Chapter six
I hit the big red button (no, not the mobilization big red button, the annexation big red button, pay attention to detail), and the word goes out. China is annexed. All 200 million plus Chinese now answer directly to the Shogun and the Emperor and, hence, indirectly to me. Nothing can stop me now, do you hear me,
...
In the midst of gloating, I am interrupted by a nameless minion, who, looking slightly nervous, stands before my comfy chair. He informs me that he has the latest economical forecast showing the prosperity of the Empire now that China has voluntarily signed up on the side of right, i.e. the winning side. He explains to me that, immediately following conquest, the court has decided to reign in educational and crime fighting spending to cut costs. Well, that is fair enough, expenses HAVE been rather high, what with having to support about a hundred and fifty divisions in the field, and the prewar treasury has been mostly eaten up by war expenses. It might be a good idea to disband, say, twenty or thirty divisions. He explains to me that due to the incompetence of the Chinese leadership, every single Chinese province, all hundred and twenty or hundred and thirty of them (nobody ever really cared enough to make an accurate tally - the sloth!) suffer from rampant corruption, such as mafias, trusts, and so on and so forth, nearly every vice available, but that does not really surprise me: Amateurs all, if you must have crime, it must be organized - and answer to the evil overlord. Otherwise, it is such a waste of talent. He tells me that the price of extending the social reforms to China is not negligible - well, with 200 million people, who does he think he is surprising? He tells me that the Divine Servitors recently yanked up the price of several services such as education, crime fighting, social reforms, military upkeep &etc a bit, nothing to be worried about, just minor increases.
So I tell the minion to get on with it. I am a reasonable man. I do not kill and horribly mutilate people who take sensible cost-saving measures, nor am I surprised by the corruption of the human soul in China, nor by the Divine Servitors ever increasing costs. Money is plentiful, after all, and they have never, ever, liked that. Real skinflints the bunch of them. Nevertheless, I am getting this sneaking suspicion that the projected surplus is going to be less than expected, perhaps even down to pre-war levels for a few months, so I tell him to show me the money. Well, the budget, but you know what I mean.
That is... Interesting... I perform some quick mental calculations showing the ACTUAL increase in spending, IF the Empire was to keep its standards, rather than lowering them as court has done. The results are... Disheartening. But I can take it. I always remain calm, and in control. Suure.... Sure, a nagging budget deficit can happen. I am sure there is a rational explanation, and that China will turn profitable in no time. I am in full control of myself. I do not feel homicidal. I am serene. I am floating on a cushion of fire. I gaze beyond the infinite. I am on holiday. Nothing here really matters. I can take it philosophically. AND MY PHILOSOPHY IS ANGER! KILL THEM ALL! I WANT THEM DEAD. EVERY SINGLE CHINESE! AND the messenger. And his extended family, and EVERY person and sheep he ever loved. Raze the Palace of the Economists to the ground and sow the grounds with salt, hang the carcasses of the capitalists high, BURN ASIA, BURN, and rue the day you challenged me.
I take a deep breath and take a long look at my command staff, gauging how many of these orders they have managed to communicate. The charred form of the messenger and the corpses of my two staff economists (hung, not hanged, I notice to my displeasure - what incompetence!) tells me that they have surely started.
Ah, well. Nothing to it. That minor outburst was unfortunate, it is true, but I am now firmly in control again. Time for damage control. I let my claws and hooks burst through my skin, and in an orgy of blood and destruction I shred the command staff. They may have been loyal, the sods, though likely they were just waiting for an opportunity to turn on me, but an evil overlord really cannot keep staff around that has witnessed even the most minor character flaws, and I have always preferred the natural solution to reductions in force.
It cuts down on the paperwork. Literally.
I order the fires to be put out in China before they burn too much, and send a message to human resources that I need a new command staff. Again.
And, lest anybody think I am cowed, rest assured that this minor setback will not impact my long term plans. All evil overlords suffer minor setbacks from time to time, and anyone who does not take it philosophically is not long for this world. Indeed, if you think this is bad, I can assure you that I can do worse....
Disclaimer: Any and all functionality described in this AAR may, or may not, have changed by the time Victoria is released. Much of it changes between sessions, as certain minor loopholes are closed or inconsistencies remedied.
MUAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BWABAAAWAAAAAAAAA!
I hit the big red button (no, not the mobilization big red button, the annexation big red button, pay attention to detail), and the word goes out. China is annexed. All 200 million plus Chinese now answer directly to the Shogun and the Emperor and, hence, indirectly to me. Nothing can stop me now, do you hear me,
NOTHING!!!!
...
In the midst of gloating, I am interrupted by a nameless minion, who, looking slightly nervous, stands before my comfy chair. He informs me that he has the latest economical forecast showing the prosperity of the Empire now that China has voluntarily signed up on the side of right, i.e. the winning side. He explains to me that, immediately following conquest, the court has decided to reign in educational and crime fighting spending to cut costs. Well, that is fair enough, expenses HAVE been rather high, what with having to support about a hundred and fifty divisions in the field, and the prewar treasury has been mostly eaten up by war expenses. It might be a good idea to disband, say, twenty or thirty divisions. He explains to me that due to the incompetence of the Chinese leadership, every single Chinese province, all hundred and twenty or hundred and thirty of them (nobody ever really cared enough to make an accurate tally - the sloth!) suffer from rampant corruption, such as mafias, trusts, and so on and so forth, nearly every vice available, but that does not really surprise me: Amateurs all, if you must have crime, it must be organized - and answer to the evil overlord. Otherwise, it is such a waste of talent. He tells me that the price of extending the social reforms to China is not negligible - well, with 200 million people, who does he think he is surprising? He tells me that the Divine Servitors recently yanked up the price of several services such as education, crime fighting, social reforms, military upkeep &etc a bit, nothing to be worried about, just minor increases.
So I tell the minion to get on with it. I am a reasonable man. I do not kill and horribly mutilate people who take sensible cost-saving measures, nor am I surprised by the corruption of the human soul in China, nor by the Divine Servitors ever increasing costs. Money is plentiful, after all, and they have never, ever, liked that. Real skinflints the bunch of them. Nevertheless, I am getting this sneaking suspicion that the projected surplus is going to be less than expected, perhaps even down to pre-war levels for a few months, so I tell him to show me the money. Well, the budget, but you know what I mean.
A Comparative Study of Budgets
That is... Interesting... I perform some quick mental calculations showing the ACTUAL increase in spending, IF the Empire was to keep its standards, rather than lowering them as court has done. The results are... Disheartening. But I can take it. I always remain calm, and in control. Suure.... Sure, a nagging budget deficit can happen. I am sure there is a rational explanation, and that China will turn profitable in no time. I am in full control of myself. I do not feel homicidal. I am serene. I am floating on a cushion of fire. I gaze beyond the infinite. I am on holiday. Nothing here really matters. I can take it philosophically. AND MY PHILOSOPHY IS ANGER! KILL THEM ALL! I WANT THEM DEAD. EVERY SINGLE CHINESE! AND the messenger. And his extended family, and EVERY person and sheep he ever loved. Raze the Palace of the Economists to the ground and sow the grounds with salt, hang the carcasses of the capitalists high, BURN ASIA, BURN, and rue the day you challenged me.
I take a deep breath and take a long look at my command staff, gauging how many of these orders they have managed to communicate. The charred form of the messenger and the corpses of my two staff economists (hung, not hanged, I notice to my displeasure - what incompetence!) tells me that they have surely started.
Ah, well. Nothing to it. That minor outburst was unfortunate, it is true, but I am now firmly in control again. Time for damage control. I let my claws and hooks burst through my skin, and in an orgy of blood and destruction I shred the command staff. They may have been loyal, the sods, though likely they were just waiting for an opportunity to turn on me, but an evil overlord really cannot keep staff around that has witnessed even the most minor character flaws, and I have always preferred the natural solution to reductions in force.
It cuts down on the paperwork. Literally.
I order the fires to be put out in China before they burn too much, and send a message to human resources that I need a new command staff. Again.
And, lest anybody think I am cowed, rest assured that this minor setback will not impact my long term plans. All evil overlords suffer minor setbacks from time to time, and anyone who does not take it philosophically is not long for this world. Indeed, if you think this is bad, I can assure you that I can do worse....
MUAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BWABAAAWAAAAAAAAA!
MUCH WORSE!
Disclaimer: Any and all functionality described in this AAR may, or may not, have changed by the time Victoria is released. Much of it changes between sessions, as certain minor loopholes are closed or inconsistencies remedied.
