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My Shcwartz in bigger then your Shcwartz
Nice going... i'm laughing as hell and besides, you're doing a great job with Tukrey and Persia
Keep it up!
Nice going... i'm laughing as hell and besides, you're doing a great job with Tukrey and Persia
Keep it up!
Episode IV: A Weird Dream(continued)
Episode IV:A Weird Dream
Ban awakes with a start. He is surrounded by darkness. For a second, he thinks that he may have succumbed to the dark side of the "Stuff". But he realizes this is foolish. But his dream, his dream worries him. He saw Princess Koupadoupadopilos, and she was in pain. But more importantly, she wasn't in Isahafan. The armies of Ethiopia had supposedly captured Isahafan. And Princess Koupa had been secreted away, to Delhi! This was turning into a wild goose chase, Ban though to himself. He got up, looking to go find Ean when Ean burst in. He was panting, looking left and right. He saw Ban, and grabbed his arm
"Rebels! Some loyalists, serving the Ottomans, have attacked Anatolia. They have nominal control over this place. We need to get out of here. Change of plans, we are heading to Isahafan now!" Ean moved over to Yabba, and pushed him off the bed. Yabba flailed about for a second, then got up.
" What are you doing Ean?! I was sleeping nice and peaceful." Yabba was rightfully ticked off. Then he saw the look on Ban's face. Something was wrong. Ean also looked more closely at Ban, and saw how the old man was actually shaking.
"Ban, you ok? You look like you have seen a ghost." Yabba asked with concern.
"No, no, not a ghost..." Ban shook his head in dismay. It was one of the "Stuff" sent visions he had from time to time. Well, he might as well tell them." I had a vision. Yabba, you remember me telling you the power of the "Stuff", " Yabba nods, "Well, it can allow one to look into the future. And I have just seen into the future. We have to head to Delhi. In the Mughal Empire. The princess is there, in a great deal of pain. She is clsoe to death, i think. We HAVE to go there!" Ban practically shouts this last part. Ean and Yabba are very surprised. Ban has never ever raised his voice. This must be serious. Ean sighs, motions for all of them to head to the stable where the wagon is. Ean gos to grab Jamba, and Ban leaves some money for the rooms on the pillow of his bed. Doobya and Mwahaha are woken, and the group heads to the stable. They all load up, and soon, just before dawn, are off, heading to Delhi. Thye should reach there, if there are no problems, in maybe 2 weeks. Ean and Jamba wonder exactly what they are getting into.If they are getting in too deep...
[Watch for more at the end of the post]
[now back to the AAR(cries of Awww! and C'mon, more Jamba! come from the audience)]
1570-
Nothing else happens
1571-
Jan 1: Troops in Baluchstan and a fort increase there.Troops and judges in Mekran and Hormouz. Troop increase in Isahafan, Elbruz, and Khorasan
April 1-8: Revolt in Kurdistan, we have lost it to the rebels.
1572-
Jan 1: Troops increase in Armenia, Tax collector in Kirkuk, Troops in Baluchstan, Mekran, Lut, Persis, Elbrouz and Khorasan. Forts are increased in Elbrouz and Khorasan
Feb 1: Enthusiasm for our army. 4500 inf, 900 cav in Axum.
1573-
Jan 1: More troops, more tax collectors. Armenia revolts, with some 32000 men. Lugansk is still not ours, held by rebels.
1574-
Nothing
1575-War With Turkey? Again? Dang!
May 3: We are pulled into a war because Hungary, the most inept nation in the world, is attacked by Turkey. One very good thing about war, the people do not complian that we are being unfair to Turkish and Oman Merchants [no stab loss for embargo against them]
We will destroy Turkey and Oman once and for all. And then we will make sure that Hungary has the "proper" protection.
June 23: Those Uzbeks have declared war on us. Damnit.
Throughout 1575, it is a see saw battle. Wihout the aid of our vassals, Serbia, we would have lost Anatolia several dozen times. But we persevere, and our forces in the north managed to get Azow and we ask for 1250d. We get maybe 100. Fine. Now we are going after Oman, maybe try and force them to only have their capital. If we could do same with Turkey, we would.
1576- Uzbeks fall, as does Dohfar. The war with Turkey is turning for the worse.
July 1576: Uzbeks finally agree to our demand of utter annhilation. Good. Now Oman and Turkey remain.
We lose Sivas to rebels, and Armenia revolts again,and we are losing almost every army we have. Not good, not good at all.
1576-
Oman is no more! on Aug 19, we ask for, and get Oman. They are Annexed. For some reason, Russia wants our maps, and they would give us theirs. Why, i wonder?
1577- Why are we hated so?
Well, Aden has attacked us. Why? What did we do? Oh maybe because we annexed Oman and Uzbeks. Well, maybe, maybe not. We decide to go it alone. We do not want our friends to abandon us.
1578- A politcal crisis.
Jan 1: Our King suffers a major setback, people hate him a lot[-3 stab, ouch! and monarch hit for 4 months]
We make immediate peace with Turkey, grabbing Kerch, Aleepo and Arabia. We offer peace to Aden, but nothing. We are frantic. It will take us several dozen years to get back to ideal stability. Damnit
Jan 20: We give Aden all of our money, 19d. We only hope we can now get our stability back up, where it belongs.
1580-Plague!
April 9: Populations are halved in Issas, Ogaden,and Afars. Damn.
1581-
July 30: Well, at least something good has come from all of this crap. Georgia finally agrees to become our vassal. Yippee!
1583-
Well, we hit +1 satb, and that must have done something. The chiefs agree with us, and we get another bonus in stab[+1 stab, 789 in trade, 1000 in inf]
We are going to try and save up for a refinery in one of our ivory provinces, ivory or spices.
1584-
April 1: Well, we can build fine arts academies. Why?
1586-
Well, we are very poplar, I guess. Not sure why.[+10 rel with all nations]
[To be continued...]
I need to build up my forces on the Mughal border. If only I could...
Episode IV: A Weird Dream
Princess Koupa sits alone in a cold cell, in the dankest Delhi dungeon. She has been accused of spying foe Greece, even though Greece no longer exists. Well, they will not get anything from her. She curls up, and tries to get some sleep.
Klang KLang! KLAng! KLANg! KLANG! Hiss!
The door to Koupa's cell opens, and Dat Vater stands before her. She suppresses a shiver, and tries to look defiant. Vater laughs quietly, and apporaches her
"So, Princess. You have finally been caught. You WILL tell me what you know of the secret plans of the Greeks. You WILL hand over everything you have gathered about our Empire. And You WILL suffer for your crimes." Vater laughs evilly, and steps aside. A hideous monstrousity of a man enters, followed by some foul beast. It is a dreaded Mughal Interrogation Beast!! Koupa suppresses a gulp, and steels herself for the torture to come.
The door shuts behind Vater and Koupa...
Episode IV:A Weird Dream
Ban awakes with a start. He is surrounded by darkness. For a second, he thinks that he may have succumbed to the dark side of the "Stuff". But he realizes this is foolish. But his dream, his dream worries him. He saw Princess Koupadoupadopilos, and she was in pain. But more importantly, she wasn't in Isahafan. The armies of Ethiopia had supposedly captured Isahafan. And Princess Koupa had been secreted away, to Delhi! This was turning into a wild goose chase, Ban though to himself. He got up, looking to go find Ean when Ean burst in. He was panting, looking left and right. He saw Ban, and grabbed his arm
"Rebels! Some loyalists, serving the Ottomans, have attacked Anatolia. They have nominal control over this place. We need to get out of here. Change of plans, we are heading to Isahafan now!" Ean moved over to Yabba, and pushed him off the bed. Yabba flailed about for a second, then got up.
" What are you doing Ean?! I was sleeping nice and peaceful." Yabba was rightfully ticked off. Then he saw the look on Ban's face. Something was wrong. Ean also looked more closely at Ban, and saw how the old man was actually shaking.
"Ban, you ok? You look like you have seen a ghost." Yabba asked with concern.
"No, no, not a ghost..." Ban shook his head in dismay. It was one of the "Stuff" sent visions he had from time to time. Well, he might as well tell them." I had a vision. Yabba, you remember me telling you the power of the "Stuff", " Yabba nods, "Well, it can allow one to look into the future. And I have just seen into the future. We have to head to Delhi. In the Mughal Empire. The princess is there, in a great deal of pain. She is clsoe to death, i think. We HAVE to go there!" Ban practically shouts this last part. Ean and Yabba are very surprised. Ban has never ever raised his voice. This must be serious. Ean sighs, motions for all of them to head to the stable where the wagon is. Ean gos to grab Jamba, and Ban leaves some money for the rooms on the pillow of his bed. Doobya and Mwahaha are woken, and the group heads to the stable. They all load up, and soon, just before dawn, are off, heading to Delhi. Thye should reach there, if there are no problems, in maybe 2 weeks. Ean and Jamba wonder exactly what they are getting into.If they are getting in too deep...
[Watch for more at the end of the post]
[now back to the AAR(cries of Awww! and C'mon, more Jamba! come from the audience)]
1570-
Nothing else happens
1571-
Jan 1: Troops in Baluchstan and a fort increase there.Troops and judges in Mekran and Hormouz. Troop increase in Isahafan, Elbruz, and Khorasan
April 1-8: Revolt in Kurdistan, we have lost it to the rebels.
1572-
Jan 1: Troops increase in Armenia, Tax collector in Kirkuk, Troops in Baluchstan, Mekran, Lut, Persis, Elbrouz and Khorasan. Forts are increased in Elbrouz and Khorasan
Feb 1: Enthusiasm for our army. 4500 inf, 900 cav in Axum.
1573-
Jan 1: More troops, more tax collectors. Armenia revolts, with some 32000 men. Lugansk is still not ours, held by rebels.
1574-
Nothing
1575-War With Turkey? Again? Dang!
May 3: We are pulled into a war because Hungary, the most inept nation in the world, is attacked by Turkey. One very good thing about war, the people do not complian that we are being unfair to Turkish and Oman Merchants [no stab loss for embargo against them]
We will destroy Turkey and Oman once and for all. And then we will make sure that Hungary has the "proper" protection.
June 23: Those Uzbeks have declared war on us. Damnit.
Throughout 1575, it is a see saw battle. Wihout the aid of our vassals, Serbia, we would have lost Anatolia several dozen times. But we persevere, and our forces in the north managed to get Azow and we ask for 1250d. We get maybe 100. Fine. Now we are going after Oman, maybe try and force them to only have their capital. If we could do same with Turkey, we would.
1576- Uzbeks fall, as does Dohfar. The war with Turkey is turning for the worse.
July 1576: Uzbeks finally agree to our demand of utter annhilation. Good. Now Oman and Turkey remain.
We lose Sivas to rebels, and Armenia revolts again,and we are losing almost every army we have. Not good, not good at all.
1576-
Oman is no more! on Aug 19, we ask for, and get Oman. They are Annexed. For some reason, Russia wants our maps, and they would give us theirs. Why, i wonder?
1577- Why are we hated so?
Well, Aden has attacked us. Why? What did we do? Oh maybe because we annexed Oman and Uzbeks. Well, maybe, maybe not. We decide to go it alone. We do not want our friends to abandon us.
1578- A politcal crisis.
Jan 1: Our King suffers a major setback, people hate him a lot[-3 stab, ouch! and monarch hit for 4 months]
We make immediate peace with Turkey, grabbing Kerch, Aleepo and Arabia. We offer peace to Aden, but nothing. We are frantic. It will take us several dozen years to get back to ideal stability. Damnit
Jan 20: We give Aden all of our money, 19d. We only hope we can now get our stability back up, where it belongs.
1580-Plague!
April 9: Populations are halved in Issas, Ogaden,and Afars. Damn.
1581-
July 30: Well, at least something good has come from all of this crap. Georgia finally agrees to become our vassal. Yippee!
1583-
Well, we hit +1 satb, and that must have done something. The chiefs agree with us, and we get another bonus in stab[+1 stab, 789 in trade, 1000 in inf]
We are going to try and save up for a refinery in one of our ivory provinces, ivory or spices.
1584-
April 1: Well, we can build fine arts academies. Why?
1586-
Well, we are very poplar, I guess. Not sure why.[+10 rel with all nations]
[To be continued...]
I need to build up my forces on the Mughal border. If only I could...
Episode IV: A Weird Dream
Princess Koupa sits alone in a cold cell, in the dankest Delhi dungeon. She has been accused of spying foe Greece, even though Greece no longer exists. Well, they will not get anything from her. She curls up, and tries to get some sleep.
Klang KLang! KLAng! KLANg! KLANG! Hiss!
The door to Koupa's cell opens, and Dat Vater stands before her. She suppresses a shiver, and tries to look defiant. Vater laughs quietly, and apporaches her
"So, Princess. You have finally been caught. You WILL tell me what you know of the secret plans of the Greeks. You WILL hand over everything you have gathered about our Empire. And You WILL suffer for your crimes." Vater laughs evilly, and steps aside. A hideous monstrousity of a man enters, followed by some foul beast. It is a dreaded Mughal Interrogation Beast!! Koupa suppresses a gulp, and steels herself for the torture to come.
The door shuts behind Vater and Koupa...
Last edited:
Oh Oh. Turkey is in trouble!
Never have I been happier to see light green shown so little on the map!
And check out Spain. They have parts of England and what looks like Franche Comte. Whoo hoo Spain!
So, anyone have any suggetsions for where Death Star should be? China? Nippon? Someplace that is very hard to attack, but has the possibilty of falling.
Cause as soon as i have a Death Star, we can have Koupa rescued, and the assult prepared for.
Glad to see people like my little hommage to Star Wars. BTW, what would a good name for it be? Something to call the series. Any ideas, suggestions? all are appreciated.
Never have I been happier to see light green shown so little on the map!
And check out Spain. They have parts of England and what looks like Franche Comte. Whoo hoo Spain!
So, anyone have any suggetsions for where Death Star should be? China? Nippon? Someplace that is very hard to attack, but has the possibilty of falling.
Cause as soon as i have a Death Star, we can have Koupa rescued, and the assult prepared for.
Glad to see people like my little hommage to Star Wars. BTW, what would a good name for it be? Something to call the series. Any ideas, suggestions? all are appreciated.
China it is. I could even go thru the Siberian Corridor, seeing as how Russia hasn't. Maybe go thru Mughals, Hyderabad et al, just to get the massive money boost.
Any ideas on what this series should be called? Then I could post under it, people who had read this thread would know what it was about, and those who haven't(for Shame!) would certainly be piqued.
Not "Star War" But what? "EU Wars"? "Something That At First Seems To Be A Reasonable Facsimile Of Star Wars, But Upon Further Examination Is The Ravings Of A Mad Man"? Or "Mad Wars" for short? Seriously, any ideas would be greatly appreciated. I will get back to it tomorrow.
Cheers!
Any ideas on what this series should be called? Then I could post under it, people who had read this thread would know what it was about, and those who haven't(for Shame!
) would certainly be piqued.Not "Star War" But what? "EU Wars"? "Something That At First Seems To Be A Reasonable Facsimile Of Star Wars, But Upon Further Examination Is The Ravings Of A Mad Man"? Or "Mad Wars" for short? Seriously, any ideas would be greatly appreciated. I will get back to it tomorrow.
Cheers!
Both ways
Any ideas on what this series should be called? Then I could post under it, people who had read this thread would know what it was about, and those who haven't(for Shame!
Not "Star War" But what? "EU Wars"? "Something That At First Seems To Be A Reasonable Facsimile Of Star Wars, But Upon Further Examination Is The Ravings Of A Mad Man"? Or "Mad Wars" for short? Seriously, any ideas would be greatly appreciated. I will get back to it tomorrow.
Cheers!
can't help you there.
I like your second idea. After all, EU Wars doesn't really indicate Star Wars, seeing as how EU is full of wars. Plus, EU Wars is a really bad way to twist Star Wars, not at all original. Seeing as how Chewie's name is Jambalaya, you could name it "Gumbo Wars", but I don't think that conveys the entire story Perhaps "Mad Gumbo Wars" would do the trick
Perhaps "Mad Gumbo Wars" would do the trick
Mad Gumbo Wars...Episode IV: A Weird Dream(continued)
Episode IV: A Weird Dream
When last we left our adventurers, they were on there way to Delhi. Word had reached them that Pricess Koupa was being held there. And so, Ean,Jamba, Ban Yabba, Mwahaha and Doobya all head towards their date with destiny. As they travel, Yabba and Ban discuss the "Stuff".
"So how do I use this "Stuff"? And how can I not succumb to the dark side of the"Stuff"?I mean, such power, aren't you worried I will abuse it? Ban? You awake?" Yabba nudges Ban, and Ban snorts. He opens his eyes, and looks at Yabba
"No, son, not asleep. I was attempting to clarify what I saw before. I am worried about Princess Koupa. She is strong, yes, but Vater is far stronger I fear. If we are too late..." Ban looks almsot sad, and Yabba gives him a look of utter deifance.
"Not only will we save the princess. We will kick Vater's Ass! Oh Yeah! All you need to do, teach me how to master the "Stuff", and I will beat Vater with ease!" Yabba looks almost mad. Ban understands that Yabba is very insecure. Well, they should begin the long road to mastering the "Stuff". Ban and Yabba settle in for a long bit of teaching and learning...
[ok, i will continue the story at the end. I only hope i can get to China in time-only have 200 some odd years to do so, heh]
1586-March, continued
Sivas and Kouban rebel, but we put em down. Nothing else for 1586
1587-
We send colonists to Alga, and traders to Aralsk. A force of 6000 cavalry is sent to clear out any and all hostile natives.
Azov is a pain in the butt. 3 successive revolts there, but our armies manage to suppress the revolters. Our armies in the border provinces, especially with Mughals are fortified. We learn they have allied with Portugal, Navarra and ohers. Damn. Maybe we go after Portugal? Nah, we have no navies...
Nothing of interest happens for the rest of the year. Soon, so very soon. Our fleet in Alexandria will be built up as much as possible, so we can maybe take out Portugal. With them gone, man, we would own most of the world So, Alexandria fleet is sent to Al-Djazadair. Please, Please don't attrit away, mister fleet
Dec 19 1588: We have finally appeased all those ruddy Chiefs. Well, 1589 will see us attack Portugal. If we take them we will be Kings. King of the World!
1589- A Foolish War?
Jan 1: The call goes out, send the Alexandria fleet, all 24 warships and 10 transports will load up with troops from Al-Djazadair. They will sit outside Tago, and hopefully, capture Portugal off guard. Please, let us see the light of victory!
Feb 19: Stupid Azov! Again they rebel, and our armies are sick of it. Beaten are they, yes beaten. So we send in force from Kouban. Dangit!
March 11: When it rains rebels, it pours em. Kerch revolts as well. Perhaps because that damned Russian holding, Kaffa, has succumbed to revolt as well. Maybe that is casuing this all.
Perhaps it is divine fortune. Although everyone hates us[Stab 0] Spain does not side with Portugal in their war with us. In fact, none of Portugals allies join! Not even Mysore! Ha!
April 28: Hungary, they make war with France. Damnit! Well, we will go after Austria, maybe try and grab a piece of France. But Portugal remains the major concern. We will ferry troops over to Algarve
July 15: well, France accepts our offer of Status Quo. Thank God.
1592-
We fight, and fight, and fight on. We blow literally a thousand ducats on troops, ferrying them across to Tago. Finally, on Dec 21 1591, it falls. We move to get every army we have, even those sitting in Persia, and try to get them to the appropriate areas, most notably, Goa and the islands Cap Verde and the Azores. God, Please help us succeed. And Thank you Venice! their fleets are cutting into Portugals fleets badly. They provide an excellent screen, for our transports. Please, Venice, continue your excellent work.Also, Thanks Georgia, you help us take Tangiers. Wheepii
Aug 15: We get a Company of Trade. Yippee!
Aug 1 1594: Well, We really should give Venice 10000 ducats. They have allowed our mini fleets to take Goa, Cap Verde, and the Azores. Portugal has 2 cities in South America, but they are unarmed! We send 1000 infantry there. Please, Please get there, so we can annex Portugal!
1595! HOLY SAMOLY! PORTUGAL IS GONE!
Well, note to self, give Venice 10000000000000 ducats! They saved our fleets! They saved us! And we only lost around 99% of our military(around 400000 men, every province is empty, and our fleets now consist of 3 fleets, 6 transports each! )
Well, either God Loves me, Or I am the luckiest SOB on Earth! Sure, if anyone DoW me now, well, I will lose all of lands(seriously, only a 5000 army in Axum, and 1000 in Goa and Acada! Damn! And now I can send lots of colonists to the uncovered lands. And, I would seriously love to thank my King, Sarsa Dengel. He personally led the siege of Goa, and although we took it, we had only 2000 men left afterwards, and then the revolt. Sigh, at least we held on. Holy Crap! I think Venice should be made into Saints! They RULE!)
Well, armies will be built up now, colonies strengthened, and We need like 30 years of peace, please?
From now on, all we do is strengthen what we have. God Help any revolts we have. I can't reach 90% of my new possessions.
Oct 2 1597: Edict of Tolerance happens. Whoo hoo!
1597-1600
Well, all we do is stregnthen our forces,and try and establish more colonies. Luckily, the natives do not attack us. And no war. Thank God for that. I only hope Hungary also makes peace.
Well, here is a screenshot(actually 2, my empire is so large. And seriously, Venice is the best Ally to have. They kick ass. Without them, I would never have gotten Portugal and in fact, never gotten most of the lands i have. They have been saviours almsot every war i have been in. Frankly, I must admit, when i finally got them to agree to annexation, I had to pause the game, or it would have reached 1792, I was in such inconceivable shock. I could not believe it, still do not believe it. Yeah, this is all a dream. I will wake up, load up the game, and it will be like none of this happened. Seriously though, if Baden were to declare war on me, I would be helpless. I am sooooo low on troops. )
Only bad thing... Tago and Oporto are held by rebels(gulp, maybe they will rebel, and Portugal will be reformed again. Please, no! I am building as many troops as I can so that I can take them back. Every Province in Algiers, Morocco and Algarve are churning out troops. Thank god infantry only cost 5d/ or I would be deader than dead.
God Loves Me! He really really does!Seriously, Venice and Georgia sent like 75000 troops to help out, and i really do not know why they did not get any provinces themselves. I had no leaders leading my armies, cept for the King. Maybe cause I got there first? Dunno. Anyone? Well, I will not complain. And Again, am going to give Venice every ducat i can lay my grubby lil hands on. They saved my ass, literally.
Ok, here is the screenshot. Then I will continue with Episode IV:A Weird Dream,
Here is North And South America
Here is Europe and Africa(sorry, lost SEA in a clean up of my files, sigh...)
And now, we continue with
Episode IV: A Weird Dream
"So you are telling me, this "Stuff" surrounds us? That it fills us with life, that it exists in death as well? So why can't I feel it? Hmm Ban?" Yabba and Ban sat in the back of the wagon, as Jamba and Ean steered them through the night. Yabba had been peppering Ban with questions for several hours now. And Ban had always been patient. Always took the time to answer questions, explain what things meant. Finally, Ban grows weary. He motions to Yabba to be quiet for one second.
" Please, please. I may be a master of the "Stuff" but even I need rest. As do you. So let us sleep, hmm? And then, tomorrow,we will continue..." Ban stopped as Jamba enter the rear of the wagon. He had a pot in his hands. Hmm, Ban was getting hungry. Jamba handed everyone a bowl, filled with a sweet smelling food. He motioned for them to eat up, as there was lots mroe where that came from.
"Eyyarggh!" Jamba let out a loud chortle. He sat down, and watched as everyon dug in.
Yabba took a big spoon of the savoury smelling food, and chowed down. He was famished. As soon as he swallowed, he felt strange. His syomach made a weird sound, as did his bowels. What the heck? Yabba tried to get up, but passed out.
Ban also took a big bit of the food, and the same thing happened to him. He drooped his spoon, and his flippers shook wildly. He fell into a deep deep sleep.
Mwahaha and Doobya, well they were knocked unconscious as soon as they took a whiff of the food.
Jamba sat and silently chuckled to himself. Everyone was out cold. Jamba headed back to the front of the wagon with Ean. No more noise from the back...
Episode IV: A Weird Dream
When last we left our adventurers, they were on there way to Delhi. Word had reached them that Pricess Koupa was being held there. And so, Ean,Jamba, Ban Yabba, Mwahaha and Doobya all head towards their date with destiny. As they travel, Yabba and Ban discuss the "Stuff".
"So how do I use this "Stuff"? And how can I not succumb to the dark side of the"Stuff"?I mean, such power, aren't you worried I will abuse it? Ban? You awake?" Yabba nudges Ban, and Ban snorts. He opens his eyes, and looks at Yabba
"No, son, not asleep. I was attempting to clarify what I saw before. I am worried about Princess Koupa. She is strong, yes, but Vater is far stronger I fear. If we are too late..." Ban looks almsot sad, and Yabba gives him a look of utter deifance.
"Not only will we save the princess. We will kick Vater's Ass! Oh Yeah! All you need to do, teach me how to master the "Stuff", and I will beat Vater with ease!" Yabba looks almost mad. Ban understands that Yabba is very insecure. Well, they should begin the long road to mastering the "Stuff". Ban and Yabba settle in for a long bit of teaching and learning...
[ok, i will continue the story at the end. I only hope i can get to China in time-only have 200 some odd years to do so, heh]
1586-March, continued
Sivas and Kouban rebel, but we put em down. Nothing else for 1586
1587-
We send colonists to Alga, and traders to Aralsk. A force of 6000 cavalry is sent to clear out any and all hostile natives.
Azov is a pain in the butt. 3 successive revolts there, but our armies manage to suppress the revolters. Our armies in the border provinces, especially with Mughals are fortified. We learn they have allied with Portugal, Navarra and ohers. Damn. Maybe we go after Portugal? Nah, we have no navies...
Nothing of interest happens for the rest of the year. Soon, so very soon. Our fleet in Alexandria will be built up as much as possible, so we can maybe take out Portugal. With them gone, man, we would own most of the world
So, Alexandria fleet is sent to Al-Djazadair. Please, Please don't attrit away, mister fleet Dec 19 1588: We have finally appeased all those ruddy Chiefs. Well, 1589 will see us attack Portugal. If we take them we will be Kings. King of the World!
1589- A Foolish War?
Jan 1: The call goes out, send the Alexandria fleet, all 24 warships and 10 transports will load up with troops from Al-Djazadair. They will sit outside Tago, and hopefully, capture Portugal off guard. Please, let us see the light of victory!
Feb 19: Stupid Azov! Again they rebel, and our armies are sick of it. Beaten are they, yes beaten. So we send in force from Kouban. Dangit!
March 11: When it rains rebels, it pours em. Kerch revolts as well. Perhaps because that damned Russian holding, Kaffa, has succumbed to revolt as well. Maybe that is casuing this all.
Perhaps it is divine fortune. Although everyone hates us[Stab 0] Spain does not side with Portugal in their war with us. In fact, none of Portugals allies join! Not even Mysore! Ha!
April 28: Hungary, they make war with France. Damnit! Well, we will go after Austria, maybe try and grab a piece of France. But Portugal remains the major concern. We will ferry troops over to Algarve
July 15: well, France accepts our offer of Status Quo. Thank God.
1592-
We fight, and fight, and fight on. We blow literally a thousand ducats on troops, ferrying them across to Tago. Finally, on Dec 21 1591, it falls. We move to get every army we have, even those sitting in Persia, and try to get them to the appropriate areas, most notably, Goa and the islands Cap Verde and the Azores. God, Please help us succeed. And Thank you Venice! their fleets are cutting into Portugals fleets badly. They provide an excellent screen, for our transports. Please, Venice, continue your excellent work.Also, Thanks Georgia, you help us take Tangiers. Wheepii
Aug 15: We get a Company of Trade. Yippee!
Aug 1 1594: Well, We really should give Venice 10000 ducats. They have allowed our mini fleets to take Goa, Cap Verde, and the Azores. Portugal has 2 cities in South America, but they are unarmed! We send 1000 infantry there. Please, Please get there, so we can annex Portugal!
1595! HOLY SAMOLY! PORTUGAL IS GONE!
Well, note to self, give Venice 10000000000000 ducats! They saved our fleets! They saved us! And we only lost around 99% of our military(around 400000 men, every province is empty, and our fleets now consist of 3 fleets, 6 transports each!
)Well, either God Loves me, Or I am the luckiest SOB on Earth! Sure, if anyone DoW me now, well, I will lose all of lands(seriously, only a 5000 army in Axum, and 1000 in Goa and Acada! Damn! And now I can send lots of colonists to the uncovered lands. And, I would seriously love to thank my King, Sarsa Dengel. He personally led the siege of Goa, and although we took it, we had only 2000 men left afterwards, and then the revolt. Sigh, at least we held on. Holy Crap! I think Venice should be made into Saints! They RULE!)
Well, armies will be built up now, colonies strengthened, and We need like 30 years of peace, please?
From now on, all we do is strengthen what we have. God Help any revolts we have. I can't reach 90% of my new possessions.
Oct 2 1597: Edict of Tolerance happens. Whoo hoo!
1597-1600
Well, all we do is stregnthen our forces,and try and establish more colonies. Luckily, the natives do not attack us. And no war. Thank God for that. I only hope Hungary also makes peace.
Well, here is a screenshot(actually 2, my empire is so large. And seriously, Venice is the best Ally to have. They kick ass. Without them, I would never have gotten Portugal and in fact, never gotten most of the lands i have. They have been saviours almsot every war i have been in. Frankly, I must admit, when i finally got them to agree to annexation, I had to pause the game, or it would have reached 1792, I was in such inconceivable shock. I could not believe it, still do not believe it. Yeah, this is all a dream. I will wake up, load up the game, and it will be like none of this happened. Seriously though, if Baden were to declare war on me, I would be helpless. I am sooooo low on troops. )
Only bad thing... Tago and Oporto are held by rebels(gulp, maybe they will rebel, and Portugal will be reformed again. Please, no! I am building as many troops as I can so that I can take them back. Every Province in Algiers, Morocco and Algarve are churning out troops. Thank god infantry only cost 5d/ or I would be deader than dead.
God Loves Me! He really really does!Seriously, Venice and Georgia sent like 75000 troops to help out, and i really do not know why they did not get any provinces themselves. I had no leaders leading my armies, cept for the King. Maybe cause I got there first? Dunno. Anyone? Well, I will not complain. And Again, am going to give Venice every ducat i can lay my grubby lil hands on. They saved my ass, literally.
Ok, here is the screenshot. Then I will continue with Episode IV:A Weird Dream,
Here is North And South America
Here is Europe and Africa(sorry, lost SEA in a clean up of my files, sigh...)
And now, we continue with
Episode IV: A Weird Dream
"So you are telling me, this "Stuff" surrounds us? That it fills us with life, that it exists in death as well? So why can't I feel it? Hmm Ban?" Yabba and Ban sat in the back of the wagon, as Jamba and Ean steered them through the night. Yabba had been peppering Ban with questions for several hours now. And Ban had always been patient. Always took the time to answer questions, explain what things meant. Finally, Ban grows weary. He motions to Yabba to be quiet for one second.
" Please, please. I may be a master of the "Stuff" but even I need rest. As do you. So let us sleep, hmm? And then, tomorrow,we will continue..." Ban stopped as Jamba enter the rear of the wagon. He had a pot in his hands. Hmm, Ban was getting hungry. Jamba handed everyone a bowl, filled with a sweet smelling food. He motioned for them to eat up, as there was lots mroe where that came from.
"Eyyarggh!" Jamba let out a loud chortle. He sat down, and watched as everyon dug in.
Yabba took a big spoon of the savoury smelling food, and chowed down. He was famished. As soon as he swallowed, he felt strange. His syomach made a weird sound, as did his bowels. What the heck? Yabba tried to get up, but passed out.
Ban also took a big bit of the food, and the same thing happened to him. He drooped his spoon, and his flippers shook wildly. He fell into a deep deep sleep.
Mwahaha and Doobya, well they were knocked unconscious as soon as they took a whiff of the food.
Jamba sat and silently chuckled to himself. Everyone was out cold. Jamba headed back to the front of the wagon with Ean. No more noise from the back...
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Whoo Hoo!
HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I would just like to say I thank GOD for those lovable Venetians. They allowed me to take Portugal out of the game. And although I am completely screwed in any war that comes my way, well, at least i have no more Portugal to worry about.
And Sharur, let it be known, you will be in the credits.
Well, now i wait for 175 years. Do nothing else. Damn
HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I would just like to say I thank GOD for those lovable Venetians. They allowed me to take Portugal out of the game. And although I am completely screwed in any war that comes my way, well, at least i have no more Portugal to worry about.
And Sharur, let it be known, you will be in the credits.
Well, now i wait for 175 years. Do nothing else. Damn
Do nothing else? Don't be silly! You need to march clear thru India & SE Asia until you get to China, annexing whoever you need to
Oh, and thank you, I appreciate it
Oh, and thank you, I appreciate it
Hmm, I wonder how I can...
do credits for this? Maybe take everyone who made suggestions, and then give them titles. Such as
"Series Title Consultant: Sharur"
"Location Consultant: VultureGFF"
"Written, directed, starring, editted, worried about, drove insane, laughed till you cried, warned never to accept food from a guy named Jambalaya, given new twist to a very good film series" By Honour_Shogun
and the rest....
Sweet, so when this AAR ends, can do credits, would love to do screenshots, take a beginning, middle and end screenshot(territory wise) and have like...
CAST:
Yabba the Slim- Honour_Shogun
Ugly Ban Canoogly-Honour_Shogun
Mwahaha-Honour_Shogun
Doobya-Honour Shogun
Ean Sula-Honour_Shogun
Jambalaya-Honour_Shogun
Princess Koupadoupadopilos-Honour_Shogun
Dat Vater-Honour_Shogun
Yeega the Monstrously Bloated/Copulent-Honour_Shogun
Assorted extras, stand-ins, and everyone else-Honour_Shogun
[Screenshot 1-beginning]
Musical Score by John Williams, available on CD and Cassette on Mercury Records. Proceed from the sale of this CD go to me.
[Screenshot 2-middle]
All people appearing in this film are not based on any person, both living and dead. Any resemblance to such people is purely coincidental.
Shot in Ethiopia, Nubia, and all around th world.
[screenshot 3-end]
The Producers would like to thank the following:
Sharur, VultureGFF, Hjarg,Brad1, Carolus Rex,Chengar Qordoth,warspite,
(and anyone else who posts in here, hehe )
Shot in CrazyVison. (damn, how can you do the trademark symbol and the copyright symbol??)
So, how's that for credits. Oh, one more thing. I think for Episode V: A Kick to the Groin i will tie it into "Dances with Wolves" Then I can have the funny names like: " Dances in the Nude by the Jumping Rabbit" , "Blows on Jugs" and " What do you mean, 'this isn't Cajun Gumbo?'"
do credits for this? Maybe take everyone who made suggestions, and then give them titles. Such as
"Series Title Consultant: Sharur"
"Location Consultant: VultureGFF"
"Written, directed, starring, editted, worried about, drove insane, laughed till you cried, warned never to accept food from a guy named Jambalaya, given new twist to a very good film series" By Honour_Shogun
and the rest....
Sweet, so when this AAR ends, can do credits, would love to do screenshots, take a beginning, middle and end screenshot(territory wise) and have like...
CAST:
Yabba the Slim- Honour_Shogun
Ugly Ban Canoogly-Honour_Shogun
Mwahaha-Honour_Shogun
Doobya-Honour Shogun
Ean Sula-Honour_Shogun
Jambalaya-Honour_Shogun
Princess Koupadoupadopilos-Honour_Shogun
Dat Vater-Honour_Shogun
Yeega the Monstrously Bloated/Copulent-Honour_Shogun
Assorted extras, stand-ins, and everyone else-Honour_Shogun
[Screenshot 1-beginning]
Musical Score by John Williams, available on CD and Cassette on Mercury Records. Proceed from the sale of this CD go to me.
[Screenshot 2-middle]
All people appearing in this film are not based on any person, both living and dead. Any resemblance to such people is purely coincidental.
Shot in Ethiopia, Nubia, and all around th world.
[screenshot 3-end]
The Producers would like to thank the following:
Sharur, VultureGFF, Hjarg,Brad1, Carolus Rex,Chengar Qordoth,warspite,
(and anyone else who posts in here, hehe
)Shot in CrazyVison. (damn, how can you do the trademark symbol and the copyright symbol??)
So, how's that for credits. Oh, one more thing. I think for Episode V: A Kick to the Groin i will tie it into "Dances with Wolves" Then I can have the funny names like: " Dances in the Nude by the Jumping Rabbit" , "Blows on Jugs" and " What do you mean, 'this isn't Cajun Gumbo?'"
So far you are doing better than Warspite did on his game, although I don't think that he was going for such conquest. Probably more peacefull expansion.
Love Venice, Oh yeah Baby!
Yeah, I owe it all to Venice. In fact, i think I will make a shrine to them, pray nightly at my little altar. Oh wait, that would be crazy. Can't have that, nope nope nope.
And yes, I am being far more bloodthirsty. But that is because I played Russia oh so much. Should be a warning
" Playing as Russia or Spain can lead to a bloodthirsty mindset. This can carry over to normally peaceful nations, leading the player to try and take over the world with Ethiopia or some other minor minor. We at Paradox do not accept any responsability for any change in mindset, attitude, or drive that may come from playing EU for ungodly long periods of timeViewer and gamer discretion is advised. Rated NC-17, for graphic violence, nudity, and other horrid stuff..."
Hows that? Put it on EU2. Then people will know what they are getting involved with when they play...
Yeah, I owe it all to Venice. In fact, i think I will make a shrine to them, pray nightly at my little altar. Oh wait, that would be crazy. Can't have that, nope nope nope.
And yes, I am being far more bloodthirsty. But that is because I played Russia oh so much. Should be a warning
" Playing as Russia or Spain can lead to a bloodthirsty mindset. This can carry over to normally peaceful nations, leading the player to try and take over the world with Ethiopia or some other minor minor. We at Paradox do not accept any responsability for any change in mindset, attitude, or drive that may come from playing EU for ungodly long periods of timeViewer and gamer discretion is advised. Rated NC-17, for graphic violence, nudity, and other horrid stuff..."
Hows that? Put it on EU2. Then people will know what they are getting involved with when they play...