Chapter 21
With the riches of Egypt flowing into the Spanish treasury Enrique and Katherine were happy for several years. Financial disruption arrived again, however, from an unexpected source -- Italy. Enrique in years past had very shrewdly gained control of the Italian clothing markets by direct conquest. The designers, resentful of lost income, struck back with the most powerful weapon at their disposal -- changing fashion styles. Wealthy men throughout Western Europe were stunned to hear that the beautiful dresses their lovely wives had worn were suddenly oh so passe; only a truly uninformed or naive woman would continue to wear such gauche and outdated fashions as those.
Katherine, being neither uninformed nor naive, tearfully pleaded with Enrique for permission to buy a new wardrobe. When Enrique resisted, she implored him, saying "What shall I do then? Walk around naked?" Now Enrique loved his pretty wife with or without clothes, but he conceded that the latter option was only appropriate in private settings, Katherine being no Lady Godiva.
So he grudgingly admitted that something would have to be done. Meanwhile, it was time for them to take a cruise, and because Katherine was too ashamed to wear her out of fashion clothes within Europe, they agreed to a cruise along the Nile in Spain's newly acquired territory in Egypt.
Enrique, as he had done many times before, looked for a fish in the silvery moonlight reflecting on the river one evening. When he saw a fish leap out of the water and perform a graceful flip before diving back in, he called out:
Fishy, fishy in the Nile,
Kathy's clothes are out of style.
I heard her tell me this with dread;
I fear that troubles lie ahead.
Now Kathy needs to buy some dresses,
Coats, hats, shoes and more excesses.
But I'm running low on cash,
I could go bankrupt in a flash.
The fish popped out of the water once more and answered him:
O King, there is more gold for you;
Just travel southward from Chimu.
Provide your men with rum and brandies
As they journey down the Andes.
There dwell a people called the Inca;
Fight them well, and they will drink a
Bitter potion of defeat.
Your wealth of gold will be complete.
The prospect of more gold sounded very promising to the king, so he eagerly awaited the end of the cruise and the return to Madrid. Once there, he gave the necessary orders to his generals, and after a long campaign, the once proud Inca Empire was totally destroyed and absorbed into Spain, along with heaps and heaps of gold rivaling even the riches of the Aztecs nearly a century before.
With this mountain of gold flowing into Madrid, Enrique told Katherine to buy any clothes she wanted.
OOC notes: Before this war I had fought one war against the Incas, taking three of their borderline provinces with Chimu (which I already owned at the time). For the second war, I didn't intend to annex the entire nation, just taking about four provinces including all the gold except for Cuzco itself (the Inca capital). However, the Incas were very stubborn and simply would not concede their gold to me. After several such refusals, their stability had sunk to -2 and I was besieging their last province. So I said "To h___ with them, they dug their own grave," and the following occurred:
The Inca Empire -- now you see it
And now you don't
With the riches of Egypt flowing into the Spanish treasury Enrique and Katherine were happy for several years. Financial disruption arrived again, however, from an unexpected source -- Italy. Enrique in years past had very shrewdly gained control of the Italian clothing markets by direct conquest. The designers, resentful of lost income, struck back with the most powerful weapon at their disposal -- changing fashion styles. Wealthy men throughout Western Europe were stunned to hear that the beautiful dresses their lovely wives had worn were suddenly oh so passe; only a truly uninformed or naive woman would continue to wear such gauche and outdated fashions as those.
Katherine, being neither uninformed nor naive, tearfully pleaded with Enrique for permission to buy a new wardrobe. When Enrique resisted, she implored him, saying "What shall I do then? Walk around naked?" Now Enrique loved his pretty wife with or without clothes, but he conceded that the latter option was only appropriate in private settings, Katherine being no Lady Godiva.
So he grudgingly admitted that something would have to be done. Meanwhile, it was time for them to take a cruise, and because Katherine was too ashamed to wear her out of fashion clothes within Europe, they agreed to a cruise along the Nile in Spain's newly acquired territory in Egypt.
Enrique, as he had done many times before, looked for a fish in the silvery moonlight reflecting on the river one evening. When he saw a fish leap out of the water and perform a graceful flip before diving back in, he called out:
Fishy, fishy in the Nile,
Kathy's clothes are out of style.
I heard her tell me this with dread;
I fear that troubles lie ahead.
Now Kathy needs to buy some dresses,
Coats, hats, shoes and more excesses.
But I'm running low on cash,
I could go bankrupt in a flash.
The fish popped out of the water once more and answered him:
O King, there is more gold for you;
Just travel southward from Chimu.
Provide your men with rum and brandies
As they journey down the Andes.
There dwell a people called the Inca;
Fight them well, and they will drink a
Bitter potion of defeat.
Your wealth of gold will be complete.
The prospect of more gold sounded very promising to the king, so he eagerly awaited the end of the cruise and the return to Madrid. Once there, he gave the necessary orders to his generals, and after a long campaign, the once proud Inca Empire was totally destroyed and absorbed into Spain, along with heaps and heaps of gold rivaling even the riches of the Aztecs nearly a century before.
With this mountain of gold flowing into Madrid, Enrique told Katherine to buy any clothes she wanted.
OOC notes: Before this war I had fought one war against the Incas, taking three of their borderline provinces with Chimu (which I already owned at the time). For the second war, I didn't intend to annex the entire nation, just taking about four provinces including all the gold except for Cuzco itself (the Inca capital). However, the Incas were very stubborn and simply would not concede their gold to me. After several such refusals, their stability had sunk to -2 and I was besieging their last province. So I said "To h___ with them, they dug their own grave," and the following occurred:
The Inca Empire -- now you see it
And now you don't
At any rate, I'm pleased to have expanded your vocabulary a bit. 
