Yea that always works, sleep the pain offSemi-Lobster said:
Just saw a semi-lobster AAR and I couldn't pass up the read. It's been a great read although I don't have CK, I dont need it to enjoy it.
An Eparch's Crusade
- Thread starter Semi-Lobster
- Start date
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Just saw a semi-lobster AAR and I couldn't pass up the read. It's been a great read although I don't have CK, I dont need it to enjoy it.
An Eparch’s Crusade
Ambassador Apokaukos
Today I dispatched Marozia to learn more of this new ambassador, you can never be too sure with these Byzantines, or in Ambassador Apokaukos’ case, Macedonian. I was able to deduce this from his speech and dress. He is obviously no son of Alexander the Great but he seems to have some noble blood in him, enough to boast his way through the lower echelon of the cutthroat world of Byzantine politics. From the first (and only so far) time we have met he has seemed greatly intimidated by my presence, I can only assume this is because he lives in his own little world of great Greek heroes and is intimidated by actual woman who isn’t a subservient baby maker who’s sole purpose between pregnancies is to be captured or do something ‘silly and stupid that passionate woman are prone to do’. Regardless Marozia failed, like many things she does. She could be seen clear as day and by far was not stealthy enough to avoid detection. This resulted in the Ambassador adding about a dozen new locks to his room. It is hilarious watching him from a distance trying to screw in the brass locks only to realise he has been turning the wrong way or the lock was upside-down. Eventually he managed to convince one of the king’s footmen to do it for him, the entire time from inside his little domicile he yelled out orders at the poor man as if he was own personnel slave. I must admit, he is a breath of fresh air in the court; I have not had a dull minute in the past few days. Tomorrow my sources tell me he intends to start some real diplomatic work with the Eparch and Megas Logothetes Israel. Eparchissa Syragia will also be accompanying them as she is still a student in the court and Ambassador Apokaukos is one of the few dignitaries worth mentioning in Nubia. The other is Ambassador Yusuf Khaleel of the Fatamids whom I am trusted to keep under as much surveillance as possible without his knowledge.
Spy Master Nonna of Hagre
Tuba 2nd, 783
(December 28th, 1066)
Last edited:
Mr.G 24 said:Yea that always works, sleep the pain off
Just saw a semi-lobster AAR and I couldn't pass up the read. It's been a great read although I don't have CK, I dont need it to enjoy it.
Well my arm is much better now, I'm glad to see you picked up this AAR based solely on my past work, I'm surprised I have a following at all!
Thanks Mr. G 24! 
Thames - I'm pretty sure he's un affraid of paper cuts but I could be wrong
Murmurandus - Thanks!
Keravnos - I'm using the Bugfix (v5, I would use v6 but I did a whole lot of my own editting for Nubian culture and I've already started the game) so I have a much better/historicaly accurate chance as Nubia
Murmurandus - Thanks!
Keravnos - I'm using the Bugfix (v5, I would use v6 but I did a whole lot of my own editting for Nubian culture and I've already started the game) so I have a much better/historicaly accurate chance as Nubia
An Eparch's Crusade
An Illustration of The Eparch of Nubia. He is seen holding a representation of the church, of which he was presumably the founder, in his hand. On his head he wears the two-horned headdress, which seems to have been an emblem of Nubian royalty. The double-headed eagles on his costume are again evidence of the persistence of Byzantine tradition.
Sometime around nine Ambassador Apokaukos and George sat down to finally discuss politics along with Megas Logothetes Israel, Megas Domestikos Abraham, Ambassador Khaleel and myself. The discussion was lively, especially my husband’s questions directed at the fumbling antics of Ambassador Apokaukos, who vehemently denied that Emperor Constantine would abandon his Armenian vassals while Ambassador Khaleel confirmed the Eparch’s suspicions. Although Khaleel is not the most trust-worthy human being he is able to communicate with his Muslim masters to the north with great ease, and stated that the Princes of Armenia Minor and Chaldea would soon fall to the Seljuks. And to add to the depressing mood, he also informed us that the Emir of Azerbaijan has made war upon the independent Armenian county of Seunik. The only thing Apokaukos could bring to the table was that he had heard that the Norman Duchy of Apulia was at the gates of Bari, one of two remaining Greek outposts in Italy. These indeed seem like dark days. Of course Apokaukos promised he would hire some messengers to go to Constantinople to confirm he had reached his destination and would look to start an embassy but his meek voice was drowned out by a drunken Abraham roared boisterously on if any Turk day lay a hand on the Armenians he would them to pieces, his drunken boasting ended when he collapsed on the floor. Ambassador Khalle was hardly impressed and muttered something in Arabic to one of his Saracen bodyguards. Just before the meeting convened Israel asked Ambassador Khaleel about why he had heard rumours that Fatamids rule was being undermined by religious turmoil. It seems that they belong to a sect of Islam called the Shi’ites. Soon everyone in the room was asking question of Fatamid stability to the chagrin of Ambassador Khaleel. Megas Logothetes Israel then spoke of one of the most rebellious of their vassals being the Emir of Jerusalem and the room erupted. With this shocking news Ambassador Khaleel was intent on damage control. He brought up The Baqt, a trade deal signed between the Fatamids and the Kingdom of Dongola. The Baqt was an ancient and time-honoured trade agreement between ourselves and the Fatamids after in 641 the old Kingdom of Nobatiae raided Egypt and sacked their villages. The rules stipulate that in return for foodstuffs and clothes we trade four hundred slaves to the rulers of Egypt. Originally that was indeed an excellent deal between ourselves and the Fatamids, after all Egypt had rich and plentiful fields full of grain. Now though it seems to be more of a burden, we are capable of feeding and clothing ourselves. Our supply of slaves is also shrinking, more and more of our people are converting to the path of Christ and finding slaves is becoming increasingly difficult, the peasants and clergy demand we cease such an exploitative practice while the merchants and nobles seem less inclined to stop. After a short deliberation George chose to extend the bonds of trade between our two kingdoms for another year but seemed greatly troubled by his decision. George went to bed that night very worried, our fellow Monophysites, the Armenians, who where being crushed and Byzantine power was collapsing. Then George bemoaned about how the Patriarch of Alexandria is still forced to live under the watch of the infidels. Before finally going to sleep he muttered something about how he was sure Eparch Cyriacus I, the liberator of Alexandria in 745 was rolling in his grave.
That night I comforted him, we embraced as lovers do and the next morning he was born anew.
Eparchissa Syragia of Dongola
Tuba 25th, 783
(January 20th, 1067)
Last edited:
That night I comforted him, we embraced as lovers do
I think you should elaborate on this point of the AAR, because it leaves out a lot of important information that would otherwise drive not only the story but your campaign. Clearly, their embracing created renewed energy and greater devotion, making the cause stronger. How can we truly understand - nay, believe - that the Eparch could undertake his great cast with his newly found strength if we are not even aware of how passionately he was inspired? Such gaping plotholes leave much to be considered.
JK Nice update.
I think you should elaborate on this point of the AAR, because it leaves out a lot of important information that would otherwise drive not only the story but your campaign. Clearly, their embracing created renewed energy and greater devotion, making the cause stronger. How can we truly understand - nay, believe - that the Eparch could undertake his great cast with his newly found strength if we are not even aware of how passionately he was inspired? Such gaping plotholes leave much to be considered.
JK Nice update.
Last edited:
Now, now, there are children on this message board Let's not go any further into this!
Let's not go any further into this!
This entire update is dedicated to answering Thames’ question!
-------------------------------------
What a terrible day! A disaster has occurred and I slowly feel my life draining away as I lay in my bed, waiting for the cold and clammy hand of death to throttle the last breath of life from my mortal body. This morning I was bit bitten by a nefarious insect, it’s tiny body concealing a purpose worthy of Lucifer himself! When I was making my now daily rounds to the Royal Library, a rather modest building I was assaulted by this deadly vermin. Now my wound swells with a red one would expect to see from the bowels of hell. I am positive I shall never live to see Macedonia again, I have read such insects so far into Africa carry Malaria, Dysentery, the Plague, Pox, Gangrene, Leprosy, Scurvy, Shingles, Blindness, Baldness, Cancer, Shrinkage and countless other afflictions. The local doctors say it’s nothing to fear but surely they’re own dark and rough hides have grown accustomed to the devil insect’s vicious sting. Oh why of merciful God must I suffer and die while the truly wicked such as Nonna live?
Ambassador Justin Apokaukos
Amschir 14th, 783
(February 9th, 1067)
I could not get a wink of sleep last night with Ambassador Apokaukos’ constant whining. Yesterday a mosquito bit him, even though he went to see a doctor he refused to believe that it was a normal mosquito not capable of hurting anyone. Of course though he has convinced himself that he is dieing and has already requested a coffin and burial plot. At first it was amusing to watch him wail and weep over something completely ridiculous but now it is simply irritating, seeing as it is Ambassador Apokaukos though, I wouldn’t be surprised if everything he does is this annoying.
Spy Master Nonna of Hagre
Amschir 15th, 783
(February 9th, 1067)
-------------------------------------
An Eparch's Crusade
What a terrible day! A disaster has occurred and I slowly feel my life draining away as I lay in my bed, waiting for the cold and clammy hand of death to throttle the last breath of life from my mortal body. This morning I was bit bitten by a nefarious insect, it’s tiny body concealing a purpose worthy of Lucifer himself! When I was making my now daily rounds to the Royal Library, a rather modest building I was assaulted by this deadly vermin. Now my wound swells with a red one would expect to see from the bowels of hell. I am positive I shall never live to see Macedonia again, I have read such insects so far into Africa carry Malaria, Dysentery, the Plague, Pox, Gangrene, Leprosy, Scurvy, Shingles, Blindness, Baldness, Cancer, Shrinkage and countless other afflictions. The local doctors say it’s nothing to fear but surely they’re own dark and rough hides have grown accustomed to the devil insect’s vicious sting. Oh why of merciful God must I suffer and die while the truly wicked such as Nonna live?
Ambassador Justin Apokaukos
Amschir 14th, 783
(February 9th, 1067)
I could not get a wink of sleep last night with Ambassador Apokaukos’ constant whining. Yesterday a mosquito bit him, even though he went to see a doctor he refused to believe that it was a normal mosquito not capable of hurting anyone. Of course though he has convinced himself that he is dieing and has already requested a coffin and burial plot. At first it was amusing to watch him wail and weep over something completely ridiculous but now it is simply irritating, seeing as it is Ambassador Apokaukos though, I wouldn’t be surprised if everything he does is this annoying.
Spy Master Nonna of Hagre
Amschir 15th, 783
(February 9th, 1067)
Last edited:
Henry v. Keiper said:
Given that the female mosquito's lifespan 3 to 100 days we probably won't be seeing this particular mosquito
I'm really liking the style of this AAR. The different viewpoints make for nice interplay. I'm really enjoying the Ambassador, too. Awkward whiny weaklings are always lots of fun. Hopefully he'll toughen up a bit as time passes, but not so much so that he isn't afraid of insects.
Paranoid Tsar said:I'm really liking the style of this AAR. The different viewpoints make for nice interplay. I'm really enjoying the Ambassador, too. Awkward whiny weaklings are always lots of fun. Hopefully he'll toughen up a bit as time passes, but not so much so that he isn't afraid of insects.
Thanks!
And I promise to make sure Ambassador Apokaukos generally stays the same weenie but at least be a bit less awkward and whiney, but knowing it may take a while
Semi-Lobster said:
But maybe this is the Goddess of Mosquitos, and she has the power of immortality and is secretly in love with the ambassador and...
*gets covered in tomatos*
Henry v. Keiper said:
Perhaps that can go into when ever I update my Ethiopian AAR but it doesn't really suit the style of this AAR!
Thanks!Semi-Lobster said:This entire update is dedicated to answering Thames’ question!
...
Excellent update. Whiners are fun.
I can just imagine what will happen if he found a snake or something in his bed…
If I may give you small piece of advise – even if this last episode was okay in that regard – try to break up the text into smaller paragraphs for readability (with a blank line between them).