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Sergeant
Jul 1, 2006
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0
EuropaIreland.jpg
Word...​


So, this will be my first Europa Universalis 3 AAR. I had a few EU2 AARs, but none of them really went well considering I lost everything on my computer when it crashed right in the middle of the AARs. lol. So, this will be very interesting, considering that, in my opinion, getting a unified Ireland is about as hard to do as anything else. So, with that in mind, I will try my hardest and not get disapointed if it takes me 100 years to do it. lol. Anyways, a few rules...

1. I will be playing as Leister, as it has the Harp, and the Harp is freakin awesome.

2. The difficulty will be on easiest. I want a fun game, not a death match.

3. No cheating of any sort, including reloads.

4. No quitting on the AAR (although it may take the AAR a long time to finish, as my computer kinda runs Europa a lil slow)

So, yeah, thats about it. I will be beginning the AAR soon, so be ready.

Yeah......ummm..........

BRILLIANT!
 

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Sergeant
Jul 1, 2006
65
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Chapter 1: Dublin....BRILLIANT!

Chapter One
Dublin....BRILLIANT!​

Dublin.jpg
Comming soon to the city of Dublin​



"YOU DON'T KNOW THE HISTORY OF YOUR OWN COUNTRY! WHAT KIND OF IRISHMEN ARE YOU?" asked Morgan, one of the Brewmasters of the St. James Gate Brewery in Dublin, Ireland (The greatest city in Europe). "Well, excuse me for not sucking up to our history teacher, Mr. "Oh, professor O'Fennel, you're sooooo smart...and good looking too!"" replied Meaghan, the other. "Well, until you know the history of our great nation, I am not going to allow you the priveledge of enjoying the world's finest brewed beverage." Now, ordinarily denying an Irishmen his Guinness will land you a one way ticket to the pine box. However, Meaghan considered what his friend was telling him. "Morgan, I have just had an idea! If I know the history of our great and glorious land, then maybe I can enjoy my Guinness that much more!" "Enjoying Guiness more...BRILLIANT!" "Then, let the lesson of our great nation begin!"

We shall start in the year 1453....Don't ask why, it just seems like a good year for things to begin. Now, as you can probably remember, Leinster, in southern Ireland, was the father of our great country. However, back then, Leinster was nothing more than a freakle on the cheek of the world. Here, let me show you a picture, which I just so happen to have right here!

Ireland1453.jpg
Leinster in 1453​

Now, at the time, Donnchadh was the King of Leinster...but he wasn't at all brilliant....So, he died, and a new King was crowned. This King was to be one of the greatest Kings of Ireland, but we will get to that later. His name was Cathaoir I. He was a military genius, can was reputed to be able to consume 17 pints of beer in under 59 seconds!
............
............
............
............
............
............
BRILLIANT!

Yes, yes, it was BRILLIANT! Now, with the rise of this new King came a new sense of purpose to the people of Leister, all 2000 of them. They began to dream of an Ireland united, not divided. So, Cathaoir began the ambitious program of expanding his influence across Ireland, and the rest of Europe as well. He was able to obtain Royal Marriages with Connaught, Scotland, Munster, Tyrone, Burgundy, and Brittany. He was even able to Ally Leinster with two of the other powers in Ireland, Tyrone and Munster!

Now, Leinster was no more powerful than any of the other kingdoms in Ireland...save for Leinster's love for beer, which was unmatched, and is still unmatched, in all the world. So, Cathaoir set out to change this by doubling the size of his military from 1000 to 2000 soilders. Half Infantry, and half Cavalry. He also brought....

Wait a tick! He had an army of 2000 soilders, correct?

Yes.

And Leinster had a population of 2000 people, correct?

Yes.

That doesn't seem to make sense!?!

Well, ummm, Some of the soilders were ghosts.

Cathaoir was able to summon the dead to fight for him?

Yeah, sure....

BRILLIANT!

Ok........anyway, like I was saying Cathaoir brought in a military expert who had fought in the Hundred Years War for France. His name was Jean-Philippe de Broglie, and he was to serve as the chief military advisor to the King. Now, all Cathaoir needed was a target. Dublin was decided as the best suited target, since the English, (spit), were in control of the city. However, England was allied with Portugal at the time, so if war was to occur, it was going to be rather, shall we say, risky.

Do you think that stopped Cathoir?

HECK NO!

Cathaoir declared war on England and Portugal on 26 May, 1455. However, instead of comming to his aide, his two allies in Ireland abandoned him! Undetered, Cathaoir led his army to the walls of Dublin and laid seige to the city. There was no resistance from England, or Portugal, outside of the city, and Cathaoir seemed to be handling the siege quite well, always setting aside time for a nice brewsky. Because of this, Tyrone, Munster, and Connaught all offered Leinster a military alliance. Cathaoir happily agreed, and Ireland was unifed under once alliance! On January 1, 1456, Cathaoir finally marched into Dublin and took control of the city. This was a monumentus occasion, as Dublin was the most populous city in Ireland!

Over the next year Portugal landed 5000 troops into Ireland. Cathaoir, who only had his 2000 troops, was little worried about these Iberian sea dogs, and marched against them. In 5 sperate battles Cathaoir and his men fought bravely against the Porteugesse army, and won every single time! Most say it was the beer that gave his army strength. I tend to aggree with this statement.

Beer giving strength?

Yes, Liquid Courage, some call it!

BRILLIANT!

Alright, enough already, hold ur Brilliance till the end...

Now, the war continued on through 1456, and on 4 February, 1457, the English diplomats arrived in Dublin to offer Cathaoir a treaty ceding Dublin and the surrounding area to Leinster. Cathaoir agreed, and peace was signed. Here, here is a map!

Peaceof1457.jpg
Peace of 1457​

And so, with that, Leinster double its size, trippled its population, and had a strong alliance across the island. However, what happens next is even more exciting.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
Ok, you can say it now.

BRILLIANT!

to be continued
 

unmerged(62343)

Spectre of Battle
Nov 4, 2006
2.564
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Cathaoir was able to summon the dead to fight for him?

Yeah, sure....

BRILLIANT!

Beer giving strength?

Yes, Liquid Courage, some call it!

BRILLIANT!

Okay, what can I say but "Brilliant". :rofl: Now everytime I see those Guiness commercials I am going to start laughing histaracly and my wife will think I've lost my mind.

On a more serious note, I like the way your telling this story. It is very well done and easy to follow. Mind you that doesn't mean simple. Keep it up, I'm subscribed. ;)
 

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Field Marshal
Dec 25, 2006
2.590
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I didn`t see any Irish AAR before, subscribed - very funny stuff. Your style remind me 'Brilliant Kid' from excellent english comedy tv show - 'Fast show' am I right ?
 

coz1

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That was impressive, beating back the Portugeuse with a smaller army. And strange that the English did not do anything to keep you from taking Dublin. But ti worked out. Brilliant! Keep it up.
 

Eber

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Great job, I always enjoyed the Guiness commercials and so naturally I enjoyed reading the first chapter. I'm quite surprised, like coz, that England didn't do anything. Great start!
 

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bring the game home!
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thrashing mad said:
I didn`t see any Irish AAR before, subscribed - very funny stuff. Your style remind me 'Brilliant Kid' from excellent english comedy tv show - 'Fast show' am I right ?
Just to plug my own work, there's the Play Irish Misty for Me AAR, although for me Dublin came last.

As for gaining it right off, BRILLIANT! :cool:

-Pat
 

unmerged(59737)

Strategos ton Exkoubitores
Aug 9, 2006
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This reminds me of a MrT AAR a long time ago when, for a while, he wrote his country as Smithwicks instead of Éire.
 

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Recruit
Feb 25, 2007
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Great work

I'm new to EU3, and I've got to admit that this is the first AAR that I've read. Thanks to this AAR, I'll be reading a whole lot more of em. Outstanding storytelling, loved your work ;)
 

billy bob

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I think this aar is quite excellent. BRILLIANT!!! if you will.
 

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Corporal
Feb 20, 2007
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Ah you beat me to it for an Irish unity AAR. Ah well good luck. It's especially fun when you do unite the country. England becomes very interested in Meath again.
 

Storey

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Paynetrain08 said:
Dublin, Ireland (The greatest city in Europe).

Enjoying Guiness more...BRILLIANT!

Well I didn't make it to Dublin when I visited Ireland but I did become an admirer of Guiniess! :D So why did the English (spit) leave you alone? Were they at war with someone else or just lazy

Joe
 

Avarri

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/subscribed
been lurking for awhile now and I must admit I'm loving this AAR
keep it up =)
 

unmerged(58564)

Sergeant
Jul 1, 2006
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Grayghost- Thankyou for the encouragement. And, it's ok, my mom looks at me weird whenever I laugh hysterically at Guinness comercials.

Thrashingmad- Never heard of that show...hmmm...but thanks for your post! It was encouraging.

Coz1- Thanks! I will explalin what was going on with the English in a second. lol.

Eber- Ok, the story on the English at the time, which I should have mentioned, was that they were at war with France, and London, East Anglia, and Kent were all rebel controlled. So they had bigger fish to fry. All I had to deal with was Portugal, who only landed 1000 troops at a time, and i beat them back each time. It just added up to 5000. So yeah, basically, I used the rebels to my advantage. I must say that was BRILLIANT!

Lord Finnish- Me too!

pjcrowe- Yes, READ pjcrowes WORK! It is very good!

Fulcrumvale- Hmmm...nvr read it. lol

Weldon- That makes me feel all warm and tingly on the inside! :)

billy bob- Thanks!

RIPP-n-WIPE- Sorry about beating u to it. lol

Storey (joe)- Guinness is BRILLIANT! That's pretty much why i'm doing this AAR in this style, but yeah, the English (spit) were occupied. lol

HannibalBarca- Thanks! and soon, soon... lol.

Avarri- Thanks, and I will!
 

unmerged(11600)

bring the game home!
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Paynetrain08 said:
Eber- Ok, the story on the English at the time, which I should have mentioned, was that they were at war with France, and London, East Anglia, and Kent were all rebel controlled. So they had bigger fish to fry. All I had to deal with was Portugal, who only landed 1000 troops at a time, and i beat them back each time. It just added up to 5000. So yeah, basically, I used the rebels to my advantage. I must say that was BRILLIANT!
BRILLIANT indeed! I've spent a lot of cash on formenting rebellion in England, and still haven't anything to show for it. :(

-Pat
 

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Captain
Nov 6, 2006
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I have always wanted to see one of these.
 

crusaderknight

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Success, humour, beer, BRILLIANT!!! You've got yourself another reader, laddie! :cool: