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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Duke of Wellington

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Talkingdonkey said:
Chadsworth - "Why do all the bad things happen when we are saving for a Fine Arts academy?"

Jones - "Actually sir they don't all happen when we are saving for things. It only seems that way because we are paying close attention to negative changes to our treasury. Purely a Psychological reaction."
So true, another great update :)
 

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Bah, I can't stand tea...it's the Devil's drink. :mad:

But I do love this AAR though. :cool:
 

unmerged(24115)

Second Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2003
141
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Chapter 5 : You make a deal with the devil, he sells you oranges.

January 1469, London

Chadsworth sits brooding on his kings throne. He overlooks a table of maps with many different routes mapped between Calais and the nation of Bengal. Jones sits beside the table. He's perusing a dog-earred issue of 'Tea Fanciers Monthly.'

Chadsworth - "I don't like it Jones. Remaining allies with the French is a grave mistake. They can't be trusted."

Jones - "Be that the truth, sir, it doesn't change the fact that we must remain allies with the French to better protect Mainz. In 1476 we can begin talk of Annexation with the Mainzenites. Once that is completed then we can drop the French.”

Chadsworth - “How could we ever trust anyone who didn’t love tea? What were we thinking?”

Jones - “We were probably thinking with our Tea habit, sir. My mother told me never to go shopping when you were hungry. Likewise, we never should have went Ally hunting when we were Jonesing.”

Chadsworth - “Heh, your name is Jones. Heh.”

Jones - “Sir.

Chadsworth - “Sorry, Jones, I know you hate that. How is the new army coming along?”

Jones - “Our offensive improvements we instituted last week are working wonders. Our new moto is ‘Defense is for the French.’ It really has the boys fired up.”

Chadsworth - “Excellent. Have we been able to reach an accord with the Bengalis?”

Jones - “We’re nearing an accord sir. We believe that we maybe able to acquire enough tea so that for the next few years tea will be really hard to come by. But that will definetly be an improvement.”

Chadsworth - “Hmm, that makes me feel a little better. But you know what would make me feel even better?”

Jones - “Unfortunately, I believe I do sir. ” *sigh*

Chadsworth - “Page!!! Bring in Josie!”

A page runs off and returns with a small girl following him.

Chadsworth - “Can you do the song for me again, Josie?”

Josie - “Sure, Mister Chadswurth.”

A look of almost maniacal glee comes over Chadsworth’s face.

Josie starts singing. “I’m a widdle tea pot. Short and stout...”

Shaking his head, Jones leaves the room.

July 1470, London

Jones- “Excellent news sir, we reached an accord with the Bengali, and acquired their maps in the process. We know know that Nanching. Is in China. We have our ultimate destination.”

Chadsworth - “This is the best news we’ve had in many years. The tea route will one day be the envy of all nations. Good work, Jones.”

Jones - “Working with a true visionary is all the complement I need sir.”

Chadsworth - “So what else is going on anyways?”

Jones - “Well sir, Portugal and Castille have formed alliance, and so have Scotland, Burgundy Saxony and Aragon. I also believe that we should start trying to send merchants to China to get a share of the untold Tea riches that must abound there.”

Chadsworth - “Aragon? They’re still kicking around? Why hasn’t Castille gobbled them up already?”

Jones - “That comes later, sir.”

Chadsworth - “Ha! I caught you! You can tell the future!”

Jones - “Merely conjecture, sir. It’s bound to happen sooner or later.”

Chadsworth - “Okay, but if Castille does do that, I am going to be on you like a hot knife on butter.”

Jones - “I’m not sure how to respond to that, sir. Other than to say, that makes even less sense than usual.”

Chadsworth - “We should start saving for that refinery we’re going to build when we get that explosive burst of trade knowledge in 5 or 6 years.”

Jones - “About that sir...”

Chadsworth - “Uh-oh, it’s never good when you say, ‘About that, sir.’”

Jones - “Well, Ahem...anyways... Remember when you told me to put all our research into trade? Well, I did just that.”

Chadsworth - “Ok, so then what’s the problem?”

Jones - “If we wanted to build a refinery we needed to invest in Infrastructure sir.”

Chadsworth - “Bloody Hell!”

Jones - “Sir! Think of the children!”

Chadsworth - “I am Jones! With those refineries we could have made Jesus juice, you know, for the kids.”

Jones - “Sir, I don’t think calling wine, ‘Jesus Juice’ and then giving it out to children just so you can curse in polite company is a good excuse.”

Chadsworth - “Bugger it all then!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

In March of 1471 I hired a drill instructor. I like drill instructors. My main army comander the last 20 years or so, Warrick died in August. Now, I ain’t got much in the leader department.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

August, 1472, London

Jones - “I hate to bother you sir, but well we have a bit of a problem. France has declared war on Burgundy, and like the stupid stupid sheep dogs they are, Mainz joined in.”

Chadsworth - “Gah, stupid vassal. Honor the commitment and go to war.”

Jones - “We’ll also be at war with the Scots, Aragon and Saxony, sir.”

Chadsworth - “We’re going to have to fight in this one aren’t we?”

Jones - “In all likelihood, sir.”

Early 1473, London

Jones - “The burgundians have marched on Luxemburg and Artois sir.”

Chadsworth -”What? They left the lowlands undefended?”

Jones - “It appears so sir, we could probably land an army in Flanders and march on Holland if we like.”

Chadsworth - “Why would we do that? why don’t we just march into Flanders and take that place.”

Jones looks down at the maps, glances up at Chadsworth and then looks back at the maps.

Jones looking chagrinned says “Well, if you want to be inelegant about you could do that...”

Chadsworth - “Let’s do that then.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

France decided to beat on the burgundians in my territories for some reason. I just seiged Flanders.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Mid 1474, London

Jones - “Flanders has fallen sir. And the French have scattered the remnants of the burgundian armies.”

Chadsworth - “Well, that went well. I assume we’re getting beat on in some other fashion elsewhere?”

Jones - “Actually not, sir. The scots with their 40000 man army in Lothian have chosen to do nothing, even though we have the local 404 granny brigade guarding the homeland.”

Chadsworth - “Wait, I was drunk and kidding when I suggested the Granny brigade. You are kidding aren’t you?”

Jones - “Not exactly sir, I carry out all orders, and suprisingly this one has went quite well. Grannies are apparently quite fond of tea and more than willing to defend the homeland in times of crisis.”

Chadsworth - “Do they actually ride the horses? And fight?!”

Jones - “Yes, sir. In fact I got a report in from Colonel Emma Fitz, the leader of the Granny brigade, earlier today. To paraphrase she said ‘All these Grannies care about is fornicating and fighting, and we ain’t much use for fornicating, anymore.’ The actual language she used was a little bit spicier than that sir.”

Chadsworth - “Could I perhaps be so brilliant that even my stupid ideas are in fact brilliant?”

Jones - “I wouldn’t phrase it like that sir, but I believe you could.”

January, 1475, London

Jones - “We just received a note from the Burgundians, sir.”

Chadsworth - “Let’s see, ‘Look, when it comes down to it we all just hate the French. Can’t you and us get along and hate the French in peace? We’ll even give you Flanders, to help in hating the French. We’re very very sorry, Burgundy.’”

Jones - “Well, that was certainly unexpected.”

Chadsworth - “Now we can drop out of this war and let the French do the work. No one is going to bother with Mainz.”

Jones - “Capital, sir.”

May 1476, London

The war rages on, well for everyone else it does.

Jones - “Umm, sir. The Castillians have declared war on the French. The portuguese have joined in...and so has Mainz.”

Chadsworth - “Didn’t we tell the Mainzenhoppers that they don’t have to go to war on Frances side?”

Jones - “They aren’t taking our calls. Not because they hate us, but because we stole their messenger service when we vassalized them.”

Chadsworth - “In retrospect, that wasn’t a very good idea. Very well, declare war, but I am not fighting anything! In fact, the first reasonable offer, take it.”

Jones - “I’ll be dilligent sir.”

Spring 1478, London

Jones - “The Polish, brandenburg and some minor german states have declared war on France. And the Mainzenlemmings have joined in.”

Chadsworth - “Declare war...ugh.”

Jones - “On the plus side, we are no longer at war with por/castille but alas the French/Mainz still are.”

Chadsworth - *sigh*

April 1480, London

Jones - “The Strassbourg along with...”

Chadsworth waves his hand in a dismissive manner

Jones - “I’ll declare war right away sir.”


July 1480, London

Jones - “The Aragonians have declared war on the French sir, and brought their new allies Castille and Portugal in to war with them.”

Chadsworth - “We had a truce!”

Jones - “They apparently really really hate the French sir. Needless to say the Mainzenwehaveadeathwishites have joined in.”

Chadsworth - “That is it! We are marching on Lisbon! It is high time someone pays for this. And why not those Jackasses who stole Meath?”

Jones - “There’s that warrior spirit sir.”

August 1481, London

Jones - “Mainz has forced annexed Strassbourg, sir.”

Chadsworth - *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang*

Jones - “Banging your head against the wall won’t help sir.”

Chadsworth - *bang* *bang* *bang* *Bang*

Jones - “We can just let them revolt away as soon as we get around to annexing Mainz sir. It really won’t be that bad.”

Chadsworth looks a little dazed and is rubbing his forehead.

April, 1482, London

Jones - “Fantastic news sire!”

Chadsworth - “That’s Sir, Jones. I can’t being having ideas above my station. Besides, I’m not inbred enough.” *chuckle*

Jones - “Uh, we sacked Lisbon stole their maps and got them to give us 70 ductas for peace!”

Chadsworth - “Show them to me!”

Jones - “It’s there sir.”

Chadsworth - “The fabled Sea Route to tea. Wow, it’s marvelous. We should begin preparing to establish colonies along the sea route.”

Jones - “Excellent, sir. Oh, by the way we Put in that new Star Chamber, and got some Justices of the peace. Everyone seems to think the whole concept is pretty keen.”

Chadsworth - “Well, I am the mind of the people Jones.”

Mid 1483, London

Jones - “Orleans has declared independence and War on the French.”

Chadsworth holds up his hand “Say no more Jones, I already joined in. “

Jones - “Someone was up early today!”

Chadsworth - “I was after a nip of tea and a scone. I only had enough for barely a cup, but it was more the sweet because of it.”
Jones - “Ah, I understand sir.”

Late 1484, London

Jones - “Genoa and a conglomeration of italian states have declared war on the French sir. Mainz did only what it knows how to do, everything the French ask them to.”

Chadsworth looks gloomy and only makes the barest of nods.

Jones - “I’ll get on it, sir.”

Early 1485, London

Chadsworth sits the throne looking depressed. The wars that Mainz and France are in are numerous and until they end there will be no annexation. And in the front and center of his mind is the fact that war with The Austrian alliance looms on the horizon. A war not needed, and potentially deadly for England’s small ally Mainz. As if in supplication, he looks to the sky. Will there be no end?
 

unmerged(24115)

Second Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2003
141
0
Picture Time!

Here we are in Europe.


And in the middle east


Asia


Africa, south


research


economy


sliders (Jerry O'Connell not included)


Mainz who suck
 

stnylan

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France certainly is hated. Still got to work your way through a bunch of irritating minors though. Any thoughts on how you are going to negotiate the Black Sea and Caspian Sea?
 

Ciçatrix

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Great update, and I feel your irritation at Mainz, it is so typical.
 

J. Passepartout

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Mainz is obviously evil and you should break your alliance and attack them. Their plan is to keep you from annexing them so that you can't have your tea route, but their plan shall not work.
 

coz1

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You know, with those Grannies in the army, I bet pension day's the worst..."they go mad. As soon as they get their hands on their money they blow it all on milk, bread, tea, tin of meat for the cat." (see Monty Python's Hell's Grannies) :rofl:

And that Mainz is just Pfalzstupid! You'll never be able to peacefully annex them if France stays at war. I think it's time to start looking for a way out of that alliance. Spain and France are great if you don't want to worry about renewing an alliance because they are always in some war somewhere, but if it is touch and go, then it just gets annoying.
 

SirCliveWolfe

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Ah... a quest for tea, so much better than those Castilian's thirst for gold :D

Must say that this is all very impresive...

...but you should have known that to trust the French is pure folley...

Keep it up my good man.
 

unmerged(24115)

Second Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2003
141
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I plan on hitting the armenian stretch when negotiating the Black sea area. Going around the caspian is more complicated and involves a potential of more wars against the Russians later in the game. I have to limit who my major enemies are going to be. Already I know that France is going to be warring with me eventually, and I assume I'll have problems with Austria as well. I'm hoping I won't have to butt heads with the Ottomans, and I probably won't at least not for a long time. I'll be cutting right across most of modern day Iran, and into northern India to pick up those tea provinces on the way to northern Vietnam and nanching. I hope to establish an east African colony and maybe a colony on Mahe before establishing a colony in Pondicherry. That combined with my colony in Table should be all the colonies I need in preparation for war against Bengal before the land route gets there. That's a long way off yet though. I could be troublesome getting enough troops in the area of Bengal to fight an effective war. At least prior to getting the land route there. I imagine It will be quite a few years before this is an issue though. I need to bump my Naval tech considerably before I can try to pull that part of the plan off.
 

unmerged(24115)

Second Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2003
141
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Chapter 6: At this rate, We'll hit nanching in 2710.

August 23rd 1485, London

Jones - "Sir, Sir! The war of the Roses is finally over. Richard the third is dead, and Henry the seventh is our new leader!"

Chadsworth - "Why should I care? These monarchs we have are useless, the entire lot of them."

Jones - "Well, that's true Henry the seventh isn't much, but apparently the people like him quite a bit better so they'll pay us more money in taxes and be less likely to revolt. So there's that."

Chadsworth - "That's not all bad then. By the way, where have you been? I haven't seen you in months."

Jones - "I told you sir, I was going to check on conditions in Pfalz."

Chadsworth - "Pfalz? You've been there 5 times in the last 4 years! What is so pressing that you keep going back?"

Jones - "Umm, well when I went out there originally I met a very lovely lady by the name of Helga..."

Chadsworth - "You cad! Way to go Jones!"

Jones - "It's not like that at all sir. We just happen to share a lot of the same interests, Tea, bird watching, historical romance novels...you know, stuff."

Chadsworth - "So why isn't she Mrs. Jones yet?"

Jones - "Well sir, her parents don't like me. They are Pfalz nationalists of the worst sort, and she won't go against her father's wishes."

Chadsworth - "There are still Pfalz nationalists? I just imagined everyone in that former country was to Pfalzstupid to form a resistance."

Jones - "I never said they were good at sir."

Chadsworth - "Fair enough. So what else happened while you were away?"

Jones - "Didn't my assistant keep you informed?"

Chadsworth - "I don't trust him."

Jones - "Just because his name is Vladimir doesn't make him a bad guy. You're enforcing stereotypes."

Chadsworth - "I'm not going to trust the nations business with someone whom I can't trust!"

Jones - *sigh* "In that case, we finalized our sucessful colonization of table. We are now colonialists!"

Chadsworth - "That's good. Now that you're back you can help me draw up plans for war against the Austrian alliance."

Jones - "I've missed this, just you and me, talking war, and tea."

Chadsworth - "I missed you too Jones."

September 13 1485, London

Jones - "Helvetia has declared war on France, Mainz has joined in. Also Helvetia brought the Austrian alliance. It appears to be 'On' sir."

Chadsworth - "We knew this day was coming eventually. Pull our troops from Pfalz into Mainz, and as soon as we have a clear opportunity, march on Bern. Also send Norfolk into Zeeland to begin the siege and bring down our fleet from lancashire to begin the blockade. Let's knock the Austrians out."

Jones - "You've been getting a regular supply haven't you?"

Chadsworth - "Well, I am always way more coherent when I've had my fill of that life giving elixir."

Jones - "I believe that once we accomplish our goals, England will become the mightiest nation on earth. Tea seems to perk everybody up. And a properly perked nation can't be stopped."

Chadsworth - "Exactly Jones, we do this for the future of England, nay even the future of mankind. We must be prepared for that day when space Aliens come down and try to conquer us all."

Jones - "Space Aliens? You seriousy believe that we are going to get conquered by space aliens?"

Chadsworth - "I think of it like this Jones, If I was a space alien, what woild I do? I even have a a little acronym for it, IIWASAWWID. And if I was a space alien the first thing I'd do is conquer earth, so preparedness is the best defense to those Space aliens. First things first, however, tea."

Jones - "Well then..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Austrians spent the early part of this war gathering troops in one giant hammer in Brabant. And the rest of the coalition went after strassbourg which you may remember is now part of Mainz.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 20 1487, London

Jones - "We've had a whole slate of messages in today, one from Norfolk, one from Austria, one from Bern and one from Helvetia."

Chadsworth - "Let's see, our army in Bern says that they have defeated a freshly recruited army there and have begun seiging Bern. And Norfolk says that Zeeland has finally fallen!"

Jones - "That excellent news."

Chadsworth - "Well, The Austrian note reads, 'You know, hanging out in the mountains can be fun and quite enjoyable this time of year. We would like you to come out sometime. We are big fans of all your work and think you guys are super keen, Love Austria. P.S. About this whole war thing, how about we give you 154 ducats and call this whole thing a wash?'"

Chadsworth - "Hmm, the helvetian note says. 'Oh come on! You don't even like France! We hate them not you. We love you. In fact we love you to the tune of 174 ducats. We'll try harder not to suck next time, Helvetia.'"

Jones - "Hmm, you know if we accept the Austrian truce first, then we can take the Helvetian one too."

Chadsworth - "Brilliant! This totally rules! This is like the best day since January 1st, 1419!"

Jones - "Hmm, come to think of it, we haven't aged a day since then...and that's the day we first had tea...I wonder if there is a connection?"

Chadsworth doesn't notice the question because he's to busy capering around the kings throne. Which would be okay, if he had any idea of how to caper.

March 1491, London

Chadsworth - "I won't talk to you Vladimir."

Vladimir - "Da, I understand. However, I have a job to do. And I will do it, this is a very big month for Mister Jones. I must help."

Chadsworth - "Ok...I'll do it, for Jones. But I still don't like you."

Vladimir - "I understand. We have just cumpleted our research into trade. We can begin preparations to put in a refinery in Kent in May. We just have to mint some coin."

Chadsworth - "Hmm, why Kent again? I forgot."

Vladimir - "We can't put in France, gascogne because that is not very safe. Table is also not wise because protecting may become an issue. So, Kent seemed to be a good place to put it. Besides, it Vould create jobs for hard working Englishmen like yourself and me."

Chadsworth - "Those are some very well thought out points, For A Secret Ninja Death Assasin! Hi-yah!" Chadsworth jumps out of his chair and tries to karate chop Vladimir. Vladimir steps to the side, as Chadsworth slips and misses.

Vladimir - "I suppose that means we are done for now."

Chadsworth - "Guards! The ninja death assasin is after me!"

Vladimir - "Ok, that's a yes den."

January 9th, 1492, London.

Jones - "The war is over sir! France has finally stopped warring, after 20 consecutive years."

Chadsworth - "Annex Mainz, now!"

Jones - "I'll send a page right away to send the message."

Chadsworth - "So how was your honeymoon with Helga? I heard you spent it exploring the mountains with Helga in Luxemburg."

Jones - "We did sir, It was a most excellent vacation. She's moved with me here back to London, and I'll be around full time."

Chadsworth - "That's fantastic, That ninja death assasin tried to get me, but he had nothing."

Jones - "I should never have let you get a hold of far east literature, before I know it you'll be trying to convert to konfucism and uttering wise sayings."

Chadsworth - "I don't think you have to worry about me uttering wise sayings. It's not really my thing."

Jones - "Quite true sir. How should we handle the Strassbourg sitution?"

Chadsworth - "As soon as we can, release them as vassals. Just another thing France will attack before us once we drop the French."

Jones - "Excellent, sir. Another bit of interesting news, the French have cancelled the Military access they had with Savoy."

Chadsworth - "That is good news, that means they are probably close to declaring war on the Wurzburgian, Bohemian, savoyian alliance. We should butter up the Hessens so we have an alternate route through to Wurzburg than just Mainz."

Jones - "Good thinking sir."

June 1492, London

Jones - "The french have declared war on the savoyian alliance and asked us to join them."

Chadsworth - "If it was anyone else, I'd finally tell those French off, but another shot at Wurzburg and Bohemia? That is so worth it."

Jones - "Just be wary."

Chadsworth - "We will. We shall start by waiting for the wurzburgians to hit us in Mainz."

Jones - "Okay, then."

October 1492, London

Jones - "We withstood the initial assault from Wurzburg, but when the Bohemians showed up with 40000 troops we had to retreat to Pfalz. Mainz is under siege."

Chadsworth - "Bring up the reserves, and join them with Norfolk's force. Them march them up to Hessen and down into Wurzburg, we can win the battle of the sieges before they can."

Jones - "Great idea sir. I'll get right on it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things were progressing well, almost too well. Now where was that other shoe? And why wasn't it dropping?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 1493, London

Jones - We are about 3 months from finihing the siege in Wurzburg, whereas the siege in Mainz is almost a complete failure. Their alliance has already lost 40000 troops to supply attrition. The power of Bohemia has waned in the past year."

Page - "Sirs! Sirs! A special delivery straight from France!"

Chadsworth - "Give it here. 'Oh glorious day! Here is your 25 ducats for we have beaten the savoyians into submission! They have trembled before our combined might. Our Anglo/French alliance is surely the grandest thing ever. Yay, Love France."

Jones - "Sir, are you okay."

Chadsworth - *tick* *twitch* *tick*

Jones - "Uh oh, I think the French have broken chadsworth. Page, go get the doctor."

December 1493, London

Jones - "How is he doing Doctor Dunhill?"

Dunhill - "He's getting better. He just needs a while off from any talk of the French or important policy matters."

Jones - "So I can't tell him that we have declined an invitation from the French to join in a war against Aragon?"

Dunhill - "Any mention of the French for the next 3 yars could send him off the deep end forever. He needs to recuperate."

Jones - "Hmm, I guess I can finally start spending money on trade for once."

January 1st 1497, London

Chadsworths first day back and he's feeling better than ever.

Jones - "It's so good to be working with you again sir."

Chadsworth - "I feel fantastic Jones. Just don't mention the F-word around me otherwise I might have to go have a liedown."

Jones - "Will do sir. On some positive news we have a young man here who says that he would like to explore the white parts we have on all these maps."

Chadsworth - "Who is this fellow?"

Jones - "John Cabot, sir."

Chadsworth - "Sounds Genoan, I don't trust him. Send him away."

Jones - "Uh...well about that sir...Henry VII insists. He even sent a note. Cabot apparently has a grant that basically says
with full and free authoritie, leave, and power, to sayle to all partes, countreys, a see as, of the East, of the West, and of the North, under our banners and ensignes, with five ships ... and as many mariners or men as they will have in saide ships, upon their own proper costes and charges, to seeke out, discover, and finde, whatsoever iles, countreyes, regions or provinces of the heathen and infidelles, whatsoever they bee, and in what part of the world soever they be, whiche before this time have beene unknowen to all Christians."

Chadsworth - "I miss Henry the fifth. He was only one of those kings worth anything at all. Very well, send him off."

Jones - "While you were away, Bohemia lost a big war, and I saw an opportunity to join in their alliance with Wurzburg. I hope we be able to vassalize them both in time."

Chadsworth - "At least you've been keeping busy." On that note, Helga got a bun in the oven yet?"

Jones - "Actually we've had 2 children already sir. Jones Jr. and Jonesetta."

Chadsworth - "Why congratulations Jones, I didn't know you had it you."

Jones - "Thanks, I guess."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

My initial discoveries of america included Mic Mac and Placentia. North american colonizing time has begun. These years were quiet, colonizing, improving relations with wurzburg and bohemia, and failing a few times.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 1503, london.

Jones- "we had an exceptional year last year sir. We made 100 ducats more than anticipated, and all lingering fears of inflation have dissiapted."

Chadsworth - "That's fantastic. Much better than those two peasant revolts we had in the previous 2 years. Why were they revolting anyway? We're the most open minded country in Western europe. If we muscowian we would have slapped the lot of them in chains, and never heard from them again."

Jones - "Sometimes it doesn't matter sir. Bad things just happen. On another note, I think if we increase our military budget to full maintenance and then ask Wurzburg to become our vassals, they might say yes."

Chadsworth - "But that's just stupid."

Jones - "Stupid maybe, but its so stupid, it just might work."

Chadsworth - "Whatever, Jones. We've tried everything else, why not this?"

July 1503, London

Jones - "The Wurzburgians accepted sir! They are now our vassals! We're are most definetly getting there.!"

Chadsworth - "About bloody time. Colonization of north america is fun, but ever since we sent Cabot off that second time he never came back. Maybe we should have had someone look into that?"

Jones - "Probably be better if we didn't sir. You know, let sleeping dogs lie and all that."
 

FlorisDeVijfde

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Talkingdonkey said:
Chadsworth - "Give it here. 'Oh glorious day! Here is your 25 ducats for we have beaten the savoyians into submission! They have trembled before our combined might. Our Anglo/French alliance is surely the grandest thing ever. Yay, Love France."

Jones - "Sir, are you okay."

Chadsworth - *tick* *twitch* *tick*
:rofl:
 

stnylan

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Wonderful as always. with friends like France who has need of enemies?
 

El Pip

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There is no end to the powers of Tea! Perker uper, elixr of youth and it can make Chadsworth far more usefull. :eek:

It can't be long till the rest of Europe works this out so you'd better hurry up on this tea route!

Good work and very funny. :D