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ilikepie said:
i live in a free country and can post usseles comments if i so please. including this one.

NO! :mad:

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Update in less than an hour!!! :D
 
ilikepie said:
i live in a free country and can post usseles comments if i so please. including this one.

Nope. You have agreed to a User Agreement on this board, which includes following the forum rules. The relevant part being:

13. You will not flood or post on the forums redundant, empty, or nonsensical posts or advertisements as determined by Paradox staff (i.e. no "spamming").

;)
 
Looks like a challenge, consider me subscribed.
 
Bavaria: A German Culture AAR
Chapter I

Hello, I am Ernst I of Bavaria. I was listening to the peasants yesterday, and they had a great idea. They said :

"You know what no one has done?"

"What?" Said the other peasant.

"No one has made a story of the great state of Bavaria"

"Yes, someone should do that."

-------------------

So after hearing this, the peasants were punished for having thoughts of their own, and I began my personal goal to unite the German people!!!

-------------------

If you believed that, then I have accomplished my goal. That's not the real reason!!!

I just wanted something to do.... :rofl:

Now then, here is a map I had my advisor draw:

BAV1.gif

As you can see, I have alot to do.

First, I become a Despotic Monarch, because I like the name of it!

EU3_1-4.jpg

Here, you can see that I, Ernst I of Bavaria, have nice dots!!!

EU3_2-3.jpg

Now here is a picture of when I was lifted up to the sky by a great bird and I had my advisor brought up and draw a picture:

EU3_3-3.jpg

Those are my giant soldiers!

I only have two, though. :(

I should make more...

Here, one of my dependants (I forget which) married one of the dependants of my neighbour, Mr. Habsburg.

EU3_4-2.jpg

I was happy because this meant that Mr. Habsburg would not recieve the wrath of my armies... soon...

Then, I had my advisor split into four, and sent him to my weaker neighbours.

EU3_5-3.jpg

Milan is lucky that I only care about my fellow Germans and not those lesser Italians!!! Otherwise, they would taste the wrath of the German people!!!

Poland, now that it was safe behind my alliance, decided to attack the kingdom of Mazovia.

EU3_6-2.jpg

I decided to help, because Poland would have surely failed without my help.

And lastly, I show you this:

EU3_7-3.jpg

I accept, for now...

Tomorrow, I will bring news of my war with the so called Holy Roman Emperor, and many small states around me!!!
 
EUROO7 said:
...

Then, I had my advisor split into four, and sent him to my weaker neighbours.

...

I'm sure Poland, Burgundy, Aquiliea and Milan were confused when they received a box with a quarter of an advisor in it. Maybe that's why Milan refused your alliance request.
 
FYROM said:
I'm sure Poland, Burgundy, Aquiliea and Milan were confused when they received a box with a quarter of an advisor in it. Maybe that's why Milan refused your alliance request.

Yes, I think that's it.

They probably got the 4th Quadrant of my advisor.

:rofl:
 
comagoosie said:
Finally an update. Three pages of shifting for one update, what a record!

I see you have secured yourself some powerful neighbors.

But it is they, who have secured the MOST powerful neighbor!!! :D
 
Great stuff, and just because you don't want their provinces doesn't mean that you can't go to war with Milan. Crushing their armies and economy is good enough ;)
 
Gigalocus said:
I like the similies! They're fresh, you have my golden hand seal of approval for full Annexation of Germany!

Thank you!!!

And I shall do so swiftly!

Warpimp said:
nice start. poland will be a great help in bringing down the emperor...i mean, poland will be grateful for you saving them from the imperial armies. GO BAVARIA!

I am glad you start to see things the way they are...

:D

spl said:
Something tells me Poland will like dragging you into wars ;)

Who is this something, and why is it telling you these traitorous thoughts!!! :mad:

;)

Flooper X said:
Great stuff, and just because you don't want their provinces doesn't mean that you can't go to war with Milan. Crushing their armies and economy is good enough ;)

Shhh...

Don't say that so loud, the peasants might hear you!!! ;)


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Update within the hour! :D
 
Bavaria: A German Culture AAR
--
Chapter II: The War of
Meissen Succession!

Hello, I am Ernst I of Bavaria. And you are all peasants. You live to serve me. That is your only purpose. Now, go fetch me a tupee!

Now, onto the Mazovian War.

As you, the peasant, may recall, I, the King of Bavaria, was last at war with Mazovia.

Well, I, Ernst I of Bavaria, decided that they should be placed under the protection of my allies, the Poles.

EU3_1-5.jpg

Now that I, Ernst I of Bavaria, was at peace, I, Ernst I of Bavaria, could begin my "Very Convoluted Plan ©". For short, I, Ernst I of Bavaria, will refer to it as my "VCP©".

My first action is to send my advisor (Pictured) to the king of Wurttenburg. There, he is to let the King of Wurttenburg, beg to him to let him marry one of my dependants.

EU3_2-4.jpg

But as my advisor arrived, so did an envoy from my weaker allies, the Poles. A War Of Succession! :mad: How dare my advisor not advise me this was coming!!! :mad: Very well, my "VCP©" will have to wait for next time.

EU3_3-4.jpg

I, Ernst I of Bavaria, in my infinite knowledge, rush to save the Nice German People under the oppressive rule of the Unholy Unroman Unemperor!

EU3_4-3.jpg

My weaker allies, the Poles, start throwing rocks at the walls of Prague. Like that will ever work! :rofl:

EU3_6-3.jpg

But the Unholy Unroman Unemperor is a sneaky man. He managed to cross through his lands without waking the Polish army. He is now besieging my northern most city!!! How useful is an advisor who doesn't see this coming!!! :mad:

EU3_7-4.jpg

But as they start to use their weak canons at the imposing and inpenetrable walls of Oberpfalz, I, Ernst I of Bavaria, recieve word that the people of Niederlausitz mistakenly thought we were the enemy. They open their doors to their savior, I, Ernst I of Bavaria.

EU3_8-3.jpg

The walls of Prague are weaker than I, Ernst I of Bavaria, had thought, if they fall at the sight of mere poles throwing rocks.

EU3_9-2.jpg

Oberlausitz finally realizes that I, Ernst I of Bavaria, am not the enemy, but the ally!

EU3_10-2.jpg

Unfortunatly, I, Ernst I of Bavaria, was not able to reach the weak army of the Unholy Unroman Unemperor.

EU3_11-1.jpg

As soon as I, Ernst I of Bavaria, arrive at the gates of Oberpfalz, my people welcome me with open arms!

EU3_12-2.jpg

The Unholy Unroman Unemperor refuses to accept defeat. :mad: Therefore, I, Ernst I of Bavaria, am forced to march my army north to the center of this war. The Saxon region of Meissen. I, Ernst I of Bavaria, soundly defeat the unimposing army of Meissen.

EU3_13-2.jpg

And their city does not fail to recognize their savior, I, Ernst I of Bavaria.

EU3_14-2.jpg

The Unholy Unroman Unemperor is brought before me and is forced to beg for mercy. I, Ernst I of Bavaria, place my demands that he release the oppressed people of Niederlausitz and Oberlausitz to me. He has no choice but to accept.

EU3_15-2.jpg

The Poles eventually occupy the rest of Bohemia and place their demands onto the Unholy Unroman Unemperor.

EU3_16-2.jpg

Now that I, Ernst I of Bavaria, Vanquisher of Unholy Unroman Unemperors, am at peace once again, I, Ernst I of Bavaria, Vanquisher of Unholy Unroman Unemperors, may resume my "VCP©". I, Ernst I of Bavaria, Vanquisher of Unholy Unroman Unemperors, make my advisor laugh maniacally, just for the occasion.

EU3_18-1.jpg

--------------

Next time: The "VCP©"
 
Warpimp said:
:rofl: great advisor pics!

Thank you, I had my advisor draw them.