During one of the feasts sir Richard Mallory asked to be allowed to speak, with this favour granted he started.
"Good king John, I promised you once to tell you the story how did I become Knight of Pomerania and swore fealty to House of the Greif. I hope this tale is worthy of this magnificent court and feast. I hope that you all like it, especially you, Your Majesty.
As you all probably know House of Mallory is a old one and was always good servant of the English crown and church. My branch of the family originates from Canterbury where we hold lands and titles. Our family fought side by side with most respected knights of the realm on mny occasions. Know that my gran gran garn father, Joseph, may he rest in peace, fought on the field of Crecy and he was the one who captured two French banners and Count of Orleains that time.
Richard realized suddenly that he is telling the wrong tale.
“Oh yes… err… I was to speak about my humble service in Pomerania so here it is.
I am fifth son of Thomas, steward of eastern marches in Canterbury, as a fifth son my chances on inheritance even the slightest piece of land was always smaller then a grain of bean. However, I was young and thirsty of world and adventures thus I traveled much. Know that Noble king and Guests, that I am also a pious son of the Holy Church and that is why when I heard that Archbishop of Canterbury called a… guest err quest, I hurried to obtain some details.
In fact current Archbishop called a quest for a relic in order to make his cathedral even more splendid and magnificent.
Perhaps Your Majesty heard of this enterprise also? Archbishop Peter it was.
He heard that far East, pagan tribes hold most Holy Relic, which would be a tremendous add-on to his Cathedral – Holy Foreskin of Christ, Son of God. I wondered why he didn’t want to get a Holy Nail or Splinter from the Cross and one good priest told me there is now enough Nails and Splinters to build a whole row of crosses. An it happened I was directed to lands of Pommerania and Prussia.”
Richard pauses for a moment and sips some wine.
“I was three years ago when I finally arrived in Eastern lands, to my surprise it wasn’t really pagan lands but rather Eastern borders of Holy Roman Empire. This lands were well cultivated, govern and rich. And one thing was sure there was not a single pagan there. I was told there that pagans in fact DO exist but far away from there, in lands of Lihuania, Rus and numerous Hordes called, I really don’t know why, Golden.
However, as my directions were quite specific I started to look for Holy Foreskin of Christ, Son of God there in Pommerania. I took me a while to narrow my enterprise to less populated lands and places. One day I almost lost my hope to find any clue, and then near the town of Griefswald I heard that a Dragon appeared.
Your Majesty, Dear guests. It was like err... revelation, like sign of God. Perhaps I wasn’t worthy to find his err… foreskin but it seemed he sent me a Hellhound to war with. Local peasants, burghers and nobility were terrified, this monster was like a divine course upon their lands. This dragon, called Smaugoth, was horrible beast pillaging, killing and raping… He required a monthly tribute of virgins, food and monies.
Yes, good guests, I was also astonished with his demands, especially that he liked wine and beer very much.
Unfortunately it was a time of huge instability in Pommerania. Old Duke disappeared and his son just came back from Rome. Bandits, raubritters and vagrants occupied roads and forests. Griefswald had to deal with this problem all alone. I promised my help then and after three days of prayers and cough preparation, I went on the hunt.
I took me another three days to find the beast's tracks.
Smaugoth was a size of large shed perhaps even a stable. He was all black and smoke was coming from his mouth and… Perhaps his own words will describe him better later on.
When I came out from the forest, wielding my trustworthy spear and sword having best English armor on my back, he suddenly noticed me and shouted with somehow low voice.
“Hey ya ther, hou da hell ‘r ya?!”
I replied politely in german. “I am English Knight, sir Richard Mallory, I came here to defeat you BEAST and free people of Griefswald of your horrible presence!”
He shouted again, this time it was much better shout.
'My armour is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death!'
“Yeach, whatever” I said and charged the beast.
Each yard I approached the Dragon his was becoming less and less dangerous, in fact, smoke stopped to came out of his mouth and he was terribly skinny.
Suddenly he shouted desperately. “MERCY!!! NOBLE KINGHT!!! MERCY! PLEASE SPARE OUR LIvES!!!”
I stopped and a moment later everything was revealed. How could I be so stupid! As some of you probably guessed already – it wasn’t a real dragon but a mere fake.
Four pitiful persons emerged behind the cover. They were all bandits who developed this conspiracy to bring terror to nearby villages and towns. Although it wasn’t a dragon I served justice in the end. I escorted those villains to Greifswald’s town hall. They were prosecuted soon and hanged.
Although I showed them some mercy the major didn’t.
However, from that time I was known as a Dragon Killer in Pommerania. Nobody wanted to believe that I defeated four lousy peasants and all my explanations were worth nothing to them. Finally, I was called to meet Regent and Protector of Pommerania, Joachim of the Greif, himself. He thanked me and gave some lands near Greifswald. He also granted me a title of the knight of the Greif and asked to be a part of his retinue. I accepted his generous offer and that is how I became servant of House of the Greif and swore them fealty.
Riachard finish his wine and smiles.
"Your Majesty, Dear Guests, I hope you enjoyed this tale as much as I do retelling it."
He stands up and bows slightly.
