Brandenburg unter nichts: An AAR

[unmerged(6603)]

I also use word. I just put an extra "enter" in between every new paragraph.

For instance, If I am talking like this and saying some blah blah blah, I won't start a new paragraph.

But when I want to change paragraphs, I hit enter 2 times instead of one

 

[Lord Durham]

LJ is quite right. Anytime you change 'characters' when using dialogue, start with a new paragraph. The same applies to actions. Every new action should have it's own paragraph. Using your last post as an example:

-------------------

Dieter had been ordered by his lord, a diplomat in the services of the elector, to accompany him to Groningen, the major town in Friesen. His lord was now meeting with the local prince, so Dieter had been given the day off. He was only allowed to visit areas if he went with his guard, a local youth whom Dieter's lord had hired.

As the noon sun peered out of the clouds, Dieter and his companion were walking towards the marketplace, surveying the town. Dieter asked his escort, "Where are your guards that guard the market? Don't you have thieves?"

The attendant replied, "Of course we have thieves. The guards are merely hidden from view, so as not to frighten the citizens. Here's the market. Let's look at some of the foods."

They walked around the marketplace, surveying the wares, unaware they were being followed by others, those who were suspicious of foreigners.

Dieter stopped at a fruit dealer, looking over the apples, when suddenly a man rammed into him.

"Excuse me, sir. I didn't mean to knock you." The unknown man replied.

Immediately Dieter's guard put himself between the two men, saying to the strange man, "We appreciate your apology. Have a good day."

"I must talk to this foreigner and ask him what he is doing in my town. If you will step aside, please."

"I cannot step aside. I am on orders from our ruler not to let any harm befall this man. Please leave now."

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The white space between dialogue and new paragraphs makes it easier on the eyes. Maybe one of these days I'll do a primer.

Other than that, your dialogue and descriptions are strong. I've noticed an improvement with each post. Keep it coming.

BTW, thanks for the kind words MrT.

 

[unmerged(5383)]

Thanks for the explaning, LD. Maybe by the end I'll be as good a writer as yourself. (I crack myself up).

 

[unmerged(9081)]

I Like this AAr a lot. Keep up the good work.

 

[unmerged(6603)]

where is our update

 

[unmerged(5383)]

You found me out, LJ! I actually was running a test whether or not people actually care if I update. It worked.

Anyway, here's the update. No screenies for this.

1426
Kustrin, 21 Jan

Heinrich had returned to his father’s house after the
war. He had not brought Dieter with him, for then Dieter would
have realized that Heinrich was not a peasant, as he had
seemed to be, but in reality the son of the Lord of Kustrin. Today
Heinrich was walking around the local village, with his father’s
castle located on a hill above it, towering over him. He was
measuring how the villagers would react to a tax collector, whom
his father had left earlier that morning to look for. Heinrich
approached the local baliff’s house, intending to speak to him. A
cart suddenly ran across the road, almost bumping him, and the
peasant stopped, cowering in fear.

“Come here. What is your name?” Heinrich asked.

“I am called Albert, young sir. I am so sorry that my
stupid ox almost hit you, please forgive me,” the peasant begged.

“Albert, hmm? I have seen you before, but where? Now
I remember, you are the blacksmith’s apprentice. How do you like
your work?”

“It is okay. I am good at it, or so the blacksmith says. It
pays, so I do it, sir.”

“What would your response be if the baliff was
replaced by a tax collector, who would increase the taxes?”

“Sir, I would protest to the highest authority! If you are
planning to do this, stop, I demand it!”

“You would demand something from me? I have
forgiven your ox for its stupidity, but I cannot forgive you for
yours.” With those words, the normally forgiving Heinrich turned
into his fighting persona, and drew out his dagger which he
always carried, plunging it into Albert’s jugular vein in an upward
stroke. Blood flowed from the wound, turning the dirt road
beneath them dark. Albert stumbled forward, then collapsed.
Heinrich ordered the body to be left out, unburied, for three days.
The message was clear: no rebellion would be tolerated.

 

[unmerged(6603)]

Once again, I am gonna ask if you can double space the installments. It is SO much easier to read...


and it makes it look like your writing more

 

[unmerged(5383)]

okay, I double-spaced it. It doesn't go across the full screen for some reason, though, and the paragraphs aren't indented. Strange. Can someone tell me why?

What does that last comment mean, LJ?

 

[unmerged(6603)]

it makes people complain about the time in between installments less...


I didnt mean double space, I meant double space inbetween paragraphs. Check out LD's post a while back for an example. It doesnt seem to ever indent, I just gave up. If you double space between paragraphs, it will be easy to tell where each starts and ends.

 

[unmerged(5383)]

Now I have a choice to make: should I finish the game in 1.04(i've completed up to 1480) or should I restart the game in 1.05? Comments welcome.

 

[unmerged(6603)]

Its up to you... I decided to go on a playing binge an finish my game, and I am in 1535. I figure that I should have it done by friday, so its worth it.

It really depends if your enjoying the game or not... if the game isn't interesting to you, the AAR will reflect that...

just my thoughts.

 

[Lord Durham]

It all depends on you. You could probably update to 1.05 and carry on without buggering things up.

As for indenting, apparently the software on the forum disregards extra spaces and things like tabs. So it just won't happen

 

[unmerged(5383)]

LD, there is one problem with updating, I just remembered that I have the EEP installed. I'm going over to the EEP forum now and ask them if 1.0 is compatible w/ 1.05. If it is, I will update, if not, I'll finish the game without the new patch.

 

[unmerged(5383)]

1429
Brandenburg, 1 Apr

The soldiers marched with their new weapons, serving their lord. They had recently been refitted with better weapons, and they had watched as the hope of the naval-minded lords came to naught. The elector had decided that Brandenburg would pursue a more vigorous campaign of utilizing the land forces over creating a navy, which was impossible because there was no port. Some lords had wanted to attack Pommern, but they were dissuaded, and the soldiers continued training and defending.

Wurzburg, 3 Jul

Dieter had rested after his adventure in Friesen until the 23 of July last year. His wounds had healed by then and he had managed to convince(with much begging) his lord to allow Dieter to accompany him to Venice, where on 1 August a trade agreement was cemented.(ooc: I know the term ‘cemented’ is anachronistic, but I have author’s license).

Today Dieter and his lord were in Wurzburg, trying to get the archbishop to agree to an alliance. The archbishop was initially skeptical, but with a little incentive, (i.e. bribe), he eventually agreed. Thus the alliance of Brandenburg now included Saxony, Friesen, and Wurzburg.

Sixteen years had passed since Friedrich’s installment as Elector, and a decade since the war with Magdeburg was begun. In the next decade, Germany would be radically changed, some for the better, some for worse. Where would Brandenburg go? Only time would tell. (ooc: I had to use the cliché).

 

[unmerged(5383)]

Sorry about not posting any more this weekend, I was busy playing the game. I played about 100 years, to 1560. The game is very entertaining! Anyway, I have edited the Prussian revolt file, deleting Kustrin and Brandenburg from the province files, and including Prussia and Memel. I did this because it is very unrealistic to have the Brandenburg capital suddenly move to Silesia.

I'll update soon.

 

[unmerged(5383)]

1430
Berlin, 30 Nov

Johann had returned to Berlin burdened with loot from Magdeburg. Being one of the first to enter the city, he had managed to loot before Gadenow had issued his command to not damage the city any more. In April 1430, he had left the army, planning to return to his manor 20 miles outside Berlin. However, a friend that Johann had met, Ernst, had convinced Johann to join him in Supply, a division of the army that had been created as a result of the logistical problem of food and weapons experienced during the war.

“Johann, it’s about time to quit. We have finally equipped the army with the new pikes,” yelled Ernst, whose voice could hardly be heard for the sound of hammer and anvil.

“All right, I’ll be right there,” shouted Johann, who was persuading a blacksmith to work harder. “We need more swords! The knights can’t fight with sticks! I’ll need 15 of those by Christmas.”

“Come on, Johann!”

“I’m coming!” The two friends walked out the doors, heading for a local tavern. As they reached the tavern, which was next to the city walls, they noticed something amazing.

“Johann, the walls, they are growing!” Ernst cried.

“They are starting to grow, and they will be done in a year, by order of the elector,” Johann said. He then whispered, “I was in charge of hiring masons and builders to work on this. It was considered very secret, and thus I was unable to tell you.”

“Ah, well then, Herr Johann, I did not realize that you were a confidant of the elector. Perhaps we should go to Friedrich’s house for some mead instead?”

“I did not intend to offend you, Herr Ernst. We can go where you choose, though I would suggest this tavern ahead of us. The mead is excellent.” With those words the two men walked towards the tavern, and the evening turned to night, and the two men were drunk, staggering home around 1 am.

1431
Magdeburg, 22 Nov

Johann had been recalled by the elector to train these new recruits, 3000 of the finest knights money could get to come here, to Magdeburg, on this parade ground. Johann watched as the superbly trained (he had to do that, by himself, forced to do it by himself ! He wouldn’t make that mistake again, no matter what the elector said) cavalry galloped across the field, suddenly turning at a signal from him, to the obvious amazement of the crowd. Johann continued signaling the cavalry, watching them for any sign of wavering or hesitation. When they had finished, the crowd roared with delight. The elector himself was not here, but Friedrich had sent several men to evaluate the horses, their riders, and their trainer. Johann had been watched himself, and marked, in case the elector needed his services again. Johann did not know why he had been picked, or even why these knights had been raised, but he did know that all he wanted was to go home and live in his manor, getting gout at an old age(40) and then dying soon after. Would he get his wish? He knew not, only that he would serve his prince and leader as long as was needed, no matter what he wanted.

 

[unmerged(5383)]

Sorry about the slow updates. I'm having exams for the next week. Don't worry, though. Next Wednesday, at 1:00 CST, the floodgates will open.

 

[unmerged(5383)]

Exams are over now, and here is the next update, with a screenshot:

1432
Berlin, 15 Apr

“Not with your hands, fool! Eat with this. It’s called a fork,” the ambassador from Gelre spoke to the man next to him, grabbing his elbow. “And use a napkin, not my shirt! Who are you, a pagan? Where did you come from, the forests of Lithuania?”

“Actually, I was born in this city, ambassador.” The man turned toward the Netherlander, who, suddenly aghast and pale with terror, let go of the Elector’s elbow. “You have just insulted the Elector of Brandenburg. Leave this room, now! Guards, escort this beast out of my sight. Throw him into the Oder.” The guards complied and the elector could hear the cries of the ambassador from his table, using a fork and a napkin.

Gelre, 2 Aug

The scroll was read: “Due to the inexplicable behavior of your former ambassador, it is necessary for there to exist, from the moment these words are read, a state of war between our two countries and allies. We will bury you in the Oder by Christmas.”

The diplomat from Brandenburg, a Herr von Eschl, turned his back of the Netherlanders, who were shouting commands to their subjects, hurrying the army for preparation. Von Eschl was sure that Oldenburg, Gelre’s ally, would come to their aid. “Everthing is going to plan. Soon Hanover will be ours.” Von Eschl wrote in his report to Berlin. The Napkin War, as it would be called, had started.


Before the war

 

[Sam Vimes]

Anyway, I have edited the Prussian revolt file, deleting Kustrin and Brandenburg from the province files, and including Prussia and Memel. I did this because it is very unrealistic to have the Brandenburg capital suddenly move to Silesia.

I think it is the only way to get an interesting game with Prussia. once I tried without editing and I finally found my capital in New Orlean....
from there it is quite hard to continue, especially when you have CTDs nearly every month

nice game so far. waiting to see how it continues

 

[unmerged(5383)]

Hanover, 24 Sept

Heinrich had been recalled into the army upon the commencement of hostilities, this time upon a horse. As the son of a lord, he had been forced to fight, but he could choose whether to fight horseback or not. Having experienced the foot war, he chose to become a knight. As of 8 o’clock today, the army had been marching towards Oldenburg, as Saxon forces had beat the Brandenburgers to the siege of Hanover. A mass of fleeing peasants was in the way of the army. Heinrich ordered the 10 knights under his command to charge at them.

The knights wiped out the small band of peasants, who were incapable of fighting back. Heinrich galloped forward, for every moment wasted was time that Oldenburg had to prepare more defenses.

Oldenburg, 1 Dec

Heinrich had been scouting the woods around the city for about a month since the siege started. He and his small band of horsemen were looking for any path an opposing enemy force could use to sneak behind and attack the Brandenburg forces. Heinrich had dismounted, feeling an urge in his bladder. As he was slapping the flies away, suddenly a body appeared in front of him, with a small axe in its hand. The man slashed at Heinrich, who barely dodged the incoming blow. Pulling up his trousers, he shouted for help. Running to his horse, he managed to mount it all while trying to dodge incoming arrows. Help for Oldenburg had arrived, from Gelre. The Dutchmen, utilizing surprise, overwhelmed Heinrich and his small group of soldiers before they could spread the alarm. Heinrich fought hard, but ultimately was taken prisoner after receiving a blow one of his arms, he could not tell which. The pain spread across Heinrich’s body like the enemy across the Brandenburg besiegers, who were almost annihilated. Only about 4000 escaped to Hanover, from where they went to recuperate in Magdeburg. Heinrich was placed under guard along with other captives in Oldenburg, where he wondered if he would be rescued.