BrittAARny - For the Love of Craig

[boom]

BrittAARny

For The Love of Craig
(FTLC)

Welcome to my new AAR, BrittAARny - For the Love of Craig. This is going to be a fun AAR, where I may not survive.

Goals
1. Survive
2. Expand to Europe
3. Find the Secret Item


House Rules
1. No Cheating
2. No Diplomatic Annex
3. Must Turn Protestant (Yikes!)

The goals of my AAR, seem simple at first, but they are going to be more challenging than they look. For one I’m not a very good player, and two the secret is going to be hard to achieve.

The house rules are fairly simple, except for the third one. This one is to make it a little more difficult, if I somehow survive.

The updates will be random, and I will try to update as soon as I am done a session.

I hope you enjoy my AAR, and remember, it all fun.


Chapter 1: The Sound of Craig
Chapter 2: The Beginning

 

[boom]

The sound of Craig​

One misty night in the CBS studios one man works alone. This man is no ordinary man, this man is a great man, a fantastic man, a man…. Of jokes!

Craig Ferguson is his name, the man of all men, the man that will knock them dead. He’s working late like most nights, working on his show, when a security guard comes to him. This security guard was a nice fell’a, so Craig did not expect what happened next.

As the security guard approached, the lights dimmed around him, so only he can be seen. Only the security guard was around when he was near Craig’s desk. Being hard at work, Craig did not notice this cloud of Evil Dark Dimming Lights, or EDDL (E-Dull). The security guard spoke, a soft, yet manly voice.

“Mr. Ferguson, We have a mission for you”
“What do you want you cheeky monkey” responds Craig
“Sir, we need you for a quest”
“A Quest?! A Quest?! That’s not good material, there’s no joke in that!”
“It’s no joke, besides this show lost its funny a few years ago.”
“Well well, aren’t we so hippidy doo tonight!”

The security guard was losing his patience with Craig. At that moment the security guard said

“Back to z past you go, where we need you now, in the past to find what we must, to there you go, now be gone to the past!”​

“Stop jibber jabbing and tell me whaaaaa!!!!!!”

A flash of light, a quick spin of the room. Craig was feeling a sensation he has not felt since that semester of art school. The room is spinning, the lights are bright, and everything is moving so fast. Where was Craig off too? Was it just some bad coffee? A bad hit off the pipe? What was it? This Craig did not know.

 

[Didaa]

Awkward start you know
Anyway subscribed

 

[boom]

Awkward start you know
Anyway subscribed

I'm an awkward writer :rofl:

Mind explaining more? Good? Bad? Ugly writing?

 

[EUROO7]

Hahaha Craig Ferguson? :rofl:

Please tell me there will be puppets involved!

 

[Didaa]

I'm an awkward writer :rofl:

Mind explaining more? Good? Bad? Ugly writing?

It's good, but.. it's strange you know, a humorist? wtf?

 

[blsteen]

Craig Ferguson gets burned at the stake in fifteenth century europe. Did they burn warlocks at the stake? Or just heretics? And maybe with puppets to satisfy Euro? Cool

 

[boom]

The Beginning​

As our hero Craig wakes, the world around him has changed, nothing is the way he remembers it. He looks around and sees stone, not the normal stoners he usually sees, but stone as in walls. As he walks around he sees many things, some large, some small, but things he sees. As he approaches a door someone comes to greet him.

“Ah Craig, the fore told one. Welcome to the great land of Brittany!”
“Brittany? When did Spears get a land?!”
“Spears who? No this is not really a war land, we are a small country.”

“What did he say there?”​

“Yes, yes, you’re here to save us. With your superior knowledge and skills in warfare, we should be able to win and recover the missing artifact.”
“Hah, what are you drunk? Am I drunk? What are you talking about, I must be dreaming.”
“No, no, you’re in the year 1399, and you’re going to lead us through Europe, and around the bend. Here look at your country.”

Craig looks, and thinks he is still dreaming, but he wants to go on with it. Craig believes this is more fun than his comedy show on that evil network. The mysterious man never did tell Craig his name, but he shows Craig around. Meets the king, and gives him a pet monkey to play with. At the first of the year, Craig inspects what is happening.

“So…. What do I do?”
“You look at what you do, and your country, and then give orders.”
“Cool, Cool so what is this “War” thing you talk about?”
“It is where people battle, don’t worry you wont have to fight personally.”
“Good, I don’t think my monkey could take me dying without giving him a banana.”
“Well here are the wars going on now sir.”

“Wait, we are at war now?”
“Yea, well Burgundy wanted our help so we said okay.”
“Well no one told me!”
“The king did it sir…”
“Well…. KILL THE KING! With laughter”
“Yes Sir!”

“Wait, What did you do?!”
“We did what you said, we killed the king?”
“No I meant with laughter, this will be tough.”

 

[EUROO7]

I propose Craig should install the monkey as the new king. :nods:

 

[Didaa]

This proves one thing:
Humorists are awful king advisors.

 

[sir q]

Speaking of monkeys, I think the neanderthals in the county of Anjou would make good trained chimps, court jesters, kings, etc. Maybe should go get some for your country.