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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Meresin

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I’m a big fan of the black adder and I really need to write something funny while I’m writing my “novel” in EU:R, to exercise my laughing muscle, I kinda hope someone else finds this AAR funny too.

They are completely different AAR’s, and when I reach a blank state of writing one, I’ll just go write on the other, because they’re completely different styles, this one is all about black humor and stupid jokes, and the other is a more serious and much more thought AAR - all this to say that I won’t write less on the other, just to write more on this one, neither the other way around.

Differently from my EU:R AAR, this one actually is a more normal AAR, as the game goes, and events show up, my characters will act according to it.

Version: Ck 1.05
Difficulty: Normal
AI Aggressiveness: Normal

Playing as the Duchy of Braganza, as it will give me early action against muslims.

First chapter follows: "Small and Smelly"
 

Meresin

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The Yellow Adder​


Chapter 1 - "Small and Smelly"​


Long time ago, when there was no Internet, where there was no porn, a time so ancient there was no TV, that when people weren’t working they were making babies, not for fun, but to have more manpower to conquer lands and to shepherd the goats… There was an entity that specialized to teach little young boys into becoming the best advisors a king could have – you know, to make wars interesting - this entity was so secret it had no name, but for history sake, people called it Krome Funny Counselors or, KFC.

Krome – Some say the name of the city this entity was hidden was encrypted in this first word, but no man ever discovered it. (Some women did, but nobody really cared what they think at that time – if they listened to them, maybe KFC wasn’t necessary)

Funny – To disguise its true evil purpose – to dominate the world!!! They tried to be funny anyway, although nobody but them ever really understood their sense of humor, it was hearing one of their jokes a healer once started the rumor that there was a weird disease called schizophrenia that made people hear voices and say weird things – later when the Inquisition was touring Europe, they were called possessed by a strange funny demon and burned at the cross.

Counselors – They gave counsel.

KFC profited from war, from disease, from problems, from young ambitious kings, you can say they were the lawyers of ancient times.

In this story we will tell the adventures of codename Yellow Adder - a brilliant student of KFC, a brilliant silver tongue, Midas touched brilliant man, a mind so brilliant nobody in his time could understand him, a brilliant peasant-born man, brilliantly taught since the day he was born to be the best advisor ever taught by KFC - since the day he had his assignment to the day he heroically died in battle with an arrow...

We start when Yellow Adder had to choose his sidekick...


Yellow Adder (looking at the long line of weird sidekicks): You all look like idiots, how am I supposed to choose any of you to come with me and be my sidekick for life?


Yellow Adder approached a tall man, the only one that was clean and shaved in that bunch of ugly apes.

Yellow Adder: So, tell me, what makes you think you are the best sidekick I can choose?

Tall man (with a British accent): I make the finest tea in Europe, sire.
Yellow Adder: How can you prove it?

Tall man went to get a cup of Tea. Yellow Adder tasted it and made the weirdest face.

Yellow Adder (disgusted): What’s this tea? Camomile?
Tall man: No sire, I feel insulted you call that flavor Camomile…
Yellow Adder: What is it then?
Tall man: That’s my special tea, I call it Dung Tea, and the ingredients are secret.
Yellow Adder (spitting on the floor, trying with his fingers to take the flavor of his mouth): What?? I knew I’d tasted this somewhere… What’s the secret about it? Where the dung is from…? I bet it’s from horse manure…
Tall man (impressed): You have quite a taste, sire!
Yellow Adder: I did, until your Manure Tea burned into my tongue… Well, you are the only one clean; let’s stay by that as your best quality.
Tall man: Oh, thank you, sire.
Yellow Adder: Stop saying “sire”, bloody hell!
Tall man: I apologize, sire.

Well I’ll go nuts in the first week if this is my sidekick… Maybe I should pick the numbest, most inoffensive young fellow I can, it won’t make my life easier, but it won’t make it harder either…

Then Yellow Adder saw It, yes, “It”, IT was the strangest creature on earth, small, long beard, crooked teeth, greasy long hair, smelled like an old sock, a sock so old and smelly all other socks would run away from it, if the other pair of the sock could talk it would scream in agonizing pain and asked to be burned alive and in the final judgment of socks ask to go to the hell of socks if it meant it would stay as far away as possible from that smelly sock…

IT was looking intrigued at the point of his finger.


Yellow Adder (looking at the tip of it’s finger, where a creamy liquid was shining):
Is that snot?
Smelly Man: Oh, that’s right! I knew I’ve seen this before…

And then he placed it back in his nose.

Smelly Man:
There it is back home, thanks for the help sir.

Yellow Adder had no words to describe the vision, and, well, the smell. He looked at the Tall man, looked at the Smelly man, and tried to imagine what the other creepy sidekicks’ problems were.

Well, this one could take a bath when it rains outside, and I don’t really have to look at him, and if he starts to talk too much, I’ll just place an old sock in his mouth, I bet it’s the nicest thing people have ever done to him.

Yellow Adder (looking at Smelly Man):
You are perfect! What is your name?
Smelly Man (raising his chin with proud): My name is Baldrick.
Yellow Adder (turning his head away): Don’t do that again…
Baldrick: What sir? You just asked my name, and I told it…
Yellow Adder: Yes, but when you arose your chin I saw some greenish thing in your beard…
Baldrick: What do you mean? Oh, yes, this is my---

Yellow Adder slapped his hand while it was in the direction of the green thing.

Yellow Adder:
Don’t touch it, and don’t tell me what it is, it’ll be our little secret, okay?
Baldrick: How can it be our secret if you don’t know what the secret is?
Yellow Adder (annoyed): It’ll be your secret then.
Baldrick: I don’t like to keep secrets, sir.
Yellow Adder: Now you do, and get used to this…
Baldrick: What, sir?

Yellow adder took one of his socks and placed it in Baldrick’s mouth.

Yellow Adder (screaming to the men that brought him there):
I’ll take this one.

Shouts of joy and “Thank god”’s came from everywhere around him, including the Tall man and the other sidekicks.


------

Been struggling with tags and colours, hope they're fine. :)
 
Last edited:

Slinky

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Arakiel said:
Been struggling with tags and colours, hope they're fine. :)
They look good. They have a calm and orderly look about them. The reassuring feeling is probably quite welcome the way this seems to be going. Great start and I'll be following
 

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Nice start. This style holds lots of potential.

Did well with the coloring as well, pleasant to look at. :)
 

Meresin

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Chapter 2 - Bragger and Braganza​


Sunny, shiny day, Yellow Adder and Baldrick are following a road, on a mule, well, Adder is on top of a mule, Baldrick is the mule.


Yellow Adder: This weather is fantastic, and look at all this civilization, it’s gorgeous, when I heard the name Duchy of Braganza I was suspicious they have given me a crappy duchy, but I’m rather amazed. Have we arrived yet, Baldrick?
Baldrick (looking at the map upside down): I don’t know sir, I don’t think so.
Yellow Adder: You don’t know where we are?
Baldrick: No idea, sir.
Yellow Adder: Of course you don’t, because if you did, you’d be helpful, Baldrick... Gimme that!

Yellow Adder took the map from Baldrick and started rotating it and looking far, near, from every possible angle…


Yellow Adder: Baldrick, it seems to me we are exactly… Nowhere in this map… And the problem is not me or you, the problem is that whoever 3-year-old chipmunk that drew lines and painted this paper and called it a map only wrote “ask for directions after you pass the French territory” in the Iberian Peninsula.
Baldrick: Oh… That’s good. Because I thought we were lost or something…

Yellow Adder smacked Baldrick’s head with the map.

Yellow Adder: Let me talk to the natives.

Yellow Adder approached a man that was constructing a farm.


Yellow Adder: I’m sorry sir, can you help me?
Farmer: Ayewhat’sup?
Yellow Adder: Well, I’m looking for Duchy of Braganza, and apparently the idiots who made this map for me didn’t know or didn’t care where it was.
Farmer: Arr, thosetwofacedbastardswhostoleourwine, ayejustfollowwest.
Yellow Adder: I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand, are you Scottish or something?
Farmer: Ney! Isaidjustfollowest. Youwillnoticetheirdrunkensmellfromfar.
Yellow Adder: You said west?
Farmer: Aye. Hey, canIbuy yourhorse?

Yellow Adder looked back to see what he was talking about: Baldrick was with his face on the ground eating grass.

Yellow Adder: Oh, Baldrick, no, he’s very special for me, you see, he’s the first one-quarter-man, one-quarter-horse, one-quarter-hobbit I ever had.
Farmer: Henotafullpersonthen?
Yellow Adder: If we called Baldrick a person, we’d have to find another definition for everyone else: demi-gods or something… Well, thanks for your help, alas, I have to go search for a drunken duchy.
Farmer (with his eyes wide open): Alah?
Yellow Adder: Alas, I have---

The farmer then started running away and screaming “Muslim” “Help” “Muslim’s are here”.

Yellow Adder: Baldrick I have the weird feeling we should get going fast.

A few days later…

Yellow Adder: We long passed the civilization, where the hell are we going to…? I’m starting to wonder if this Duchy actually exists, or if it’s just another practical joke on the KFC… On the last one I got the word Yellow into my name…
Baldrick: Sir, I’m really thirsty… Could you give me some of your water?
Yellow Adder: Well, why should we waste our provisions if there is a perfectly clear puddle of mud back there…?
Baldrick: Just a moment ago, you wasted some of the water washing your face; that’s what made the puddle of mud!
Yellow Adder: Baldrick, if I’m dirty when I reach the duchy, what will the duke think of me?
Baldrick: Well, do you care what duck’s think?
Yellow Adder: Duck? No, DUKE, D-U-K-E. Oh why am I spelling? You wouldn’t know the difference between an O and a Chinese character, if it was tattooed in your genitals.
Baldrick: Well, at least I care about other people’s thirst instead of my appearance to ducks…
Yellow Adder: Oh my god… Look, there’s a river near, you can drink from it.

When they reached the margin of the river, Baldrick started drinking from it, the way a mule would drink: his tongue was the one who would go into the water and bring it to the mouth.

Yellow Adder (watching Baldrick): Your parents must be such an interesting chaps…
Baldrick: Sir the water is sweet!
Yellow Adder: What? Well, I would gladly explain you why the water in rivers is sweet, and the water in the ocean is salty, but I’m pretty sure you would only be even more confused…
Baldrick: No really, it tastes like that fruit, the banana’s, or what they call it… That small… orange… sweet fruit.
Yellow Adder: The water tastes like bananas? The small orange bananas? Well maybe we finally reached Africa, or another continent that seems like Africa but has small orange fruits and the natives call them bananas too, or maybe you are a delusional mind-numb idiot who just ate too much grass…!

Baldrick heavily drank a lot of water and when he got up and started to walk, he was terribly dizzy, and after some seconds trying to get his balance, he finally fell back and started singing.

Yellow Adder (curious): Are you drunk, Baldrick?

Yellow Adder then smelled Baldrick’s mouth and terribly regretted he did it half a second later, it smelled like everything that smelled terribly bad in life, had rotten in that place…

Bloody hell, I just lost my sense of smell. I hope is not permanent. Wait a minute, maybe Baldrick is not such an idiot after all…

Yellow Adder approached the river and with his hands in a shell, brought some of the water to his mouth.

Yellow Adder: Baldrick, the water tastes like small orange bananas?? Its grapes, its wine you idiot! Let’s go, they must be near.


They followed the river upstream and they found the source of the wine: hundreds of people in an alcoholic-coma, or singing or dancing, or some doing the three things at the same time… Baldrick was now one of those who were trying the three things at the same time, it was painful to watch.


Yellow Adder (addressing a seemingly sober peasant): Hello! Where is the Duchy of Braganza?
Seemingly-sober-peasant: The ducky? No ducky! Only wine and beer! Drrrink meh pretty!

Then he started pushing Yellow Adder to the Wine caskets.

Yellow Adder: Wait, no, thanks, really, I need… Look, where is Duke Nuno?
Obviously-not-sober-peasant: Duke Nuno? Good fella! Heavy drinker!
Yellow Adder: Where is he?
Obviously-not-sober-peasant: In the big castle, of course!
Yellow Adder: Where is the big castle?
Obviously-not-sober-peasant: In Porto!

I have to trick this one, think Adder, think, how you would trick Baldrick into telling you where the castle is…

Yellow Adder: Where is the road to Porto? I need to go there and bring caskets of wine to this party!
Obviously-not-sober-peasant: Reee’ly? Greeeat! Hey boys, this fella gonna bring mo’ wine!
Yellow Adder: Sir, sir, the road?
Obviously-not-sober-peasant (pointing): West, there.

Baldrick then stopped near them and started shouting “ALAS”. The music, the singing, the vomit, everything stopped and suddenly everyone got into a small village and closed the gates.


Yellow Adder: Baldrick? I know I’ll regret asking, but… Why?

Baldrick: It was so funny when you did it! Let’s do it again, it’s your turn now, sir.
Yellow Adder: I don’t want to do it, it was stupid, and you shouldn’t scare peasants like that, it’s wrong. Now, go get my stuff where you left it before I kick your sorry donkey butt so many times it’ll seem more like those red-butt monkeys.
Baldrick: Alright, alright no need to call me a butt…
Yellow Adder: I called you a sorry donkey, you dead flea brain!
Baldrick: Now that’ll help calling me a dead…
Yellow Adder: Oh…

Few days later…

Baldrick: There it is sir…
Yellow Adder: Where? I don’t see anything but rocks.
Baldrick: It’s a castle, sir.
Yellow Adder: That’s not a castle…! Just a pile of rocks, really far, with a banner on top of it, and a gate, and some farms around… Crap, this is where I come to stay? It’s tiny!

Baldrick and Yellow Adder entered the castle and were brought to the presence of Duke Nuno of Portugal.

The announcer introduced them…


Announcer: Sir Yellow Adder and his dog!
Yellow Adder: Duke Nuno, first I’d like to correct your announcer, he was very rude… to dogs everywhere, this is not my dog, it’s my… my… Have you ever seen a hairy and smelly hobbit?
Duke Nuno: He looks like a Spanish cousin of mine!

Some men in the room laughed, including Duke Nuno.

Duke Nuno: Why is your dog with a sock on his mouth?
Yellow Adder: Long story… Let’s just say he barks some unwanted words… Let’s get to what brings me here… I am a very good counselor and I want to help you and your… Duchy to conquer… Something around…
Duke Nuno: To conquer something around?
Yellow Adder: To conquer the world sir…
Duke Nuno: What?
Yellow Adder: To conquer the world, sir, I want to help you conquer the world.
Duke Nuno: AH! That’s a good one, to conquer the world… You’re a little bragger, aren’t you? Like some Spanish cousins of mine!

Again, some men in the room laughed.

Duke Nuno: That one is funny every time... You got some spirit, I’ll give you that, you can sleep in a room if you find it empty, and drink a cup of wine if you find it full… Give me some advice if it’s free of charge… Your dog can sleep in the kennel.

Yellow Adder (rubbing his hands in glee): Thank you sir… That’s all I wanted…


----

Funny to write that :)
 

Meresin

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@Slinky and IamWhoa: Thanks mates, I'll probably have to repeat some colors, because most of the available ones just make my eyes hurt when i look at them.

Hope you like reading it as much as I liked writing it :)
 

Slinky

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This is really good. I hope you can keep this up.

I am a bit mystified though. You are playing as the duchy of Braganza and you first act is to get roaringly drunk and install Yellow Adder as a counselor :rofl:
 

Enewald

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Lawls, I like that. :D
Harhar.

Dog... spanish cousin.... very clever. :p

Alas! :rofl:
 

unmerged(83622)

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Hähä, very entertaining, definitely following!
 

Meresin

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@Slinky: I hope so too, I have some base ideas to the start, and that I can guarantee will have the same quality as those first posts. Beyond that, it'll depend on how the game goes on. But Iberia never disappoints in action, so I’m pretty optimistic on some very good stuff to make fun of. About Duchy of Braganza... They have very good wine... hehe

@Enewald: Good to see you here mate, as I said before, this one will have lots of jokes and action guaranteed from start to finish...

@IamWhoa: I don't think Yellow Adder will ever be in combat, at least not if he has any vote on the matter... But Duke Nuno might tell him to... That would be, without a doubt, funny... :p

@Snugglie: Thanks! Please do follow and comment :)


Thanks for all the comments, they're absolutely a huge reason to want to spend aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallll that time placing colors and tags on each update. I haven't updated in some time, but I have a cunning plan and Chapter 3 will be out very, very soon.
 

Meresin

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Chapter 3 - Spy and Spiteful

Bright sunny day in Porto… Yellow Adder entered a big party room where Duke Nuno is dancing, alone, as everyone else is on the floor sleeping or vomiting out the windows. Duke Nuno had also one cup in each hand.

Yellow Adder (gently patting Duke Nuno’s shoulder): Sir? Please; there are some things we should talk about…
Duke Nuno: Yellow Adder!! Come and *hic* driiiiiiink! And *hic* Daaaance!
Yellow Adder: Sir, you’ve been dancing and drinking for three whole days… This starts to seem like those liberal summer festivals, where everyone calls everyone comrade…
Duke Nuno: We should *hic* do this every year!
Yellow Adder: I think they do sir.
Duke Nuno: We should too! *hic* Good ideas those liberals have!
Yellow Adder: Not really sir, they don’t agree with monarchy, for example…
Duke Nuno: And who does? *hic* Monarchy is what those dumb Spaniards have… Let them rot in it. *hic* It’s bad!
Yellow Adder: We live in a (giving up on the explanation, changing the subject)… Look sir I think we should talk about my duties here in the duchy. I believe it’s important to have someone sober when messengers arrive…
Duke Nuno (stopped the hiccups, it seemed easy for him): You can do whatever you want, but I can’t give you existing positions, so, pick different ones.
Yellow Adder: How’s that?
Duke Nuno: Not in the mood to take positions and make enemies in the court… I already have enough!
Yellow Adder: You mean the two weird guards that don’t like wine? They’re barely enemies… They just don’t like wine.
Duke Nuno: Oh… I have more, Yellow Adder, I have more…
Yellow Adder: Sir, people who you can give a barrel of wine and immediately they forgive you for everything you did, are not enemies, they’re called drunks.
Duke Nuno: They’re dangerous…!
Yellow Adder: Right… Sir, I believe you are reaching a certain age, and your wife is reaching a certain age…
Duke Nuno: I’m listening…
Yellow Adder: You only have one daughter…
Duke Nuno: Is this going somewhere? I have wine to drink.
Yellow Adder: I think I should pray to God you are given a boy, or that he gives a little hand to make things better…
Duke Nuno: Yes, sure, you do that…
Yellow Adder: Oh, for better prayers, I believe I should be anointed Spy Master.
Duke Nuno: There’s someone with that job, pick other one.
Yellow Adder: Lord of Spy Masters.
Duke Nuno: Nobody has that one, goody, you have it. Can I go dance and drink now?
Yellow Adder: Yes, sir, let me take care of the rest. Oh, by the way, you do know the musicians are those two men vomiting out the window and they stopped playing music two days ago, right?
Duke Nuno (suspicious): Yes, why?
Yellow Adder: Nothing sir, please go drink and dance again.

Yellow Adder left the party room and headed down to the kitchen. There he finds Baldrick.

Baldrick: Good morning sir.
Yellow Adder: Indeed it is. I was just anointed Lord of Spy Masters.
Baldrick (trying to look happy): Yey! Congratulations sir! Could I eat to celebrate? It’s just because I haven’t eaten in three days…
Yellow Adder (looking to the infinite): I can almost hear the crowds chanting: “All hail Adder, the Lord of Spy Masters”.
Baldrick: Don’t you mean “Yellow Adder, the Lord of Spy Masters”?
Yellow Adder (looking into the infinite): That part will be forgotten after all the conquering and pillaging we will do…

Yellow Adder looked at Baldrick and he was trying to take a bite from a shoe. Adder slapped the shoe, making the shoe slip to the ground, and Baldrick hurt in the mouth.


Baldrick (in pain): Aww!
Yellow Adder: That’s gross Baldrick! Try to be civilized for once… You’ll eat when the rests of the food come from the party upstairs…
Baldrick (crossing his arms): I’m still upset with you…
Yellow Adder: Oh, you do? Why is that?
Baldrick: Just yesterday, you were eating ribs here, and when I asked you for a taste you said…
Yellow Adder: That if you so much as breathe near my food I get sick…
Baldrick: And when you didn’t want to eat the rest of it and I asked you to give to me…
Yellow Adder: The dogs need to be fed…! They’re animals and need food, if we don’t feed them the Animal Protection will sue us.
Baldrick: And then there was a little bit of cheese the dogs didn’t want…
Yellow Adder: I had already told you that that was for the rats of the castle…
Baldrick: And when the rats ate so much one actually had a heart attack and died right there, and I asked if I could eat him…
Yellow Adder: Rats are for cats Baldrick, again, the Animal Protection… Look, if you are so hungry, you can eat your shoes, but you better get something to contain the smell that comes from those dirty bones you call feet, because last time you walked around without any shoes, people within fifty miles were complaining of burning in the eyes, lost of the sense to smell and there were reports of born babies trying to climb up the umbilical cord back to the mother’s womb.

Baldrick avidly ate the shoe. Adder watched for some seconds then decided to leave, disgusted…

Few hours later… Yellow Adder entered the room where Duke Nuno and his wife Gonçinha sleeped.


Yellow Adder: You asked for more wine?
Duke Nuno: No we didn’t Adder, you’re losing it…
Yellow Adder: Oh, damn… Then these two caskets of wine will have to go to waste… So good Porto’s wine… Oh well…
Duke Nuno: NO! Never! Leave them here.
Yellow Adder: Lady Gonçinha going to drink some too?
Gonçinha (with a manly voice): What do ya’ think? Of course!
Yellow Adder: Then I leave this casket here for you, and I’ll leave the other on the side of Duke Nuno. One for each, no sharing! Or God might be mad!
Duke Nuno: What do you mean God might be mad? Nonsense!
Yellow Adder: Because… If you share, God might conclude you’re trying to do church’s job, and God might not like it…
Duke Nuno: Oh…

Yellow Adder then left the room, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

Yellow Adder: Baldrick I’ve set in motion a plan so cunning all other cunning plans think they’re not cunning anymore.
Baldrick: How’s that? What plan? What’s a ‘cunning’?
Yellow Adder: You saw me placing the black liquid in one of the caskets of wine?
Baldrick: Yes, I drank from it, it tasted funny…
Yellow Adder: It was poison Baldrick! You tasted it? And you’re not dead? Well, with all the crap you eat, that poison is probably a rare sweet for your stomach. And if the woman doesn’t die from the poison, she’ll surely die from drinking from the same place you did. You placed the casket back where it was, right?
Baldrick: Well…
Yellow Adder (grabbing the neck of Baldrick): WELL…?
Baldrick: I placed on top of the table, but then I thought it was not on that side, and I placed on the other, but I had a feeling it was right the first time…
Yellow Adder (angry): The poisoned casket was the one on the left… You placed it back on the left, right?
Baldrick: Now you confused me… Left or right? And which is which by the way?

Yellow Adder then remembered he could still be in time to abort the plan, and ran upstairs, entered the Duke’s room. There, Gonçinha was lying on the floor with her lips black. Nuno was on the bed snoring like a gutted pig. Yellow Adder grabbed the two caskets and left…

The next morning Gonçinha was found dead, and an herbalist trying to find the cause, concluded either it was natural death, or she had died from the weirdest combination of two poisons.

The next morning the herbalist was found dead, with a root closing his throat, Yellow Adder was heard commenting in the court the herbalist must have died from natural causes or the plants had seized the day, so to speak…

Meanwhile, at Gonçinha’s funeral…


Duke Nuno (turning to Yellow Adder): You know, she died doing what she liked the most…

Yellow Adder: Drinking wine, sir?
Duke Nuno: Yelling, at me…
Yellow Adder (surprised): Yelling, who would say… You know sir, you should start looking for another partner. I heard it’s considered unholy in these lands do drink alone in the bed…
Duke Nuno (shocked): I just lost my wife, how dare you??
Yellow Adder: She is Portuguese, the oldest daughter of an heirless count, and a very attractive young female…
Duke Nuno (shocked): You still dare to talk about…
Yellow Adder: I heard she is a heavy drinker, too…
Duke Nuno (reluctant): Oh… She…
Yellow Adder: She is Portuguese, she obviously likes wine… And sir, you need a male heir…
Duke Nuno: The Duchy needs an heir… I shall do what the Duchy needs, what needs to be done…
Yellow Adder: Sure, shall I schedule the wedding then?
Duke Nuno: I just hope my wife, wherever she is, she…
Yellow Adder (turning away and leaving): I’ll take that as a yes…
Duke Nuno: She sees I had to do this, that I’ll always love her, that my love for her flows for eternity, eternity so eternal, nobody knows where it ends… Love so lovable, nobody knows what it’s…. Adder? (he looked around and didn’t find him)

As Yellow Adder was leaving the church, a woman pulled him over. Adder recognized the manly voice, from somewhere…


Loba: Silly Adder, you spiteful snake! I know it was you who murdered my mother, and I’ll prove it!
Yellow Adder: The daughter of such a lovely woman shouldn’t be so rude… Tell me, are you going to prove it anytime soon… Let’s say, in the next hour?
Loba (intrigued): No… Why?
Yellow Adder: Because I have a wedding to schedule… Excuse me.
Loba (talking to herself): I will get you Silly Adder… I will…!
 

Slinky

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Arakiel said:
Loba (talking to herself): I will get you Silly Adder… I will…!
Silly Adder, now that is an improvement. :D

I do feel a bit sorry for Baldrick. Having to eat his shoes after he has worn them seems incredibly cruel.
 

Enewald

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lawl, natural causes.... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Another excellent chapter!!!

WHAT is Baldrick? :D
 

unmerged(83622)

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Häh, Yellow Adder reminds me wonderfully much of Blackadder Mk II -- such cunning, such grace in plotting. :D