An AAR Spinoff - 'The Princess DiAARies'

[RossN]

Part I: Introduction

Hello and welcome to An AAR Spinoff - 'The Princess DiAARies'. The DiAARies are a spinoff from my ongoing (at time of writing), popular (if I do say so myself) AAR: Three Crowns: The first Munster AAR! . You will probably get a lot more out of the DiAARies if you read that first (or indeed continuously).

So what are the DiARRies?

The DiARRies are recovered fragments from the teenage diaries of the (fictional) Princess (later Queen) Caoimhe O'Donell of Munster:

Caoimhe (portrayed in this series by actress Rachael Leigh Cook)

Caoimhe is a popular character in the original AAR but due to the constraints of the passage of time in EU II she is already 33. Here I'm hoping to tell more day to day stories of her as a 16 - 18 year old (from about 1448 to 1450 for those keeping track of the timeline in Three Crowns) - sort of like Clueless meets Blackadder. Btw this intended as a comedy first and foremost so while there will be agnst don't expect it to overwhelm the story.

Events in the original AAR will of course be referenced but this is strictly speaking not an AAR. Remember it only covers a short amount of time and focuses on characters too young to be in the driving seat so don't expect world conquests, religous schisms or a 1000 elephants.

Well not at first anyway.

Next Up: The Cast

 

[RossN]

Part II: Cast (subject to last minute changes, spontaneous combustion and law suits)

Sorcha O'Neill, Countess of Tyrconnell, Princess of Ulster, Captain of the Girls Hurley team. Aged 16

(Played by Lacey Chabert).

Una O'Doran, Countess of Wicklow. Aged 16

(Played by Tamara Mello)

Trevina Kennedy, Countess of Ossory. Aged 16

(Played by Amanda Seyfried)

Caiomhe O'D- wait you've already met her. Our heroine.

Plus a cast of hundreds of nuns, monks, bards, poets, lake monsters, faeries, kings, princes, nobles, peasants and Scots.

Next: On with the story

 

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You've got me watching

 

[CatKnight]

:rofl: This should be interesting!

 

[unmerged(2900)]

I will be following this with delight. And we need more screenies of Caoilin

 

[th3freakie]

Yay! More Irish "babes" from RossN - this man is just too good for us.

 

[unmerged(19936)]

I think "Irish" should be in quotes and not babes.

I'll follow this one too

 

[RossN]

I think "Irish" should be in quotes and not babes.

I'll follow this one too

I was wondering about that myself...

First chapter up soon, probably tomorrow afternoon.

Do chuid

 

[th3freakie]

I think "Irish" should be in quotes and not babes.

I'll follow this one too

It was just a safeguard agaist being called a machist.

 

[RossN]

4th September 1448

Dear Diary,

Today is my last day as a 15 year old. Today I was a girl and tomorrow I shall be a woman! Watch out world!

Sorry, Una and me sneaked back some mead from the cellars and I’m feeling a little odd… never really drunk before.

Anyway Una and me went down to the beach today (it was bitchin weather as Mom always says) and we had a good time watching the young fit fishermen mess around with their boats. Una even whistled when this really cute one bent over to untangle a knot in one of his nets. How does she get away with that sort of thing? I’m much too shy… though it works for her: she has three boyfriends at the moment and I haven’t even kissed yet. Just when I’m talking to a really cute guy my tongue get all twisted and tangled and I never know what to say so it frightens them off. L

So we went down to that new fast food place in Cobh. Serves really exotic food from as far away as England! I only had a cabbage log since I’m dieting and veggie stew just goes right to your thighs but Una had a whole leg of mutton! Don’t know how she keeps her figure and you’d think she’d have ‘peasant-skin’ (ew!) eating all that meat but some girls have all the luck. I’ve been a weight-watching vegetarian for three years and I’m only just keeping pace. Oh and don’t get me started on her being an inch taller than me either! It’s not my fault we O’Donnell’s are petite. I know, I know maybe I should have gotten a shorter best friend and all but I’m about as short as you can go without being, you know, short. Besides we’ve grown up together and we borrow each other’s clothes, so you know I’m fine with it ok? We’re both going to the same boarding school next week anyway so we’ll need each other.

So I was down in Cobh like I said and I saw these way out black pumps that I totally wanted. They are just so adult and serious and… and… cool. But they cost 50d and, yeah I know, I know, Princess of Munster, only child, blah, blah but my allowance isn’t that high you know? Besides try getting a part-time job as a princess some time! Ok it’s kinda cool that you’re co-workers, are, like, totally afraid you’ll break a nail or something and have their head chopped off if they are sympathetic. Don’t have to worry about bullying. But, it’s also kinda bad, since you can’t really make friends and they don’t want to give you the bad jobs because they’re really scared of you so you end up doing nothing and going, like, insane with boredom. You know?

So Una said I should ask Daddy for the money and I kinda don’t want to what with the National Debt and all and I’m trying to become, you know, responsible and all that since I’m totally a woman. But they are totally bitching…

Owwie. My head hurts from the mead. Think I’ll sleep on it. I mean tomorrow I’ll be an adult and they totally know what to do right?

XXXXX
Caoimhe

Only 50d... That's like 5 months saving or something!


To be continued... (pending success)

Do chuid

 

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If Caoimhe hasn't yet been kissed, it's only because the guys are afraid of Caolin. You have captured airhead Valley girl speech frighteningly well.

 

[RossN]

If Caoimhe hasn't yet been kissed, it's only because the guys are afraid of Caolin. You have captured airhead Valley girl speech frighteningly well.

Hey! Caoimhe is NOT an 'airhead' - She is 'reality impared'.

Anyway don't worry, Our Heroine will get her first kiss soon.

Do chuid

P.S Oh and I sometimes believe that despite being a relatively normal 22 year old straight male I WAS a Valley Girl in a previous life - I have a worrying natural afinity for the lingo. :wacko:

Do chuid

 

[unmerged(19936)]

Hey! Caoimhe is NOT an 'airhead' - She is 'reality impared'.

Anyway don't worry, Our Heroine will get her first kiss soon.

Do chuid

P.S Oh and I sometimes believe that despite being a relatively normal 22 year old straight male I WAS a Valley Girl in a previous life - I have a worrying natural afinity for the lingo. :wacko:

Do chuid

Yes, you do have a disturbing way of perfectly writing for a 15 year old Irish princess... Is there something you'd like to tell us?

 

[RossN]

Yes, you do have a disturbing way of perfectly writing for a 15 year old Irish princess... Is there something you'd like to tell us?

Er, no... o

Caoimhe is a pretty, slightly spoiled, slightly neurotic, airhea- er, 'reality impaired' teenage girl.

I'm none of that.

Do chuid

 

[unmerged(29159)]

This is absolutely hillarious! I will be reading

 

[RossN]

5th September

Dear Diary,

OMG OMG OMG!!! I am a 16 year old now!!! A woman!!

So I woke up feeling, like, really bummed with a headache and all, but then things totally got better because I realised what day it was.

So Una and me were hanging out all morning, and she was like so jealous because her birthday isn't until October. But I'm not going to like treat her like a kid or anything because this is the new mature me. Oh she gave me this like rad friendship bracelet thing. We're so totally BFF.

So I got a new horse (from Daddy) a new silver necklace (from Mom) and the title Countess of Kerry (signed from Mitzy, my kitten but I totally know it was from Daddy. You know?). The horse (who I'm going to call Clover) is bitchen, the necklace is twitchen and the title is , like, totally the in thing.

Think I'll wait a while to ask about the pumps. I mean I'm not like greedy or anything and I don't want to seem totally spoiled. You know?

Cousin Tadc dropped by with his new wife Genevieve. She is, like, such a space cadet, a total airhead. She was there drooling all over him at the party and she told us to call her 'Gene'! Like, seriously 'Gene'? Fer shurr! And she thinks she's better than us Irish 'cause she's from like Burgundia in France. Whatever.

'Gene'. Ew.

Tadc was nice enough though. I mean sure he's a bit of a dork but I like best of my cousins and he gave me this like totally bitchen pair of clogs. He has totally bitchen taste for girls clothes, but not like his own.

Wonder why?

Ooh, I ate and drank a bit too much and I'm tottally buzzed right now. Better try and get some sleep so more later!

XXXXX
Caoimhe

Do chuid

 

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Hee hee. Good ol' alcohol. What would an Irish tale be without the cause and solution to all of life's problems? Remind me to send Caoimhe a case of Guinness for Christmas as a gift

 

[Zenek K.]

Tadc was nice enough though. I mean sure he's a bit of a dork but I like best of my cousins and he gave me this like totally bitchen pair of clogs. He has totally bitchen taste for girls clothes, but not like his own.

Wonder why?

:rofl:

Some people know...

 

[RossN]

6th September

Dear Diary,

So I went out riding Clover in the early morning. It was like totally romantic and stuff. I'd tied these bitchin yellow ribbons in my hair and it like totally came together as we galloped through the fields and woods. And one of the cute stableboys was totally giving me the eye and I was like 'Like a stableboy? Fer shurr!' and walked off.

Feel kinda guilty now.

So anyway I decided to pay a quick visit to my new County, so my subjects can, like, see what a cool new Countess they have. I have to get ready to go to my new school in 3 days so it'll just be an overnight trip.

7th September

8th Septmber

Dear Diary,

Sorry I left my diary at home by accident. o

So Kerry is totally cool. It's got like mountains and trees and beaches and stuff. Una is totally jealous - Wicklow is like so much less pretty than Kerry.

vs.

Kerry (r.) vs. Wicklow (l.)

So while I was passing through this little town called Tralee these peasants (ew!) like totally threw a party for me. So like I decided to totally give them a present to remember their Countess by. So I totally left these pansises I'd been wrapping round Clovers mane. They were totally jazzed!

Hmm, 'The Pansy of Tralee'... has a cool ring to it you know?

Oh so in other words I was talking to 'Gene' and she showed me these bitchin new black pumps that were the same ones I wanted!!! She had totally bought them while I was away!! Even though she totally must have known I wanted them! (I told Una , and she tells everyone, everything). Now I only have those stupid clogs Tadc gave to wear for new footwear at school. It really sucks you know?

At least I'm heading for Dublin and school tomorrow. Bye 'Gene', I'll like totally miss you!

Fer shurr!

XXXXX
Caoimhe



Next: School!

Do chuid

 

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They're both beautiful.