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About time the French became a dirty word after all the problems they ahve presented. And did I understand correctly that Mainz was finally annexed?
The tea route is well on it's way through Europe. Nice going. Let's hope poor Chadsworth can go without hearing the F-word for a time. It's simply too much for him to have to bear with both that and the scarcity of tea.
The tea route is well on it's way through Europe. Nice going. Let's hope poor Chadsworth can go without hearing the F-word for a time. It's simply too much for him to have to bear with both that and the scarcity of tea.
Thanks for all the compliments, everybody.
And yes, Mainz has been annexed finally. And France is no longer my friend. I can look forward to beating on the French in war after war. That would make me happy. I had a thought to try to get Bohemia vassalized and annexed, but I'm not sure If I'll have enough time. I don't quite know when they get gobbled up by the Austrians.
And yes, Mainz has been annexed finally. And France is no longer my friend. I can look forward to beating on the French in war after war. That would make me happy. I had a thought to try to get Bohemia vassalized and annexed, but I'm not sure If I'll have enough time. I don't quite know when they get gobbled up by the Austrians.
Haven't catched up yet. Don't know when I'll have time. But I like it so far (middle of second page). Very funny, very entertaining and quite original.
Reminds me of an Austrian AAR featuring Harry and Barry trying to contact their Australian employer. I don't remember the title or the author though... Might have to dig in the old pages of EU2 AAR.
My bad, found it in the LibrAARy: "Bruce and Barry get Bushwhacked - an Austrian AAR" by TimN (1419 - 1578 ongoing)
[EDIT]Catched up. I'll follow this one![/EDIT]
A tea loving frog.
.
.
Reminds me of an Austrian AAR featuring Harry and Barry trying to contact their Australian employer. I don't remember the title or the author though... Might have to dig in the old pages of EU2 AAR.
My bad, found it in the LibrAARy: "Bruce and Barry get Bushwhacked - an Austrian AAR" by TimN (1419 - 1578 ongoing)
[EDIT]Catched up. I'll follow this one![/EDIT]
A tea loving frog.
.
.
Last edited:
Chapter 7 : It's coming.
Spring 1505, The Tea Palace, London.
Chadsworth - "As you can see, I used delicate brush strokes around the rim and handle. That light touch gives it an authentic feel I believe."
Jones - "It really is quite a remarkable painting of a tea cup. It's probably the best representation of the 20 paintings in this exhibit."
Chadsworth - "I figured we'd get a lot of local artists to participate in 'ruminations on tea'. I was kind of suprised that we recieved a few pieces from Wurzburg."
Jones - "Well they are becoming more and more civilized each and every day."
Chadsworth - "I've been meaning to ask, how are the colonization efforts coming along in North America?"
Jones - "Placentia has grown into a colonial city, MicMac needs a few more colonist ships before we can expect some tax income."
Chadsworth - "Interesting. I like the idea that in a few generations North America should be a thriving community of Tea lovers. Us oppressed peoples must stick together. And what better way than becoming the majority?"
Jones - "That's one way to consider it. I'm a fan of the increased tax incomes myself, but that's just me."
Chadsworth - "Nothing much else is on the Agenda for a few years is there?"
Jones - "Not really sir. Mostly a continued peaceful expansion of our economic interests. War does us no good until we finally annex Wurzburg."
Chadsworth - "What? I stopped listening after you said 'Not really sir', I got lost in this piece by John Dunham, He used the cows and pigs in this painting to represent loneliness and isolation. The horse represents despair at the lack of tea."
Jones - "And the Bishop juggling the Rabbits?"
Chadsworth - "Hmm, I haven't quite figured that out yet."
January 1508, London
Jones - "There is a young man here to see you by the name of S. Cabot."
Chadsworth - "Send him in."
Cabot - "Sirs, I heard tell that you were the last people who know where my father went."
Chadsworth - "That's true." He beckons Cabot over to the map table. "As you can see here on the map tables there is a lot of white area on these maps over by a place we call 'North America'. Your father is somewhere in those white areas."
Cabot - "That's terrible sirs! How will I ever be able to find him?"
Chadsworth - "Just a thought, but we'd be willing to give you 3 ships and let you sail out into those white areas. I'm sure you'd be able to find him right quick."
Cabot - "Really?"
Chadsworth - "Of course! Just see the Harbor Master, he'll help you out. Get you a crew and everything. Just one thing, tell us about you find out there, ok?"
Cabot - "For all the help you given me, I'd love to help!"
Chadsworth - "That's the spirit, now run along." Cabot leaves looking pleased.
Jones - "That was both genius and cruel, sir."
Chadsworth - "What? Cabot could be out there in the white area. You don't know!"
Jones - "And we could start drinking coffee instead of tea. Let's be realistic."
Chadsworth - "Where's the harm? He gets what he wants, we get what we want, everyone wins."
Jones - "I guess, sir. but I don't have to like it."
Early 1512, London
Jones - "Cabot has been a boon for us sir. He's discovered large parts of the American coast. Such places as Saguenay, Roanoke,Penebscot,Massachusetts, Conneticut..."
Chadsworth - "Did you say Massachusetts? That is so strange. I had a dream last night about a place called Massachusetts. There were these people all gathered on ships I think they were Indians, but they didn't look quite right. And they were tossing tea from these ships into the ocean. I didn't understand it, but I found it greatly disturbing."
Jones - "That is odd sir."
Chadsworth - "I've decided we shall colonize this place called 'Massachusetts' as quickly as possible so we can explore the mysteries of the place."
Jones - "Excellent, sir. And what shall we call the new city that will grow there?"
Chadsworth - "How about, 'Boston'?"
Jones - "I'll send the orders right away sir."
March 1514, London
Jones - "Fantastic news sir! Wurzburg has accepted our proposal. they are now a part of our nation of lea loving misfits!"
Chadsworth - "That is most excellent Jones. You know sometimes I sound a lot like Bill S. Preston Esq."
Jones - "You can not reference the future sir. No one has that power. It's an impossibility. so you can't be doing it!"
Chadsworth - "What are you talking about, Jones? I'm talking about Bill Seymour Preston. The Queen's counsel... Hey wait a minute how do you know that is a future..."
Jones - "That's neither here no there, sir. What's important is that we annexed the Wurzburgians."
Chadsworth - "That's true, I guess... anyways, begin vassalization overtures with the Bohemians. Maybe we can diploannex our way to nanching."
Jones - "I wouldn't count on it sir."
December 1514, London
Jones - "We recieved a response from the Bohemians sir."
Chadsworth - "Let's see 'We are very honored that you think of us that way England, but we aren't ready to go steady yet. Ask again later. Bohemia.'"
Jones - "That's dissapointing."
Chadsworth - "Just keep asking, you never know with Bohemia."
Jones - "Will do sir."
July 1515, London
Jones - "Here's the response from the Bohemians, sir."
Chadsworth - "'We don't appreciate your continued attempts to woo us. If you persist we will have to contact out lawyers and get a cease and desist order. Bohemia.'"
Jones - "Hmm, they seem opposed to the idea sir."
Chadsworth - "Maybe I shouldn't have put all those snide comments in the proposal letter. I didn't figure they'd be smart enough to catch on. No one has yet."
Jones - "Sometimes it can be quite a bother."
Chadsworth - "Indeed Jones, Indeed."
Jones - "We also recieved a note from the Austrians."
Chadsworth - "Let me see that." Jones hadns it over. "Ah, 'France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France, X's and O's Austria."
Chadsworth drops the letter and backs away. He looks frightened.
Jones - "Doctor!" Doctor Dunhill comes running in. "The Austrians have frightened Chadsworth, I think we need to get him some rest pronto."
Dunhill - "I'll keep a good watch on him, Jones. I'll have him back to his version of normal in no time."
Jones - "That's good." Dunhill leads Chadsworth from the room as Chadsworth glances about frantically. "Hmm, this whole episode makes me so angry. I do believe I'm going to annoyed about this for 5 years."
May 1518, London
Jones - "We've started training the realm's first ever Chief Judge here in London, sir. He should be ready to enact reforms in 2 years time."
Chadsworth - "Capital. How are things looking on the Austrian front?"
Jones - "We have a period of time after we are longer allied with Bohemia and before our Casus Belli runs out declare war, however, a DoW wouldn't be prudent."
Chadsworth - "But I want to stomp the Austrians into the ground. Our relations are as bad as they can possible be, and they aren't getting better anytime soon."
Jones - "Be that as it may, Austria has Allies. 3 of them to be exact. Hessen with 35,000 troops just north of Mainz and Pfalz, Saxony with 43,000 troops north of Wurzburg. and who can forget the other ally, The teutonic Order. The 15 province behemoth Teutonic order. I think Caution is the word of the day."
Chadsworth - "Last time I listened to you we ended up waiting 16 years to annex Mainz..."
Jones - "Unlike that time, I am right this time."
Chadsworth - "That's some wierd logic. But you've been there for me over the last few years, and I'll trust your judgement, you just better be right."
Jones - "I will be."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In september of 1520 I accepted the proposal of Wurtemburg to join their Alliance with Spain. Wurtemburg would be a well placed ally in any future wars against Austria.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
September 3rd 1522, London
Chadsworth - "It's good to be back from my summer vacation. What did I miss while I was gone?"
Jones - "In July Our traders got better over night. I was so pleased with the development that I decided to call their new level of effieciency, 5."
Chadsworth - "Good, Good."
Jones - "We recieved a note from the Wurtemburgians. It says 'Considering how awesome you guys are, and how much the austrians suck, we would like to be your Vassals. We think it will be a super sweet arrangement. Wurtemburg.'"
Chadsworth - "You have been busy."
Jones - "One other minor thing happened today...The protestant reformation."
Chadsworth - "Reformation? What's that?"
Jones - "Well there was bunch of talk, and then this guy put some paper on a door, it was really this whole big thing. Unfortunately several of our provinces have decided they want to be protestant, too. Including London."
Chadsworth - "Hmm, I'll have to think on this. they still worship Jesus right?"
Jones - "Yeah, They're mostly against austentatious hats."
Chadsworth - "Fair enough."
October 1524, London
Jones - "Wurtemburg converted to protestantism. Our alliances and vassalization with them our broken."
Chadsworth - "Son of a Beeswax producer. Invite them back into the Alliance. And while you are at it, invite our remaining vassal strassbourg in. They could come in handy."
Jones - "Will do sir."
January 1526, London
Jones - "Saxony has changed there religion to protestant, and left the austrian alliance!"
Chadsworth - "Excellent, Invite them in to our alliance. I'm sensing the time is near."
Jones - "I know sir. I can almost feel a heightened tension in the air."
Chadsworth - "That's probably the humidfier I put in."
Jones - "Humidifier?"
Chadsworth - "You know that urn filled with hot rocks, that I have a page dribble water over."
Jones - "Oh. No that you mention it, I guess that isn' tension. That's sweat. Aren't you going to ruin the maps like this?"
Chadsworth - "I had them moved for now. I'm not stupid, Jones."
Jones - "I didn't say you were sir."
March 1526, London
Jones - "Hannover has declared independence from the Teutonic order. They have called for allies and everyone has dishonored their call."
Chadsworth - "That's what we've been waiting for. Send the messengers to our allies, Jones. We are marching on Vienna."
Spring 1505, The Tea Palace, London.
Chadsworth - "As you can see, I used delicate brush strokes around the rim and handle. That light touch gives it an authentic feel I believe."
Jones - "It really is quite a remarkable painting of a tea cup. It's probably the best representation of the 20 paintings in this exhibit."
Chadsworth - "I figured we'd get a lot of local artists to participate in 'ruminations on tea'. I was kind of suprised that we recieved a few pieces from Wurzburg."
Jones - "Well they are becoming more and more civilized each and every day."
Chadsworth - "I've been meaning to ask, how are the colonization efforts coming along in North America?"
Jones - "Placentia has grown into a colonial city, MicMac needs a few more colonist ships before we can expect some tax income."
Chadsworth - "Interesting. I like the idea that in a few generations North America should be a thriving community of Tea lovers. Us oppressed peoples must stick together. And what better way than becoming the majority?"
Jones - "That's one way to consider it. I'm a fan of the increased tax incomes myself, but that's just me."
Chadsworth - "Nothing much else is on the Agenda for a few years is there?"
Jones - "Not really sir. Mostly a continued peaceful expansion of our economic interests. War does us no good until we finally annex Wurzburg."
Chadsworth - "What? I stopped listening after you said 'Not really sir', I got lost in this piece by John Dunham, He used the cows and pigs in this painting to represent loneliness and isolation. The horse represents despair at the lack of tea."
Jones - "And the Bishop juggling the Rabbits?"
Chadsworth - "Hmm, I haven't quite figured that out yet."
January 1508, London
Jones - "There is a young man here to see you by the name of S. Cabot."
Chadsworth - "Send him in."
Cabot - "Sirs, I heard tell that you were the last people who know where my father went."
Chadsworth - "That's true." He beckons Cabot over to the map table. "As you can see here on the map tables there is a lot of white area on these maps over by a place we call 'North America'. Your father is somewhere in those white areas."
Cabot - "That's terrible sirs! How will I ever be able to find him?"
Chadsworth - "Just a thought, but we'd be willing to give you 3 ships and let you sail out into those white areas. I'm sure you'd be able to find him right quick."
Cabot - "Really?"
Chadsworth - "Of course! Just see the Harbor Master, he'll help you out. Get you a crew and everything. Just one thing, tell us about you find out there, ok?"
Cabot - "For all the help you given me, I'd love to help!"
Chadsworth - "That's the spirit, now run along." Cabot leaves looking pleased.
Jones - "That was both genius and cruel, sir."
Chadsworth - "What? Cabot could be out there in the white area. You don't know!"
Jones - "And we could start drinking coffee instead of tea. Let's be realistic."
Chadsworth - "Where's the harm? He gets what he wants, we get what we want, everyone wins."
Jones - "I guess, sir. but I don't have to like it."
Early 1512, London
Jones - "Cabot has been a boon for us sir. He's discovered large parts of the American coast. Such places as Saguenay, Roanoke,Penebscot,Massachusetts, Conneticut..."
Chadsworth - "Did you say Massachusetts? That is so strange. I had a dream last night about a place called Massachusetts. There were these people all gathered on ships I think they were Indians, but they didn't look quite right. And they were tossing tea from these ships into the ocean. I didn't understand it, but I found it greatly disturbing."
Jones - "That is odd sir."
Chadsworth - "I've decided we shall colonize this place called 'Massachusetts' as quickly as possible so we can explore the mysteries of the place."
Jones - "Excellent, sir. And what shall we call the new city that will grow there?"
Chadsworth - "How about, 'Boston'?"
Jones - "I'll send the orders right away sir."
March 1514, London
Jones - "Fantastic news sir! Wurzburg has accepted our proposal. they are now a part of our nation of lea loving misfits!"
Chadsworth - "That is most excellent Jones. You know sometimes I sound a lot like Bill S. Preston Esq."
Jones - "You can not reference the future sir. No one has that power. It's an impossibility. so you can't be doing it!"
Chadsworth - "What are you talking about, Jones? I'm talking about Bill Seymour Preston. The Queen's counsel... Hey wait a minute how do you know that is a future..."
Jones - "That's neither here no there, sir. What's important is that we annexed the Wurzburgians."
Chadsworth - "That's true, I guess... anyways, begin vassalization overtures with the Bohemians. Maybe we can diploannex our way to nanching."
Jones - "I wouldn't count on it sir."
December 1514, London
Jones - "We recieved a response from the Bohemians sir."
Chadsworth - "Let's see 'We are very honored that you think of us that way England, but we aren't ready to go steady yet. Ask again later. Bohemia.'"
Jones - "That's dissapointing."
Chadsworth - "Just keep asking, you never know with Bohemia."
Jones - "Will do sir."
July 1515, London
Jones - "Here's the response from the Bohemians, sir."
Chadsworth - "'We don't appreciate your continued attempts to woo us. If you persist we will have to contact out lawyers and get a cease and desist order. Bohemia.'"
Jones - "Hmm, they seem opposed to the idea sir."
Chadsworth - "Maybe I shouldn't have put all those snide comments in the proposal letter. I didn't figure they'd be smart enough to catch on. No one has yet."
Jones - "Sometimes it can be quite a bother."
Chadsworth - "Indeed Jones, Indeed."
Jones - "We also recieved a note from the Austrians."
Chadsworth - "Let me see that." Jones hadns it over. "Ah, 'France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France France, X's and O's Austria."
Chadsworth drops the letter and backs away. He looks frightened.
Jones - "Doctor!" Doctor Dunhill comes running in. "The Austrians have frightened Chadsworth, I think we need to get him some rest pronto."
Dunhill - "I'll keep a good watch on him, Jones. I'll have him back to his version of normal in no time."
Jones - "That's good." Dunhill leads Chadsworth from the room as Chadsworth glances about frantically. "Hmm, this whole episode makes me so angry. I do believe I'm going to annoyed about this for 5 years."
May 1518, London
Jones - "We've started training the realm's first ever Chief Judge here in London, sir. He should be ready to enact reforms in 2 years time."
Chadsworth - "Capital. How are things looking on the Austrian front?"
Jones - "We have a period of time after we are longer allied with Bohemia and before our Casus Belli runs out declare war, however, a DoW wouldn't be prudent."
Chadsworth - "But I want to stomp the Austrians into the ground. Our relations are as bad as they can possible be, and they aren't getting better anytime soon."
Jones - "Be that as it may, Austria has Allies. 3 of them to be exact. Hessen with 35,000 troops just north of Mainz and Pfalz, Saxony with 43,000 troops north of Wurzburg. and who can forget the other ally, The teutonic Order. The 15 province behemoth Teutonic order. I think Caution is the word of the day."
Chadsworth - "Last time I listened to you we ended up waiting 16 years to annex Mainz..."
Jones - "Unlike that time, I am right this time."
Chadsworth - "That's some wierd logic. But you've been there for me over the last few years, and I'll trust your judgement, you just better be right."
Jones - "I will be."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In september of 1520 I accepted the proposal of Wurtemburg to join their Alliance with Spain. Wurtemburg would be a well placed ally in any future wars against Austria.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
September 3rd 1522, London
Chadsworth - "It's good to be back from my summer vacation. What did I miss while I was gone?"
Jones - "In July Our traders got better over night. I was so pleased with the development that I decided to call their new level of effieciency, 5."
Chadsworth - "Good, Good."
Jones - "We recieved a note from the Wurtemburgians. It says 'Considering how awesome you guys are, and how much the austrians suck, we would like to be your Vassals. We think it will be a super sweet arrangement. Wurtemburg.'"
Chadsworth - "You have been busy."
Jones - "One other minor thing happened today...The protestant reformation."
Chadsworth - "Reformation? What's that?"
Jones - "Well there was bunch of talk, and then this guy put some paper on a door, it was really this whole big thing. Unfortunately several of our provinces have decided they want to be protestant, too. Including London."
Chadsworth - "Hmm, I'll have to think on this. they still worship Jesus right?"
Jones - "Yeah, They're mostly against austentatious hats."
Chadsworth - "Fair enough."
October 1524, London
Jones - "Wurtemburg converted to protestantism. Our alliances and vassalization with them our broken."
Chadsworth - "Son of a Beeswax producer. Invite them back into the Alliance. And while you are at it, invite our remaining vassal strassbourg in. They could come in handy."
Jones - "Will do sir."
January 1526, London
Jones - "Saxony has changed there religion to protestant, and left the austrian alliance!"
Chadsworth - "Excellent, Invite them in to our alliance. I'm sensing the time is near."
Jones - "I know sir. I can almost feel a heightened tension in the air."
Chadsworth - "That's probably the humidfier I put in."
Jones - "Humidifier?"
Chadsworth - "You know that urn filled with hot rocks, that I have a page dribble water over."
Jones - "Oh. No that you mention it, I guess that isn' tension. That's sweat. Aren't you going to ruin the maps like this?"
Chadsworth - "I had them moved for now. I'm not stupid, Jones."
Jones - "I didn't say you were sir."
March 1526, London
Jones - "Hannover has declared independence from the Teutonic order. They have called for allies and everyone has dishonored their call."
Chadsworth - "That's what we've been waiting for. Send the messengers to our allies, Jones. We are marching on Vienna."
But what religious route will England take. Is Catholicism, Protestantism, or Calvinism the true theology of tea-drinkers?
Very funny as usual. This one made me laught particularly, don't know why:
The diplo-annexion road is certainly interesting, but you'll have to use the unlimited time patch!
I guess you'd better dope your armies with concentated hopes for tea and send them in the melee...
Let's have a couple of centuries of theological debate on this: "Did Jesus turn wine into tea?". A couple of religious wars would be fun too, wouldn't they?
The diplo-annexion road is certainly interesting, but you'll have to use the unlimited time patch!
I guess you'd better dope your armies with concentated hopes for tea and send them in the melee...Let's have a couple of centuries of theological debate on this: "Did Jesus turn wine into tea?". A couple of religious wars would be fun too, wouldn't they?
No, Buddhism is the real tea relegion, but I guess protestant will do as well.
Great update.
Yes, only the finest tea drinkers are Protestant. That's the way to go.
But let's hope we don't lose any tea during the battle with the Big White Blob. Those pesky Austrians are infamous for nipping tea when you aren't looking. Nasty buggers (sorry, ArchDuke.)
But let's hope we don't lose any tea during the battle with the Big White Blob. Those pesky Austrians are infamous for nipping tea when you aren't looking. Nasty buggers (sorry, ArchDuke.
)
See, Stnylan the fine English protestant agrees with me. As do several other fine protestant tea-drinking gentlemen.
stnylan said:Well I'm actually Catholic, but even so
SHHH!!! I knew that but I was ignoring it to make my point. I am not a protestant either.