L'Affaire Georgia.
In the middle years of the fifteenth century, a great hue and cry arose in Europe about the great size, wealth, and power of the realm of Georgia. This hue and cry was by no means new. In fact, raising such a hue and cry about the realms of Brittany, Italy, Georgia, or (in the distant past, before their decline) Novgorod was practically a household game practiced by the heads of the Roman Commonwealth.
Like all such practices, things were all fun and games until someone lost an eye. Brittany had, at the least, been temporarily blinded around the turn of the century. Before that, Chromatic Letters and Diplomatic Events ensured that someone fell on a metaphorical stick every few decades. Now, it was Georgia’s turn.
The particular stick here (ironically, for reasons that will become clear) was the island of Taiwan, ceded from Far Cathay to Georgia for…something. None of the West was quite sure what. Nor, for that matter, were they quite sure about the locations of Taiwan, or Far Cathay for that matter. The rumor that the Georgian ambassador sold his daughter to become a concubine of the Chinese ambassador is almost certainly false. We are less certain that the parallel rumor about the Georgian ambassador’s son is false, but we think so.
In any event, the knowledge that there was land to be conquered that was being granted to Georgia, and not to anyone else in the West, managed to distract the various sovereigns from their usual backstabbing for a moment or two. Long enough to plan a campaign. Taiwan would be ceded to (well, anyone, so long as the one was neither Georgian, Chinese, or Western), Georgia would give over the monopolization of the Holy Land, the Timurid lands would be recreated, and perhaps the Crimea would be ceded to Prussia. Byzantium and Egypt were initially designated the recipients of the Levantine territory, as neighbors small enough not to be a threat, but Byzantium was removed after they refused to participate.
Who was the leader of the Western Alliance? Some say the Norwegians were the driving force. It is true that Ynglings are born to deception, and then refine it through training (and stabbing each other in the back). But how could the Norwegians have convinced the Germans or the Bretons to join in their madcap endeavour? Others say the Italians were the driving force. Certainly the final negotiations were handled by Italy. But slowly. Slowly enough for the Italians to have been relaying proposals from a higher master. Some say it was Prussia, weakening Russian allies. No one ever suggests Germany, Egypt, or Brittany, for different reasons. Occasionally someone suggests India, usually when extremely drunk. The Indian suggestion usually meets with the ridicule it deserves.
Whoever the leader was, the troops arrived in reasonable force, drove back the Georgian forces, and occupied large chunks of the Levant. Treacherous Novgorod reneged on prior commitments to stay neutral, and instead waged war both North and South. The Novgorod entry in the war, although initially worrisome, proved a false hope for Georgia; Novgorod quickly fell to internal rebels and could not aid Georgia. But time had marched on, and the Western Allies began to be weary of war. So they offered peace for merely the coastline of the Levant and the Red Sea. And so there was peace.
But the Western Allies forgot, in their haste, about the Taiwanese stick that had started the entire process. And so there are rumours of war.
In the middle years of the fifteenth century, a great hue and cry arose in Europe about the great size, wealth, and power of the realm of Georgia. This hue and cry was by no means new. In fact, raising such a hue and cry about the realms of Brittany, Italy, Georgia, or (in the distant past, before their decline) Novgorod was practically a household game practiced by the heads of the Roman Commonwealth.
Like all such practices, things were all fun and games until someone lost an eye. Brittany had, at the least, been temporarily blinded around the turn of the century. Before that, Chromatic Letters and Diplomatic Events ensured that someone fell on a metaphorical stick every few decades. Now, it was Georgia’s turn.
The particular stick here (ironically, for reasons that will become clear) was the island of Taiwan, ceded from Far Cathay to Georgia for…something. None of the West was quite sure what. Nor, for that matter, were they quite sure about the locations of Taiwan, or Far Cathay for that matter. The rumor that the Georgian ambassador sold his daughter to become a concubine of the Chinese ambassador is almost certainly false. We are less certain that the parallel rumor about the Georgian ambassador’s son is false, but we think so.
In any event, the knowledge that there was land to be conquered that was being granted to Georgia, and not to anyone else in the West, managed to distract the various sovereigns from their usual backstabbing for a moment or two. Long enough to plan a campaign. Taiwan would be ceded to (well, anyone, so long as the one was neither Georgian, Chinese, or Western), Georgia would give over the monopolization of the Holy Land, the Timurid lands would be recreated, and perhaps the Crimea would be ceded to Prussia. Byzantium and Egypt were initially designated the recipients of the Levantine territory, as neighbors small enough not to be a threat, but Byzantium was removed after they refused to participate.
Who was the leader of the Western Alliance? Some say the Norwegians were the driving force. It is true that Ynglings are born to deception, and then refine it through training (and stabbing each other in the back). But how could the Norwegians have convinced the Germans or the Bretons to join in their madcap endeavour? Others say the Italians were the driving force. Certainly the final negotiations were handled by Italy. But slowly. Slowly enough for the Italians to have been relaying proposals from a higher master. Some say it was Prussia, weakening Russian allies. No one ever suggests Germany, Egypt, or Brittany, for different reasons. Occasionally someone suggests India, usually when extremely drunk. The Indian suggestion usually meets with the ridicule it deserves.
Whoever the leader was, the troops arrived in reasonable force, drove back the Georgian forces, and occupied large chunks of the Levant. Treacherous Novgorod reneged on prior commitments to stay neutral, and instead waged war both North and South. The Novgorod entry in the war, although initially worrisome, proved a false hope for Georgia; Novgorod quickly fell to internal rebels and could not aid Georgia. But time had marched on, and the Western Allies began to be weary of war. So they offered peace for merely the coastline of the Levant and the Red Sea. And so there was peace.
But the Western Allies forgot, in their haste, about the Taiwanese stick that had started the entire process. And so there are rumours of war.
