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tnick0225

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Part 6.5 - Mauretania

Part 6.5 - Mauretania​



Poor little Sultan Husam II Shaiban, coming to the throne after his father and brother were killed by African voodoo sticks. He's all of 8 years old, and with luck will live long enough to see adulthood and hopefully make a baby, because right now his oldest sister Rah-Rah is the current heir apparent.


So there's a boy sultan, and a look at what the remainder of the West African jungles look like. We still have some work to do as far as taking control of these lands. Unfortunately for the moment I'm going to have to wait before making any moves against Songhai.

While I'm waiting March of 1103 rolls around and the Ummayad Emir Akin the Wise decides he can spank little Sultan Husam II in war. I guess he heard the Shaibans tend to get killed by voodoo sticks so I'm sure the Emir is equipping his armies appropriately.


Before the war even gets underway I discover that King Indy's son King Iacob of Ireland-Alba is now known the world-over as the "half-hand", which is a nickname I don't see very often.


Before the war even gets going the Sunni Caliphate declares a Jihad for Jerusalem against the Teutonic Order. And we are also notified that King Vid Mihaljevic of Hungary has lost Thrace in an independence revolt. Which means that Constantinople is now independent. The Greece is now a patchwork of independent principalities which should be interesting in the future.

Meanwhile the war swings in the Ummayad's favor. A lot of this has to do with me trying to get all my forces into a spot where they can unite into a large stack, unfortunately a large number of them were caught off guard while marching and destroyed.

By the end of 1103, the Ummayads have a war-score of 41%, which means things aren't looking all that good for our little Sultan Husam II.

So Husam, having a lot of money, hires some mercenaries, and a Holy Order, and now has a stack of 17,000 men ready to go deliver the Shaiban Sultanate's first blow to the Ummayads.

On February 2, 1104, we win the battle of Tangiers.


We give chase to the remnant of the forces routed in Tangiers and destroy them on the 28th of February.

Emir Akin then sends another stack of 5,000 men into our lands, and we meet them in May.


With the bulk of the Ummayad Army now broken, I set the Shaiban army on sieges. I don't wait around either, instead I assault the holdings one by one, wanting this war to end as quickly as possible.

We occupy our first one in July, and by September we've occupied five holdings.


While moving our men to the next target, I discover that the Holy Roman Emperor's pet anti-pope, remember the one that was dumb as all hell? 0 Stats in almost all categories save for learning. Well he died, and has been succeeded by anti-pope Valentine II, who is just as pitiful.


In November we take Tlemcen, and go about laying siege some more. By March of 1105 we have successfully occupied two more settlements.


I notice the Ummayads had gathered another 2,000 men, and were once more laying siege in Tangiers. I send my stack out to kill them, and win at the Battle of Arcos.


I've grown tired of this and don't want to waste anymore money paying these mercenaries. So I go to the diplomacy screen and settle for a white peace, ending the war against the Ummayads.


The next two years pass by with very little happening. In fact, truth be told absolutely nothing happens. A province converts to Christianity but that's about it. Nothing screenshot worthy or even worth mentioning.

So, in 1107, growing bored I look south once more, and decide its time to clean up the remainder of the West African Pagans.


Our war for Timbuktu, the final county ruled over by the King of Mali, will end inconclusively as the Ummayads will take that.

So now, our only war is with the High Chief of Songhai.

In 1108, the Sunni Jihad for Jerusalem ends, with the Teutonic Order winning. This time around they've actually managed to hold onto the Holy Land for a little while which is impressive considering in the past they usually lose their crusade winnings within a decade or two.

Remember how long it takes for me to get my troops down south? Well, the war doesn't really see anything happen until December of 1108 when our forces occupy Gao.

Long sieges then commence.


In October of 1109 we occupy a fifth holding, driving the warscore to 90% but the High Chief of Songhai sees the writing on the wall and knows that Sultan Husam II is too young to be on the battlefield rendering his voodoo sticks useless. He then decides it is high time to convert to Catholicism.


Looks like we won't be seeing Songhai integrated into our African superpower anytime soon.

Disappointed and slightly annoyed at being blocked from expansion once again by a conversion, I decide to create the Sultanate of Mali. I do this because at least then I will be able to press de jure claims on the lands. It would be a longer process, but at least I'll be able to do something.


I could have taken the crown long ago, but didn't do to gavelkind succession. I still have gavelkind but the way successions are going for me thus far, I don't see this splitting my empire apart, so its worth the risk.

Although knowing my luck Husam will have twin boys and immediately get hit by a voodoo stick and die.

But oh well.

On March 2, 1110, Husam II Shaiban comes of age and marries Princess Juliana de Cantabria of Castille. She is the youngest sister of Husam's former sister-in-law Adosinda.


Now to see if Husam can make some babies!

Unfortunately this hope is interrupted. The Pagans in Africa have decided to pass around the voodoo sticks to the populace in celebration of the Sultan's sixteenth birthday. And in celebration they rise up in revolt.


Will Sultan Husam II Shaiban fall to the deadly voodoo stick as his father and brother did before him? Or will he survive?
 

GreatUberGeek

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The Deadly Voodoo stick! :D But shouldn't you call it the Great and Holy Scepter of Christ? ;)
 

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Do not, under any circumstance, send Husam to the front... I'm sure the rabble can't stand up against the Sultan's levies and there really is no reason to tempt fate and expose Husam to the risk of a Voodoo Head Bonk - it would severely impact his baby-making ability and that is what matters most right now. As the hippie philosophers used to say: "Make love, not war" and it sure sounds like they were talking about Husam - stay home with the nubile young wife and leave the dreary warring to the peasants, who get paid to do it.
 

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Part 6.6 - Mauretania - Mali

@GreatUberGeek: Gotta watch out for those voodoo sticks man, they'll get ya everytime. Now if the tables were reversed I'd say the Great and Holy sceptre of Christ, but since its pagans doing the head banging I'll stick with the voodoo stick.

@Stuyvesant: Tempting fate is great fun though!!! But you are right Husam needs to go get busy making some love babies. However, perhaps even the hippy philosophers made a mistake on that whole, "Make love, not war" thing...

~~~~~
Part 6.6 - Mauretania - Mali​



So I was going to wait till like tonight or something to update this...but I got to looking at my screenshots and have had a few drinks and in a spirited mood at the moment.

FYI that means if there's any poor grammar, misspellings, random obscenities, and well you know the usual unsavory flare, I do apologize and blame Swedish vodka for the inconvenience.

Moving on to the story of our newly come of age Sultan Husam II Shaiban, we forgot to buy him a sturdy helmet for that 16th bday but I'm sure he'll manage without. Besides his turban looks like it may very well give him enough cushion to protect that noggin.

While I'm raising troops to go attack the masses of voodoo stick wielders I notice something strange off our coast.


Apparently after the Jihad suffered an embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Teutonic Order they decided to take a prolonged vacation to the Canary Islands. I never signed off on their visas though, at least I don't remember that. So why are they here?

It reminds me of my de Forez playthrough where I had Burgundy ruling France, Iberia, Burgundy, England, Egypt, and Morocco. In that game the GH came like they always do. Well they got lost...one of their doomstacks did, and for a good 20 some years I got to watch the lost horsemen of the Horde go sightseeing throughout Europe. They hit up Rome, and Milan, Marseille and Toulouse, they even visited Cordoba and Toledo, before coming to France again, and parking themselves right in Paris, for a good year or two or more if I remember right.

Obviously P'dox hasn't fixed the lost army bug yet.

Silly AI.

While laughing about all that, and paying more attention to whats going on in the Canary Islands than I am to my own war, out of nowhere the Pagan Uprising lays down it's voodoo sticks and turns their Shaman Kinkin over to my forces.


For the second time in about five minutes I'm at a loss for words on what happened or what's even going on. But I shrug and allow Husam to go back home.

Speaking of which his wife has been prego for a while now. And on the same day that Kinkin is delivered to us as a prisoner, the Sultana of the Shaiban Sultanate goes into labor and delivers a baby boy named Abdul-Qadir. I think I'll just call him Prince AQ.


I can now rest a little easier, at least Husam has a boy and the Shaiban name will last another generation!


Or maybe not...

Bad thing about this plot is I obviously can't imprison Sultan Mubarak. In fact I'm powerless to do anything in response to this, so it's really useless knowledge. And now I'm faced with the fact that AQ's time upon this planet is probably numbered.

Husam is obviously distraught by this news. And he becomes stressed.


I can imagine how this would be stressful. First the family was getting bonked in the head by voodoo sticks, and now it's going to be getting stabbed by the Spear of Destiny.

Such is life in Mauretania I guess.

Seeing how things couldn't get much worse, Husam decides its time for a war against some recently independent former Ummayad vassals.


Husam will march out to fight this one. Its apparent that life in the capital is too big a headache for him. And maybe spilling some blood will ease his mind a little.

The first battle is simple and easily won. We wipe out all 1700 of there men in one fell swoop. We then march to their capital, and lay siege.

While laying siege, Sultan Husam becomes known as "the Great". Why? I have no idea, he hasn't accomplished anything besides having NOT been bonked in the head by a voodoo stick.

Maybe that's great though.

Or it could be that he actually knows how to make a baby, which is something his slightly more successful brother Sultan Shaiban could never figure out.


We then win the siege of that little Sheikhs capital forcing him to surrender, which we already knew would happen so, I'm saying skip that screenshot as its starting to get redundant.

Upon winning the war, we hold a Grand Tournament, because we all know Bedouin Catholics love jousting on their camels.

And the winners are...


No one of note. Although Husam's illegitimate brother Ibrahim came in third, which means he now has cause to complain about deserving some land, some titles, you know the usual entitled BS.

After the tournament a priest inquires Husam about the reasons why he doesn't go to church on Sunday mornings.


What is it exactly that will be ruined dearest Husam? What secrets is our Sultan keeping from us? Specifically what is he doing on Sunday morning that is more important than church?


AHA!

Tumbling!

With a cougar...ohhh Husam you bad little boy you. Que the music for Mrs. Robinson.


Husam officially gives Souzan a tumble. Now this is where deja vu sets in because, apparently Souzan has some sort of seriously deadly STD, because Sultan Husam falls ill the next day.


At this point I'm shaking my head. How much worse can my luck get? I can't lead armies into war, I can't let my ruler try to have babies because well they DIE! I hope he'll at least recover...


Note to self...

No more fighting West African Pagans with ruler because of: Deadly Voodoo Sticks.

No more extramarital affairs without condoms because of: Highly Virulent STDs in all prospective mistresses.

Looks like its back to a regency with four year old Sultan AQ...and well we only have 4 years left in this wonderful land of pain and agony anyway so hopefully little AQ can keep his helmet on and his big boy pants pulled up.

Until next time...
 

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Wonderful sequence with the bishop, Husam's secret, his visit to Cougartown, the inevitable fallout and his death a few moments later. :)

I assume Husam was being called 'The Great' for the double achievement of fathering a child AND not getting killed by voodoo stick. Not immediately dying at the hands of Hosni Mubarak's thugs probably also contributed to his 'greatness'. :p

Four years left to go, with a four-year-old on the throne. Here's hoping your regent doesn't conspire against you: I'm playing a game with Byzantium right now and my underage emperor was forced twice by his double-dealing regent to submit to the faction requiring lowered crown authority. With the result that crown authority has cratered into non-existence (it's lovely to see every duke and count attempt to murder and fight their way through every teeny dispute they can come up with). The best part of this is that apparently any ruler can't institute more than two changes to crown authority during his rule, so now freshly-grown-up Alexios can't do a damn thing about this situation. I expect he'll live a healthy life into his eighties, with my luck. Nice game to play, though. :)

Anyway, enough rambling. I'll be honest and admit I'll be surprised if anything noteworthy happens during AQ's (un)happy childhood. On the bright side, he can't yet get into any tumbling-related trouble and the chances of a four-year-old doing some terminal Voodoo clubbin' seem very remote. Perhaps simply making it to the end of your 50-year stint will be enough to earn him the nickname 'The Greater'?
 

ScribleScrable

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Yeah I'm thinking that's a sarcastic "the Great" term.

I recently had a ruler that received the Great nickname apparently for getting thrown in jail for conspiring against me, then backdoor inheriting the kingdom. His only accomplishment of note was that he became incapable and his dutch wife/regent gifted herself euboa before abandoning him on his death bed!

Anways, it does seem like your time in west/north Africa is coming to an end, but it really has been a good run.
 

tnick0225

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Part 6.7 - Mauretania and Mali (the Shaiban Sultanate)

@Stuyvesant: When I realized how close all those events happened to one another while slogging through the screenshots I had to connect all the dots just couldn't pass that up! Besides skipping out on church to play with the STD infected cougar makes so much more sense!

I can't imagine much happening in AQ's short four year stint I have with him either and luckily we don't have to worry about any cougars, voodoo clubs, or...well hosni mubarak's thugs could still get us I'm sure. But looking back at it I've kind of enjoyed this 50 year turn it was quite fun.

@ScribleScrable: A very sarcastic "the Great" think P'dox was toying with Husam on that one. Although i dare say Stuyvesant is right little AQ if he survives to adulthood may deserve "the Greater". It has been a great run though, I'll miss the Shaiban Sultanate. But hopefully when we leave we see it blossom under the AI's magnanimous leadership.

~~~~~
Part 6.7 - Mauretania and Mali (the Shaiban Sultanate)​



We now have four years, so unfortunately this will be our final chapter as the Bedouin Catholic rulers of the Shaiban Sultanate. So it is almost to say goodbye and its kind of sad in a way. I was excited to leave Ireland, only to be given the shortlived Vahid Shahdom. But the Shaibans of Mauretania though they die too frequently have been quite fun, almost as fun to play as the Abbassids were.

But hey on the bright side this means we will soon discover where we are going next!

So let's get on with it and see if Sultan AQ killed by Mubarak's men.


There is our little four year old Sultan in all his glory. He's a rich kid.

The first guy appointed as our Regent is the Sheikh of the Canary Islands, which makes since, I mean if I was the Sheikh of some little islands that had a host of 10,000+ Muslim soldiers camping out on our beach for no reason I'd be wanting to spend my time in the rich opulence of a Sultan's palace as well.

A year goes by with nothing happening, as we could expect, I mean what would a four year old Sultan do anyway?

In January of 1117, AQs half-uncle Ibrahim ibn Samir, decides he isn't going to accomplish anything in court due to being illegitimate and all and requests our leave to go join the Knights of Santiago. I allow him to go off and join the Holy Order, however, he does leave his one and only son Issa behind. Perhaps I'll be kind and land Issa one of these days should an opportunity present itself.

A month later, the Sultan's mother decides to use her womanly wiles to usurp the Regency.


I'm then stricken by boredom and go wander up to England to check out the de Wexford family. They're not doing anything either, sadly. But I do discover that the Stawells have momentarily lost the throne to Queen Cuthburg of Dunbar.

My attention is called back to Mauretania rather quickly when I get a notification that a Sheikh has decided to rise up in rebellion to install Ibrahim ibn Samir (who is a Knight of Santiago) upon our throne.


The bad thing about this is Ibrahim for all intents and purposes does have a rather good claim to the throne. Even if he is just a bastard son of Samir.

The Emir of Tangiers also joins in the rebellion which is just as troublesome as he is one of the most powerful landholders in the Sultanate.

To make matter even worse though, the peasants and adventurers from as far away as Galicia come rallying behind our wayward Sheikh.


I start calling every man, woman, and child I can find to put up the defense. But most of my armies are now located in Mali due to Mauretania proper rebelling. This means a long travel time across the jungles, giving the Sheikh and the Emir of Tangiers time to slaughter the few levies I have in Mauretania.

In no time, the rebels rack up a 62% war-score.

But what is little AQ doing during this time? Well causing mischief of course.


Awww Talib, a fine friend for a Sultan, surely Talib will grow to be the most influential member of AQs court.

By Spring of 1118, we have a large amount of mercenaries hired and our Malian forces have finally arrived. We begin engaging in battle in April.


At least we've evened things out, while AQ and Talib run about harassing cooks and anyone else that falls upon their radar.

In October of that year, the Regent, AQ's mommy, falls under suspicion for stealing money from her child-King. But there is no strong evidence so Talib and Sultan AQ can't readily execute the Regent. Although Talib was looking more forward to poking her with quills and knives he had stolen from the palace chef.

We then occupy one of the Sheikh of Massat's holdings, and then engage another stack of rebels.


The war is now strongly in our favor, and the band of rebels have been broken another occupation and the war will more than likely be crushed.

Meanwhile AQ still upset that his mother would steal from him sneaks into her bedroom and smashes all of her fine china that his father had bought for her, earning him the arbitrary trait.

On May 30, 1119, just 6 months left, the rebellion ends resulting in the Sheikh of Massat being stripped of his titles and little Issa Ibrahimid being granted the lands and title.


And as you can see his dad Ibrahim is now the Grandmaster of the Knights of Santiago. So the children of Samir though they die quite frequently, have already had quite the prestigious history already.

There really isn't much else that happens that year, a few regents lose their position due to intrigue, including mother dearest, and the new Emir of Tangiers get's murdered by the former Emir's son.

In fact the most powerful people as we leave the Shaiban Sultanate are all children now. The Emir of Tangiers is a child, the Emira of Mali is a child, as well as little AQ.

So before leaving and talking about the rest of the world, here is little AQ now 8 years old and about to be handed to the loving arms of the AI.



~~~~~​

Since we've been playing in Africa the whole time we'll start our world tour with Africa.


We didn't get to unite all of Mali due to Songhai's surrender of the voodoo sticks in favor of wooden crosses. During all of this fun and excitement with the Shaiban's, we've kind of missed out on the excitement of a resurgent Nubia! Look at that! They're going for Abyssinia. I hope they continue to have good luck, it'd be quite fun seeing a powerful Nubia to carry over to EUIV.


Now to look at Iberia, where Aragon has once again taken the place of Navarra, and it seems they're in a civil war. The Rahhalid Sultanate of Andalusia has seen better days, in fact after Sultan Samir Shaiban broke away Andalusia's days were numbered. I mean when we got independence we took a huge chunk of Andalusia's economy and levies with us. So they've been fodder for Castille and Aragon.

Then, there is Galicia, currently the last Kingdom held by the Stawells, and now reduced to OPM status.


England is having issues since Queen Cuthburg of Dunbar came to the throne. The Stawells are probably trying to get it back. Meanwhile Ireland-Alba is doing good and staying stable. And of course Wales is still the same country we left behind in the year 917, just with several dynasty changes since the fall of the Cerneus. Remarkably Wales is probably our most stable creation to date, although I do have to add that Wales is ruled over by the Dutch von Haarlem dynasty now.


The Holy Breton Empire, because they're still ruled by Breton Karlings, and they have expanded eastward bit by bit. Don't ask what Castille is doing over there because I have not idea. Probably got lost somehow and just took that land so they didn't have to find their way home.

France and Aquitaine are still their usual uncontrollable unstable selves. You know kind of like those drunken uncles that are just slobs and can't get their life right? That's what France and Aquitaine in this game remind me of.

The good news is that the Papacy is back to being independent so the Catholic Byzantine Emperors have no more control over the Pope.


I can't think of much to say here. Except I hear its really cold in January up there.

Oh and no major Norse to Christian conversions yet.


I don't know why but I'm always intrigued by Perm in these screenshots. I even go look at when I pause the game to think not sure what my fascination is with them, maybe its just because its not a kingdom I see everyday.

That one blob south of Perm though is actually the Sultanate of Georgia, which is Muslim. They have some lands in Georgia, and somehow formed a blob up near Perm, not sure why, just decided to I guess.


Moving back to our old playground of the Middle East, we see that the Seljuks are disappearing fast, as the Hussayn Caliphate of Baghdad is eating them up. The Mortezids have reappeared, they used to rule Persia before the arrival of the Seljuks.

The Sunni Caliphate of the Ismailids is splintering, and splintering fast. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if the Arabian Empire soon disappears altogether or if the Sunni Caliphate gets gobbled up by the Shias.

Looking at this shot makes me wonder why Crimea is north of the Caspian Sea though? hmmmm....I bet if I sent this screenshot to CNN they'd report that everyone's been wrong about the crisis in Crimea because it isn't Crimea!


Our last stop is looking at the lands carved out by the Mihaljevics. Hungary and Bulgaria sadly split up, which I hated to see. But at least the Mihaljevics rule both kingdoms so that's a big plus.

Meanwhile look at Greece! All those independent duchies free of Emperor's and Kings, I think that is a beautiful look right there. And I personally hope they stay independent, as that will make EUIV if I manage to convert this over so much fun to watch in that area.

Which ends our world tour, and now for the the reveal of our next great host nation....

What kind of terror is the RNG going to deal this time?


The independent OPM Catholic Duchy of Sjaelland. Yep, only one of two counties in all of scandinavia that is Catholic. And to make things even more fun we aren't a vassal, and the King of Denmark, well he is also an OPM. But, we're sandwiched between the Swedish monster, and that is just no hood at all. So perhaps this turn will be as short-lived as the Shahdom of Vahid.
 

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"Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to force-convert the Norse heathens to the True Faith. This message will now self-destruct."

<Cue Mission Impossible theme music>

So you're leaving the Shaiban Sultanate as a sort of Lord of the Flies setup. I can't see anything good come from it - either the kiddies do what unsupervised kiddies do best (i.e. break stuff and be horribly nasty to each other), or some overbearing ambitious courtiers step in and muck things up. I expect some serious splintering before you're too deep into your Sjaelland turn. :)

As far as Sjaelland goes... Well, I've already said my piece. ;) I don't know if it'll last 50 years, but I'm sure it will be an eventful stay.
 

tnick0225

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"Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to force-convert the Norse heathens to the True Faith. This message will now self-destruct."

<Cue Mission Impossible theme music>

So you're leaving the Shaiban Sultanate as a sort of Lord of the Flies setup. I can't see anything good come from it - either the kiddies do what unsupervised kiddies do best (i.e. break stuff and be horribly nasty to each other), or some overbearing ambitious courtiers step in and muck things up. I expect some serious splintering before you're too deep into your Sjaelland turn. :)

As far as Sjaelland goes... Well, I've already said my piece. ;) I don't know if it'll last 50 years, but I'm sure it will be an eventful stay.
We can attempt to bring Christianity up there, but the odds will be against us I think :) And yeah the Shaiban Sultanate is definitely in a precarious position at this point. But AQ may luck out since I managed to imprison the troublemakers and strip many of them of their lands, and appoint new rulers soo, it may stabilize long enough for AQ to come of age. Although with the AI in charge I daresay it will get ripped apart.

I think Sjaelland will be entertaining, at least I hope so. I'd like to form Christian Denmark, but I don't think that'll be possible considering Sweden rules the biggest chunk. But we shall see!


With all that said, I feel as if I've lost some of my readers/commenters :(

So anyways anyone with suggestions about possible ideas on what to do with Sjaelland, let me know, or if there are any other questions, comments or concerns feel free to post, even if it is a rant against my drunken storytelling :p
 

DennisRoos

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Don't worry, I'm sure many readers are just lurking and loving what you write. I know I love your storytelling. You have this great talent of commenting and linking the events that happen to you, and always making me laugh. Now you have an OPM wrong religion country in the middle of overpowered Norse who would probably love to sacrifice you to Thor. It reminds me of CatKnights turn in Luxembourg in his AAR. Luxembourg was the only Reformed nation in the world, and all his neighbours hated him for it. He didn't last long, but let's hope you'll fare better, and bring some nice civilization and Christianity to the Danes.
 

tnick0225

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Well uniting Denmark is the obvious thing to do. Shame you aren't pagan, though, because then I'd say go for a reformation!

Actually, looking at the screenshots, Sweden will probably get in your way for uniting Denmark. Maybe expand into Pommerania?
Sweden is in the way, they have their big ole blobbing self surrounding me. So Pommerania perhaps...but they're stronger than they look they're just in the midst of a civil war when those map screenshots were taken if I remember right. But it is an idea. I guess I could go north and attempt to unite Norway but that'd probably bring Sweden into the war if I do Holy Wars so hmm.....

Don't worry, I'm sure many readers are just lurking and loving what you write. I know I love your storytelling. You have this great talent of commenting and linking the events that happen to you, and always making me laugh. Now you have an OPM wrong religion country in the middle of overpowered Norse who would probably love to sacrifice you to Thor. It reminds me of CatKnights turn in Luxembourg in his AAR. Luxembourg was the only Reformed nation in the world, and all his neighbours hated him for it. He didn't last long, but let's hope you'll fare better, and bring some nice civilization and Christianity to the Danes.
I imagine you're right and they are simply lurking, which is quite alright. I just like it when I change turns to get a few more comments so I don't leave too many people behind :)

I don't know if I'd call it a talent, probably more the vodka doing the talking than anything since it destroys those inhibitions. My Welf and Milan AARs usually are written while not slightly intoxicated so those are a lot more serious and solemn.

I'm sure we will witness some sacrificing at the sacred blot though. I don't think this spot is AS bad as Catknight's Luxembourg though, I do have the HRE to my south and if I'm lucky and the character has a daughter or two I may be able to snag an alliance that could allow me to steamroll everyone. But we shall see. I guess if I can't bring Christianity to Denmark or Scandinavia I may just have to get on a boat and go find a new playground for our Sjaellanders.

***Going to pour a drink, and may write the next chapter tonight if I get to feeling frisky.
 

TheDeaconBosco

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Yeah, I've been lurking as well... I mean, it's actually kinda hard to comment when you really don't have to say other than just praise. I've really been enjoying your tenure as the Shaiban sultans, and I wish that it only was more successful in it's endeavours.

Seems like it's time for you to bring the holy word in an other godforsaken place, kinda seems suspicious, two times in a row. :eek:
 

tnick0225

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Part 7.0 - Sjaelland

@TheDeaconBosco: Why thank you! I guess saying "Good update" would get a little redundant. I just wanted to see if everyone was caught up to current before moving on to be honest. But yeah the RNG isn't taking me to any pagans or muslims sadly, I think it may have been fun getting like a Norwegian pagan like Trondelag and forming Norway, and going after Sweden, but sadly the RNG does not wish it! Although with Sjaelland I doubt I'll be doing much bringing the word of god to Scandinavia.

@TheLastSamovar: Glad to hear it! Hope you continue to enjoy it.

~~~~~
Part 7.0 - Sjaelland




Our new character, is King Severin "the fat" af Bornholm, he's on his third or fourth wife, as the women don't seem to last very long on this little island. Luckily for us he has three unmarried daughters which means we can start forming some alliances. Unfortunately there aren't any good alliances available at the moment. We have one son, Mikkel, which means the af Bornholm dynasty is in the same precarious position that the Shaiban Sultanate was in most of the time we were in Mauretania. I could matrilineal marry the oldest daughter of mine but I don't like doing that.

So we'll roll the dice and hope Mikkel can stay alive long enough to have a son. And here is a shot of what our young dynasty currently looks like.


A closer look at our surrounding area shows a pretty dire situation.


We're pretty much completely surrounded by Swedish Norse Pagans, in a way like we were while playing as Tvrdoslav when he ruled the County of Verazdin. Only problem is Sweden is stable, where as the unified Hungarian Polish Thrones at the time of Verazdin stint had splintered do to religious differences between the Tengris and Slavs.

Our options are a bit limited. We could go after Skane, since we have a weak claim on it, and it is ruled over by a little girl, meaning we can press that claim pretty much whenever we want. But, for some reason the Countess of Skane has a large 4,000 strong levy or retinue or event stack sitting there, which is way more men than we can muster by like 4 times the amount.

So, we're stuck. I guess our only real option is holy war OPM Denmark to take the island of Bornholm and destroy the Danish Kingdom title in the process. But this would also have the undesired affect of bringing Sweden into the war, so I'll have to wait till Sweden and Denmark fight each other, if that even will ever happen.

First I betroth my fourth daughter to Prince Karadeg of the Holy Bretonian Empire. And then decide to go on a pilgrimage because we're going to need the piety.


Not a whole lot happens with the pilgrimage, except for the fact that I manage to pick up the arbitrary trait.

After returning from the pilgrimage, we get reports that the vikings have accidentally stumbled upon Greenland. Which reports say is slightly icier than Iceland.


Severin over joyed to be home from the pilgrimage takes time out of his day of ruling our little island to tumble with the wife. Note to self, only tumble with the wife, because extra-marital affairs always result in death!

But she get's pregnant.


As you notice, she's a lowborn wench. But after three unsuccessful marriages you can't blame our fat king for going after a serving wench. As we'll see in the future, he's been married to some familiar dynasties. Married a Karling as his first wife, she died quickly, then a Mihaljevic princess, and then a Berkeley of whom was the granddaughter of the Berkeley that Kind Indy in Ireland granted the Duchy of Wessex to. I kind of wonder if any of them died do to being crushed when Fat Severin rolled over in bed....hmmm...

Apparently the Norse were tricked about Greenlands name and many settlers headed to that frigid chunk of ice. I'm sure they'll come back eventually though.


We're only a year in at this point and I'm preparing for a long boring game, when I notice the OPM king of Denmark, is embroiled in a war with Sweden. Just the thing I wanted to happen!


May this war be as simple and painless as it appears it should be.

Oh and as a sidenote the King of Denmark's name is Grim II. Which considering his position, is beyond fitting. I'd be pretty Grim living on the island of Bornholm all by my lonesome as well.

The first battle of the war is a small laughable affair where 1300 of our men stumble upon a whopping 23 of King Grim's elite guard. They're all slaughtered of course, after they killed 5 of my men.

A week after that amazingly epic battle, the Jarl of Jylland (a Swedish vassal) see's his chance and declares war for Sjaelland.


Unfortunately for Jarl Harald of Jylland, he would not be the one honored with victory in this war. For he got a wee bit too excited about coming and smashing the Fat Severin, and managed to trip and fall upon his own sword while running out to join his men.

Of course the songs will say he was slain by some great Christian Holy Order, but songs never tell the truth. Instead, his son Jarl Helgi would take up the mantle of Jylland and march on our Fat Severin.


Two more weeks would pass while I'm sitting here wondering if I'm going to get a game over soon. I hire a band of mercenaries and send them to the Island of Bornholm to help with our siege. And pray that it goes fast enough that we at least have Bornholm to fall back on if Sjaelland get's taken.

Which is when my wife gives birth to a daughter named Dorothea.


Why can I not have any boys! This has been bad luck for a while. Really wish the RNG would smile upon me a little bit sometime.

The OPM Stawell King of Galicia then sends word that he would be happy to join in our defense. Which I laugh because honestly what good would Galicia be for us anyway? Why did I even ally with them of all people? Oh well, if they send a few hundred men it'd be worth it I suppose.

Of course the Norse then discover Vinland.


In October of 1121, Pope Gregory VII "the Monk" dies and Pope Theodore III takes the helm of the Catholic world.

More time would pass and in February we would occupy Hammerhus the main holding of Bornholm which also brings our warscore to 100.


Sjaelland itself, our capital, is being besieged by 3,000 of Jarl Helgi's men, so I decide to send all of my men over there thinking I can win the battle. I momentarily forgot we'd be at terrain disadvantage due to island hopping.


This causes my men to rout and go wondering off to lick their wounds, not too mention the fact that our treasury is almost completely depleted, meaning I'm sure our mercenaries are bound to rise up to invade us as well.

Things are looking pretty grim, and I'm sure the exiled King Grim of Denmark is laughing at us.

In July, Jarl Helgi captures our capital, and along with a daughter of mine of which he decides to add insult to injury by making her one of his concubines.


Things are not looking good for the long term survival of Severin the Fat. In fact I'm sure this is about to go the way of the Vahid Shahdom. So I will leave this update here, and ponder what on earth I should do to try and save the Fat King of Sjaelland.
 

mike the knight

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you shall retreat to new conquered land and be laughable by your defeated enemy :p This is the only way
 

verdas

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Just caught up after a while; what a fun read.

You really got to start matri-marrying the eldest daughter (and maybe even number two as well). It provides a safety net and in the event your son survives to the throne it'll give you some extra dynasty members to work with.

As LordEnglish said, swearing fealty, while it might be distasteful, actually makes sense when you're a OPM surrounded by hostile powers. Although the HBE might be a tad too far away to be plausible. You could conceivably swear fealty to the pagans, since they won't have the crown authority to revoke your titles ever.

On a side note, in reference to your last adventure in the Maghreb, I had a Saudi roommate named Yahya one summer; it's the Arabization of John, actually. A lot of Arab names are like that, some just more obvious than others (Dawud, Ya'qob)
 

Stuyvesant

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Maybe it will be Severin's lot to always be on the run, always capturing that next OPM right before the Swedes take his previous holding. At least you have plenty of daughters to pawn off as concubines to keep going for a while still. :p
 

tnick0225

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@mike the knight: A retreat is sounding more and more likely.

@LordEnglish: You know I'm starting to warm to the idea of swearing fealty to someone. Unfortunately I can't until this war is finished which means I may be reduced to the island of Bornholm, which will in all essence destroy this turn as it only has 2 holdings...so I need a miracle at the moment :)

@verdas: Glad to see you back! I agree I should matri-marry daughters especially the oldest just in case. But it's sort of one of those handicaps I've placed on myself lately, I used to matri marry daughters a lot, but then I'd have huge huge huge dynasties that were beyond unmanageable not too mention that there was never a risk of an unfortunate even ending the game. So I've quit matri-marrying. Now if my heir is a girl when she turns 16 I'll highly consider a matrilineal marriage.

And this may be the rare instance where I actually will swear fealty. Going to attempt staying indy and see if alliances will be good enough to keep myself afloat, but if things head any further south than where they're at already I may swear fealty to Pommerania or something...we will see.

I guess Yahya = John kind of makes sense, I never even put two and two together, but considering the pronunciation of Yahya seems pretty closely related to the Spanish and Portuguese versions of John: Juan and Joao (sp?), why I never made the connection to John because of that I don't know lol...an oversight I suppose.

@Stuyvesant: Severin the fat always running for eternity, if it is his lot I suppose its simply God wanting him to get more exercise! And well I'm sure we'll be seeing more concubines happening in the future at this rate :)