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A very pleasant general indeed. May there be many more like him.
 
A very pleasant general indeed. May there be many more like him.
I'm sure we'll have a slew of generals like him. We're gonna be swimming in military ideas, something that I NEVER do in any typical campaign. Heck, taking QUANTITY is something I haven't done in a LONG time, and it's jarring how useful it is. Guess I never thought about it once I just used mercs for the frontline army, leaving manpower for cannons only.
 
Chapter 4: Operation Sealion
Chapter 4: Operation Sealion

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Belgium! I hope you had an excellent Christmas, it's currently 5 past midnight on the 27th as I write this sentence, so consider this a belated Christmas gift!

Anywho, let's jump into it!

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France has started integrating Castile, and they've eaten 99% of Aragon, meaning that France will rule over most of Francia and Iberia :eek:

Not like we have plans for them or anything ;)

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But, for now, let's get some extra scratch from the frogs by selling them Colonialism. Because who doesn't love money?

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Age ability time! We take the only sensible one, being Orthodox and all!

I don't remember when, but a while back, PDX patched the whole "inland forts counting as blockaded for purposes of the +1 siege age ability", meaning that it is no longer the single most powerful age ability in the reformation age. :(

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And now we're going full throttle with our ideas! And we unlocked another national idea!

Pick a God and Pray

There can be no way that a merciful god would allow such horrors to befall our people, and yet the Great War came. As such, we care not for which god people pray to, so long as they pray for our safety and victory.

Religious Unity +20%

So, we should be safe from religious unity based issues, for the time being at least!

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France peaces out Provence, and we get two provinces! Pretty nice of ya, France! :D

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And now, for no particular reason, let's look at Nuremberg. :eek:

All I can say is bravo! But they're probably gonna fall apart due to rebels or some silly war. :rolleyes:

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Now, it's time to bash the Dutch once again, with a side helping of Hamburger!

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And when I say we're bashing the Dutch, I mean we're bashing ALL of the Dutch we can!

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Pathetic show, Bremen!

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Hamburgers don't realize that they're food, not people!

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But, just like any good hamburger, they go down with ease. Especially if you have a side helping of fries and beer to wash it down! :p

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Now, in a surprise move, we annex Hamburg. AND WE DON'T GET A COALITION!

I know, right? Impossible, or so I thought it was!

Guess we're too good or something :cool:

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And even though we don't have everyone landed and in position, it's time for Operation Sealion to commence! Our initial 16k crack squad will be able to crush anything the English send our way!

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We peace out Friesland to make them follow the right flavor of Jesus (mmmm, tastes like salvation), and some cash and trade power.

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Holland also gives us their power and cash, because we don't wanna trigger a coalition once we take England to the cleaners.

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Speaking of...

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We wiped the floor with the English! All is right with the world!

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And in the meanwhile, we've managed to get our next national idea!

Mors-Minerva Armoured Cars

The battlefield is no place for slow movement. As such, the use of "Automobiles" designed by our future seeing scientists have allowed for quicker movement to and from the front lines. Plus, they have guns and armor, making them more dangerous.

Movement Speed +20%


Yup. We're super futuristic! Or modern. Or whatever you'd call a bunch of time traveling Belgians that have thrown caution to the wind and decided to embrace the butterfly effect. o_O

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And then we ALSO take the Innovative-Quality policy, giving us an ADDITIONAL 20% infantry combat ability!

Do you want space marines?! BECAUSE THIS IS HOW YOU GET SPACE MARINES, KAREN!! :mad:

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Now, let's see how our newly minted space marines fare, starting with a pretty bad fire phase.

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Oh, by the next fire phase, they managed to turn it around entirely in just one shock phase!

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W-W-W-WIPEOUT!

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And now, it's time for us to TRULY put ourselves above these primitive screwheads. But instead of showing them our boomsticks, we'll reinstate our Parliament!

(*I have no idea if Belgium has, or has ever had, a Parliament. I'm just gonna assume so, or at least has something similar enough)

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And now, before the age of absolutism rolls around, we're gonna give seats to all of our non trade center provinces!

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And we're able to push through issues with ease, giving us a much needed additional diplomat, and faster spy networks, which means more claims!

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And, while we're taking a step back from the war, let's look at the religious progress in Europe. We've managed to make the vast majority of the Frisian coast Orthodox, with pockets of it here and there in central Germany. Unfortunately, the other CoRs are in hard to reach spots, and not even an extendo-wand sponge will let us reach them!

(Translators note: The sponge thing means that the CoRs aren't in a nation's capital, meaning we can't force convert them away :()

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Man, the English must be desperate if they're making the IRISH fight for them, instead of against them!

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Different Isle, same results. :cool:

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And now, the peace deal! We take almost all of England's CoTs in the peace, leaving them only with London. By doing the deal this way, we not only get a lot more land and PP as a result, but we also block Scotland from getting too much land when they inevitably jump on the smoldering ruin that is England.

Plus, we also took most of the land that we can convert, as it's not Anglican.

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France, fighting the Burgundians? Of course we'll help! And we'll occupy most of the lands that we want, since you're already working on a siege for a province we also want.

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Next age ability is the one that gets us more prestige!

More prestige means less AE! Simple enough, no?

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Germans invading Belgium? NOT ON MY WATCH!! :mad:

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GET OUT OR GET DEAD, BRATWURST BOYS!

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Dithmarschen has dipped out.

And that's when we noticed our map of the world didn't QUITE match up to the one we knew and loved...

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:eek:

WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!

Welp, it's official. Time travel boned the Americas. No USA for us, it's all on us to stop the German menace!

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But you know what, who cares! We just harvested a freaking HUGE turnip! And we sold it for a king's ransom! Which made us better at administrating, due to investments.

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No peace deal shot from France, but they took a lot of land and we got a whopping 0 land from Burgundy. But that's fine, we can finally send our King for a long walk off a short pier, and get his heir on the throne!

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And then we immediately get another heir who is pretty good. Good enough to keep, at least!

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But alas, the Commonwealth doesn't like us anymore. Apparently, we're "too big" or something. Oh well, it's their funeral, we know what SHOULD happen to them.

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But anywho, it's time to bash the Dutch once again! MY FAVORITE PASTIME! :D

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And we've officially hit the point where we can vassalize members of the HRE diplomatically. We'll dismantle Germany one nation-state at a time!

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And it took them a while to realize this, but England just came to the conclusion that the nation who kicked the tar out of them wouldn't make for a good rival!

Also visible is the Scottish takeover of Ireland, after winning a war against the dying England in a vulture-esque fashion, as I said they would. :rolleyes:

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Thanks to our constant warfare and general ingeniousness with regards to guns, cars, and everything inbetween, we're able to reform our military to include something else. What is it, you ask?

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Why, it's the M1894 210mm Mortar (with Explosive Shells), of course!

M1984 210mm Mortar (with Explosive Shells)

With our knowledge of things to come, and the knowhow to make machines from many centuries in the future, we have created the ultimate artillery piece for this era: the 210mm mortar. No man can survive a shell this size. And if they do, it also explodes.

Artillery Combat Ability +20%

And that's where we'll leave off for now. Combat wise, we're very formidable! But we're also reliant on a smaller army than I'd like, and doubly limited by our manpower pool. But those are problems for future me. Present me doesn't need to worry about that, future me always is able to figure things out and pull ahead!

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
 
I'd bash the Scots next. Kill the lookalike wannabe Belgium!
 
(*I have no idea if Belgium has, or has ever had, a Parliament. I'm just gonna assume so, or at least has something similar enough)

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Well as Belgium only exists since 1830 it has pretty much always had a Parliament in that sense. Unless you meant early modern predecessors to modern-day Parliaments?
 
This talk of turnips makes me think that perhaps a certain Baldrick character is of import in Belgian governance, and that might explain a few things :D

I hope you have a fortunate and wholesome New Year.
 
This talk of turnips makes me think that perhaps a certain Baldrick character is of import in Belgian governance, and that might explain a few things :D

I hope you have a fortunate and wholesome New Year.

Belgian politicians are more like Minsc these days..

"Go for the eyes Boo.. Go FOR THE EYES!!! RAAH!!!"



Happy newyear to all
 
Chapter 5: Europe Goes to War Over a Dead Carpenter
Chapter 5: Europe Goes to War Over a Dead Carpenter

Hello everyone, Happy New Years! Welcome back to Belgium! After a break for the holiday season, I'm back and ready to go, so let's just hop into it!

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And what better way to start than with Scotland hating us? The Scottish are such a contentious people, after all the help we gave them! :mad:

Oh well, makes it easier for us to eat them then ;)

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Speaking of eating, we're taking Zeeland from the Dutch, and then making them a vassal of ours.

Why did we do this?

AE is less this way (and Zeeland is -4% WS? o_O), so we don't need to worry about them joining coalitions against us. This makes our growth period much less annoying, seeing how they constantly had about 50 AE against us.

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And as we were dealing with our newly made vassal, Austria decides that it's a good time to jump into Italy! And as we don't have anything else going on, we say "sure, we'll join and cheer on the Italians! I mean, cheer AGAINST the Italians!" ;)

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But, while we're on the topic of allies, our OLD ally, the Commonwealth, is looking a lot worse for wear. That's what happens when you stop being allied to Belgium, you get absolutely steamrolled! :cool:

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Thanks to our EXPERT assistance, Austria won their war. Which actually is a good thing for us. For you see, Milan has a reformed CoR in their capital. And now they're at less than 100% WS. So if we can call them into a war as a co-belligerent, we can destroy that center by flipping them Orthodox!

I'm sure that Catholic will end up dying, as is typical in the latest version, but at least we can slow its demise down.

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Anyhow, this is one of the Parliament issues that we will be going for when it comes up. As I said, this is a merc-less run, so we'll need all the manpower we can get! To that end, we're definitely focusing on idea groups that give manpower and recovery speed.

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And with that, we're kinda out of good age abilities. Since the blockade one got patched to work as intended, it's useless to us, since we barely have a navy (it's something like 12 lights and 20 transports iirc), we're just going to get that sweet institution spread speed.

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And not a moment too soon, since the printing press has just arrived! Between our location, and our insane amount of excess points, we should be able to get the institution right quick.

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Alas, it's finally happened. France and Austria have come to a head, and we must choose a side. *Sigh* Such a difficult choice...

FRANCE ALL THE WAY BABY, SUCK IT AUSTRIA! :p

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While France destroys Austria, we're going back to the British Isles to cause some chaos!

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Yeah, this war is pretty much wrapped up already. :cool:

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And apparently the English rebels couldn't understand that they can't win against us. IF WE CAN TAKE OVER YOUR ENTIRE HOMELAND WITH NO TROUBLE, A SMALL 28k STACK ISN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING! :rolleyes:

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It's time for peace! Now, I know what you're thinking, why did I only take that land there? Well, the answer is simple. One, we wanted to get the last CoT from England. Two, we were watching our AE. And 3, I have a plan. ;)

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Oh boy, league war time! This ought to be fun! Just gotta remember to choose a side...

But not right now, we have other things we're doing right now.

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Like praising John Wolfe for his great work at being diplomatic, while also not giving up all of our secrets we know from the future!

We had a BIG party with a huge cake. It was pretty sweet. There was even a clown, that's how great the party was.

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OK, sure France. You could have won that, but you didn't. You gave up too easily. You have a good 20% of the land of the Roman Empire (and some of the good land, too, none of that desert crap), and you couldn't win?!

AI, man. Makes you scratch your head. :rolleyes:

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...Shoot, we didn't join a side, did we? No, we partied too hard and forgot. Well shit. Oh well.

I MEAN, UH, EXACTLY AS PLANNED! BELGIUM DOESN'T WANNA BE A BATTLEFIELD AGAIN! Or would it be for the first time, since we're in the past. Huh... :confused:

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Well, either way, while Europe burns, it's time to descend like the opportunist I am. Let's roll, Pomerania!

But, before we get too far into it...

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Let's finish up our national ideas!

The Maxim Machine Gun

We are no longer bound to the rules of early modern warfare. With the Maxim Machine Gun, we can cleave through waves of enemy soldiers, all with a single man and a single gun.

Land Fire Damage +20%
Oh, and our ambition gave us another 2% missionary strength. Just as an added bonus.

So with that, we're at our FULL POTENTIAL, at least regarding our NI's.

Had I not tried to be sneaky about it, we could have filled these out a solid 20 years earlier, at the very least.

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Frankfurt gets the usual peace deal. Flipped, gave us cash and trade.

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BREAKING NEWS, FRANCE HAS NO HEIR AND IS LED BY AN INFERTILE 61 YEAR OLD QUEEN!

Looks like a Meinrad is gonna be on the throne in the coming years :D

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Brunswick is peaced out, but for a different deal. We made them our vassal. Why? Well, they have cores on a LOT of provinces. They expanded a LOT before they died to a combo of rebels and neighbors dogpiling them.

Which means we can use the reconquest CB and get the land for cheap. ;)

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And we peace out Pomerania for our usual deal. No need to eat them yet. Not while they're a heretic religion, at least.

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Meanwhile, Austria has fallen into obscurity. If we have a say in it, they will never regain prominence.

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And now that we have the reconquest CB, it's time to go to work. Oldenburg, you're first on the list!

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Easy-peasy.

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Now, this is something I love to see. We're at high AT due to our wars (and the fact that we have maybe 3 forts and only a couple dozen provinces, keeping our AT high), we're rolling really GOOD generals as of late, at least in terms of number of pips!

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Now it's time to go after Aachen, we just flat out don't like them!

I can't remember exactly WHY we did this, but it was probably to break an alliance chain or something.

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Now, this event came at a great time. We've been using the icons available to the Orthodox faith (right now, it's the -AE impact one. After 1610, we're going for the mapower recovery and discipline for the rest of the game), and it was time to renew the icon.

Just pointing out that this is something that I've been doing.

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Ulm, usual deal, get outta here!

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Bavaria, usual deal, get outta here!

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Looks like Saxony might have been our target, seeing as we took a province from them. Huh. I think they might have been allied to Bohemia and the Commonwealth? I don't remember, but I'm sure I had a good reason for doing it this way.

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Anyways, since we can't have peace lest our vassal give up the land we just took, we're going after trier next!

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Muster gets the Belgian special at the peace table.

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:eek:

DAT'S A BIG FRANCE!

Hope we can get it under a PU, otherwise we're gonna have a fun time fighting THAT Big Blue Blob!

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Speaking of the BBB, we can see how they stand up to the Ottomans.

And I gotta say, compared to our god tier army, they both look pathetic. :cool:

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Trier just flips religion. For now. We'll see what happens next time.

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Burgundy, that's a nice Luxemburg you got there. Be a reeeeal shame if something were to happen to it. But we can protect it, you don't want that nice land being hurt, do you? You don't? Well that's good. We'll keep it nice and safe for ya. :cool:

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Now, it's time for the war I talked about a good 30 images ago. We're dowing Stade for their land, sure, but we're calling in Milan so we can kill their CoR.

Also Friesland because they have no other allies, so why not?

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AND THE LEAGUE WAR ENDS WITH A CATHOLIC VICTORY!

That's actually interesting, seeing as there's maybe 4 catholics left in the empire. It might end up collapsing in on itself, who knows?

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And this (formerly rare) disaster is happening in France! So, what's the betting look like, will France go protestant or reformed?

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And speaking of religion, I'll leave us off with this map of Europe and their religion. Italy is almost entirely reformed, thanks to 2 CoRs spawning in Milan and Savoy. But otherwise, we've made a noticeable dent in the northwest!

I hope you all enjoyed, and I'll see you in the next chapter!
 
One has the appreciate the religious mess :)
 
go Belgium!

You might get succession war over France ...
 
One has the appreciate the religious mess :)
Who doesn't love a bit of a religious jigsaw puzzle?

go Belgium!

You might get succession war over France ...
All I'll say is that the next few decades will be pretty interesting. Any more than that would be spoilers ;)
 
Who doesn't love a bit of a religious jigsaw puzzle?


All I'll say is that the next few decades will be pretty interesting. Any more than that would be spoilers ;)

i'm pretty sure then that france gets unions over a PLC and Muscovy and then you force PU them.

Or something.
 
Chapter 6: The Calm Before
Chapter 6: The Calm Before

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Belgium! We're about 40 years away from us going bananas and trying to make a massive coalition, so let's have a nice, relaxing few decades this time around, ok?

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Milan is force converted, destroying the reformed CoR in the process. Only 2 left in the world! :D

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Next, we're going back to England, because we forgot to take something in our last war.

Well, not forgot. More like "chose not to."

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And with that, our hopes of getting a succession war are dashed. But we now have a much greater chance at getting a PU on the BBB!

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More peace deals, our vassal grows big and strong!

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We take a short peace with England, and all we want are their Wales. And to be fair, I think that they're more than happy to get rid of the Welsh and their impossible to pronounce words. :confused:

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Now, it's time to beat up the Danes. They've gone untouched for TOO LONG! :mad:

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And now, we officially have Meinrad on the French throne!

We're holding off on the PU attempt for now, we've got other wars to declare in the meanwhile. There will be plenty of time to get France under heel.

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This is pretty sad, Denmark. Pomerania is coming to help, but I doubt that it'll do you any good.

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Wiped out to the last man. As expected.

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This time, the Danes outnumber us roughly 2:1, let's see how they do this time!

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Thanks to OUR reinforcements, we'll win handily. But even then, we barely had a dent be made in our morale.

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18k Danes dead, for 3k Belgian casualties. Not a wipe, though. Unacceptable!

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Having crushed their army, we peace out the Danes. We won't be able to get much more, since we can't beat their navy and we don't wanna trek all the way to Scandanavia via Russia.

We immediately give our new lands to Lubeck, for safekeeping.

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Next up, it's time for MORE WAR AGAINST THE DUTCH!

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Unfortunately, we have to push people to join our army, since they've been dragging their heels. They claim it's the paperwork, but I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

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:eek::eek::eek:

You know what, I don't care if it takes an extra few months to get our new soldiers, so long as they're like THIS MADLAD!

This is the first 6 siege general I've rolled in over 3k hours of EU4 (unless I forgot one at some point). Just, wow.

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OK, that's it, we're getting England finished! After this, no more wars with the English! I mean it!

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This is a thing of beauty. Sieging like crazy, true lightning warfare right here!

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Throw in some boats, and we're at the max siege bonus possible!

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We peace out the Dutch, taking one province due to AE. I think. Seems like something I'd do, at the very least.

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A merchant dies? Great news, we can take their cash and use it for something else! What that is, I don't know, since we have manufactories literally everywhere! Maybe we'll get a really nice hat or something.

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Well, while we wait, let's go an keep doing our thing. Waging small wars on unsuspecting nations!

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Oh, what's this? France AND Austria have no heirs, and we have marriages with them? Spicy spicy, let's see what happens here. :p

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But, before we do anything else, it's time to say goodbye to Holland. We meant to use them to eat Friesland, but that plan never came to be. Oh well, diplo points were never an issue for us, so having them take a slot was no big deal.

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Next, it's time to end our war with the English. How? By making them our vassal!

This way, they can colonize the new world, and move towards the TC land that we'd like.

Sure, it would have been smarter to just let them colonize unprovoked, and then eat them later, but this way we keep them out of the coalition (and prevent them from becoming a coalition leader)

Just because I want to make a big coalition doesn't mean I want to have an unbeatably annoying coalition!

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The peace deal, colorized.

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Shortly after winning our war with the English, we spotted a comet in the sky. But, unlike our neighbors, who are bass-ackwards and stupid, we don't see this as a sign of the end of days. We just see it as a space rock flying by the Earth. And it's really pretty.

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Trier is next on our target list, so let's hit them hard and fast!

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Despite our wars, France calls for aid! And being the excellent allies that we are, we shall send that aid to Gondo- I mean, to France!

Also, we peaced out Trier, but didn't take anything. I think it was literally just coalition prevention at that point. Don't know, don't remember anymore. Probably not important, seeing as we gained nothing in the war.

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Next up, it's time for war against Burgundy! The stupid proto-Dutch-French barely have any land left, so we'll do them a kindness by holding on to it for them.

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Wiping made easy!

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Ansbach gets our typical peace deal, and they'll happily accept it!

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Ferarra is forced to send their trade to us, even though I don't think it's gonna do anything for us. But oh well, it sends a message. :cool:

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Lorraine is actually SUPER HIGH development, meaning that we're happier to force flip them for now. We'll eat them soon enough...

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Burgundy gives us two provinces, flips to orthodox, and gives us some cash. All in a day's work.

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Seeing how we are the scientific center of the world, it only makes sense that we're the cultural center as well! As such, artists are flooding to our beautiful lands!

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Holland is no longer. GOOD RIDDANCE!

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Tech reduction costs are coming hot and fast, this is why we're pretty much at 100 innovativeness!

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Next up, Brittany. They got spit out at some point, and it's time for us to get the last province for our state!


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Next up, another war to break alliances and get more clay!

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37 dead on our side, 6k dead on theirs. How tragic.

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Until the CoRs are gone, we'll keep sending our our usual peacedeal. And they'll keep taking them.

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Brittany is gone for good this time!

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Magdeburgian-Bohemian alliance: broken. ;)

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Next up is Friesland, again!

We really just like bopping them in the schnoz.

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Next, we feed Hesse her claims, and keep the war with Friesland going until they finish coring. Otherwise they'll be dumb and give the land back, like the idiot AI that they are. :rolleyes:

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And we'll end this chapter with what is inevitable in any campaign: the Ottomans rival us now.

Pretty relaxed couple of decades, but we're just a mere 30 away from us not caring about coalition avoidance. So consider this the calm before the storm, I suppose.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
 

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Sems Naples is doing a fine run to form Italy :)
 
Just a heads up, I've gotten a bit of a cold this past week, and haven't felt up to writing the next bit of this AAR. Hopefully I stop feeling so dead and can get the next bit up in the coming days. I'd like to get this AAR caught up to where I am so I can continue playing, since I've just hit the fun part.
 
Fun AAR.
 
OK, I know it's been a while, but I'm not stopping with this AAR! The latter bit of January and first bit of February has been super busy for me, life stuff, travel plans, and legal work all collided in one big explosion of time taking. That being said, it's calming down and I should be able to get an update out on Tuesday. Let's hope I can remember what happened and my reasoning for doing things!
 
Chapter 7: And 0 F*cks Were Given
Chapter 7: And 0 F*cks Were Given

Hello again, and welcome back to the glorious Belgium AAR! According to pollsters, we don't exist, just like Belgium! :rolleyes:

But we're back baby, let's get rolling!

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Right now, we're looking down the barrel of a potential regency council, or worse, a low legitimacy heir from France! :eek:

But it's fine, he'd be a Meinrad, so we can still get the french throne. We're staying at war though, to keep us out of the realms of PU-underling-hood.

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Speaking of war, we peaced out Friesland for something not worth mentioning, I'm sure, and we're now looking at the Saxons of Saxony! They have land that our vassals have claimed, and we're more than happy to claim it for them, and by proxy, ourselves :D

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Lucky us, the throne is safe! Sure, better admin abilities would be nice, but hey, at least he can fight a war!

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Three peace deals, only one of them worth talking about. Our vassals got their claims, and for minimal AE. But pretty soon, we're not gonna care about such petty things as AE.

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Speaking of vassals, let's get Bavaria back to being big and strong!

Plus we get to beat on Bohemia, them and their stupid HCC ideas... :mad:

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I think all our military ideas are paying off! I think this is related to quantity ideas. Or maybe not, I don't know. All I know is that I rarely ever take quantity, since I'm usually big enough and rich enough to not need the group. But for Belgium, our empire's size IS a bit of a limiting factor.

That and my refusal to use mercs, seeing how they're (as of writing this) being gutted in 1.30

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Speaking of military, just look at our glorious stats! 120% discipline, 6.6 morale! We're a real force to be reckoned with!

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We could do with some more cannons, though. ;)

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We crushed Bohemia and forced them out of the war for 100 WS. We took no land, I THINK we might have humiliated them or something. Either way, we got a big truce with them for now.

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And we got Bavaria's cores back. And there was much rejoicing!

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Speaking of core retrieval... Hey Brunswick, you got some stuff you wanna repossess? :cool:

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Gotta love getting free stability from your advisers, that tech reduction cost might actually be useful!

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Brunswickian cores get.

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Next on the chopping block is Scotland. The Belgians and Scots are natural enemies, like the Germans and Belgians, or the Dutch and Belgians, or the Italians and Belgians, or Belgians and other Belgians! Damn Belgians, you ruined Belgium! :mad:

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GET YOUR KNOCKOFF BELGIAN YELLOW AWAY FROM MY LANDS!

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We took land and then gave it back to England. They were... happy? I think? I dunno, the Brits are always so hard to read. :confused:

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MORE WAR MORE WAR!

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And apparently we're too big and scary for the Commonwealth to be our rival. Little ol' us makes the PLC quake in their boots. :rolleyes:

And rightly so!

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War, once you pop you just can't stop!

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Trier is now our vassal. Who needs diplo points, anyways?

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Pomerania gets off with a light warning.

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Over here in Belgium, we're declaring wars like they're going out of stock!

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Luneburg is friendless now. Serves them right, THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID!

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Our future medicine has finally spread to more of the masses, meaning that less people are dying of stubbed toes, and can make more stuff!

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ULM! YOU WILL BE ORTHODOX AND YOU'LL LIKE IT! :mad:

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Munster gets one more reprieve from our onslaught.

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Cologne, time to die. We're sick of your scent wafting over into our lands!

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Mo' money, mo' relations w/France. :cool:

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Pathetic display, Austria. Might have done more damage if you ran at us, chins-first!

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We spawn global trade, who else would?

And that means we're a scant 10 years away from the age of absolutism... ;)

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Thanks to our endless wars and massive pile of military ideas, we have insane amounts of AT, giving us some pretty decent generals! :p

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Danzig, you gotta ask yourself "Why Die for Cologne?"

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Really, you should consider it.

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Unfortunately, we weren't able to get admin 17 with our tech reduction. But still, 1000 points for admin efficiency is admin well spent.

Plus we gain innovativeness, we're nearing 100 now.

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Lorraine, get in mah belly!

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Austria, just stop. You're embarrassing yourself. :oops:

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Danzig's gonna stop dying for Cologne, even if we have to hold their hand as they sign the peace deal!

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Now, a French Throne Update! They have no heir, and their king ascended with not great legitimacy, so we have a good window to claim the throne and just win the game outright. But we should really tie up loose ends first.

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Austria gives Bavaria back some of their cores. And we break them up with Naples. I'd actually LOVE to see Italy form, it's such a rare occurance.

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Nurnberg, it's time for your trial. :cool:

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Bohemia smelled the bloody and friendless Chins of Austria and are descending like the vulturous blob they are.

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Saxony, time to finish cleaning up your mess.

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Cologne is dead, and we don't need to smell their rotten scent anymore!

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That's a lot of AE for just a few provinces.

...

Eh, fuck it, BALLS TO THE WALL MODE ENGAGED!

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BALLS TO THE WALL!

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BALLS TO THE WALL!

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Bohemia lost, but barely anything. Austria needs to learn more about BALLS TO THE WALL MODE! Or, as it's called where I'm from, "Eh, Fuck It" mode!

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FROM THE WINDOOOOOOOWS...!

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...TO THE WALLS!

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Saxony should have just given up, now that we don't care about AE.

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Professionalism and discipline for 10% less men? That's an easy "hell yes" from me, chief!

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Yuck. Bohemia and Ottomans, gross. I mean, we could EASILY win, but that's gross and I don't wanna do that.

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Luneburg's time is up, they should have repented, but they did not.

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Good event, bad nation. I don't wanna hang on to Brunswick for 50 years, so I best avoid falling into being their PU senior.

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Anhalt learned the hard way what it's like when HRE AE modifications don't phase us.

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Friesland, it's FINALLY time for you to die. Nothing's gonna save you this time, bud. :cool:

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AE? Never heard of it. :cool:

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Bohemia is beaten to hell and back.

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Balls to the- hello, what's this? We gave land back... TO HUNGARY?! WHY?!

Oh yeah, that deletes the land border that Bohemia had with the Ottomans, meaning that they aren't guaranteed anymore. ;)

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Brandenburg is almost dealt with. Just a little more time and we're good.

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Anton has ascended to the throne, and it turns out his father was really, REALLY bad at naming, seeing how his younger brother is also named Anton.

Either that or he really wanted an Anton to rule Belgium.

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Time for round 2, Scotland!

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Aww, that's sweet, France likes us. And we like them.

Well, their throne, to be specific.:p

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And I think we'll end off with the start of the age of absolutism. We've gone a bit ahead of schedule with our AE ignoring, but who cares. It's just a number, right?

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you in my next update!
 
nice update.. balls to the wall!

are there even a lot of hre princes left that are catholic?