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phargle

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An AAR Without a Country

Andorra!

by robou and phargle

This is the story of Andorra.

This is also a lie. Andorra does not exist in this story. In the years that have already passed in the tale I will now relay, Andorra has not yet begun to exist. No, this is the story of me: Ben of Andorra, and the trials and tribulations I face during my struggle to become ruler of my homeland. I must be honest with you: I am not entirely sure what a tribulution is, but make no mistake: I will face several of them. Understand that lies are about to ensue. In my bloodline is one Rob of Andorra, a strange and bizarre little cleric - also a liar - who shares my goal, if not my commitment. Despite his inexplicable lack of handsome and rugged features, and despite his inability to tell the truth where I or Andorra are concerned, he has one thing I do not, and that is another seventeen years in which to find a bride and pass on our of Andorra genes. He has many skills. Chief among them is lying.

2.jpg


not a liar

Because I am so charming, they made me chancellor of Urgell. Why, God, why? Why did you make me so charming? If only I were less charming, I could be Diocese Bishop of Urgell, which is a fancy and hard-to-spell way of saying that I would rule Andorra.

What? You didn't know that rule? It's a little-known rule, yes, in part because it has not yet been invented. I invent it now! Simply put, the bishop of Urgell and the king of France share a very important duty: to tap that booty. Via their combined strength, they jointly govern Andorra. Imagine doing anything jointly with the king of France that doesn't involve being queen of France, and you will appreciate my conundrum. It's somewhat like a buddy movie - er, buddy tapestry - in which Phillip and I get into zany adventures while learning what's really important: one another. Well, he has that half right. I am very important. Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. . . in a very good disguise. Perhaps it is Rob, and not I, who will be made bishop of Urgell and thus rule Andorra and be queen to the king of France's . . . uh, king.

Speaking of Rob, where is that boy? Perhaps I shall write him a letter. That is, after all, at what chancellers are best: that and impeccable grammar.

Scullery maid! Fetch me a letter, a lacy apron, and a horse that knows the fastest way to Paris! Ben of Andorra has work to be done! Additionally, fetch me a scullery maid! Make sure to tell her how very handsome I am.
 

stnylan

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This could be sidesplitting :)
 

C'est Moi

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:eek:

(robou x phargle) + Andorra = I dunno, I'm functionally innumerate. :confused:

This looks like it'll be an awesome AAR!

I think that it might equal awesomeness^hilarity, which, if translated into purely numerical terms would simply destroy your mind with the size of it.
If you think you can handle it, look at the text below. If not, please just gloss over it.
Please note writing this has left me with a nose bleed and a broken arm.
That is how shocking this number is.



5 million
If you are still alive, congratulations.
 

phargle

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Those are some lovely mathematical formulas.

I went to GenCon, so I didn't get to post any feedbackettes last week. Here goes:

@C'est Moi: I think your mind can handle it. If not, we'll make it handle it. We have the technology. Your mind^technology. Just you wait and see.

@Morsky: It's also possible it will be an utter disaster. I have high hopes either way.

@stnylan: Word! It could be mind-splitting. It could be atom-splitting. I'ma drop BOMBS. I mean, uh, thank you for reading. I hope you like it. I hope robou writes very well and that you like it. robou, uh, help me out here. . .

@Raden Shaka: Collaborating? It's like a Vichy AAR! But who is the occupier? Frankly, I hope the AAR is full of any children at all, other than me and robou, but we'll see how it goes in gameplay.

@Enewald: Yeah.

@Llywelyn: You are correct! That's the best tagline: Andorra, the AAR! Well, different, anyway.

@Murmurandus: The lies you tell me are so hot.

<cracks whip> robou! Quick! To the Andorra-mobile!

<x-men theme song>
 

Kurt_Steiner

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Today, Andorra! Tomorrow, the world!

:D

Andorra is one of those few countries that you can get familiarized with in just a few days.
 

robou

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Andorra the Second​

Now, you see, there are several major truths one must come to understand. The first of these is quite simple, though hard to accept. Men lie. Women tend to be a lot more clean, but it is always very... very refreshing when you get one that is absolutely dirty, yes, perhaps due to a mud wrestle you have just watched and... *ahem* Like I said, Men lie a lot. Statistics way before their time and that I have most probably made up, men lie at least once everything three seconds. Oh wait, no, I think that was how often they think of sex, Understandable, I think you'll agree. As you can imagine, one gets to hear lots of different things during confession.

On that point, I am not so sure why I became a clergyman. I like to convince myself, often while dressed in my sister's garments, that it is because I am a beacon of truth in a world of liars. Of course, when I am in this state, I can get quite confused. Wait a second. Did I just freely admit to being a transvestite? Oh no, oh please no. Oh Jes... must... resist.... *exhale*. I suppose it is not dangerous as I am speaking to my subconcious thought. Though it begs me to think, what is my subconcious? WHO ARE YOU? I hope it is Christian Scott Thomas. Yay, mmm, yes. Woops, errhum, keep typing in character! *smile*. Ehehe. Sorry Christian... whoever you are.... Err, good name, Christian (change the damn topic you noob!).


1.jpg


What a saint :)

A-heh-nyway. The foremost of these liars is my brother; Ben. My elder brother, Ben of Andorra, to be precise. A confesso... informant had told me that he has already been talking to his subconcious strain. This is exactly what made me begin to think about my subconcious Chrisitian *cough* thoughts. But, as I was saying, I was told that he told his subconcious that I was a liar. Unfortunately, what he fails to see is that, on this earth, there is both the truth and God's truth. I tell the latter, and that states that he lied about me being a liar to he is a liar, take that! In your face! YEAAAH! *smacks a nearby cruxifix* LOGIC-FIVE *dramatic pause* WITH GOD! Hah. I mean, comeon. He is a chancellor for chris... go... he is a chancellor, durr. What do they do but tell lies to increase their own power. I mean, look at his stats. You know, I hate to be gamey, but he is overpowered in intrigue, which means being able to lie and get away with it. I must admit, were I not a priest, I'd be envious. However, I am not, as he is old and going grey. And he has no skill with women. Or Andorra. But both of those are stories for another day. Now where did I put my Scott Thomas stripping quill? T'ra for now!
 
Last edited:

unmerged(96639)

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He's an egomaniacal sex fiend with rugged good looks and impeccable diction.

(S)he's a gender-bending cross-dressing schizophrenic neophyte priest.

THEY FIGHT CRIME!

Awesome thus far. I wonder what trouble those two will stir up in Urgell and beyond. :)
 

stnylan

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The man is bewitched!
 

Murmurandus

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Rob is a little weird... just a little...:D
 

Kurt_Steiner

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Rob is a little weird... just a little...:D

He isn't weird. He's not a Cullen, but an "Of Andorra"

This is not weirdness! This is Andorraaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

:D