- Jan 26, 2005
It was the end of 1399 and the might viking warrior Ivar the Terrible was bored out of his mind. While women swooned at the merest glance of his awesome visage and the earth trembled and flinched at the awesomeness of him flexing his massive manly muscles, he-
No. No, we're not doing that.
I have to deal with this enough from Ivar. I'm not going to sit idly by and put up with it from you. You're the narrator. You're supposed to be impartial. Now start over.
Fine. Snooty know-it-all aide character. *mutters* You'd think this was a humor AAR or something.
What was that?
Ivar, the illegitimate bastard son of the King of Denmark, was bored. Oh sure, he'd been sent into the army.. and then when he didn't get along with his superiors, the navy by the King to hide his shame of Ivar, but that didn't bother Ivar at all. There were two things Ivar did well... drinking and fighting, so that suited him fine. Besides, if Ivar was smart enough to realize why he was in the navy in the first place, the King probably wouldn't have been as ashamed of him as he was.
Did I mention he was good at drinking and fighting?
Well, you asked.
...Did I mention he was good at drinking and fighting?
Aren't you going to interrupt me?
You yelled at me the last time. Why would I want to do that again?
Oh for the love of.. *rubs temples*
Fine, fine. Ivar wasn't just good at drinking and fighting, they were quite possibly the only two things he was good at. He liked to boast that he was good at a third thing, but ask any of the whores he'd bedded and they'd disagree with him. So, since I've already been scolded for exaggerating once before, we'll just say those are the two things he's good at.
Unfortunately for Ivar, though, he was quickly running out of ale and things to punch. Not to mention the number of women who hadn't heard of his.. "prowess" was quickly dwindling in the area. So while he was drinking with his friends, he did what any good Dane does when drunk.. he dreamt of viking glory. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on if you're Ivar or not, Ivar had the resources at his disposal to act out those delusions.
So he decided to get some ships together with his friends from the army and after enough ale to drown a whale, go do some good old fashioned pillaging. The last thing Ivar remembered was how good the ale tasted when they were out on the Skragglerock and someone saying they were out of ale. That would not do!
Some time later...
Oh god, my head. What did I do last night?
Last night? Sir, the last time you had anything resembling what you consider coherent thought was a few days ago.
Is that you, Larry?
Yes, unfortunately, I'm still here with you, serving as instructed by your father at your side. And for the last time, it's Harold.
Same thing, innit? Ooh, who's this I feel by me? Maybe it was worth it.
...That's me, you twit. Stop that and get yourself together.
Oh god. What now, is my father upset or something? God my head hurts.
Nooo.. I wouldn't say that your father's upset, no.
Then why in the bloody hell are you waking me up? It can't be anything later than dawn, why are you being so damned persistent?
God.. please, I'm begging you. Just strike me down and end this.
Oh stop being so dramatic, Peter. If my father's not upset then there's nothing to really worry about then, is there? But, if you insist.. get me something for my head and tell me why in the hell you're waking me up so early. It can't be that bad, can it?
OOC: So I decided since Havetescrap's (sp) incredibly gorgeous Whole World Mod has so many new provinces added in, that I'd mod in a good old fashioned viking country. ...Except I kind of failed to realize just how low the income would be and wow has it been a struggle so far. I haven't decided at what interval I'll update, but I've played 5 years or so.
This' basically just a test for me to get me used to taking screenies on a regular basis and not cheating as much while I work on ideas for a more serious, story-based AAR.
I'll admit I have cheated a couple of times so far, just to give myself a little bit of gold to last me a year or so without adding a lot. OPMs are expensive!
I'm not exactly optimistic about how long my little nation will survive, so to at the very least ensure that the game will be interesting to me even if I die, I turned off Lucky Nations then boosted some nations to see what they'd do.
The Lucky Ones:
They're all landlocked and pagan (with the exception of Tibet, which was chosen because the Horde don't last long in asia with Ming around), far from Europe, so they shouldn't be affecting the main game for awhile. Each was given 10 of each tech level, 5000 shiny new ducats and a level 2 capital province with all the bells and whistles in terms of special buildings.
They'll probably last longer than I will, though I'm not doing so badly. I haven't been DOWed yet in 5 years at least. Who knows how long my little Isle of Mann nation of Mannatees will last?