Just to be perfectly clear:
I take no responsibility for this.
I did not do this. Paradox studios did this.
First, Paradox studios decided to let me have +70 opinion with my male vassals, from Master Seductress + Court Vixen + Seduction focus.
Then, they made it extremely attractive to have a series of husbands with claims on foreign titles, while being serviced by a lubovnik harem of geniuses, spawning genius claimants upon those titles who, as half-brothers, can elect each other once one has fulfilled his claim.
Then, Paradox studios set the chances of contracting syphilis so high for female seduction, I've gotten it three times on two characters.
Then, naturally, they made syphilis drive you insane, spawning Glitterhoof.
Because of the sexual diplomacy penalty of becoming one-legged after curing the first bout of syphilis, coupled with the attraction penalty from Lunatic and the second bout of syphilis, Paradox studios left me with no recourse to re-stabilize the realm, but to employ the emergency policy of spreading my remaining leg for all of my vassals.
Yes - all of them.
And this brings us to Glitterhoof.
Why would God make mount Everest, if He didn't want it to be climbed?
After ensnaring all of the geniuses, and all of the vassals, what else is there to be overcome? Where is the final conquest, once you've planted every flag in your soil, from sea to sea?
Paradox studios answered this question. Behold, Glitterhoof in his golden armor, like the sun over the horizon, shining too over Atlantis, yet unconquered. Strong and attractive - what a stallion!
It's true - I did manage to chance upon Glitterhoof alone in the kitchen, when he came down for his usual late night snack. We did talk and laugh for hours (how?) and I could tell that the attraction was growing, yes.
But, hoping I'd read him correctly, I absolutely did not lean in to whisper in his ear...
and brush my lips against his ear, and breathe out softly, An unfailing trick of seduction.
You did this.
You put this horse in my kitchen.
You did this, and you made me do this, and you should be ashamed.
Frankly, Jack Thompson was right about video games, and he should be rebarred, so he can sue you personally.
All of this should represent a unique category of scandal.
I take no responsibility for this.
I did not do this. Paradox studios did this.
First, Paradox studios decided to let me have +70 opinion with my male vassals, from Master Seductress + Court Vixen + Seduction focus.
Then, they made it extremely attractive to have a series of husbands with claims on foreign titles, while being serviced by a lubovnik harem of geniuses, spawning genius claimants upon those titles who, as half-brothers, can elect each other once one has fulfilled his claim.
Then, Paradox studios set the chances of contracting syphilis so high for female seduction, I've gotten it three times on two characters.
Then, naturally, they made syphilis drive you insane, spawning Glitterhoof.
Because of the sexual diplomacy penalty of becoming one-legged after curing the first bout of syphilis, coupled with the attraction penalty from Lunatic and the second bout of syphilis, Paradox studios left me with no recourse to re-stabilize the realm, but to employ the emergency policy of spreading my remaining leg for all of my vassals.
Yes - all of them.
And this brings us to Glitterhoof.
Why would God make mount Everest, if He didn't want it to be climbed?
After ensnaring all of the geniuses, and all of the vassals, what else is there to be overcome? Where is the final conquest, once you've planted every flag in your soil, from sea to sea?
Paradox studios answered this question. Behold, Glitterhoof in his golden armor, like the sun over the horizon, shining too over Atlantis, yet unconquered. Strong and attractive - what a stallion!
It's true - I did manage to chance upon Glitterhoof alone in the kitchen, when he came down for his usual late night snack. We did talk and laugh for hours (how?) and I could tell that the attraction was growing, yes.
But, hoping I'd read him correctly, I absolutely did not lean in to whisper in his ear...
and brush my lips against his ear, and breathe out softly, An unfailing trick of seduction.
You did this.
You put this horse in my kitchen.
You did this, and you made me do this, and you should be ashamed.
Frankly, Jack Thompson was right about video games, and he should be rebarred, so he can sue you personally.
All of this should represent a unique category of scandal.
Last edited:
Upvote
0