-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Thanks for your encouragement everyone.
Farquharson I am still working on getting some maps off someone. I also have good relations with Portugal, and its cheaper to bribe them, so I am working on them.
TreizeV I know ... it feels like a lot of effort for not much growth. Since I missed out on inheriting the netherlands, I am not counting on any inheritances to help me out. Hungary sure looks juicy though!
...
Chapter 5, Part I
In which the new emperor puts his foot down
Monarch: Karl V
Admin: 8
Dip: 8
Mil: 7
Aristocracy: 9
Centralisation: 9
Innovativeness: 6
Mercantilism: 9
Offensive: 4
Land: 8
Quality: 5
Serfdom: 7
January 30, 1520
Scene: The imperial throneroom in Vienna. The new emperor, Karl, and his brother Ferdinand are together, and both young men are consulting with Bruce and Barry.
Karl: I saw the foundations being laid for a manufactory when I passed through Emilia.
Barry: Yes, we started building a refinery there just over a year ago. After your wedding, but before Maximilian's body came back to Austria anyway.
Karl: Why didn't you wait for confirmation of Grandfather's death before starting the refinery? I may have preferred to spend the money elsewhere.
Barry: Before your grandfather left for your wedding, we agreed that the refinery needed to be built.
Karl: Why did you not start construction straight away then?
Barry: We didn't have the cash to pay for it.
Karl: So you used the gifts from my wedding to fund it?
Barry: Well ... in a manner of speaking ... All funds form a part of consolidated revenue, and government priorities are funded from a common pool of resources.
Karl: If I hadn't gotten married, would there have been enough money in this pool of money?
Barry: Probably not, no.
Karl: So rather than allowing me to live in the comfort that is expected of an emperor, you squandered the money building a refinery to make hard liquor for Italian peasants?
Barry: I wouldn't have said "squandered" ...
Karl: Despite all that, you didn't think to consult me?
Bruce: We were conscious of the fact that you have many responsibilities now. If you are to be King of Spain AND Archduke of Austria AND Holy Roman Emperor, then you will need to delegate responsibilities from time to time - to your brother at least, if you will not trust our judgement.
Karl: Perhaps ... Ferdinand, did you approve this decision?
Ferdinand: *shrugs* Of course. It was the best use for the money.
Karl: All right then. I suppose it is acceptable. And you are right, I do have a lot of responsibilities now. I have been talking with Ferdinand, and it occurs to me that I will need some help to rule so many different countries. So I have instituted the Hofhanzlei, Hofhanmer and Hofrat. They should reduce the power of the aristocracy and focus the government here in Vienna without upsetting the remoter provinces too much.
OOC: Hofhanzlei, Hofhanmer and Hofrat event. Chose: Create new functions.
Revolt risk in Lombardia -6, Centralisation +1, Aristocracy -2, Serfdom -1,
Innovativeness +1, Stab -1, Trade +500, Infra +500
I try hard to explain events in the dialogue, but there were just too many effects from this event.
Bruce: *to Barry* Do you know what those Hof words mean?
Barry shrugs slightly.
Karl: In addition, although I will be ruling the empire from Vienna, I will often need to travel to other parts. At those times I will leave Ferdinand in charge here in Austria. You two *glaring at Bruce and Barry* are not to make any decisions without consulting with him. He has royal blood. You do not, so his decisions are to be obeyed.
Barry: Of course, my lord.
Karl: And I will be involved in all decision when I am in Austria. Clear?
Bruce and Barry together: Yes, sir.
...
June 1521
Scene: The Emperor's private chapel, a small room near to the imperial throneroom. Karl is praying at the altar. Bruce and Barry wait politely at the door for the emperor to acknowledge them. Meanwhile, the narrator steps softly out of the shadows at the back of the chapel.
Narrator: The Emperor remained in his German lands for most of 1520. In June of that year, Wurzburg accepted an offer of vassalisation, but Savoy rejected a similar offer. In October, the Austrian army's engineers corps demonstrated their latest advances, which permitted the construction of more powerful fortresses. Bruce was quick to point out that these new walls were incredibly expensive, and unlikely to be built anywhere except the most strategic outposts.
The Austrian empire remained quiet for the remainder of 1520, giving Karl the opportunity to turn his attention to his Spanish lands. However, in his absence a protest movement against the worst excesses of the church formed in many regions within the Holy Roman Empire, and in other parts of Europe. Finally, in June of 1521, it became clear that this was more than just a simple protest movement. Having returned to Vienna, Karl summoned Bruce and Barry to advise him on this turn of events.
The emperor rises from his prayers and joins Bruce and Barry at the entrace to the chapel
Karl: The church has been pestering me to do something about this chap Martin Luther. Do you two know anything about him?
Bruce: We've never met him, of course, but I hear he's been nailing things up all over the place.
Karl: Yes. Blasphemous things from what I hear. We should burn him at the stake!
Barry: Errr ... That might be a slight over-reaction ...
Karl: Why? We do it all the time in Spain.
Barry: That runs the risk of turning him into a martyr for his cause.
Karl: I suppose that could happen. Can't we throw him in prison then? That will stop him spreading his ideas at least.
Barry: It may be too late for that. Apparently people have been printing copies of the statements and distributing them around the place.
Bruce: And, apart from anything else, he's living in Saxony at the moment, so it might be ... awkward ... for us to arrest him.
Karl: We could put pressure on the Saxons to arrest him though.
Bruce: We could, but ... My lord, do we really care what he does? He is protesting against the church, not the way the country is run, so its not really our problem is it?
Karl: Let me explain this very clearly. As Emperor, I am one of the two most figures in the church. There have been some debates about whether I am in charge or the pope is in charge, but either way, at least a part of my authority comes from the church. I am God's appointed ruler. Questioning the church is to question God himself. And questioning God leads to questions about my right to rule. At best, that will weaken the authority I wield in the empire. At worst, men such as this Luther will force God to punish us all. And God help us all if the Black Death returns to Europe.
Barry: You don't seriously believe that stuff about God raining down terror to punish the sinners do you?
Karl: *stares at Barry* It might happen ... but, no I think it is unlikely. However, what you and I believe will not matter. The important point is this; an attack on the curch is an attack on the basis of my authority, and cannot be ignored. We must nip it in the bud.
Barry: It might be too late to do that. Luther's teachings have spread like wildfire. Many parts of Europe, including provinces within the Empire have large numbers of people who have responded to his message.
Karl: How many people? Tens? Hundreds?
Barry: Err ... In some places it is simpler if you think of the whole area as being protestant.
Karl: So many? That will make our job much more difficult.
Bruce: What job is that?
Karl: It is our duty, my duty, I should say, as the Emperor, crowned by the Pope, to ensure that my people follow the teachings of the church. ALL of my people! We must stamp out this "protestant" strain of Christianity. Figure out how this can be done.
Bruce: We'll do out best ...
Bruce and Barry bow and leave the room. On the way down the corridor, Barry is looking troubled.
Barry: Err ... Bruce. There is just one thing.
Bruce: Whats that?
Barry: What religion are you?
Bruce: *shrugs* Catholic, I guess. At least my parents were. I never really thought about it.
Barry: Well, I'm not. I'm C of E.
Bruce: So?
Barry: So that makes me a protestant!
Bruce: Well, right at the moment, Karl is only worried about Lutherans. England is still a Catholic country, so the Church in England is still Catholic, so you're still Catholic.
Barry: I'm pretty sure that being Anglican is not the same as being Catholic.
Bruce: Its not the same as being Lutheran either, is it?
Barry: Nooo ...
Bruce: So let's burn that bridge when we get to it, OK?
Barry: I guess.
Farquharson I am still working on getting some maps off someone. I also have good relations with Portugal, and its cheaper to bribe them, so I am working on them.
TreizeV I know ... it feels like a lot of effort for not much growth. Since I missed out on inheriting the netherlands, I am not counting on any inheritances to help me out. Hungary sure looks juicy though!
...
Chapter 5, Part I
In which the new emperor puts his foot down
Monarch: Karl V
Admin: 8
Dip: 8
Mil: 7
Aristocracy: 9
Centralisation: 9
Innovativeness: 6
Mercantilism: 9
Offensive: 4
Land: 8
Quality: 5
Serfdom: 7
January 30, 1520
Scene: The imperial throneroom in Vienna. The new emperor, Karl, and his brother Ferdinand are together, and both young men are consulting with Bruce and Barry.
Karl: I saw the foundations being laid for a manufactory when I passed through Emilia.
Barry: Yes, we started building a refinery there just over a year ago. After your wedding, but before Maximilian's body came back to Austria anyway.
Karl: Why didn't you wait for confirmation of Grandfather's death before starting the refinery? I may have preferred to spend the money elsewhere.
Barry: Before your grandfather left for your wedding, we agreed that the refinery needed to be built.
Karl: Why did you not start construction straight away then?
Barry: We didn't have the cash to pay for it.
Karl: So you used the gifts from my wedding to fund it?
Barry: Well ... in a manner of speaking ... All funds form a part of consolidated revenue, and government priorities are funded from a common pool of resources.
Karl: If I hadn't gotten married, would there have been enough money in this pool of money?
Barry: Probably not, no.
Karl: So rather than allowing me to live in the comfort that is expected of an emperor, you squandered the money building a refinery to make hard liquor for Italian peasants?
Barry: I wouldn't have said "squandered" ...
Karl: Despite all that, you didn't think to consult me?
Bruce: We were conscious of the fact that you have many responsibilities now. If you are to be King of Spain AND Archduke of Austria AND Holy Roman Emperor, then you will need to delegate responsibilities from time to time - to your brother at least, if you will not trust our judgement.
Karl: Perhaps ... Ferdinand, did you approve this decision?
Ferdinand: *shrugs* Of course. It was the best use for the money.
Karl: All right then. I suppose it is acceptable. And you are right, I do have a lot of responsibilities now. I have been talking with Ferdinand, and it occurs to me that I will need some help to rule so many different countries. So I have instituted the Hofhanzlei, Hofhanmer and Hofrat. They should reduce the power of the aristocracy and focus the government here in Vienna without upsetting the remoter provinces too much.
OOC: Hofhanzlei, Hofhanmer and Hofrat event. Chose: Create new functions.
Revolt risk in Lombardia -6, Centralisation +1, Aristocracy -2, Serfdom -1,
Innovativeness +1, Stab -1, Trade +500, Infra +500
I try hard to explain events in the dialogue, but there were just too many effects from this event.
Bruce: *to Barry* Do you know what those Hof words mean?
Barry shrugs slightly.
Karl: In addition, although I will be ruling the empire from Vienna, I will often need to travel to other parts. At those times I will leave Ferdinand in charge here in Austria. You two *glaring at Bruce and Barry* are not to make any decisions without consulting with him. He has royal blood. You do not, so his decisions are to be obeyed.
Barry: Of course, my lord.
Karl: And I will be involved in all decision when I am in Austria. Clear?
Bruce and Barry together: Yes, sir.
...
June 1521
Scene: The Emperor's private chapel, a small room near to the imperial throneroom. Karl is praying at the altar. Bruce and Barry wait politely at the door for the emperor to acknowledge them. Meanwhile, the narrator steps softly out of the shadows at the back of the chapel.
Narrator: The Emperor remained in his German lands for most of 1520. In June of that year, Wurzburg accepted an offer of vassalisation, but Savoy rejected a similar offer. In October, the Austrian army's engineers corps demonstrated their latest advances, which permitted the construction of more powerful fortresses. Bruce was quick to point out that these new walls were incredibly expensive, and unlikely to be built anywhere except the most strategic outposts.
The Austrian empire remained quiet for the remainder of 1520, giving Karl the opportunity to turn his attention to his Spanish lands. However, in his absence a protest movement against the worst excesses of the church formed in many regions within the Holy Roman Empire, and in other parts of Europe. Finally, in June of 1521, it became clear that this was more than just a simple protest movement. Having returned to Vienna, Karl summoned Bruce and Barry to advise him on this turn of events.
The emperor rises from his prayers and joins Bruce and Barry at the entrace to the chapel
Karl: The church has been pestering me to do something about this chap Martin Luther. Do you two know anything about him?
Bruce: We've never met him, of course, but I hear he's been nailing things up all over the place.
Karl: Yes. Blasphemous things from what I hear. We should burn him at the stake!
Barry: Errr ... That might be a slight over-reaction ...
Karl: Why? We do it all the time in Spain.
Barry: That runs the risk of turning him into a martyr for his cause.
Karl: I suppose that could happen. Can't we throw him in prison then? That will stop him spreading his ideas at least.
Barry: It may be too late for that. Apparently people have been printing copies of the statements and distributing them around the place.
Bruce: And, apart from anything else, he's living in Saxony at the moment, so it might be ... awkward ... for us to arrest him.
Karl: We could put pressure on the Saxons to arrest him though.
Bruce: We could, but ... My lord, do we really care what he does? He is protesting against the church, not the way the country is run, so its not really our problem is it?
Karl: Let me explain this very clearly. As Emperor, I am one of the two most figures in the church. There have been some debates about whether I am in charge or the pope is in charge, but either way, at least a part of my authority comes from the church. I am God's appointed ruler. Questioning the church is to question God himself. And questioning God leads to questions about my right to rule. At best, that will weaken the authority I wield in the empire. At worst, men such as this Luther will force God to punish us all. And God help us all if the Black Death returns to Europe.
Barry: You don't seriously believe that stuff about God raining down terror to punish the sinners do you?
Karl: *stares at Barry* It might happen ... but, no I think it is unlikely. However, what you and I believe will not matter. The important point is this; an attack on the curch is an attack on the basis of my authority, and cannot be ignored. We must nip it in the bud.
Barry: It might be too late to do that. Luther's teachings have spread like wildfire. Many parts of Europe, including provinces within the Empire have large numbers of people who have responded to his message.
Karl: How many people? Tens? Hundreds?
Barry: Err ... In some places it is simpler if you think of the whole area as being protestant.
Karl: So many? That will make our job much more difficult.
Bruce: What job is that?
Karl: It is our duty, my duty, I should say, as the Emperor, crowned by the Pope, to ensure that my people follow the teachings of the church. ALL of my people! We must stamp out this "protestant" strain of Christianity. Figure out how this can be done.
Bruce: We'll do out best ...
Bruce and Barry bow and leave the room. On the way down the corridor, Barry is looking troubled.
Barry: Err ... Bruce. There is just one thing.
Bruce: Whats that?
Barry: What religion are you?
Bruce: *shrugs* Catholic, I guess. At least my parents were. I never really thought about it.
Barry: Well, I'm not. I'm C of E.
Bruce: So?
Barry: So that makes me a protestant!
Bruce: Well, right at the moment, Karl is only worried about Lutherans. England is still a Catholic country, so the Church in England is still Catholic, so you're still Catholic.
Barry: I'm pretty sure that being Anglican is not the same as being Catholic.
Bruce: Its not the same as being Lutheran either, is it?
Barry: Nooo ...
Bruce: So let's burn that bridge when we get to it, OK?
Barry: I guess.
No rest for the wicked, is there? I liked B&B's attitude to the intricacies of seventeenth-century religious politics (and I loved the Catherine of Aragon reference a few posts back 
). Some of their slider choices surprised me though - Aristocracy 9 doesn't sound very Australian, and surely they'll need more of a naval focus if they're ever going to get back there?
Looking at the map, that's the biggest Magdeburg I have ever seen - and is that Aquitaine making a bid for freedom in South-West France?
The narrator seems to be concentrating more on politics than wildlife these days - is this a bad sign?
). Some of their slider choices surprised me though - Aristocracy 9 doesn't sound very Australian, and surely they'll need more of a naval focus if they're ever going to get back there?Looking at the map, that's the biggest Magdeburg I have ever seen - and is that Aquitaine making a bid for freedom in South-West France?
The narrator seems to be concentrating more on politics than wildlife these days - is this a bad sign?
Sorry for the delay again folks. merrick's comments on the sliders got me thinking, and I realised that the path I had taken in playing ahead didn't really match my original goals in the game. So I took things from where I left them and played things differently now. Things aren't going as well as they did last time round, but its more fun - for me anyway.
Its the independent nation of Guyenne wedged between France and Spain. I'd never seen it before. Magdeburg is a whopper, isn't it? I expect they'll disintegrate when the Dutch provinces make their bid for independence, but they are definitely having a moment in the sun.
...
Chapter 5, Part II
In which the protestants must be stopped
June 2, 1522
Scene: The allies wing of the dungeon. No guards are in sight, and most of the cells doors are slightly ajar. Bruce and Barry are making their way down the corridor.
Bruce: Hey Barry, lets just pop in and see Jimmy the Spaniard first, OK?
Barry: *quietly* Do we have to? He's always so ...
Bruce: Up himself? Yeah, I know. I'm sure the Saxons won't mind waiting.
Bruce and Barry enter an extremely spacious cell. The occupant of the cell, a dark-haired man with a proud bearing, is seated at a table, aparently drawing something that looks vaguely like a map on a piece of paper. As Bruce and Barry enter, he quickly rolls up the paper and places it inside his clothing.
Bruce: Hi Jimmy. How's it going?
Jimenez de Soto: *haughtily* My name is pronounced "Himinay" I would thank you to get it right.
Bruce: OK, sorry about that. Anyway, are you willing to share your maps with us?
Jimenez de Soto: No.
Bruce: Come on Jim ... err Himinay ... relations between Spain and Austria couldn't be better. We share the same king for crying out loud! Show us your maps and we'll show you ours.
Jimenez: We have no interest in your maps, and we are suspicious of your interest in ours. We will not hold it against you that you asked, but we will not share our maps.
Bruce: *shrugs* I guess thats how it will be then.
Bruce and Barry leave the cell.
Barry: See ya Jimmy! ... You know Bruce, I reckon he has a map on him. We could always take it off him.
Bruce: Yeah, I think he has one too. But I bet its not a real one. He's baiting us with it. We need talk him into handing over the real one. We'll keep trying. Now lets see what the Saxons want.
Bruce and Barry enter another cell. This one is less spacious than the Spanish Ambassador's cell. In it is the latest Saxon ambassador, a tall blonde man with a bland looking face.
Bruce: You wanted to see us Mr Ambassador.
Saxon Ambassador: I do have a name you know. My father was always most disappointed that you never bothered to learn his name.
Barry: OK ... Who was your father?
Saxon Ambassador: He was the previous ambassador from Saxony. I am sure you would have met him.
Bruce: Hmmm ... Let me think ... Tall man, blonde, with a fascination for fruit cake?
Saxon Ambassador: *nods* Thats Daddy, yes!
Bruce: I remember him now. So was that why you asked to see us?
Saxon Ambassador: You don't want to know my name? *looks disappointed*
Bruce: Is that why you asked to see us?
Saxon Ambassador: No
Bruce: *shrugs* Then not really, no. What is it you want?
Saxon Ambassador: I am afraid I must tell you that the entire Saxon royal family has converted to Lutheranism.
Barry: Thats going to upset Karl, but, between you and me, I don't think religion is that big a deal.
Saxon Ambassador: Also, it has been decided that the Saxon people can no longer remain under the Papist yoke.
Bruce: Meaning?
Saxon Ambassador: *looks nervous* Maybe you not knowing my name is for the best after all ... Meaning that we will be cancelling our vassalisation with Austria.
Bruce: That is going to be a problem. Watch him Barry!
Bruce makes his way to the door fo the cell and calls for some guards. Four big men dressed in black arrive.
Bruce: Take this man to the traitor's wing!
Guard: We don't have one, guv. But there's plent of room in the enemies wing at the moment, what with us being at peace and all.
Bruce: Take him there then. I'm sure it will be accurate soon enough.
The guards manhandle the unprotesting ambassador out of the cells and drag him off down the corridor.
...
September 1523
Secene: The archducal throneroom. The emperor is looking young, fit and tanned as he waits for Bruce and Barry to arrive. He is dressed in extravagant fashion, with what appears to be a small stuffed bird decorating a sash across his chest. In the corner of the throneroom, the narrator is sitting inside a small, dull coloured tent with a single slit in one side. The narrator has binoculars trained on the stuffed bird on Karl's chest.
Narrator: *whispering* Bruce's prediction of impending conflict between Saxony and Austria proved correct. Austria declared war on her former ally in September of 1522, marking the start of what would be known as the Austrian Religious Wars. Although the people of many regions were sympathetic to Luther's views, at this stage Saxony was the only nation ruled by Protestants, and the Austrians fought to make an example of Saxony and to prevent Luther's teachings being taken up elsewhere.
Austria's allies were not as committed to this cause as the emperor was, and both Wurtemburg and Savoy dishonoured their alliance with Austria, leaving only Wurzburg and Austria to fight the Saxons. A Saxon army immediately invaded the province of Wurzburg, easily deafeating the army stationed there. The Austrian general, von Frundsberg, gathered an army in Mainz, while the remnants of the Wurzburgian army also fled to Mainz.
Bruce and Barry hurry into the throneroom
Barry: I understand congratulations are in order, my lord?
Karl: I suppose so. Caterina gave birth to little Felipe nearly 15 months ago now. It is good to have an heir.
Bruce: What about Ferdinand?
Karl: The Spanish wanted Caterina's son. And now that the boy is past his first birthday, everything is stable in Spain, so I am here to see how things are going. In particular, I am worried about the blasphemous teachings of Luther, and the hold they have over the Saxons. I hope you two have good news for me!
Barry: I think we do. With the war raging against Saxony, we have been able to raise war taxes. A lot of money has come in.
Karl: What about the war itself?
Barry: Oh, I'm sure thats going well too ...
Bruce: As you know, your imperialness, von Frundsberg was defeated by the Saxons twice. Once in September last year, and then again in May. With the extra money that has been raised through the war taxes, we have strengthened his army, and he finally defeteade the Saxons on August 21. The siege on Wurzburg is over, and even now von Frundsberg is marching to beiege Anhalt.
Von Fundsberg looks grim after being defeated by the Saxons twice.
Karl: About time. We've had a year of warfare and we're only just invading our enemies. Its not very efficient.
Bruce: The old general is outstanding at siege warfare, my lord. I am sure matters will proceed more quickly now.
Karl: Good. Now, while I remember, I was impressed with how well you organised my wedding, so I have decided you two should organise a wedding between my cousin Albert and a lady from the Teutonic Order.
Barry: Errr ... Do the Teutonic Order even have female members?
Karl: Well, not in the order itself, of course, but the knights have wives and daughters. Albert has his eye on a daughter of one of the senior knights.
Barry: We have got a war to run. Can't Albert sort out his love life?
Karl: Yes, yes. And I have two countries to run and a baby to look after. But someone needs to make sure this is handled delicately. You have five years, surely you can manage a wedding sometime in that time.
Bruce: *bows* Of course.
Its the independent nation of Guyenne wedged between France and Spain. I'd never seen it before.
Magdeburg is a whopper, isn't it? I expect they'll disintegrate when the Dutch provinces make their bid for independence, but they are definitely having a moment in the sun....
Chapter 5, Part II
In which the protestants must be stopped
June 2, 1522
Scene: The allies wing of the dungeon. No guards are in sight, and most of the cells doors are slightly ajar. Bruce and Barry are making their way down the corridor.
Bruce: Hey Barry, lets just pop in and see Jimmy the Spaniard first, OK?
Barry: *quietly* Do we have to? He's always so ...
Bruce: Up himself? Yeah, I know. I'm sure the Saxons won't mind waiting.
Bruce and Barry enter an extremely spacious cell. The occupant of the cell, a dark-haired man with a proud bearing, is seated at a table, aparently drawing something that looks vaguely like a map on a piece of paper. As Bruce and Barry enter, he quickly rolls up the paper and places it inside his clothing.
Bruce: Hi Jimmy. How's it going?
Jimenez de Soto: *haughtily* My name is pronounced "Himinay" I would thank you to get it right.
Bruce: OK, sorry about that. Anyway, are you willing to share your maps with us?
Jimenez de Soto: No.
Bruce: Come on Jim ... err Himinay ... relations between Spain and Austria couldn't be better. We share the same king for crying out loud! Show us your maps and we'll show you ours.
Jimenez: We have no interest in your maps, and we are suspicious of your interest in ours. We will not hold it against you that you asked, but we will not share our maps.
Bruce: *shrugs* I guess thats how it will be then.
Bruce and Barry leave the cell.
Barry: See ya Jimmy! ... You know Bruce, I reckon he has a map on him. We could always take it off him.
Bruce: Yeah, I think he has one too. But I bet its not a real one. He's baiting us with it. We need talk him into handing over the real one. We'll keep trying. Now lets see what the Saxons want.
Bruce and Barry enter another cell. This one is less spacious than the Spanish Ambassador's cell. In it is the latest Saxon ambassador, a tall blonde man with a bland looking face.
Bruce: You wanted to see us Mr Ambassador.
Saxon Ambassador: I do have a name you know. My father was always most disappointed that you never bothered to learn his name.
Barry: OK ... Who was your father?
Saxon Ambassador: He was the previous ambassador from Saxony. I am sure you would have met him.
Bruce: Hmmm ... Let me think ... Tall man, blonde, with a fascination for fruit cake?
Saxon Ambassador: *nods* Thats Daddy, yes!
Bruce: I remember him now. So was that why you asked to see us?
Saxon Ambassador: You don't want to know my name? *looks disappointed*
Bruce: Is that why you asked to see us?
Saxon Ambassador: No
Bruce: *shrugs* Then not really, no. What is it you want?
Saxon Ambassador: I am afraid I must tell you that the entire Saxon royal family has converted to Lutheranism.
Barry: Thats going to upset Karl, but, between you and me, I don't think religion is that big a deal.
Saxon Ambassador: Also, it has been decided that the Saxon people can no longer remain under the Papist yoke.
Bruce: Meaning?
Saxon Ambassador: *looks nervous* Maybe you not knowing my name is for the best after all ... Meaning that we will be cancelling our vassalisation with Austria.
Bruce: That is going to be a problem. Watch him Barry!
Bruce makes his way to the door fo the cell and calls for some guards. Four big men dressed in black arrive.
Bruce: Take this man to the traitor's wing!
Guard: We don't have one, guv. But there's plent of room in the enemies wing at the moment, what with us being at peace and all.
Bruce: Take him there then. I'm sure it will be accurate soon enough.
The guards manhandle the unprotesting ambassador out of the cells and drag him off down the corridor.
...
September 1523
Secene: The archducal throneroom. The emperor is looking young, fit and tanned as he waits for Bruce and Barry to arrive. He is dressed in extravagant fashion, with what appears to be a small stuffed bird decorating a sash across his chest. In the corner of the throneroom, the narrator is sitting inside a small, dull coloured tent with a single slit in one side. The narrator has binoculars trained on the stuffed bird on Karl's chest.
Narrator: *whispering* Bruce's prediction of impending conflict between Saxony and Austria proved correct. Austria declared war on her former ally in September of 1522, marking the start of what would be known as the Austrian Religious Wars. Although the people of many regions were sympathetic to Luther's views, at this stage Saxony was the only nation ruled by Protestants, and the Austrians fought to make an example of Saxony and to prevent Luther's teachings being taken up elsewhere.
Austria's allies were not as committed to this cause as the emperor was, and both Wurtemburg and Savoy dishonoured their alliance with Austria, leaving only Wurzburg and Austria to fight the Saxons. A Saxon army immediately invaded the province of Wurzburg, easily deafeating the army stationed there. The Austrian general, von Frundsberg, gathered an army in Mainz, while the remnants of the Wurzburgian army also fled to Mainz.
Bruce and Barry hurry into the throneroom
Barry: I understand congratulations are in order, my lord?
Karl: I suppose so. Caterina gave birth to little Felipe nearly 15 months ago now. It is good to have an heir.
Bruce: What about Ferdinand?
Karl: The Spanish wanted Caterina's son. And now that the boy is past his first birthday, everything is stable in Spain, so I am here to see how things are going. In particular, I am worried about the blasphemous teachings of Luther, and the hold they have over the Saxons. I hope you two have good news for me!
Barry: I think we do. With the war raging against Saxony, we have been able to raise war taxes. A lot of money has come in.
Karl: What about the war itself?
Barry: Oh, I'm sure thats going well too ...
Bruce: As you know, your imperialness, von Frundsberg was defeated by the Saxons twice. Once in September last year, and then again in May. With the extra money that has been raised through the war taxes, we have strengthened his army, and he finally defeteade the Saxons on August 21. The siege on Wurzburg is over, and even now von Frundsberg is marching to beiege Anhalt.
Von Fundsberg looks grim after being defeated by the Saxons twice.
Karl: About time. We've had a year of warfare and we're only just invading our enemies. Its not very efficient.
Bruce: The old general is outstanding at siege warfare, my lord. I am sure matters will proceed more quickly now.
Karl: Good. Now, while I remember, I was impressed with how well you organised my wedding, so I have decided you two should organise a wedding between my cousin Albert and a lady from the Teutonic Order.
Barry: Errr ... Do the Teutonic Order even have female members?
Karl: Well, not in the order itself, of course, but the knights have wives and daughters. Albert has his eye on a daughter of one of the senior knights.
Barry: We have got a war to run. Can't Albert sort out his love life?
Karl: Yes, yes. And I have two countries to run and a baby to look after. But someone needs to make sure this is handled delicately. You have five years, surely you can manage a wedding sometime in that time.
Bruce: *bows* Of course.
Great! It's nice to see Bruce and Barry back in action. I really liked your interpretation of the failed map sharing request with de Soto. I'll be really impressed if you manage to get them to share maps with you. I don't think I've ever succeeded in that, so I don't even try anymore. I wish for you better fortune. Maybe having the same King will help, but I doubt it.
Come to think of it, would the Portuguese maps be more relevant to finding a route to Australia? Of course they probably won't share maps either...
Come to think of it, would the Portuguese maps be more relevant to finding a route to Australia? Of course they probably won't share maps either...
The Portuguese maps would probably be better, but my relations with them aren't as good as with the Spanish. I have the Spanish at +200 now, but no alliance.
If worst comes to worst, I can always declare war on one of the colonial powers and try to steal their maps.
...
Chapter 5, Part III
In which the fruitcake comes to an end
December 28, 1524
Scene: Snow covered fields outside the smoking ruins of the city walls of Dresden. On a low rise a band of Austrian military leaders and priests are waiting while a party approaches from the city itself. Lower down the rise, the narrator is observing a small white dot in the distance.
Narrator: Ever the opportunist, the arctic fox was a frequent sight around the battlefields of the early modern period. Superbly adapted to survive the rigours of a freezing winter, the fox is able to find plenty of food, as human fighters, less well-adapted to the conditions, succumb to the cold.
Two Austrian soldiers creep up behind the fox, intent on its food. With quick fluid motions one of them grabs the fox, while the other deftly slits it throat.
Narrator: Of course, for desparate men, the foxes themselves are a source of food, and their white pelts are highly valued, so the life of a battlefield scavenger like this one is fraught with danger. This particular area is losing its attraction for the foxes even as we speak. The Austrian army *the narrator sweeps his arm around, indicating a ragged looking group of men surrounding the city* have just captured the Saxon capital of Dresden, and some sort of peace treaty is no doubt imminent.
In the distance, the soldiers begin skinning their prey. Meanwhile, the party from the arrives, led by a grey-haired man. Bruce bows to this man.
Bruce: Elector Friedrich. Your reputation has preceded you ...
Friedrich: It has? Thats good!
Bruce: But of course. All have heard of Elector Friedrich der Wiese of Saxony. But tell me, why are you named after a meadow?
Friedrich looks puzzled and slightly insulted. A Saxon advisor steps in.
Saxon Advisor: I think there may be some confusion. This is Elector Friedrich der Weise, that is Friedrich the Wise, not Friedrich the Meadow.
Bruce: Ohhh ... Its still doesn't make sense, but its not quite as ... abstract ... now.
Saxon Advisor: *nods* It is somewhat of an ironic appellation, my lord.
One of Elector Friedrich's more successful attempts at a self-portrait.
Bruce: I would think so. *turning back to Friedrich* Would you like some fruit cake?
Friedrich: Is it Austrian fruit cake? Thats the best!
Bruce hands over some fruit cake.
Bruce: It has been made by Austrians, of course, but the ingredients are not of the top quality that we find in Austria, so it will be sadly inferior. Of course, if we could reach a peace deal, we could ship in the best quality fruit cake ...
Friedrich: Where do I sign?
Saxon Advisor: Err ... My lord, perhaps you should find out the conditions of the treaty first?
Friedrich: Ohh ... Yes, I suppose so. Am I out of a job?
Bruce: Not at all. However, we are concerned at the spread of Lutheranism in your lands. *All of the Austrian party turn to look at the priest accompanying the Saxon party.* We think that if you were to publicly renounce the faith, this would have a great influence on your people.
Friedrich: I am not a young man. I must make peace with God soon ...
Bruce: Why not do so in the traditional way?
Friedrich: Very well. I will do it. *Turning to the priest* You! Shoo! Go away! Anything else?
Bruce: Austria will take over the province of Anhalt. This has been a hotbed for Lutheranism, and we believe that the Austrian church has the resources to deal with it.
Friedrich: That will cut my nation in half!
Bruce: We can just kick you out, and take the whole lot.
Friedrich: *sighs* True. Will there be fruit cake?
Bruce: A lifetime's supply, my lord.
Friedrich: Very well. You have a deal.
...
June 20, 1526
Scene: The city gates of Vienna. A small group of Austrian soldiers is approaching the gates, with Bruce at its head. Travelling by Bruce's side is the proud figure of Jiminez de Soto. When the group reach the gates, the guards wait while Jiminez dismounts and search him for weapons. Meanwhile,Barry approaches Bruce from the shadows of the gate.
Barry: You took your time getting back from Dresden!
Bruce: Miss me did ya Barry? Yeah, well, I didn't miss much did I?
Barry: They discovered some new mineral in Steiermark, which will help the economy, but thats about it. What have you been up to?
Bruce: Well, not long after I left Saxony, poor old Fred carked it, so I had to pop back for the funeral.
Barry: He had converted back to Catholicism by then, though, right?
Bruce: Oh yeah. And with all the Austrian priests around, the new prince, Johann, wasn't game to change things too much, regardless of what he really thinks. But no need to keep sending the fruit cakes up. Remind me to cancel them.
Barry: So what then?
Bruce: Well, I got Karl to send Jiminez up for the funeral.
Barry: I thought I saw him in your party. Any luck getting the Spanish maps out of him?
Bruce: Not so far. That reminds me, its been a couple of months since I asked. *shouting* Jiminez! Will you share your maps with us?
Jiminez de Soto: *cupping his hand to his mouth and shouting back* Never!
Bruce: Just checking! *back to Barry* So anyway, since I had to travel through Wurtemburg and Wurzburg anyway, I sorted a few things out on the way back through. Going down to the dungeons all the time depresses me, so I talked to the rulers directly.
Barry: Fair enough. How'd you go?
Bruce: Well, we just about have the alliance back on an even keel now. Wurzburg accepted vassalisation in April last year, and we forgave and forgot and let Wurtemburg back in in December. Savoy refused to join again.
Barry: And Saxony? Are we letting them back in.
Bruce: Bad news with them. I've just heard that Saxony have joined an alliance with Spain, England, Sweden and Bohemia.
Barry: So?
Bruce: So?! The new Elector is not as dumb as Fred was, and if they convert back to Lutheranism, we'll have to fight all those powerful countries to get them to convert.
Barry: *gripping Bruce by the shoulders* Bruce! Snap out of it. You're not thinking straight.
Bruce: *takes a deep breath* No, its still bad.
Barry: Maybe, but not for the reasons you think. What happened when Saxony converted last time?
Bruce: They cancelled their vassalisation with us.
Barry: Yes, and ... ?
Bruce: *thinks, then realisation dawns* And the military alliance!
Barry: Exactly! As long as they stay good little Catholics, they can stay in the alliance, and we won't care, since Karl won't want us attacking them. But if the turn into Protestants, then they'll have to cancel the alliance, and we can attack them while they have no mates.
Bruce: Sweet! Oh yeah, I also sorted out that wedding between Cousin Albert and the Teutonic Order, so we should be right when the mission falls due.
Barry: Sounds like a busy trip. Good work.
Bruce and Barry make their way into the city, while a detachment of guards drag Jiminez back to his place in the dungeons.
If worst comes to worst, I can always declare war on one of the colonial powers and try to steal their maps.
...
Chapter 5, Part III
In which the fruitcake comes to an end
December 28, 1524
Scene: Snow covered fields outside the smoking ruins of the city walls of Dresden. On a low rise a band of Austrian military leaders and priests are waiting while a party approaches from the city itself. Lower down the rise, the narrator is observing a small white dot in the distance.
Narrator: Ever the opportunist, the arctic fox was a frequent sight around the battlefields of the early modern period. Superbly adapted to survive the rigours of a freezing winter, the fox is able to find plenty of food, as human fighters, less well-adapted to the conditions, succumb to the cold.
Two Austrian soldiers creep up behind the fox, intent on its food. With quick fluid motions one of them grabs the fox, while the other deftly slits it throat.
Narrator: Of course, for desparate men, the foxes themselves are a source of food, and their white pelts are highly valued, so the life of a battlefield scavenger like this one is fraught with danger. This particular area is losing its attraction for the foxes even as we speak. The Austrian army *the narrator sweeps his arm around, indicating a ragged looking group of men surrounding the city* have just captured the Saxon capital of Dresden, and some sort of peace treaty is no doubt imminent.
In the distance, the soldiers begin skinning their prey. Meanwhile, the party from the arrives, led by a grey-haired man. Bruce bows to this man.
Bruce: Elector Friedrich. Your reputation has preceded you ...
Friedrich: It has? Thats good!
Bruce: But of course. All have heard of Elector Friedrich der Wiese of Saxony. But tell me, why are you named after a meadow?
Friedrich looks puzzled and slightly insulted. A Saxon advisor steps in.
Saxon Advisor: I think there may be some confusion. This is Elector Friedrich der Weise, that is Friedrich the Wise, not Friedrich the Meadow.
Bruce: Ohhh ... Its still doesn't make sense, but its not quite as ... abstract ... now.
Saxon Advisor: *nods* It is somewhat of an ironic appellation, my lord.
One of Elector Friedrich's more successful attempts at a self-portrait.
Bruce: I would think so. *turning back to Friedrich* Would you like some fruit cake?
Friedrich: Is it Austrian fruit cake? Thats the best!
Bruce hands over some fruit cake.
Bruce: It has been made by Austrians, of course, but the ingredients are not of the top quality that we find in Austria, so it will be sadly inferior. Of course, if we could reach a peace deal, we could ship in the best quality fruit cake ...
Friedrich: Where do I sign?
Saxon Advisor: Err ... My lord, perhaps you should find out the conditions of the treaty first?
Friedrich: Ohh ... Yes, I suppose so. Am I out of a job?
Bruce: Not at all. However, we are concerned at the spread of Lutheranism in your lands. *All of the Austrian party turn to look at the priest accompanying the Saxon party.* We think that if you were to publicly renounce the faith, this would have a great influence on your people.
Friedrich: I am not a young man. I must make peace with God soon ...
Bruce: Why not do so in the traditional way?
Friedrich: Very well. I will do it. *Turning to the priest* You! Shoo! Go away! Anything else?
Bruce: Austria will take over the province of Anhalt. This has been a hotbed for Lutheranism, and we believe that the Austrian church has the resources to deal with it.
Friedrich: That will cut my nation in half!
Bruce: We can just kick you out, and take the whole lot.
Friedrich: *sighs* True. Will there be fruit cake?
Bruce: A lifetime's supply, my lord.
Friedrich: Very well. You have a deal.
...
June 20, 1526
Scene: The city gates of Vienna. A small group of Austrian soldiers is approaching the gates, with Bruce at its head. Travelling by Bruce's side is the proud figure of Jiminez de Soto. When the group reach the gates, the guards wait while Jiminez dismounts and search him for weapons. Meanwhile,Barry approaches Bruce from the shadows of the gate.
Barry: You took your time getting back from Dresden!
Bruce: Miss me did ya Barry? Yeah, well, I didn't miss much did I?
Barry: They discovered some new mineral in Steiermark, which will help the economy, but thats about it. What have you been up to?
Bruce: Well, not long after I left Saxony, poor old Fred carked it, so I had to pop back for the funeral.
Barry: He had converted back to Catholicism by then, though, right?
Bruce: Oh yeah. And with all the Austrian priests around, the new prince, Johann, wasn't game to change things too much, regardless of what he really thinks. But no need to keep sending the fruit cakes up. Remind me to cancel them.
Barry: So what then?
Bruce: Well, I got Karl to send Jiminez up for the funeral.
Barry: I thought I saw him in your party. Any luck getting the Spanish maps out of him?
Bruce: Not so far. That reminds me, its been a couple of months since I asked. *shouting* Jiminez! Will you share your maps with us?
Jiminez de Soto: *cupping his hand to his mouth and shouting back* Never!
Bruce: Just checking! *back to Barry* So anyway, since I had to travel through Wurtemburg and Wurzburg anyway, I sorted a few things out on the way back through. Going down to the dungeons all the time depresses me, so I talked to the rulers directly.
Barry: Fair enough. How'd you go?
Bruce: Well, we just about have the alliance back on an even keel now. Wurzburg accepted vassalisation in April last year, and we forgave and forgot and let Wurtemburg back in in December. Savoy refused to join again.
Barry: And Saxony? Are we letting them back in.
Bruce: Bad news with them. I've just heard that Saxony have joined an alliance with Spain, England, Sweden and Bohemia.
Barry: So?
Bruce: So?! The new Elector is not as dumb as Fred was, and if they convert back to Lutheranism, we'll have to fight all those powerful countries to get them to convert.
Barry: *gripping Bruce by the shoulders* Bruce! Snap out of it. You're not thinking straight.
Bruce: *takes a deep breath* No, its still bad.
Barry: Maybe, but not for the reasons you think. What happened when Saxony converted last time?
Bruce: They cancelled their vassalisation with us.
Barry: Yes, and ... ?
Bruce: *thinks, then realisation dawns* And the military alliance!
Barry: Exactly! As long as they stay good little Catholics, they can stay in the alliance, and we won't care, since Karl won't want us attacking them. But if the turn into Protestants, then they'll have to cancel the alliance, and we can attack them while they have no mates.
Bruce: Sweet! Oh yeah, I also sorted out that wedding between Cousin Albert and the Teutonic Order, so we should be right when the mission falls due.
Barry: Sounds like a busy trip. Good work.
Bruce and Barry make their way into the city, while a detachment of guards drag Jiminez back to his place in the dungeons.
Last edited:
Well it's good to see Bruce and Barry back in the swing! I hope they haven't abandoned dungeon diplomacy completely though. Regarding Portuguese maps - you said your relations aren't so good with them. Bad enough for a possible war and some stolen maps? Who are they allied with? Trouble is, that would mean having a decent navy. How is the Austrian Navy these days? Questions, questions!
A change is as good as a holiday when it comes to diplomacy, but Bruce and Barry will be back in the dungeons soon enough.
Relations with the Portuguese are about +50. The Austrian navy has 3 warships, 7 galleys and 2 transports. Not really enough to take on the Portuguese, I think, but it might be worth a try.
...
Chapter 5, Part IV
In which Austria inherits Protestants
September 1526
Scene: The library that Bruce and Barry have been gradually converting into their office. They are poring over a number of documents.
Bruce: Its a stroke of good luck King Louis of Bohemia and Hungary carking it like that. Karl and Ferdinand are still sorting out between themselves who is gonna run what, but however you look at it, its a win.
Barry: I heard Ferdinand is going to become King of Bohemia and Hungary, but they are both going to end up part of Austria?
Bruce: Thats the gist of it, yeah. We'll be running the whole show from Vienna, and Ferdinand will be answerable to Karl.
Barry: Hmmm ... there will be economies of scale if we just have a single central government. *nods* That makes sense to me, but why would Ferdinand want to do it this way?
Bruce: Karl and Ferdinand are very big on the family unity thing. But I think the real reason is that Ferdinand doesn't want to go and live in Hungary.
Barry: *suddenly worried* We're not going to have to go instead are we?
Bruce: *shrugs* We'll have to visit sometimes, probably. But we'll stay based here in Vienna.
Barry: Phew!
Bruce: The only catch is that the rest of Europe seem a bit wary of us now.
Barry: I can understand that. Is it a problem?
Bruce: I can't see the Spanish giving us their maps now.
Barry: It didn't seem like they were too keen to do it anyway, so its not a big deal.
Bruce: We need some sort of maps to get to Australia, Barry.
Barry: Well, since everybody hates us now, maybe we can fight a war against someone and steal their maps?
Bruce: Have you seen the navy lately, Barry? They'd struggle to fight their way out of a wet paper bag, let alone steal maps off one of the major naval power of the century.
Barry: Oh ... Well it was just a thought.
The map Bruce and Barry have been studying. Austria suddenly looks much Bigger, Whiter and Blobbier.
At this moment, the emperor himself enters the room unannounced. He spots the new map on the table.
Karl: Ahhh, good! I see you two been looking over the details of our new territories. This is going to more or less double the size of the empire here, so Ferdinand and I will be needing your help.
Bruce: We've been going through the records we have available to us.
Karl: Anything important you have spotted?
Bruce: The combined armies of Bohemia, Hungary and Austria are too big for us to support, my lord. Do I have your permission to disband some of the troops?
Karl: Very well, but do not disband any armies in Austria. If the idle troops are to make any trouble, I would prefer that it happens in the wilds of Hungary.
Bruce: Actually, I was thinking of disbanding the troops in Bohemia.
Karl: I understand the people there are Protestants?
Bruce: In the provinces of Bohemia, Silesia and Sudeten, my lord, yes.
Karl: We must do our best to convert them back ... but in the meantime, I would rather they suffer than the good Catholics in the rest of the country. Disband the armies there.
Bruce: No problem.
Karl: Anything else?
Barry: The new provinces are used to a more decentralised form of government. By absorbing Hungary and Bohemia, our overall government centralisation has decreased considerably.
Karl: That is unfortunate. How are the Hungarian provinces governed then?
Barry: The local aristocracy are very much used to getting their own way. They have powers that the Austrian nobility have not had in centuries.
Karl: We will fix that, no doubt. But for now, we must leave things as they are. No point in provoking a civil war. Not yet, anyway.
Barry: Will you be travelling to your new lands now?
Karl: Hmmm ... Winter is coming on, but perhaps I could squeeze in a visit ...
Bruce: Visiting Hungary has not always been safe for the Habsburgs, my lord ...
Karl: You are referring to my predecessor, the Archduke Albert, perhaps? *Bruces nods, slightly* Times have changed since then. The Hungarians have become much more civilised ... But, I am sure that there are matters requiring my attention in Spain. I should reassure my subjects there that my attention will not be diverted by these new lands of mine. All in all, perhaps it would be better to send Ferdinand and Anne. The Hungarians will surely recognise her as one of their own, even if they do not feel the same way about me or my brother.
Bruce: A wise choice, my lord.
Karl: You two should go with them, of course. Get the lit of the land and all that.
Barry: But ...
Karl: You can send your reports to me in Madrid. Enjoy your trip gentlemen.
...
October, 1528
Scene: The imperial thronerooom. Bruce and Barry are waiting for permission to enter. Meanwhile, the narrator is moving around the walls, tapping on them and then pressing his ear to the wall.
Narrator: Of course, wooden building, such as this one, that were common in the 16th century, were prone to a number of attacks. Termites were a particular concern, and prior to the invention of chemical pesticides, a number of folk remedies were used. Successfully in this case.
Attacks on the body politic were similarly feared, especially here in Austria. The Austrian Wars of Religion did not end with the subjugation of Saxony at the end of 1524, but a new phase began. The Habsburg inheritance of Bohemia, along with the addition of Anhalt to the realm, meant that there were now large numbers of Protestants within Austria's borders. Austrian troops, good Catholic troops, were sent to the most strongly Lutheran regions, and with them came missionaries, hired at great expense by the Austrian throne.
Despite these precautions, the Bohemian and Hungarian lands remained peaceful. Ferdinand's tour, accompanied by Bruce and Barry, proceeded uneventfully. In the autumn of 1528, Karl returned to Vienna, where he met with Bruce and Barry.
Barry: Its good to have you back in Austria, my lord.
Karl: I thought it best that I return for von Frundsberg's funeral. He was such a loyal servant of my father's, and of mine, in the last few years of course.
Bruce: I am sure his family appreciated it, my lord.
Barry: Before we go on, can I just mention, that I am not happy about the amount of money that is being spent sending missionaries all over the place?
Karl: Your objection is noted. And I have read your letters to the same effect. So many letters ... However, it is important that we stamp out Lutheranism as quickly as we can.
Barry: You'll never manage it.
Karl: Don't be so defeatist. If the missionaries don't work out we can always switch to simply rounding them all up and killing them.
Bruce: I really can't recommend that, my lord. If the Lutherans are going to be killed anyway, they will fight your troops tooth and nail. The whole of northern Germany will become blood bath.
Karl: *sighes* Yes, yes. I still think it would be the simplest solution, but I do see your point. If only Luther's teachings had not spread so widely ... We will keep funding the missionaries.
Bruce is relieved at that, but Barry continues to look unhappy.
Karl: Now, apart from the religious crisis, I asked you two here today to congratulate you on successfully arranging my cousin Albert's wedding.
Barry: Who?
Bruce: Albert. We found him a wife in the Teutonic Order.
Barry: Ohhh ... Well done us then, huh?
Karl: Quite. Since that went so well, I have decided to set you another diplomatic mission. I want you to vassalise Savoy.
Bruce: Err ... My lord, Savoy are no longer a part of our alliance.
Karl: Really? Oh, well, you'll just have to bring them back, won't you?
Bruce: They have formed a new alliance with Munster and Scotland. They have also annexed the Swiss.
Karl: Ahhh ... That is a little more challenging than I had intended it to be then. *Karl looks not at all worried by this discovery* But at least the Swiss are out of our hair for now. Oh well, best of luck!
Relations with the Portuguese are about +50. The Austrian navy has 3 warships, 7 galleys and 2 transports. Not really enough to take on the Portuguese, I think, but it might be worth a try.
...
Chapter 5, Part IV
In which Austria inherits Protestants
September 1526
Scene: The library that Bruce and Barry have been gradually converting into their office. They are poring over a number of documents.
Bruce: Its a stroke of good luck King Louis of Bohemia and Hungary carking it like that. Karl and Ferdinand are still sorting out between themselves who is gonna run what, but however you look at it, its a win.
Barry: I heard Ferdinand is going to become King of Bohemia and Hungary, but they are both going to end up part of Austria?
Bruce: Thats the gist of it, yeah. We'll be running the whole show from Vienna, and Ferdinand will be answerable to Karl.
Barry: Hmmm ... there will be economies of scale if we just have a single central government. *nods* That makes sense to me, but why would Ferdinand want to do it this way?
Bruce: Karl and Ferdinand are very big on the family unity thing. But I think the real reason is that Ferdinand doesn't want to go and live in Hungary.
Barry: *suddenly worried* We're not going to have to go instead are we?
Bruce: *shrugs* We'll have to visit sometimes, probably. But we'll stay based here in Vienna.
Barry: Phew!
Bruce: The only catch is that the rest of Europe seem a bit wary of us now.
Barry: I can understand that. Is it a problem?
Bruce: I can't see the Spanish giving us their maps now.
Barry: It didn't seem like they were too keen to do it anyway, so its not a big deal.
Bruce: We need some sort of maps to get to Australia, Barry.
Barry: Well, since everybody hates us now, maybe we can fight a war against someone and steal their maps?
Bruce: Have you seen the navy lately, Barry? They'd struggle to fight their way out of a wet paper bag, let alone steal maps off one of the major naval power of the century.
Barry: Oh ... Well it was just a thought.
The map Bruce and Barry have been studying. Austria suddenly looks much Bigger, Whiter and Blobbier.
At this moment, the emperor himself enters the room unannounced. He spots the new map on the table.
Karl: Ahhh, good! I see you two been looking over the details of our new territories. This is going to more or less double the size of the empire here, so Ferdinand and I will be needing your help.
Bruce: We've been going through the records we have available to us.
Karl: Anything important you have spotted?
Bruce: The combined armies of Bohemia, Hungary and Austria are too big for us to support, my lord. Do I have your permission to disband some of the troops?
Karl: Very well, but do not disband any armies in Austria. If the idle troops are to make any trouble, I would prefer that it happens in the wilds of Hungary.
Bruce: Actually, I was thinking of disbanding the troops in Bohemia.
Karl: I understand the people there are Protestants?
Bruce: In the provinces of Bohemia, Silesia and Sudeten, my lord, yes.
Karl: We must do our best to convert them back ... but in the meantime, I would rather they suffer than the good Catholics in the rest of the country. Disband the armies there.
Bruce: No problem.
Karl: Anything else?
Barry: The new provinces are used to a more decentralised form of government. By absorbing Hungary and Bohemia, our overall government centralisation has decreased considerably.
Karl: That is unfortunate. How are the Hungarian provinces governed then?
Barry: The local aristocracy are very much used to getting their own way. They have powers that the Austrian nobility have not had in centuries.
Karl: We will fix that, no doubt. But for now, we must leave things as they are. No point in provoking a civil war. Not yet, anyway.
Barry: Will you be travelling to your new lands now?
Karl: Hmmm ... Winter is coming on, but perhaps I could squeeze in a visit ...
Bruce: Visiting Hungary has not always been safe for the Habsburgs, my lord ...
Karl: You are referring to my predecessor, the Archduke Albert, perhaps? *Bruces nods, slightly* Times have changed since then. The Hungarians have become much more civilised ... But, I am sure that there are matters requiring my attention in Spain. I should reassure my subjects there that my attention will not be diverted by these new lands of mine. All in all, perhaps it would be better to send Ferdinand and Anne. The Hungarians will surely recognise her as one of their own, even if they do not feel the same way about me or my brother.
Bruce: A wise choice, my lord.
Karl: You two should go with them, of course. Get the lit of the land and all that.
Barry: But ...
Karl: You can send your reports to me in Madrid. Enjoy your trip gentlemen.
...
October, 1528
Scene: The imperial thronerooom. Bruce and Barry are waiting for permission to enter. Meanwhile, the narrator is moving around the walls, tapping on them and then pressing his ear to the wall.
Narrator: Of course, wooden building, such as this one, that were common in the 16th century, were prone to a number of attacks. Termites were a particular concern, and prior to the invention of chemical pesticides, a number of folk remedies were used. Successfully in this case.
Attacks on the body politic were similarly feared, especially here in Austria. The Austrian Wars of Religion did not end with the subjugation of Saxony at the end of 1524, but a new phase began. The Habsburg inheritance of Bohemia, along with the addition of Anhalt to the realm, meant that there were now large numbers of Protestants within Austria's borders. Austrian troops, good Catholic troops, were sent to the most strongly Lutheran regions, and with them came missionaries, hired at great expense by the Austrian throne.
Despite these precautions, the Bohemian and Hungarian lands remained peaceful. Ferdinand's tour, accompanied by Bruce and Barry, proceeded uneventfully. In the autumn of 1528, Karl returned to Vienna, where he met with Bruce and Barry.
Barry: Its good to have you back in Austria, my lord.
Karl: I thought it best that I return for von Frundsberg's funeral. He was such a loyal servant of my father's, and of mine, in the last few years of course.
Bruce: I am sure his family appreciated it, my lord.
Barry: Before we go on, can I just mention, that I am not happy about the amount of money that is being spent sending missionaries all over the place?
Karl: Your objection is noted. And I have read your letters to the same effect. So many letters ... However, it is important that we stamp out Lutheranism as quickly as we can.
Barry: You'll never manage it.
Karl: Don't be so defeatist. If the missionaries don't work out we can always switch to simply rounding them all up and killing them.
Bruce: I really can't recommend that, my lord. If the Lutherans are going to be killed anyway, they will fight your troops tooth and nail. The whole of northern Germany will become blood bath.
Karl: *sighes* Yes, yes. I still think it would be the simplest solution, but I do see your point. If only Luther's teachings had not spread so widely ... We will keep funding the missionaries.
Bruce is relieved at that, but Barry continues to look unhappy.
Karl: Now, apart from the religious crisis, I asked you two here today to congratulate you on successfully arranging my cousin Albert's wedding.
Barry: Who?
Bruce: Albert. We found him a wife in the Teutonic Order.
Barry: Ohhh ... Well done us then, huh?
Karl: Quite. Since that went so well, I have decided to set you another diplomatic mission. I want you to vassalise Savoy.
Bruce: Err ... My lord, Savoy are no longer a part of our alliance.
Karl: Really? Oh, well, you'll just have to bring them back, won't you?
Bruce: They have formed a new alliance with Munster and Scotland. They have also annexed the Swiss.
Karl: Ahhh ... That is a little more challenging than I had intended it to be then. *Karl looks not at all worried by this discovery* But at least the Swiss are out of our hair for now. Oh well, best of luck!
Those Turks look like they could be real trouble pretty soon. Are Bruce and Barry going to do anything about it?
Now that Austria is blobbier and more powerful, perhaps Bruce and Barry will be more successful persuading nations such as Portugal to share maps. If you could get military access with Spain you could line up a big army at the border and take Tago by force if necessary. And you wouldn't even need a navy except to deploy the troops in Spain before the war.
Now that Austria is blobbier and more powerful, perhaps Bruce and Barry will be more successful persuading nations such as Portugal to share maps. If you could get military access with Spain you could line up a big army at the border and take Tago by force if necessary. And you wouldn't even need a navy except to deploy the troops in Spain before the war.
It seems a shame to be fighting good Catholics when there are so many protestants to burn ... errr fight ... errr peacefully bring back to the Catholic church. The protestants have kept Bruce and barry busy this time round, but an attack on Portugal is certainly worth a thought.
Oh, and the best thing about a vassalise Savoy mission, is that at least its not Conquer Liguria.
...
Chapter 5, Part V
In which Wurtemburg strikes a blow for truth, Catholicism and the Austrian way
October 25, 1528
Scene: A moderately comfortable cell in the dungeons. Bruce is meeting with a solidly built young man with short gingery hair.
Bruce: Welcome to Vienna, your ambassadorship. I hope you won't find your cell too uncomfortable.
English Ambassador: Please, call me Henry. And the cell looks fine. I had expected much worse.
Bruce: I can't help wondering, are you any relation to the king?
Henry: Yes. Well, so I believe. I look nothing like my mother's husband, and my mother did spend some time at the royal court ...
Bruce: Can't you just ask your mother? To satisfy your own curiousity?
Henry: My mother died just over a year ago, and before that she was quite mad. She would often rant against the king, and blame him for her blindness, but she never claimed he was my father.
Bruce: You do look like the king, and you have his name ...
Henry: In my heart of hearts, I believe that I am a true son of the king, but I cannot prove it, so it makes no difference. *shrugs* Perhaps thats why I have been given this job.
Bruce: As a way for the king to support his son, you mean?
Henry: Yes ... and no ... I'm out of the way over here, so I can't stir up trouble, and the life expectancy of ambassadors is not good.
Bruce: I see what you mean. We will make your stay as comfortable as we can. But right now, I need to talk to you about arranging a marriage between your royal family and ours.
Henry: The marriage between the king's aunt and Emperor Karl's uncle isn't enough?
Bruce: You haven't heard then? Karl's uncle died last week, and his widow is already on her way back to England.
Henry: I'm sure that King Henry will be happy enough to see his sister Mary married into the Habsburg family.
Bruce: Good. *thinks* Now who can we marry her off to?
At this stage a guard leads a dishevelled looking messenger to Bruce.
Messenger: My Lord Dieter. I bring grave news from Ragusa!
Bruce: Where the hell is Ragusa?
Messenger: In the far south east of your empire, my lord. Colonel Von Trap has been leading the former Hungarian army there since the Austrian inheritance of our lands.
Bruce: I see. I'm sure he's been doign a good job then. Now what news?
Messenger: The peasants in Ragusa are revolting!
Bruce: I'm sure they are ... Oh, you mean there is a rebellion there?
Messenger: Yes, my lord.
Bruce: And the colonel wants me to send him reinforcements, does he?
Messenger: No, my lord. He is confident that his 30,000 infantry will be able to defeat a few rebels.
Bruce: *surprised* Did you say 30,000?! A three and then four zeroes?
The messenger counts on his fingers.
Messenger: Yes, my lord.
Bruce: How the hell did I miss an army that big? No wonder I had to disband troops ...
Messenger: My lord?
Bruce. Nothing, nothing. I'm sure the colonel is doing a bang up job down there.
Messenger: Yes, my lord. If you will excuse me? I must also convey this news to Duke Edvin.
Bruce: *hurriedly* No, no, no. There's no need for you to do that, I'll make sure that Edvin hears about it.
Bruce hurries the messenger out of the cell.
Bruce: You just go back to Ragusa and tell the colonel that we're keeping a close eye on his work here, and we're very proud of him.
Messenger: Is that why we haven't had any orders for the last two years?
Bruce: Errrmm ... Tell the colonel ... Tell the colonel that we're considering him for promotion, and wanted to see how well he can use his initiative.
Messenger: *looks unconvinced* If you say so, my lord ...
...
November 1531
Scene: Bruce and Barry's office in the library. The two are studying maps of the nation of Magdeburg, when the narrator strides in and leans against their table.
Narrator: The process of peaceful conversions back to Catholicism continued throughout 1529 and 1530. By February of 1530, missionaries had been sent to all of the Protestant provinces within Austria's borders. Both Karl and Barry were confident that these missionaries would eliminate the protestant problem in Austria, and that the nation would soon be free to turn its attention to solving the Lutheran problem in the north of Germany.
Brave Austrian missionaries preach against the scourge of Lutheranism. The Poles are doing their bit in Poznan too.
However, these plans suffered a setback on April 1st of 1530, when Austria's ally, Wurzburg announced its intention to declare Lutheranism to be the state religion. At first Bruce and Barry thought this was an April Fools prank, however they soon realised that the Gregorian calender hadn't been invented yet, and so April Fools jokes were unlikely to occur. Emperor Karl was, naturally, enraged when he heard news of the announcement, and on May 3, 1530 Austria declared war on Wurzburg, bringing the Austrian Wars of Religion into a third phase.
Austria's ally Wurtemburg immediately announced her support for the Catholic cause, and a huge army marched north from Wurttemburg and, after defeating a Wurzburgian army, laid siege to the city in the name of Wurtemburg and the Holy Church. Austria mobilized her armies too, but it took some time for Colonel Von Trap's infantry to make their way north from Ragusa. Bruce held them back in Bayern, where they destroyed the remnants of Wurzburg's armies as they fled from their defeat. Austria contributed a small contingent, but the siege of Wurzburg was primarily undertaken by Wurtemburg.
Barry: Is that it?
Narrator: Not at all. While Wurzburg was under siege, the Catholic cause did score a minor victory, with the province of Bohemia converting back to the Catholic faith in May of 1531. This conversion demonstrated that the peaceful approach of sending missionaries could be made to work.
However, as the siege dragged on, Wurzburg became an inspiration to other nations, and in the summer of 1531 both Sweden and Magdeburg converted to the Lutheran faith. Despite Emperor Karl's natural inclination to immediately declare war on these two renegade states, Bruce was able to persuade him to at least delay that decision until the war against Wurzburg was concluded.
Finally, in November 1531, Wurtemburg captured Wurzburg, and immediately annexed the nation state, bringing the people of Wurzburg back under Catholic rule.
The narrator has reached the end of his address, and is on his way out of the room.
Bruce: Don't we get to do anything this time then?
Narrator: *shrugs* Thats up to you, I guess. I did my bit.
Barry: There is one thing, Bruce, how come we had such a huge army in Ragusa?
Bruce: Well ... ummm ... We were keeping the Turks on their toes.
Barry: Right ... Even though we needed troops to protect the missionaries in Germany?
Bruce: The troops can't be everywhere at once, Barry! Besides, we have been changing government policies to discourage innovation and free thought so that you will get more volunteers to be missionaries. What more could you want?
Barry: I guess you're right. Sorry, Bruce.
Oh, and the best thing about a vassalise Savoy mission, is that at least its not Conquer Liguria.
...
Chapter 5, Part V
In which Wurtemburg strikes a blow for truth, Catholicism and the Austrian way
October 25, 1528
Scene: A moderately comfortable cell in the dungeons. Bruce is meeting with a solidly built young man with short gingery hair.
Bruce: Welcome to Vienna, your ambassadorship. I hope you won't find your cell too uncomfortable.
English Ambassador: Please, call me Henry. And the cell looks fine. I had expected much worse.
Bruce: I can't help wondering, are you any relation to the king?
Henry: Yes. Well, so I believe. I look nothing like my mother's husband, and my mother did spend some time at the royal court ...
Bruce: Can't you just ask your mother? To satisfy your own curiousity?
Henry: My mother died just over a year ago, and before that she was quite mad. She would often rant against the king, and blame him for her blindness, but she never claimed he was my father.
Bruce: You do look like the king, and you have his name ...
Henry: In my heart of hearts, I believe that I am a true son of the king, but I cannot prove it, so it makes no difference. *shrugs* Perhaps thats why I have been given this job.
Bruce: As a way for the king to support his son, you mean?
Henry: Yes ... and no ... I'm out of the way over here, so I can't stir up trouble, and the life expectancy of ambassadors is not good.
Bruce: I see what you mean. We will make your stay as comfortable as we can. But right now, I need to talk to you about arranging a marriage between your royal family and ours.
Henry: The marriage between the king's aunt and Emperor Karl's uncle isn't enough?
Bruce: You haven't heard then? Karl's uncle died last week, and his widow is already on her way back to England.
Henry: I'm sure that King Henry will be happy enough to see his sister Mary married into the Habsburg family.
Bruce: Good. *thinks* Now who can we marry her off to?
At this stage a guard leads a dishevelled looking messenger to Bruce.
Messenger: My Lord Dieter. I bring grave news from Ragusa!
Bruce: Where the hell is Ragusa?
Messenger: In the far south east of your empire, my lord. Colonel Von Trap has been leading the former Hungarian army there since the Austrian inheritance of our lands.
Bruce: I see. I'm sure he's been doign a good job then. Now what news?
Messenger: The peasants in Ragusa are revolting!
Bruce: I'm sure they are ... Oh, you mean there is a rebellion there?
Messenger: Yes, my lord.
Bruce: And the colonel wants me to send him reinforcements, does he?
Messenger: No, my lord. He is confident that his 30,000 infantry will be able to defeat a few rebels.
Bruce: *surprised* Did you say 30,000?! A three and then four zeroes?
The messenger counts on his fingers.
Messenger: Yes, my lord.
Bruce: How the hell did I miss an army that big? No wonder I had to disband troops ...
Messenger: My lord?
Bruce. Nothing, nothing. I'm sure the colonel is doing a bang up job down there.
Messenger: Yes, my lord. If you will excuse me? I must also convey this news to Duke Edvin.
Bruce: *hurriedly* No, no, no. There's no need for you to do that, I'll make sure that Edvin hears about it.
Bruce hurries the messenger out of the cell.
Bruce: You just go back to Ragusa and tell the colonel that we're keeping a close eye on his work here, and we're very proud of him.
Messenger: Is that why we haven't had any orders for the last two years?
Bruce: Errrmm ... Tell the colonel ... Tell the colonel that we're considering him for promotion, and wanted to see how well he can use his initiative.
Messenger: *looks unconvinced* If you say so, my lord ...
...
November 1531
Scene: Bruce and Barry's office in the library. The two are studying maps of the nation of Magdeburg, when the narrator strides in and leans against their table.
Narrator: The process of peaceful conversions back to Catholicism continued throughout 1529 and 1530. By February of 1530, missionaries had been sent to all of the Protestant provinces within Austria's borders. Both Karl and Barry were confident that these missionaries would eliminate the protestant problem in Austria, and that the nation would soon be free to turn its attention to solving the Lutheran problem in the north of Germany.
Brave Austrian missionaries preach against the scourge of Lutheranism. The Poles are doing their bit in Poznan too.
However, these plans suffered a setback on April 1st of 1530, when Austria's ally, Wurzburg announced its intention to declare Lutheranism to be the state religion. At first Bruce and Barry thought this was an April Fools prank, however they soon realised that the Gregorian calender hadn't been invented yet, and so April Fools jokes were unlikely to occur. Emperor Karl was, naturally, enraged when he heard news of the announcement, and on May 3, 1530 Austria declared war on Wurzburg, bringing the Austrian Wars of Religion into a third phase.
Austria's ally Wurtemburg immediately announced her support for the Catholic cause, and a huge army marched north from Wurttemburg and, after defeating a Wurzburgian army, laid siege to the city in the name of Wurtemburg and the Holy Church. Austria mobilized her armies too, but it took some time for Colonel Von Trap's infantry to make their way north from Ragusa. Bruce held them back in Bayern, where they destroyed the remnants of Wurzburg's armies as they fled from their defeat. Austria contributed a small contingent, but the siege of Wurzburg was primarily undertaken by Wurtemburg.
Barry: Is that it?
Narrator: Not at all. While Wurzburg was under siege, the Catholic cause did score a minor victory, with the province of Bohemia converting back to the Catholic faith in May of 1531. This conversion demonstrated that the peaceful approach of sending missionaries could be made to work.
However, as the siege dragged on, Wurzburg became an inspiration to other nations, and in the summer of 1531 both Sweden and Magdeburg converted to the Lutheran faith. Despite Emperor Karl's natural inclination to immediately declare war on these two renegade states, Bruce was able to persuade him to at least delay that decision until the war against Wurzburg was concluded.
Finally, in November 1531, Wurtemburg captured Wurzburg, and immediately annexed the nation state, bringing the people of Wurzburg back under Catholic rule.
The narrator has reached the end of his address, and is on his way out of the room.
Bruce: Don't we get to do anything this time then?
Narrator: *shrugs* Thats up to you, I guess. I did my bit.
Barry: There is one thing, Bruce, how come we had such a huge army in Ragusa?
Bruce: Well ... ummm ... We were keeping the Turks on their toes.
Barry: Right ... Even though we needed troops to protect the missionaries in Germany?
Bruce: The troops can't be everywhere at once, Barry! Besides, we have been changing government policies to discourage innovation and free thought so that you will get more volunteers to be missionaries. What more could you want?
Barry: I guess you're right. Sorry, Bruce.
Huh! Those Germans can never be trusted - they'll turn Lutheran as soon as look at you! Good job with the missionaries, though - keep up the good work! And do I detect a certain embarrassment about the overlooked army in Ragusa? That kind of thing happens to me all the time!
Good job with the missionaries, though - keep up the good work! And do I detect a certain embarrassment about the overlooked army in Ragusa? That kind of thing happens to me all the time!
Damn right about those Germans Farquharson! A very apt description that I have shamelessly pilfered. My reaction to that army in Ragusa was pretty much the same as Bruce's: There's a rebellion in Ragusa? ... Oh, there's an army there, thats good. Maybe I should send reinforcements. ... There's how many troops there?! ... How embarrassing!
...
Chapter 5, Part VI
In which Karl plots against France
April, 1532
Scene: The dungeons. We are back in the cell of the English ambassador. Henry is looking much paler and less hearty than when we saw him last. Bruce and Barry are just about to enter the cell. For now they are talking quietly, while Barry glances about.
Barry: I thought he'd be here to give us an update.
Bruce: *shrugs* There's probably not enough to tell. Its only 6 months since he came to see us last.
Barry: Yeah, but a bit has happened since then.
Bruce: Saxony going protestant again, you mean?
Barry: Yeah, that too, although it'd only really be news if we'd decided to fight a war against them over it, like we did last time. Why aren't we fighting them again by the way?
Bruce: Well, partly because they hired a missionary in Sachsen before they converted, and we're curious to see how that turns out. Maybe the missionary will complete his mission and turn the people back to the Church and then we can work on the royals. The other thing is that the new Elector in Saxony is a bloke called John Standfast. Now call me unimaginative, but I don't think he got that name because of his willingness to change religions, do you?
Barry: Yeah, fair enough, I suppose. Besides, now that we annexed Wurtemburg, we have more provinces of our own to convert, so I guess Sachsen will have to wait. Why did we annex Wurtemburg anyway?
Bruce: Well, after Saxony and Magdeburg, it seems like those Germans will turn Lutheran as soon as look at you. So we annexed them before they had a chance to change and cancel all their alliances with us.
Barry: Makes sense. Probably saved us a war.
Bruce: Probably did, yeah. Shall we go see Henry?
Bruce enters the cell. Barry waits a moment longer, before entering behind him.
Bruce: Henry, this is my colleague, Ba ... aah ... Edvin.
Henry steps forward to shake Barry's hand.
Henry: Nice to meet you Bardvin. Unusual name you have there, is it Hungarian, perhaps?
Barry: Ahhh ... You know, I'm not really sure.
Henry: Oh well. No matter. Now, gentlemen, I have summoned you here to present you with an offer of alliance. As you know, England and Spain have been allied for some time, and King Henry has found it to be very profitable to work with King Carlos of Spain. Now he believes that Emperor Karl and King Carlos may be ... of the same mind, shall we say? *grins* ... and he is therefore keen to have Austria join our alliance.
Barry: Wouldn't we have to cancel out existing alliances to join in with the English?
Bruce: Errr ... We don't have any other allies at the moment. We annexed most of them.
Barry: Oh. So we're no-mates?
Bruce: Afraid so. Its an interesting offer Henry. What would be the purpose of the alliance?
Henry: King Henry sees two main threats to peace. The first is the threats to the church. Here, you see the Lutherans springing up everywhere, and in England we are seeing some similar movements in some areas. The Spanish continue to fight the infidels, both here and in the New World.
Bruce: *sigh* So we hear. Not that they will show us their maps.
Henry: They won't show them to us either. To return to my point. The second threat to peace is, of course, France.
Bruce: France don't seem that menacing to me.
Henry: As an Englishman, I can say that the French are always a threat to peace. Anyway, Spain, England and Austria are a logical combination to combat the heretics and France together.
Bruce: OK ... I'm not sure about your paranoia about the French, but we could use some friends. We will join your alliance.
Henry: A wise choice, my lord Dieter.
Henry and Bruce shake on the deal.
...
November 1533
Scene: Bruce and Barry are meeting informally with the emperor over dinner.
Karl: I hear that we have sent missionaries to Wurzburg?
Barry: Yes, my lord. It strained the budget, but all of the provinces worst affected by Lutheranism have now received a missionary.
Karl: Good. And the missions are succeeding?
Barry: Yes. Better than I ecxpected. Sudeten have converted back to Catholicism, so now all of the former Bohemian provinces are Catholic.
Karl: Good. As long as the missionaries are so successful, we may not need to use stronger measures. In light of your successes, I will not punish you for your failure to complete the mission I set you.
Barry: Mission? What mission?
Bruce: We were supposed to be vassalising Savoy, weren't we?
Karl nods curtly.
Bruce: Well, frankly, relations have soured with Savoy, and the only was we could see to vassalise them was to fight a war against them. I thought it was a bit of a waste of resources to be fighting another Catholic country when you ... err, we ... are so concerned about the protestants, so I let it slide.
Karl: You made the right decision, but you should have confirmed it with me. We will give up on vassalising Savoy and I will set you a new mission now. Your new mission will be to conquer Liguria.
The stuff of nightmares for Bruce and Barry.
Bruce: But ... We don't want to fight the French for ALL the same reasons that we don't want to fight Savoy, plus some! The French like us even more than the Spanish do!
Karl: Speak for yourselves. Anyway, you are neglecting one important factor here.
Bruce: What is that?
Karl: The French are French. The Savoyards are not.
Bruce: Actually, I think you'll find they are ...
Karl: Well certainly not as French.
Bruce: I suppose not. How are we gonna manage this then?
Karl: Thats not really my problem, but as a hint, I didn't approve our alliance with the English because I like them, you know! Enland, Austria and Spain is the perfect alliance with which to attack France. And when the alliance makes that attack, your mission is to make sure that we end up with Liguria, clear?
Bruce: All right ... but I won't be responsible for starting the attack. If the English or Spanish start it, we will join in then.
Karl: *exasperated* Fine. However you want to do it. Just do it!
My reaction to that army in Ragusa was pretty much the same as Bruce's: There's a rebellion in Ragusa? ... Oh, there's an army there, thats good. Maybe I should send reinforcements. ... There's how many troops there?! ... How embarrassing!...
Chapter 5, Part VI
In which Karl plots against France
April, 1532
Scene: The dungeons. We are back in the cell of the English ambassador. Henry is looking much paler and less hearty than when we saw him last. Bruce and Barry are just about to enter the cell. For now they are talking quietly, while Barry glances about.
Barry: I thought he'd be here to give us an update.
Bruce: *shrugs* There's probably not enough to tell. Its only 6 months since he came to see us last.
Barry: Yeah, but a bit has happened since then.
Bruce: Saxony going protestant again, you mean?
Barry: Yeah, that too, although it'd only really be news if we'd decided to fight a war against them over it, like we did last time. Why aren't we fighting them again by the way?
Bruce: Well, partly because they hired a missionary in Sachsen before they converted, and we're curious to see how that turns out. Maybe the missionary will complete his mission and turn the people back to the Church and then we can work on the royals. The other thing is that the new Elector in Saxony is a bloke called John Standfast. Now call me unimaginative, but I don't think he got that name because of his willingness to change religions, do you?
Barry: Yeah, fair enough, I suppose. Besides, now that we annexed Wurtemburg, we have more provinces of our own to convert, so I guess Sachsen will have to wait. Why did we annex Wurtemburg anyway?
Bruce: Well, after Saxony and Magdeburg, it seems like those Germans will turn Lutheran as soon as look at you. So we annexed them before they had a chance to change and cancel all their alliances with us.
Barry: Makes sense. Probably saved us a war.
Bruce: Probably did, yeah. Shall we go see Henry?
Bruce enters the cell. Barry waits a moment longer, before entering behind him.
Bruce: Henry, this is my colleague, Ba ... aah ... Edvin.
Henry steps forward to shake Barry's hand.
Henry: Nice to meet you Bardvin. Unusual name you have there, is it Hungarian, perhaps?
Barry: Ahhh ... You know, I'm not really sure.
Henry: Oh well. No matter. Now, gentlemen, I have summoned you here to present you with an offer of alliance. As you know, England and Spain have been allied for some time, and King Henry has found it to be very profitable to work with King Carlos of Spain. Now he believes that Emperor Karl and King Carlos may be ... of the same mind, shall we say? *grins* ... and he is therefore keen to have Austria join our alliance.
Barry: Wouldn't we have to cancel out existing alliances to join in with the English?
Bruce: Errr ... We don't have any other allies at the moment. We annexed most of them.
Barry: Oh. So we're no-mates?
Bruce: Afraid so. Its an interesting offer Henry. What would be the purpose of the alliance?
Henry: King Henry sees two main threats to peace. The first is the threats to the church. Here, you see the Lutherans springing up everywhere, and in England we are seeing some similar movements in some areas. The Spanish continue to fight the infidels, both here and in the New World.
Bruce: *sigh* So we hear. Not that they will show us their maps.
Henry: They won't show them to us either. To return to my point. The second threat to peace is, of course, France.
Bruce: France don't seem that menacing to me.
Henry: As an Englishman, I can say that the French are always a threat to peace. Anyway, Spain, England and Austria are a logical combination to combat the heretics and France together.
Bruce: OK ... I'm not sure about your paranoia about the French, but we could use some friends. We will join your alliance.
Henry: A wise choice, my lord Dieter.
Henry and Bruce shake on the deal.
...
November 1533
Scene: Bruce and Barry are meeting informally with the emperor over dinner.
Karl: I hear that we have sent missionaries to Wurzburg?
Barry: Yes, my lord. It strained the budget, but all of the provinces worst affected by Lutheranism have now received a missionary.
Karl: Good. And the missions are succeeding?
Barry: Yes. Better than I ecxpected. Sudeten have converted back to Catholicism, so now all of the former Bohemian provinces are Catholic.
Karl: Good. As long as the missionaries are so successful, we may not need to use stronger measures. In light of your successes, I will not punish you for your failure to complete the mission I set you.
Barry: Mission? What mission?
Bruce: We were supposed to be vassalising Savoy, weren't we?
Karl nods curtly.
Bruce: Well, frankly, relations have soured with Savoy, and the only was we could see to vassalise them was to fight a war against them. I thought it was a bit of a waste of resources to be fighting another Catholic country when you ... err, we ... are so concerned about the protestants, so I let it slide.
Karl: You made the right decision, but you should have confirmed it with me. We will give up on vassalising Savoy and I will set you a new mission now. Your new mission will be to conquer Liguria.
The stuff of nightmares for Bruce and Barry.
Bruce: But ... We don't want to fight the French for ALL the same reasons that we don't want to fight Savoy, plus some! The French like us even more than the Spanish do!
Karl: Speak for yourselves. Anyway, you are neglecting one important factor here.
Bruce: What is that?
Karl: The French are French. The Savoyards are not.
Bruce: Actually, I think you'll find they are ...
Karl: Well certainly not as French.
Bruce: I suppose not. How are we gonna manage this then?
Karl: Thats not really my problem, but as a hint, I didn't approve our alliance with the English because I like them, you know! Enland, Austria and Spain is the perfect alliance with which to attack France. And when the alliance makes that attack, your mission is to make sure that we end up with Liguria, clear?
Bruce: All right ... but I won't be responsible for starting the attack. If the English or Spanish start it, we will join in then.
Karl: *exasperated* Fine. However you want to do it. Just do it!
Last edited:
Heh, I'm sensing that this time Bruce and Barry may actually succeed with the mission... :rofl:
BTW, I've discovered that BWB stands for Bruce With Barry as well as Big White Blob
BTW, I've discovered that BWB stands for Bruce With Barry as well as Big White Blob
Yes, Emperor Karl and King Carlos just might be "of the same mind" as it were. Good update. I sense trials ahead for the poor, innocent French.
Good update. I sense trials ahead for the poor, innocent French.
Nice to know Karl is sticking to essentials. On to Paris! (You never know, they might have maps in Paris).TimN said:
Thanks for the support guys. Its nice to know that Karl is not the only one who wants to see the French squashed like ... really flat squashed things.
Unfortunately, as the narrator is about to tell us, events have overtaken us. Its still on to Paris, but with a small detour via London.
...
Chapter 5, Part VII
In which the English adventure begins
November 22, 1534
Scene: Bruce and Barry's "office." The emperor seems lost in thought, studying a map of Europe, and Bruce and Barry are unwilling to disturb his thoughts. Meanwhile, the narrator pops his head in through a window.
Narrator: In January 1534 the Austrian attempt to keep Europe united under the banner of Catholicism suffered a serious setback, with Henry VIII of England announcing his intention to create a national church, independent of Rome. This decision infuriated Emperor Karl for two reasons. The first was that England was the first nation outside of the Baltic region to break free of the Catholic faith, and Karl feared that the English decision would influence other nations, such as Poland, France and Portugal. Barry, and other religious advisors tried to convince Karl that such decisions were unlikely, given that there was no groundswell of support for Lutheranism among the peoples of these other nations, but the emperor would not be swayed. The second reason for Karl's anger was a more personal one. Henry's conversion had been more pragmatic than spiritual. Henry's wife, Catherine of Aragon was much loved by Karl's wife, Caterina, and Henry had broken free of the church in Rome so as to be able to set her aside as his wife. With his wife whispering against Henry in his ear, and Karl's natural lack of respect for one who would forsake his religious beliefs for wordly advantage, Karl's opinion of Henry plummeted.
Immediately, the shipyards along the Adriatic and in Emilia were set to work adding to Austria's fleet, with the intention that an attack on England would come soon.
In June 1534, the Catholic cause received another setback, with the news that the missionary sent to Anhalt had failed to convert the people back to the Catholic faith. For the first time, Karl and Barry were forced to face the reality that peaceful means were not always successful in swaying the people back to the Catholic faith.
With a simmering ill-temper, Karl continued to bide his time.
Bruce: *coughs softly to gain the emperor's attention* The shipyards report that they have completed the boats we ordered earlier in the year, my lord.
Karl: Good! Then we can order some more.
Barry: Err ... We don't have enough money to do that, my lord.
Karl: All right, we'll wait until after the taxes are collected at the start of January.
Barry: If we declared war now, we could collect war taxes. That would double the funds we collect, as well as giving the shipyards the confidence to hire more workers, and increase their capacity to build ships.
Karl: You know that I am itching to punish the English. Is the time right?
Barry: *looks confused* Did you say English? I thought we were going to fight the French?
Karl: Change of plans. Do try to keep up. We are preparing to fight the oath-breaking, wife-swapping heretics in England. The cowardly French dogs will have to wait!
Barry: *quietly* Someone's been popping the angry pills ...
Bruce: *talking over Barry* Now is as good a time as any to declare the war, my lord. It will be some time before our troops are in position to attacke the English, however.
Karl: Thats fine. Go to the dungeons and deliver the message to the English ambassador for me, Dieter. While you are down there, ask my good friend, the French ambassador if France will grant us military access across their lands, will you?
Bruce: Yes, my lord.
Barry: And I'll start raising war taxes.
Bruce and Barry make their way out, leaving Karl still studying the map.
Barry: Do you think the French will grant us military access?
Bruce: I wouldn't think so. Even if Karl has changed his mind about invading them, I still don't think they'll buy the idea of thousands of Austrians marching across France.
Barry: In that case ... is this really such a good idea? England is a long way away, and I don't think the fleets can sail that far without horrible losses.
Bruce: With the fleets, they will be able to stop off in Spain, to refit and reprovision.
Barry: Still ...
Bruce: Karl has all his own reasons, of course, but there is an extra reason.
Barry: Whats that?
Bruce: If we manage to win a naval battle, there is a chance that we will get hold of the English maps.
Barry: Ahhh ... and that will get us one step closer to home?
Bruce nods.
Barry: Just one thing ... Its only the 1530s. I'm pretty sure that the English didn't discover Australia for at least another hundred years. Maybe two hundred.
Bruce: *looking worried* Really? Bugger! Well, its worth a try anyway.
...
June, 1535
Scene: The imperial throneroom. The room is empty, except for Bruce and Barry, who are waiting in front of the throne, and the narrator, who has a butterfly net, which he is using to try and catch a dragonfly that has somehow made its way into the room. As he chases the dragonfly, the narrator speaks.
Narrator: Historians are divided as to whether the war against the English constitutes a continuation of the Austrian Wars of Religion, or whether it marked the start of a new conflict. Many historian, especially those based outside Austria, where the earlier phases of the Wars of Religion had passed more or less unnoticed, prefer to refer to the Anglo-Habsburg Wars. Even here, there is some debate, as to when these wars can be said to have commenced. Some historians take the view that the wars commenced when Henry VIII declared himself head of the Church in England. Certainly Austrian preparations for the war seem to have commenced almost immediately after that date. However, others argue that the official declaration of war by the Austrians and the Spanish on November 22, 1534 marks the start of the war. Still others argue for dates in early 1535, when the first clashes of the conflict occurred.
Barry: So do you have any actual news?
Narrator: *Stops and shoulders his net, so he can check his notes* There is some stuff about a foreign trade company forming, but I don't think anyone except for Barry, and a couple of merchants really cares about that.
Barry: I already filled you in on that.
Bruce: Tell me some other time then. The emperor is coming.
The steady tread of a small bodyguard precedes the emperor as he enters the room, and makes his way to the throne. The guards discretely make their way to one side of the room, where they stand, oblivious to both the dragonfly and the butterfly net as the narrator continues the chase.
Karl: I have been receiving all sorts of reports of English armies moving through Austria. How can that be?
Bruce: I'm not really sure how they got here, my lord. I think they are using their military access through Magdeburg.
Karl: But I heard that there was an English army in Lombardia!
Bruce: There was, my lord. Our troops have destroyed it now.
Karl: How did they manage to get so far?
Bruce: I was supervising the preparations of the invasion force, and the fleet, so I must admit that I didn't notice the English armies straight away.
Karl: At last! You are prepared to admit your own faults. What about you, Edvin?
Barry: Err ... I don't really do army things.
Karl: Perhaps you should. No real harm was done, and I am sure you won't let it happen again, will you Dieter? Now how are the preparations coming along?
Bruce: Unfortunately, the French wouldn't grant us military access, so we are having to use a convoy of ships to sail around Spain in order to attack England.
Karl: The fleet is on its way now?
Bruce: *nods* We have a fleet on its way to the Atlantic, carrying a small army to attack the English.
Karl: Where do you propose to land them?
Bruce: In Poitou.
Karl: Poitou ... Poitou?! Isn't that in France?
Bruce: Yes. To defeat the English near the site of their Black Prince's famous victory over the French will strike a psychological blow.
Karl: When was this famous victory?
Bruce: About 200 years ago, but trust me, the English still remember. Also, the Spanish will be able to march through Gascogne to come to our aid there, if we run into problems.
Karl: And we get to kill some Fench after all!
Bruce: Err ... We will be fighting against the English ...
Karl: But they will be IN France, yes?
Bruce: Yesss ...
Karl: Close enough!
Karl waves Bruce and Barry out. The narrator has caught his quarry, and follows them out.
Narrator: In August, 1535 the Austrians landed in Poitou. They defeated a small English force in the province before laying siege to the capital, La Rochelle. Meanwhile the Spanish had initiated a siege on the England's other French possession, Bordeaux, the capital of the province of Gascogne. Once the siege was commenced, the Austrian fleet began the long journey back to Emilia, where another army was being readied.
Unfortunately, as the narrator is about to tell us, events have overtaken us. Its still on to Paris, but with a small detour via London.
...
Chapter 5, Part VII
In which the English adventure begins
November 22, 1534
Scene: Bruce and Barry's "office." The emperor seems lost in thought, studying a map of Europe, and Bruce and Barry are unwilling to disturb his thoughts. Meanwhile, the narrator pops his head in through a window.
Narrator: In January 1534 the Austrian attempt to keep Europe united under the banner of Catholicism suffered a serious setback, with Henry VIII of England announcing his intention to create a national church, independent of Rome. This decision infuriated Emperor Karl for two reasons. The first was that England was the first nation outside of the Baltic region to break free of the Catholic faith, and Karl feared that the English decision would influence other nations, such as Poland, France and Portugal. Barry, and other religious advisors tried to convince Karl that such decisions were unlikely, given that there was no groundswell of support for Lutheranism among the peoples of these other nations, but the emperor would not be swayed. The second reason for Karl's anger was a more personal one. Henry's conversion had been more pragmatic than spiritual. Henry's wife, Catherine of Aragon was much loved by Karl's wife, Caterina, and Henry had broken free of the church in Rome so as to be able to set her aside as his wife. With his wife whispering against Henry in his ear, and Karl's natural lack of respect for one who would forsake his religious beliefs for wordly advantage, Karl's opinion of Henry plummeted.
Immediately, the shipyards along the Adriatic and in Emilia were set to work adding to Austria's fleet, with the intention that an attack on England would come soon.
In June 1534, the Catholic cause received another setback, with the news that the missionary sent to Anhalt had failed to convert the people back to the Catholic faith. For the first time, Karl and Barry were forced to face the reality that peaceful means were not always successful in swaying the people back to the Catholic faith.
With a simmering ill-temper, Karl continued to bide his time.
Bruce: *coughs softly to gain the emperor's attention* The shipyards report that they have completed the boats we ordered earlier in the year, my lord.
Karl: Good! Then we can order some more.
Barry: Err ... We don't have enough money to do that, my lord.
Karl: All right, we'll wait until after the taxes are collected at the start of January.
Barry: If we declared war now, we could collect war taxes. That would double the funds we collect, as well as giving the shipyards the confidence to hire more workers, and increase their capacity to build ships.
Karl: You know that I am itching to punish the English. Is the time right?
Barry: *looks confused* Did you say English? I thought we were going to fight the French?
Karl: Change of plans. Do try to keep up. We are preparing to fight the oath-breaking, wife-swapping heretics in England. The cowardly French dogs will have to wait!
Barry: *quietly* Someone's been popping the angry pills ...
Bruce: *talking over Barry* Now is as good a time as any to declare the war, my lord. It will be some time before our troops are in position to attacke the English, however.
Karl: Thats fine. Go to the dungeons and deliver the message to the English ambassador for me, Dieter. While you are down there, ask my good friend, the French ambassador if France will grant us military access across their lands, will you?
Bruce: Yes, my lord.
Barry: And I'll start raising war taxes.
Bruce and Barry make their way out, leaving Karl still studying the map.
Barry: Do you think the French will grant us military access?
Bruce: I wouldn't think so. Even if Karl has changed his mind about invading them, I still don't think they'll buy the idea of thousands of Austrians marching across France.
Barry: In that case ... is this really such a good idea? England is a long way away, and I don't think the fleets can sail that far without horrible losses.
Bruce: With the fleets, they will be able to stop off in Spain, to refit and reprovision.
Barry: Still ...
Bruce: Karl has all his own reasons, of course, but there is an extra reason.
Barry: Whats that?
Bruce: If we manage to win a naval battle, there is a chance that we will get hold of the English maps.
Barry: Ahhh ... and that will get us one step closer to home?
Bruce nods.
Barry: Just one thing ... Its only the 1530s. I'm pretty sure that the English didn't discover Australia for at least another hundred years. Maybe two hundred.
Bruce: *looking worried* Really? Bugger! Well, its worth a try anyway.
...
June, 1535
Scene: The imperial throneroom. The room is empty, except for Bruce and Barry, who are waiting in front of the throne, and the narrator, who has a butterfly net, which he is using to try and catch a dragonfly that has somehow made its way into the room. As he chases the dragonfly, the narrator speaks.
Narrator: Historians are divided as to whether the war against the English constitutes a continuation of the Austrian Wars of Religion, or whether it marked the start of a new conflict. Many historian, especially those based outside Austria, where the earlier phases of the Wars of Religion had passed more or less unnoticed, prefer to refer to the Anglo-Habsburg Wars. Even here, there is some debate, as to when these wars can be said to have commenced. Some historians take the view that the wars commenced when Henry VIII declared himself head of the Church in England. Certainly Austrian preparations for the war seem to have commenced almost immediately after that date. However, others argue that the official declaration of war by the Austrians and the Spanish on November 22, 1534 marks the start of the war. Still others argue for dates in early 1535, when the first clashes of the conflict occurred.
Barry: So do you have any actual news?
Narrator: *Stops and shoulders his net, so he can check his notes* There is some stuff about a foreign trade company forming, but I don't think anyone except for Barry, and a couple of merchants really cares about that.
Barry: I already filled you in on that.
Bruce: Tell me some other time then. The emperor is coming.
The steady tread of a small bodyguard precedes the emperor as he enters the room, and makes his way to the throne. The guards discretely make their way to one side of the room, where they stand, oblivious to both the dragonfly and the butterfly net as the narrator continues the chase.
Karl: I have been receiving all sorts of reports of English armies moving through Austria. How can that be?
Bruce: I'm not really sure how they got here, my lord. I think they are using their military access through Magdeburg.
Karl: But I heard that there was an English army in Lombardia!
Bruce: There was, my lord. Our troops have destroyed it now.
Karl: How did they manage to get so far?
Bruce: I was supervising the preparations of the invasion force, and the fleet, so I must admit that I didn't notice the English armies straight away.
Karl: At last! You are prepared to admit your own faults. What about you, Edvin?
Barry: Err ... I don't really do army things.
Karl: Perhaps you should. No real harm was done, and I am sure you won't let it happen again, will you Dieter? Now how are the preparations coming along?
Bruce: Unfortunately, the French wouldn't grant us military access, so we are having to use a convoy of ships to sail around Spain in order to attack England.
Karl: The fleet is on its way now?
Bruce: *nods* We have a fleet on its way to the Atlantic, carrying a small army to attack the English.
Karl: Where do you propose to land them?
Bruce: In Poitou.
Karl: Poitou ... Poitou?! Isn't that in France?
Bruce: Yes. To defeat the English near the site of their Black Prince's famous victory over the French will strike a psychological blow.
Karl: When was this famous victory?
Bruce: About 200 years ago, but trust me, the English still remember. Also, the Spanish will be able to march through Gascogne to come to our aid there, if we run into problems.
Karl: And we get to kill some Fench after all!
Bruce: Err ... We will be fighting against the English ...
Karl: But they will be IN France, yes?
Bruce: Yesss ...
Karl: Close enough!
Karl waves Bruce and Barry out. The narrator has caught his quarry, and follows them out.
Narrator: In August, 1535 the Austrians landed in Poitou. They defeated a small English force in the province before laying siege to the capital, La Rochelle. Meanwhile the Spanish had initiated a siege on the England's other French possession, Bordeaux, the capital of the province of Gascogne. Once the siege was commenced, the Austrian fleet began the long journey back to Emilia, where another army was being readied.
TimN said:
Nice touch! You are doing a good job at keeping in mind who are the "real" enemies.
It's hard for me to picture Austria as a serious naval power. Good luck.
Thanks jwolf. I have been discovering that for most people who play EU2, Austria are the real enemy.
France will suffer though ... if nothing else, the emperor will want me to try and convert their reformed provinces back to the true faith, and I don't think we can trust the French to take care of that now, can we?
...
Chapter 5, Part VIII
In which Bruce is more persuasive than Barry
January 1537
Scene: A rather opulent looking room. Barry is meeting with a young man, very austerely dressed in black robes, and an older man in the robes of a bishop.
Barry: Thank you for the invitation to Innsbruck, your excellency.
The Bishop nods and smiles.
Barry: I understand you have an offer for us?
Bishop Hildebrand: Yes, my son. We were all very disturbed in 1534 when we heard that the missionary sent to Anhalt had failed to return the benighted people there to the fold of the Mother Church. We were even more shocked when we heard that the missionary sent to Wurttemburg had also failed in his mission. We have been praying on the matter, and now God has spoken to Father David here, and he is ready to go to Anhalt and preach to the heretics there.
Barry: I see ... No doubt you would like the Emperor to fund the Father's trip?
The bishop nods.
Barry: I am not sure we can afford it ...
Bishop Hildebrand: The war taxes you have raised will be sufficient for the purpose, surely?
Barry: *looks slightly embarrassed* Perhaps, but there are so many other areas needing money. There is a war on, you know?
Father David: I know, the war against the work of Satan is never-ending.
The Bishop places a hand on Father David's shoulder.
Bishop Hildebrand: My son, I believe that the Duke is referring to more temporal matters. The Emperor's war against the English is limiting the funds available to fund Father David's trip, it is not?
Barry: I'm afraid so.
Father David: God will provide for my needs. I have faith in Him.
Barry: Errr ... Quite. But consider the needs of the people. Even to offer communion once to each of the people in Anhalt will require significant supplies of wine. I'm not sure that we can afford to give you the money you need.
Bishop Hildebrand: Just two months ago we ceded some of our rights to collect monies back to the crown. As I understand it, those rights were then sold to one of the local barons for some 100 ducats. Surely that money has not been spent already?
Barry: *looking even more embarrassed* Look, we appreciate the effort, we really do. But 100 ducats isn't enough by itself.
Bishop Hildebrand: I sense the work of Satan in your words. *Looking at Barry suspiciously* Perhaps you are secretly a sympathiser of these foul heretics? Well, are you?
Barry looks very uncomfortable.
Barry: I can honestly say that I have never supported Luther's teachings.
Bishop Hildebrand: What about those of some of the other heretics? Hmmm?
Barry: My lord bishop, I follow the teachings of the church I was born into.
Bishop Hildebrand: A very glib answer.
Barry: But honest.
Bishop Hildebrand: *to himself* Luther's heresy started in 1521 ... so he's too old to have been born into them ... I have my doubts ...
Barry and the bishop stare at each other for a moment, before Barry looks away.
Barry: I think we will be able to find enough money to fund Father David's work in Anhalt.
Father David: Praise be to God!
Barry: *standing* Go pack your things, Father, you can travel with me to Vienna. There, we will supply you with funds and help you on your way.
Father David: I am ready to leave now. Let's make a start now!
The bishop continues to eye Barry suspiciously as he and Father David make their way out of the room.
...
January 5, 1538
Scene: Bruce is making his way through the most disgusting parts of the dungeons. As he reaches a cell and unlocks the door, the narrator springs energetically out of the cell.
Narrator: The Habsburgs' war against the English dragged on. Further English incursions onto Austrian soil were stopped in the north, while the fleet slowly transported an army around Spain to Ireland. Free from the interference of English fleets ...
Bruce: Damn English fleets won't come out and fight!
Narrator: You think the Austrians could beat them if they did? No wonder you stayed in Vienna. Now, as I was saying, in March 1537, the Austrian army landed in the province of Munster, and besieged the small city of Cork. The Austrian fleet sailed southwards once more.
In April 1537, the Austrian army captured La Rochelle, giving them full control over the province of Poitiers. With Spain already in control of Bordeaux, England's continental possessions were now in the hands of the Habsburgs. The Autrian army was ferried northwards, and in a daring move, was landed on the English mainland, besieging Cornwall. The Austrian fleet lingered in the channel for a few weeks, hoping to attract an English attack, but none was forthcoming. The Austrian fleet once more began the long journey back to Italy.
Meanwhile, the situation in Austria was not improving. In April 1537, the news came that the missionary sent to Wurzburg had also failed. In November of that year, the situation became even worse, with heretics sparking revolts in Wurzburg and in Anhalt. The cost of the war was starting to bite in Austria, and it was clear that the Austrians were unable to keep a steady flow of armies into England, so Bruce approached the English ambassador with a peace offer.
The narrator steps out of Bruce's way, and he enters the cell.
Bruce: The war has dragged on for over three years. It is clear that we will not be able to destroy English protestantism. Even the emperor recognises that now. Will you accept peace?
Henry: We may. What are your terms?
Bruce: If England cedes her French holdings to us, we will withdraw our troops from the English homelands.
Henry: Our situation is not so bad as that. What if we were to pay you some money instead?
Bruce: No, that won't do.
Henry: Oh ... All right, then. We will agree to your terms. Austria can have Poitou. Spain can have Gascogne, and you will withdraw from England and Ireland.
Bruce: But ... *pauses in surprise* That was easier than I expected. Can I ask why you are agreeing?
Henry: Well, just between you and me, I don't think the king ever liked Poitou or Gascogne.
Bruce: Why not?
Henry: Its the people there ... they're very ... French.
Bruce: Ah, I see. Its a shame that Henry has gotten on Karl's bad side. They have so much in common really.
Henry: They are also very Catholic. I don't think Karl would see that as a disadvantage though?
Bruce: No. In fact, Karl is very big on liberating Catholics from Protestant kings. One step at a time, I guess.
Henry: Err ... This peace treaty will be binding for 5 years, won't it. You won't be "liberating" any provinces before then, will you.
Bruce: Of course not. We have an agreement for peace in our times, and we will stick to it.
OOC: Poitou Pop 22 137, Income 15, Trade 11, Salt
Austria's new port on the Atlantic. If you look in the bottom left, it shows that, despite our victory against the English, Austria still haven't gotten hold of any maps of the New World.
France will suffer though ... if nothing else, the emperor will want me to try and convert their reformed provinces back to the true faith, and I don't think we can trust the French to take care of that now, can we?
...
Chapter 5, Part VIII
In which Bruce is more persuasive than Barry
January 1537
Scene: A rather opulent looking room. Barry is meeting with a young man, very austerely dressed in black robes, and an older man in the robes of a bishop.
Barry: Thank you for the invitation to Innsbruck, your excellency.
The Bishop nods and smiles.
Barry: I understand you have an offer for us?
Bishop Hildebrand: Yes, my son. We were all very disturbed in 1534 when we heard that the missionary sent to Anhalt had failed to return the benighted people there to the fold of the Mother Church. We were even more shocked when we heard that the missionary sent to Wurttemburg had also failed in his mission. We have been praying on the matter, and now God has spoken to Father David here, and he is ready to go to Anhalt and preach to the heretics there.
Barry: I see ... No doubt you would like the Emperor to fund the Father's trip?
The bishop nods.
Barry: I am not sure we can afford it ...
Bishop Hildebrand: The war taxes you have raised will be sufficient for the purpose, surely?
Barry: *looks slightly embarrassed* Perhaps, but there are so many other areas needing money. There is a war on, you know?
Father David: I know, the war against the work of Satan is never-ending.
The Bishop places a hand on Father David's shoulder.
Bishop Hildebrand: My son, I believe that the Duke is referring to more temporal matters. The Emperor's war against the English is limiting the funds available to fund Father David's trip, it is not?
Barry: I'm afraid so.
Father David: God will provide for my needs. I have faith in Him.
Barry: Errr ... Quite. But consider the needs of the people. Even to offer communion once to each of the people in Anhalt will require significant supplies of wine. I'm not sure that we can afford to give you the money you need.
Bishop Hildebrand: Just two months ago we ceded some of our rights to collect monies back to the crown. As I understand it, those rights were then sold to one of the local barons for some 100 ducats. Surely that money has not been spent already?
Barry: *looking even more embarrassed* Look, we appreciate the effort, we really do. But 100 ducats isn't enough by itself.
Bishop Hildebrand: I sense the work of Satan in your words. *Looking at Barry suspiciously* Perhaps you are secretly a sympathiser of these foul heretics? Well, are you?
Barry looks very uncomfortable.
Barry: I can honestly say that I have never supported Luther's teachings.
Bishop Hildebrand: What about those of some of the other heretics? Hmmm?
Barry: My lord bishop, I follow the teachings of the church I was born into.
Bishop Hildebrand: A very glib answer.
Barry: But honest.
Bishop Hildebrand: *to himself* Luther's heresy started in 1521 ... so he's too old to have been born into them ... I have my doubts ...
Barry and the bishop stare at each other for a moment, before Barry looks away.
Barry: I think we will be able to find enough money to fund Father David's work in Anhalt.
Father David: Praise be to God!
Barry: *standing* Go pack your things, Father, you can travel with me to Vienna. There, we will supply you with funds and help you on your way.
Father David: I am ready to leave now. Let's make a start now!
The bishop continues to eye Barry suspiciously as he and Father David make their way out of the room.
...
January 5, 1538
Scene: Bruce is making his way through the most disgusting parts of the dungeons. As he reaches a cell and unlocks the door, the narrator springs energetically out of the cell.
Narrator: The Habsburgs' war against the English dragged on. Further English incursions onto Austrian soil were stopped in the north, while the fleet slowly transported an army around Spain to Ireland. Free from the interference of English fleets ...
Bruce: Damn English fleets won't come out and fight!
Narrator: You think the Austrians could beat them if they did? No wonder you stayed in Vienna. Now, as I was saying, in March 1537, the Austrian army landed in the province of Munster, and besieged the small city of Cork. The Austrian fleet sailed southwards once more.
In April 1537, the Austrian army captured La Rochelle, giving them full control over the province of Poitiers. With Spain already in control of Bordeaux, England's continental possessions were now in the hands of the Habsburgs. The Autrian army was ferried northwards, and in a daring move, was landed on the English mainland, besieging Cornwall. The Austrian fleet lingered in the channel for a few weeks, hoping to attract an English attack, but none was forthcoming. The Austrian fleet once more began the long journey back to Italy.
Meanwhile, the situation in Austria was not improving. In April 1537, the news came that the missionary sent to Wurzburg had also failed. In November of that year, the situation became even worse, with heretics sparking revolts in Wurzburg and in Anhalt. The cost of the war was starting to bite in Austria, and it was clear that the Austrians were unable to keep a steady flow of armies into England, so Bruce approached the English ambassador with a peace offer.
The narrator steps out of Bruce's way, and he enters the cell.
Bruce: The war has dragged on for over three years. It is clear that we will not be able to destroy English protestantism. Even the emperor recognises that now. Will you accept peace?
Henry: We may. What are your terms?
Bruce: If England cedes her French holdings to us, we will withdraw our troops from the English homelands.
Henry: Our situation is not so bad as that. What if we were to pay you some money instead?
Bruce: No, that won't do.
Henry: Oh ... All right, then. We will agree to your terms. Austria can have Poitou. Spain can have Gascogne, and you will withdraw from England and Ireland.
Bruce: But ... *pauses in surprise* That was easier than I expected. Can I ask why you are agreeing?
Henry: Well, just between you and me, I don't think the king ever liked Poitou or Gascogne.
Bruce: Why not?
Henry: Its the people there ... they're very ... French.
Bruce: Ah, I see. Its a shame that Henry has gotten on Karl's bad side. They have so much in common really.
Henry: They are also very Catholic. I don't think Karl would see that as a disadvantage though?
Bruce: No. In fact, Karl is very big on liberating Catholics from Protestant kings. One step at a time, I guess.
Henry: Err ... This peace treaty will be binding for 5 years, won't it. You won't be "liberating" any provinces before then, will you.
Bruce: Of course not. We have an agreement for peace in our times, and we will stick to it.
OOC: Poitou Pop 22 137, Income 15, Trade 11, Salt
Austria's new port on the Atlantic. If you look in the bottom left, it shows that, despite our victory against the English, Austria still haven't gotten hold of any maps of the New World.
