This text is to serve as a warning for the ignorant strangers seeking to gain control of a EU nation they know nothing about 
Surely the whole world has gone mad? Today a veritable stranger with a strange musical accent waltzes into our Grand palace in Moskow and there, on the Dais proclaims himself King.
Well, at first there were titters from the back, quickly followed by outright laughter from all those present.
That soon ended I’m afraid when the stranger pulled out a device he affectionately called a “Styer Aug?”. Looks of bemusement were replaced by bafflement as our entire royal family was shot to pieces before our very eyes, oh woe is Mother Russia and me.
Text unintelligible due to several blood stains
Well well, this old fool, writing about me behind my back as I go about settling my claim as Russia’s grand leader.
LOL. Ah ghost of a dead man let me take you thru the events that transpired after your “unfortunate” demise.
LOL
I decided to dictate to the Russian people how I plan to lead this flea invested country into the 16th century.
So I summon all my diplomats to a public execution, to which they’re the main draw cards. Fools as if they were ever needed.
LOL. I did however acquire a copy of the mainland, rifled from a stiffening diplomatic corpse.
Looking at this map of Russia i immediately discover 2 things that bring drool to my mouth. A large standing army and a tempting target to the south.
OPERATION OVERTONE – invasion of Kazran
Summoning Colonel sumuniteliglename to my office I outline my simple plan, take the entire army and kill anyone who opposes the Mothers armies.
He of course scoffs at the plan, so I promptly shoot him. LOL, ah ghost if only you could have seen the expression on his face.
His aide was more than willing to take command of attack, which goes surprisingly well and Kazran is soon added to our empire.
However casualties are light and we lose only 30k men, mostly to attrition.
Hmm that’ll have to change…
I order the conscription of 100K infantry, which takes an interminable 2yrs to fulfill, however in the mean time luck is with me and a newly conquered province goes up in flames. These ppl just don’t know when they’re beaten.
So I order Colonel sillyname to crush the rebellion and bring me heads, lots of them. In a pitched battle, however he is soundly beaten so I order him to the capital to explain his failure. Upon his arrival he is promptly shot along with his entire brood. I will brook no losers in this mans army.
Tell me ghost are all the people in this frozen wasteland the result of several generations of practiced inbreeding?
Quickly I summon 4 leading Russian colonels to my abode and shoot 3 of them, telling the survivor without the use of any words his fate if he fails to crush the rebellion.
However since I fail to impart on him the urgency of the matter it takes him several weeks to ready his army of 33K infantry and 5K cavalry for the assault on the willful province, so by the time he is ready to take back what is rightfully mine, I have lost another province to the dogs.
Grrr
Never mind, as I use my time well by shooting passerby’s in the street.LOL.
Word from the south is now sketchy at best and I long for the reports of victory and bloodshed. I’m starting to wonder if my regular shooting of couriers might be keeping valuable information out of my reach.
Hmmmm
Oh well there’s nothing I can do about that is there ghost? By the way’ one of those couriers I hear was your youngest son, you must be pleased to have caught up with him? This time teach him not to make snide remarks about leaders with no knowledge or cedibility
THE DOG HAS TRICKED ME!
I have been betrayed, even now the southern armies march upon my undefended headquarters, blood will flow tonight and it will not be from me!
He think he used his time well, gathering the armies to remove this despot is the last mistake he’ll ever make!
Come ghost we go to battle, the royal guard may have fled but all I need is my trusty rifle.
END OF TEXT
Plz note im using this thread as a warmup for any serious AAR i may decide to write later
Surely the whole world has gone mad? Today a veritable stranger with a strange musical accent waltzes into our Grand palace in Moskow and there, on the Dais proclaims himself King.
Well, at first there were titters from the back, quickly followed by outright laughter from all those present.
That soon ended I’m afraid when the stranger pulled out a device he affectionately called a “Styer Aug?”. Looks of bemusement were replaced by bafflement as our entire royal family was shot to pieces before our very eyes, oh woe is Mother Russia and me.
Text unintelligible due to several blood stains
Well well, this old fool, writing about me behind my back as I go about settling my claim as Russia’s grand leader.
LOL. Ah ghost of a dead man let me take you thru the events that transpired after your “unfortunate” demise.
LOL
I decided to dictate to the Russian people how I plan to lead this flea invested country into the 16th century.
So I summon all my diplomats to a public execution, to which they’re the main draw cards. Fools as if they were ever needed.
LOL. I did however acquire a copy of the mainland, rifled from a stiffening diplomatic corpse.
Looking at this map of Russia i immediately discover 2 things that bring drool to my mouth. A large standing army and a tempting target to the south.
OPERATION OVERTONE – invasion of Kazran
Summoning Colonel sumuniteliglename to my office I outline my simple plan, take the entire army and kill anyone who opposes the Mothers armies.
He of course scoffs at the plan, so I promptly shoot him. LOL, ah ghost if only you could have seen the expression on his face.
His aide was more than willing to take command of attack, which goes surprisingly well and Kazran is soon added to our empire.
However casualties are light and we lose only 30k men, mostly to attrition.
Hmm that’ll have to change…
I order the conscription of 100K infantry, which takes an interminable 2yrs to fulfill, however in the mean time luck is with me and a newly conquered province goes up in flames. These ppl just don’t know when they’re beaten.
So I order Colonel sillyname to crush the rebellion and bring me heads, lots of them. In a pitched battle, however he is soundly beaten so I order him to the capital to explain his failure. Upon his arrival he is promptly shot along with his entire brood. I will brook no losers in this mans army.
Tell me ghost are all the people in this frozen wasteland the result of several generations of practiced inbreeding?
Quickly I summon 4 leading Russian colonels to my abode and shoot 3 of them, telling the survivor without the use of any words his fate if he fails to crush the rebellion.
However since I fail to impart on him the urgency of the matter it takes him several weeks to ready his army of 33K infantry and 5K cavalry for the assault on the willful province, so by the time he is ready to take back what is rightfully mine, I have lost another province to the dogs.
Grrr
Never mind, as I use my time well by shooting passerby’s in the street.LOL.
Word from the south is now sketchy at best and I long for the reports of victory and bloodshed. I’m starting to wonder if my regular shooting of couriers might be keeping valuable information out of my reach.
Hmmmm
Oh well there’s nothing I can do about that is there ghost? By the way’ one of those couriers I hear was your youngest son, you must be pleased to have caught up with him? This time teach him not to make snide remarks about leaders with no knowledge or cedibility
THE DOG HAS TRICKED ME!
I have been betrayed, even now the southern armies march upon my undefended headquarters, blood will flow tonight and it will not be from me!
He think he used his time well, gathering the armies to remove this despot is the last mistake he’ll ever make!
Come ghost we go to battle, the royal guard may have fled but all I need is my trusty rifle.
END OF TEXT
Plz note im using this thread as a warmup for any serious AAR i may decide to write later
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