I don't think I can remember that event explained in quite that way before.
Great fun.
Great fun.
-
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I looked up Maximilian, and saw about a dozen illegitimate children listed, so I figured he was the perfect candidate to be the source of a one-man population boom. 
Chapter 4, Part III
In which the Bruce and Barry are all ears
December 13, 1497
Scene: A darkened room. Bruce and Barry are being ushered in to meet with a a solidly built man in late middle age. He is dressed completely in black, wearing a vast amount of gold jewellery. In the shadows behind the seated man stands a tall thin man with a scar running down his left cheek from the corner of his eye, also dressed in black.
Barry: *suspicious* Who are you?
Big Guy: I am an Italian stereotype.
Barry: OK ... What is it that you do?
Big Guy: I have a number of ... business interests. I represent the Austrian Legitimate Businessman's Association.
Bruce: I've never heard of them.
Big Guy: We try to keep a low profile.
Barry: Why would an Italian represent the Austrian Legitimate Businessmen?
Big Guy: We like to keep these things in the family. But that is not important. We have heard that you have improved the trade infrastructure.
Barry: Yes, it went up to 3 in June.
Big Guy: If I may continue? I am not aware of the numbers, but we agreed that you have done well. On behalf of the organisation, I wish to make a donation to the Emperor to encourage free trade throughout his domains. They told me I should talk to youse guys.
Barry: What kind of donation?
Big Guy: I have 200 ducats here ...
The Italian gentleman gestures to the silent man behind him, who steps forward with a small casket. He places it on the desk, allowing his boss to open the casket. Inside is a bloodied ear resting on top of a large pile of coins.
Big Guy: I did not mean for that to be in there. *picks up the ear, and hands it to the slient man, who wraps it in a handkerchief and puts it into his pocket* That man refused to listen to my requests. Now, will you accept my money on behalf of the Emperor?
Bruce and Barry look nervous
Bruce: Errr ... What it is you would want in return?
Big Guy: Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day accept these coins as gift, from me to you.
Bruce: I am not sure that we can accept under those conditions ...
Big Guy: I do not think you are listening to me.
The henchman steps forward, reaching into his pocket, but stops as the Italian gentleman waves him back. Instead, he leans across the table and places a hand on each of Bruce and Barry's cheeks.
Big Guy: You seem like good boys. I know that you and the emperor will like to see business prosper. Especially legitimate businesses like ours. I trust that you will make the right decisions. You take the coins.
He rises from his seat. His henchman helps him into his coat.
Big Guy: Oh, and if anybody asks, you never met me, OK?
Bruce: Of course.
The two men leave the room.
Bruce: So should we take the money?
Barry: *Opening the cacket and gingerly poking at the blood stained coins* If we do, he'll think we owe him.
Bruce: If not he'll be insulted.
Barry: We're stuffed either way, so we might as well be stuffed and rich. *Closes the casket and picks it up.* Lets go.
...
March 1, 1498
Scene: A courtyard in front of the archducal palaces. Maximilian is riding out on his favourite stallion, accompanied by Bruce and Barry. Bruce is also mounted on a warhorse, while Barry seems somewhat nervous on a placid-looking gelding.
Bruce: Couldn't we have talked about this in the palace?
Maximilian: An early morning ride is invigorating. It stimulates mind and body.
Without any further discussion, Maximilian leads the way out into the fields. Barry struggles to keep pace with the other two. After five minutes of hard riding, Maximilian reins in his horse, and the Bruce stops beside him. A minute later Barry catches up.
Maximilian: And the walls in the palace have ears.
Barry: *quietly* Obviously the walls don't have to deal with the Legitimate Businessmen.
Bruce: So what's so private that we needed to come out here?
Maximilian: Nothing ... This time ... And perhaps the spies will assume the same next time.
Barry: So we came out here for nothing?
Maximilian: Not for nothing. As it happens I have some things to discuss with you. But nothing that could not have been said in the palace.
Barry: I still don't see ...
Bruce: I'll explain it to you later Barry. Whose spies are you concerned about, Maximilian? Perhaps we can root them out.
Maximilian: There is no one specific ... But it pays to be prepared.
Barry: You don't think you;re being a little paranoid?
Maximilian: Perhaps a little overly cautious, but caution is of value in affairs of state. Not in affairs of the heart of course! *He smiles.* Speaking of love and marriage, when can I expect to hear of wedding plans for my son, Philip?
Bruce: Well, err ...
Maximilian: You managed to arrange a wedding between my mother's cousin's daughter and a prince from Mainz.
Bruce: Yes, but Philip, err ... Well, he likes his freedom.
Maximilian: Like his father. *smiles* But in any case, I have more ... motivation ... for you two. Its been five years since I set your last mission, on behalf of my father. And keeping Baden seems to have been relatively easy. Now I will set you a new mission. If you fail, I will have you removed from the court.
Barry: If we weren't at the court, we wouldn't have to come on dawn rides ...
Maximilian: *glaring at Barry* You will be removed from the court and sent out as circuit judges in the provinces. Every day will involve a dawn ride. And most evenings will involve a a flea-infested bed in some minor hamlet or village. But come, I don't want to threaten you. Your mission will be simple enough.
Bruce: What is this mission then?
Maximilian: I want you to arrange a marriage between my son Philip, and the Portuguese princess.
Bruce: I think we can manage that. But haven't you considered the advantages of Princess Juana the Incredibly Sane of Castile?
Maximilian: *shaking his head* Portugal it will be! ... *turning his horse about* To make it easy for you, Princess Eleanora is staying in the palace, along with a special envoy from Portugal.
As Maximilian gallops back towards the palace, a rope appears from the lower branches of a nearby oak tree. Bruce and Barry watch as the narrator makes his way down the rope.
Barry: What were you doing there?
Narrator: I was oberving the Lesser Austrian Sap Sucking Beetle as it ended its hibernation.
Barry: Not spying on us?
Narrator: *shrugs* Why would I bother? But I have to tell you two that you have no problems with the Portuguese, and that Princess Eleanora is quite keen on Philip, so the marriage between the two of them will be concluded on March the third.
Barry: Thats only two days away!
Narrator: I did say they were keen ...
Barry: *shrugs* Oh well, at least we get an easy mission for a change. *tugs at his reins* Come on horsey, lets go home.
Chapter 4, Part III
In which the Bruce and Barry are all ears
December 13, 1497
Scene: A darkened room. Bruce and Barry are being ushered in to meet with a a solidly built man in late middle age. He is dressed completely in black, wearing a vast amount of gold jewellery. In the shadows behind the seated man stands a tall thin man with a scar running down his left cheek from the corner of his eye, also dressed in black.
Barry: *suspicious* Who are you?
Big Guy: I am an Italian stereotype.
Barry: OK ... What is it that you do?
Big Guy: I have a number of ... business interests. I represent the Austrian Legitimate Businessman's Association.
Bruce: I've never heard of them.
Big Guy: We try to keep a low profile.
Barry: Why would an Italian represent the Austrian Legitimate Businessmen?
Big Guy: We like to keep these things in the family. But that is not important. We have heard that you have improved the trade infrastructure.
Barry: Yes, it went up to 3 in June.
Big Guy: If I may continue? I am not aware of the numbers, but we agreed that you have done well. On behalf of the organisation, I wish to make a donation to the Emperor to encourage free trade throughout his domains. They told me I should talk to youse guys.
Barry: What kind of donation?
Big Guy: I have 200 ducats here ...
The Italian gentleman gestures to the silent man behind him, who steps forward with a small casket. He places it on the desk, allowing his boss to open the casket. Inside is a bloodied ear resting on top of a large pile of coins.
Big Guy: I did not mean for that to be in there. *picks up the ear, and hands it to the slient man, who wraps it in a handkerchief and puts it into his pocket* That man refused to listen to my requests. Now, will you accept my money on behalf of the Emperor?
Bruce and Barry look nervous
Bruce: Errr ... What it is you would want in return?
Big Guy: Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day accept these coins as gift, from me to you.
Bruce: I am not sure that we can accept under those conditions ...
Big Guy: I do not think you are listening to me.
The henchman steps forward, reaching into his pocket, but stops as the Italian gentleman waves him back. Instead, he leans across the table and places a hand on each of Bruce and Barry's cheeks.
Big Guy: You seem like good boys. I know that you and the emperor will like to see business prosper. Especially legitimate businesses like ours. I trust that you will make the right decisions. You take the coins.
He rises from his seat. His henchman helps him into his coat.
Big Guy: Oh, and if anybody asks, you never met me, OK?
Bruce: Of course.
The two men leave the room.
Bruce: So should we take the money?
Barry: *Opening the cacket and gingerly poking at the blood stained coins* If we do, he'll think we owe him.
Bruce: If not he'll be insulted.
Barry: We're stuffed either way, so we might as well be stuffed and rich. *Closes the casket and picks it up.* Lets go.
...
March 1, 1498
Scene: A courtyard in front of the archducal palaces. Maximilian is riding out on his favourite stallion, accompanied by Bruce and Barry. Bruce is also mounted on a warhorse, while Barry seems somewhat nervous on a placid-looking gelding.
Bruce: Couldn't we have talked about this in the palace?
Maximilian: An early morning ride is invigorating. It stimulates mind and body.
Without any further discussion, Maximilian leads the way out into the fields. Barry struggles to keep pace with the other two. After five minutes of hard riding, Maximilian reins in his horse, and the Bruce stops beside him. A minute later Barry catches up.
Maximilian: And the walls in the palace have ears.
Barry: *quietly* Obviously the walls don't have to deal with the Legitimate Businessmen.
Bruce: So what's so private that we needed to come out here?
Maximilian: Nothing ... This time ... And perhaps the spies will assume the same next time.
Barry: So we came out here for nothing?
Maximilian: Not for nothing. As it happens I have some things to discuss with you. But nothing that could not have been said in the palace.
Barry: I still don't see ...
Bruce: I'll explain it to you later Barry. Whose spies are you concerned about, Maximilian? Perhaps we can root them out.
Maximilian: There is no one specific ... But it pays to be prepared.
Barry: You don't think you;re being a little paranoid?
Maximilian: Perhaps a little overly cautious, but caution is of value in affairs of state. Not in affairs of the heart of course! *He smiles.* Speaking of love and marriage, when can I expect to hear of wedding plans for my son, Philip?
Bruce: Well, err ...
Maximilian: You managed to arrange a wedding between my mother's cousin's daughter and a prince from Mainz.
Bruce: Yes, but Philip, err ... Well, he likes his freedom.
Maximilian: Like his father. *smiles* But in any case, I have more ... motivation ... for you two. Its been five years since I set your last mission, on behalf of my father. And keeping Baden seems to have been relatively easy. Now I will set you a new mission. If you fail, I will have you removed from the court.
Barry: If we weren't at the court, we wouldn't have to come on dawn rides ...
Maximilian: *glaring at Barry* You will be removed from the court and sent out as circuit judges in the provinces. Every day will involve a dawn ride. And most evenings will involve a a flea-infested bed in some minor hamlet or village. But come, I don't want to threaten you. Your mission will be simple enough.
Bruce: What is this mission then?
Maximilian: I want you to arrange a marriage between my son Philip, and the Portuguese princess.
Bruce: I think we can manage that. But haven't you considered the advantages of Princess Juana the Incredibly Sane of Castile?
Maximilian: *shaking his head* Portugal it will be! ... *turning his horse about* To make it easy for you, Princess Eleanora is staying in the palace, along with a special envoy from Portugal.
As Maximilian gallops back towards the palace, a rope appears from the lower branches of a nearby oak tree. Bruce and Barry watch as the narrator makes his way down the rope.
Barry: What were you doing there?
Narrator: I was oberving the Lesser Austrian Sap Sucking Beetle as it ended its hibernation.
Barry: Not spying on us?
Narrator: *shrugs* Why would I bother? But I have to tell you two that you have no problems with the Portuguese, and that Princess Eleanora is quite keen on Philip, so the marriage between the two of them will be concluded on March the third.
Barry: Thats only two days away!
Narrator: I did say they were keen ...
Barry: *shrugs* Oh well, at least we get an easy mission for a change. *tugs at his reins* Come on horsey, lets go home.
Love the narrator! Hes my fav character yet
this is hilarious! Keep up the good work TimN if there is ever an oscAAR for comedy AARs, im definately voting for this!
this is hilarious! Keep up the good work TimN
if there is ever an oscAAR for comedy AARs, im definately voting for this!
Just caught up with B & B - with plenty of chuckling and sniggering, of course! I'm especially glad to see that they've got their hands on some naval hardware at last, even if the route home is still a tad sketchy!
TimN said:
Nice touch. I can't wait to see what that Italian guy is going to ask for next...
I probably may have missed something, but when Bruce and Barry took the money from the mafia don - I mean legitimet bussinessmen - was that a loan that you took out?
TreizeV Thank you! I was thinking of pensioning off the narrator once he runs out of interesting critters to observe, but I can see that I will face some serious opposition to that.
Farqhuarson Part of the reason Bruce is so obsessed with Princess Juana the Completely Sane from Spain is that I'm hoping to be able to get the Spanish or the Portuguese to share their maps with me. If that fails, I'll just start a war with the French and see what they've got.
jwolf Oh there is more to come ... Stay tuned
Arcadian In fact it was a state gift. It came straight after an increase in the trade level, so I figured the most logical reason for the gift was that businessmen were happy about that. The legitimate businessmen just kind of muscled in after that ...
Farqhuarson Part of the reason Bruce is so obsessed with Princess Juana the Completely Sane from Spain is that I'm hoping to be able to get the Spanish or the Portuguese to share their maps with me. If that fails, I'll just start a war with the French and see what they've got.
jwolf Oh there is more to come ... Stay tuned
Arcadian In fact it was a state gift. It came straight after an increase in the trade level, so I figured the most logical reason for the gift was that businessmen were happy about that. The legitimate businessmen just kind of muscled in after that ...
Chapter 4, Part IV
In which diplomacy reigns supreme
May 26, 1499
Scene: The dungeons. Bruce and Barry are talking with an ambassador is a small, but well-lit cell, suggesting that relations between Austria and Naples are on a reasonable footing.
Bruce: What exactly is the problem?
Neapolitan Ambassador: The government in Naples in concerned about Austrian encroachments on our territory.
Bruce unrolls a map, showing it to the ambassador.
Bruce: Which territory exactly? Austria and Naples don't even share a border!
Neapolitan Ambassador: *examines the map closely, then points to the island of Elba, off the coast of the province of Emilia* There! Elba should be a part of Naples.
Bruce: But Elba is miles from Naples, and just off the coast of Austria.
Neapolitan Ambassador: We heard you had specifically removed it from you country.
Barry: Only from the migration zone.
Neapolitan Ambassador: *shrugs* Same thing.
Bruce: No, its an important difference. As long as Elba remains a part of our migration zone, the people smugglers will be encouraged to ply their vile trade and use it as a stepping stone to bring illegal immigrants and queue jumpers into the country.
Neapolitan Ambassador: So in summary, Elba is a part of Austria, except when it doesn't suit you?
Bruce: Not at all. The policy is simply one to discourage people smugglers.
Neapolitan Ambassador: Have you had any people smugglers?
Bruce: Well, no ... none that want to get INTO the country, anyway.
Neapolitan Ambassador: *pauses* In any case, Naples believe that it is our duty to take responsibility for the administration of the island.
Bruce: Everything on Elba is well in hand. Surely we can settle this?
Neapolitan Ambassador: Ahhh, now we are negotiating! If you pay us 45 ducats, we will forget the whole issue.
Bruce: *sputters* 45 ducats! Are you kidding?! Austria is a much bigger nation than Naples. Our allies are strong, and now include Mainz, and we now have ... *pauses for dramatic effect* General von Frundsberg!
Neapolitan Ambassador: We are not afraid of your new general.
Bruce: Oh ... *looks disappointed*
Neapolitan Ambassador: Or your new ally for that matter. Whats the problem? I was told that you had money to spare.
Barry: *looking alarmed* Who told you that?! Your government in Naples isn't run by ... legitimate businessmen by any chance, is it?
Neapolitan Ambassador: The Neapolitan Legitimate Businessman's Association do support the king, yes.
Barry: I see ... Excuse me a moment.
Barry takes Bruce to a corner and they confer.
Barry: I think we should pay him.
Bruce: But its blackmail!
Barry: Yes, but I'm sure our local businessmen would prefer that we stay friends with Naples.
Bruce: Maybe so, but still ...
Barry: And we can spare the money.
Bruce: We'd be better off spending it on bribing Mainz.
Barry: Maybe, maybe not. Upsetting the businessmen will just cause problems.
Bruce: OK, OK. *returning to talk to the ambassador* All right, we'll pay the 45 ducats, if you agree to assure the Neapolitan and Austrian Legitimate Businessmen that Austria and Naples are good friends.
Neapolitan Ambassador: *bows* Of course!
The ambassador clicks his fingers, and a tall thin man with a scar on his cheek appears out of the shadows in the corridor. The ambassador nods to him once, and he turns and makes his way out of the dungeons.
Bruce: How did he get in here?
Neapolitan Ambassador: He was sent to carry the result of our discussions back to out mutual friends. They will be pleased with your decision.
Bruce: *mutters* Only ambassadors should get in here. Thats the whole point of locking them up.
Barry: I expect they made one of the guards an offer he couldn't refuse.
...
October 1499
Scene: A richly appointed room in the dungeons. Bruce and Barry are meeting with the ambassador from Mainz, a blonde man with a bland face.
Bruce: I hope the new room has been to your liking, Mr Ambassador.
Mainz Ambassador: Please, call me Johann. And yes, I am enjoying this much more in this room.
Bruce: Good, Good. Its the second best in the dungeons, so I expected you would like it.
Johann: Second best? Why don't I get the best?
Bruce: Well, to be frank, we're not sure that we can trust your nation.
Johann: What do you mean? We have a military alliance with you! It would be suicide for Mainz to attack Austria.
Bruce: Logically yes, but not all of the monarchs of Europe are completely ... *tapping his finger to his temple* logical.
Johann: *stiffens* I can assure you that Duke Berthold is a very sensible man.
Barry: I am sure he is ... but perhaps some extra reassurance could be offered?
Johann: I don't see what else we can do ...
Bruce: Well, you could accept vassalage ...
Johann: *looks doubtful* I am not sure that Duke Berthold will agree to that.
Barry: Duke Berthold will retain complete freedom in all matters.
Bruce: Except, of course, in conducting foreign affairs.
Johann: I assue you that Duke Berthold is a clean-living man. He has no affairs that I know of, and certainly none with foreigners.
Bruce: Errr ... What I mean is that Duke Berthold will give up his freedom to manage relations with ...
Johann: *looks offended* I assure you that Duke Berthold has certainly never had an affair with any of his relations, except those separated from him by six degrees, as is proscribed by the Pope, of course.
Bruce: No foreigners, no relatives. Who does that leave? Anyway, what I mean is that Duke Berthold wouldn't have to give up any of his rights.
Johann: Good! Frankly I am a bit worried about you Austrians and your obsessions with sex, but ... I think we can agree to this. Where do I sign?
Barry: *Whispers* Should we mention the thing about them paying us half their incomes?
Bruce: *smiling at Johann and speaking out of the side of his mouth* Oh, I am sure they know all about that ...
Bruce steps forward and hands Johann a document.
Barry: *quietly* He makes the ambassador from Bavaria look like a genius
Johann: *overhearing* Bavaria? But that hasn't been a separate country for nearly 55 years. Surely you have never met an ambassador from Bavaria.
Barry: Did I say Bavaria? I meant Baden.
Johann: But ...
Bruce: I think what my friend means is that no one has driven such a hard bargain with anyone from Austria since the deal that was struck when Bavaria was annexed.
Barry: Yes, thats what I meant. *nods*
Bruce: A deal that we had nothing at all to do with ...
Barry: Yes, nothing to do with it ... I read it in my ... err ... a diary I found.
Johann: Now ... J ... o ... h ... Hmmm ... were you saying something?
Bruce: No, no ... Carry on ...
Johann: Where was I? Damn! I'll have to start again. J ...
In which diplomacy reigns supreme
May 26, 1499
Scene: The dungeons. Bruce and Barry are talking with an ambassador is a small, but well-lit cell, suggesting that relations between Austria and Naples are on a reasonable footing.
Bruce: What exactly is the problem?
Neapolitan Ambassador: The government in Naples in concerned about Austrian encroachments on our territory.
Bruce unrolls a map, showing it to the ambassador.
Bruce: Which territory exactly? Austria and Naples don't even share a border!
Neapolitan Ambassador: *examines the map closely, then points to the island of Elba, off the coast of the province of Emilia* There! Elba should be a part of Naples.
Bruce: But Elba is miles from Naples, and just off the coast of Austria.
Neapolitan Ambassador: We heard you had specifically removed it from you country.
Barry: Only from the migration zone.
Neapolitan Ambassador: *shrugs* Same thing.
Bruce: No, its an important difference. As long as Elba remains a part of our migration zone, the people smugglers will be encouraged to ply their vile trade and use it as a stepping stone to bring illegal immigrants and queue jumpers into the country.
Neapolitan Ambassador: So in summary, Elba is a part of Austria, except when it doesn't suit you?
Bruce: Not at all. The policy is simply one to discourage people smugglers.
Neapolitan Ambassador: Have you had any people smugglers?
Bruce: Well, no ... none that want to get INTO the country, anyway.
Neapolitan Ambassador: *pauses* In any case, Naples believe that it is our duty to take responsibility for the administration of the island.
Bruce: Everything on Elba is well in hand. Surely we can settle this?
Neapolitan Ambassador: Ahhh, now we are negotiating! If you pay us 45 ducats, we will forget the whole issue.
Bruce: *sputters* 45 ducats! Are you kidding?! Austria is a much bigger nation than Naples. Our allies are strong, and now include Mainz, and we now have ... *pauses for dramatic effect* General von Frundsberg!
Neapolitan Ambassador: We are not afraid of your new general.
Bruce: Oh ... *looks disappointed*
Neapolitan Ambassador: Or your new ally for that matter. Whats the problem? I was told that you had money to spare.
Barry: *looking alarmed* Who told you that?! Your government in Naples isn't run by ... legitimate businessmen by any chance, is it?
Neapolitan Ambassador: The Neapolitan Legitimate Businessman's Association do support the king, yes.
Barry: I see ... Excuse me a moment.
Barry takes Bruce to a corner and they confer.
Barry: I think we should pay him.
Bruce: But its blackmail!
Barry: Yes, but I'm sure our local businessmen would prefer that we stay friends with Naples.
Bruce: Maybe so, but still ...
Barry: And we can spare the money.
Bruce: We'd be better off spending it on bribing Mainz.
Barry: Maybe, maybe not. Upsetting the businessmen will just cause problems.
Bruce: OK, OK. *returning to talk to the ambassador* All right, we'll pay the 45 ducats, if you agree to assure the Neapolitan and Austrian Legitimate Businessmen that Austria and Naples are good friends.
Neapolitan Ambassador: *bows* Of course!
The ambassador clicks his fingers, and a tall thin man with a scar on his cheek appears out of the shadows in the corridor. The ambassador nods to him once, and he turns and makes his way out of the dungeons.
Bruce: How did he get in here?
Neapolitan Ambassador: He was sent to carry the result of our discussions back to out mutual friends. They will be pleased with your decision.
Bruce: *mutters* Only ambassadors should get in here. Thats the whole point of locking them up.
Barry: I expect they made one of the guards an offer he couldn't refuse.
...
October 1499
Scene: A richly appointed room in the dungeons. Bruce and Barry are meeting with the ambassador from Mainz, a blonde man with a bland face.
Bruce: I hope the new room has been to your liking, Mr Ambassador.
Mainz Ambassador: Please, call me Johann. And yes, I am enjoying this much more in this room.
Bruce: Good, Good. Its the second best in the dungeons, so I expected you would like it.
Johann: Second best? Why don't I get the best?
Bruce: Well, to be frank, we're not sure that we can trust your nation.
Johann: What do you mean? We have a military alliance with you! It would be suicide for Mainz to attack Austria.
Bruce: Logically yes, but not all of the monarchs of Europe are completely ... *tapping his finger to his temple* logical.
Johann: *stiffens* I can assure you that Duke Berthold is a very sensible man.
Barry: I am sure he is ... but perhaps some extra reassurance could be offered?
Johann: I don't see what else we can do ...
Bruce: Well, you could accept vassalage ...
Johann: *looks doubtful* I am not sure that Duke Berthold will agree to that.
Barry: Duke Berthold will retain complete freedom in all matters.
Bruce: Except, of course, in conducting foreign affairs.
Johann: I assue you that Duke Berthold is a clean-living man. He has no affairs that I know of, and certainly none with foreigners.
Bruce: Errr ... What I mean is that Duke Berthold will give up his freedom to manage relations with ...
Johann: *looks offended* I assure you that Duke Berthold has certainly never had an affair with any of his relations, except those separated from him by six degrees, as is proscribed by the Pope, of course.
Bruce: No foreigners, no relatives. Who does that leave? Anyway, what I mean is that Duke Berthold wouldn't have to give up any of his rights.
Johann: Good! Frankly I am a bit worried about you Austrians and your obsessions with sex, but ... I think we can agree to this. Where do I sign?
Barry: *Whispers* Should we mention the thing about them paying us half their incomes?
Bruce: *smiling at Johann and speaking out of the side of his mouth* Oh, I am sure they know all about that ...
Bruce steps forward and hands Johann a document.
Barry: *quietly* He makes the ambassador from Bavaria look like a genius
Johann: *overhearing* Bavaria? But that hasn't been a separate country for nearly 55 years. Surely you have never met an ambassador from Bavaria.
Barry: Did I say Bavaria? I meant Baden.
Johann: But ...
Bruce: I think what my friend means is that no one has driven such a hard bargain with anyone from Austria since the deal that was struck when Bavaria was annexed.
Barry: Yes, thats what I meant. *nods*
Bruce: A deal that we had nothing at all to do with ...
Barry: Yes, nothing to do with it ... I read it in my ... err ... a diary I found.
Johann: Now ... J ... o ... h ... Hmmm ... were you saying something?
Bruce: No, no ... Carry on ...
Johann: Where was I? Damn! I'll have to start again. J ...
I'm getting an uneasy feeling about these "legitimate businessmen" from the south of Italy. Better tell Bruce and Barry to watch their backs. That was very nice negotiation with Mainz. So did the ambassador actually sign?
Better tell Bruce and Barry to watch their backs. That was very nice negotiation with Mainz. So did the ambassador actually sign?
Sounded like he was going to as soon as he remembered how to spell his name.jwolf said:
Sorry Judas Maccabeus. Barry just panicked.
I'm sure that the ambassador from Mainz will have signed by the time we get to the next installment. If not, the Legitimate Businessmen have a guy who can do an excellent "artistic impression" of his signature.
I'm sure that the ambassador from Mainz will have signed by the time we get to the next installment.
If not, the Legitimate Businessmen have a guy who can do an excellent "artistic impression" of his signature.
Just caught up reading your latest installments!
:rofl:
Definitely my favourite!
:rofl:
:rofl:TimN said:
Definitely my favourite!
Chapter 4, Part V
In which Karl and Conrad retire
September 1501
Scene: The throne room in Mantua. Emperor Maximilian is seated on the throne, receiving various symbols of office from local dignitaries, including the Bishop. Bruce and Barry are towards the back of a line of Austrian dignitaries situated to the right of the main stage.
Barry: *stifling a yawn* Its all the same as last time.
Bruce: *thinks* We weren't here last time were we?
Barry: You know what I mean. Seen one annexation ceremony, seen 'em all.
Bruce: I guess ... I wonder why Max insisted we come for this one?
Barry: Who cares. Italy in the early autumn, its been great.
At this stage the narrator appears from an alcove and begins pacing between Bruce and Barry and the main dais. As usual, the rest of the crowd appears not to notice him.
Narrator: The two years following the vassalisation of Mainz pass peacefully. The increasing importance of trade with South America leads a trade centre opening in Andalusia in January of 1501, but otherwise Barry's time passes quietly. The Emperor promoted a young noble named Ferdinand to the rank of Lieutenant General at the start of 1500. Between Ferdinand and General von Frundsberg, the administration of the army was in capable hands, but Bruce remained involved and continued his efforts to improve the Austrian army as a fighting force.
Bruce's training continued in the fields surrounding Vienna under all conditions. In January of 1501 this policy caused a minor tragedy, when the freezing weather warped a cannon, and a practice shot slammed into the dungeons. Fortunately, no Austrians were harmed in the accident, but the ambassador from Savoy was killed. This caused some concern, but a small bribe was delivered to Savoy, which soon smoothed things over, and a new ambassador was dispatched to Vienna almost immediately.
The ceremony on the dais has reached a new stage. The line in front of Bruce and Barry begins to shuffle forward as the Autrian delegation receives rewards of positions and estates in Mantua and the surrounding countryside.
Bruce: Hey, didn't Max promise us some estates in Mantua?
Barry: Oh yeah ... Just after he took our other estates off of us.
Bruce: Yes ... I wonder if these means he'll want us to retire?
Barry: *shrugs* Its been a while. I guess we'll find out.
Barry and Bruce fall silent as they slowly make their way to the front of the queue.
Maximilian: Ahhh, my two faithful, and inseparable advisors, Karl and Conrad. Step forward. As a reward for the years of service to me and to my father, I give you these estates near the town of Guastalla for you to enjoy during your retirement from court life.
Barry: But ...
Maximilian: This is typical of the loyalty that these two have shown. I offer them the ease of retirement, and they seek to protest. Not another word you two! Go now. Enjoy your retirement. When I have need of them, I will ask that you send your sons to the court in Vienna, to serve me there.
Barry looks relieved and accepts his title deeds from Maximilian with a bow. Bruce steps forward and receives his deed. The two turn and depart.
Bruce: *whispering* So we're off for another break?
Barry: Yep. I think Max can cope without us for a bit. It's been pretty quiet the last couple of years.
Bruce: Yeah, but his two generals are just itching for a fight.
Barry: I'm sure he can handle them as well as you could.
OOC: Gain Mantua: Pop 64,006, Income 20, Trade 1, Grain
...
April 1503
Scene: The Archducal bedroom. Maximilian is waiting by the door for Bruce and Barry to join him. The servant he has sent to fetch them is sent away.
Maximilian: Come in, come in! We are alone in here, so we can speak freely. Welcome back!
Barry: Thank you Maximilian. It is good to be back at the centre of things.
Maximilian: Good, good! Now, first things first. Name for you two. I can't call you Karl, now that Philip has chosen that name for his son. Do you have any ideas?
Bruce: How about our real names?
Maximilian: I have heard stories of witchcraft. If a witch knows your true name, she has power over you. Just to be safe, I think we should use other names.
Bruce: Superstitious nonsense!
Maximilian: Normally I would agree with you, if I wasn't in the presence of two men who haven't aged in the last century.
Bruce: Fair point. OK, we'll use false names then.
Maximilian: Good. *pointing to Bruce* You can be Dieter, and you can be Edvin.
Barry: So did we miss anything?
Maximilian: We joined the League of Cambrai.
Bruce: I should have been consulted on that!
Maximilian: It was a simple decision. We don't have to do anything, just agree with the Pope and the French that the Venetians are evil. Since we thought that anyway, there was no harm in agreeing.
Bruce: I suppose not. That was all?
Maximilian: The captains of 5 galleys offered their services to us in Emilia, so we more than doubled the size of the navy.
Bruce: Why would they do that?
Maximilian They said they had a sudden enthusiasm for the navy.
Barry: Hmmm ... What did they do before they had this bout of enthusiasm?
Maximilian: I believe they were employed by traders.
Barry: Where were those traders based?
Maximilian: Somewhere in Italy, I think.
Barry: Naples, by any chance?
Maximilian: Yes! I think it was!
Barry: *glances at Bruce* We are going to have to do something about them ...
Maximilian: About who?
Barry: Nothing for you to concern yourself about, Maximilian. We will take care of it.
Maximilian: Very well. I must say, you succeeded most admirably with the last mission I set you.
Bruce: Thank you, my lord. But you must take much of the credit.
Maximilian: I did choose well for Philip, didn't I? And the birth of young Karl so soon after the wedding was a very pleasant surprise.
Bruce: We were all very proud.
Maxmilian: Now that the succession is secured, I have decided to set you a more ambitious mission.
Barry: Will we be punished if we fail?
Maximilian: Lets see ... Your mission will be to conquer Romagna.
Bruce: But the Pope is one of our staunchest friends! Especially since you signed up for the League of Cambrai.
Maximilian: But he's not an ally. I want to expand my realm in Italy.
Bruce: But we have gained Modena and Mantua already. And thats in less than a decade.
Maximilian: All the more reason to maintain the momentum.
Bruce: Fine! *to Barry* I wish we could have stayed retired a bit longer.
In which Karl and Conrad retire
September 1501
Scene: The throne room in Mantua. Emperor Maximilian is seated on the throne, receiving various symbols of office from local dignitaries, including the Bishop. Bruce and Barry are towards the back of a line of Austrian dignitaries situated to the right of the main stage.
Barry: *stifling a yawn* Its all the same as last time.
Bruce: *thinks* We weren't here last time were we?
Barry: You know what I mean. Seen one annexation ceremony, seen 'em all.
Bruce: I guess ... I wonder why Max insisted we come for this one?
Barry: Who cares. Italy in the early autumn, its been great.
At this stage the narrator appears from an alcove and begins pacing between Bruce and Barry and the main dais. As usual, the rest of the crowd appears not to notice him.
Narrator: The two years following the vassalisation of Mainz pass peacefully. The increasing importance of trade with South America leads a trade centre opening in Andalusia in January of 1501, but otherwise Barry's time passes quietly. The Emperor promoted a young noble named Ferdinand to the rank of Lieutenant General at the start of 1500. Between Ferdinand and General von Frundsberg, the administration of the army was in capable hands, but Bruce remained involved and continued his efforts to improve the Austrian army as a fighting force.
Bruce's training continued in the fields surrounding Vienna under all conditions. In January of 1501 this policy caused a minor tragedy, when the freezing weather warped a cannon, and a practice shot slammed into the dungeons. Fortunately, no Austrians were harmed in the accident, but the ambassador from Savoy was killed. This caused some concern, but a small bribe was delivered to Savoy, which soon smoothed things over, and a new ambassador was dispatched to Vienna almost immediately.
The ceremony on the dais has reached a new stage. The line in front of Bruce and Barry begins to shuffle forward as the Autrian delegation receives rewards of positions and estates in Mantua and the surrounding countryside.
Bruce: Hey, didn't Max promise us some estates in Mantua?
Barry: Oh yeah ... Just after he took our other estates off of us.
Bruce: Yes ... I wonder if these means he'll want us to retire?
Barry: *shrugs* Its been a while. I guess we'll find out.
Barry and Bruce fall silent as they slowly make their way to the front of the queue.
Maximilian: Ahhh, my two faithful, and inseparable advisors, Karl and Conrad. Step forward. As a reward for the years of service to me and to my father, I give you these estates near the town of Guastalla for you to enjoy during your retirement from court life.
Barry: But ...
Maximilian: This is typical of the loyalty that these two have shown. I offer them the ease of retirement, and they seek to protest. Not another word you two! Go now. Enjoy your retirement. When I have need of them, I will ask that you send your sons to the court in Vienna, to serve me there.
Barry looks relieved and accepts his title deeds from Maximilian with a bow. Bruce steps forward and receives his deed. The two turn and depart.
Bruce: *whispering* So we're off for another break?
Barry: Yep. I think Max can cope without us for a bit. It's been pretty quiet the last couple of years.
Bruce: Yeah, but his two generals are just itching for a fight.
Barry: I'm sure he can handle them as well as you could.
OOC: Gain Mantua: Pop 64,006, Income 20, Trade 1, Grain
...
April 1503
Scene: The Archducal bedroom. Maximilian is waiting by the door for Bruce and Barry to join him. The servant he has sent to fetch them is sent away.
Maximilian: Come in, come in! We are alone in here, so we can speak freely. Welcome back!
Barry: Thank you Maximilian. It is good to be back at the centre of things.
Maximilian: Good, good! Now, first things first. Name for you two. I can't call you Karl, now that Philip has chosen that name for his son. Do you have any ideas?
Bruce: How about our real names?
Maximilian: I have heard stories of witchcraft. If a witch knows your true name, she has power over you. Just to be safe, I think we should use other names.
Bruce: Superstitious nonsense!
Maximilian: Normally I would agree with you, if I wasn't in the presence of two men who haven't aged in the last century.
Bruce: Fair point. OK, we'll use false names then.
Maximilian: Good. *pointing to Bruce* You can be Dieter, and you can be Edvin.
Barry: So did we miss anything?
Maximilian: We joined the League of Cambrai.
Bruce: I should have been consulted on that!
Maximilian: It was a simple decision. We don't have to do anything, just agree with the Pope and the French that the Venetians are evil. Since we thought that anyway, there was no harm in agreeing.
Bruce: I suppose not. That was all?
Maximilian: The captains of 5 galleys offered their services to us in Emilia, so we more than doubled the size of the navy.
Bruce: Why would they do that?
Maximilian They said they had a sudden enthusiasm for the navy.
Barry: Hmmm ... What did they do before they had this bout of enthusiasm?
Maximilian: I believe they were employed by traders.
Barry: Where were those traders based?
Maximilian: Somewhere in Italy, I think.
Barry: Naples, by any chance?
Maximilian: Yes! I think it was!
Barry: *glances at Bruce* We are going to have to do something about them ...
Maximilian: About who?
Barry: Nothing for you to concern yourself about, Maximilian. We will take care of it.
Maximilian: Very well. I must say, you succeeded most admirably with the last mission I set you.
Bruce: Thank you, my lord. But you must take much of the credit.
Maximilian: I did choose well for Philip, didn't I? And the birth of young Karl so soon after the wedding was a very pleasant surprise.
Bruce: We were all very proud.
Maxmilian: Now that the succession is secured, I have decided to set you a more ambitious mission.
Barry: Will we be punished if we fail?
Maximilian: Lets see ... Your mission will be to conquer Romagna.
Bruce: But the Pope is one of our staunchest friends! Especially since you signed up for the League of Cambrai.
Maximilian: But he's not an ally. I want to expand my realm in Italy.
Bruce: But we have gained Modena and Mantua already. And thats in less than a decade.
Maximilian: All the more reason to maintain the momentum.
Bruce: Fine! *to Barry* I wish we could have stayed retired a bit longer.
That was a rather short retirement. Poor B&B barely had time to catch their breath. Maybe they need a nice relaxing cruise of exploration around the coast of Africa?
<snort> No flies on Maxilimilian, I see - even if he shares the family obsession with Romagna.TimN said:
Very nice series of updates. What's your long-term plan - to get maps off Spain or Portugal and then ??? Sooner or later you're going to need your own explorer and I don't think Austria has any scripted...
Despite a great deal of persuasion, the Portuguese have not yet been forthcoming with their maps. But as merrick points out, without an exploerer of their own, Bruce and Barry won't find a way to Australia.
I think the only solution may be exploration through conquest. Especially after the Netherlands form up. A few sea battles to steal rutters might be the way to go.
...
Chapter 4, Part VI
In which economic restructuring is required
April 20, 1506
Scene: A green hilltop, not too far from the walls of Vienna. Maximilian, Bruce and Barry are all on horseback.Nobody else is in sight.
Maximilian: Now that we are safe from eavesdroppers ... I have just had a disturbing visit from an Italian gentleman, who claims to be a friend of yours.
Barry: We deal with so many people ... Did he tell you his name?
Maximilian: No. He was very clear that he wouldn't give his name. He was dressed in black and wearing a great deal of gold jewellery. He was escorted by a thin man with a scar on his cheek. Sound familiar to you?
Barry: Err ... Yes, I think he does.
Maximilian: Then I think you have a problem. When he spoke to me, he mentioned you both. Or rather he mentioned Karl and Conrad and their recent retirement. He said that he knew where they were lived. He also made vague threats about your safety as Dieter and Edvin.
Bruce: That sounds like the guy we met. What did he want?
Maximilian: He suggested that it would be in my ... our ... best interests if we paid him an 10% of the cost of everything that we purchase, from helmets for the troops to a new manufactory. Apparently this extra 10% will be "insurance" to ensure that "accidents" don't happen.
Barry: 10% on everything! That sounds like extortion to me!
Maximilian: And to me. However he suggested that he had already agreed this policy with you ... as Karl and Conrad. Why would he think that?
Barry: He approached us. When was it?
Bruce: *quietly* Do we really want to tell Maximilian about this?
Barry: *dropping his voice as well* I think he'll find out anyway.
Bruce: Yeah, it was 1497.
Barry: Yes, in 1497 that gentleman met with us and made a donation of 200 ducats.
Maximilian: A "donation"? Surely he expected something in return.
Bruce: We were worried that he did, but we didn't agree to anything.
Maximilian: *Giving the boys a quizzical look* So he gave you 200 ducats for no reason? I find that hard to believe. He struck me as many things, but not stupid.
Barry: He did mention something about us doing him a favour ...
Bruce: But it was very vague ...
Barry: I had thought it would be something like coming to his son's christening.
Maximilian: *Even more incredulous* Really?
Barry: Well ... perhaps a little more than that. But nothing this major.
Maximilian: It didn't occur to you that this was corruption?
Barry: Oh no. We recorded the donation and kept receipts.
Maximilian: Yes, I can believe that you would have too. So what are we going to do about this?
Barry: I think we should crack down on this man and his associates.
Maximilian: I agree. We can't afford to let him get his way. Spend what you need from the treasury. We will use the money this man gave us to help put an end to the corruption he has created.
Barry: We'll get right to it.
Maximilian: Good. Inform the stable master I will be back in an hour or so ...
Maximilian turns and begins to ride away from Vienna, towards the nearby forest.
Bruce: Shouldn't someone come with you?
Maximilian: *Over his shoulder* I'll be fine!
Barry: *shrugs* We're not paid to be bodyguards, Bruce. Lets go.
As Bruce and Barry turn back towards the walls Vienna, a small mound infront of them rolls back and the narrator appears from a hidey-hole under the layer of grass. Bruce and Barry look startled, but not surprised to see him.
Narrator: Barry and Bruce spend a total of 100 ducats investigating the Legitimate Businessmen, including a small sum to provide personal protection for them. The investigation is very rigourous, and a number of genuine businesses were inconvenienced. The entire Austrian economy was slowed as Bruce and Barry struggled to bring the Legitimate Businessmen to justice. Eventually, Barry found a number of anomalies on their income tax returns. The man who had dealt with Bruce and Barry was identified as Vito Grollo. He was sentenced to five years imprisonment for tax fraud. He was also found to have entered the country illegally, so after he had served his time he was deported back to Naples, the country of his birth.
...
January 12, 1508
Scene: The library. Bruce is playing wargames, using inkpots as soldiers. Just as he is moving his cavalry forwards, a rope drops to the floor next to him and the narrator rappels down from the ceiling. Bruce is startled and knocks over one of his soldiers. He swears under his breath and begins mopping up the ink.
Narrator: Austria continued with its pacifist policies over the next two years. So long had the period of peace been that the military alliance between Austria, Saxony, Mainz and Hungary was allowed to lapse in September 1506. Within a week, the Hungarians had formed a new alliance with their former enemies, Naples, Venice and the Papal States. The Austrians were not sad to see them go, and over the next two weeks, Bruce and Barry moved to form a new alliance with Mainz, Savoy and Saxony. Although none of these partners was as powerful as the Hungarians, they were also far less war-like.
Also on the diplomatic front, the relations between France and Austria continued to improve, as France agreed to join the League of Cambrai.
The narrator tugs on the rope and it detaches from the ceiling. He coils it up and slips out a side door as Barry enters.
Barry: Have you heard? Max has chosen a bunch of weavers to help him with his finances.
Bruce: Isn't that your job Barry?
Barry: I know.
Barry surveys the carnage of Bruce's battlefield.
Barry: And it would be easier to do my job if you left my paperwork alone.
Bruce: Sorry about that Barry, but the narrator guy was ... *Bruce looks around, and is surprised not to find the narrator* yeah, well, sorry.
Barry: *sighs* Anyway, the Fuggers are ...
Bruce: Barry!
Barry: What? The Fuggers ...
Bruce: Language, Barry!
Barry: No, seriously, thats their name. The Fuggers from Augsburg will be supporting the Austrian throne financially.
Bruce: Ohhh ... So the Fuggers will become merchant bankers? Does it make much difference?
Barry: Well, apparently they have huge resources, so the loans will be 500 ducats from now on.
Bruce: But we don't actually have any loans do we?
Barry: No, and I have worked flat out to avoid getting any. But we have to prepare for the possibility that we might need some.
Bruce: Don't we just go to the bank?
Barry: Banks haven't really been invented yet. Up until now, I would have approached the local business people, but the corruption scandal has made them a bit edgy.
Bruce: Fair enough. But it won't make much difference will it?
Barry: No, not really. We'll also get some extra merchants.
Bruce: We've already got more than we can use don't we?
Barry: Yeah. The best thing about the deal seems to be that the Fuggers have really excellent contacts, so the price of everything will be reduced by about 5%.
Bruce: Reduced?! Whats the catch?
Barry: Well, they need 100 ducats now to set things moving, but thats it.
Bruce: And you trust them?
Barry: *shrugs* I dunno. But Max does, so I guess I do too.
I think the only solution may be exploration through conquest.
Especially after the Netherlands form up. A few sea battles to steal rutters might be the way to go. ...
Chapter 4, Part VI
In which economic restructuring is required
April 20, 1506
Scene: A green hilltop, not too far from the walls of Vienna. Maximilian, Bruce and Barry are all on horseback.Nobody else is in sight.
Maximilian: Now that we are safe from eavesdroppers ... I have just had a disturbing visit from an Italian gentleman, who claims to be a friend of yours.
Barry: We deal with so many people ... Did he tell you his name?
Maximilian: No. He was very clear that he wouldn't give his name. He was dressed in black and wearing a great deal of gold jewellery. He was escorted by a thin man with a scar on his cheek. Sound familiar to you?
Barry: Err ... Yes, I think he does.
Maximilian: Then I think you have a problem. When he spoke to me, he mentioned you both. Or rather he mentioned Karl and Conrad and their recent retirement. He said that he knew where they were lived. He also made vague threats about your safety as Dieter and Edvin.
Bruce: That sounds like the guy we met. What did he want?
Maximilian: He suggested that it would be in my ... our ... best interests if we paid him an 10% of the cost of everything that we purchase, from helmets for the troops to a new manufactory. Apparently this extra 10% will be "insurance" to ensure that "accidents" don't happen.
Barry: 10% on everything! That sounds like extortion to me!
Maximilian: And to me. However he suggested that he had already agreed this policy with you ... as Karl and Conrad. Why would he think that?
Barry: He approached us. When was it?
Bruce: *quietly* Do we really want to tell Maximilian about this?
Barry: *dropping his voice as well* I think he'll find out anyway.
Bruce: Yeah, it was 1497.
Barry: Yes, in 1497 that gentleman met with us and made a donation of 200 ducats.
Maximilian: A "donation"? Surely he expected something in return.
Bruce: We were worried that he did, but we didn't agree to anything.
Maximilian: *Giving the boys a quizzical look* So he gave you 200 ducats for no reason? I find that hard to believe. He struck me as many things, but not stupid.
Barry: He did mention something about us doing him a favour ...
Bruce: But it was very vague ...
Barry: I had thought it would be something like coming to his son's christening.
Maximilian: *Even more incredulous* Really?
Barry: Well ... perhaps a little more than that. But nothing this major.
Maximilian: It didn't occur to you that this was corruption?
Barry: Oh no. We recorded the donation and kept receipts.
Maximilian: Yes, I can believe that you would have too. So what are we going to do about this?
Barry: I think we should crack down on this man and his associates.
Maximilian: I agree. We can't afford to let him get his way. Spend what you need from the treasury. We will use the money this man gave us to help put an end to the corruption he has created.
Barry: We'll get right to it.
Maximilian: Good. Inform the stable master I will be back in an hour or so ...
Maximilian turns and begins to ride away from Vienna, towards the nearby forest.
Bruce: Shouldn't someone come with you?
Maximilian: *Over his shoulder* I'll be fine!
Barry: *shrugs* We're not paid to be bodyguards, Bruce. Lets go.
As Bruce and Barry turn back towards the walls Vienna, a small mound infront of them rolls back and the narrator appears from a hidey-hole under the layer of grass. Bruce and Barry look startled, but not surprised to see him.
Narrator: Barry and Bruce spend a total of 100 ducats investigating the Legitimate Businessmen, including a small sum to provide personal protection for them. The investigation is very rigourous, and a number of genuine businesses were inconvenienced. The entire Austrian economy was slowed as Bruce and Barry struggled to bring the Legitimate Businessmen to justice. Eventually, Barry found a number of anomalies on their income tax returns. The man who had dealt with Bruce and Barry was identified as Vito Grollo. He was sentenced to five years imprisonment for tax fraud. He was also found to have entered the country illegally, so after he had served his time he was deported back to Naples, the country of his birth.
...
January 12, 1508
Scene: The library. Bruce is playing wargames, using inkpots as soldiers. Just as he is moving his cavalry forwards, a rope drops to the floor next to him and the narrator rappels down from the ceiling. Bruce is startled and knocks over one of his soldiers. He swears under his breath and begins mopping up the ink.
Narrator: Austria continued with its pacifist policies over the next two years. So long had the period of peace been that the military alliance between Austria, Saxony, Mainz and Hungary was allowed to lapse in September 1506. Within a week, the Hungarians had formed a new alliance with their former enemies, Naples, Venice and the Papal States. The Austrians were not sad to see them go, and over the next two weeks, Bruce and Barry moved to form a new alliance with Mainz, Savoy and Saxony. Although none of these partners was as powerful as the Hungarians, they were also far less war-like.
Also on the diplomatic front, the relations between France and Austria continued to improve, as France agreed to join the League of Cambrai.
The narrator tugs on the rope and it detaches from the ceiling. He coils it up and slips out a side door as Barry enters.
Barry: Have you heard? Max has chosen a bunch of weavers to help him with his finances.
Bruce: Isn't that your job Barry?
Barry: I know.
Barry surveys the carnage of Bruce's battlefield.
Barry: And it would be easier to do my job if you left my paperwork alone.
Bruce: Sorry about that Barry, but the narrator guy was ... *Bruce looks around, and is surprised not to find the narrator* yeah, well, sorry.
Barry: *sighs* Anyway, the Fuggers are ...
Bruce: Barry!
Barry: What? The Fuggers ...
Bruce: Language, Barry!
Barry: No, seriously, thats their name. The Fuggers from Augsburg will be supporting the Austrian throne financially.
Bruce: Ohhh ... So the Fuggers will become merchant bankers? Does it make much difference?
Barry: Well, apparently they have huge resources, so the loans will be 500 ducats from now on.
Bruce: But we don't actually have any loans do we?
Barry: No, and I have worked flat out to avoid getting any. But we have to prepare for the possibility that we might need some.
Bruce: Don't we just go to the bank?
Barry: Banks haven't really been invented yet. Up until now, I would have approached the local business people, but the corruption scandal has made them a bit edgy.
Bruce: Fair enough. But it won't make much difference will it?
Barry: No, not really. We'll also get some extra merchants.
Bruce: We've already got more than we can use don't we?
Barry: Yeah. The best thing about the deal seems to be that the Fuggers have really excellent contacts, so the price of everything will be reduced by about 5%.
Bruce: Reduced?! Whats the catch?
Barry: Well, they need 100 ducats now to set things moving, but thats it.
Bruce: And you trust them?
Barry: *shrugs* I dunno. But Max does, so I guess I do too.
The Legitimate Businessmen were really dealt with that easily? They'll be back for sure. These Neapolitans will never be out of your hair...
