• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
I haven't done a mini-AAR in quite a long time. Additionally, my wife and 2/3 of kids will be gone for the next 7 days, leaving me with a shocking amount of free-time. In that time, I plan to crank out an epic adventure of madness, war and nitrate in the heart of South America. It is called "All Your Bird Poop AARe Belong To Us."

There are, of course, no jokes contained in this introductory post.

Game: HoI3 1.3 with noneutrality
Players: Single player
Style: 3rd person omniscent (picture heavy but most are very tiny)
IRL start date: 20 Novemer '09 at 10:30pm EST

Nation: Argentina
Start date: 1/1/1938
Starting level: Normal
Military control: AI at army level (with some exceptions)
Modifications: Just the noneutrality cheat
Goal: The Poop-Fields of Chile...then maybe Peru's and Bolivia's, if they get uppity.[/QUOTE]
 
Last edited:

Mico94

Lt. General
17 Badges
Feb 25, 2008
1.489
0
  • Darkest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Magicka
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris
  • Magicka: Wizard Wars Founder Wizard
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria 2
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
:rofl: it hasn't even started and I'm already laughing...
so no landships this time?
 

tuore

Caramelised Utopian
29 Badges
Mar 16, 2009
6.981
186
  • Crusader Kings II
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Supreme Ruler: Cold War
  • Semper Fi
  • Rome Gold
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • March of the Eagles
  • Magicka
  • Lost Empire - Immortals
  • The Kings Crusade
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Arsenal of Democracy
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria 2
  • 200k Club
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
How can you start 1/1 1938? '38 scenario starts from autumn.
 

Stuyvesant

Field Marshal
40 Badges
Dec 7, 2002
6.230
44
Visit site
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • The Showdown Effect
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Pride of Nations
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Achtung Panzer
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
Another Packer tale? And it's entirely structured around the conquest of guano, necessitating vast amount of poop jokes? Oh boy... Count me in. :)
 

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
What joke?

Indeed, what joke? Peekee, you are very confusing?

:rofl: it hasn't even started and I'm already laughing...
so no landships this time?

Awesome...let's hope that continues! (yeah, probably no landships)

How can you start 1/1 1938? '38 scenario starts from autumn.

Through the magic of storytelling.

Another Packer tale? And it's entirely structured around the conquest of guano, necessitating vast amount of poop jokes? Oh boy... Count me in. :)

Huzzah! Let the Poop-jokes begin!
 

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
1/1/1938 - 9/1/1938

It is January 1st, 1938. We look upon a peaceful beach scene. A man sits in a chair by the water, welcoming the New Year while soaking in the rays.

The Place: Antofagasta, Chile

The Man: President Roberto María Ortiz, known to the people of Argentina as “El Caudillo,” or “El Presidente.”


We join El Presidente on the beach, catching some rays and relaxing after a difficult year of oppressing dissent.

BeachBum.jpg



BeachBum1.jpg


BeachBum2.jpg




BeachBum3.jpg



*sing to the classic Don Ho tune ‘Banana Counter’



BeachBum4.jpg



BeachBum.jpg






And so, thing might have ended there, a peaceful vacation ending with El Presidente returning home rested, fit and tanned…ready to return to crushing the opposition and the little man under his cruel thumb…when Fate intervened.



BeachBum5.jpg




BeachBum6.jpg




And so, when things went wrong, our Hero was left alone.




BeachBum7.jpg





No one knows what exactly the bird had eaten, but whatever it was, it contained something hard. Small rocks? Weighty seeds? We don’t know. But the after-effects were serious. Our hero was struck square in the forehead, rendering him unconscious just as the wind shifted and the stench of guano covered the beach.

Perhaps the strangely localized brain damage was due to the impact from the bird’s poop? Maybe it was caused by inhaling all that methane? We don’t know. What we do know is what happened when El Presidente awoke.




BeachBum8.jpg




BeachBum9.jpg




BeachBum10.jpg




Roberto was no traditional mad-man. He kept his mania close to his chest, working slowly he tried to build up animosity towards Chile…holders of the sweet brown gold, but to no avail. All anyone wanted to talk about was the events in Europe. For 8 months his subtle machinations (such as: “Hey guys, wouldn’t it be great if we could get our hands on some natural Nitrate…sure would help the munitions industry, oh and agriculture”) had been met with, at best, indifference or, at worst, facts (such as ‘organic guano fertilizers are far more expensive and far less effective than manufactured ones’ or ‘no one wants to deal with the smell of poop-based explosives’).

El Presidente was done with gentle coercion. Now was the time to get those precious, precious Nitrates for the Motherland.


 
Last edited:

Stuyvesant

Field Marshal
40 Badges
Dec 7, 2002
6.230
44
Visit site
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • The Showdown Effect
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Pride of Nations
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Achtung Panzer
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
Good lord! When I prattled on about poop jokes, I didn't know things would take such a graphic turn... That image is going to stay with me for a long, long time (and I'm not talking about the Guano mountain or the crap-mad new El Presidente)...

Onwards, good sir! :D
 

Myth

Strategy Cognoscenti
Demi Moderator
29 Badges
Jul 8, 2005
7.277
6
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings III: Royal Edition
  • Crusader Kings III
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Age of Wonders III
  • Stellaris: Synthetic Dawn
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • BATTLETECH
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Knights of Pen and Paper 2
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • 500k Club
  • Semper Fi
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Deus Vult
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II
How bizarre! :D
 

Mico94

Lt. General
17 Badges
Feb 25, 2008
1.489
0
  • Darkest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Magicka
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris
  • Magicka: Wizard Wars Founder Wizard
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria 2
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
oh crap!
.
.
.
:D
 

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
oh crap!
.
.
.
:D

Hahaha...I like that!

How bizarre! :D

Yeah. I dunno...it is kind of weird.

Good lord! When I prattled on about poop jokes, I didn't know things would take such a graphic turn... That image is going to stay with me for a long, long time (and I'm not talking about the Guano mountain or the crap-mad new El Presidente)...

Onwards, good sir! :D

Great! And yeah, god what an awful picture. Its sitting on Wikipedia on the "Bird Guano" page. I was appalled, but then I figured "if its good enough for Wikipedia...I guess its good enough for me!"
 

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
1 September 1939 - 29 September 1940

It is now late 1939. Germany is at war with some 387 nations. None of them are in South America, so we’re not going to worry about that for now.

The Place: Buenos Aires, Argentina

The Man: President Roberto María Ortiz, known to the people of Argentina as “El Caudillo,” or “El Presidente.”


We join El Presidente back at work, furiously attempting to convince his countrymen of the danger of Chile. He is currently giving a speech to the Argentinean Parliament

ArgentinaCongress.jpg




“My fellow Argentinians! We can no longer ignore the blatant threats of our enemy to the West! Chile must be destroyed and we must secure, for all time, the precious, precious Nitrate fields. National Security Demands It!”



ArgentinaCongress1.jpg




ArgentinaCongress2.jpg




ArgentinaCongress3.jpg




ArgentinaCongress4.jpg




Spydoc1.jpg




Spydoc2.jpg




ArgentinaCongress5.jpg




ArgentinaCongress6.jpg





Roberto quickly agreed. It was easy to be magnanimous when you’d won. And Parliament didn’t know it, but he’d just won big.



A few months later, and Roberto had parlayed the ill-worded concession by Parliament into a new division, manned entirely by Professional, full time soldiers. He was almost giddy. Now, El Presidente sat down with Field Marshal Castano to plot strategies.



ElGeneral.jpg




“Now then, El Presidente, I have looked over our forces and come up with a solid, mutually supportive defense deployment with which to face our…uh…Chilean. *sigh* enemies.”



PlanA.jpg




“I call it Plan A. We have two Armies, 1st Army with 5 Infantry Divisions in 2 Corps face off against the Chilean capitol and against your beloved poop-fields. The stronger I Corps, with 3 divisions is ranged against the main Chilean defenses of Santiago.

In the North, the III National Guard Corps with its two Divisions will backup the main force of IV Assault Corps with the Mountain and Light Divisions, since the greatest threat is probably with our…”



OrtizHead.jpg




“What are you nuts? We can’t attack Chile from those positions!”



ElGeneral.jpg






“Why would we need to?”



OrtizHead.jpg




“What? My God, now wonder your plan was so bad! Don’t you understand what we’re doing here? We’re planning to attack Chile and seize the Great Bird Poop Mounds of Famagusta…for the Glory of Argentina!”



ElGeneral.jpg




“But we are only authorized to take defensive preparations!”



OrtizHead.jpg




“Didn't they teach you anything in General School? Haven’t you ever heard the Best Defense is a Good Offense…ive? Now, look here…” Roberto spread his own map over the General’s.



PlanB.jpg




“Now, this is a deployment. With 1st Army tasked with the Conquest of Chile. The first move, spearheaded by the new elite 9th Light Division, we should be in Famagusta before they even know we’re at war.”



ElGeneral.jpg




“Oh my God…you’re really…you’re really serious about this aren’t you.”



OrtizHead.jpg




“Oh quit the sour face, just because my idea was better! Haha…you Generals sure are a sensitive lot!”

 

unmerged(31881)

Field Marshal
Jul 13, 2004
2.882
1
Another war over guano?

Have you considered gathering allies? For such treasure, any sane leader would be willing to shed blood.
;)
 

Stuyvesant

Field Marshal
40 Badges
Dec 7, 2002
6.230
44
Visit site
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Magicka
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • The Showdown Effect
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Leviathan: Warships
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Warlock: Master of the Arcane
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Pride of Nations
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Achtung Panzer
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
Looks like you found yourself a serviceable, warmongering German to command your elite 9th Light Division. That alone makes me confident in the success of this operation... Er, this speculative, possibly upcoming operation, depending on further Chilean aggression... Poor, poor donkey...
 

noobermenschen

Everybody funny. Now you funny too.
20 Badges
Jul 18, 2006
3.842
1.574
  • Hearts of Iron III Collection
  • Hearts of Iron IV: La Resistance
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II
El Presidente's justifications for war have an aroma about them. :mad: Don't expect the rest of the world to be gulled into believing him.
 

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
El Presidente's justifications for war have an aroma about them. :mad: Don't expect the rest of the world to be gulled into believing him.

The force of your puns is unstoppable. :)


Looks like you found yourself a serviceable, warmongering German to command your elite 9th Light Division. That alone makes me confident in the success of this operation... Er, this speculative, possibly upcoming operation, depending on further Chilean aggression... Poor, poor donkey...

"Remember the Donkey" is the unofficial motto of 9th Light Division!

This is poopness! :eek:

No! This Is...well...actually, yeah...you're right.

Another war over guano?

Have you considered gathering allies? For such treasure, any sane leader would be willing to shed blood.
;)

They would. but then I'd have to share that sweet, sweet poop.


I quite agree. :D
 

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
29 September 1940 - 1 January 1941

It is now 1941. The world, hopefully, is distracted by Germany's crazyness.

The Place: The Chilean Frontier, Argentina

The Man: President Roberto María Ortiz, known to the people of Argentina as “El Caudillo,” or “El Presidente.”


We join El Presidente. He is standing alone, hands clasped behind his back, gazing off into Chile. His face, well, it is radiant.

OrtizHead-1.jpg




“This is it! Three years of pain, of suffering, of trickery. Finally. Finally, those fantastic mounds of guano shall be mine. Mine forever! Hahaha…AH-HAHAHAHA.” Roberto wiped a tear from his eyes as he recalled the events of the last few months. He recalled the times Parliament refused his requests for war. He recalled the fateful night he decided to ‘go underground’ with his plans. Ah, that went so well!



1940-12-05Draftinstituted.jpg




Such as convincing Parliament to launch a draft…you know…to keep the youth off the streets.



1940-12-05Warfootingeconomy.jpg




Or increasing military spending under the guise of ‘helping the economy.’



1940-12-07andnowtheUSAhasbiggerfish.jpg




Of course, the best part was when the United States joined the war against Germany.
This, Roberto thought, was an act of God. Now the U.S. would be too busy to screw around in Latin America!



1940-12-07awdontpayattentiontothatW.jpg




When the Chileans and Parliament bought the story that the mobilization of the reserves was just a training exercise, El Presidente was positively giddy.



1941-01-01bfakedborderincidentandth.jpg




So Roberto could be excused a satisfied little grin as he watched 9th Division’s tanks rolling towards the coast, for the Mountains of Bird Poop were in sight. He knew they’d be his.



meanwhile, back in Buenos Aires, Parliament is meeting to debate a bill to name the Argentine Horned Frog the Official Amphibian of Argentina, oblivious to the goings on at the Chilean border…until the U.S. Ambassador requested permission to address the August Body.


Frog1.jpg



Frog2.jpg




Frog3.jpg




Frog4.jpg




Frog5.jpg




Frog6.jpg




ArgentinaCongress.jpg




Frog7.jpg




 

Alfred Packer

Off Again
42 Badges
Jun 3, 2007
2.251
261
  • Rise of Prussia
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Mount & Blade: With Fire and Sword
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
1 January 1941 - 26 May 1941

It 26 May, 1941. Argentina is at War, with both Chile and with the Western Allies. This latter fact is going to come a something of a surprise to our hero, but he will handle it well.

The Place: Antofagasta, on the Chilean side of the border.

The Man: President Roberto María Ortiz, known to the people of Argentina as “El Caudillo,” or “El Presidente.”


We join El Presidente as he walks down the streets of Occupied Antofagasta, he is presiding over a ceremony to pin medals on the chests of the Heroes of 8. Infantry Division.

1941-01-08bshort3rdbattle.jpg



“Gentlemen! It only took you eight days to seize Fabled Antofagusta! And since then, you have held it against continuous counter-attacks. Well, that is over. Tomorrow, you move south. Today, you celebrate.



Review-1.jpg




Review-2.jpg




Review-3.jpg




A few hours later, we find El Presidente gazing happily at his latest acquisition.


DSCN5766-guano-glantz_crop_b.jpg




“Ah, look at that Field Marshal. Isn’t it a glorious sight?”



ElGeneral.jpg




“Does it always smell this bad?”



OrtizHead-1.jpg




Ortiz was lost in reverie. He replied, softly, “no Field Marshal. Only when the wind blows.” He wiped a tear from his eye.



ElGeneral.jpg




“Yeah. Anyway, sir, I must get going. ..”



1941-02-04dseriouslytheyrewholearmy.jpg




“…I’m leaving 9th Mountain Division to guard…well…these mountains.” The Field Marshal cringed at the thought. Poor mountaineers. “But, uh, the rest of us need to head south. We’re having trouble taking Santiago. In fact, there are reports of large Gringo forces guarding the city.”



OrtizHead-1.jpg




Would the Field Marshal never shut up? Roberto was getting annoyed. His special moment was being ruined. “Americans? Highly unlikely. Maybe some volunteers or something, but I can’t see why an American army would be in Santiago.” El Presidente snorted his derision as the Field Marshal ran off.



DSCN5766-guano-glantz_crop_b.jpg




“Ah yes…just me and my mountain…”



FelipeHead.jpg



“Sir! Sir!” Felipe was gasping for air as he ran up the trail. “It’s the Americans! They’ve declared war! And the Paraguaians, but that isn’t nearly as frightening!”



OrtizHead-1.jpg




“Intelligence Minister Felipe? What brings you all the way to Antofagusta?”



FelipeHead.jpg



“A very angry Parliament. It seems, El Presidente, that you’ve bitten off more than you can chew this time. We’ve already launched an invasion into Paraguay, they won’t last long. But the Americans…”


OrtizHead-1.jpg




Ortiz scoffed at the notion. “Bah, the Americans? They never do anything. I expect they’re whole army is sitting in Washington right now.”



FelipeHead.jpg




Felipe was annoyed. “This is serious sir! You’ve defied the Constitution, you’ve defied Parliament, you’ve defied common sense and for what? Shit Mountain? You are a Mad-Man!”



OrtizHead-1.jpg




Ortiz rounded on Felipe, furiously, “you can insult me, you can insult Argentina, but you can never…NEVER...insult the Guano Mounds, they are going to save our industry! They are going to make us the dominant force in Latin America…no! In the World!”



FelipeHead.jpg




“But the Americans…”



OrtizHead-1.jpg




“Oh shut up about the Americans already…mark my words there is no way, NO WAY, they are going to come all the way down to Argentina. We are home free Felipe, I promise you.



Meanwhile, off the coast of Bahia Blanca, Argentina’s 2nd largest port.

dday2.jpg