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The French are not going to be happy about this betrayal but I'm sure Germany will be friendly and stable all the way into the new century.
Indeed. Thank god Bismark will live forever and is actually in charge of that country...

Oh.

...shit.
 
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Chapter XXXVIII: Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts
From the personal diaries of Cardinal Vincenzo Fatta

Sunday 21st of May 1882
Our eternal enemies, the Greeks, have returned once again to spread chaos and deceit in our province of the Peloponnese with no regard for our wishes to make proper use of the land that they squander. I now understand the urgency with which Pope Innocent and Cardinal Felicetti assigned this mission to me, and I am determined to make the most of my role.
In the beginning, I thought that this would be nothing but a ceremonial show of Papal presence as was the case throughout the reign of Pope Callixtus, but things became far more interesting. My first public appearance was for the inauguration of the new naval base in Corinth which will serve the Papal States well by strengthening our position in the area. I did not expect much to happen on the occasion, but I was confronted by a large crowd of Greek delinquents and layabouts who shouted the raving slogans that their puppetmasters plant into their feeble minds until nothing else could be heard. The soldiers I had brought along for security at the event were quick to isolate these elements from the circle of dignitaries present from Rome and the local Italian communities but, despite our best efforts, these reprobates found a way to escalate the situation and commit the violence that is so dear to them. The Greeks threw stones at our servicemen and struck a few with enough force to require medical attention; when the mob sensed blood and launched an attack with stones and clubs, we were only saved by the quick thinking of the officer in charge of our protection who ordered shots to be fired into our attackers and managed to successfully avoid further bloodshed. I was honored to present the man with a medal for his service and I shall make sure to have him with me whenever the need for decisive action should arise.

AuXrQafl.jpg

Not content with this initial round of sedition, the Greeks have started to target government buildings and minor officials with bomb attacks and attempted assassinations that, thank God, were mostly discovered and undone before they could be carried out. I grew concerned enough with these activities that I decided to form a specific task force to infiltrate these terrorist groups and give us reliable information on the leaders of these bands and what it is that they are plotting. Though it is still early days, we have managed to introduce a fair number of informants into a few different terrorist cells, and we are receiving a steady stream of information about the plans and connections of these subversives. We confirmed the expected connections to communists based in Switzerland and Greek radicals in Athens, but it was most concerning to find out where the Peloponnesian groups are sending support in turn. It appears that a number of underground congregations in Italy, particularly the North but also Naples, have been reaching out and have been reached out to for the purpose of gathering seditious literature or funds and imparting instructions on how to destabilize the church and state. Of course, I wrote this information to the pope as soon as I received it to make sure that he does not underestimate this threat that might even reach Rome itself; in the meantime, I decided to organize the abduction of a few of the middlemen to be replaced with our own agents.
I am now in the process of planning which ringleaders should be dealt with in short order and which require a lengthier treatment. I have heard rumors of plans for an attempt on my life as well so I will work through the night to ensure that all is ready for a first blow early tomorrow.

Sunday 20th of August 1882
I am disappointed to confirm that the communist plague has infected its first members on Italian soil as I had reason to suspect in the last months. The agitators are taking advantage of the outdated free press law to distribute communist propaganda in public outside the main factories in Naples and nothing has been done to stop them. When I initially arrived here, there was talk of fully-fledged rallies being organized to take place within the city itself with plans to even threaten the king if their gripes were not dealt with. I made sure to shut down these movements before any such thing came to pass and I asked Pope Innocent for a blanket authorization to indefinitely detain the troublemakers and use force against any larger movements that might surface despite our prohibition.

K8Tlilfl.jpg

To my immense frustration, the pope was not willing to grant me these powers, rather he ordered me to refrain from violence in handling this matter and, at most, to imprison anyone who assaults government officials. I fear that Innocent is far too optimistic about the restraint of these individuals; if they are shown to be tolerated then swarms of sinners will come out of the woodwork and corrupt those who may otherwise have been saved. I was at a loss as to how I could both respect the pope's orders and properly deal with the communist problem, so I wrote to Cardinal Felicetti for guidance and, as ever, he has provided me with a suitable solution for the time being. He suggested that I look into the sources of income for these groups to make a note of any prominent figures that I can find and that I talk with local industrialists to organize an unofficial display of displeasure towards the rabble-rousers.
It took me several days to believe the evidence that there are traces of clerical money in the seditionists' coffers especially at the local level where misguided members of monastic orders, Franciscans chief among them, have chosen to finance the work that is being done to undermine God and the State. However, the most sickening thing I have found is circumstantial evidence that Cardinal Lisi himself sent large anonymous payments to a number of associations across the country. Now, he acted with well-practiced deceit and managed to garble the transactions enough that they will never stand up as evidence against him, but it is enough for me to know that this crime was committed. These concerning developments gave me new resolve in my discussions with the local capitalists who had so far limited themselves to firings and minor beatings, but they also understood these measures to be insufficient for the state of the crisis. Here the brashness of the communists came in handy since it took only a few days of searching to identify the ringleaders and their homes. With this information in hand, I encouraged my collaborators to target these individuals and their families directly until they repent, to both break the resolve of their collaborators and redeem any potential converts to their cause.
Fortunately, it seems that these measures have started to take effect with public pamphleting reduced to a minimum and the disappearance of some of the most virulent preachers of Marx's gospel. I pray to God that He may smite these unbelievers while I act as His instrument on Earth to ensure that the sinful do not taint the rest of the flock and are themselves prostrated for judgment.

Tuesday 4th of September 1883
Things have gotten fully out of hand in Greece, and I can no longer contain my disdain for the pope's cowardice. I can only believe that this is some test of my resolve because there is no other way to interpret the shameful display I was forced to witness in these past weeks. Innocent even chose to replace me in my role before I was allowed to fully resign in response to his negligence. I am insulted at every turn.
The damnable Greeks will surely be ecstatic to hear that they can now murder and destroy at will and, rather than being punished for their transgressions, the pope will bend to their whims and berate the murdered governor and policemen for their audacity. All I asked for was an armed force to protect the Catholics in the region from wanton cruelty, but these soldiers are forbidden from using their weapons on those who would not give a second thought to taking their lives.
This is to say nothing of the industrial future of the region. What investor in his right mind would choose to build a factory in a land he knows to be infested with dissidents when those same dissidents are known to use violence for their own selfish gains. I cannot understand how the pope thought that forcing the capitalists to negotiate with a baying mob would solve any issues whatsoever. The masses demanded to be treated like kings and then dispersed satisfied with their ill-gotten gains, leaving upstanding members of society to recover from the fear for their own lives.
I will return to Rome as soon as the preparations are completed and will voice my concerns to the more reasonable members of the Curia, a pope who cannot be expected to hold to reason is a danger to us all and the very soul of the Church. I pray that God may grant me guidance in this holy mission.
 
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The Greeks threw stones at our servicemen and struck a few with enough force to require medical attention; when the mob sensed blood and launched an attack with stones and clubs, we were only saved by the quick thinking of the officer in charge of our protection who ordered shots to be fired into our attackers and managed to successfully avoid further bloodshed.
That's certainly one way to describe this course of events!

Not content with this initial round of sedition, the Greeks have started to target government buildings and minor officials with bomb attacks and attempted assassinations that, thank God, were mostly discovered and undone before they could be carried out. I grew concerned enough with these activities that I decided to form a specific task force to infiltrate these terrorist groups and give us reliable information on the leaders of these bands and what it is that they are plotting.
As always, it is the (sometimes very real!) radicals who are used to justify all manner of actions against an unhappy populace.

With this information in hand, I encouraged my collaborators to target these individuals and their families directly until they repent, to both break the resolve of their collaborators and redeem any potential converts to their cause.
Did anyone really think it would take these guys very long before learning how to use Christian rhetoric to cloak or disguise brutal crackdowns by security services?

Innocent even chose to replace me in my role before I was allowed to fully resign in response to his negligence. I am insulted at every turn.
I love how people like this literally cannot conceive of another way of viewing the world that might differ from their own. All the hallmarks of sociopathy.

We have our first late imperial/proto fascist everyone! Get out your bingo cards and remember, bonus points for the centre square (The Jews!).
Ooh I'm very excited to play this game!
 
Ooh I'm very excited to play this game!
People may dispute whether they are facists or 'merely' late game colonialists but the distinction is pretty minor in practice.

If some of these guys get in power (or worse, in charge of the few colonies Italy does have), we could be in for some huge civil unrest...
 
People may dispute whether they are facists or 'merely' late game colonialists but the distinction is pretty minor in practice.
Given that fascist now means "Someone I don't like" that's probably the word of choice, because Cardinal Fatta does indeed appear to be a wrong-un.

While on the subject this is a chance to bring up this absolutely mad fact; at the first fascist international conference the delegates agreed the following resolution "the Jewish question cannot be converted into a universal campaign of hatred against the Jews". It is darkly amusing to me that the one thing everyone agrees fascist are, genocidally anti-Semitic, is one of the few things the various fascist parties in Europe agreed they weren't, though as you might guess the Nazis boycotted that conference so don't count. I think this resolution in part explains why the Nazis almost never used the existing fascist parties in the conquered countries for their puppet governments - they didn't trust them to be murderous enough when the time came. I feel I should also state that most of said parties were thoroughly nasty types in many other ways and that just stating that there is a Jewish Question is a pretty racist thing to do.

If some of these guys get in power (or worse, in charge of the few colonies Italy does have), we could be in for some huge civil unrest...
Indeed. This is why I am rooting for Pope Fatta, the best hope we have for someone to bring the Papacy down from the inside through shear pig headed, incompetent, bigoted evil. Plus it would be appropriate if it is a hard liner who brings about the fall of the Papal States and the ruin of Catholicism.
 
Sounds like Innocent is about to face trouble in the Curia. For some reason, I can’t get this totally unrelated and not at all relevant song out of my head


While on the subject this is a chance to bring up this absolutely mad fact; at the first fascist international conference the delegates agreed the following resolution "the Jewish question cannot be converted into a universal campaign of hatred against the Jews". It is darkly amusing to me that the one thing everyone agrees fascist are, genocidally anti-Semitic, is one of the few things the various fascist parties in Europe agreed they weren't
This was also very true of the British fascist movement, whose various tendencies used to come to blows around the time Mosley first came through on the subject of whether they were being sufficiently antisemitic. (The validity of their judgement is perhaps best expressed by the fact that it was the BUF that was meant to be lacking in its enthusiasm for that particular bigotry…)
 
This was also very true of the British fascist movement, whose various tendencies used to come to blows around the time Mosley first came through on the subject of whether they were being sufficiently antisemitic. (The validity of their judgement is perhaps best expressed by the fact that it was the BUF that was meant to be lacking in its enthusiasm for that particular bigotry…)
It could be worse, they could have been Mussolini. Best I can tell was never particularly anti-semetic personally, he had plenty of Jews in the party and indeed in his cabinets in the 20s and early 30s, but then in 1938 decided to enact a 'Racial Law' because he wanted to firm up the alliance with Germany and thought that would help. The relevant quote being "I don't believe a bit in the stupid anti-Semitic theory. I am carrying out my policy entirely for political reasons." Even as a connoisseur of darkly cynical politicians, that attitude is a bit much.
 
Given that fascist now means "Someone I don't like" that's probably the word of choice, because Cardinal Fatta does indeed appear to be a wrong-un.
Invented in Italy, so may well come about.
While on the subject this is a chance to bring up this absolutely mad fact; at the first fascist international conference the delegates agreed the following resolution "the Jewish question cannot be converted into a universal campaign of hatred against the Jews". It is darkly amusing to me that the one thing everyone agrees fascist are, genocidally anti-Semitic, is one of the few things the various fascist parties in Europe agreed they weren't, though as you might guess the Nazis boycotted that conference so don't count.
On the one hand, it's 'good' that the various other fscist parties were content with merely being unpleasant to various minorities (excluding colonials of course) but on the other, at least the nazis seemed to actually believe their Bullshit. If you genuinely think that most of the human population is dangerous by simply existing, then you sort of have to resort to extreme measures.

These other guys were just posers (in comparison at least).
 
On the one hand, it's 'good' that the various other fscist parties were content with merely being unpleasant to various minorities (excluding colonials of course) but on the other, at least the nazis seemed to actually believe their Bullshit. If you genuinely think that most of the human population is dangerous by simply existing, then you sort of have to resort to extreme measures.

These other guys were just posers (in comparison at least).
I always felt that what made Nazism so scary was that they were a gang of incompetent buffoons who believed their own bullshit and yet were successful in their project of murderous evil.
 
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I always felt that what made Nazism so scary was that they were a gang of incompetent buffoons who believed their own bullshit and yet were successful in their project of murderous evil.
The things you can do when helped by millions of other people.
 
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Satan and all his minions?

Ah...of course.

Ding ding ding!

We have our first late imperial/proto fascist everyone! Get out your bingo cards and remember, bonus points for the centre square (The Jews!).
People may dispute whether they are facists or 'merely' late game colonialists but the distinction is pretty minor in practice.

If some of these guys get in power (or worse, in charge of the few colonies Italy does have), we could be in for some huge civil unrest...
There is definitely a fascist current rising in Italy but it still hasn't reached maturity. It still needs time and some humiliating catalyst to come into full effect.
That's certainly one way to describe this course of events!


As always, it is the (sometimes very real!) radicals who are used to justify all manner of actions against an unhappy populace.


Did anyone really think it would take these guys very long before learning how to use Christian rhetoric to cloak or disguise brutal crackdowns by security services?


I love how people like this literally cannot conceive of another way of viewing the world that might differ from their own. All the hallmarks of sociopathy.


Ooh I'm very excited to play this game!
Fatta is growing into a master of bending Christian rhetoric to less than Christian actions but he's been halted for now. You'll find out in due time how well he'll take this development.
Given that fascist now means "Someone I don't like" that's probably the word of choice, because Cardinal Fatta does indeed appear to be a wrong-un.

While on the subject this is a chance to bring up this absolutely mad fact; at the first fascist international conference the delegates agreed the following resolution "the Jewish question cannot be converted into a universal campaign of hatred against the Jews". It is darkly amusing to me that the one thing everyone agrees fascist are, genocidally anti-Semitic, is one of the few things the various fascist parties in Europe agreed they weren't, though as you might guess the Nazis boycotted that conference so don't count. I think this resolution in part explains why the Nazis almost never used the existing fascist parties in the conquered countries for their puppet governments - they didn't trust them to be murderous enough when the time came. I feel I should also state that most of said parties were thoroughly nasty types in many other ways and that just stating that there is a Jewish Question is a pretty racist thing to do.


Indeed. This is why I am rooting for Pope Fatta, the best hope we have for someone to bring the Papacy down from the inside through shear pig headed, incompetent, bigoted evil. Plus it would be appropriate if it is a hard liner who brings about the fall of the Papal States and the ruin of Catholicism.
Though I am no expert in the matter, I assume that being rabidly xenophobic was the entry requirement, and hating the Jews was a regional variant that was more or less convenient based on the time.

Without spoiling too much, it will be a while before the next conclave but when the time comes there will be a lot to discuss.
Sounds like Innocent is about to face trouble in the Curia. For some reason, I can’t get this totally unrelated and not at all relevant song out of my head



This was also very true of the British fascist movement, whose various tendencies used to come to blows around the time Mosley first came through on the subject of whether they were being sufficiently antisemitic. (The validity of their judgement is perhaps best expressed by the fact that it was the BUF that was meant to be lacking in its enthusiasm for that particular bigotry…)
Innocent can look forward to a very divided curia. After Callixtus, the body only had people who wanted to continue progressing forever and those who wanted to throw away the whole nineteenth century and purge all the heresy.
It could be worse, they could have been Mussolini. Best I can tell was never particularly anti-semetic personally, he had plenty of Jews in the party and indeed in his cabinets in the 20s and early 30s, but then in 1938 decided to enact a 'Racial Law' because he wanted to firm up the alliance with Germany and thought that would help. The relevant quote being "I don't believe a bit in the stupid anti-Semitic theory. I am carrying out my policy entirely for political reasons." Even as a connoisseur of darkly cynical politicians, that attitude is a bit much.
Invented in Italy, so may well come about.

On the one hand, it's 'good' that the various other fscist parties were content with merely being unpleasant to various minorities (excluding colonials of course) but on the other, at least the nazis seemed to actually believe their Bullshit. If you genuinely think that most of the human population is dangerous by simply existing, then you sort of have to resort to extreme measures.

These other guys were just posers (in comparison at least).
I always felt that what made Nazism so scary was that they were a gang of incompetent buffoons who believed their own bullshit and yet were successful in their project of murderous evil.
The things you can do when helped by millions of other people.
Yes, the banality of evil comes to mind in this case; the most atrocious things can be done just out of convenience.
 
Chapter XXXIX: New Things
From the personal diaries of Pope Innocent XV

Sunday 23rd of September 1888
I am amazed that even after two wars this year I am forced to deal with strife yet again. Fortunately, this form of conflict is better matched to my skills so I'm not forced to send someone after it but can deal with the problem myself. The workers have grown more audacious now that the war wounded are on their way home and factories have trouble finding enough people to work in them with strikes having become a problem. When I first heard of them last month, I thought it would be a minor thing to keep in mind and an inconvenience to a factory owner I will never know but in these past weeks there is news of a new protest almost every other day and I am swamped by requests and petitions.
The latest one is from certain Milanese entrepreneurs who asked me in tones that were none too veiled to allow for the use of violence or other forms of coercion to break the strength of the unions.
Like most problems I've had to face, this one is due to Callixtus' reforms, and I cannot imagine what possessed him to allow for socialist-led unions when these are the people that stand against all that the Church works for. I'm not opposed to the principle of a representative body to prevent abuses, but this is a perversion of that principle and provides dangerous breeding grounds for sedition. On the other hand, I can't just allow people to take the law into their own hands and attack their fellow citizens in the streets because that's just what the anarchists and communists would want from us.
This is why I intend to refuse this request before too many others get similar ideas. I can stop this sort of thing for the moment but the longer the situation persists the more dangerous it will become; for certain people, our laws are too permissive to the workers and for others, they are not enough, in any case, no one will be happy. If Callixtus had limited himself to gradual concessions, then there might have been enough time to adjust to the new situation and prevent social unrest but he chose to rush things and leaves me hounded by those who wish to turn back the clock and those who want to continue at a break-neck pace. Felicetti has been quite vocal in his requests to go back on a few of those reforms to reduce the spread of dangerous ideas, press censorship and the return to state-run unions would be especially useful to me in this context. But, while this would be a substantial aid at the moment, I can't just overturn the laws of a previous pope on a whim. Firstly, I cannot think of any way the Senate would accept such a thing, most of the members have to answer to the locals, and stripping away rights is never popular; secondly, it would set a dangerous precedent if I were to bend under the pressure of common citizens, this would lead to political violence within a mere few years. And, finally, while Felicetti is a valuable member of the Curia, I don't think that he should dictate policy to me; I know that he wants the power that Lisi once held but there can and must be only one pope in the Church and he mustn't get any ideas.
All of these worries have exhausted me to the point of light-headedness, and I am sure that no good will come of pondering this far into the night. Tomorrow I will refuse the petition and that is all I need to decide at the moment There is still time for the other provisions.

O4s6hwMl.png

Saturday 25th of April 1891
I have begun work on an encyclical to once and for all clear up the Church's thoughts on the nature of the modern industrial world. I hoped to put this off for a while longer, but it has become obvious that the lack of a coherent message has brought our country to the brink of some disastrous movements. The fight between workers and bosses has involved a destructive spiral of violence and the problem can no longer be addressed by decisions on single cases.
"Rerum Novarum" will have to make clear to all that the Papacy and the Italian State abhor this bloodshed in the most absolute terms. As fellow Christians and Italians, these are not justifications to shed one another's blood, but we must endeavor to resolve our differences in such a way that will allow us to progress peacefully into the new century. Now, this declaration is the simple part; a goal that anyone can get behind without too much fuss, but how these conflicts are to be solved is the real issue. Callixtus tried to address this problem with laws in the workers' favor, but this has only made them hunger for their next privilege, I have attempted to mediate in single cases but that is not applicable as countless factories require guidance. As such, I don't believe that the State should handle this matter but rather facilitate civil discussion and negotiations. How to do this is another major question, of course, the state is called to ensure the physical safety of all the people involved with an efficient police force but, besides that, people forced to come to an agreement rarely respect it. It might be good to allow for appeals to a higher authority, but it would be best for it to come with some sort of penalty to both sides to encourage proper discussion before they pass the burden onto the state, maybe a fine for both the bosses and the unions could be a good compromise.
I'm aware that I don't much know about the conditions of these workers or the details of their complaints, but I have been reading up on old Callixtine records and talking with a few friendly factory owners to understand the situation. The way I see it, the fault of the matter lies with rapacious bosses who push their employees beyond their natural inclination or do not provide them with enough payment to sustain ever-growing families. Some of these even contravene the minimum wage laws already in place so it would be a good idea to strengthen controls in that direction to ensure that only working conditions be worried about without the salary factoring too much into negotiations.
That said, my thoughts have drifted with increasing frequency to the threat of communism and its spread. What was once a minor problem in the Peloponnese has spread out to the rest of Italy where I am informed that secret groups plot the downfall of both Church and State. While they do have some legitimate grievances against the excesses of capitalism, their insistence on destruction makes even mild compromise unfeasible while it forces local police forces to use harsher measures to prevent this sedition. These secret societies often prey on foolish young factory workers and fill their impressionable minds with lies and distortions of the truth which they, in turn, spread to those they know in the countryside or during military service. A calamity of this magnitude would be painful to suppress in favorable circumstances, but I find myself further trapped since I can't limit press freedoms without creating new discontents while I also can't just let this talk travel freely without any sort of punishment. For the time being, I will just ensure that "Rerum Novarum" condemns such destructive thought in the harshest terms, and then I will have to have several in-depth discussions with the Curia about how to handle this issue for the foreseeable future.

Monday 17th of October 1892
Today was the proof that the new measures really work and, if complete stability cannot be obtained, at least peace is achieved. As with most such things, unfortunate news came to me from the Peloponnese where region-wide strikes have been destabilizing the area. This would not normally be cause for me to intervene personally, but the local governor informed me that things were becoming ever more dangerous with the addition of communist agitators in the crowd who were calling for the overthrow of the government. Thankfully, in the post "Rerum Novarum" period, I managed to make it so that the use of large-scale violence can only be done if expressly allowed by the pope himself. As it so happens, the governor asked me for the authority to use the garrison to disperse the rabble by any means necessary which would certainly drive the communists back into their holes. The new law came into effect when I replied that this was a terrible idea, and he shouldn't do anything of the sort but only take care to occupy strategic buildings in the main cities and wait for the protests to burn themselves out. These workers might be full of will to fight now while they still have money but, after enough weeks away from work, they will be forced to make reasonable requests of their employers or even return without too much of a fuss.

AGlHFFjl.jpg

Of course, the main drawback of this approach is that the communists will continue their infection of Greece for the foreseeable future. Cardinal Fatta's previous attempts to excise dangerous elements did not yield the desired fruits so it might be worth easing restrictions just enough for the people to notice how absurd the Marxist claims are and become naturally disillusioned with the idea. Besides that, I think I've done as much as I can to address the root cause of the problem, I just need to wait for the effects to make themselves manifest.
 
Turns out this Italian empire idea was a horrible one. Who'd have thunk it?
 
the state is called to ensure the physical safety of all the people involved
Hmmm... maybe we can take this line of reasoning a little farther, see where it goes?

Thankfully, in the post "Rerum Novarum" period, I managed to make it so that the use of large-scale violence can only be done if expressly allowed by the pope himself.
Yes, let's have more informal rules that rely on the personal charisma of the Pope to maintain order and cohesion!

Innocent's decision to sit and wait seems like a disaster waiting to happen. He might be correct in the long run, but it won't matter if the short-term problems get too large too fast. As they say in finance, the market can remain irrational longer than you can stay solvent.
 
As fellow Christians and Italians, these are not justifications to shed one another's blood,
It is indeed only justifable to shed loads of Christian non-Italian blood as many Greek would confirm, if they hadn't been killed by Papal troops.
These secret societies often prey on foolish young factory workers and fill their impressionable minds with lies and distortions of the truth which they, in turn, spread to those they know in the countryside or during military service
There is only place in Italy for one entitled group of obsessive theorists obsessed with the ideas of a badly written book that allegedly promises a better life but only seems to deliver bloodshed, and it sure as hell is not available for the Marxists.
 
Yeah this Italian Empire was a horrible idea and the other powers need to band together and kill it quick.

It might be good to allow for appeals to a higher authority,
So the plan is collective bargaining with… God?

their insistence on destruction makes even mild compromise unfeasible while it forces local police forces to use harsher measures to prevent this sedition.
“Mama Mia! I wish you hadn’t called for the destruction of the state. Now I will be forced to kill you extrajudicially. Look what you made me do!”

it might be worth easing restrictions just enough for the people to notice how absurd the Marxist claims are and become naturally disillusioned with the idea.
Uhhh… are you sure you want to go there, Mr Leader of the Catholic Church?
 
Yeah this Italian Empire was a horrible idea and the other powers need to band together and kill it quick.


So the plan is collective bargaining with… God?


“Mama Mia! I wish you hadn’t called for the destruction of the state. Now I will be forced to kill you extrajudicially. Look what you made me do!”


Uhhh… are you sure you want to go there, Mr Leader of the Catholic Church?

It is indeed only justifable to shed loads of Christian non-Italian blood as many Greek would confirm, if they hadn't been killed by Papal troops.

There is only place in Italy for one entitled group of obsessive theorists obsessed with the ideas of a badly written book that allegedly promises a better life but only seems to deliver bloodshed, and it sure as hell is not available for the Marxists.
Hmmm... maybe we can take this line of reasoning a little farther, see where it goes?


Yes, let's have more informal rules that rely on the personal charisma of the Pope to maintain order and cohesion!

Innocent's decision to sit and wait seems like a disaster waiting to happen. He might be correct in the long run, but it won't matter if the short-term problems get too large too fast. As they say in finance, the market can remain irrational longer than you can stay solvent.
Oh no, its the Catholic Church...

This isn't going to end well for just about everyone

 
Turns out this Italian empire idea was a horrible one. Who'd have thunk it?
Yeah... It turns out that the 19th century was a mistake and we'd like to ask if we can get a refund for all these ethnic tensions we accidentally created on purpose.
Hmmm... maybe we can take this line of reasoning a little farther, see where it goes?


Yes, let's have more informal rules that rely on the personal charisma of the Pope to maintain order and cohesion!

Innocent's decision to sit and wait seems like a disaster waiting to happen. He might be correct in the long run, but it won't matter if the short-term problems get too large too fast. As they say in finance, the market can remain irrational longer than you can stay solvent.
You've caught the problem there. This all only works if the pope is reasonable and at least a little decent. But there will never be a bad pope, will there?
It is indeed only justifable to shed loads of Christian non-Italian blood as many Greek would confirm, if they hadn't been killed by Papal troops.

There is only place in Italy for one entitled group of obsessive theorists obsessed with the ideas of a badly written book that allegedly promises a better life but only seems to deliver bloodshed, and it sure as hell is not available for the Marxists.
I propose a battle in the colosseum with the strongest priest against the strongest communist. It's the only way to know who's right.
Yeah this Italian Empire was a horrible idea and the other powers need to band together and kill it quick.


So the plan is collective bargaining with… God?


“Mama Mia! I wish you hadn’t called for the destruction of the state. Now I will be forced to kill you extrajudicially. Look what you made me do!”


Uhhh… are you sure you want to go there, Mr Leader of the Catholic Church?
Innocent is trying and not exactly succeeding but hey, if it kicks the can down the road long enough then we can stop worrying.
Oh no, its the Catholic Church...

This isn't going to end well for just about everyone

I will have to add that clip to my collection. There will be plenty of chances to use it in the future.
 
Chapter XL: Kaiser Bill Blunders onto the Stage
From the personal diaries of Cardinal Giulio Felicetti

Thursday 24th of November 1887
I find myself in Berlin once more and yet again I have managed to hammer out a deal with the Iron Chancellor. I had no doubt that this would have been a successful mission when he honored our alliance pact last December mere days after France abandoned us following their defeat in a pointless colonial war. Now it seems that Innocent intends to truly unify the Italian people and has set his eyes on Nice and Savoy. I had a moment of worry when the German ambassador in Rome relayed information to the effect that the Kaiser would not aid us in a conflict against France if we were to be seen as aggressors. Though I could have gained this support from a distance, I jumped at the occasion to travel North to secure our national interests and find an intelligent interlocutor, which is the rarest of commodities.
I hadn't seen Bismarck in person since the conference four years ago and I found him as vigorous and titanic as ever. We spent many pleasant evenings together deep in discussion on the fate of Europe and the folly of lesser men as we rekindled our friendship, long held by correspondence. It is truly rare to find an equal in this world, but the Lord has granted me a companion to go along with His gifts and I am forever grateful.
This is to say that after an idyllic week, I managed to secure German support for an invasion of France so long as the conflict is framed as a struggle to unite the Italian peoples in one country, this is mainly to not compromise the Reich's image as a sated power. I do not have anything to object to in this regard since it manages to secure a powerful ally and allows for a greater Italy that can be pursued at the expense of both France and Austria-Hungary.
I do not expect the fighting to last particularly long in the first place since the French appear to have voted in an Anarcho-Liberal government. Whatever that really means in practice, they have decided to remove the influence of the government as much as possible from day-to-day affairs, we shall see how well this model will work in war.
All that is left now is to determine who should lead the effort, I suggested myself to Innocent in light of my spotless record from the Sicilian war, but he refused with some feeble excuse about my busy schedule. When have I ever been too busy for an important task? In any case, it might be good to get Fatta in the mix even though I don't know much about his military capabilities, but I'm told that his crowd control was competently executed if a little over violent, which should be an asset in this new context. I will write to him first and see if he is up to the task and if so, I can follow up with the Pope. Innocent is worrying me recently; it seems that he is growing into his power and ill tolerates my advice; I will certainly need to adopt a softer touch in the years to come.

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Monday 15th of February 1892
An obscene weight has taken up residence in my stomach ever since Bismarck's forced retirement by that brute Wilhelm. That young man has shown nothing but the impetuousness of youth with his dismissal of wise counsel and desire to engage in aggressions that would never have been considered under the previous administration. Even more disturbing is his absurd fascination with socialist policies, he reminds me altogether of a more boisterous Callixtus who destroys every trace of the careful work laid down by his predecessors.
This matter with Spain has already been enough of a nuisance as it is, and I fully intend to put an end to German encroachment in the Mediterranean. I had to carefully prepare the field before my meeting with the Queen Regent with some veiled suggestions that Kaiser Wilhelm might be interested in placing Leopold Hohenzollern back on the throne he had lost during the republic; there is no doubt that a six-year-old king has precious little legitimacy to spend. This worked well enough that the German ambassador was expelled from Madrid on some suitably thin pretext which allowed me to work on the queen without any interference.
Though I expected to deal with a foolish girl, I was pleasantly surprised to find that she is a woman of firm virtue and unbounded piety, both qualities that we were pleased to share. We spoke at length about the importance of Spain as a Catholic monarchy and the priority of little Alfonso's safety. She did not take long to see my view and fully agree that Spain's best place is in Italy's orbit, but she feared that her ministers would not listen to her without some greater guarantee.

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I then telegraphed Rome with a request for a large amount of funds to secure our southern deterrent to France and I received carte blanche to act as I thought most prudent. I must be grateful that Italy is currently in an economic boom of sorts and there is no real shortage of funds to spend on foreign policy endeavors; a blessing for which I should correspond with Cardinal Trinca, I am curious to know more about the extent of our capabilities. In any case, I managed to secure one hundred and thirty million dramme for a number of investments to be made on Spanish soil with the clear indication that these funds would have to be recalled if the Spanish government were to abandon its favored position with Italy. The document contained a plan for a new state-of-the-art steamer shipyard to be built in Granada and my favorite part is the Girona-Madrid-Cadiz Railway dubbed the Marian Railroad for both the Queen Regent and the Mother of God. The railroad was an especially good idea since it will not only prove a permanent reminder of our patronage of the region but also allow for rapid deployment of troops towards France if a new conflict were to arise. This resulted in a request by Prime Minister Sagasta for an audience to personally thank me for the support of his nation and assure me that the German ambassadors would merely be maintained as a courtesy but would no longer have sway on the Spanish government or foreign policy.
At last, despite the inordinate amount of work in proportion to the advantage gained, I have managed to secure the Mediterranean for the time being. I still hold out hope that Wilhelm will have learned his lesson and will choose a more collaborative approach with Italy, but I would not call myself surprised if his wounded pride might search for some other path to glory. However that may be, I can celebrate for today and plan my next moves in the morning, even the Lord himself rested after all.

Monday 13th of February 1893
I find myself in Berlin again to deal with some godforsaken province at the end of the world and I find Russians and Britons around me just like the last time. This visit was made all the more frustrating by the firm opposition of those who claim to be our allies. If Wilhelm were truly interested in a resolution for this dispute between Spain and the Netherlands, then we could have had a private discussion and found an amicable way to divide up those God-forsaken islands but it seems that the Kaiser wants to punish Spain for its loyalty to Italy. As such, he had to turn to saber-rattling and the risk of armed conflict by calling up a grand conference. He didn't even invite Bismarck to negotiate, the old man does nothing but wait in Hamburg for someone to make use of his skills but there is no one in Germany wise enough to ask for his aid. I really must visit Otto when this mess is over, but I can thank the Lord that the Germans might have finally caved to our demands.
I had begun to converse with Girs since we had been acquainted during the Bessarabian crisis and hinted that Italy would be a strong Central European ally to the Tsar and an added deterrent to any ambitions from an expansionist Germany. Though this did get his attention, it appears that Russian foreign policy is mostly based around fear of a German attack now that Japan has sent out feelers in the West, so I received refusal after refusal regardless of the angle I took. Despite this unpleasant reality, I obtained a guarantee that Russia would enforce the decision of the conference but would not take a side for the time being. If we are to attract Russia in the future, then I fear that we will need to secure a sufficiently strong deterrent in the far East and the British are really the closest available option.
Speaking of which, this time I was met with Lord Dalmeny who showed himself to be infinitely more competent than the insipid Earl Granville that I was forced to deal with last time. Following my withdrawal from the Russian front, I tried my luck with Britain by going to the root of the conference. It is clear to everyone that Britain wishes to be the pre-eminent power on the seas and thus it should wish the Caroline Islands be handed to the country less likely to be rival to ensure that no threats are made to its hegemony. Spain is evidently a shadow of its former self and holds on to the Philippines by sheer force of shame, but the Netherlands have vast possessions in the East Indies and a powerful navy to protect those islands and their possessions in Africa. I think I had Dalmeny in my pocket as soon as I mentioned threats to British imperialism, but I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I resolved to both sweeten the deal and punish Germany for its insolence by giving the disputed German South Somaliland to the British under the pretext of "ensuring the security of Indian Ocean shipping routes". This proposal left Dalmeny positively salivating at the prospect of an extra colony, so he felt emboldened to put the weight of the British Empire behind the Italian proposal.
I saw Marschall von Bieberstein frantically trying to convince Girs to go back on his promise and support Germany but there was little to be done there, given the forces that are arrayed against them. We have thus decided to sign a treaty handing the Caroline Islands to Spain and South Somaliland to Britain tomorrow morning. I hope Wilhelm will have learned his lesson.

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