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Storey said:I have to admit you drove me to the dictionary with "defenestration".
Joe
LOL, the rhyme for "inflation" made me chuckle too...
coz1 -- I've been fairly lucky in most of the game with well-spaced exceptional year events. So most of the time my inflation was below 2%; then I would mint a bit now and then as needed, but stay conservative at about 4% until the next exceptional year. That worked well -- until the state bankruptcy event.
TreizeV -- I have to admit I didn't think of that when I wrote that part. Now that I reread it, I see it your way. Maybe the best part of any story comes without the author's knowledge! Mainly in this part I was just trying to set up the "defenestration" line in the poem.
stnylan -- Thanks for following along so faithfully.
Storey -- Have you never heard of the Defenestration of Prague? At any rate, I'm pleased to have expanded your vocabulary a bit.
TheBee -- I agree, I think that pair of lines is among the best. These poems are actually fun to write, much as I thought I would never say such a thing years ago when I was in school.
TreizeV -- I have to admit I didn't think of that when I wrote that part. Now that I reread it, I see it your way. Maybe the best part of any story comes without the author's knowledge! Mainly in this part I was just trying to set up the "defenestration" line in the poem.
stnylan -- Thanks for following along so faithfully.
Storey -- Have you never heard of the Defenestration of Prague?
At any rate, I'm pleased to have expanded your vocabulary a bit. TheBee -- I agree, I think that pair of lines is among the best. These poems are actually fun to write, much as I thought I would never say such a thing years ago when I was in school.
Chapter 19
A decade after the disastrous year of pirates, storms, debts, and Cremona, Spain had rebuilt just as the fish promised. Indeed, the only truly lasting effects of the state bankruptcy were a lower credit rating (the Fuggers no longer allowed Enrique to borrow 1000 ducats at a time), lingering and irritating inflation, and most of all, a general attitude of weariness and defeat. It was this last item that most troubled Enrique, for it marked such a contrast with the carefree days of conquest and riches that had characterized Spain for so long beforehand.
More personally troubling for the king was his necessarily tightfisted approach to palace finances, including Katherine. True, he had splurged to build the new art museum, but other than that Enrique and Katherine had both kept spending to very modest levels. And though Enrique loved his wife all the more for her sacrifices, he knew she longed for the day when she could spend freely once again.
So it was with a heavy heart that Enrique sought out his old friend Juan, who listened patiently to Enrique's problems. When asked for a solution, Juan fell back on what had worked so many times before: a fishing trip, this time to a wetlands area in the plains of Leon. Small streams meandered through the watery grasslands, eventually merging into a tributary to the Tagus. At first Enrique was impressed by the majestic fishing birds, but then his attention was drawn to the water, and he saw a pretty fish which sparkled in the bright sunlight. The king called out:
Fishy, fishy in the marsh,
Conditions fiscally are harsh.
Though bankruptcies no longer loom,
My people still are mired in gloom.
Are there more provinces to capture
E'er the coming day of rapture?
Some lands whose riches we may take,
Or must I now all wealth forsake?
And the fish stood on its tail and spoke this reply:
O King, the poorhouse waits you not;
Great wealth abounds, you just forgot.
There is a land with valued staples;
You know it by the name of Naples.
Outrageously, they still hold Rome,
So pay a visit to their home.
With Portugal in your alliance,
You'll soon end all of their defiance.
Remembering the earlier advice about campaigning in Italy -- heed the word of Machiavelli -- Enrique rushed to Lisbon to discuss matters of state with his former steward, now King of Portugal, Felipe. For Enrique was considering starting a new war, and out of courtesy he wished to sound out his allies first. He knew there would be no problem with Austria or Siena, but Portugal, holding Naples as a vassal, would be put in a very awkward political position. However, Felipe assured Enrique that their friendship was much more important than a tenuous relationship with the occupier of Rome (never mind that Portugal had held that dubious distinction before Naples).
So war was declared, vassalization was cancelled, Marche was gained, and the Neapolitans acquired a new master -- now Spain and not Portugal. Coincidentally, Austria began a war against an alliance containing Provence at about the same time (though as a later Austrian psychologist noted, "there are no coincidences"). Enrique's commanders were only too happy to capture more territory in the form of Emilia.
Italy in 1604:
My vassals Siena and Naples were diploannexed approximately 20 and 40 years, respectively, from this date. Spain's control over Italy was solid.
A decade after the disastrous year of pirates, storms, debts, and Cremona, Spain had rebuilt just as the fish promised. Indeed, the only truly lasting effects of the state bankruptcy were a lower credit rating (the Fuggers no longer allowed Enrique to borrow 1000 ducats at a time), lingering and irritating inflation, and most of all, a general attitude of weariness and defeat. It was this last item that most troubled Enrique, for it marked such a contrast with the carefree days of conquest and riches that had characterized Spain for so long beforehand.
More personally troubling for the king was his necessarily tightfisted approach to palace finances, including Katherine. True, he had splurged to build the new art museum, but other than that Enrique and Katherine had both kept spending to very modest levels. And though Enrique loved his wife all the more for her sacrifices, he knew she longed for the day when she could spend freely once again.
So it was with a heavy heart that Enrique sought out his old friend Juan, who listened patiently to Enrique's problems. When asked for a solution, Juan fell back on what had worked so many times before: a fishing trip, this time to a wetlands area in the plains of Leon. Small streams meandered through the watery grasslands, eventually merging into a tributary to the Tagus. At first Enrique was impressed by the majestic fishing birds, but then his attention was drawn to the water, and he saw a pretty fish which sparkled in the bright sunlight. The king called out:
Fishy, fishy in the marsh,
Conditions fiscally are harsh.
Though bankruptcies no longer loom,
My people still are mired in gloom.
Are there more provinces to capture
E'er the coming day of rapture?
Some lands whose riches we may take,
Or must I now all wealth forsake?
And the fish stood on its tail and spoke this reply:
O King, the poorhouse waits you not;
Great wealth abounds, you just forgot.
There is a land with valued staples;
You know it by the name of Naples.
Outrageously, they still hold Rome,
So pay a visit to their home.
With Portugal in your alliance,
You'll soon end all of their defiance.
Remembering the earlier advice about campaigning in Italy -- heed the word of Machiavelli -- Enrique rushed to Lisbon to discuss matters of state with his former steward, now King of Portugal, Felipe. For Enrique was considering starting a new war, and out of courtesy he wished to sound out his allies first. He knew there would be no problem with Austria or Siena, but Portugal, holding Naples as a vassal, would be put in a very awkward political position. However, Felipe assured Enrique that their friendship was much more important than a tenuous relationship with the occupier of Rome (never mind that Portugal had held that dubious distinction before Naples).
So war was declared, vassalization was cancelled, Marche was gained, and the Neapolitans acquired a new master -- now Spain and not Portugal. Coincidentally, Austria began a war against an alliance containing Provence at about the same time (though as a later Austrian psychologist noted, "there are no coincidences"). Enrique's commanders were only too happy to capture more territory in the form of Emilia.
Italy in 1604:
My vassals Siena and Naples were diploannexed approximately 20 and 40 years, respectively, from this date. Spain's control over Italy was solid.
O Spanish King, a good show so far.
The Western Med is truly 'nostrum mar.'
You have humbled Naples, true.
And I understand they join you, annexed true?
If it's true the Italian boot,
Is more or less secure under your august foot,
Katherine should be happy with her new saffron,
Made in Florence, Pisa or Milan.
So now where do the Spanish armies eye?
Where does their next great project lie?
I see Provence still lies at your door.
I say make sure they bother you never more.
The Western Med is truly 'nostrum mar.'
You have humbled Naples, true.
And I understand they join you, annexed true?
If it's true the Italian boot,
Is more or less secure under your august foot,
Katherine should be happy with her new saffron,
Made in Florence, Pisa or Milan.
So now where do the Spanish armies eye?
Where does their next great project lie?
I see Provence still lies at your door.
I say make sure they bother you never more.
CatKnight, your points are quite well taken,
Kate's wardrobe now is not forsaken.
Though truthfully, I say with pain,
Milan does not yet lie in Spain.
As for Provence, you are quite right;
The King Enrique soon turns his sight
And scans the ground in their direction
To make a better land connection.
However, all these plans must wait,
For Spain is a Crusader State.
As such, they must attack the foes
of God himself, and come to blows
Against two nations far away.
Guess who they are; I will not say.
In any case, the next two verses
Contain Spain's conquest of their purses.
Kate's wardrobe now is not forsaken.
Though truthfully, I say with pain,
Milan does not yet lie in Spain.
As for Provence, you are quite right;
The King Enrique soon turns his sight
And scans the ground in their direction
To make a better land connection.
However, all these plans must wait,
For Spain is a Crusader State.
As such, they must attack the foes
of God himself, and come to blows
Against two nations far away.
Guess who they are; I will not say.
In any case, the next two verses
Contain Spain's conquest of their purses.
Uhhh,
sounds like you are taking a ship to visit some of your mohammedan 'friends'?
Heretic
sounds like you are taking a ship to visit some of your mohammedan 'friends'?
Heretic
A mighty campaign now is done
And wealth and riches have been won.
Kate's supply of dresses increase
And now you control the Italian lease.
Now I think you travel far
Guided by that conquering star
But the foe to fight, if any could
Is not in Africa but America del Sud.
And wealth and riches have been won.
Kate's supply of dresses increase
And now you control the Italian lease.
Now I think you travel far
Guided by that conquering star
But the foe to fight, if any could
Is not in Africa but America del Sud.
To mitigate a future bankruptcy
Enrique should study further numeracy
Or perhaps instead, if fishes stay true
He should boat in a bayou
Or maybe, if that's a word he already ken
He should try the art of angling in a fen.
Meanwhile with all the surplus population
How progresses all your colonisation?
NB: I have no idea if lines 3&4 properly rhyme, but its the best I could come up with.
Enrique should study further numeracy
Or perhaps instead, if fishes stay true
He should boat in a bayou
Or maybe, if that's a word he already ken
He should try the art of angling in a fen.
Meanwhile with all the surplus population
How progresses all your colonisation?
NB: I have no idea if lines 3&4 properly rhyme, but its the best I could come up with.
I wish i could make a ryhme
but I never have the time
I try but it is a big pain
and in the end its all in vain
I really admire your skill
how you can conjure poems at will
but enough about me
I find wars in italy all too tricky
which is why i offer my congradulations
on your swift conquest of so many nations.
I hope my poem wasn't too bad
but I wish you luck all the same comrade
Heretic -- You win the prize for forecasting. Bravo!
coz1 -- Your last two lines were truly inspired. I loved America del Sud.
stnylan -- Very nice, too. I have heard the word bayou pronounced two ways: most commonly rhyming with "you" as you had it; and also with a long o sound instead. Director lives in that general area, maybe he can straighten us out.
TreizeV -- Aha! I've corrupted you, too, now!
Bravo!coz1 -- Your last two lines were truly inspired. I loved America del Sud.
stnylan -- Very nice, too. I have heard the word bayou pronounced two ways: most commonly rhyming with "you" as you had it; and also with a long o sound instead. Director lives in that general area, maybe he can straighten us out.
TreizeV -- Aha! I've corrupted you, too, now!
Chapter 20
Enrique was in trouble. Deep trouble. And it would take a miracle to get out of this one.
It all began so innocently. Enrique and Katherine's wedding anniversary was near and Enrique carefully shopped for a nice present for his wife, knowing how important this occasion was to her. But after all these years quite frankly he was running out of ideas. And, though Spain had recovered from the disastrous bankruptcy, now 20 years in the past, a lavish gift comparable to the new art museum was flatly out of the question.
So Enrique did what he could: he presented Katherine with a very tasteful card, a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, and an item of intimate apparel. But Katherine had dropped numerous hints, regrettably not recognized by Enrique, that she desired gifts that were precious -- precious stones and metals, to be precise. Thus Katherine was grieved and disappointed, and Enrique was in the doghouse.
At times like this Enrique did what he did best, and that was to run away on a fishing trip. He didn't care where he went, just someplace with water. Seeing the first fish swimming by, he called out pleadingly:
Fishy, fishy in the water,
Kathy hates what I just bought her
For our anniversary.
Now she glares and scowls at me.
She said she wants a diamond necklace,
But to buy that would be reckless.
For I'm running out of money,
And Kathy doesn't think that's funny!
The fish gave this advice to Enrique:
O King, go East across the Med
To where the Sultan makes his bed.
Sail to the gateway of the Nile;
Fear neither Turk nor crocodile.
The wealth of Egypt is at hand;
With one bold stroke you'll rule the land.
Where merchants meet to buy and sell,
Attack the foe and you'll do well.
Enrique returned to Madrid and ignored his wife (easy to do, since she was giving him the cold shoulder) while he attempted to follow the fish's advice. He let his generals draw up the plans and sent the troops on their way. As it happened, there were no grounds for fear. His men encountered very few crocodiles and scarcely more Turks. Battles were easy, the sieges were routine, and soon enough Spain owned the great market at Alexandria.
With riches added to Spain's coffers, Enrique went shopping again. Hoping Katherine would like it, he timidly presented her with this:
http://www.nmnh.si.edu/minsci/hope.jpg
Katherine was overcome with joy, and with tears in her eyes she begged his forgiveness for her coldhearted treatment of him. With many hugs and kisses their love was restored and all was forgiven.
OOC notes: The Turks diploannexed Teke (finally!) just before the war, and the Hedjaz just after. Then they went after Ak Koyunlu (again, finally!) and took everything but the capital, taken in the next war. So they probably came out ahead in the whole deal. They put up scarcely any resistance at all, and contrary to what I usually see, they practically rushed to the peace table to offer very generous terms.
Provence fell apart after the war a few years before this. Bern broke away as Helvetia, quickly eaten by Austria. Savoy broke away in two provinces as you see, leaving a highly vulnerable Provence holding only their capital and Lombardy.
Edit: Fixed link for the diamond (I hope).
Enrique was in trouble. Deep trouble. And it would take a miracle to get out of this one.
It all began so innocently. Enrique and Katherine's wedding anniversary was near and Enrique carefully shopped for a nice present for his wife, knowing how important this occasion was to her. But after all these years quite frankly he was running out of ideas. And, though Spain had recovered from the disastrous bankruptcy, now 20 years in the past, a lavish gift comparable to the new art museum was flatly out of the question.
So Enrique did what he could: he presented Katherine with a very tasteful card, a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, and an item of intimate apparel. But Katherine had dropped numerous hints, regrettably not recognized by Enrique, that she desired gifts that were precious -- precious stones and metals, to be precise. Thus Katherine was grieved and disappointed, and Enrique was in the doghouse.
At times like this Enrique did what he did best, and that was to run away on a fishing trip. He didn't care where he went, just someplace with water. Seeing the first fish swimming by, he called out pleadingly:
Fishy, fishy in the water,
Kathy hates what I just bought her
For our anniversary.
Now she glares and scowls at me.
She said she wants a diamond necklace,
But to buy that would be reckless.
For I'm running out of money,
And Kathy doesn't think that's funny!
The fish gave this advice to Enrique:
O King, go East across the Med
To where the Sultan makes his bed.
Sail to the gateway of the Nile;
Fear neither Turk nor crocodile.
The wealth of Egypt is at hand;
With one bold stroke you'll rule the land.
Where merchants meet to buy and sell,
Attack the foe and you'll do well.
Enrique returned to Madrid and ignored his wife (easy to do, since she was giving him the cold shoulder) while he attempted to follow the fish's advice. He let his generals draw up the plans and sent the troops on their way. As it happened, there were no grounds for fear. His men encountered very few crocodiles and scarcely more Turks. Battles were easy, the sieges were routine, and soon enough Spain owned the great market at Alexandria.
With riches added to Spain's coffers, Enrique went shopping again. Hoping Katherine would like it, he timidly presented her with this:
http://www.nmnh.si.edu/minsci/hope.jpg
Katherine was overcome with joy, and with tears in her eyes she begged his forgiveness for her coldhearted treatment of him. With many hugs and kisses their love was restored and all was forgiven.
OOC notes: The Turks diploannexed Teke (finally!) just before the war, and the Hedjaz just after. Then they went after Ak Koyunlu (again, finally!) and took everything but the capital, taken in the next war. So they probably came out ahead in the whole deal. They put up scarcely any resistance at all, and contrary to what I usually see, they practically rushed to the peace table to offer very generous terms.
Provence fell apart after the war a few years before this. Bern broke away as Helvetia, quickly eaten by Austria. Savoy broke away in two provinces as you see, leaving a highly vulnerable Provence holding only their capital and Lombardy.
Edit: Fixed link for the diamond (I hope).
Last edited:
Looks like some-one is rebuilding the Roman Empire! That is some Empire, but I still say Venice is becomming a threat to you.
That is some Empire, but I still say Venice is becomming a threat to you.
Alas, poor Provence, I knew it...
...well, not at all actually. But still, their size was a little presumptuous for what's supposed to be a French minor. They needed a good whomping. (Or just a collapse )
...well, not at all actually. But still, their size was a little presumptuous for what's supposed to be a French minor. They needed a good whomping. (Or just a collapse
)
An inspired plan to travel east
And battle with the infidel beast
Stripping them of what they made
And stealing off with their center of trade.
And I must confess that my spirits did lift
When I saw what Enrigue bought for a gift
Laughter too when I saw your edit,
The humor you use is to your credit.
So now that Kathy has her hope
Since her husband is no dope,
Enrique, methinks has more work
To take the battle to the Turk.
And battle with the infidel beast
Stripping them of what they made
And stealing off with their center of trade.
And I must confess that my spirits did lift
When I saw what Enrigue bought for a gift
Laughter too when I saw your edit,
The humor you use is to your credit.
So now that Kathy has her hope
Since her husband is no dope,
Enrique, methinks has more work
To take the battle to the Turk.
So the reconquista of North Africa is nearly complete, are you sending missonairies, or do cut too deeply into the Kathy's shopping budget ?
?
Haha no poem from me this time , an excellent conquest of North Africa, yes i think some one said it already. Recreating the roman empire hehe.
And i must say, Venice is unusually huge in this game
, an excellent conquest of North Africa, yes i think some one said it already. Recreating the roman empire hehe.And i must say, Venice is unusually huge in this game
World domination and poetry, can it get any better? A true megalomaniac should promote art and literature. Nice show so far jwolf
Thanks to all for following this and giving so much encouragement. Much appreciated, I assure you!
I wasn't trying to recreate the Roman Empire exactly, more like a Mediterranean Empire. Of course that amounts to nearly the same thing, but I don't intend to conquer France and England. Top priority in Europe now is finishing control of the Western Med, especially getting a land connection to Italy and Franch Comte.
Venice was doing fairly well at this time. Such things can be changed. Of course Spain was entirely innocent in Venice's decline. Hmm, I don't think you believe me...
I felt kind of bad for Provence, my former ally against whom I turned and crushed them. Well, I gave them the peaceful option of diplovassalization many times and they kept refusing! So it's their own fault, really. I am innocent! Completely innocent, I tell you!
I didn't plan the "I hope" line about fixing the diamond link, but once I wrote it I saw how it came out and I got a laugh out of it, too. Anyway, Katherine looks absolutely lovely in it.
I definitely worked on converting North Africa (and anything else not already Catholic). When the Calvin event struck I got 3 Reformed provinces in Southern France, plus one more later (Languedoc, taken from Provence). Fortunately I was able get all four converted with a minimum of failures. Africa was a far more difficult land to convert. As is typical for wrong culture conversions, progress was slow, expensive, and often frustrating. But if you keep throwing lots of money at these problems, eventually they go away. By late in the 1600s I got everything from Tangiers to Quattara converted, the high point being getting the very expensive and low probability Tunisia, in one try, under the dismally incompetent Carlos II. Better to be lucky than good. In the New World, the Maya and Aztec provinces all went very well except for their former capitals, which I did not attempt. The Chimu provinces, on the other hand, were incredibly resistant and I had the worst conversion luck I've ever had. Eventually though, just as in Africa, they came around. And the bad luck there was balanced somewhat by good luck on the Inca provinces once I started working on those (that's a bit ahead of this time in the story).
And as for the mix of megalomania and poetry, sooner or later every dictator or emperor fancies himself to be a cultural force, usually for the worse.
I'm not ready for the next chapter; sorry, it will probably be another day or two.
I wasn't trying to recreate the Roman Empire exactly, more like a Mediterranean Empire. Of course that amounts to nearly the same thing, but I don't intend to conquer France and England. Top priority in Europe now is finishing control of the Western Med, especially getting a land connection to Italy and Franch Comte.
Venice was doing fairly well at this time. Such things can be changed.
Of course Spain was entirely innocent in Venice's decline. Hmm, I don't think you believe me...I felt kind of bad for Provence, my former ally against whom I turned and crushed them. Well, I gave them the peaceful option of diplovassalization many times and they kept refusing! So it's their own fault, really. I am innocent! Completely innocent, I tell you!
I didn't plan the "I hope" line about fixing the diamond link, but once I wrote it I saw how it came out and I got a laugh out of it, too. Anyway, Katherine looks absolutely lovely in it.
I definitely worked on converting North Africa (and anything else not already Catholic). When the Calvin event struck I got 3 Reformed provinces in Southern France, plus one more later (Languedoc, taken from Provence). Fortunately I was able get all four converted with a minimum of failures. Africa was a far more difficult land to convert. As is typical for wrong culture conversions, progress was slow, expensive, and often frustrating. But if you keep throwing lots of money at these problems, eventually they go away. By late in the 1600s I got everything from Tangiers to Quattara converted, the high point being getting the very expensive and low probability Tunisia, in one try, under the dismally incompetent Carlos II. Better to be lucky than good.
In the New World, the Maya and Aztec provinces all went very well except for their former capitals, which I did not attempt. The Chimu provinces, on the other hand, were incredibly resistant and I had the worst conversion luck I've ever had. Eventually though, just as in Africa, they came around. And the bad luck there was balanced somewhat by good luck on the Inca provinces once I started working on those (that's a bit ahead of this time in the story).And as for the mix of megalomania and poetry, sooner or later every dictator or emperor fancies himself to be a cultural force, usually for the worse.
I'm not ready for the next chapter; sorry, it will probably be another day or two.