- ARCHIVE - Ducal Court of Brandenburg

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Nurnberg

Johann paused for a moment upon hearing King Renés reply.

It is no doubt in my mind that your cause is just against that greek chismatic. Raising the levies takes time, but what I can do is send some of my ducal guard. They may not be many, but they are valiant men and their commander is one of the best I have ever had the pleasure of serving under me.

Johann then heard what the King had to say about his daughter.

It would be an honor to have your daughter as a guest in Berlin. And I can assure you she would be quite safe and taken care of. No compensation would be nescessary though.

 

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Nurnberg

Johann raised his goblet to Leopold von Brunn.

I have to admit that fox is not exactly on the top of my list as far as culinary delights go your eminence. And well hunted indeed to you too. That was quite a display of horsemanship you showed there.

At the mention of travelling Johann sighed.

I am afraid my travels will next take me to Bremen for a meeting. Even though what will be discussed there might prove to be quite important I am sure it will not be nearly as interesting as todays ride. What about you sir knight? Any plans for where to ride next?

If you ever find yourself in Brandenburg you will be most welcome to stay in the ducal palace as my guest. When time allows, perhaps you would like to come for a visit? The road between Wurzburg and Brandenburg is not too long after all. Apart from hunting I am sure there would be other things that could interest your eminence as well.

 

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It was a lazy morning in Brandenburg. At least it was for Johann Frederick. While most of the inhabitants of the castle had been up for hours he had slept until noon. Stretching out and yawning he went in search of something to eat.

But what was all the ruckuss in the courtyard below? Men at arms preparing to leave for a journey? Down there was the guard captain Heinrich von Sellen also. Walking down to greet them JF came out into the sun, its brilliant light blinding him for a moment as he was still drowsy after sleeping. Recovering from the momentary shock of the bright day he approached the captain.

Whats up captain?

I just received orders to ride south with a company of me milord. There is a fair chance there will be fighting and....

Fighting!?!? This was just the opportunity JF had been waiting for!

One moment! I will go get my armor!

But but.. milord!

Before the captain could say anymore the young nobleman had run upstairs to put on his armor. And after that, he hoped, ride into glory.

 

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It was a sinking feeling that Captain Heinrich von Sellen saw the Dukes son approach him across the courtyard. And sure enough, the reckless young man wanted to join him on his journey to the south. He tried to protest but the young Hohenzollern had allready gone to get his armor.

While waiting for Johann Frederick to come back he looked around him at the assembled men. A company of lancers. Infantry would have been too slow to reach his far off destination in time. Not to mention that raising the levies would take far too much time. He did not know why his Duke had decided to aid the King of Naples exactly, but he was sure all would be revealed to him in due time.

After the young headstrong lord reemerged dressed in armor he tried to convince him that going along on this expedition would be foolish. It was to now avail however, and who was he to question the orders of the Dukes son?
He had a feeling that Duke Johann might very well skin him alive if he got back in one piece though. And that was if the Dukes son got back in one piece as well. He did not even dare to think about the alternative.

Seeing that everything was in order he signalled to the companys vexillary to order the company to ride out.

 

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Dorothea looked at the desk in front of her. Upon it were several piles of neatly stacked papers. Written on them were matters concerning affairs of the duchy. Everything from religious matters to military and economic. As it was many of the leading personalities of the duchy were abroad at the moment.

Her parents, the Duke and Duchess, were currently in Bremen. Prior to that they had been in Nurnberg, and they had now been gone for a long time. She wondered what kind of business it could be that kept her father occupied for such a long time. Whatever it was, someone had to keep things running back home as well. That someone was currently Dorothea.

Signing a request for some blacksmiths services she thought about her brother. Johann Frederick would most likely have been in charge IF he had been here like he was supposed to. But nooooo! Her younger brother had run off to some damn fool crusade. Following Captain von Sellen like this was his only and last chance to seek glory in the world. Snorting she looked at a letter from the lieutenant the captain had left in charge of the garrison. The soldiers food had been found lacking again? And look at how crudely the letter had been written. The lieutenant simply had to improve his writing if he expected her to actually read it.

She put the letter away and looked at some documents regarding a few merchants complaining. Same old story about too high tolls and tariffs again. She was sure the trade advisor and treasurer Hermann Grunenfeld would have solved the case in minutes if he had looked at it. Unfortunately he too was missing. He had travelled to Stettin some time ago to talk about a trade treaty with the pommeranians. The negotiations had to be hard too if the amount of time he had been gone was anything to go by.

Sighing, she finished her current pile of papers and started on another one. It would be quite late before she was finished with todays work. By the flickering light of a single candle the young woman continued to work until late that night. The next morning she was found by a maid, slumped over the desk, snoring lightly.

The maid sighed and prepared to wake her mistress, for the third time this week.

 

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Unto Johann Hohenzollern, Fourth of the name, Margrave of Brandenburg.

You and your entourage are hearby invited to the Royal wedding of

His Most Illustrious Majesty, Louis, of the House of Berri, by the grace of God King of Lotharingia, King of Burgundy, Duke of Burgundy, Prince of the Holy Roman Empire, Dynast of the House of Berri, Duke of Montpellier of Savona, Count of Montpensier, of Imperia, of Chiavari, Grandmaster of the Most Illustrious Order of the Golden Fleece.

-and-​

Her Serene and August Highness Anna del Grifone-Savoia, Princess Imperial of Pommerania, Dowager Duchess of Piedmonte, Dowager Princess of Achaia, Dowager Marquise of Ivrea, Dowager Countess of Aosta, Nizza and Saint-Cloud.

to be held on the last Saturday of March, in the Year of our Lord 1449, at the Cathedral at Dijon, in order to bear witness to the holy union of two within the bonds of matrimony. If you are unable to attend in person, you are invited to send a personal representative to this joyous occasion.

 

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1449, Dijon

On the day of the presenting of the wedding-gifts, late in the night, well after the point of time which could have been regarded as courteous and polite, a page delivered a message to Dorothea von Hohenzollern.

À Princesse Dorothée de Brandenbourg.


Sweetest cousin, little sister of mine,

I’m sorry for not greeting you in person, Dora, it’s nothing against you, it’s just that I’m not feeling very well lately. And, oh well, the mere sight of the most of these guests around would make me vomit. Their lack of compassion is frightening, their faulty memory is disgusting, their scorn makes me shudder. I won’t come out until the ceremony. Well, this decision costs me the meeting with you, I’m sorry for it.

Regardless, I thank you your gift. The chess-set. Louis sent it to me, now it’s here in my room. And, Dora, it really caught my fancy. I was just sitting here for an hour or more, and pondered about the game. The set is so beautiful. As if the figurines were alive. They even seem moving if you watch them for enough time.

Louis is certainly the Red King. But the Red Queen is not me, it’s his sister. I am but a pawn. A king-pawn. The Red King’s pawn. And my comrade, my true companion, the queen-pawn, it’s Frederick von Wittelsbach, the Reddish Queen’s pawn.

I wonder, where are the white figurines? The White King is dead now. One White Knight is missing - and I miss him badly now, although I was the one to throw him away. I do have hope in the Castles, though. But who are the others? And who are you? Maybe you are the pawn in front of me, so that we could simply chat in the middle of the board while the others are fighting? I hope so. But it’s all very confusing when it comes to the Whites. The King of Navarra is there, I guess, but I’m not sure. Same with Casmir, our cousin. The Reds, we are a much more obvious case: de Montainblanc is the Red Knight on the Queen’s side, the other one is Henryk. The Bishop on the King’s side is certainly Monpetit, the other one is Renatus Angevin. One of the Red Castles is my father, the other is that bastard, Ladislaus.

But anyway, see, this is a very odd game, a very odd game with very curious rules. Here the point is not to defeat the King. Who is a King anyway? Just a fool, a figurehead. You may kill the King, the game will go on. And when the pawn reaches the other side of the board, why should she become a Queen? I, for one, won’t become a Queen there. I will just sit there as a pawn. It’s much safer. But the strangest of the rules: it doesn’t really matter which side you are on. Reds or Whites: It doesn’t matter. The point is to kill more and more of figurines. Nothing else matters. Nothing else. And the funny thing is that sooner or later other figurines will come to replace the killed one, so the game never ends.

This is a wonderful gift, Dora. A bit frightening, but wonderful. I thank you again. We might talk after the ceremony.


Love,

Annnnnnnnnnnnna.

 

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Dijon

It was quite late and Dorothea was preparing to turn in for the night when she heard a knock on her door. Her maid went to open the door and quickly came back with a letter in her hand. "A message for you milady"

Dorothea received the piece of paper and unfolded it. After reading it she sat in silence thinking for a while. The contents had been rather unsettling. Anna seemed so... alone? sad? lost? perhaps a combination of all three. Or perhaps something else entirely?

"And my comrade, my true companion, the queen-pawn, it’s Frederick von Wittelsbach, the Reddish Queen’s pawn". That line sent chills down Dorotheas spine. If something unsolicited were going on between her and the prince-elector it could have disasterous consequences. Dorothea promised herself then and there that if such were the case she would never ever reveal it to anyone. Such information in the hands of the crimson king, the emperor or even her own father could lead to great calamity. Possibly even...

war.

Then there were the other pieces. Some of the missing she thought she could identify. Others she were more unsure about. The one thing she was sure about was that her cousin was most likely in great distress. Even though she was quite tired and ready for bed Dorothea started to write a letter. For quite some time she sat there by the light of a single candle.

The following letter were delivered to Anna in the morning.


Dear cousin Anna, my big sister,

A few years ago I was deathly ill. Sometimes I thought I would die. And at other times I had such pains that I wanted to die. Had I not received the best medical attention available I probably would have. Still, with time I came through all right. I survived and today I feel no ill consequences for it.

No matter how bleak the situation looks there is allways hope for the better. One day the mighty griffon will sprout her wings and fly. Fly and show her beauty to the world. Certainly a being that is not to be trifled with. Not even by calculating red queens. Me, I am just a pawn. I hope you are right though. That while all the others fight around us, we could stand there in the middle. In the eye of the storm where it is quiet. And have a nice chat while the others fight. I want you to know that if I can help lessen your burden in some way I will be there to listen. I might not be able to provide many answers but I will be there for you my dear sister.

Chess it seems, is an odd game. I have never thought about it before, but the way you describe it, it is true. While the king can hardly do anything and moves with slow faltering steps, the queen is free. The queen can move almost anywhere. Oftentimes the queen is underestimated, a grave mistake by any opponent. Perhaps more formidable still, is the queen that is thought of as a pawn. The queen that does not display her true strength.

To be honest I am not very good at the game of chess. It was certainly not my intention that the gift should be frightening in any way. A letter can only express so much though. I would appreciate it greatly to talk to you in private after the ceremony.

Until then I hope you will feel better soon.


Love,

a little pawn

 

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Dijon

“Clever girl,” Anna said to the empty room. Somehow, she got frightened by her own voice, from that harsh, rude contralto of hers. “Clever girl,” she repeated, merely to make the uneasy silence filled with voice again. “And how very naïve.”

Dorothea was, after all, only some twenty years old. Trifling twenty years old. Anna remembered her twenty-year-old self, she did remember how simple everything had been; the suffering had been simple, even romantic back then. Ah yes, she thought, you were twenty, and your thought you understood everything. Nah, you did understand everything. You fit in the pattern well, you were feeling needed and important…

She stood up, and, shivering in the cool evening air, she went to the window, and looked down at the deserted gardens of Louis’ palace. … you understood everything even when your husband cheated on you on the first day of your marriage. That was a suffering so very romantic. Like Dora’s illness, yes. Most probably she, too, thought that her suffering was an important thing. While in reality who gave a shit?

Ah yes, you knew the pain, your parents died in the plague, uh-oh, how very sad, you were cheated on, and even when your husband was slain by your cousins… well, by the ones who were your cousins by the law, their own law… even then, you were firmly conscious of your responsibility, your importance… While in reality who gave a shit? Anna shook her head in disbelief, and even blushed. It’s always embarassing to think back of the one you once were. But the most frightening thing is that whether years later, won’t you look back with the same scorn at what you are now? Humility, humility, humility, and even more humility, right until the self-abasement, only this could help. But where’s the joy in that?

Oooh, twenty… Twenty years old. A girl who thinks herself a woman. A clever girl, certainly, but still a girl, a simple, normal girl… And that’s good, Anna thought suddenly. That’s the best. After all, you yourself want to be a girl once again… forgetting that then, too, you weren’t satisfied with the life at all…

The soon-to-be Queen shook her head again. Thinking, pondering, musing - all futile. She wanted to stop thinking for now and for ever, she wanted to get rid of the thoughts. She walked back to her desk, and reached out for the silver casket.

À Princesse Dorothée de Brandenbourg.


Sweet sister,

The Queen is indeed the strongest one, the strongest of them all. I forgot it for a moment or two, while I should have known better. I, for one, got defeated by the Queen twice. I can never be compared to the Red Queen. And if it’s good to those two, it’s good to me. Why should I be angry simply because the rules of the game makes her the stronger? It’s not her fault.

I guess I should be angry with you instead, as you are the one able to kill my comrade, the one beside me, and I couldn’t take revenge. But the Red Queen could. See, Dora, this is a very cunning game indeed.

But never mind. I guess I’m just kidding.

Regardless, why don’t we talk now? It’s so silly, we keep sending these messages with couriers, while we are in the same palace. Why don’t you come round? I feel rather lonely. So? Would you? If nothing else, we could play a game of chess.


Love,

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna.

 

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Dijon

It was with mixed feelings that Dorothea headed for Annas quarters. She had reread the last letters several times. In some ways it was just as disturbing as the last ones. "I guess I should be angry with you instead, as you are the one able to kill my comrade, the one beside me, and I couldn’t take revenge. But the Red Queen could. See, Dora, this is a very cunning game indeed" it had read.

Strange it was, as it had been Anna herself that had hinted at something untoward happening in her first letter. Dorothea wondered why she had written it. Perhaps she simply needed to tell someone. Be that as it may, Dorothea would simply see it as a joke on Annas part. She certainly did not have any plans of harming her... or her comrade.

Arriving at last she adressed a servant.

Could you please be so good as to tell your lady that Dorothea von Hohenzollern is here to see her if it so pleases her?

 

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Dijon

Anna looked at Dorothea, and her eyes filled with tears. In shame, probably; for, as she looked at her cousin, as she looked in Dorothea’s eyes, as their glances met, Anna regretted calling her, in fact summoning her there in the middle of the night.

Poor thing, Anna thought, and she felt sorry for Dorothea, for this plucky little hero who came at her first call, as if she had to, while in fact she owed Anna nothing, she had no obligations toward her. Dorothea was dear, sweet and dear as she was standing before Anna warily, and the soon-to-be Queen’s heart went out for her, she was moved to tears by Dorothea’s mere sight.

Anna cleared her throat to save time. She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know what she had had in her mind when she had called Dorothea; maybe she had wanted only to make a scene to someone, to be cruel to someone.

Busy blinking back her tears, she glanced away, and she felt to be in despair, she was in despair indeed. Anna hated herself and felt sorry for herself at the same time, the sudden feeling of desperation hit her hard, her hands started trembling, her lips quivered, but she choked back her sobbing for fear she would lose a friend again. Friend? No, not at all, she thought, and shook her head. Dorothea wasn’t her friend. For Anna Gryphon had had a husband, she used to have some lovers, she’d had admirers, supporters, a few benevolent relatives, but not a single friend.

“Good evening, Dorothea,” she said finally in her husky contralto. “I--- I’m sorry…” She trailed off. “Would you like some wine?” she tried again. “I believe there’s a bottle somewhere here…” she continued, and looked around in the mess that was her room; pieces of cloth, jewelry, precious gifts Louis had sent her to make her feel better - all in a picturesque upheaval. Anna blushed in shame, and made an irresolute gesture of hand. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Anna repeated, and, shaking her head, she cast down her eyes. “I guess I’m going queer… or I don’t know… You don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to…”

Confused, the soon-to-be Queen took a deep breath, then opened her blue, unmerry eyes. “Maybe you’d better go indeed,” she said in a surprisingly clear voice, and tightened her lips: the peevish wrinkles in the corner of her mouth deepened. “You have no reason to stay.”

 

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Dijon

Dorothea was the kind of young woman that wanted things to be neat and orderly. Unused clothes should either be in the laundry, or when clean, neatly piled and folded in their respective cabinets. Floors should be scrubbed regularly, windows clean, everything in a proper state befitting a noble household.

She was wholly unprepared for the sight that met her eyes when she entered Annas quarters. A complete mess, clothes, jewelry and other items scattered around. Anna herself looked tired, or so Dorothea thought. And sad. Was that a tear she could see in Annas eyes? Dorothea averted her eyes and just slowly raised them to look at Anna again.

“I guess I’m going queer… or I don’t know… You don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to…” *deep breath* “Maybe you’d better go indeed, you have no reason to stay.”

The first thought that hit Dorothea was to turn around and head back. Whatever was going on here was not her business, and well, the room looked an absolute mess. Perhaps she would even have to clear a space if she wanted to sit down. Despite these thoughts she surprised herself by walking forward. "And good evening to you Anna. Some wine would be lovely. I will stay if you want me too. Or perhaps we could go for a walk. Or we could just sit here and talk, or play chess... or whatnot."

Deftly evading a very nice looking dress that was on the floor she approached Anna so that she was only a few yards from her.

 

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Anna nodded. Not really to Dorothea, but more to herself. What did I expect? she asked herself in thought. Did I expect that she would start to feel sorrow for me? That she would try to console me? Only because our mothers happened to be sisters? She was but staring at her cousin for a minute or two, but then she nodded again, and swirled around to find that bottle of wine.

The silence, the awkward, almost uneasy silence weighed heavily on her shoulders as she filled a goblet for Dorothea; it was a wine not Burgundian, but Italian, Tuscan, to be precise. White wine, ladies’s wine, light, but not without some wild bouquet; the gift of the Duke of Modena. Anna poured some for herself, and as she tasted it, she felt a strong urge to dash the bottle at the floor so that it would explode into zillions of pieces. She felt a strong urge to make a scene, to frighten Dorothea, to extort some half-fearful compassion from her. Instead, she just cast a yearning glance at the silver casket; the evening dose had worn off already, leaving but bitterness, bitterness, bitterness.

Deep in thoughts, she kept sipping her wine with an inscrutable look. But then, suddenly realizing Dorothea’s presence, she sat down beside the girl. “What should we drink a toast to?” she asked.

 

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"What am I doing here?" Dorothea thought to herself as she tasted the wine. She fealt totally out of place. Anna had just stared at her for some time. The silence.. the silence could not possibly become any louder. "What am I doing here?". She had put down her goblet of wine and caught herself in folding a scarf she had found on the couch beside her. Blushing slightly and embarassed at her own action she put it away and took the goblet again.

What was there to toast to indeed? Dorothea fealt very guilty all of a sudden, for it was obvious that the other woman was in some pain. Yet Dorothea had done absolutely nothing to comfort her. "And why should I? I hardly know the facts, and this really is nothing of my business" she thought. As she finished the thought she knew she was lying to herself. It was simply too tempting to leave the problems behind and forget about it. An easy sollution she knew would torment her later. An easy sollution, for her, that was most likely the wrong one.

Dorothea fealt miserable for herself. She also fealt guilty because she fealt miserable for herself and not for Anna. "Oh what an egoistical person I am!" she thought. She reached out for Annas hand. "I... I... Are you ok? I am sorry... I should have...""Get a hold of yourself girl!!!""I know this must be a hard time for you. With all the terrible things that has happened to you. Well, I don`t know what to say, I can hardly imagine what you are going through."

She paused and bit her lip before continuing. "A toast! To a griffon and a half-griffon with a tendency to get into trouble!""I can`t believe I said that" Dorothea thought almost immediately after saying it. Gritting her teeth she looked down into her goblet and then up at Anna.

 

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Anna stared at Dorothea rather dumbly, and then slowly she went pale; not in fear, but more in anger. Her eyes narrowed, her nostrils distended, she felt a weird pressure in her stomach. She wanted, she wanted, she wanted so much, so very much, she did want to vent the anger she felt against the world.

But then came a sudden change of mood, and she turned her head away to hide the tears coming to her eyes. She felt so bad. All the times, she was so hard to please and so easy to displease, and she did hate herself for it. She’d been like this by nature, the calamities befallen her only intensified her character so that she had become unendurable.

And Anna felt a curious desire buried deep in the deepest depths of her heart. Buried deep indeed, but it was there, and she felt it growing stronger and stronger: she wanted to die. Exhausted, she wanted to end it all. And she could only hope that she would have a good opportunity to do it without hesitation. She was craving for a last hit that could send her to a state where no treacherous hopes could hold her hand back.

“Funny,” Anna squeezed the word out of herself. “A good toast. Really.”

She looked at Dorothea and saw her embarassement, so she clinked her goblet to Dorothea’s, and forced herself to smile. She forced herself to smile, and forced herself to forget about the vicious circle, she forced herself to be like normal people, at least for a few minutes.

“I haven’t see you since such a long time,” Anna said in a conversational tone, stood up, walked to the table, and snuffed up a pinch of the blessed dreampowder, carefully showing only her back at Dorothea. “Last time we met… in Nürnberg, in ’43, right?” sniffling, she continued. “On my previous wedding. By God’s teeth, you were only fifteen then!”

Still sniffling, she sat back beside her, crouching. “Tell me about yourself, Dorothea von Hohenzollern,” she said with an ethereal smile. “Tell me about yourself, my mother’s sister’s daughter.”

 

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Dijon

"Has she caught a cold or something just recently" Dorothea thought. "With all that sniffing and all. And what was there of interest to say about herself really?".

"Yes, I suppose I was only fifteen then. We lived in Bayreuth at the time, I still remember the trip from there to Nurnberg. All I could think of was what to wear during the ceremony, like the silly teenager I was. Off course, I soon had other things to think of after the wedding. When my uncle Albrecht asked us to come visit Berlin and..."

Dorothea halted in mid speech. When her uncle Albrecht had asked them to come to Berlin and upon their arrival he had proceeded to lock up her father. Also he had kept them all under guard. Later it had turned out that Albrech had murdered her uncle Friedrich to grab the throne. In an attempt to warn the Emperor, Dorothea herself had fled from Brandenburg to Stetting. During the journey she had almost been killed by Albrecht`s ruffians. Dorothea did not wish to burden Anna with these things however, the other woman seemed distressed enough as it was.

"You want to know more about me? I am just a normal, boring girl really. One that hardly merits much mention in social circles. And my family history you no doubt allready know. Well, I like riding. Perhaps we could go out for a ride someday?"

 

[Mettermrck]

A letter arrives for the Duke of Brandenburg (in Bremen):

To His Grace, Johann IV Hohenzollern
Duke of Brandenburg, Fürst of the House of Hohenzollern, Margrave of Ansbach, Burgrave of Nürnberg, Prince of Bayreuth, Prince-Elector of the Holy Roman Empire, Arch-Chamberlain of the Holy Roman Empire

Your Grace, it is with pleasure that I receive your message and am reminded of our meeting in Nurnberg. I earnestly hope that our relationship can continue now that we are in a better position to help one another. The Order will gladly host your arrival in Riga once your business there in Bremen is concluded. I have already begun the process of shaping this holy order into a formidable military power once more, and there will be much progress to show.

I have recently had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of your son, Johann Frederick, on campaign in Naples. He acquitted himself well and has a promising future as both a soldier and a ruler. Please send him my regards and if he should ever desire to join us on Crusade, he is welcome.

 

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Dijon

Secondly, she was exactly the right height to rest her chin on Alice’s shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin.

- Lewis Carroll: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.​

Anna smiled. Anna smiled as the world slowed down. Anna smiled as her head was getting filled with dreams, as she was getting dizzy; as the tension within ceased; as the hurting slowly stopped.

Anna smiled at Dorothea dreamily as she listened to her, listening more to the melody of her speech than to her actual words. She let the younger woman’s voice enchant her, let it calm her down, and she wondered and she dreamt, and suddenly everything seemed and felt perfectly right. As she sat there beside Dorothea, as Dorothea sat there beside her: even though only moments before she had felt the situation awkward at best, now she saw it absolutely proper and fitting, she felt everything proper and fitting and even perfect.

Feeling at ease, she fidgeted so that she was more lying than sitting, and she kept smiling, smiling faintly, dreamily while watching Dorothea speaking.

“You remind me of myself,” a smiling Anna said after a rather long pause, and she reached out, and gently stroke Dorothea’s hair. “I too used to say this I’m-just-a-simple-girl thing… ‘I’m rather ordinary, except for that my hair is brown and my eyes are blue,’” she cited herself, and then she laughed. “Beware with shy Italian princes! And with shy Portugese aristocrats. And with arrogant and pushy Burgundian kings! And with childish German princes! They all seem to be fond of our like.” Grinning, she fell silent for a moment, but then she laughed again. “God, what a mess!”

And her laughter was hearty indeed. Even all the things she had gone through seem to be in order. Everything seemed beautiful, everything seemed perfect, everything seemed to be in order. “A ride, you say?” she continued in a calmer tone, toying with a lock of Dorothea’s hair. “Why, of course… Although I’m not much of a rider. I mean I use ladies’ saddle… but I might try the men’s style, if you want,” she added hastily, “there’s not much down there that might be harmed, after all. Not after four lovers and four-and-a-half children…”

Slowly, the Duchess calmed down. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, “I’m sorry,” she repeated, feeling miserable again. She was yearning for love, for being loved, she wanted so much to make Dorothea her friend, and she knew very well that she was alienating her with this erratic behaviour. But she was unable to be kind and charming and lovable as long as she wasn’t loved.

Vicious circle, Anna thought, vicious circle again. She bit her lip, and now she looked old, she looked old indeed, she looked exactly like what she was: a woman who had experienced much, a woman who had pushed everything to the limit, and - worse - even beyond it. And as she looked at her cousin, she could almost see the walls separating them, not only those posed by the difference of their ages, but also the walls separating every human being.

She started speaking nonetheless. “Ummm… Would you… wouldn’t you…” She trailed off. Instead of continuing, she stood up, and took the silver casket from the table. “Wouldn’t you want some of this?” she put forth the question, showing Dorothea the greyish-white powder. “It makes people… feel better.”

 

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Dijon

Dorothea enjoyed that Anna finally seemed to lighten up some. Talking about princes and kings. And riding. And children. "Wait a minute! Four and a half children! There was Gioacchino, Rossanna, Vittorioa, Rafaele and ... and a half!?" All of a sudden it seemed like Annas good mood had vanished. Feeling very sad Dorothea did not say anything. She merely put her arm around the other woman, trying to comfort her. No words were nescessary, least of all stupid questions.

Anna then offered her some white powder. Dorothea immediately realized it must be some kind of dream powder. Her father had told her about the substance once. Johann von Hohenzollern had dabbled in alchemy in his youth and was therefore known as "the alchemist". Even though he was not as knowledgable about this sort of powder as he was in his chosen field he did know some about it. And he had mentioned it. She knew it had a powerful effect on the mind. That it could make someone feel brave and confident, it could induce pleasure. It could make one feel like a god. She did not remember all her father had said about it as it was long ago.

Edging closer to Anna she smiled. "Everything will be all right, I am sure it will! And please don`t be sorry. You have no reason to be sorry. That... powder... I hear it is quite hard to come by..."

Her gut instinct told her to pull away. To run. Surely nothing good could come of using such a substance. But still, Dorothea did not want to abandon Anna. She did not want to turn her back on her. Besides, how bad could it be? Her father had experimented with dangerous substances all the time. Sometimes he had almost blown himself to pieces even! So how bad could indeed this seemingly harmless looking powder be?

Surprising herself, Dorothea replied "I... you would have to show me how to use this powder.."

 

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Dijon, 1449.

Now Anna smiled in the way she once used to, in the way she hadn’t done in years. Now Dorothea could see the future Queen’s wide, wild, open and sincere, mischievous, naughty, still childishly innocent grin that would have been more fitting to the daughter of a peasant. For suddenly some exuberant joy filled Anna, so exuberant that she fell on Dorothea’s neck, kissing her on both cheeks lovingly, and only then she rushed off for her precious silver casket.

“This way,” she tried to say while snuffing up the powder, resulting in sneezing and coughing mingled with a hearty laughter. “This way,” she laughed, “this way!”

She could barely stop laughing as she ran back beside her cousin, crouching on the sofa like a child she once had been, and she hugged her again. “I’m so glad, I’m so glad, I’m so glad to have you here!” she laughed, and slipped the casket in Dorothea’s hand. And even though she did pause for moment, she could not hold herself back, so, pressing her cheek closely to hers, she whispered in Dorothea’s ear, “I’m in love with Frederick. Frederick von Wittelsbach. And he’ll be here in days!” she went on, and leant away, still laughing. “Isn’t it great?”

“And you, kid sister?” she added maybe too swiftly. “Do you have a darling, do you have a knight?”