• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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Second Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2003
141
0
Almost Vanilla 1.07 GC, Netherlands can form if any of the Dutch minors "Collects them All!" That is the only change.
Difficulty/Aggression: Hard/Normal

This is my first AAR. I'm also a relatively new player, but I have a decent grasp on the game. I have no idea If I'll be able to accomplish what I set out to do or not, but it should be interesting. If somethings don't make sense in my AAR, I blame my non-existant proofreading.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chadsworth III comes from a long line of English political advisors. His assistant Jones, comes from a long line of political advisor assistants. Chadsworth and Jones are the power behind the throne. Unfortunately, whether it was because of poor breeding or bad nutrition, the political advice isn't as sound as it used to be. Sometimes, however, sheer brilliance shines through...

January 1st 1419, London 4PM, offically known around court as Scones time.

Chadsworth - "Jones?! What the devil is this?"

Jones - "It's Tea, sir. Just arrived in London from someplace called Namching."

Chadsworth - "It's absolutely delicious when combined with the scones. You simply must try it."

Jones takes a sip. An astonished look appears on his face. "I do believe this is the greatest Scones time we've ever had."

Chadsworth - "I concur. Tea and Scones, who would have believed it? We simply must acquire more of this delicious drink."

Jones - "Apparently sir, merchants have been unable to bring much more tea back from Namching. A perilous journey to be sure. I can ask around, but I believe the palace recieved the box of Tea as a gift. And the remainder was quickly sold."

Chadsworth - "No, that simply won't do. For too long have I thought something was missing during Scones time. Now I have found my other half. Scones and Tea, Tea and Scones."

Jones - "I agree, but neither you nor I can magic more Tea out of thin air."

Chadsowrth - "When we Two parted
In silence and tears,
Half Broken-hearted,
To Sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this..."

Jones - "That simply won't do sir, you can't go around quoting Lord Byron."

Chadsworth - "And why not?"

Jones - "For one, he won't be born for another 369 years..."

Chadsworth - "If he hasn't been born yet, how come I just quoted him?"

Jones - "Interesting conundrum, that is."

Chadsworth - "And another thing, how is it you know when he's going to be born and that I was quoting him?"

Jones - "All good questions, sir."

A page comes running in. "Sirs! There is rioting in the streets! People have heard tell of 'Tea' and everyone is demanding equal and fair share in all Teas! It's insane! It's egalitarian! It's Hyperbole!"

Chadsworth - "Oh good heavens, I see a time of great trouble in front of us. And I for one will lead us towards the light."

Jones - "Towards the light, sir?"

Chadsworth - "Tea is our salvation, confer with me while we draw up the plans, we have some business to be about..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Goals by 1819.

1. Own all 7 tea producing provinces in the world.
2. Establish a land corridor from Calais to namching. A Tea Route if you will.
3. Fortify the hell out of that route.
4. Fortification is especially important because Protestantism is not tolerated everywhere, but in my territories, it's the only religion that is acceptable.
5. Owning Massachusetts before 1773 is a must. Losing it after that, meh.
6. If it isn't North America, or directly useful in securing both Sea and land routes for Tea to move back to England, then I won't be colonizing it.
7. Once the land route is secured I can make the land route bigger by taking adjoining land.
8. No Bad boy wars.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jones - "That's a marvelous plan sir. We should get started right away."

Chadsworth - "Indeed, have that king fellow get started on it as soon as possible."
 
Last edited:

unmerged(40258)

I follow the Hawk
Feb 18, 2005
2.999
1
Capital idea for an AAR!

Nice to see goals set to role-play the game situation.

Funny too.

Will be watching this.

....and.... Good Luck!
 

stnylan

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Great!
 

unmerged(24115)

Second Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2003
141
0
Chapter 1: The first step on the road to namchang.

Later that day...

Chadsworth - "Now that we have convinced our army that the best defense is a good offense and created a plan of action, a starting point if you will, perhaps we should be about it then?"

Jones - "About that sir, apparently we are already in a war."

Chadsworth - "Did I order this war? I don't recall starting this war..."

Jones - "Ah, that's the sticky wicket sir. Apparently, the consensus amongst the diplomats here is that, and I quote, 'What are you talking about? We've always been at war with France.'"

Chadsworth - "Seems like someone in a position like mine would have known about that..."

Jones - "You'd think so, wouldn't you sir?"

Chadsworth - "Let's just not tell anyone about then?"

Jones - "Capital idea, sir."

Chadsworth - "Moving on... So, who do we have in charge nowadays? Henry VIII?"

Jones - "No, sir. Henry VIII is the one with all the wives, Henry V is the one we got now. He's the one who likes to give speeches about Saint Crispin's day and the like."

Chadsworth - "Aah, that's right. I'm getting me monarchs messed up again."

Jones - "And again, sir it's best if you rephrain from mentioning future kings. I have a serious belief that my life should not end tied to a burning stake."

Chadsworth - "I really haven't mastered this temporal thing yet, have I?"

Jones - "Not quite, sir. Not quite."

Chadsworth - "Have Henry the arbitrarily large number start siegeing something, anything really."

Jones - "Admittedly I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure 5 isn't 'arbitrarily large' by any means. Anyways, I'll get right on it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started the war by sending my armies to picardie, guyonne and lothian in Scotland. Brittany went for Maine and Burgundy as far as I can tell did nothing. I was really hoping for something.

On the other side, Scotland went for north umberland, France for Artois and various others for burgundies capital.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Early 1420, London

Chadsworth - "317 days."

Jones - "What's that sir?"

Chadsworth - "317 days since we last had any tea. It is truly a dark time in England's history."

Jones - "I have some news that might cheer you up a bit, the war is progressing quite splendidly. We've captured, Lothian, Picardie, and Guyonne!"

Chadsworth - "Lothian? Where the devil is that? East Nowhereistan?"

Jones - "Close, sir. It is in Scotland."

Chadsworth - "We're at war with Scotland? Whatever for?"

Jones - "Some believe the answer to that is that they are Scots sir."

Chadsworth - "Bah! Send a peace offer, Scotland is north! Tea is kind of Southeasterly...I think..."

Jones - "Very good sir."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I peaced out the Scots for 25 ducats and several months later, the bourbonais too. King henry marched on Paris, and the the army for scotland joined him. Census tax was spent on pretty horsies.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

July 29th, 1420, London.

Jones - "Fantastic news sir!"

Chadsworth - "What's that my good man?"

Jones - "Paris has Fallen and Henry is marching on Champagne!"

Chadsworth - "Capital. Did you remind him to steal everything that isn't tied down from Champage?"

Jones - "I did, sir. It's unfortunate we forgot to give the order in Paris."

Chadsworth - "What kind of unfit army needs to be ordered to loot everything in sight?"

Jones - "Apparently ours sir. On a related note, Burgundy settled with France by giving them 135 ducats."

Chadsworth - "That's unfortunate. I was really hoping the french would claim Artois, then we send Henry in just like that ipso facto, e plurbius unum, and Bob's your uncle!"

Jones - "Sounds excellent sir. However, we'll just have to make sure the burgundians lose the next war to France."

Chadsworth - "It occurs to me that we are perhaps the worst allies ever."

Jones - "Not so sir. We very often tell the burgundians we don't like them. It is not our fault they don't understand broken middle english."

Chadsworth - "We really need to update the messenger service. That's got to be hurting out international credibility."

Jones - "It might be at that sir."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The war proceeded quickly, and by Oct 1st it was over.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oct 1st 1420, London.

Jones - "The war is won sir. The French have accepted our proposal. They gave us picardie, 125 ducats and miltary access."

Chadsworth - "125 ducats?! 125 ducats!? I'm rich Mitch!"

Jones - "I really do prefer to be called Jones..."

Chadsworth - "We can get 2 Tax collectors and a unit of cavalry! Oh happy day!"

Jones "Uh, unfortunatly sir, our share was 63 ducats. Brittany did their fair share."

Chadsworth - "You mean getting beat around by Provence?"

Jones - "Yes, that sir."

Chadsworth - "I hate Brittany soo much."

Jones - "Remember sir, we took the first step. Picardie is one step closer to our goal. With military access in France, we can begin preparations for an assault on the most heinous of heinous...things...The Luxembourgers."

Chadsworth - "Eyes on the prize, Chadsworth, Eyes on the prize."

Jones - "That's the spirit sir."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spent the money on a TC in anglia and picked up a RM with burgundy and Castille. Here's the current map.

 
Last edited:

stnylan

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So it begins. Onward English soldiers / marching to the tea
 

unmerged(24115)

Second Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2003
141
0
Duke of Wellington said:
Excellent update. Have you done anything like this before?
Nope, I haven't really ever played with a major power actually. The best country I've tried is Gelre, which could also turn into the Netherlands. It's interesting to have actual set beginning of the game goals. Normally I just play and see what happens.
 

unmerged(24115)

Second Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2003
141
0
Chapter 2: Wracked with indecision.

The war won, Chadsworth and Jones meet to plan their next moves. Artois was a must, but after that...

Late 1420, London.

Chadsworth - "I just love saying Picardie. It really rolls off the tongue. Wouldn't you agree, Jones?"

Jones - "Picardie is a lovely place, especially since we have removed the last signs of those uncouth, tea forsaking French from the place."

Chadsworth - "How could anyone not realize the brilliance of Tea?"

Jones - "I'm not sure, sir."

Chadsworth - "Yes, yes...'

Jones - "Moving on, We have yet to finallize plans for the next few years. Recent information has come to my attention. The Luxembourgers have entered an alliance with the Austrians, Sieberbergens and hungarians, and even now they sit holed up in their Tea-less mountain fortresses with 20 thousand men."

Chadsworth - "Perhaps caution should be the word of the day. It occured to me that the next few years could be better served improving the Tax collection system throughout the Kingdom."

Jones - "You had a thought sir? I thought you usually didn't use your brain on thursdays?"

Chadsworth - "That was the old Chadsworth, Jones! Ever since I first tasted that magical elixir my life and vigor has returned and I will not be satisfied until the Tea route is secured!"

Jones - "Marvelous, sir. You are much more effecient when you don't nod off during the meetings."

A page comes running in... "Sirs! Sirs! Some nobles have arrived with a very big box, it could contain anything, A mound full of gems, life exotic animals, or even a slightly smaller box!"

Chadsworth - "Even tea?"

Jones - "Lets find out, then?"

The page brings the box in and Chadsworth steps up and lifts the lid...A solitary tear rolls from the corner of his eye as he lifts a smaller box from within.

Chadsworth - "It's so beautiful. Our own box of Earl Grey. Truly these nobles are the greatest of men."

Jones peering inside the bigger box, "Sir! There are 225 Ducats in here!"

Chadsworth - "Confound it, Jones! How can you think of ducats at a time like this! Earl Grey, my man! Earl Grey!"

Jones - "I'm sorry sir, sometimes my responsibilites get in the way of what's truly important."

Chadsworth - "I never have that problem."

Jones - "And that's why you are the leader, and I your humble servant."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The early 1420's were spent promoting TC's everywhere. The extra tax income will help in all those future wars and whatnot. In retrospect I should have not put one in Meath, but whatever. I was mostly preparing for the day when war with France would be available again. But a funny thing happened on the way to the war...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mid-1423, London.

Jones - "Sir! Sir! The Artois are revolting!"

Chadsworth - "Don't I know it!" A Ba-Dum Ching! comes from the corner.

Jones - "Uh, sir...why do you have a drummer?"

Chadsworth - "I won a court case, his punishment is to be my personal drummer for a week." A Ba-Dum Ching! sounds from the corner. "No, no! only after jokes! I explained this in detail!" Ba-Dum Ching!

Jones - "Annnnnnyways...Artois has fallen to the Rebels and the Rebels are marching on Flanders."

Chadsworth - "You know Jones, if we delay our war for a bit this could play right into our hands..." Ba-Dum Ching! "When I'm trailing off in thought, no Ba-Dum Ching!" Ba-Dum Ching! "No BA-DUM CHING!" Ba-Dum Ching! "AAAAAAAAAARGH!" Then a slightly softer ba-dum ching. from the corner.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I waited it out, and in November of 1427 Artois defected to France, excellent. Earlier in March, I reached Infra 2. I spent 1428 sucking up to Dulkadir joping for maps, I had no luck whatsover, I asked like four times at very high relations and they haven't shared.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 1429, London.

Jones - "It's a good day sir. Nothing but fantastic news all around."

Chadsworth - "Even after convincing the clergy that more thinking was good? "

Jones - "Even after sir, and in some cases because. By my calculations, are merchants will suddenly inexplicably get more efficient next month! And we had rise to a new leader, Talbot!"

Chadsworth - "Hmm, just what we needed. Begin preparations for the next war with france."

Jones - "I shall immediatly send the messenger sir."

Chadsworth - "Did you word it like I said, calling them Them tea hating uncouths without a shred of Sconeness about their being?"

Jones - "Just as you named it sir."

Chadsworth - "Excellent, and no we wait..."

The next January.

Chadsworth - "Why won't the French declare war on us?"

Jones - "Apprently they don't understand that when we insult them about Tea, it is the gravest of all insults."

Chadsworth- "Sacrilege!"

Jones - "Being no theologian, I'm sure it's not sacrilege, but it is a trifle upsetting."

Chadsworth - "That's it, we march to war on June 1st, come hell or DoW."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second French war started similarily to the first. The Scots got the drop on me in North umberland, so I had to sail an army up to lothian for that siege. I also marched on Artois, Ile de france and guyonne. As usual, everyone on the french side, including Gelre now beat on Burgundy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Late 1430, london

Chadsworth - "These French wars are all the same once you've fought one, you've fought them all."

Jones - "I agree sir, now that guyonne and Ile de France have fallen, those armies are on the march, and Artois should fall soon."

Chadsworth - "Did we loot Paris this time?"

Jones - "We did sir."

Chadsworth - "And the tea haul?"

Jones - "We found no tea at all in Paris. Being the only civilized country on earth sometimes is truly a bother."

Chadsworth - "Sometimes late at night, when it's dark and I'm alone...I forget the taste..."

Jones - "Sir?"

Chadsworth - "I can't remember the taste!"

Jones look aghast "Sir, I...I'm...speechless."

Chadsworth - "It's been too long! ever since that sweet taste of Earl Grey... I'm so tired Jones."

Jones - "We shall persevere sir! For we are the English!"

Chadsworth - *sigh*

February 15th, 1431, London.

Jones - "I know you've been in a fugue for a month now sir, but Artois feel yesterday, and the French today have accepted our proposal! We now have taken the next step. Artois is ours!"

Chadsworth - "Truly? Then maybe, there is hope. They say, it's always darkest before the dawn. Perhaps now, is our dawn."

Jones - "While true sir, 'they' say a lot of things. I've never trusted 'they' myself."

Chadsworth - "Now we find ourselves at a crossroads, France is no longer our enemy, the luxembourgers are. Do we angle for a French alliance after we ditch burgundy like a bad habit, or a spanish/portuguese one?"

Jones - "Time shall tell sir, time shall tell."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got TC's everywhere except for Artois, at the moment I'm rebuilding my stability, and then I'll work on Land tech. Land Tech five is quite aways away.

http://img160.imageshack.us/my.php?image=screensave12zy.jpg

As you can see, the ottomans are having fun in Italy, plus they have 2 Italian Vassals!
 

unmerged(40258)

I follow the Hawk
Feb 18, 2005
2.999
1
must....have.... tea!

good job there!

but is it a rule that the corridor cannot be more than 1 prov wide?

maybe you should have taken all of France to build up for your future conquests. Now onward to more tea. and scones, of course.
 

stnylan

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Another small step along the road.
 

Ciçatrix

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This sounds interesting. I will be watching. :)
Oh, and why are you playing 1.07 with 1.09 out?
 

unmerged(40258)

I follow the Hawk
Feb 18, 2005
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Ciçatrix said:
This sounds interesting. I will be watching. :)
Oh, and why are you playing 1.07 with 1.09 out?
is it because you can reorganize moving troops maybe?
 

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Fnuco said:
is it because you can reorganize moving troops maybe?
Could be, I don't know, as 1.07 is before my time. But I can see the sence in that.