The Python Phone-In Sketch is slightly relevant....and if you don't have "Matching Tie And Handkerchief" you can probably order it far easier than Victoria at the moment:
Announcer : Welcome to the Phone In. Today we have on our panel our resident Physchiatrist, a Physchiatrist who isn’t resident but is staying with the other one because he can’t bear to go home and a Physchiatrist who has lived with the first one but who when the second one arrived felt alienated and since has undergone a total personality change. Our subject tonight is Farming and our first caller is from Redding....
Woman: Hello.
Announcer: Hello welcome to Phone In, what is your question to the panel?
Operator: Your through now.
Announcer: Hello.
Woman: Hello.
Announcer: Hello this is Phone In, what is your question?
Woman: Is Vic there?
Announcer : Is Vic there?.."Is Vic there" Doctor Rogers.
Rogers: Well the problem here is a simple one the caller wants to know if Vic is there and in this case Vic, as far as I can tell…
Dibbs: Can I interrupt Alan?
Announcer: Yes of course.
Dibbs: I agree with what Rogers was going to say as far as we can tell Vic isn’t here. The only thing she can do is to keep calling and if Vic comes in we’ll let her know.
Announcer: Does that answer your question?
Norman: Hello.
Announcer: Hello.
Woman: Vic?
Norman: Yeah.
Announcer: Good evening welcome to phone in what’s your question?
Woman: It’s Norman.
Announcer: Hello Norman welcome to the show. What’s your question of farming?
Norman: Has he been round again?
Announcer: Has he been round again?. Professor Rogers.
Rogers: Ah Well I..
Woman: On no…
Announcer: Professor Dibbs?
Woman: But he has been phoning me up.
Dibbs: I think we have proved that Vic isn’t here….
Norman: Bloody kill him.
Dibbs:…and therefore he couldn’t have come around again. It is a fairly simple case of non presence.
Announcer: Thank you Norman I hope that answers your question.
