Okay McClippit, we're going to try this again, but with some ground rules.
'Aight
Rule #1: The English are NOT our friends. We will NOT be friendly towards them.
'Aight
Rule #2: We will NOT pussy out of a war, nor shall we pass up the chance to kick ass.
Kick ass like Cheney!
Rule #3: We will NOT take a loan from invisible gnomes in the forest.
...
Rule #4: We will NOT let the English push their way into our colonial territory.
'Kay...can we get on with this?
Sure McClippit.
Scotland and haer allies, France 'n Norway. With the combined forces 'a the England-haters, those bloody tea-sucking limeys are sure ta fall to our skirt-wearin' troops. To prove our might, we raised ourselves a army.
The Scotland Strikers stood at the border, waitin' to see if the puney English would attack. While we were gettin' a ready for an attack, our faithful ally Norway was 'a fightin' their own war, with Sweden.
Damn Swedes and their gothic rock music.
Scotland soon researches the taechnology needed 'ta explore unknown regions. With the new taechnology we can 'a explore the land known as Greenland.
Why do they call it Greenland anyways? It's not green.
I baelive the Eskimos wanted to attract paeople.
Damn lying Eskimos.
Excuse me good sir, but I believe it was named by the Vikings in order to attract their people.
Go aeway ya limey bastard.
I say, good sir, I must object to your rudeness.
McClippit, take this bastard aeway!
My pleasure! *hits limey over the head with a haggis*
Now, let's move on now.
Our old king died from eatin' a bad haggis. We now have a new king, Charles I! May he someday use the English King's fat ass as a coffee table!
Our Scottish navies maenage 'ta explore the cold-as-sh*t northern regions west 'a Scotland. There we find Greenland, and an island that we originaelly named the Isle Colder Than An Old Scottish Woman, but we then daecided to name it New Scotland!
We thaen proceed to colonize the heck outa these new lands, displacin' natives all over the place. They started it though - they attacked faerst!
Troublin' times soon met Scotland though. Paesants begaen revoltin' all over the place, and wreakin' havok all over our great lands.
Wae're screwed!
Yep.
Naews from the colonies arrived. We came into contact with Injuns, and despite our original idea of killin' 'em, we daecided to leave the bastards alone.
England offered us a royal marriage.
Decline! Decline! Decline!
We aeccepted.
Noooooooo
Oh shut up McClippit, it'll give us time to build up our armies.
Oh okey.
The paesants finally shut up, and peace raeturns to Scotland!
'Aight
Rule #1: The English are NOT our friends. We will NOT be friendly towards them.
'Aight
Rule #2: We will NOT pussy out of a war, nor shall we pass up the chance to kick ass.
Kick ass like Cheney!
Rule #3: We will NOT take a loan from invisible gnomes in the forest.
...
Rule #4: We will NOT let the English push their way into our colonial territory.
'Kay...can we get on with this?
Sure McClippit.
Bloody Good Scotch - A Story of Scottish Stuff
(I hope that font looks Gallic enough)
Introduction
Scotland and haer allies, France 'n Norway. With the combined forces 'a the England-haters, those bloody tea-sucking limeys are sure ta fall to our skirt-wearin' troops. To prove our might, we raised ourselves a army.
The Scotland Strikers stood at the border, waitin' to see if the puney English would attack. While we were gettin' a ready for an attack, our faithful ally Norway was 'a fightin' their own war, with Sweden.
Damn Swedes and their gothic rock music.
Scotland soon researches the taechnology needed 'ta explore unknown regions. With the new taechnology we can 'a explore the land known as Greenland.
Why do they call it Greenland anyways? It's not green.
I baelive the Eskimos wanted to attract paeople.
Damn lying Eskimos.
Excuse me good sir, but I believe it was named by the Vikings in order to attract their people.
Go aeway ya limey bastard.
I say, good sir, I must object to your rudeness.
McClippit, take this bastard aeway!
My pleasure! *hits limey over the head with a haggis*
Now, let's move on now.
Our old king died from eatin' a bad haggis. We now have a new king, Charles I! May he someday use the English King's fat ass as a coffee table!
Our Scottish navies maenage 'ta explore the cold-as-sh*t northern regions west 'a Scotland. There we find Greenland, and an island that we originaelly named the Isle Colder Than An Old Scottish Woman, but we then daecided to name it New Scotland!
We thaen proceed to colonize the heck outa these new lands, displacin' natives all over the place. They started it though - they attacked faerst!
Troublin' times soon met Scotland though. Paesants begaen revoltin' all over the place, and wreakin' havok all over our great lands.
Wae're screwed!
Yep.
Naews from the colonies arrived. We came into contact with Injuns, and despite our original idea of killin' 'em, we daecided to leave the bastards alone.
England offered us a royal marriage.
Decline! Decline! Decline!
We aeccepted.
Noooooooo
Oh shut up McClippit, it'll give us time to build up our armies.
Oh okey.
The paesants finally shut up, and peace raeturns to Scotland!
