Part 1.7 - Wales
Part 1.7 - Wales
Now that King Arthfael III of Deheubarth has surrendered Glamorgan, I can usurp his duchy from him. Getting rid of these Welsh petty kings one by one you know. So I usurp the Duchy and to make my wondrous half-brother happy I grant him the title of Duke. I know powerful family members = BAD! But I enjoy landing family, so eh oh well.
This won't turn out very happy in the end.
But moving on. Now that I have taken the Duchy title and there is one little chunk of land still out of my reach, I have to wait ten years once again to take it. This puts us a little close to the end of our 50 years. So I have to do some tactical decision making to speed the process up.
No not truce breaking.
Rather the time honored tradition here in the CKII forum of killing children. Yep, that's right we're going to have the little former boy King Arthfael III assassinated. So up goes my plot, and I start looking for co-conspirators. What I find is something rather suspicious. Only the women want to kill Arthfael!
I don't understand why this is, apparently the boy king has shunned all of those would be cougars. Or perhaps he's a peeping tom and has been caught a few times. I don't know but this is one of the many thought provoking incidences that occur in these games that make you say "Hmmmmm...".
That's when I receive the message that my Chaplain has died. Not surprising as being Chaplain to us Welsh is usually means you will be going on the Brigacos Pilgrimage (sight-seeing all of the Norse prisons).
My new Chaplain is average so he's a good candidate for being incarcerated.
In June of 906, another of my sons comes of age as does his betrothed. And thus I send my little lad off to Burgundy to marry another Karling. Yes, the Karlings will one day be known as Cerneu if this trend continues. But the daughter-in-law in question is the Duchess of Burgundy, so she was a jewel I couldn't resist.
That's when our friendly neighborhood Breton Kaiser calls us into war against Flanders. I accept naturally. I mean we still have no boats so our purpose in this war is to spectate from afar.
See he really is a Breton
Here's the bad thing about all women in a plot to assassinate a former boy king. They gossip...and gossip a lot! That hasn't changed in 1100 years and has probably been the case since the first cave man started grunting.
She was at the hair salon probably kicking it with her girls and out slipped our little secret. So this is a lesson to never trust these sorts of secrets with the females.
Although, I am a glutton for punishment because my plot still is completely female...can't wait till the next one goes to get her nails done.
A year of waiting for some more people to help me kill this little boy passes, with zero fun things happening when I notice my oldest son Dumnarth has given me my first grandkid. A daughter named Daniela verch Dumnarth...thankfully a daughter not named Dub, or some crazy name that the wife Queen B has.
And that is when the evil female plot to end little Arthfael's life comes to fruition.
Or not.
See this is the problem women back then they didn't really hunt. So this plot failing isn't much of a surprise. They should have used the snake or carried the boy up the castle wall and "accidentally" drop him. But no they decide to take him hunting. And well it is a little suspicious that women would take a young boy hunting to begin with.
Then another event fires in the spring of 908.
See they took my advice. Who would have thought the boy king couldn't fly like a bird?
With that bit of business out of the way I learn that some grown man succeeds to the County in the wake of Arthfael splattering on the ground. And lucky us no more Truce!
While I wait a few more months saving some pretty coins, my twins Glen and Heodez come of age. Meaning more brats to send away in marriage.
In fact we don't even have to wait to send Heodez off. She is destined to live in Ireland, and becomes the King of Munster's new wifey.
With that little bit of happiness, I declare war on Count Cai of Dyfed.
Two minor battles ensue...
After the destruction of his army Cai discovers being count sucks, plus the additional fact that he can no longer trust women as it seems the ladies of Dyfed are all murderous psychopaths.
I pat him on the back and send him on his way. Not sure what court he goes to in exile. Don't really care either. Just glad to see that Wales is 100% united now. Our mission of consolidation is complete.
Now what to do? We have eight years left. Hmmm....
Looking around the world I don't really know.
That's when I get a message that my son Briac Duke of Burgundy is seeking to kill his brother Dumnarth. This is how things will surely unravel when we leave Wales to the AI. When I saw this pop up my thought was damn all that hard work and the AI is going to screw it all up.
So I decide to do what any king would do and hold a tournament. Maybe Dumnarth will get killed there instead of assassinated.
Unfortunately he survives or just didn't fight. But King Ricat actually won second place in the melee, not too happy with the guy that beat us though, really thought about throwing him in prison and executing his ass.
That's when Glen's betrothed officially reaches the age of 16 and I send little 18 year old Glen off to another foreign land to marry another Karling girl. This time he is marrying the Duchess of Orleans.
And as an added bonus I send Princess Erwana off to marry Duke Amedee de Bomporto of Apulia.
That is when some interesting news from Jorvik reaches us in 912. My Chaplain has actually been allowed to stay! This violates the sacred trust of all former pilgrims on the Brigacos Pilgrimage. But it does add some interesting possibilities if he is able to successfully convert the Norse in Jorvik.
Meanwhile during that proselytizing nonsense, I send another son off to Europe. Prince Ewen won't be marrying a Karling though. Instead I found a Duchess of the Billung dynasty. The only surviving ruler of that dynasty and well there are no more males! Goodbye Billungs.
So Prince Ewen is sent off to marry the Duchess of Koln.
This is when I say screw everything and switch from Gavelkind to Elective. I know the AI will seriously screw everything up with Elective, so perhaps I should have went Tanistry or something weird. But I chose Elective, gamey yes, but still.
And then I make Dumnarth Duke of Gwynedd in good measure, and make him sole heir to the Kingdom of Wales.
I'm sure the AI will choose Briac's kids or something crazy and we'll have Wales in southern France. But hey it'll make things entertaining!
This is when everything seems on the verge of falling apart. For Duke Klaoda my wonderful half-brother decides to do the brotherly love medieval style thing and try and claim the Kingdom of Wales. Yeah he wants to steal my title. Damned brothers.
I click the arrest button.
It fails...
Off to war we go.