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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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Griffin.Gen

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The Clan you are talking about are the Brutii, but there is only one really important Brutus in Cesar's tragic end.

And yes, Nicaragua was quite a hard son of a... because I forgot, that almost all of their territory is mountains.
This would have been the perfect moment to have the little tune from the price is right when the contestant loses for some reason :p
 

Sarganto

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This would have been the perfect moment to have the little tune from the price is right when the contestant loses for some reason :p

Gaining 5 provinces is not what I would call losing ^^
And eventually my uber-manpowerpool would have allowed me to win this war. But there's still so much land to blob and not that much time left.
 

Sarganto

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The Game

President: Time is running out and the Blob is not yet blobby enough. It's time for "the games"!
The King: What are "the games"?
President: You'll see. Just invite the Kings of Sardinia-Piemont, Japan and Deseret.
The King: I can't wait to see, what you are up to.

Some time later...

Shogun of Japan: ばか外人!
King of S&P: What is this? Why were we brought here?
Duke of Deseret: Häe? Wat je blöf zaligen?!
President: Silence! You have been brought here to play a game with me.
King of S&P: I have no time for games! Bring me back to my country!
Duke of Deseret: Nölg nölg talafekt! Gämeslen nahaha! *claps his hands*
Shogun of Japan: 畜生!
President: Everyone of you get's to roll a dice and the number to roll, is the number of provinces you will lose to the Blob. That way, you at least have a chance to keep some of your lands, isn't that nice?
The King: Awesome idea! Combining gambling and conquering is pure genius!
President: Sardinia-Piemont, you will start.
King of S&P: I won't play with you, I'm not a little kid playing with my provinces like marbles!
President: In case you didn't understand: I will take your provinces anyway. But this way, we will at least have some fun and it will reduce the pillaging and bloodshed to a minimum. But hey, I can also order my 300.000 troops at your border to attack your tiny country and then we will see, if rolling a damn dice wouldn't have been better for you.
King of S&P: *his head turns red* Arrggh....you bloody...damn it. Give me the dice!
*President hands over a dice to the King of Sardinia-Piemonte*
*King of S&P rolls the dice*
...
President: 4!
King of S&P: And what now? You're not really taking 4 of my provinces now?
President: Of course.

sard-pie-1.jpg


King of S&P: I seriously suck at gambling...
Duke of Deseret: Köpfzen talafg! *takes the dice*
President: Wait for your turn. Japan is next.
Shogun of Japan: だから何だ!
*the Shogun grabs the dice from the Duke of Deseret and throws it across the throne room at the head of his own ambassador*
Shogun of Japan: ばかやろ!
President: Now, let's see what you got. A 6! Sadly, you only have 3 provinces. Hmm...I will just take them all, if that's fine for you.
Shogun of Japan: しまった!
Duke of Deseret: Jölpkölp senjap! Japjapjap!

jap-end.jpg


Shogun of Japan: 切腹! *draws his Katana and rams it into his stomach*
The King: I'm not going to clean that mess.
Duke of Deseret: Kölpsen hatsen! Mej tölg tölg!
The King: I guess, he's not really realizing what's going on here...
*Duke of Deseret is hopping through the throne room and searching the dice*
President: The dice is here. *holding the dice in his hand*
Duke of Deseret: Aahhh hölertand!
*takes the dice and rolls it, while making squeeking noises*
President: You rolled a 3. That leaves you with one province.
Duke of Deseret: Napsetrudel! Jöööoouuuhuuuuu! *runs around bubbling over with joy*
The King: How did they survive that long with this ruler and only 2 infantry divisions anyway?
President: I really don't know. But now, let's take those 3 provinces and kick this fool out of my palace.
Duke of Deseret: Jööööööooouuuuhuuuuu japjapjap!

deseret.jpg



Who is the next victim of the Blob?
Will the President keep playing this game or switch to a card game?
Is the Duke of Deseret retarded or is there a deeper sense in all what he is doing?

This and more in the next episode of "All hail the Blob!" :D
 
Last edited:

unmerged(81390)

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You cheated and took five provinces from Sardinia Piemont! :eek:
 

Enewald

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A cruel game.
Maybe next time russian rulet, the one who gets killed will get annexed? :D
 

unmerged(81390)

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Sarganto said:
I am obviously not able to count ._.
Will correct that ^^
B-but that's cheating too! I demand you give a province back to the King of Sardinia-Piemont!
 

unmerged(112641)

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I am the IDOWHATEVERTHEFUCKIWANTBECAUSEIHAVEABAZILLIONDIVISIONS-BLOB
s162.gif

I don't want to even make screenshots of my Haitian Empire.
 

Sarganto

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I don't want to even make screenshots of my Haitian Empire.
But Haiti is neither white, nor blobby.

By the way, sorry for the lack of updates. A lot of exams this month, but maybe I'll find some time for an update next week.
In addition to my exams, EUIII is eating the rest of my free time.
 

Sarganto

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Yay! Go blob! May Austria successfully blow its load on the surprised face of the rest of the world!

I'm glad you enjoy it. Once again, sorry for the lack of updates, but only 2 exams to go. I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel :D
 

Sarganto

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Don't get too wet down there, but...maybe I'll go back and finish this AAR in 1 or 2 weeks.
I won't promise, but I have my last exams at the beginning of July and after that I will have a lot of freetime, until my semester in Japan begins (yep, that's right, I'm going to Japan! :D ).

So stay tuned...for the next season of "All hail the Blob!"
 

Griffin.Gen

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Don't get too wet down there, but...maybe I'll go back and finish this AAR in 1 or 2 weeks.
I won't promise, but I have my last exams at the beginning of July and after that I will have a lot of freetime, until my semester in Japan begins (yep, that's right, I'm going to Japan! :D ).

So stay tuned...for the next season of "All hail the Blob!"
:O
Oh well, good luck, looking forward the completion of this.
 

unmerged(142857)

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Great AAR! I especially love the "Emperor=President" event, Yoda, and the maniac king. Blob all of Europe!!
 

Sarganto

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Great AAR! I especially love the "Emperor=President" event, Yoda, and the maniac king. Blob all of Europe!!
Thank you :)

I'm already planning the next updates, but it will take 1 or 2 weeks until I can post the first one. Only 2 more exams around until I'm free :D

Surprisingly...that's what I said like 4 posts before...and half a year ago ;)
 

Sarganto

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AARs have come back from longer breaks, certainly (I'm NOT speaking from personal experience, nope, not at all, no siree...) :p

Hopefully you're right this time, and I'll have more AAR to read soon!
They always come back to my mind if I need something to distract me from my real work ;)