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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Stuyvesant

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Some Norse decide to raid and I attack them sending them back to their ships. I capture a guy named Toke. As I ponder what to do with this lowly norse character I realize I haven't executed anyone since being the Caliph. I miss executing people!!!

We then chop off old Toke's head.

<Chop>

I don't know why but that makes me think of little Lord Arryn in GoT where he's always yelling at Tyrion, "Make the bad man FLY!" I can just picture little Indrechtach yelling and screaming that all the while Fergus is telling jokes and Sabd is counting down the days until we hit puberty.
Lovely series of images. :) Ireland is doing well, despite the high turnover rate in leadership. I must applaud Sabd's concerted efforts to slut her way to the top, but I wonder if she's a walking cesspit of infectious disease. Probably in Indy's best interest to steer clear from the woman (even further than he already has - he can't have caught his bout of illness from a precocious bout of tumbling - at least I hope he hasn't: he's five now?)

I swear if he dies...
You'll have to kill him? <Ba-dum tish>
 

tnick0225

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Part 4.3 - Ireland

Lovely series of images. :) Ireland is doing well, despite the high turnover rate in leadership. I must applaud Sabd's concerted efforts to slut her way to the top, but I wonder if she's a walking cesspit of infectious disease. Probably in Indy's best interest to steer clear from the woman (even further than he already has - he can't have caught his bout of illness from a precocious bout of tumbling - at least I hope he hasn't: he's five now?)

You'll have to kill him? <Ba-dum tish>
Ireland is on the rise! Darn dying rulers though! And I'll do my best to keep little Indy away from that Crovan slut...she may wile her way in with her womanly charms though, which makes me wonder what's going through a woman's head that sleeps with three generations of men? I mean grandpa dad maybe the son...lordy lordy I'd hate to be Sabd's hubby, I'm sure he is quite the cuckold.

Anyway I think Indy is between 5 and 7 to be honest I can't remember. And yeah if he dies I will have to kill him! And well if he does die we'll almost be at a game over as the heir is a female married to the Haarlems in Holland. In fact there's two Haarlem pretenders now! Which probably isn't a good thing having some Dutch kids waiting to steal my land from me.

But anyways I think its time to do another update...

~~~~~
Part 4.3 - Ireland​



King Indy of Ireland is sick, very very sick. I'm beginning to think his aunt may succeed to the throne soon if he dies, which could lead to a Dutch takeover of Ireland in the form of the von Haarlem dynasty. This would be bad, and would result in our first ever Game Over should it come to pass. Fearing the possibilities the game decides to give me a way out of this nightmare in the form of some pious monks at a local Irish monastery.


The chances aren't all that good that it will work, but it is better than a jab in the eye with a stick. And besides I've had worse odds come true. Like my hunting expedition in my Welf AAR as King Welf III of Bavaria, where a 5% chance to be eaten alive by wolves actually happened. You have no idea how pissed I was when the screen popped up saying the wolves had had the King for dinner. So 30% chance seems like a for sure thing in my book.


And thank the blessed virgin, and no that isn't Countess Sabd if you were wondering.

Paradox throws us a bone with this one, Indy is healed!!! Now I don't need to fret over a Dutch takeover for the time being. So while I ponder I look at possible betrothals and find a young duchess of Kent, 10 years older than Indy, but should he inherit Wessex, this would be an amazing marriage. It would give future generations complete control of England's southern coast which would in effect weaken the Stawell regime a great deal. So off goes that betrothal. Hopefully she won't piss her liege off in meantime.

Meanwhile Indy's mommy the Duchess of Wessex calls him into war against the King Ealdwulf II of England. I say no mom I don't want to fight the mean English today and let her sink on her own. Besides she remarried some guy with the surname of Dingwall which is just too much for me to handle. And if she loses the war and is thrown in prison it means she'll die much faster speeding up our inheritance of Wessex.

Having shown mother dearest who is boss Indy becomes proud.


And after becoming proud our little boy-king becomes bff's with his mentor.


While Mayor Iacob and Indy are schmoozing it up at the local Irish pub listening to good ole Irish music getting hammered they formulate a plan to get the Stawell Duke of Connacht to swear fealty to the Crown. I mean what could go wrong?


Apparently the Duke of Connacht is still a little bit angry about the time King Indy slapped him at recess and says "NO!" to vassalization. Indy and Iacob being drunk grow a bit bitter and angry over this slight, and plan retribution in the form of a manure bomb. But its really just drunken blather because such a plot never comes to fruition.

The former Regent of Ireland and now independent de Wexford Count of Argyll decides to go on a Holy War in hopes of purging the Norse blight in Scotland. He calls Indy into the war. The boy king really wanting to have more bad Norse pagans to behead says sure we will send the Irish to fight with you dearest uncle.


At that time I didn't notice Sweden was involved. This isn't an intelligent war due to that.

While the Armies of Ireland are marching off to Scotland Indy decides he hates learning Latin, because honestly who wants to know what those darn priests are talking about during their sermons anyway, and gains the slothful trait.

He then decides much to Mayor Iacob's urging that all he will eat for now on are delicious sweets and pies and cakes, not too mention drink that wonderfully sour beer at the local pub, and gains the slothful trait.

Apparently our tutor is doing a wonderful job giving Indy bad traits, but that makes things more fun anyway so I won't complain.

Reports come in of a few successful battles but the Swedes haven't entered the war just yet. When they do all the gains we've made will fall apart rather quickly. But at that point in the game I was still clueless as to the Swedes entering the fray.

While watching the joint forces of Argyll and Ireland kick Norse ass I get quite the happy message from Wessex.


Some Anglo-Saxon named Eadburh (whoever that is) decided to kill mother dearest. Not sure if that Anglo knew that such an assassination would result in Wessex becoming an Irish domain or not, but regardless I inherit.

We get our first land in England. Which will prove to be a point of contention in the future. Seeing that this could potentially lead to a very bad war, I send my chancellor off to London to go sweet talk the Stawell King.

Meanwhile a siege and several more battles swing our way, driving Argyll's warscore to 36% but that's as high as it will go I'm afraid. As now it will start going in the opposite direction for the Swedish Norse have landed!

Seeing the inevitability of the war and not enjoying the fact that my 4,000 men would get demolished by Sweden's 8,000 I immediately disband and say see you later to the Count of Argyll.

Upon this happening a lady named Benedicta would challenge our current regent to a duel. Werestan the Regent would lose, but the way he lost was rather hilarious. Both he and Benedicta wounded each other at the same time. Only Werestan would die first. Benedicta would die two days later of the wound. So two Regents dead in one day, and now Ireland is onto its fourth Regent.


Seems being Regent is more of a revolving door than being King.

I then look back over in England and discover that my betrothed the Duchess of Kent, has mysteriously vanished and been replaced by some guy named Magnus. I get a little upset and enact the manure bomb me and Iacob had discussed to use against the brat in Connacht.

It succeeds, doesn't help me any though. Just satisfied a craving to kill the guy that deposed our betrothed. Now I will have to try and discover someone else to marry.

Due to court intrigue that such a young man can't understand as it has nothing to do with a haughty nanny named Sabd or an alcoholic mentor named Iacob, or a jester named Duke Fergus the Liberator, a Regent gets sacked and now we're onto our Fifth Regent.

Sorry I'm not keeping track of their names, it changed so often that it was rather pointless to even care.


The brat in Connacht came of age and saw the errors of his ways finally and bent the knee adding yet another county into little Indy's position.


To celebrate I decide to create the Duchy of Ulster, and hand it over to some lowly count there that I've enjoyed playing with at recess named Ainmere de Maughold.


Now all Indy has to do is declare war against Wales to capture that tiny County on the Northeastern side of the island and Ireland will be completely united and we can then focus our attention elsewhere. Like to Scotland!

Unfortunately the Earl of Desmond has other plans. He had formed a cabal with our nanny Sabd who was getting more and more excited about how close we were getting to reaching puberty. But apparently she too got sick of waiting and threw her support to the Earl of Desmond who decided it would be quite fun to support an aunt of Indy's for the Irish throne.


I think Sabd was supporting this merely to see those Dutch kids brought to Ireland, maybe she was getting tired of us Irish males of the Wexford clan.

But regardless we have a bad revolt on our hands now. And even the Duke of Connacht would join in the fun. Half of our nation was at war with us!

I'm shaking my head right now, but at least we have gold and lots of it so mercenaries can save the day.


Oh yeah and Regent number five gets thrown out on his butt and is replaced by number six.

We then get notified that Argyll's Holy War ended in defeat. This is sad, but it was inevitable I wasn't willing to hire enough mercs for that war so in a way the failure there is all mine. But strategically it is a good thing because it left us with enough finances and manpower to prosecute this rebellion against the lustful nanny Sabd, the angry teenage Duke of Connacht, and our evil Count vassal of Desmond.


Indy's men are assembled and they take the field and begin engaging the rebels. The war starts out rather successfully.


Without even occupying any holdings we get to 44 warscore which should be enough for a white peace.

During these battles Mayor Iacob decides to quit giving us bad traits and makes little Indy Brave, because well a King in a war needs to brave!


I then sue for a white peace, bringing the Earl of Desmond into my prison.


I go to revoke his County so that way I'll own all the land in the de jure region of Munster. But I'm told I can't because I have autonomous vassals. I'll have to raise CA so I can begin reconfiguring Irish duchies.

Which is where we will end this update. Survived a civil war, managed to be healed by the god fearing monks. Perhaps Indy will live a long time! Not to mention that we now control Wessex which is a good slap on the face to the King of the England as that used to be their powerbase.

The year is now 1037, and we have 30 years left. Which should be plenty of time to take that last chunk of Irish land from the Welsh and begin our move into Scotland to evict the Norse. Hasn't been the most challenging playthrough but at least the events have been entertaining enough.

 

mike the knight

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Little Indy has some luck actually but hunting accidents are on the way when he reaches adulthood :p
 

tnick0225

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Part 4.4 - Ireland

Little Indy has some luck actually but hunting accidents are on the way when he reaches adulthood :p
He has gotten lucky...hopefully that luck continues.

~~~~~
Part 4.4 - Ireland​



So the war against Indy's rebellious vassals has come to an end. And with it came the news that Pope Adeodatus III "the lame" had died and was succeeded by Pope Sergius III. I'm kind of liking this new SoA Papal rework. Lots of Popes come and go and don't reign for a very long time. Which is nice.

Following the announcement of the Pope's death I get told that Matad "the Liberator" of the Isles, he led a Christian revolt against the Norse King there, had usurped the Stawell crown of the Isles that had formerly been held by the Duke of Connacht. Which is quite alright as the Duke of Connacht owned no land in the Isles anyway. Speaking of which, the Duke of Connacht needs to go to my prison for helping out the Earl of Desmond in the civil war.


And Duke Crimthann the Fat also needs to be put in the dungeon for the same crimes.


Crimthann immediately begins complaining about the hospitality in our dungeon. Apparently he wanted a pillow and mattress instead of hay and rats. I tell him he can rot in there for all I care. I would have put him in the Oubliette but he needs to survive until I get the proper CA level so that I can revoke his ducal title.

Indy's Chancellor then informs us that the English King Ealdwulf II "the Drunkard" has seen us in a more favorable light increasing his feelings for us by 30 points. This is a good thing but apparently it doesn't help much since he still has -19 opinion of Indy. I'm sure this means he'll be trying to steal Wessex from us soon.


Indy's Chaplain decides he wants to follow the Waldensian faith and tries to convince our little boy king of the virtues of the heresy. Indy sends him to prison as well. And having not seen anyone burn at the stake Indy decides its time to have a campfire outside the castle.

Whoosh!

Flames! Smell of burning flesh and a Chaplain squealing like a roasting pig.

Indy then discovers the useful for peasants. He goes to his drinking buddy Mayor Iacob and informs him of his new insights into all things peasant, claiming all their really good for is following his demands.

Iacob fully agrees and tells Indy he will make a fine young Arbitrary ruler someday.


Iacob is doing a mighty fine job raising Indy isn't he?

After the burning of our Chaplain at the steak and realizing the only usefulness for peasants is to do whatever the little King wishes, Indy becomes known as "the Bold". I was shooting for the Ill-Ruler, or the Wicked, or something more oh I don't know, along the lines of the nicknames we got while playing as the Caliphate. Not sure how the Bold works for Indy but it'll work I suppose.


Indy and Iacob got a good laugh about the nickname the Bold, and decided it was simply because those simple-minded peasants were easily fooled. Thus, Iacob gave Indy the Deceitful trait.


Oh I forgot to mention a while ago that Countess Sabd had inherited a random county in the heart of France. So there is a small green province down there in Vexin that is now owned by us Irish. How that happened is completely and totally beyond me. But if you look closely at the screenshot of England that shows Indy as being called the Bold, then you will see that tiny little green splotch down there in France.

The first real test of Indy's reign then begins. As the Drunkard King of England finally decides it is time to declare war for the County of Wessex.


This is far from good. I really am not in a position to defend that land sadly. But I'll give it a go. I call up my levies, which will prove to be a huge mistake. As I focus on my Irish levies, after getting the levies from Wessex into a unified group. Stupid mistake, because I took my eye off the ball with that one. Before I can do anything the English engage my forces over there in Wessex and I don't have the time to bring in reinforcements.

This results in a humiliating defeat at the Battle of Winchester.


With the destruction of that group of levies, there is absolutely no way I'll be able to fight the English. In other words Indy is screwed! We're going to lose this war no matter what. So I give up on even considering sending my levies over their to defend. Instead I disband them and send them home. Its better to know you've been defeated then to go bankrupt futilely trying to turn the tides of a disaster.

So while I allow the Drunkard to occupy Wessex, little Indy turns 16, and is no longer a little guy anymore.


Those traits are pretty special I must say. Mayor Iacob did a wonderful job.

With Indy turning 16, I can now raise Crown Authority so I can finally punish those pesky rebels. So up goes CA.


How is the Drunkard's occupation of Wessex going? Rather well...


Its almost time to concede defeat and end this stupid war.

Meanwhile I get notified that the Shia Caliphate has decided to arise once again. Apparently it had been destroyed in the Seljuk invasion and the subsequent Abbasid subjugation of Persia.

This uprising of the Shia's would prove to deal a fatal blow to our beloved Caliphates. Who is Caliph right now anyway? Some guy named Ismat II "the Lionheart", an Abbasid, who apparently decided to rule a bit more even handedly then his predecessors. Unfortunately while fighting off the Shia Uprising he's also fighting off a Decadence rebellion. So that Muslim Superpower I had built, is about to disintegrate, almost 80 years of having left.

The unfortunate part is it will become the first realm I've built to collapse thus far in the game. Which is pretty sad to see. I mean Wales is still alive, although ruled by a completely different dynasty, the Pecking Pest is still there doing its usual Pest type of thing. The Abbasid Caliphate however is about to disappear.

While thinking about all the good times I had playing in Baghdad both in the game and in real life, I react harshly. I go on a revoking spree.

Earl of Desmond, yep your now landless! Thank you for that County though.

Duke Stawell of Connacht yep taking your County so that you lose your Ducal title too.

Duke Crimthann the Fat, yeah you can no longer call yourself a Duke either. Taking that and giving it to someone else and appointing them as a Duke so that I can ransom the now demoted Earl Crimthann the Fat back to the new Duke.

I like how that works. Punish them and then ransom them. Its like a double reward.

Although it would have been way more fun to execute them.

After all those administrative tasks, I tell the drunkard of England that I'm tired of getting the pop ups saying he's occupied more land of mine. So I hand Wessex over to him.


To celebrate the defeat I pick a random Countess in the Duchy of Wessex, and name her Duchess over our two remaining territories there, and grant her independence. Let the Drunkard chew on that for a while!

Besides holding that region although it sounded good was going to be an ungodly disaster no matter what. I'd have to fight the English again in 10 years and I have other plans. I don't need to be tied down by a silly war for a silly county in a land that I can't reasonably hold at the moment. So losing Wessex though it hurts, isn't all that bad as it will allow me to focus solely on moving into Scotland.

After the peace with England Indy celebrates by getting married to a Princess of the Holy Roman Empire.


I'm beginning to feel like I solely marry Karlings. But oh well its fun, gives me some protection as well.

I then call for a grand tournament, as I await it to begin I get a really bad itch. I'd just lost to the English and I want to win a war now. I'm thirsty! Thirsty for the blood of peasants.

Thus Indy declares war on Wales for Tyrconnel and lets everyone know that the Tournament was a joke and will be suspended.

As I gather my forces to go occupy the Welsh holding in Ireland, I get a pop up saying the peasants are pissed about the tournament being canceled and are revolting. Apparently they were looking forward to seeing noblemen spill each other's blood and were rather upset about the table being turned on them.

With the peasants on the rampage, I decide to sit back and finish my siege of one of the Welsh holdings.


When it falls Indy sends his men off to deal with the peasants. They are crushed and surrender.


I then send the troops back to finish occupying Tyrconnel, which goes rather smoothly. During that process however, Indy's wife gets pregnant and gives birth to their first child, a daughter named Lerthan.

After occupying all of the holdings I send my men off into Scotland to march through English territory to invade Wales Proper. While they're doing this they get intercepted by a larger Welsh contingent and are crushed. Its a humiliating defeat. And lowers our warscore from 35% to -8%.

However, luckily the Welsh King sent terms of surrender before the end of the battle. So acting quickly I accept the peace terms and annex Tyrconnel before the proposition expires.


I think this is the first time I've ever "won" a war while the warscore was negative. Guess the Welsh King should have kept his pants on and waited before sending those terms.

I'm not going to complain, as its a very good thing that we won, as Ireland is now unified under Indy's crown.

I then order a tournament to be held. And curious about whats going on over in our old playground of the Pecking Pest I find that the Byzantine Empire has a new Empress once again.


Yes, Empress Theognosia Skleros has returned to her Imperial Throne. And her heir apparent is none other than a Mihaljevic. It seems that the our time in the Pecking Pest, may very well turn out to be the most successful turn we've had thus far. Especially if things hold true, and the Mihaljevic ascends the Imperial Throne. That chance of a Mihaljevic restoration of the ERE is looking more and more likely.

With that in mind the year is now 1047, meaning we are down 20 years left in Ireland. Which in itself has already been a successful run. Ireland is already unified, now all we need to do is conquer Scotland and form that crown. Probably won't have enough time to conquer all of it, but who knows it could happen.
 

mike the knight

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Focus on Skotland! Wessex does not deserve the lifes of noble Irishmen! I dreamed off a Mihaljevic ascension I must admit :p
 

TSSL

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This AAR continues to please.
Could we see some screenshots related to the Abbasid collapse? Map of what's left and then its successors? Character page for Ismat II?
 

tnick0225

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@mike the knight: Yeah needed to do a strategic retreat from English de jure territories. But we will definitely be focusing on Scotland. And hopefully the Mihaljevic's will ascend, it is looking promising as of right now.

@TSSL: Glad that it does! As of right now the Abbasids are still in civil war and decadence revolt, along with the Shia uprising thing, so no screenshots of it's successors yet. However this is the best shot of Caliph Ismat II's character page I have. Unfortunately the stats part was covered up by the Shia Uprising event screen.


Once the dust settles over there I will definitely show a shot of what things are looking like, probably be in the next update or the one after that but it will be here soon :)

@Hiryuu: It was a tough decision I spent a good ten to fifteen minutes thinking about what to do about Wessex on pause. Just decided that giving it up would be more beneficial than having to fight tooth and nail against England for it every ten years. But the Irish shall continue to move on! Our new focus will Scotland, which should be entertaining. Perhaps I'll be able to get the de Wexfords a second crown! :)
 

tnick0225

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Part 4.5 - Ireland

Part 4.5 - Ireland​



This time I don't cancel the Grand Tournament just to go to war. We host the tournament and watch the pop ups over so and so dying and getting wounded.


The tournament turns out to be fairly bloody. The Duke of Leinster gets wounded in the Championship round of it and comes in second to the son of a local Earl in Ulster. The Earl of Connacht that I had appointed after stripping the Stawell Duke of his titles also gets wounded and subsequently dies from those wounds without an heir. Due to this his money and lands all become mine. So I have to admit I was pleased with the result of the Tournament.

Not all that often you hold a tournament and gain some land and money.

With the influx of cash from the Earl's death I decide its time to make our first move into Scotland, by declaring a Holy War for the Isles.


Eight months pass after declaring war and the war progresses quickly and without anything of note to report before our sieges start finishing.


After the war has been going on for a year our steward collects a tithe for us, the second such tithe in less than a year totaling in over 80 gold made there.

Two small battles against the Norse Pagans occur which were easily won, pushing the warscore into the 90s and forcing Count Eirikr of Atholl into surrendering.


The dust settles and our troops return home. I sit back and look at all I've accomplished as Ireland already quite pleased with the Kingdom I've built, and begin wondering what kind of fun places I'll be visiting in 20 more years. Hopefully somewhere a bit more challenging, because right now I think Ireland has been a wee bit boring. Especially since our King hasn't died in any weird ways, and since Sabd hasn't tried to rape Indy yet.

But moving on to other news.

Pope Leo V dies of severe stress. Old Leo V was the first Anglo-Saxon Pope we've had in game which is kind of cool yet another reason why I like SoA and glad I purchased that DLC. He is succeeded by an Italian, Pope Theodore II di Bergamo.


Theodore II is the fifth Pope we've had since arriving here in the Emerald Isle.

After looking at the Papacy and wondering what the new Pope will do, I notice that the HRE has erupted into a brutal civil war. I look at what the rebellions are and come to discover that the major one is to install the Stawell King of England upon the Holy Roman Empire's throne. That is the last thing we want to see. Having England hold the Empire would be a disaster. A huge huge disaster.

So I pull up the drunken English King's character screen and decide it is time to save the world from an Anglo-Saxon take over, by starting an assassination plot. A lot of people join in immediately, apparently the English are not too fond of their drunken king either.

In November of 1049 I'm notified that our plot is ready and the King should be dead in a fortnight.


King Ealdwulf II "the Drunkard" dies from our lone bowman, and the world celebrates thinking the civil war in the HRE would now be over. But we were wrong, the war still rages. And it seems that its now in favor of Ealdwulf's daughter Queen Maud of England. Frustrated I start swearing at my computer, I cannot have an English-HRE union!!!

So I open up another plot to assassinate the new Queen Maud. If successful we would see the de Poitou family ascend to the English Throne in the form of Prince Guilhem.

This is would be a much better succession, Guilhem has no claim to the Empire and is a little boy. He'd make a good King of England I think.

While I await the assassination a few things happen.

The Duke of Leinster, who was wounded during our tournament falls over dead due to stress. Or maybe it was the wound. The game got a little confused about which had killed him. But either way he was dead, and his son Duke Fergus II came to rule over Leinster.


After the funeral for Fergus II's daddy, my wife offers to give me Stewardship advice. Because you know women love controlling your checkbook. See if I took stewardship advice from my RL wife, it would involve something like this:

"Honey, you need to quit buying alcohol and cigarettes and going to Starbucks, you'd save hundreds every month if you quit those things." I would remain silent because if I did quit those things that savings would go to something like, more visits to the salon for the wife, probably a few new pairs of shoes and you know more shopping trips for the wifey.

So I can't imagine Indy getting advice from his wife would technically help the exchequer of Ireland, but perhaps women in those ages were better at saving money due to there being no malls to go get lost in stores with massive amounts of PINK for hours on end.


After the wife gets her hand on all our money, word comes in that our assassins are ready to kill Queen Maud. I give the go ahead and again our bowman kills her.


As I sit back happy with my involvement in ending a civil war in the HRE as well as saving the world from the Anglo-Saxon takeover, I realize that Indy still hasn't created a suitable heir. Right now we have a female successor my daughter Lerthan, she'd make a good queen but the last thing I want is to leave Ireland with a Queen. Nothing against Queens I'd just rather use Lerthan as an Alliance maker instead of grooming her to become a Queen and securing a non-useful matrilineal marriage.

So I change my succession law to Agnatic Primogeniture. Changing this means some random dude named Crimthann de Wexford becomes my heir. Who is this guy?


He lives in the King of Italy's court as a martial or something, but anyway my heir Crimthann is always wandering about Italy causing mischief. He's an Irishman in a strange land. But that doesn't tell us why exactly he is my heir.

Apparently he is a cousin or distant 2nd cousin. Remember Indy's former regent the Count of Argyll who I had granted Independence after he started a faction for independence? Well Crimthann is the former Regent/Count of Argyll's eldest son. So I guess that properly explains why he would be my heir currently.

My precocious daughter Lerthan, having heard Indy talking about not having a male heir asks him where exactly do baby's come from. I get tempted to slap her and tell her to shut up. But instead tell her to wait until she gets older. Which gives her the diligent trait.

Time continues to tick away rather boringly, and in September of 1052, Indy's wife becomes pregnant. Two days after finding out she's pregnant, Indy declares a Holy War for Strathclyde, because well he simply doesn't want to be home while his wifey's hormones are raging.


A few weeks after declaring our war for Strathclyde the King of Poitou calls us into war for against the King of France. I think about declining for a moment, then remember that I'd be better off accepting the war and just not committing troops to Aquitaine's cause.

Our troops are then gathered and engage in the first battle of the war against the Norse. Where 5900 of our men clash with 1100 Norse at the Battle of Coleraine. We win a huge victory completely destroying the Pagan army and only losing 111 men. With this victory we are free to lay siege to Strathclyde's holdings.

As our sieges are progressing Indy's wife goes into labor and gives birth to another girl named Una.


The rest of the year of 1053 is filled with occupations of the Norse lands of Strathclyde.


Before we can enforce the surrender of Strathclyde I get notified that some random guy is planning an adventure to steal Indy's crown.


I let the adventurer recruit his men in peace. Indy has bigger fish to worry about right now anyway. Which is when Strathclyde surrenders.


Indy can't hold Strathclyde as his own though. It would push us over our demesne limit and gives us a third ducal title which would anger our vassals. So I decide to try and choose a good man to name Duke of Strathclyde.

I go back and look at who had won the tournament. Artgal de Leighlin was the champion and I decide it is time to give him his reward by elevating him to Duke of Strathclyde.


I like trying to give land to a champion or runner-up in the tournaments, in a way I feel like it is a bit of RPing, although I don't know if anyone that actually won those types of things was ever rewarded with such a high station. But regardless its fun elevating random guys to Dukedoms especially if they accomplished something like Artgal had.

My half-brother Raegenweald Stawell requests a fief of his own to govern. Apparently he was a little miffed about not being given Clydesdale. I tell him to shut up and go away. There is no way in hell I'd give more land to the Stawell family.

As I sit back and think about what to do next I realize something a bit disturbing. The little King of England Guilhem de Poitou, is the grandson of the King of Aquitaine, and therefore second-in-line to the Kingdom of Aquitaine after his father. Which means England may inherit the majority of France in the future. Apparently my attempt to destroy the Anglo-Saxon takeover of the HRE has backfired, as England is still in line to unite a major European crown.

This time I decide not to kill the little kid. I've killed too many people to try and prevent such bad things happening. So instead I will let the AI try to sort things out on its own. Besides I highly doubt the Anglo-Saxons in England will allow a de Poitou to stay upon the throne for long.

After a while late in 1054, I get an event to ban markets in Church Squares. I enact the ban even though it hurts my tax income.


With that out of the way, I begin getting bored.

I look around the world and notice nothing special happening right now. Save for the fact that England has risen up in Civil War to depose the de Poitou King. Seeing my chance, its time to seize some land from England. I have de jure claims on their county of Clydesdale via the Duchy of Strathclyde now owned by Artgal II, Champion of the Irish Tournament.

Knowing I won't be able to take Clydesdale when the wars end, I declare my own war against the English pressing Artgal II's de jure claims. This is my chance to not only take land from England, but also help weaken the King, so that he can be deposed, and from there prevent the ability of England from inheriting Aquitaine.

Hopefully this war will go as smoothly as I plan. But that shall be covered in the next update, along with some other interesting world events that the Irish will involve themselves in.
 

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He has gotten lucky...hopefully that luck continues.
This time I don't cancel the Grand Tournament just to go to war. We host the tournament and watch the pop ups over so and so dying and getting wounded.


The tournament turns out to be fairly bloody. The Duke of Leinster gets wounded in the Championship round of it and comes in second to the son of a local Earl in Ulster. The Earl of Connacht that I had appointed after stripping the Stawell Duke of his titles also gets wounded and subsequently dies from those wounds without an heir. Due to this his money and lands all become mine.
Hopefully somewhere a bit more challenging, because right now I think Ireland has been a wee bit boring. Especially since our King hasn't died in any weird ways, and since Sabd hasn't tried to rape Indy yet.
Luck of the Irish, and all that. :) Not to mention your double assassination of the English Sovereign. Indy's leading quite the charmed life. Still a bit of housecleaning to do, and then off to... well, can't say 'greener pastures', not after Ireland... but off to exciting new venues.

Good stuff. :)
 

tnick0225

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Irish revenge has returned ...I waited for such a move ;)
That it has...need to pay the English back ;)

Luck of the Irish, and all that. :) Not to mention your double assassination of the English Sovereign. Indy's leading quite the charmed life. Still a bit of housecleaning to do, and then off to... well, can't say 'greener pastures', not after Ireland... but off to exciting new venues.

Good stuff. :)
Haha Indy is definitely the first de Wexford that has had the luck of the Irish for me :) More like moving into rockier pastures? I don't know what Scotland would be referred to tbh lol. Sheep country perhaps? Lol...but anyway there'll be a lot of new places Indy finds himself in pretty soon.
 

tnick0225

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4.6 - Ireland

@hiryuu: True enough! It was a bit gamey, but I didn't want the Stawells taking over the HRE, that would have made the world a very very ugly place. So I didn't see any other option but to plot.

~~~~~
Part 4.6 - Ireland​



The war with England opens up with a minor skirmish at St. Kentigern, where our Irish forces send the 800 man army of the Stawells running out of Scotland. With that minor battle out of the way we settle in to start laying our siege.

Meanwhile, Indy, being in the field loses the gluttonous trait, apparently those nights of swilling beer and pigging out have come to an end for our dear Irish monarch. A few months later we occupy St. Kentigern.


After the siege we begin laying siege to some more English held Scottish territory, all the while Indy decides to take up gardening outside the walls.

While awaiting the sieges to come to an end and wondering if England will send anymore troops our way the Pope decides to call a Crusade for Jerusalem. I kind of wish he had waited a year longer, as it'd be awesome to grab some of the Holy Land for the de Wexford clan. But since we're embroiled in a war already we'll probably miss out on this Crusade.


By October of 1055, Indy officially has grown a garden outside of the walls of Dumbarton, and becomes known throughout Ireland as a gardener. By December I'm beginning to get rather bored of this whole waiting for sieges to complete game. And begin hoping that English unite to attack us Irishmen. But no such luck will happen. Instead we are left to our own devices as the young King Guilhem has exhausted most of his forces fighting the rebellion in England.

In response to our boredom paradox decides to throw me a bone with an adventurer. A man named Mael-Morda Stawell. Yes another damned Stawell, they're becoming more ubiquitous in this game then the darn Karlings. In fact the Stawells even own the crown of Galicia now.

But the thing with MM is that he has been beaten before he ever sets sail to Ireland. How does this happen? I have no idea, but the minute he declares his invasion is the minute it says 100% war-score in favor of Indy.


Thus our war ends bringing MM Stawell to Irelands grand dungeon immediately. I got to admit I feel a bit bad for the poor guy. I mean who launches an invasion with zero men? Perhaps the reason he lost is because the English rebels were hostile towards him and sapped his manpower? That's really the only explanation I have. But regardless definitely an odd glitch or bug or something.


So back to the boredom of waiting for these sieges to come to an end. During my eternal boredom I wander about the world once again and notice Hungary is now Catholic. I scratch my head wondering when Hungary had converted to Christianity. So I click on it, and much to my surprise I find out a relative of the former Duke of Moldau, remember the guy who infamously cockblocked Tvrdoslav from claiming Wallachia? Well anyway the Duke of Moldau's relative a nephew or something I imagine has claimed Hungary, which is shockingly a two province Kingdom on the verge of being wiped off the map completely.


Perhaps this will help spur the Mihaljevic's to taking the crown themselves. I mean they already rule over much of de jure Hungary so I'm sure the AI there will eventually decide to take the crown.

On April 26, 1056, Glasgow falls, forcing little King Guilhem to surrender. Granting Duke Artgal II dominion over Count Thomas of Clydesdale.


With the war over I decide to finally go on a pilgrimage. I mean the rest of Christianity is fighting in the Crusades so doing a pilgrimage would be a great idea right? And since the rest of Christendom is in Jerusalem fighting the army's of Islam, perhaps Indy should go on a true adventure!

Adventure? So that means Santiago? Canterbury? Rome?

Na...

Jerusalem!

I mean why not? It should be the safest place in all of the world to visit this time of the year. All the dead bodies of soldiers lying around fertilizing the fields. No one would notice some lone Irishman making his way about town right?

So off Indy goes on an adventure to Jerusalem.


This is probably the most ingenious idea Indy has had throughout his entire reign.

Off on the road to go visit the land of the Lord JC, and what happens to Indy on the first leg of his adventure? He gets forced into paying ten gold for a "toll". Of course Indy gives it to these men, as they seem to be god-fearing Christians so why not.

Thus, Indy gets to continue on the road. While Indy is travelling along the road he notices a bright star, and becomes zealous because everyone knows bright stars will lead you to your destination no matter what!

As Indy nears his destination he comes across some heavily armored knights, or at least they appeared to be knights. Indy having never seen what true holy knights looks like doesn't trust them. They look an awful lot like those guys that charged him a toll, so he tells them to bugger off and he'd rather follow some locals that were leading their camels down the road. Unfortunately Indy fails to receive the paranoid trait like I wanted him too. But oh well.

Indy finally reaches Jerusalem, a Holy City, under siege. The people seemed sad, and no one was particularly kind to the Irish Catholic King that came to visit. The Muslims denounced him, the Jews cursed him. Nevertheless Indy befriended a Jewish family and spent several nights with them before leaving the Holy Land disappointed by what he had seen. In fact he swore over and over again that he would return to put an end to this foolish Crusade so he could experience the true Holy Land!

Thus, Indy returned to Ireland with a new ambition.


While debating on the pros and cons of joining the Catholic Crusade I go over to the land of the Pecking Pests to see who is ruling. And come to discover a Duke named Stanislav "the Ill-Ruler" Mihaljevic. I get a great big smile. We all know how I enjoy my cruel warlords that enjoy all sorts of tyrannical games.


Perhaps this Mihaljevic has the steel in his bones to create Hungary finally!

Oh and by the way, Indy's wifey is pregnant finally. Hopefully it will be a boy so we don't have that random Italian dude inherit Ireland.

Remember MM Stawell, that unfortunate adventurer whose life will go down in the annals as the precursor to Don Quixote? Well he's had enough of Ireland and has requested we give him permission to wander off to join the Knights Hospitaller. Indy allows him to go, I mean the Knights deserve such a grand adventurer right? Perhaps he will do miracles in Jerusalem!


In April of 1057, Indy's wife Princess Morvana of the Holy Roman Empire, gives birth to a baby boy finally! With 10 years left Indy finally has a boy to inherit. And that Crimthann guy in Italy can suck it!

Indy knowing that he is by far the greatest Irish King ever, decides his new boy should also be named Indy.


In celebration of the birth of a baby boy, Pope Theodore writes a letter to Indy letting him know that Bishop Olchobar of Raphoe an Irish cleric in Indy's realm has been appointed to the College of Cardinals. This is the first Cardinal I've ever had since SoA's release so I was pretty excited about getting this, and I didn't even campaign for it. Although as I would find out a few minutes later it really didn't mean jack so the excitement faded rather quickly.


With a Cardinal being selected and Indy still pissed off about the state of Jerusalem he decides its time to throw Irish might against the Muslims in the Crusade for Jerusalem.

And Pope Theodore II approves, informing Indy to hurry the hell up.


Once I'm officially a part of the Crusade I take a look at what we're dealing with as Indy's men gather and prepare to board our ships for an expensive voyage to the Middle East.


Apparently the Crusade started off rather roughly for the Christians. But it seems like things are slowly starting to flow in the correct direction. So its a perfect time for the luck of the Irish to make their way over and pick off all the pieces of the Caliphate's army.

As our boats sail off to Jerusalem I'm struck by a strange pang of remorse. This is my first time returning to this part of the world. And the Decadence Invasion and the Shia Uprising officially usurped the Abbasid Caliphate. The Hussayn Shia Caliphate now rules in Baghdad controlling the Sultanate of Mesopotamia. And the Sunni Caliphate is held by the Saudids, which I find to be oddly fitting. I think I'll refer to these Saudids simply as Saudis or the house of Saud for good measure.

Before we land in the warzone this is what Jerusalem is looking like.


On March 22, 1059, Indy officially makes his return to Jerusalem with an anger and ambition suiting for his nickname "the Bold".


A few months pass of Indy's Irish horde fighting off small Muslim detachments, as his men cut and slice their way towards Jerusalem.

As Indy and his men set down siege outside the Holiest City in the world Indy feels he has accomplished the mission he was sent to Earth to do. To free Jerusalem and make it safe for all pilgrims in the future.

But the luck of the Irish would not stay with Indy for long. For that age old de Wexford curse would visit him as well.

In May, a few months after arriving on the shores of Jerusalem, word would come that Indy's son Indy the Younger had been murdered!

As I prepare to rage-quit, I take a few deep breaths, trying to think. I want to KILL KILL everybody!!! How could this happen? Who on god's green earth would want to kill poor little Indy Junior? I mean he had so much promise at the age of two.

Oh yeah, I know who.

Crimthann de Wexford


Who just so happens to be my heir once again.
 

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He killed Junior! Now we'll never get to relive all those touching father-son moments from The Last Crusade! Burn, Crimthann, burn! Anyway, as if infanticide wasn't enough, you can't trust a bastard with nuclear-glow orange hair and all those braids in his beard. I bet he's just a crypto-catholic who secretly worships the Old Gods.

Murder that SOB as soon as you can. For little, innocent Indy.

Good update otherwise, but I'm just a bit overcome with fury due to Crimmy's unspeakable acts. It's not even like you were playing as him (in which case everything would be excusable as 'roleplaying a cruel character'), so we can add presumptiousness to his list of sins. Bastard.
 

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Kill him! Burn him! Surely you can imprison him...wait, he's in Italy. :( Goodbye, sweet Indy. Also, the lost paranoid trait? At least you won't see any more suspicious cookies. :p
 

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Part 4.7 - Ireland

@mike the knight: I know that evil guy anyway! Just wait till I get my hands on him!

@Stuyvesant: Congrats on winning fan of the Week! And yeah evil Crimmy killing Junior! When that happened I was pissed! But I guess its karma for killing those two Stawells, and maybe some RNG revenge for the crimes I committed as the Abbasids so I guess I'll accept Crimmy's crimes.

@GreatUberGeek: Definitely can't imprison him, or do anything to him. The King of Italy has him pretty well protected. So this has got to be some weird HRE covert action I am thinking.

Anyway, this shall be the final update in our adventures in Ireland, there is a lot to cover and probably should take two updates, but I just feel Ireland has made things grow stagnant no matter how interesting I tried to make the mundane events. Sooooo, I'm going to condense a few things here and there and cut out some screenshots I normally would have included. But basically all that this update is is Indy going on a rampage after Junior's death. So enjoy...

~~~~~
Part 4.7 - Ireland​



I was going to add something into the update title but figured that'd give away what happens at the end of this adventure with Irish King Indy. So if you want the spoiler you'll just have to scroll down to the bottom.

Anyways where we left off Junior just got killed by the evil Crimthann who is now heir to Ireland, and serving as Marshal or something or maybe spymaster for Italy. But no matter what he is he is an evil evil man. I know I deserved that, I haven't exactly been a saint in Ireland or anywhere else I've played for that matter. So having Junior get knocked off by his belligerent cousin or whatever relation Crimthann is served me right.

While Indy and his Irishmen are laying siege to some random Holy land holding, I go perusing options against Crimthann.

Imprisonment = NOPE!

Assassination = NOPE!

Gift? = of course!

Oh so he'll take a gift but nothing else works against him. Okay, I send him 20 gold, just for kicks. I can imagine the note, "Thank you for killing my two year old son! By the way for all your troubles here's 20 gold for accomplishing such an amazing feat!"

I then follow it up by inviting Crimthann to my court. And now that the wheels of eternal happiness have been properly oiled with blood and money Crimthann happily accepts th invite.


Now that he's in Ireland perhaps retribution can be had!

Assassination = NOPE!

Imprisonment = Yeah...but a super tyrannical move...

Hmmm...how on Earth is it possible that the known murderer of my son is loved by all my vassals? I would think they'd be chomping at the bit to rid themselves of this monster. Apparently not though. Perhaps they sense the steel of a great leader in him.

And apparently Indy just invited a monster to court. I pat myself on the back. Wonder how many more people will die now? Hmmm...

But back to the Crusade, when we set sail, the war score wasn't very high. By the time we've started sieging its already near 50. I'm doubtful if we'll gain anything here. But nonetheless Indy does occupy the target.


Indy then finds out that Crimmy has had a little boy. Which of course immediately puts all sorts of dirty nasty thoughts in my head. Like Indy dangling baby Broen from the ramparts, having the nurse slip him some poison. The options are limitless friends. But you know what, no one wants to kill the brat! I swear Indy should just jump off a cliff and call it good.

While I'm raging about not getting any revenge the Irish occupy some more stuff and start chasing around little bands of Muslim warriors that trying to put up a long lasting insurgency. As all this is going on I notice up in England baby boy Guilhem de Poitou had been deposed and replaced by King Leofwine Stawell, he is the grandson of King Ealdwulf the Careless, not to be confused with Ealdwulf the Drunkard who stole Wessex from Indy.

The Crusade score then hits 100% and our wonderful Pope enforces demands granting none other than the Teutonic Order dominion over Jerusalem. Now, this is the second time the Teutons have won a Crusade. The first time was for Sicily and they lost those lands super fast. So let us see if they make Catholicism proud by holding Jerusalem longer. My guess is no.


Now that the Crusade is over I will post a picture of that part of the world. It isn't the best representation at the moment. And I know some are interested with what the aftermath of the Abbasid implosion looks like. The next update will be a worldwide update that shows things a tiny bit better. But this is the best map I got at the moment.


So basically this is how things shook out during the Abbasid implosion.

Shia Caliphate = Husayn Caliphate they rule the Sultanate of Mesopotamia from Baghdad

Sunni Caliphate = Saudids they rule much of Saudi Arabia and Anatolia and a chunk of Persia minus a few scatterings of Seljuk stuff.

A few other random Emirates exist like the Fatimids. But the current state of the Middle East in game made me smile. Saudids, I like to change their name to Saud or Saudis, and Hussayn well I can't help but think of Saddam due to them ruling from Baghdad. So in a strange mentally twisted way we have Saddam and the House of Saud duking it out Medieval Style in our game!

Moving on.

About six months after the victorious Crusade, the Islamic world finally is able to call Jihads. And ontop of that fun, they get the Bektashi Order now as well. I imagine its only a short time before TO gets introduced to BO.

Crimthann decides that my castle, where I can't kill him or imprison him or do anything to him is his own personal breeding ground because his wife just pooped out another kid. At least its a girl so no need to throw that one off the castle walls. But marrying her off to a creepy 70 year old man in the Steppes...now that is a possibility.

Still wish I could throw her brother off the walls though...

Unable to appease Indy's anger against Crimmy's kid, there is only one way to take the pain out of Indy's heart. Pagan killing!


Indy is in dire need of spilling blood. So I make him leader of the Center column. Figure he'll see enough action to quench his bloodlust and perhaps calm me down a little bit. Plus in a weird way I'd really enjoy playing Crimmy...


Well damn.

Indy is trying to go down like his daddy King Fergal.

Indy wins the battle but barely, had to pull the reserves off a siege to turn the tide. Apparently a wounded king saps morale a lot. But anyway, Indy goes about the highlands chasing the Pagans while everyone else starts occupying Albany.

Things progress in their normal mundane nature from there on out and on October 1, 1062, the Norse surrender.


With the war over I go about handing some titles out again, and go to my law screen and scratch my head. Crimmy is dead!

What?

How?

Hmmmm...


Karma is a mother......

Now there will never be sweet sweet revenge. You would think my rage over junior's murder would now be assuaged, you would think I'd be happy. And that Indy would view this as a blessing from God. But no, this is a curse. Crimmy was not supposed to die of pneumonia. He was supposed to die of a cow shit explosion or something more creative.

Now his brat of a kid is fatherless and Indy's heir apparent. I obviously can't kill the poor little worm that would be counter-productive at this point as third in line is some other random de Wexford playing at knights in some other corner of Europe.

Indy's only choice is to take care of the little kid and raise him as if the boy was Junior. Although if Indy has a son of his own, all bets are off for little Broen...

Indy's wound then miraculously heals and becomes a scar. So he isn't going to die of an infection like his daddy Fergal did. And sure enough like clockwork the minute our illustrious King of Ireland rises from his sickbed the Shia Hussayn Caliph declares a Jihad for Jerusalem.


That didn't take long.

At this point I'm back to raging. I'm still pissed at Crimmy, pissed because he killed Junior and pissed that Crimmy died of pneumonia. So Pagan Killing Part II.


As soon as I declare this war I call the Holy Bretonian Emperor into it. He's an old man named Govran and he has a wooden leg. As soon as he agrees to lend a hand, he dawns his armor, and as he is walking his wooden leg breaks and causing him to fall down the stairs breaking his neck, thus ending our alliance with the Holy Bretonian Empire.

It seems anything good that touches Ireland shrivels up and dies, with the exception of Indy.

A lot of random pointless things happen after that. Like Indy's half-brother getting pissed about not being given a fief, only because his surname is Stawell, and we HATE Stawells.

We also get another Cardinal but I never did figure out if our old one died or is still alive. And a lot of sieges and minor insignificant battles that deserve absolutely zero words to describe.

In comes 1064 and the Shia Caliphate declares victory reclaiming the Holy Land for Sadd...err...I mean Islam.


More sieges and minor battles occur again...all of which Indy wins hands down.

In February of 1065, the Teutonic Order still smarting from losing yet another Crusader Kingdom requests that Indy grant them some lands in Scotland so they can help us fight the Norse. I laugh, and say hell no! The Teutons are inept. They suck, they can't fight. They're worthless! They've lost every single thing they've won. The only thing they haven't lost are those provinces near the Pecking Pest and I dare say the Mihaljevic's will grab up those eventually.

By March of 1065 both Norse chieftains surrender.


Now, with that blitz of Scotland we are one territory away from being able to create the Kingdom of Scotland or in Indy's case the Kingdom of Alba.

Amazing how much land you can take when you're in rage mode.

There's one viable target. And it is a Christian lord of Argyll. I'm not as ragey now that I've killed several tens of thousands of Norsemen, but adding some Christians to the pile would be noble. I mean equal opportunity right? And that's what Indy is if anything, an equal opportunity conqueror.


Off to war we go. Our last adventure as Indy de Wexford.

During the war Indy get's sick.

Two weeks later...

He's all better again.

He's definitely made of sturdier stock than his flimsy pops.

I forgot to mention Indy married his daughter off to the independent Duke of Grenada. Well when this war happens over Argyll, Indy calls his new son-in-law to war of which the lad happily accepts.

No one informed the Duke of Grenada of a suspicious curse to those that touch Ireland. Which is too bad, because I think the Duke of Grenada would have said no if he'd known better.

As a few days later after accepting Indy's call to arms the Duke of Grenada gets pushed off his boat and drowns at sea.

Thus ending the Grenada alliance.

In October of 1065 Indy becomes sick once again. Usually by the second or third iteration of this a ruler seems to keel over and die so we'll see if the RNG hates us or just enjoys torturing Indy.

While Indy is laying in his sickbed we are notified that some random old lady in Derby has died and passed all her estates unto Indy.


That random old lady turns out to be Indy's granny. I wasn't expecting this inheritance it blind sided me. And gives us another chunk of land to defend against the English. Oh well, I won't be around for that war!

In March of 1066 Indy recovers from his sickness once again and joins the war. By July of that year, the war is won.

And with the war won Indy usurps the title of Duke of the Isles and decides that it is now or never to create the Kingdom of Alba.


After becoming King of Alba Indy falls ill again! And recovers again!

The last thing Indy accomplishes before we leave him is getting two Scottish lords to swear fealty to Ireland.


And that is when the clock strikes January 1, 1067, ending our time in Ireland.

It was fun as Indy. Had some enjoyable short reigns as his forebears. Some unfortunate vassals. But all in all it was a walk in the park. Ireland was not too fun to play as. But we did accomplish a lot. Two Kingdom titles for Indy and the de Wexfords. They'll be a power to rival England if they keep in intact. Perhaps the Stawells will finally meat their match.

Sometime in the next few days I will post the World Update. As well as reveal where our next adventure shall be. And all I have to say about that, is it makes every start we have had so far look like a cake walk. Because the position I get put in by the RNG would make anyone want to re-roll the dice.

So I think everyone will enjoy our next stop...only clue I'll give is we'll be a heretic religion...

But without further ado, while everyone is pondering where on Earth our next stop could be, enjoy the map of Ireland.

 

GreatUberGeek

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Bet your next one will be that tiny little country north of Scotland. :p
Poor Indy...who would have been the heir once Crimmthann died?
 

mike the knight

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Such a King! Full of war rage ...a true conqueror ...I wonder where the fate will toss us....