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WhiteHojo

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Originally posted by Sgt. Bloomfield
WhiteHojo: Go on, drink your "beer." Ignorance is Bliss. And if you want a little fix of ignorance, go here. Who knows, might even run into some old acquaintances... :D

See!! This is what comes of drinking that Euro Beer. ;)

God save the Miller Brewing Company!!!

:D
 

WhiteHojo

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Once again, all blame can be laid squarely at the feet of Ariel and European Beer. (or B33R - I still don't get it?)

:)
 

unmerged(4007)

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Re; Duel

Sgt Bloomfield,

I choose Roman Candles.

BTW, I as an American, must say that there is no greater sport in the world than the real version of football (that is, the version that actually USES the feet). As the old coach of Liverpool used to say, "Some people say that football is a matter of life and death. I think it is much, much more important than that." :D

And I do admit, having been an eintauschschuler in Deutchland in 1988, a certain fondness for the German national team--including cheering for them when they won Euro 96 in Wembley. :D A one legged Jurgen Klinsmann setting up the winning goal against those whining Czechs.
 

unmerged(2591)

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Captain Ariel,do you see a connection here:EU is Swedish,and who else is swedish?Englands head coach:)
(by the by,always liked England as an national team,and I hope you'll have an success this time....norway haven't had it as you might have noticed)
 

Lord Durham

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Sorry Ariel, there's just one more addition to the 'bastard' thread. It doesn't change anything but... ah, go read it for yourself ;)
 

Sgt. Bloomfield

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Make that two more additions, Captain.

shawng1: Eintauschschueler. I like that. I was an Austauschschueler, but heck, I always thought those kids should be traded in rather than exchanged...

And yes: Klinsmann--Bierhoff--GOAL!!! Although I must say that I enjoyed watching the English team most during that whole tournament. There was such excitement and spirit in the team. Very much more fun than the Germans who were sleepwalking until the got into the semi-finals... What was that ludicrous song the English were singing again?
 

Headhunter

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Geez, I'm away for a couple of days, and still nothing new! Although, I appreciate the trashing of what Americans like to call "beer" and "football". Hey Ariel, (I mean, Captain, sir!) I feel for you about the game. But if it makes you feel any better, they're not even broadcasting the games over here! I had to rely on my friends over in the mother country to call me every time we scored! One of these days these godforsaken colonies will figure out what real sport is and perhaps I can catch more than the odd Saturday match during the season. Fortunately, I'm a Man Utd fan and my team gets more air-time than most. Five minutes from Old Trafford? Are you hiring? :D
 

unmerged(1996)

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Morning all,

Right then, I won't allow myself to get sucked back into the beer - football debate, as that will just distract me from... this lunchtime's update! Yes, an update. A long time coming, I know, but don't blame me, blame all those incredibly talented and stupidly enthusiastic frustrated novelists over on the 'bastard...' thread. And no, I didn't mind the additional post or two at all, especially the summary, which was most helpful :D

Okay, update follows at lunchtime today... see y'all then.
 

Pan Zagloba

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Originally posted by Ariel

Sgt B - Are you ready for a tale of personal tragedy? Germany vs. England, right? Potentially the crunch match that decides the group, right? One of the most important matches since the semi final of Euro '96, right? September 1st, right? You'd think that nothing, and I mean nothing could possibly keep me from watching that match, right? Wrong. Have a guess which day my sister has decided to get married on...

A cousin of my partner decided to get married on World Cup Final day in 1966. There are still hard feelings about that at family gatherings.

Incidentally, Poland drew 1-1 with an Armenian side reduced to 8 men. :( So joy was not quite unconfined the other day.

Now, on with the update, SAH!

Zagloba
 

unmerged(3438)

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Captain Ariel, Sir, I think you better come through with this update or this thread will end up in a brawl:) .

To add my tidbit, I must say I'm rather partial to english bitters, although I like some belgians too.

Concerning football, I must say I've still not understood so-called american football : probably soon they'll be playing it from inside tanks, or maybe they're just nostalgic, their hearts harking back to the armored knights tourneying:D !
 

unmerged(1996)

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Fourth Great War of Europe, continued, March 1701 - January 1702

The events of the last day or two have been quite irksome. It would seem that a group of plotters I thought long dealt with have resurfaced and are even now stirring up trouble against the King and his Government. No matter. Their secret meeting has been broken up by the timely arrival of my loyal men and they have all fled back into hiding. But never fear - I have the situation entirely under control and each and every one of the treasonous swine who so dare to intrigue against me… ah, against England, shall be dealt with in due course. I must not allow the Princess Anne’s revelation to distract me o’er long from the good governance of the Empire, especially with the King’s health still in so delicate a state. In time I shall have to decide what to do with her ladyship (and to think, once I would have given her my heart, my soul, my very life) and her offspring – if indeed she tells the truth… Anne is a canny creature, I see that now. She has been up in Scotland these past few months, who is to say that the child is indeed hers, or if it is, that I am the father. There is surely no way to tell, short of the intervention of Most Holy God… or wait. Perhaps there might be…

I am sure the matter Is not over yet, but for the time being I am happy to allow it to lay dormant. I have other important matters to oversee. We are at war!

Our assault on Jordan is interrupted by a Tripolitanian recruit army's rush to commit suicide but we shall sweep them aside and take the city nevertheless. On the 3rd Morocco demands 250d for peace and then Turkey does the same on the 4th. Both demands are declined, of course. Damned heathens.

On the 5th the Austrians lead an allied assault on Turk-held Kosovo. We take Jordan from the half-hearted and unskilled defenders on the 9th. Another portion of the Holy Land is ours! Quickly our commanders in the field re-order our armies. Our Egypt-bound force will march on to Delta instead whilst our Samarian army takes Tripolitanian-held Nile and the victorious army of Jordan marches on the province of Egypt itself.

At the western end of the continent, having decided the Moroccan army poses no threat at this time, our cavalry force heads back east to participate in the assault on Tripoli. Our Home Army arrives off Morocco on the 22nd and begins its landing. On the 24th we lay siege to Mascate, the capital of Oman. Attrition is likely to be a problem for our troops, even though many of them are Indian nationals and so well used to the heat, so we will assault the city at the earliest reasonable opportunity.

Nothing has been heard from the plotters for a few weeks now. The King’s health is improving again, although Forunier has asked for a leave of absence for some reason. I have installed another man – a certain Doctor Faustino, an Italian friend of our own Dr D--, who apparently is an expert in the health of monarchs. Princess Anne, too has made herself conspicuous by her absence from court. Some say she has taken a new lover, although my sources have been unable to discover exactly who – luckily for him. If I found him, I would have no recourse but to call him out for sullying the person of so noble a lady.

April 1701

Morocco joins the Portuguese alliance on the 2nd and on the same day Tripoli offers us Jordan and Samaria in exchange for peace, which we refuse to settle for. Tripolitania is soon to become an addition to the English crown. Why should we settle for less, our armies are invincible in the face of such meager opposition.

Our trader arrives in Winisk on the 3rd but we fail to reach Eskimalt on the 5th and so another trade mission is sent. The next two weeks are relatively quiet – our siege of Mascate continues and our armies continue to manouevre in northern Egypt. Georgia re-takes their second province from Turkey on the 18th, a blow struck for Christendom against the heathen that we must applaud - even if the Georgians do remain staunch allies of our principle enemy. On the 26th we lay siege to Thrace and on the 28th we re-take Flandres from the rebels.

I think the plot is dead. Anne has been seen more and more at court, looking – although it pains me to admit it – absolutely radiant. A certain young beau, the son of Lord Durham of Dulsworth – is seldom far from her presence, so my sources inform me. I shall have to watch him most closely, for if he is this rumoured lover of Anne’s, his days are numbered… As for her child, word has arrived that she has spirited it out of the capital for its own safety – although I have received conflicting reports of its whereabouts and so I suspect a deliberate smoke screen. I have to seriously consider the possibility that if the King’s health does not improve further, and soon, then Anne may seek to claim the throne for herself. Her bastard child would have no such claim, unless she were to legitimise it, and even then she would need reliable witnesses. I must take steps to deal with the possibility, although the thought that I might be acting against my own infant son still galls me. I must know the truth of his parentage before I act. I shall speak again to my special adviser…

May 1701

A May Day revolt sees Caux taken by rebels before whilst our garrison celebrated the revels. An ingenious plot, typical of the French. Marlborough will deal with it. On the 3rd we defeat a token army and besiege Tripoli, and our 35,000 strong Home Army lands in Morocco to besiege their capital. On the 14th we besiege Egypt and on the 15th, Delta. Our latest expedition to Enkar fails on the 18th and we send another. We are determined to inaugurate a city there to serve as a base for further colonisation of the region. On the 20th we defeat the rebels of Caux and besiege the town. On the 20th our army in Morocco is attacked by 2,000 recruits and annihilates them, then on the 29th another 11,000 infantry attack from the south.

June 1701

Istria rises in revolt and our garrison marches from Illyria to deal with them. War Fatigue is beginning to set in elsewhere. The time has come to end this conflict, and as swiftly as we are able. On the 8th our siege army in Tripoli fights off a recruit force of 6,000 and we defeat the Moroccans at their capital and launch an assault there. Tripoli offers Jordan and Samaria for peace on the 9th but we refuse again. On the 13th the Moroccan capital falls and we march on Toubkal. On the 16th reinforcements arrive in Tripoli and we launch a full assault, and our siege army in Mascate is attacked by 7,000 Omanis. On the 24th we seize the unfortified town in the Nile province and march on the Tripolitanian colony in Cataract. On the 29th the Moroccans counter-attack against our southward-bound army.

The Princess Anne has been attending gala receptions, balls and parties fro the past two months. Her beau has gone into hiding – someone got word to him that my men were watching him closely and he seems to have panicked. My suspicions have been confirmed, it would seem. I will take my satisfaction on the dueling field the very next time I clap eyes on young Geoffrey Durham. It appears more than likely that the princess is currying favour with the nobles, I can fear that the only likely outcome will be a push for the throne. I really must speak to Dr Faustino, it is high time the King made a full recovery and took up the slack reins of power once more.

July 1701

The assault on Tripoli is thrown off on the 2nd, which is a great annoyance and will prolong the war most inconveniently. We despatch 10,000 infantry from Helvetia to Nice for transportation to North Africa, hopefully in time for another assault in September. 20,000 recruits are raised in Nice and Milan to help police the region in the event of rebellion - voices are beginning to be heard once more in the Italian provinces calling for revolt and the Dutch won’t be far behind.

We defeat the Moroccan army on the 5th and our forces arrive in Istria to tackle the rebels on the 6th. On the 10th we are attacked by the rest of the Moroccan army in Morocco. If we can defeat them now there will be nothing to stop us seizing the entire country. The Istrian rebels are defeated on the 17th but the Moroccans are a much tougher prospect and are quite aware they are fighting for their very independence now. The Moroccans morale finally appears to be breaking by the 28th but still they fight on.

August 1701

A small force of Moroccan infantry arrives to reinforce their position but it is surely too little, too late. By the time we finally defeat them on the 10th, 31/82/0 is all that remains of the Moroccan force of 23,000. It is with joy in their hearts that our army resumes its march on Toubkal. We seize the Tripolitanians’ Cataract colony on the 24th. A small force diverts to assist in Egypt and the remainder of our army marches on Alexandria.

Again the Princess has been busy at court. She has taken to holding evening soirees with her closest confidants, several of whom are young gentlemen of the court and surely not suitable company for a lady of her standing. It would seem her appetites have only grown since the days in which I… knew her. Geoffrey Durham was sighted once in the White Chapel district of London but when my man Khan gave chase the stripling avoided him, fleeing with tail between his legs. Khan grows old, I fear. It may soon be time to look for a younger man to take on his duties. But then, there are voices here at court that say the same of me… They shall get no such satisfaction, I can assure you.

September 1701

The long-anticipated Italian trouble arises as both the Dauphine and Luca rise in revolt. Our garrisons from Helvetia and Illyria march to deal with the peasants. We also raise another 20,000 infantry in the region to deal with further outbreaks of unrest. Damn these disloyal elements who stir up such rank stupidity among our otherwise loyal subjects! May their souls rot in hell for their treason against our beloved King.

On the 20th we capture Constantinople from the Turk. Are armies are becoming quite the regular tourists in Constantine’s city – indeed I have heard that some of the veterans of past campaigns look forward to our next war with the Turk as a chance to enjoy re-visiting their ‘regular’ brothels and pleasure-houses. We do not send for the Turkish ambassador yet though - we do not wish to make our demands known at this time. Let them sweat a little more.

A portion of our force embarks from Thrace to assist in Egypt. On the 26th we lay minimal siege to Alexandria, pending the arrival of reinforcements, specifically our artillery train. 5,000 recruits from Tunisia arrive in Tripoli on the 28th and we launch a fresh assault on the city. This time, surely, the heathens’ capital will be ours…

October 1701

Surprisingly, Poland pays 160d indemnities to Oman for peace on the 2nd of October. I send a private letter containing our sincerest commiserations to Ambassador Zagloby and suggest that next time if Poland is so sorely troubled by such a terrible enemy as Oman they should try fighting a little harder…

We establish our trade post in Eskimalt on the 3rd and on the 4th our army in Morocco is attacked by another diversionary force from Toubkal. Obviously we are doomed never to progress southwards as our attacking force contains no cavalry with which we could scout ahead and prevent these delaying attacks.

The assault on Tunis is thrown off on the 6th, but fresh reinforcements are almost here and then we can repeat the attack. We defeat the minimal Moroccan force on the 10th but are forced to re-start our march. On the 13th Oman demands 250d for our surrender, which is amusing enough but will only cause them pain in the long run, and Tripolitania offers us Jordan and Samaria, an offer which is getting particularly old. We wish they had the grace to wait for their inevitable defeat and then submit meekly like the rest of North Africa…

Towards the end of October our Indus fleet drives off a Turkish squadron and we prepare to ship another 19,000 men and 20 cannon to the siege of Mascate, which is progressing not at all well, we must admit. Perhaps these Omanis do know how to fight after all?

Another development at court. His Majesty King William was able to appear in person before the court for the first time in many months. He appeared weak and tired still but his faithful physician Dr Faustino was always at his side, ready to lend him a supporting hand and with the proper range of potions and tonics at his disposal. I was however, disturbed to see that Anne danced attendance on His Majesty in a manner most improper for a lady with regards to her dead sister’s husband. I think I see now the game she is playing, and oh, it is a dangerous one. We shall see whether her guile is any match for my steadfast loyalty, whether her cunning can overcome my own sound planning…

November 1701

There is a second revolt in the Dauphine and now 46,000 rebels are squabbling over the city. We decide to wait for winter's attrition to take its toll before we make our move against them. Our Helvetian reinforcements land in Tripoli on the 10th and we launch a third assault against the fortress. The next two weeks are a tense time, as reports from North Africa come in on an almost hourly basis. Then, the message arrives that I have been waiting for.

We take Tripolitania on the 24th and demand their total surrender and annexation to the English crown - which they refuse! Unbelievable. I am about to have the ambassador flogged for this blatant flaunting of international law and custom, when attention is drawn to a sub-note on an earlier report by one of my clerks. To our extreme annoyance we discover that the Tripolitanian army currently controls the Polish town of Pest. The Ambassador is incredibly smug about this small detail, but we remind him that an army of 67,000 Poles is marching in that direction from the south and so surely it is only a matter of time before the Tripolitanians are truly defeated and then we shall see him again, and make him crawl…

Our army in Tripoli takes ship to sail east and join the sieges of Alexandria and Delta. In the meantime, Enkan expands again and we send another colonial mission.

December 1701

We lose control of Conneticut to rebels and send our army of 15,000 from Catawan to deal with them. Again our army in Morocco is counter-attacked by a mere 2,000 enemy soldiers and their march disrupted. They are wiped out on 2 days and again we march south. Oh, for some cavalry to send on ahead and sweep the hills clear. We defeat the Lucan rebels on the 20th and on the same day the province of Egypt falls to our army and we send our troops westwards to Alexandria.

January 1702

Tax 1140d. The new year brings new revenue and so our economy is reined in from its war footing - we now have over 5,000 ducats in the treasury – enough to last this war we think. Our Empire suffers a revolt in Connaught but our garrison in Leinster is on hand to deal with the situation. On the 22nd a small force of Tripolitanians re-takes Cataract - our army from Alexandria is sent south to intercept them. On the 3rd of February our army in Morocco is once again attacked and prevented from moving south. Damn these tribesmen and their wily ways – they strike like demons on horseback and then fade away into the hills and dunes. It is time to try a new tack – we will move the army by sea.

On the 5th the Conneticut rebels move south and take Manhattan. Then a quite ridiculous setback as our fleet off Delta is driven away by a single Turkish galley and the landing of troops prevented. How on earth did a lone vessel prevail against so many English ships? Quite unreasonable if you ask me.

Then on the 7th of January the magnificent Poles re-take Pest. We summon the Tirpolitanian ambassador and tell him that his nation is now forfeit to the English crown. He spits on the floor at my feet – a quite obvious and deliberate insult to England and my own person, and so we have him clapped in irons. He will be hung by tomorrow’s dawn. Finally, we annex Tripolitania. Finally, the Holy Land is ours!
 

unmerged(1996)

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“Chancellor Cromwell.” The voice at his shoulder made Cromwell jump, knocking over the ink pot and spilling the contents across the page he was writing. Angrily, he turned, only to see the dark-cowled figure of the enigmatic Dr Dee at his elbow. How the devil? The door had not opened, he had been sure of it.
“My good Doctor.” Cromwell said, his face the statesman’s mask of perfect equanimity. He turned back to his desk and sprinkled sand across the spilt ink. “How can I be of service?”

“Jerusalem.” The sorceror intoned, his voice as dry and dusty as the crypt.

“Ah, yes. Our bargain.” Cromwell turned back, a small smile on his lips. “I don’t suppose you’d settle for a case of Burgundy instead, would you? Some cigars? Spanish, from Cuba. Very good…”

The Doctor did not seem amused. Cromwell sighed. “Very well. Here are your papers.” He reached into a desk drawer and pulled forth a sealed parchment which he passed to Doctor Dee. “These documents confirm the installation of one John Dee as the Governor of His Majesty’s provincial demesne of Samaria, including the Holy City and its environs. I trust you will be altering your appearance to suit your new role?” Dee nodded. Cromwell waited a moment, but nothing more was forthcoming. “And I don’t suppose you’d care to tell me exactly what it was you are planning on looking for over there, would you?”

Dee was again impassive as he stowed the documents away in his voluminous robe. Cromwell sighed again. This really was turning out to be far more vexing than he had hoped, not the triumphant victory he’d wanted after all. Liberator of Jerusalem! The English Crusader! Ah, well…

“If that is all…” Dee had already turned to leave.

“Actually, no.” said Cromwell. “Before you go, there is one more thing you could do for me…”

****

Princess Anne awoke from a dream of summer and strawberries to find the terrifying figure of John Dee looming over her bed. She screamed, but a hand – not Dee’s hand, another – clamped itself across her mouth. Her eyes swiveled until they came to rest on the face of her hated enemy, the murderer of her father, Charles Cromwell. She bit down, hard.

“Ow!” Cromwell snatched away his hand and then slapped it back across Anne’s face, bringing forth tears. This time she was too surprised to scream, and anger blazed in her eyes.

“How dare you – “

“Dee.” Cromwell ordered. The Doctor leant in, forcing Anne to shrink back into the pillows. A clawlike hand shot out from the end of his baggy sleeve and then his palm was pressed flat against her abdomen, and a chill burning spread through her…

“Well?” Cromwell snapped. The Doctor turned to regard him.

“She has been with child. It was carried to term.”

Cromwell nodded, as Anne lay suddenly still, fighting waves of revulsion, now too terrified to cry out.

“And the father?” demanded Cromwell.

“You.” The Doctor confirmed.

“Where is it now?”

Dee turned back to the bed, and transferred his hand from Anne’s stomach to her forehead. It was as if ice needles suddenly plunged into her eyes, a horrible twisting, scraping sensation within her head, and then, abruptly, it stopped.

“She does not know. The child was taken from her and then hidden by one of her servants. She does not even know which one did the deed.”

Cromwell let our an animal snarl of rage and frustration and, thrusting Dee out of the way, leant in close to Anne, his face but a scant inch from her own.

“Bitch.” He hissed. “Dare to oppose me and I will see you dead.. I have no son, it is the demon-spawn get of a temptress. If but a sniff of the brat turns up I will destroy both it and you! If word of any of this reaches the King, I will burn your house with you and all yours in it. And tell that boy-doxie of yours that if I see him I shall cut off his balls and feed them to him on the end of his bloody rapier. This I promise. Cross me not!”

He straightened up, adjusting his cravat. Then, with a last haughty sneer, he turned on his heel and left the room. Silence fell.

Dee lingered. When he was sure that Cromwell was out of earshot, he whispered;

“My lady. Fear not. The Chancellor does not know all. Continue with our plan, and I will write you from Jerusalem with further instructions. Go with your God.”

Anne, her eyes still wide with genuine fright, nodded once. Only when Dee too had gone did she allow herself the luxury of a sob.

Her crying did not last long. She had people to contact, wheels to set in motion, plans to make. That bastard Cromwell’s days were numbered, of this she was more sure than anything in her life. She would make him pay for his cruelty, aye, and the murder of her father, and she would see his soul burn in the blackest hell.

She would have her revenge.
 

unmerged(1996)

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Mar 19, 2001
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Narrative Team! Go! Go! Go!

Just remember, please, we're still building to the eventual climax in 1704. Nobody kills Cromwell off, nobody kills Princess Anne (in fact, nobody kills anybody else's characters...)

Have fun, and have a great weekend...
 

unmerged(3899)

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May 17, 2001
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huraaaaah!

At long last, another installment. I feel like a partched castaway getting their first drink. The wait was far too long . . .

Ariel, congratulations on reclaiming the holy land once and for all.

But stay, what is this? Back into the narrative, again. Nooooooo!
 

Barkdreg

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Originally posted by Ariel
Narrative Team! Go! Go! Go!

Just remember, please, we're still building to the eventual climax in 1704. Nobody kills Cromwell off, nobody kills Princess Anne (in fact, nobody kills anybody else's characters...)

Have fun, and have a great weekend...

What? No killing?
Oh dear me, poor old Barkdreg.:(
 

Sgt. Bloomfield

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Hey, Barkdreg: I am flattered that you are using my little rhyme (I got part of it elsewhere, btw) in your sig, but would you mind taking the third "r" out of Canterbury? Thanks, my little ruthless killer.