As far as I can work out, to auto-ally your vassals you need to be able to trace a route from your capital to theirs. The route can cross the sea, but not other countries (even your other vassals) and detached provinces don't count - it has to be capital to capital.
For example, as Austria I could ally with both vassal-Wuttemberg (border) and vassal-Pommerania (both of us have sea access), but not vassal-Palatinate, even though Pfalz had a border with a detached province of mine in Mainz.
Not sure how the "sea-route" works if the two countries are on different continents, though.
For example, as Austria I could ally with both vassal-Wuttemberg (border) and vassal-Pommerania (both of us have sea access), but not vassal-Palatinate, even though Pfalz had a border with a detached province of mine in Mainz.
Not sure how the "sea-route" works if the two countries are on different continents, though.