Whatever Happened to the Hapsburgs?
Friedrich Wilhelm III (b.1770, King of Prussia 1797 - 1840)
Friedrich Wilhelm III was no more of a military leader than his father, but he had considerably more determination and did not wait long before going to war against Austria. He did not let himself be troubled about having a proper excuse, but simply declared war in January 1799.
The war was swift and brutal, and all that remained of Austria had been occupied by the armies of Prussia and Siebenbürgen by December. Foolishly, the Austrians refused to hand over the occupied provinces, and the war continued at sea. After centuries of neglect, the Prussian navy finally came into its own, inflicting a series of defeats on the Austrians, until, in June 1800, Franz II gave in and handed over Napoli, Istria, Krain, Croatia, Bosnia and Krakow to Prussia, and Maros to Siebenbürgen. Austria now consisted, appropriately the Prussians felt, solely of the province of Austria, which was entirely surrounded by Prussia.
Friedrich Wilhelm set about salvaging his reputation by creating vassal states of Hungary in 1804, Naples and Bosnia in 1805, and Croatia in 1806. Meanwhile the Prussian colonization of Africa was coming on apace with Muni becoming a colony in 1803, followed by the neighbouring province of Mayumba in 1809.
Friedrich Wilhelm had hoped that by waiting he might perhaps find a legitimate reason to invade Austria and seize the last German province for the Prussian crown, but by 1811 the Austrians had amassed an army of 85,000 and were strengthening the fortifications of Vienna, and had still given him no grounds for aggression. He decided it was time to act before the job became too difficult.
He gathered the bulk of his army, over 100,000 strong, on Austria’s border and declared war in June. In July the entire Austrian army was annihilated, and Vienna was besieged before the fortifications could be completed. The city fell in late September, and on October 2nd 1811, the Austrian Emperor Franz II accepted full annexation by Prussia. Throughout the realm there was great celebration. At long last the German people were fully united under one crown.
Prussia now included no less than eleven non-German provinces, despite the numerous vassal states which had been created. After quelling a rebellion in the Italian province of Istria, Friedrich Wilhelm then decided on a change of policy, and withdrew all his troops to his German provinces. When the Slavs of Krain rebelled soon after, they were allowed in time to unite with the state of Croatia. In 1819, Krakow was also in revolt. In time, Prussia would thus be reduced to include only the 34 German provinces of Europe, not forgetting of course the 3 German provinces of Africa: Gambia, Muni and Mayumba, which, it was proposed, should be renamed Gamburg, Munister and Mayumburg. Later still, if it was thought appropriate, the Germans could have a go at world domination...
Europe on Christmas Day, 1819
And finally...
A messenger to the royal court of Friedrich Wilhelm III von Hohenzollern, Rightful Lord of all Germans: Your Unquestionably Greatness, I bring grave tidings!
Friedrich Wilhelm: Not another Italian revolt?
Messenger: Yes, Your Mysteriously Omniscience, that is indeed the grave tidings.
Friedrich Wilhelm: Stupid Catholic barbarians - why on earth are they revolting? All right - send in 22,000 crack Prussian troops to teach them some manners.
Messenger: Very good, Sire!
* Half and hour later... *
Friedrich Wilhelm: I’ve been thinking - why are we bothering to quell these revolts? We never wanted these stinking barbarians in our glorious German kingdom in the first place.
Court attendant: Too true, Your Wise Excellency. They bring nothing but trouble and Italian fast food to our realm.
Friedrich Wilhelm: Right - give the order. Recall those 22,000 crack troops immediately!
Court attendant: Yes, Your Excellency!
* Later still *
Messenger: Your Great and Mightiness, I bring grave tidings!
Friedrich Wilhelm: Oh good, another revolt?
Court attendant: No Sire, unfortunately I could not catch up with our amazingly fast crack Prussian troops in time to stop them from utterly annihilating all opposition in the rebel province of Istria!
Friedrich Wilhelm: Drat! Well, here’s a new order. All of our incredibly superior crack Prussian troops will forthwith be recalled to German provinces. And issue a declaration to all these Poles, Slavs, Italians and so on - they are hereby invited to revolt against us, their cruel Prussian overlords, burn their own stinking barbarian cities, pillage their own stinking barbarian farmlands, have a few years of total anarchy then go and pollute someone else’s kingdom with their incomprehensible languages, petty nationalist hangups, and disgusting foreign food.
Court attendant: Yes, Sire! Right away, Sire!
Friedrich Wilhelm: * thinks to himself * I fear however, that they will be all too slow to wish to leave our glorious realm. Why, oh why did those Hapsburgs have to be so expansionist. It makes me sick...
And there it is! For those who like statistics and so on, I completed the game in first position, with 4666 VPs, France coming second with 3409. This, incidentally was the first time I have ever come first with a country which is not in the original choice for the scenario. It may not seem that impressive, but this was in fact the highest score I have seen any country achieve in my relatively short EUII-playing career, so I am very pleased with myself.
My reputation at the end was merely “tarnished” (just under 30), which I was quite pleased with too
. My DP settings were:
Aristocracy: 3
Centralization: 3
Innovativeness: 8
Mercantilism: 10
Offensive: 9
Land: 9
Quality: 10
Serfdom: 2
I had no bankruptcies during the game, and finished with inflation at an extremely respectable 11.9%. My tech levels were high, land and trade being at maximum.
I have to say that I have enjoyed writing and posting this AAR immensely, and I’m glad that other people have stayed with me following the game and putting in comments - thank you all!
I did realize early on, though, that it only seemed to me worth posting an AAR if I felt it was interesting/entertaining enough for other people than myself to want to read, so I did feel a certain amount of pressure to try my best.
Otherwise, writing an AAR I found helpful for my own gameplay, as I tend naturally to be too impetuous and not think things through enough. This way I was forced to regularly re-assess my position and my strategy, and also got helpful comments and suggestions from more experienced players into the bargain!
So, a final word of advice to anyone out there who’s considering writing their first AAR: Go for it! You won’t find out how much fun it is till you’ve tried it!
Will I write another? Definitely! When? Not right away, but probably in the fairly near future. Watch this space!
