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I tried to think about the situation and I heard my inner voice. It said "review your sliders...." in a really spooky voice.
So I moved +1 to innovative and I think that I found a possible solution.
Copy the save to a safe place, reinstall the game and patch it to 3.1, install the mod and copy the save back.
Too much work for this AAR? Worth it?
Does the audience approve?
Yay or nay?

Up to you... I don't mind as long as you have fun with your AAR.
 
@Lawliet: For some reason I get an error too, when I start EU3, since some months. I didn't change anything in the files, but a Vista Update could be the reason. - But when I put in the game disc, it is possible to play the game and the mods.
 
Unfortunately by the time these news reached my ears I have already deleted EU3 and began the reinstall.
Now all that is left is to find a Rising Nations v1.0 mod somewhere. Do you still have it?
 
Convictolitavis said:
I have it not, but your savegame should be still playable with a 1.1 version.

Life saver! I was just about to abandon all hope...

Chapter Seven


Part Three: Back and better then ever!

well, at least it's back, no?

"And so the world started to move again for me. I had forgotten all about the splendour and charm of the capital and the games of power beyond the gates of the high halls, the rebellious subjects of the newly conquered lands and the looming war with the world's superpowers.
All I can say is: I'm just so glad to be back."


- Attributed to one of King's scribes almost killed in a mountain dungeon for looking a lil' bit too much like that wizard from the last part....

It was only after his first years of kingship that the King tried the role of a General. His Excellence was hardly a match for Timur, but all things considered, he was great. Especially considering the "skills" of his ancestors.
This one, for a change, knew how to actually starve the castle instead of waiting for it to just surrender out of boredom. He knew how to march his troops quickly, make them charge as circumstances demanded it (instead of the infamous Hillbilly-batter manouver SuKhRa used), and had some skill in using those "hand cannons" of the Ming. Unfortunately, those were far too bulky, expensive and inefficient for any use, except for the Dwarf Tossing games, maybe.

Sudangpha also used his great skill of insight to reduce the salaries of the military without facing a wide-scale rebellion, using that crazy smelly guy who likes to whip people (the adviser guy, remember?). This allowed us to cover our yearly expenses and produce a small surplus just by taking a massive amount of cash from the citizens when they're all drunk celebrating on January 1st, then give some of it back to them bit by bit.

He also tried to reconcile with the leaders of Bihar, who so vicously attacked us, by marrying off one of his stepbrothers. It was a win-win situation - at least for Assam, that is.
It was his opinion that in order to counter the expansionist tendencies of Ming China a balance of powers was needed, and that the only nation which Assam could rely on to throw it's troops in the Chinese meatgrinder to provide us with valuable time was Bihar.

And Ming was a force that needed to be balanced, or at least forced to think before it destroyed.
Despite the previous King's policies of appeasement, including officially recognizing their territories and puppets, culminating with the dismantling of Shan and the pronouncement of "peace in our time", Ming wasted little time on peace. Tibet, the Khmer and now even Ayyuthaya all fell victims to the whims of the Emperor.
While Sudangpha could hardly deny that he would have done the same if he was the Chinaman, he still wanted to counter their moves before the sword was at his throat, not someone else's.

And so, considering his options carefully, he chose to form a "Triple Entente" between the sovereigns of Champa, Majapahit and himself, buying Bihar's neutrality along the way.
The Chinese threat would be dealt with as follows:
Majapahit's duty was to occupy the island of Borneo, which was recently taken by the Chinese, and distract a their fleet.

p03b1.jpg

the ring is the "sphere of influence" of Majapahit

Champa's obligation was to unite the smaller countries of southeastern Asia and provide the Chinese with a distraction, or at least to serve as a fodder.
Assam's role was to absorb the full force of China's armies and mount a counterattack deep into chinese territory, possibly taking some provinces in the process.

p03b2.jpg


Although it was obvious that it was completely impossible to achieve any single one of these tasks, let alone all of them, the "accidental" publication of chosen parts, including vastly overrated armies and military potentional and the altered names of towns all the way to the 500km mark from their capital scared China sufficiently to halt it's expansion in the direction of the Entente... for now...


_____

note: The stuff up there is obviously a trainload of BS but it sounded rather nice so I put it in. Also it provides a somewhat rational explanation of China not eating me or them yet. Greetings from the reborn AAR on my behalf and see you all later :p
 
Resurrected! Huzzah!:D

Even despite the BS... ;):D
 
A note: We (meaning I) never surrender and are (am) currently attempting to leap into the waters of H3T

Chapter Seven

Part four: The leap


On a quiet night of the holiday Catholics call Christmas, while the soldiers of Ming were sodomizing minors across the continent and France was blobbing in Europe, Sudangpha's sleep was restless. In his dream, three spirits visited him.
First was the spirit of the Assam past. He was the King of Assam at it's very beginning, the guy who's name is very difficult to spell, so we'll just call him Mister Past.
"What up foo?" Past said, his question hanging in the air unanswered for a while
"Grandfather. You showed up. On what occasion?"
"Well, ya see, you're not one of them Catho Licks, so you don't get to see the spirits of Christmas. You get me instead. Now, let me teach you something..."

From him he learned how to maim a deer using only his thumb.
The second spirit was himself, which was pretty annoying as all he was doing was repeating what Sudangpha did.

The spirit of the Future, however, was far more serious. He called himself "Destiny" and showed our young King a vision of what was to occur should he do nothing to stop Ming from blobbifying.
He suddenly found himself on the roof of his palace surrounded by his guards. The city was in flames, and the numberless legions of Chinamen armed with replicas of Katanas were cutting people down everywhere. To his left, the statue of Mister Past was being brought down, to his right he saw a temple wrecked, and in front of him the Chinamen were bringing their flag on the second Palace.
"They're coming!" the captain yelled, the company drawing their swords. A wave of chinese came forth from the door, rushing toward his men.
He woke up screaming and gasping from air, wet as if he was swimming the whole time.

He felt... changed.. it was as if he entered another time, or maybe it's another world. The first thing he noticed was that he had no heir.
He summoned his wife and informed her of the situation. She just stood there, so he encouraged her kindly with the words "Come on, get busy, heirs don't make themselves, you know?"
 
Suggestion for listening while reading: Devils never cry

Chapter Seven

Part five: Rebellion

*King waves hand to his scribe to start scribbling

King's log, May 8th 1484.

It is as if all the years of my reign and my life up to this point were a pipedream, a bubble burst by the cruel hand of fate. It appears that my Kingdom and that of my vassal were brought into this world, which looks suspiciously like that of the near past for a reason. Whatever reason that may be will remain a mistery to me. I must analyze the changes carefully before making any further decisions, keeping my wits about me if I am to avoid descending into insanity, which, knowing my hereditary predispositions, won't be an easy task."


After reviewing his objectives, the King walked to the balcony, letting fresh air fill his lungs, remembering the vision once again. Shivers went through his spine like a knife through butter and beads of cold sweat appeared on his face as he tried to shake the images of the massacre that haunted him still. The messenger that arrived didn't make him feel better, either.

"My King, my King!!!" the messenger ran up to him, falling on his knees from exhaustion
"You may speak."
"My King, we're screwed!" A royal guard gripped his sword in his hand and said "Be careful you worm, this is a King you're speaking to!"
"Very well, my King, we're royally screwed." the messenger said, bowing deeply, causing the King to smile for first time in days. signalling the guard to keep his sword where it is, he asked
"What news do you bring me?"
"A pretender has announced his claim to the throne of Assam. At his side he has two thousand horsemen and just as many spearmen. He calls himself Gobar."
Gobar? Wasn't he a King already? the King thought to himself "Very well. You may leave. Guard! Have the servants summon the Council. Have them assemble in an hour."
"Yessir!" the guard saluted and ran off to do his master's bidding

An hour later....

As the King walked up to the giant building of the Council visions overtook him again. He saw the building lit up in crimson flames, the banner of Assam torn to confetti. He felt weak, helpless, lost. Leaning his hand on the door, he supressed the thoughts and carried on.
Taking his seat as the King, he quickly eyed the audience and spotted an outlander. He asked his slave "Who's that guy? Third row, fourth seat from the left."
"That, my Lord, is some guy called Issac. I heard he published a book about some fancy Republic. Who knows what he's capable of? Perhaps we should arrange a small accide..."
"If you want to keep your head, you'd better show some respect to him. Nobles don't just fall out of the sky right into this room. Property has no right to criticize." Stunned by his master's words, he quickly pulled himself out of the room, bowing deeply on the way

Sudangpha rose up and opened the session "I, King of Assam Sudangpha, hereby open this session of the council. Now, first things first...."

Some time later...

"And that's the situation so far."
"What?" some noble rose
"What do you mean what?"
"Well, you paused briefly and just said and that's the situation so far."
"I did?"
"Yeah" several voices were heard
"Well, then hear me now...."

Some time later...

"And that's the situation so far."
"You just..." a noble stood up "..nevermind. What do you suggest that we do to solve the... situation?"
"Total mobilization of existing military forces and increasing the standing army by 600%. All in favor say I want to keep my head."

The vote was unanimous and all over the country new soldiers crawled out of the woodwork and assembled in the fields. The result was underwhelming, given Assam's low manpower. If this obstacle was to be overcome, more time was needed.
p05bp1.jpg

Here's what's going on in the relevant parts of the world

But if there was anything he lacked (aside from manpower and money), then that was time. Towns and villages surrounding Vanga fell one by one, and soon did Vanga itself. People cried out in despair, and some even thought that Vanga surrendered itself willingly.

p05bp2.jpg

The nobles demand power, get the finger and join the opposition

The first battle with the pretender was in front of the lost city, with the forces of Assam achieving numerical superiority 3:2, led by the King himself. At the King's side was a brand new adviser, an 85 year old drillmaster who commanded army maneuvers in the King's place. All of that was practically useless however, as the thunderous charge of hostile cavalry swept away the flanks of the army and struck the middle, almost ending Sudangpha's existence. It was fortunate for him that, unlike the pretender, Sudangpha didn't pull off a Gamelin and kept a strategic reserve. Victory was his, however much it may have cost him.
After that victory it was a relatively simple matter of cleansing the remains of the pretender's army.

The good news after the repeated stress of battle, repeating visions and nightmares was supposed to be the birth of his son. It wasn't. Suhung Najafi, as he was called, was everything Sudangpha's ancestors were. He was weak. Weak and ambitious. The astrologers saw him as nothing but a socially awkward bookworm, who knew a thing or two about logistics but generally failed that as well. And no, if one fails at failing, he doesn't win.

Falling into a deep depression soon after, Sudangpha left a note saying
"Remember this:
Might controls everything, and without strength,
you cannot defend anything, let alone a Kingdom.
"

and vanished into the night.
_______
Note: Due to sloppy editing, everything but my Empire is as it was in 1399. Advisers are as old as Jesus was, too.
I went +1 cent, so a pretender decided to challenge me. May he rest in pieces.
 
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OK, enough of the grim-dark Sudangpha BS! Now that the UltraHighStat guy is dead, we return to trying to make you lol

Chapter Eight: Back to basics

Part one: Idiocy returns!
Some say it never left...

Since the new King was trained in the arts of Heir to the Throne, he didn't have to bend over backwards mastering the subtleties of the new system, nor did he suffer from nightmares of burning cities. He was, however, haunted by the only memory of his father, which him saying something like this: "Damnit kid, stop humping that cat!". No matter, moving on.

The first thing he did was send beardy men to artists to make portraits of him. Since they started to run out of ideas, they started an art serie, painting the King in every possible place, much like pornstars go around doing.
Some of the classics include: "King on the Beach", "King goes to Dinner", "The King and the Dog" (no filthy thoughts, please!), "King as Thunder God", and, of course, "King twisting the Chinese Emperor's nipples". The last picture is featured today at the ASS (Art Studies for Starters) book, displaying what not to do when your neighbor is a lot bigger then you.

Despite being an utter failure of a human being at so many levels that if he fell from the highest one he'd make a 2D sprite look fat, he managed to marry of a lot of his subordinates to foreign courts, improving Assam's international stainding significantly.
One night, God spoke to him directly. He said "I want you to annex Taunguuuuuu...." and left.
However, since Taungu hated Assam like it killed their proverbial cat using a proverbial sledgehammer, that wasn't going to happen.

And now for something completely different.

lolcod.jpg


In other news, Tibet was ganged upon and it's neighbors partitioned the hell out of it, much like Poland.

_____
Weee, 6000 views!

Next up: Meet the Regents!
 
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I'm feeling enthusiasthic today, and, in the spirit of the holidays, I chose to update again today. Maybe I'll do more tomorrow, who knows.

Chapter Eight

Part two: Meet the regents

cheesy American advert music starts in the background

"Oh, hi! I'm Council), (Regency Council). You may wonder what's with the stupid name, but my parents were drunk when they named me. As for the last name, that's another story, which also involves a lot of booze, an administration officer, and my father asking a bucket to marry him.
Anyways, let me introduce you to my family. This is my wife, Elizabeth Council)." (Regency Council) points finger toward a woman "Say hi, woman."
"Uh.. hi?"
"Good. And these guys here are my sons, Joe Council), Reginald Council) and this is my dog, Bitsy. Say hi folks!"
"Hi."

"Good, now get the hell out of here, I've got work to do."
family picks their stuff up and leaves the room

"You musical clowns too! Get out!"
musicians pick their stuff up and leave

Behind the door...
Elizabeth Council): "Who the hell was he talking to?"
Musician 1: "Was he always like this?"
(Regency Council): "It's for the audience damnit!"
E. Council): "I should've married the mailman."
(Regency: "I heard that!"

Later, back in the Council)'s room, the new crew of advisers assembles to adress the latest issues that arose in the Kingdom of Assam. The crew had a new addition, one guy who's age is lesser then that of the most recent prophet to walk this earth. The other two were walking corpses with two cells in their bodies that were left alive, but they were working their jobs right... for now.
p01ir1.jpg

w00t this council isn't a 3/3/3, yay!

First issue - nobles go nuts again. One of them decided that iron axes are too fancy for our workers and wants to go back to stone axes. The other held a grudge against shovels and advertised wooden sticks. The third thought that it was cool to write on clay tablets. Then they all went nuts.

p02rot1.jpg

Who the hell made them "nobles" anyways?
As usual, the reigning person shows them the finger, and they act all insulted and stuff. Fortunately our advanced stake production capabilities allowed us to take out quite a lot of them. God bless iron.

And for the final issue, which wasn't really an issue but a blessing, the old guy Hongzhi Ting (called Tingly) managed to turn our army into something that actually works like an army. It's true what they say: No bosses like old bosses. Or women. Too bad we can't take advantage of the chance that was provided to us. He says his role model was the Roman army, which he saw in action when they killed a lot of Gauls
Who the hell are these "Romans" and "Gauls" we'll never know, but hey, what works, works.
p02rot2.jpg

That's a solid performance for an old fart like him

_______
More crap later, in the next episode of this increasingly Assam AAR!


Also: Merry Christmas people!
 
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Was there an article about commenting being bad for your health or is the AAR so funny that laughing killed you and you can't comment?

Chapter Eight

Part three: Defense

(R. C.) cycled through his mail
"Viagra ads, viagra ads, african bank manager, african heir, British lottery, viagra ads, casus belli... Ooh, let's check it out."

"You've gained "Alliance" casus belli on the Oirats
- love, game engine
"

Three questions rose from that letter.
1. What's a casus belli?
2. Who's this Game Engine person and
3. Who turned the spam filter off?

Oddly enough, that's the only important thing that happened for the next five years or so, aside from the Heir humping various people, animals and objects furiously. Something told (R.C.) that Suhung wouldn't really make a good ruler.

RC was burning his chestnuts on an open fire one day, when suddenly something happened. Pegu declared war on our vassals! Yay?
p03e1.jpg

Weee waaaar

On our side we have: Gondwana (wtf?), Taungu, and, of course, us!
On the enemy side we have: Pegu, Tibet and Ayyutthaya, or whoever.

Let's get ready to rrrrrumbleeeeeeeeee!
A general is quickly hired and sent to the troops. He sucks.
Our plan is to knock out Tibet first and then take Pegu's juicy unfortified provinces, leeching everything we can from both.

p03b3.jpg

p03b4.jpg

Some images during the course of the war

Unwilling to waste any more time on the goat herders, we let them off easily.
p03b5.jpg



First battles on the south front are in our favour
p03b6.jpg


In other news, our first advisor who was in the same class as Metuselah died. Such a shame. He was replaced by a younger lad specializing in Government technology.

More pics:
p03b7.jpg

p03b8.jpg

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


And the final one:
p03b9.jpg



After this glorious triumph, R.C. did little and was soon inherited by that plump stuttery git Suhung, glory to his noble name.
_______________________
So much for now. Witness our glorious awesomity in the next part of this Assam AAR!
 
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Very enjoyable AAR, I read the whole thing today. Though you do seem to be going in the opposite direction of your original goal to conquer India.
 
First of all, I'd like to say WOOT ZOMG IT'S BLADE! !
Second, yes, I did deviate a bit, but that's due to two reasons: India is Terra Incognita to me, and second, (spoiler for the next update?) now that it isn't, I found out that it's divided to some four major countries and several minors, both of which tend to outclass me economically and with their armies.
Thirdly, I coul just swear that I saw a map of india that included huge parts of South East Asia. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm not.
Fourth and last of all, most of the land I took outside of India was taken in defensive wars, and of those I've mostly chose to vassalize my opponents.
 
Chapter Nine: Assam, as usual

Part one: A hundred year anniversary
Where we talk about how awesome we were for the last 100 years. With a pretty picture!

It's Janury the first, year 1500.
Let's see what we have accomplished in the last hundred years, shall we? What do you mean no!? No, don't go! It will be brief, I promise! Please?

Now, where was I? Ah, yes, the review. Get it? Re-view? Nevermind.

One hundred years ago, the Great King Supimpha, took up his sword for the sake of mankind. He took a whole load of land - a lil' bit of everybody, which his descendants were mostly able to keep, except for when that incompetent bastard Regent got a hold of the throne. Some time later, the mighty SuKhRa ascended and killed a trainload of people, even successfully clashing with the great giant of Ming! His work was continued by Sudangpha, who conquered yet more land and then went nuts and ran away, leaving the day-to-day management to (Regency Council), who's got less then a year of Regenting left.
Don't worry, he'll be gone soon.

Here's a very nice map of what went on around these parts.

p01r2.jpg



Now, the Kingdom of Assam is more powerful then ever, as usually poised to conquer other countries and claim their cool toys as their own. Having recently "discovered" whole India, an entirely new challenge arises before the young Kingdom, and that's taking a big bite out of it's bigger neighbors while looking scary enough not to drag Ming into a war.
Despite significant improvements, Assam's fate is far from certain, and it will take a genius to chase away the Brits when they arrive. Doomed? Yeah, pretty much.
See? It wasn't all THAT bad! Right?
 
Chapter Nine

Part two: Tales of Bugs
Or how the population of Assam went up 500% in one year

Tired of the Regent, Suhung decided to take the Kingdom in his own hands. Here's how it went:
First some testimonies from the stunned witnesses:

"Oh my God! It all happened so fast! I couldn'd do anything!" - some random guy
"Uhm... I'd like to say hi to my Mommy, and my Daddy, and my dog, and my..." - who the hell was that?
"Yeah, I could tell you about what happened, but here's something more important. Wanna buy a brick? But wait, that's not all! If you order now, yo.." - A merchant, by the looks of it
"Meow?" - a pretty kitty, or a nutcase pretending he is one. You decide.

And then, here's what really happened:

"Hey you!" The angry midget pointed his finger
"Who? Me?" Asked (R.C.)
"Yeah you, get off my (beep) throne! Wait, what the (beep) was that!?! Who's censoring me?"
"It's because of the audience!"
"What (beep) audience?! Hey you! Yeah you, trumpet guy, you better walk away or you'll be playing that trumpet on your other airhole!
Now, get off my throne!"

"Fine, fine, no need for pushing."

And so ascended the glorious King Suhung.

He got out on the balcony, and outside he saw fifty thousand people. Wait, what? 50k?
Those people would make rabbits look chaste. From ten thousand to fifty in one year?
Oh God.

"Time to go back in time!" Said Suhung and resigned.

__________
Beta patch seems to have screwed up Pop growth rates. I'll have to see how much damage has been done (although pop doesn't really have any effect on, well, anything, I still dislike this).
 
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[whine]
Yeah, this isn't gonna work anymore.
Me just pumping out update after update after update with almost no feedback whastoever hurts, you know.
I'm killing this until I'm so bored that I'll update again.
Or until I get some feedback.
I strongly suspect that I'll get bored before someone bothers to comment here.


Until then you can have this - however short it may be.
[/whine]


Chapter Nine

Part three: What the...
Where we get all philosophical

"Riiight... lemme see.. single player, multi, options... ah, yes, single. Loading... aaaand here we go"


Somewhere in the Capital...

SWOOOOOOOOOOSH
purple lights danced in the air, and from them came out flying Suhung, breaking his fall on a homeless person.
He got up, cleaning bits of the hobo from his suit and went straight to the palace.
He went to his quarters, finding someone... unexpected inside..
It was him from a year ago.
"If I was to kill him" Suhung thought "would I die too? I should probably stop wasting time and just do it."

He was found later by a cleaning lady, who screamed in terror "What happened here?! Who is that?!"
"He's... uhm.. my brother... and he... killed himself?"
"How could he have cut both of his arms off and stab himself in the back with a fire poker?"
"I don't know" said Suhung, hiding his bloody hands behind his back "he was always an energetic chap. There's a will, there's a way, you know. Now clean this mess."

(Regency Council) dissapeared one year later, and Suhung ascended to the Throne as the King of Assam, Manipur, Bengal and a ton of other useless land in the year 1501, February 18th.
He also became a parent at the young age of twelve. Here we can see him, his advisers and his heir. Note that the ancient guy is still there.
p03w1.jpg


He also;
"Hey!"
He;
"Who's that?!"

Who? Me?
"Yeah you, don't make me come and get you!"
How can you even..!?
"Guards!"

____
Will the narator survive? Will I ever update? Is anyone even reading this!? I guess we'll find out by the next part of this AssamTastic AAR!
 
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I am so I comment...:D

Still liking it, no idea why there are so few comments...

Also, holiday season is a bad time for getting comments too...