Inostra: Thanks. 
Iche_Bins: Stability loss is so annoying. I needs me my CB's.
Chapter 22: It’s a hard knock life.
September 1720, Wurzburg Naval Equipment Manufactory
Several workers are lounging around. They are obviously not working on naval equipment at the moment. One of them is gesticulating wildly.
Johann - “Come on! It will be cool. Just try it!”
Stephan - “I don’t know. It seems dangerous.”
Johann - “I have perfect aim, my father was a sea captain!”
Stephan - “Really?”
Johann - “Yeah, and he let me practice with those cannons all the time! I never missed.”
Stephan - “Well ok, but you owe me an an apple.”
Johann - “Go stand in front of those boxes.”
Stephan - “These boxes here? The ones labeled ‘Schiesspulver?’”
Johann - “Yeah, those ones. Now put the apple on top of your head while I aim the cannon.”
Stephan - “What does ‘Schiesspulver’ mean anyway?”
Johann - “I don’t know. My parents never taught me German, we don’t need it. We’re British.”
Stephan - “Ok.”
Johann - “Hold steady. On the count of three. ONE. TWO. THREE!”
London the next day.
Jones - “You should read this article sir.”
Chadsworth - “Hmm, ‘Massive explosion at Naval Equipment Manufactory kills 234. 234 people died in a tragic accident at the Wurzburg Naval Equipment Manufactory. The accident happened at about 12:30 in the afternoon and the fireball could be seen for miles around. No employees are known to have survived. There was at least one eye witness, Maven Hortenstein, who said ‘There was a boom, followed by a whoosh and then a giant explosion. The sky was lit up like teaindependence day. It was actually quite pretty until it started raining bits of people. I went inside then.’”
Jones - “Needless to say, our manufactory is no more.”
Chadsworth - “Why would we put a naval equipment manufactory in the middle of Germany anyway? Wouldn’t we put something like that on the shore?”
Jones - “We didn’t sir. It was the result of spontaneous civic outreach. And putting it in Germany isn’t all bad, it was really close to the trees. That’s something.”
Chadsworth - “Oh, a magic manufactory, that’s right...”
Jones - “Something like that sir. Should we begin construction on a new one?”
Chadsworth - “Don’t bother. We need our Ducats for more important things at the moment.”
Jones - “Fair enough sir.”
January 1721, London
Jones - “A Sir Robert Walpole is here to see you sir.” A fairly large man comes in.
Chadsworth - “How can I help you, Sir Walpole?”
Walpole - “I am offering my services to the crown. I am a master of diplomacy, coin and military matters.I studied at Eton college and have had a long career in public service. I think I could be of service to you.”
Chadsworth - “What do you want in return? No one ever gives anything for free, and if they do, you don’t want it. I learned that one the hard way.”
Walpole - “I’m a big fan of the Georges. I would very much like to work closely with them. I do so enjoy their company.”
Chadsworth - “Seems reasonable, what is the catch?”
Walpole - “No catch sir. I live to serve.”
Chadsworth - “Ok...see Jones here in the morning, he’ll get you started.”
Walpole - “Thank you sir.” He turns and walks out.
Jones - “I’ve heard of him sir. He does appear to be as good as advertised. He will be quite the boon to our program.”
Chadsworth - “He reminds me of someone...”
Jones - “Who could that be?”
Chadsworth - “Vladimir!”
Jones - “Not this again.”
Chadsworth - “He’s got the same manner. He’s probably working for the Russians too!”
Jones - “Vladimir is not working for the Russians. Walpole is not a spy. You can’t suspect everybody.”
Chadsworth - “I don’t suspect everybody. I don’t suspect you. Or page.”
With a roll of his eyes Jones says “That’s fantastic sir.”
September 1723, London
Jones - “Sir, have you been signing the payroll forms?”
Chadsworth - “Since when do I have to sign the payroll forms? What are payroll forms? How are payroll forms?”
Jones - “One, since April. Two, they help keep track of the amount of money we spend on payroll. Three, I’m not even sure that that is a question. If it is, it doesn’t make any sense.”
Chadsworth - “April, truly?”
Jones - “Yes. Walpole thought them up. They are a brilliant idea. Very efficient. But since you didn’t sign any of them. No one on staff has gotten paid for months. Which would also explain the rise of everyone and their sister taking bribes. This corruption is going to cost us hundreds of Ducats.”
Chadsworth - “Hmm, I thought I had noticed a down turn in the quality of tea I was getting from the kitchen staff recently. I was actually about to go have a talk with them about it.”
Jones - “I’m sure all these problems will be cleared up once we get these people their back pay. Here take this payroll form and sign it.”
Chadsworth - “So, you want me to burn this?”
Jones - “You’re not listening anymore are you?”
Chadsworth - “I don’t have a flower garden.”
Jones - “SIR!”
Chadsworth - “What?”
Jones - “Sign here!”
Chadsworth signs where Jones has indicated. “You don’t have to yell. I was listening.”
Jones - “From now on, once a month I’m going to need you to sign the payroll forms.”
Chadsworth - “The pay what now?”
Jones sighs
March 1726, London
Jones - “In a delightful bit of news, Maine has rebelled against their oppressors in France and joined our empire. We have finally connected our southern French provinces to our northern French provinces.”
Chadsworth - “That is good news. I suppose we will need another missionary to convert them over to protestantism.”
Jones - “We will sir. They are currently catholic.”
Chadsworth - “Another benefit is now we don’t have to travel by sea to get to our nude beaches in Gascogne.”
Jones - “There aren’t any nude beaches in Gascogne.”
Chadsworth - “Yes there are. I was at one 8 years ago. It really was quite liberating.”
Jones - “As I told you then, that wasn’t a nude beach. It was a normal beach. Do you remember hearing any audible gasps?”
Chadsworth - “There were some of those. I assumed that they were surprised to see me in person. I am very important man.”
Jones - “That you are sir. Do you remember anybody exclaiming, “Why I never!” and then fainting?”
Chadsworth - “There were a few of those. I assumed that they were impressed by my stature.”
Jones - “I see. What did you make of the fact that no one else there was naked?”
Chadsworth - “They were shy. You know us Brits always the shy folk.”
Jones - “We don’t have any nude beaches.”
Chadsworth - “Do to.”
Jones - “We don’t.”
Chadsworth sticks out his toungue at Jones.
Jones - “Very mature, sir.”
September 1726, London
Jones - “Michimalik, Detroit and Niagara have revolted away from France to join our country!”
Chadsworth - “Excellent news! What is wrong with the Frenchies? Four provinces that have revolted to us this year already.”
Jones - “I’m not quite sure sir. I haven’t actually read any of the reports we’ve gotten from France for some time.”
Chadsworth - “Isn’t that your job?”
Jones - “You’re criticizing me for not doing my job?!”
Chadsworth - “Fair enough.”
Jones - “I don’t read them because they haven’t said anything interesting or new in decades. They’ve had a lot of internal squabbles and they haven’t really been that active on the world stage with respect to us.”
Chadsworth - “Hmm. I wonder if they are planning something?”
Jones - “I doubt it. It seems more like they are imploding.”
Chadsworth - “Works for me. What’s for lunch?”
Jones - “Blackened fish.”
Chadsworth - “Again! I hate blackened fish. It tastes like old boiled leather.”
Jones - “Hmm, that’s because it is supposed to taste like old boiled leather.”
March 1727, London
Jones - “Kentucky has left France to join our realm. Along with Oshwa, Nambia, and Dakar, that makes four more French provinces that have revolted to us since last October.”
Chadsworth - “Are we going to get any more?”
Jones - “It appears as if the French have quelled the dissent. However, they lost a lot of provinces. Not just to us. The Shawnee are back up to 3 territories and the Cherokee have revolted away from France and now control several territories.”
Chadsworth - “Well then. There goes the French colonial empire. Teach them to not have any troops in America.”
Jones - “All these new provinces are either pagan or Catholic sir.”
Chadsworth “We should send the Missionaries where we can. Let’s start in Canada and work our way south.”
Jones - “Excellent sir. I’ll send out the orders.”
November 1727, London
Jones - “We have reached level 41 in land technology!”
Chadsworth - “Should I be excited?”
Jones - “Very much so. We have discovered how to make our forts super duper awesome.”
Chadsworth - “Super duper awesome? I’m intrigued.”
Jones - “The forts are the latest in impenetrability. They are much like a nun at a barn dance. No matter how hard you try you ain’t getting past those defenses.”
Chadsworth - “Sounds cool, do they have any nifty features?”
Jones - “Artillery will bombard the enemy if they come within one mile of the fortress. Walls 50 feet high, and fifty feet thick. More murder holes than a someone who was stabbed half a thousand times.”
Chadsworth - “You sound really excited about this.”
Jones - “Oh I am. I’m not usually a military aficionado, but this baby has everything. The walls are literally unscalable. So slick that you can’t even lean against the wall, you’ll just slide right to the ground.”
Chadsworth - “Very nice we need to order some of those.”
Jones - “2650 each.”
Chadsworth - “Ack!”
Jones - “They are so worth it sir.”
Chadsworth - “Still...”
Jones - “I understand sir.”
February 1728, London
Jones - “Here is a letter from Hyderabad.”
Chadsworth - “Ok...’Dear GBR, we regret to inform you that we can longer let you continue to molest our sheep. They are very agitated and spook at the sight of a stupid looking British military uniform. Please cease and desist, Hyderabad.”
Jones - “That is a pretty backwards way of insulting us.”
Chadsworth looks up from a note he started writing. “What do you mean?”
Jones - “Our troops don’t actually molest their sheep. They were calling us Sheep molesters.”
Chadsworth balls up the note and tosses it in the trash. “Right..., yeah they shouldn’t have insulted us.”
Jones - “Luckily, we get a Casus Belli on them for a year from this. And Hyderabad is a vassal and alliance partner of the Mughal Empire.”
Chadsworth - “That is interesting...bring me the maps, we have some planning to do.”
January 1729, London
Chadsworth - “Have the Mughals joined on Hyderabad’s side?”
Jones - “Yes they have sir. Unfortunately Portugal has declined the invitation. Should we invite them back in?”
Chadsworth - “Yes. Afterwards send our forces from Berhampur and Palimkedi into Raipur and Gondwana.”
Jones - “What should we do about the 37,000 man army in Hyderabad?”
Chadsworth - “I don’t know? Invite them over for tea?”
Jones - “So that’s a nothing then.”
Chadsworth - “They’ll come to us I’m guessing. Keep building troops in Palimkedi and Berhampur.”
Jones - “Ok sir.”
July 1730, London
Jones - “The war has been difficult so far. We have captured two provinces from the Mughals, but Hyderabad’s giant army caused a lot of casualties and stopped the siege in Malwa until we were able to bring up reinforcements.”
Chadsworth - “And the Mughal forces?”
Jones - “What Mughal forces?”
Chadsworth - “Oh.”
Jones - “We’ve started sieging Delhi, it will probably be a while yet before we can convince them to give us everything we need.”
Chadsworth - “Ok. Is there anything else going on?”
Jones - “Yes sir. Afghanistan has refused to pay their loan.”
Chadsworth - “Time to go to war.”
Jones - “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea sir. Raising forces in the area isn’t easy, and we don’t have that many troops around.”
Chadsworth - “Seems like a problem for you to solve! Get on it my good man.”
Jones - “But sir...”
Chadsworth is up and walking toward the exit. “Can’t hear you! Remember to do a good job.”
Mid 1731, London
Jones - “We have captured Kushka from Afghanistan, but we are having some trouble getting the Afghans to cede the province. We marched into their next territory, but repeated attacks by the Afghans lowered our force to less than covering level. I’m having some more troops brought up from Isfahan.”
Chadsworth - “And the situation elsewhere?”
Jones - “The Uzbek’s keep sending large armies into Astrakhan, however, they keep having to retreat. I’m not sure what is all about.”
Chadsworth - “Perhaps they Astrakhan’t do it? Eh? Astrakhan’t! Get it?”
Jones - “Oh I get it sir. Unfortunately that is the worst pun I have ever heard. Please don’t do that again.”
Chadsworth - “Uh...ok. How about the Mughal war?”
Jones - “We still haven’t quite captured Delhi. But we do control all provinces we would like to take in the peace. We will have to stick it out for a while longer yet.”
Chadsworth - “Keep up the good work.”
Jones - “I will sir.”
April 1732, London
Jones - “After repeated beatbacks of the remnants of their army, the Afghans have decided to give is Kushka!”
Chadsworth - “Fantastic news.”
Jones - “Operations are still ongoing in the Mughal war. We’ve captured all their provinces save two, but still they won’t yield. As a result we are starting to see a problem with rebellions springing up throughout the empire.”
Chadsworth - “Have the remnants of the eastern Mughal force march on Samarkand, maybe one more province will do the trick.”
Jones - “I’ll send the orders sir.”
January 1733, London
Jones - “The Mughal’s have agreed to our demands. Malwa, Gondwana and Raipur are ours!”
Chadsworth stands up, turns around, and starts moving his butt in a circular motion. It appears as if he’s about to drop it likes its hot. Jones starts slowly backing away.
Chadsworth - “Ohhh! Yeeeaaaah! Ohhhhh! Yeeeaaahh!” He’s moving faster now. Up down and all around.
Jones - “Please sir...”
Chadsworth - “You like my moves? I got a new instructor! Come on everybody join in!” While Jones continues to back away the guards start swaying from side. Page watches Chadsworth for a second and then starts to mimic his dance moves.
Chadsworth - “We are so going out partying tonight!”
A few more of the staff filter in to see what the commotion is all about. They can’t resist the urge to dance. No one notices as Jones finally makes it free.
Europe
Middle East
India
North America
I'm a bad man.
Iche_Bins: Stability loss is so annoying. I needs me my CB's.
Chapter 22: It’s a hard knock life.
September 1720, Wurzburg Naval Equipment Manufactory
Several workers are lounging around. They are obviously not working on naval equipment at the moment. One of them is gesticulating wildly.
Johann - “Come on! It will be cool. Just try it!”
Stephan - “I don’t know. It seems dangerous.”
Johann - “I have perfect aim, my father was a sea captain!”
Stephan - “Really?”
Johann - “Yeah, and he let me practice with those cannons all the time! I never missed.”
Stephan - “Well ok, but you owe me an an apple.”
Johann - “Go stand in front of those boxes.”
Stephan - “These boxes here? The ones labeled ‘Schiesspulver?’”
Johann - “Yeah, those ones. Now put the apple on top of your head while I aim the cannon.”
Stephan - “What does ‘Schiesspulver’ mean anyway?”
Johann - “I don’t know. My parents never taught me German, we don’t need it. We’re British.”
Stephan - “Ok.”
Johann - “Hold steady. On the count of three. ONE. TWO. THREE!”
London the next day.
Jones - “You should read this article sir.”
Chadsworth - “Hmm, ‘Massive explosion at Naval Equipment Manufactory kills 234. 234 people died in a tragic accident at the Wurzburg Naval Equipment Manufactory. The accident happened at about 12:30 in the afternoon and the fireball could be seen for miles around. No employees are known to have survived. There was at least one eye witness, Maven Hortenstein, who said ‘There was a boom, followed by a whoosh and then a giant explosion. The sky was lit up like teaindependence day. It was actually quite pretty until it started raining bits of people. I went inside then.’”
Jones - “Needless to say, our manufactory is no more.”
Chadsworth - “Why would we put a naval equipment manufactory in the middle of Germany anyway? Wouldn’t we put something like that on the shore?”
Jones - “We didn’t sir. It was the result of spontaneous civic outreach. And putting it in Germany isn’t all bad, it was really close to the trees. That’s something.”
Chadsworth - “Oh, a magic manufactory, that’s right...”
Jones - “Something like that sir. Should we begin construction on a new one?”
Chadsworth - “Don’t bother. We need our Ducats for more important things at the moment.”
Jones - “Fair enough sir.”
January 1721, London
Jones - “A Sir Robert Walpole is here to see you sir.” A fairly large man comes in.
Chadsworth - “How can I help you, Sir Walpole?”
Walpole - “I am offering my services to the crown. I am a master of diplomacy, coin and military matters.I studied at Eton college and have had a long career in public service. I think I could be of service to you.”
Chadsworth - “What do you want in return? No one ever gives anything for free, and if they do, you don’t want it. I learned that one the hard way.”
Walpole - “I’m a big fan of the Georges. I would very much like to work closely with them. I do so enjoy their company.”
Chadsworth - “Seems reasonable, what is the catch?”
Walpole - “No catch sir. I live to serve.”
Chadsworth - “Ok...see Jones here in the morning, he’ll get you started.”
Walpole - “Thank you sir.” He turns and walks out.
Jones - “I’ve heard of him sir. He does appear to be as good as advertised. He will be quite the boon to our program.”
Chadsworth - “He reminds me of someone...”
Jones - “Who could that be?”
Chadsworth - “Vladimir!”
Jones - “Not this again.”
Chadsworth - “He’s got the same manner. He’s probably working for the Russians too!”
Jones - “Vladimir is not working for the Russians. Walpole is not a spy. You can’t suspect everybody.”
Chadsworth - “I don’t suspect everybody. I don’t suspect you. Or page.”
With a roll of his eyes Jones says “That’s fantastic sir.”
September 1723, London
Jones - “Sir, have you been signing the payroll forms?”
Chadsworth - “Since when do I have to sign the payroll forms? What are payroll forms? How are payroll forms?”
Jones - “One, since April. Two, they help keep track of the amount of money we spend on payroll. Three, I’m not even sure that that is a question. If it is, it doesn’t make any sense.”
Chadsworth - “April, truly?”
Jones - “Yes. Walpole thought them up. They are a brilliant idea. Very efficient. But since you didn’t sign any of them. No one on staff has gotten paid for months. Which would also explain the rise of everyone and their sister taking bribes. This corruption is going to cost us hundreds of Ducats.”
Chadsworth - “Hmm, I thought I had noticed a down turn in the quality of tea I was getting from the kitchen staff recently. I was actually about to go have a talk with them about it.”
Jones - “I’m sure all these problems will be cleared up once we get these people their back pay. Here take this payroll form and sign it.”
Chadsworth - “So, you want me to burn this?”
Jones - “You’re not listening anymore are you?”
Chadsworth - “I don’t have a flower garden.”
Jones - “SIR!”
Chadsworth - “What?”
Jones - “Sign here!”
Chadsworth signs where Jones has indicated. “You don’t have to yell. I was listening.”
Jones - “From now on, once a month I’m going to need you to sign the payroll forms.”
Chadsworth - “The pay what now?”
Jones sighs
March 1726, London
Jones - “In a delightful bit of news, Maine has rebelled against their oppressors in France and joined our empire. We have finally connected our southern French provinces to our northern French provinces.”
Chadsworth - “That is good news. I suppose we will need another missionary to convert them over to protestantism.”
Jones - “We will sir. They are currently catholic.”
Chadsworth - “Another benefit is now we don’t have to travel by sea to get to our nude beaches in Gascogne.”
Jones - “There aren’t any nude beaches in Gascogne.”
Chadsworth - “Yes there are. I was at one 8 years ago. It really was quite liberating.”
Jones - “As I told you then, that wasn’t a nude beach. It was a normal beach. Do you remember hearing any audible gasps?”
Chadsworth - “There were some of those. I assumed that they were surprised to see me in person. I am very important man.”
Jones - “That you are sir. Do you remember anybody exclaiming, “Why I never!” and then fainting?”
Chadsworth - “There were a few of those. I assumed that they were impressed by my stature.”
Jones - “I see. What did you make of the fact that no one else there was naked?”
Chadsworth - “They were shy. You know us Brits always the shy folk.”
Jones - “We don’t have any nude beaches.”
Chadsworth - “Do to.”
Jones - “We don’t.”
Chadsworth sticks out his toungue at Jones.
Jones - “Very mature, sir.”
September 1726, London
Jones - “Michimalik, Detroit and Niagara have revolted away from France to join our country!”
Chadsworth - “Excellent news! What is wrong with the Frenchies? Four provinces that have revolted to us this year already.”
Jones - “I’m not quite sure sir. I haven’t actually read any of the reports we’ve gotten from France for some time.”
Chadsworth - “Isn’t that your job?”
Jones - “You’re criticizing me for not doing my job?!”
Chadsworth - “Fair enough.”
Jones - “I don’t read them because they haven’t said anything interesting or new in decades. They’ve had a lot of internal squabbles and they haven’t really been that active on the world stage with respect to us.”
Chadsworth - “Hmm. I wonder if they are planning something?”
Jones - “I doubt it. It seems more like they are imploding.”
Chadsworth - “Works for me. What’s for lunch?”
Jones - “Blackened fish.”
Chadsworth - “Again! I hate blackened fish. It tastes like old boiled leather.”
Jones - “Hmm, that’s because it is supposed to taste like old boiled leather.”
March 1727, London
Jones - “Kentucky has left France to join our realm. Along with Oshwa, Nambia, and Dakar, that makes four more French provinces that have revolted to us since last October.”
Chadsworth - “Are we going to get any more?”
Jones - “It appears as if the French have quelled the dissent. However, they lost a lot of provinces. Not just to us. The Shawnee are back up to 3 territories and the Cherokee have revolted away from France and now control several territories.”
Chadsworth - “Well then. There goes the French colonial empire. Teach them to not have any troops in America.”
Jones - “All these new provinces are either pagan or Catholic sir.”
Chadsworth “We should send the Missionaries where we can. Let’s start in Canada and work our way south.”
Jones - “Excellent sir. I’ll send out the orders.”
November 1727, London
Jones - “We have reached level 41 in land technology!”
Chadsworth - “Should I be excited?”
Jones - “Very much so. We have discovered how to make our forts super duper awesome.”
Chadsworth - “Super duper awesome? I’m intrigued.”
Jones - “The forts are the latest in impenetrability. They are much like a nun at a barn dance. No matter how hard you try you ain’t getting past those defenses.”
Chadsworth - “Sounds cool, do they have any nifty features?”
Jones - “Artillery will bombard the enemy if they come within one mile of the fortress. Walls 50 feet high, and fifty feet thick. More murder holes than a someone who was stabbed half a thousand times.”
Chadsworth - “You sound really excited about this.”
Jones - “Oh I am. I’m not usually a military aficionado, but this baby has everything. The walls are literally unscalable. So slick that you can’t even lean against the wall, you’ll just slide right to the ground.”
Chadsworth - “Very nice we need to order some of those.”
Jones - “2650 each.”
Chadsworth - “Ack!”
Jones - “They are so worth it sir.”
Chadsworth - “Still...”
Jones - “I understand sir.”
February 1728, London
Jones - “Here is a letter from Hyderabad.”
Chadsworth - “Ok...’Dear GBR, we regret to inform you that we can longer let you continue to molest our sheep. They are very agitated and spook at the sight of a stupid looking British military uniform. Please cease and desist, Hyderabad.”
Jones - “That is a pretty backwards way of insulting us.”
Chadsworth looks up from a note he started writing. “What do you mean?”
Jones - “Our troops don’t actually molest their sheep. They were calling us Sheep molesters.”
Chadsworth balls up the note and tosses it in the trash. “Right..., yeah they shouldn’t have insulted us.”
Jones - “Luckily, we get a Casus Belli on them for a year from this. And Hyderabad is a vassal and alliance partner of the Mughal Empire.”
Chadsworth - “That is interesting...bring me the maps, we have some planning to do.”
January 1729, London
Chadsworth - “Have the Mughals joined on Hyderabad’s side?”
Jones - “Yes they have sir. Unfortunately Portugal has declined the invitation. Should we invite them back in?”
Chadsworth - “Yes. Afterwards send our forces from Berhampur and Palimkedi into Raipur and Gondwana.”
Jones - “What should we do about the 37,000 man army in Hyderabad?”
Chadsworth - “I don’t know? Invite them over for tea?”
Jones - “So that’s a nothing then.”
Chadsworth - “They’ll come to us I’m guessing. Keep building troops in Palimkedi and Berhampur.”
Jones - “Ok sir.”
July 1730, London
Jones - “The war has been difficult so far. We have captured two provinces from the Mughals, but Hyderabad’s giant army caused a lot of casualties and stopped the siege in Malwa until we were able to bring up reinforcements.”
Chadsworth - “And the Mughal forces?”
Jones - “What Mughal forces?”
Chadsworth - “Oh.”
Jones - “We’ve started sieging Delhi, it will probably be a while yet before we can convince them to give us everything we need.”
Chadsworth - “Ok. Is there anything else going on?”
Jones - “Yes sir. Afghanistan has refused to pay their loan.”
Chadsworth - “Time to go to war.”
Jones - “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea sir. Raising forces in the area isn’t easy, and we don’t have that many troops around.”
Chadsworth - “Seems like a problem for you to solve! Get on it my good man.”
Jones - “But sir...”
Chadsworth is up and walking toward the exit. “Can’t hear you! Remember to do a good job.”
Mid 1731, London
Jones - “We have captured Kushka from Afghanistan, but we are having some trouble getting the Afghans to cede the province. We marched into their next territory, but repeated attacks by the Afghans lowered our force to less than covering level. I’m having some more troops brought up from Isfahan.”
Chadsworth - “And the situation elsewhere?”
Jones - “The Uzbek’s keep sending large armies into Astrakhan, however, they keep having to retreat. I’m not sure what is all about.”
Chadsworth - “Perhaps they Astrakhan’t do it? Eh? Astrakhan’t! Get it?”
Jones - “Oh I get it sir. Unfortunately that is the worst pun I have ever heard. Please don’t do that again.”
Chadsworth - “Uh...ok. How about the Mughal war?”
Jones - “We still haven’t quite captured Delhi. But we do control all provinces we would like to take in the peace. We will have to stick it out for a while longer yet.”
Chadsworth - “Keep up the good work.”
Jones - “I will sir.”
April 1732, London
Jones - “After repeated beatbacks of the remnants of their army, the Afghans have decided to give is Kushka!”
Chadsworth - “Fantastic news.”
Jones - “Operations are still ongoing in the Mughal war. We’ve captured all their provinces save two, but still they won’t yield. As a result we are starting to see a problem with rebellions springing up throughout the empire.”
Chadsworth - “Have the remnants of the eastern Mughal force march on Samarkand, maybe one more province will do the trick.”
Jones - “I’ll send the orders sir.”
January 1733, London
Jones - “The Mughal’s have agreed to our demands. Malwa, Gondwana and Raipur are ours!”
Chadsworth stands up, turns around, and starts moving his butt in a circular motion. It appears as if he’s about to drop it likes its hot. Jones starts slowly backing away.
Chadsworth - “Ohhh! Yeeeaaaah! Ohhhhh! Yeeeaaahh!” He’s moving faster now. Up down and all around.
Jones - “Please sir...”
Chadsworth - “You like my moves? I got a new instructor! Come on everybody join in!” While Jones continues to back away the guards start swaying from side. Page watches Chadsworth for a second and then starts to mimic his dance moves.
Chadsworth - “We are so going out partying tonight!”
A few more of the staff filter in to see what the commotion is all about. They can’t resist the urge to dance. No one notices as Jones finally makes it free.
Europe
Middle East
India
North America
I'm a bad man.
Last edited:
