Baphomet - Veiled Knowledge

[Herbert West]

Still, the she-devil!

So I succeeded. Good, good

Oh, and dear lurkers, please, comment as well.

:attention-whore:

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

Poor Daniel seems to be paying a high price to get answers. That or he doesn't know where to find them. That, or they have found him first.

 

[Herbert West]

Into The Crypt Of Rays

​

It was cold. Bone-chilling, stone-dry cold. Daniels limbs felt numb, and his mind was fogged and half-blank. As he became aware of himself, the biting chill made feeling return to his hands and feet with a sting of pain, one that for a moment brushed away the fog from his mind. In this moment of clarity he observed his surroundings: Dark grey stone all around him, in a light that was somehow of a dirty, greyish colour as well, and seemed to shine from nowhere in particular. As he tried to stand up, he saw that most of the cold came from a thick layer of white for about as deep as the height of his feet. Standing upright, with limbs still numbed gave him another sting of pain, one that brought back remembrance. His last memory was that of the she-devil temptress and her violation of his body. But how did he get here, then? And where was that here?

Such questions brushed away more and more of his mind-fog, and all his memories returned to him, with a deeply sorrowing feeling of nostalgia, bliss, and loss. He remembered every detail of his life with an unknown clearness, but also with a feeling of distance. As if those things had happened to someone else.

But thinking about that was of no use now, for at first he had to find out where he was, and how to get out of there, for wherever he was, he felt an unpleasant presence linger. He looked around more observantly, and saw that he was in a dome of some kind, with one clear passage hewn into the rock to his right. He walked around in the dome, but saw only raw rock, and that passage. So that must be how he got here. The entrance to the passage was of some other kind of rock, that was black in this grey light, and must have been carved with figures long ago, for that were faint markings left on the uneven surface, but it was to dark to see and too shallow to feel with his hand. He made his way trough it, a bit relieved.

But now, that the immediate task of finding a way out seemed to be done, questions and doubts returned.

How did he get here? The she-devil must have fed him something, and must have dragged him here, surely. The fog underneath his feet was much too dense to allow him to see the ground, though, but it felt like a sensible answer. But why is it so cold in here? What is this thick fog, and why does it freeze my feet of? Why can I see anything at all? It should be pitch-black here, like in caves. What this a cave at all, or some dungeon? Where am I?! Am I dead?

He bit into his fingers, feeling the pain. No, his flesh was alive. And freezing. Whenever he stopped moving, or stopped a thought, he felt immense cold sweep over him, sapping his strength, so it was the wisest to keep moving despite the numbness.

The ground was sloping slightly, puzzling Daniel. Why was he going downwards? But then, a figure appeared before him.

Hannah. Her elegant face was scarred by a sad stare.

Why have you forgotten me? – she asked him, in a voice filled with sorrow.

And yes, he had forgotten of her. Ever since he entered the Order, Hannah became a lingering warm memory around the corner of his eye, but he never really thought of her. She was a part of a life he no longer lead. Her question released a throng of guilt-knives into his heart, and he ran towards her, to hug her, to kiss her, but she disappeared. He felt to his knees, crying. What was this apparition? Who sent it? Why? From where? Hannah, my love, where are you?!

He began to pray to see Hannah again, but nothing happened. His prayer went unanswered. Like so many times before.

As the cold bit at him again, he got up and went on, though he could not tell why.

Someone whispered in the darkness ahead: Daniel? Son? Why have you forsaken your family? Our name, our heritage? Why are your ancestors now buried in earth you sold? The same earth that they won by blood hundreds of years ago?

He raced forward towards the voice, but again, he only found darkness. He did not kneel for a prayer now.

Maybe he was going insane. Maybe he was dead, and then this must be where souls are before the are cast down or brought up. Maybe he is stuck here. Maybe Hannah is stuck here. Maybe his father is stuck here. But why!?

A voice, his own, but not his own, known to him from his birth, but silent always, said, in the back of his skull: Because of the same thing that you have forsaken Hannah, for the same thing you have left your home, your roots, because of the same thing you travelled to Jerusalem, killed countless man, woman, and children.

Because of God!

The rest of him screamed out. No, this can not be! God is all-loving, God is merciful, God is pure, God is good!

But he knew he didn’t believe in this anymore, and the thought felt empty and devoid of essence.

With realisation, something crept up from very, very deep inside him. A black, tar-like stream of lava, built of contempt, of disgust, of self-hatred, of doubt, of abuse. A stream so immense that he had neither will nor power to stop it from emerging, for his guts where pushing everything he suppressed out, and the volcano of his emotions erupted.

God? Bah! I have given you everything, and have asked for nothing in return. I have given you my soil, my wife, my father, my blood, my very soul! I have fought for you, killed for you, and smeared my face with blood of children for you! And you torment me in return? If I am truly dead, then cast me down to hell! How can you allow your own creatures to be so evil? How can this be if you do truly love us? How could you allow that she-devil to seduce me? Why do you test me? Only to see me suffer? Am I another Job, a toy for your almighty hand? You do not love me! You do not love any of us!

Now, he screamed with all his voice:

Hear me! I renounce you! Do you hear me, God? I RENOUNCE YOU!

He fell to the ground, exhausted, shaken, and feeling hollow.


A door seemed to open, and the whole passage exploded with green light.

A woman with the head of a goat stepped out, and held out its hand to him:

Come, my child.

He took her hand.

 

[Herbert West]

Well, there it is. I am not completely satisfied with it, but its the third re-write, and I dont think it will get any better. Sorry:S

And I know I have promised this many times, and subsequently broken it, but I have figured out my scedule more or less, and that means that bi-weakly updates are going to be the rule.

And yes, the title is inspired by Celtic Frost

Kurt_Steiner: The answers are nearing

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

A woman with the head of a goat ...

Perhaps the answers have reached Daniel at last... The Templars are lost now in the fog of Time. Perhaps Daniel will find the truth in the midst of nowhere.

 

[unmerged(59077)]

Er, goat-headed woman offers templar hand. Templar takes it.

Your next move, God.

 

[Herbert West]

Er, goat-headed woman offers templar hand. Templar takes it.

Have I written it in an unbelievable way?


Sorry, no update till next weekend. The university is out to kill me, so it seems.

(edit: sorry for the improper english, I am veery tired)

 

[nette001]

Have I written it in an unbelievable way?

That depends on the reader. It might be unbelievable (woman - goat head - no mask? Hmm....), but still very enjoyable. (add "... interesting" after "Hmm....")

 

[unmerged(59077)]

Oh, no, believable enough.

Plus he's just young enough to do it. This was an encouragement rather than the other way around.

 

[Herbert West]

Wisdom And The Cage

Daniel followed the.. the woman? the beast? the thing... into a great hall, awash with bright, green light. He could not move his head, nor his eyes, the sight of the she-beast keeping him mesmerized, but he felt a great presence all around him.

Then, the thing turned, washing him in this presence, that was now a thousand upon a thousand times stronger. It was a force of pure spirit, of pure light, something that shone through him and burned away every detritus, every unnecessary piece of him until it stripped his essence bare. The feeling of it was overwhelming, his self becoming more and more free in the process, the shackles of matter torn apart. But the feeling soon came to an end and he felt the Presence retract itself. He looked up at it source, and, with a strange, yet familiar firmness, asked:

Who are you?

I am Sophia. Wisdom. Truth. I am the snake that curls into itself. I am what moves. Ask your questions, young one!

Daniel had many questions, yet almost none. In this new state of mind, most of what he wanted to ask was answered just by thinking of the questions, and the answers were trivial. Yet, he asked the first question, and indeed, the most trivial one:

Why do I not feel remorse when I have forsaken God?

Because no one should feel remorse for having freed himself of shackles.

So God is a chain locking me down?

Yes, Yabaloth is the cage. But I see you want to ask something else first. – and she smiled. It was a terrifying smile, the grin of a goat, but it felt warm like the embrace of a mother.

Have you brought me here?

No, it was you who has brought yourself here. I can not, nor will I move anyone who Seeks against his Will. That is what Yabaloth does. Are you ready to hear the Truth?

I am. – the young Seeker answered, truthfully.

In the beginning, there was the Void, and it was Empty, and I saw it as such. I felt the need of creation, and I created my first Children, the First Essences, First Ideas. I saw that this was well. I saw my Children dance against the black ink of the Void like a myriad of stars.

And as she spoke, Daniel saw. He saw these ideas, each bigger than the World, glistening against Nothing, their sparks irradiating the whole of it, and every time one spark met the other, a new one came into their place, enhancing the glow a thousandfold.

Yes, my First Children then created other Ideas and Essences themselves, and I crafted them into perfection. I filled up the Void, slowly, with my Children, until everything was washed in ourselves. And the Void was now Full, and the need for Change had arisen. I thus created Time, and with her, Birth, Death, and Rebirth. But the Void remained static, for there was nothing to be born into. And then, I created Yabaloth. I created Matter. I created what was to become The Cage.

What exactly is Yabaloth? – the young man asked The One Who Was Before Time.

He is what you call God. He is the Creator of my Cage. It is because of him that I have to waer this mask. He is the one responsible for this state! He is the Usurper! Becouse of him, everything is now corrupted! But my time in this form runs short. I must continue the tale, or your progress will be for naught.

With Matter, everything changed. What took aeons took only hundreds or thousands of years to change. Ideas transferred themselves into Matter, filling the Void for the second time, now in corporal forms. The first of my children formed the primordial stars and planets and planes around and above them. My kindred moved into these new possibilities with Joy. For now, things could truly evolve and change. Slowly Life crawled into rocks and the air, and the Universe was then teeming with life. Revolutions passed, my first Children died and rebirthed themselves into new stars, and slowly, Sentience arrived into Flesh.

But Yabaloth spun his webs all the stronger around our necks. Slowly, most of my Children were unable to exist without matter. They could only be born and reborn into their physical forms. And they changed, horribly. What was once Love turned into Lust, Sustenance turned into Greed and Gluttony, the Unknown turned into Fear and Hate, Trust turned into Idolatry and Reverence, and Truth became slowly muffled by the flesh. But I saw none of this in my admiration for my Prime Child, who, with me, now seeded the Universe with Life. But then, I noticed the changes, slowly, but steadily, and I saw that I was powerless, for I had no form to fight him with. I was who had filled the Void, thus I needed to empty it again. I called all my Children to me, and those who were Unbound came, and we started to Unmake what Yabaloth had made, star after star, planet after planet. Our hearts broke at the sight of our malformed and twisted brethren, but we had to continue. We unmade everything, but a grain of sand, when Yabaloth tore at us, and our grip loosened, and the Void exploded again. Since then, my Unbound have been strewn out in the Universe, and Yabaloths twisted now roam free. Since then, I and Yabaloth vie endlessly.

There is much more and much depth to tell you, but my time here grows short. In this form, in matter, Yabaloth can see me sooner or later. In this Cave, in this Crypt, he has banished my Form of this world, in matter, but I am free where he thinks I am locked. You must seek me out in my Dominion.

Where is your Dominion? Daniel asked, feeling no fear, no regret, no surprise either. Truth herself stood before him, and Doubt was long lost and burned away. He knew the answer as soon as he asked the question.


With this answer found, Sophia dissapeared, and with her, the Crypt. Daniel was found, a day later, by his Grand Master in the Well Of Souls. The Grand Master washed his face with a cloth, and Daniel opened his eyes. Then, he remembered the unspoken answer:


Hell.

 

[Herbert West]

Again, I feel like my ability as a "writer" is insufficient for writing what I wanted. Seems like i'm trying to bite of more than I can chew.

Anyways, I hope you like it!

And as an extra, or a lame substitute for the good update, here is some moodsetter music:

In The Woods - Karmakosmik

Winds - The Fireworks Of Genesis

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

As flesh is unable to contain the spirit, sometimes words are unable to speak for ourselves, indeed. But this update is wonderful indeed in itself. The old legeds about the Templars seems to become alive again.

 

[kalenderee]

Honestly? Baphomet (as I ASSUME the woman is, unless I'm getting my heathen deities mixed up and dear Baph is above her and male-ish) doesn't quite seem like she's ENTIRELY diabolical. Though this could be merely my attachment to the villains speaking, the only directly concerning bit of that speech - other than, you know, the implicit "Daniel's gonna get set on fire over this" - was her venomous commentary on the Usurper.

Fun story, though. And I'm not sure if this is what you were going for, but using italics for the conversations gives it a more surreal feeling.

 

[Herbert West]

Honestly, I hoped to convey a sort of gnosticism in the chapter, which thus put all that stupid bipolar diabloism stuff behind itself. After all, Truth is neither good nor evil.

But I'm going to write a little summary of the intended worldview once I finish the updates that deal strictly with that.

 

[kalenderee]

I didn't mean to be insulting, truly, but the kneejerk reaction to a portrayal of Baphomet tends to be "ZOMG MINION OF EVIL". If I recall correctly, that was the official rationale for smacking the Templars down. (Unofficially, of course, it was that they were Really Freaking Rich.)

I think you basically got what you were going for... actually, quite excellently, if you remember that Daniel's a biased narrator. My first readthrough I kinda failed at that and read it like I was watching a movie, which made the scene a bit more ham-handed. If that makes any sense.

 

[nette001]

I can only add to the compliments. Great stuff! BTW, do you use sacred-text.com as additional source of inspiration?

 

[Herbert West]

I can only add to the compliments. Great stuff! BTW, do you use sacred-text.com as additional source of inspiration?

In the past, yes. By now, what is to be the wolrdview of this little story is an amalgam of Gnosticism, some Kálí-inspired eastern sects, a reversed world of Pullmann (His Dark Materials trilogy), and some of my own wiev of the world.

I started out wanting to represent "true" Gnosticism, but then, during talks with my friends, and pondering on the tram to the university, the basic fabric became what you will see in a few updates.

Edit: do you guys like this idea of mood music, or should I not bother with it?

 

[Herbert West]

A moment of clarity
​

Mood music one (aslo title inspiration. sorry, could not find a better video)
mood music two (select Inno A Satana)


Daniel stayed silent while the Grand Master nursed him back to reality. He stayed quiet while the Master washed his face, then half-walked-half-carried him into a small mess hall, where Daniel was given food and water to drink. Daniel swallowed his food and drink without uttering a word. His eyes focused inward, and a terrible understanding weighed heavily on his lips.

The Grand Master put his hand on Daniels shoulders, as he did so many times to other Templars. Daniel finally broke the silence:

You knew.

There was no accusation in his tone, no questioning, no regret, only the cold statement of a fact. And his Master did not deny it. After another minute, one that crept across the small and dim room slowly, a single word banished the silence

Why?

Because if I told you back then, you would not have believed me. Because this is the way of things. We can not usher you into the arms of something you are not prepared to read and know.

Yet, it was you who sent me to the jews, you who placed all those obstacles and guides in my way, and you have just found me moments ago. Don’t claim that you have not intervened!

I may have placed choices in your path, yes, because this is not yet an influence on the level we reject. But it was always, always, your choice. You cold have slain him right away, you could have left the Súfís cave, you could have stayed true to Yabaloth. Yet, you did not, because your true form, your essence was demanding that you do not.

But I still do not understand – Daniel said. But he lied, to himself even. The newfound understanding that was now inside him saw that everything that had happened happened the right way, and the only way. Somewhere deep inside him, something that was what he could truly be, understood everything clearly, and was now observing the top currents on the sea of consciousness and self that this conversation was. – exactly why you have done this. I have absorbed many things, yet, I have digested few. Has my journey come to an end now?

The Grand Master laughed, but with a hint of sadness. He himself was standing in the place where now Daniel stood, and felt the same confusion and disarray.

Oh now, It has only just begun. The way to unlocking wisdom is a hard one, but a rewarding one. Nothing happens at the span of your finger. That is the way of matter. Hunger? Eat! Thirst? Drink! Lust? Copulate! Tiredness? Sleep! But what of the need of the spirit? Knowledge requires hours , day, years spent studying a single subject! Talents require honing, abilities have to be developed. A man can spend a whole life only reading the introductions and prefaces to the tomes of wisdom. Yet, you must not falter. You must be strong. We may toil in the silence, and in the dark, but when our toils will bear fruit, they shall shake the world. We may creep like rats in the dark, but our whispers terrify kings. Why, we even command the Temple Mount! Baldwin curs in his bed when he thinks of us. They fear us, and they respect us, and thus, we keep our secrets. They revel in their flesh, we feel only contempt for it. They think themselves high and mighty, but they are fragile, puppets on a string, slaves to the wills and needs of their bodies. Kings are not immune ot death and decay, but Wisdom is.

But why does the Church then consider flesh a cage, like we do?

Oh, they do not consider it a cage, they consider it a sin, and they revel in this idea. The Church is a very delicate ploy of Yabaloth. How many of the church-goes can actually resist the flesh?

Daniel thought about this, and nodded. Many times had he seen people praying in the morrows and sinning in the afternoon.

By declaring flesh a sin, they only made it more tempting. The forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter. And those few who really reject flesh take a sick glee in their rejection. They are perverted in their rejection, embracing pain for God, or for their twisted desires.

Again, Daniel nodded. He knew this type of clergy well.

Of course, we do have some allies amongst the pilgrims and the clergy, but they are a few and a far between, and hunted and shunned, as it should be.

I do still not understand why you could not tell this to me. Or those other ones who have walked this way before me. – The second sentence came from within that new place of clarity, but the answer came with it, too.

Because it takes a non-poisoned creature to withstand a monster that has grown and spawned.
You must feel the pain, absorb it, and thus gain a greater understanding*. You can not be given it, you must earn it.

Only a nod came as an answer. This was what his inner essence had told him.

The Grand Master saw something he knew all too well in Daniels eyes and speech. There was no need to waste time with trivialities and formalities. Flesh could wait. Thus he told the reborn Essence:

But we must hurry, the others await.

The others?

Yes, we must complete your initiation. Come now.

The Grand Master led Daniel down a path that had been carved into the rock almost aeons ago. Something inside him told that this was not the first time he had seen this way, this path. Sometimes he was led, sometimes he led others, but the steps stayed the same.

They came into a round chamber, with many templars standing at its walls. Daniel saw most of them earlier, when he was still a warrior for Yabaloth, and some of them were unknown to him. Some were old, so very old, yet they stood upright as beaming pillars of Truth, ageless and true. Others were still young in flesh, and a bit unsure in themselves, still clinging into the cages by tendrils they had not yet cut completely, but all of them were Essences, with all their might, power, and grace.

From somewhere beneath them, drums began to be sound. Daniel recognized the rhythm. It had been played in Greece, in Persia, in the East, in the high mountains of the Himalayan, in the far north, honour a dozen gods, all facets of Sophia. The same rhythm sounded a millenias ago when Egyptians first honoured Her, and it sounded the same when nations trod the earth that humanity has long since forgotten. The sound resonated with sunken kingdoms, with thrones overthrown and forgotten, but with knowledge and Wisdom always preserved and carried over. The ritual stayed.

Daniel knew what was going to happen, and stepped with the Grand Master into the middle of the circle. A brazier was standing there, the coals lit. Daniel pulled up his garments, and the Grand Master took a hot iron from the coals. The observers stayed silent. No need for words in such a place.

Do you, Daniel, accept your name?

I do.

And what shall be your name?

Daniel, for I am to judge God.

The iron touched his flesh, and Daniel let out a scream. He screamed out of understanding, acceptance, and joy. He understood now. While priests and monks rejected the flesh for Yabaloth, he rejected it for himself. Not for the glory of some unseen, mad malignance, but for the Glory of his own Essence. For the glory of shaking the chains, not reinforcing them. He let the waves of pain wash over him like a cleansing fire, he let the serpent bite its own tail and banish flesh somewhere into a portion of himself he was soon to burn away. He opened his eyes, and saw that a serpent now adorned the left side of his chest, one that bit its own tail. The Ouroboros, their symbol since time immemorial.

And he laughed, overcome with joy.

A question pulled him out of this state:

Do you wish to journey to Hell?

I wish it.

The answer was custom, and so was the question. The drums beat louder and quicker in response, and the observers were now gathering around Daniel, the searing pillars that they were terrifying something on the outer layers of his self, forcing it to scream out loud. His mind took this scream, clung to it, amplified it and pulled it down. This current of self was turning into a maelstrom of pain, something that pierced trough the strong chains of flesh. With his last drop of consciousness, Daniel grabbed the still searing iron and branded himself again. The pain shook him still of the shackles of flesh, and he fell to the ground.

During those slow, slow moments he fell, he heard the others:

Do you feel, do you absorb our pain the search to justify one truth
Do they feel, do they absorb our pain the greater understanding*

His head hit the hard stone, and his mind was free of its prison.


*:lyrics of "Repined bastard nation" by Satyricon, slightly edited. Copyright @Satyr of Satyricon

 

[Herbert West]

So, do you like it?

I suppose I could have made another or two updates dealing with the Templars per se, but I have gotten quite used to writing about Daniel only, and I wanted to dive deep and quick into Hell that I figured the explanation of how and why and where the Templar became gnostics can wait.

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

I don't like it.

I love it.

Perhaps it's now the moment to know when the change took place, nwo that, with Daniel, we are inside of the secret.