Coz1- Well writing funny updates is a lot easier then serious ones!
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An Eparch's Crusade
It seems the court physician has become dreadfully ill. I pray that he recovers. Eparchissa Syragia could give birth any day now. The disease does not seem to be spread by conventional means. It spreads from Ambassador Apokaukos’ mouth. He has been causing great stress to the all of them and it seems. The late night visits, and the shrill sound of his voice would probably drive anybody mad though. The Eparchissa mood sways back and forth between near mad and cold and distant. I hope that I shall not be like her if I ever bear a child. We have known each other since we where small children, I do hope she will make it through this hazardous time, I wouldn’t know what to do without one of my oldest and dearest companions.
Spy Master Nonna of Hagre
Amschir 28th, 783
(February 22nd, 1067)
Yesterday was the most dreadful day of my life. I have become numb, dizzy and today vomit is spattered around my room, not that it matters, it all blends together when the room spins into a sickening green vortex. What was the cause of my illness? Eparchissa Syragia. It was one of those nights again, the ones where Syragia would wake up in the middle of the night and scream that she was ready. This time though, she was correct. The Eparch and several guards helped get her down the flight of stairs towards to physician’s room. Sick or not that would not stop them. What did stop them was the court physician had just succumbed to his illness and was very much, not alive. Lying dead in his sleeping garments, the old wrinkled physician’s corpse would obviously be of no help to the panicking and screaming Eparchissa who managed to choke one of the guards unconscious during this ordeal. With no time to mourn the poor man they went out to seek the second most learned man in the palace. Unfortunately, that person was myself. I was awaken that night with a kick to my door. In an instant my expensive bronze locks where shattered, I didn’t know what to be more shocked at. That my locks weren’t actually bronze and that Arab merchant in Cairo had swindled me or that a hysterical woman was being thrusted into my care. I of course had a few medical books lying around but asking a man at 2:00 at night with no experience in the matter to deliver a baby into this world was too much. I wanted to faint, but I could not. There was no time for me to think about what was happening though. With only the crescent moon to guide me the light of the moon shone so brightly it miraculously illuminated the pages of my medical texts, just enough for me to see how to perform the procedure. Actually going through with this though was a different matter altogether, I have to admit, up to that point, I had never seen a woman…. up close like that before. The book told me I had to tell her to push and breath but all I could do was stutter and make exasperated sounds of confusion. The next stage was the most difficult, I had to… I had to…. Well….. my mind went blank after that. But when I awoke an hour later, I saw the tired but very much alive Syragia cradling the weeping child in her arms. The room was dead silent until the Eparch, who up until then had been extremely quiet spoke. He explained to me that, before I lost consciousness I had pulled out the child from the womb and plopped right onto the Eparchissa’s bosom with the babe in outreached hands. Normally this probably would have been enough for me to have been executed as it seems my head fell neatly into her chest, of course without my knowledge but still, this could have been a grave offence if it had not been for me delivering a beautiful and healthy baby girl. The Eparch then told me that in honour of the guiding light of the crescent moon and of course, myself. The young baby girl was named, Byzantia.
Ambassador Justin Apokaukos
Barmuda 9th, 783
(March 4th, 1067)
Princess Byzantina
