Baar

[King_Richard_XI]

BAAR
- The shortest name for the shortest* AAR -

​

I felt like trying out Bar for my 2nd game of HttT. I doubt this will last very long, so it will be some sort of Comedy AAR while it exists. Don't be surprised if I lose quickly.
This AAR is dedicated to birdboy2000, who so kindly bought me Heir to the Throne. May his name last as long as Bar's dynasty. *pretender revolt*

Update, February 17th - Part 8 is the last part. Thanks for reading!

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Part 1: The State of Affairs
Part 2: The Affairs of State
Part 3: Money, Money, Money
Part 4: The Country has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
Part 5: Consolidation!!!1!
Part 6: Expand the EmpAARe!
Part 7: The Big Bar Blob
Part 8: The End is Nigh!

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*I certainly hope I'm wrong

 

[King_Richard_XI]

~Part 1: The State of Affairs~​

Behold! Glorious Bar:

Serene, majestic, beautiful... perhaps the grandest army in the world, no? Ah, you may be wondering something... worry not, I shall answer that. Hang on, they're over here... not much room in Bar....

Ah! I can tell you are surprised: Bar DOES have an army! The BARmy Army, we sometimes call it, painful pun or not. Well, naturally we must protect our interests, and this force is just the thing for the job! 6000 angry Barroise, courtesy of our forcelimits of 1. Grandiose hardly begins to describe us.

It is expensive of course, to maintain such a large army. Most of that actually came from the Pretender who seized the throne last year - at least it paid off our 5 loans! But we do have a real source of income: Our merchants BARter far and wide:

No doubt now you begin to appreciate the awesomeness of Bar? Hm, perhaps not. Well, I shall show you what makes Bar superior to every other nation in Europe. What has brought us much glory in the last 22 years. It is this simple fact. Not 2 years have passed since it happened. I think showing you the picture will explain better than I ever could:

To victoglory!

 

[OrangeYoshi]

Ok, how did you beat France?

And how did Burgundy not eat you within the first months of the game?

And why are you doing it in HTTT when Burgundy starts out in a much weaker position in DW?

 

[King_Richard_XI]

Ok, how did you beat France?

They were at war with Burgundy, Milan and Austria, and I had 12000 men, mostly mercenaries.

And how did Burgundy not eat you within the first months of the game?

I kept bribing them, they kept insulting me, and I was allied with Bavaria.

And why are you doing it in HTTT when Burgundy starts out in a much weaker position in DW?

I don't have DW, remember.

 

[Enewald]

Where is your DW?
You spent your money on baar?

 

[Malurous]

Cool. It's true that normally Bar lasts months, so you're already a winner in my book. Of course, naggy may have different standards.

 

[aldriq]

No early Barricide, your hopes are much higher now... when are you getting a second province?

 

[King_Richard_XI]

Where is your DW?
You spent your money on baar?

HttT was a gift from birdboy2000. Haven't the money for DW. This AAR is dedicated to him, by the way.

Cool. It's true that normally Bar lasts months, so you're already a winner in my book. Of course, naggy may have different standards.

Don't compare me to him. Ever.

No early Barricide, your hopes are much higher now... when are you getting a second province?

As soon as Burgundy lets me. They and France have both sent warnings.

 

[unmerged(157031)]

As a player with much experience with grandieur and mightieness, I know that initially small nations are infact the grandest and mightiest of all nations! Onwards to victoglory indeed

May I just suggest you be a little more extensive in your nex post; people kinda want to know just how you managed to beat the big bad French and Bungurdians!

 

[King_Richard_XI]

As a player with much experience with grandieur and mightieness, I know that initially small nations are infact the grandest and mightiest of all nations! Onwards to victoglory indeed

May I just suggest you be a little more extensive in your nex post; people kinda want to know just how you managed to beat the big bad French and Bungurdians!

I wish I could be; I started the AAR when I realised Bar had been unusually good to me.

 

[Ivir Baggins]

Don't forget all the sheep that go Baar!

 

[King_Richard_XI]

Don't forget all the sheep that go Baar!

I'm collecting bad puns now.

 

[Svip]

I'm collecting bad puns now.

Breaking Bard?

 

[unmerged(157031)]

I'm collecting bad puns now.

Hmmm... I can Baarly think of any; Baar the ones I'm going to rattle off now, of course. You can't have them for free, though I'm willing to Baarter. Be warned though, as they are sub-Baar. Baar you tired of this yet? Me too, I think I'll go hit the Baars now.

 

[King_Richard_XI]

Hmmm... I can Baarly think of any; Baar the ones I'm going to rattle off now, of course. You can't have them for free, though I'm willing to Baarter. Be warned though, as they are sub-Baar. Baar you tired of this yet? Me too, I think I'll go hit the Baars now.

Baar humbug! I can't baar it!

 

[Boris ze Spider]

Why does Bar's CoA have a fish when there landlocked.

 

[King_Richard_XI]

Why does Bar's CoA have a fish when there landlocked.

If only I knew. :wacko:

 

[JDMS]

Interesting. I'll be following.

 

[sprites]

for victoglory!
but judging from our peace resolution screen , you must have lost a lot to have such abysmal prestige

 

[King_Richard_XI]

Interesting. I'll be following.

Glad to have you along!

for victoglory!
but judging from our peace resolution screen , you must have lost a lot to have such abysmal prestige

They laid siege to Barrois a few times and I went bankrupt and Foix roundly thrashed my armies. I am Bar, remember.