Five years is a long time, no matter how you cut it. For more than a quarter of my life, I've been a member of the Paradox forums. Which is why I feel that this community deserves something more than me slipping into the night without comment, and why I am writing this while delirious from sleep deprivation at 2am in the morning. I am also writing it here in AARland because I have pretty much been an AARlander, but since this will cover my entire Paradox forums experience in general it will mention many things elsewhere as well.
The excuse for this is that I have been accepted into a highly-ranked PhD program in Mathematics with a very prestigious fellowship, and though my life has changed greatly in the past five years this change will dwarf all before it. This program also happens to be tied into a very competitive Financial Mathematics program. Without any exaggeration or humor, I say to you that I have the ability to become a millionaire before the age of twenty-five. Yes, I am gloating on my way out. This is so that you may speak freely about what you've thought of me from what you've seen these past five years and trample on what legacy that I have without feeling guilty in the slightest because I will be achieving successes in the real world in far greater quantities than you will ever be able to in your entire lifetime.
And well, I've also just been losing interest, as you may have been able to tell by my anemic participation in the past year or so. The last time I played a Paradox game was to continue my Crusader Kings AAR. I don't think I actually keep up with any AARs. It really is quite frightening. So I suppose all this is just me finally giving up the ghost.
I am grateful to this community though, and here I mean Paradox at large, for if nothing else the fact that there are far worse online communities to grow up in out there. In fact I honestly cannot think of a community that would have been better. I shudder to think where I could have been but for the grace of God, among that drooling legion peppering their writings with anime-derived emoticons and internet acronyms. And as for AARland specifically, I like the way that for the most part nobody made a big production out of anything. There were no secret clubs or conspiracies or anything like that. It was just a hobby that a bunch of people partook in without drama or seriousness. Such is rare on the Internet, and becoming rarer, and I hope that AARland does not change in that respect. In retrospect, I am nothing but glad that so many of my ideas failed.
Speaking of which, I will now talk about my relationship with this forum over the years with a frankness never before seen or to be seen again. I must confess that what I had most of all was ambition. I saw Prufrock451 and Peter Ebbesen's great AARs being lauded and thought that I too would be like that! And that's all I wanted - the adulation. And I thought that if I just tried hard enough, I could pen the epic AAR that will stand the test of time. To the AARland nubs reading this: DON'T THINK THIS WAY. Vying for the adulation of an internet message board is right above trying to play every Freecell game configuration in order on the list of the most useless things that you could ever try to do. You're writing video game fanfiction, remember that always. Doing it seriously means that you are the biggest loser in the entire universe. No, you should write AARs because you have this cool game that you just played you want to share, or got this story idea while playing the game that you wanted to share, or just because it's fun. If somebody criticizes you, don't take it personally, and if somebody praises you, don't take it personally. In fact I'd go as far as to suggest completely ignoring praise for as long as you can. You're writing video game fanfiction, not an epic novel that will change the world, always remember that. Now don't take this as saying anything against AARland - as I stated before the very lack of such thinking is what makes this community so endearing to me. Please keep it that way by not making the mistakes I made.
My very first AAR was Delusions of Grandeur, an Ethiopia AAR in Vicky, and it sucked. Six months later I restarted it as Delusions of Grandeur: Abyssinia Triumphant. It was supposed to be a grand alternate history epic about the Empire of Ethiopia as it took over pretty much the entire continent of Africa and became a world power. I had planned a dozen 'books' of thirty or so 'chapters' of more than a thousand words each, each starting off with a cool quotation from within the alternate history and everything being all epic. And I was fifteen or sixteen or so when I wrote it, so it sucked. Also I was fifteen or sixteen or so when I wrote it, so my original plan of writing a chapter a day or three chapters a week or whatever did not stand up to the mighty powers of teenage procrastination for long. It took me more than a year to get into the third book, as I recall, with many breaks. But while it was fun at times I also remember stressing out and getting depressed over what seemed to be a lack of views and replies.
My second big AAR was Secrets of the AARk, a HOI2 Ethiopia AAR that was supposed to be a comedy. It was terrible, because it was all the same CHEESE RANDOM LOLOLOL crap that infects the Internet to this day. I suppose I should be glad to have done it though as it had gotten all that out of my system at a young-ish age. But again there was depression over the lack of replies. I even went as far as promising bonus updates if X number of people replied, which ranks among the lamest things I've ever done on this forum.
My third big AAR was Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau, a Gameplay CK AAR. And from the beginning I told myself that how many views or replies it got would be merely incidental, and not affect the AAR or my attitude to it at all. I had set a goal for myself, and that was updating three times a week. And you know what? This AAR is the only one of my three that I am not embarrassed about in retrospect. I wasn't writing it to create a dramatic epic or a hilarious bit of comedy, and so wasn't disappointed when I looked at it objectively and found it reached far short. I was writing it for its own sake, because I had this cool idea for a game that I wanted to share, and not because I wanted fans or readers. And above all, I wasn't taking it seriously.
So if you take anything out of this really long post, it should be to write AARs purely for fun. Not for anything else. Anything. If my legacy was just to have that drilled into all your heads then I'd say it was worth it.
Speaking of my legacy, it certainly is not my AARs, seeing as how then my legacy would be three really long unfinished AARs that have achieved moderate success, which is kinda depressing. No, my legacy are the two AARland institutions that I have created, the AARland Choice AwAARds and The AARlander. And I must be honest here with you now: The reasons why I created these institutions were purely self-serving. As for the ACA, at the time there was no regular awards system in AARland. The ACA is still the only regular awards system. And the reason why I created it was because I wanted my AARs to win awards, and that was hard without a regular awards system. Do you know the reason why I've insisted on keeping Comedy a separate category? Because I wanted Secrets of the AARk to win it. True story. And The AARlander was to be a way to wield power and command adulation from AARland with minimal effort. I hope you don't throw away your trophies or anything.
But you see, I designed them to need minimal effort not only because of the obvious, but also because I really did want the institutions to be easy to continue even after I was gone. And it looks like it has succeeded! You've all passed my test! Congratulations! But the following is my 'last will and testament' if you wish, considering my legacy. Unlike an actual will you don't have to follow it but whatever.
1. The ACA. Of course it will continue schedule-wise in the same format, running for the first month of the quarter with voting reminders at diminishing intervals and private votes being posted anonymously at the end of the voting round. I hope all that is self-evident, as is the format for which results will be placed in the ACA Results Archive. As to the question of Categories, I would like for them to remain as-is with the Overall, Narrative, Comedy, History-Book, and Gameplay for each game, adding new games as they are released. And an important thing: If it is judged that a game category does not have enough activity in the quarter to warrant all five categories, then I would like to just have a single 'Overall' category of that game. I would like EU2/1 to remain separate until EU2 reaches the activity levels of EU1 which is literally two running AARs if that. I can see EU2/1 being dropped to one category first, followed by perhaps CK then Vicky, barring expansions or sequels or something, I don't know. In any case, it is ultimately up to the current host, which I guess is coz1. As for the Overall categories, I was contemplating dropping New Writer if voting in it continues to be so anemic, so that's up to you. I just ask to not have a Favorite Character category because that just ends up being a mess.
2. The AARlander. Looks like this has gone on without me as well, and under new management. My first request would be to be given the title of 'Editor Emeritus' or something that equally means 'guy-who-doesn't-work-for-it-anymore'. My second request, which is much less likely to be fulfilled, is to have The AARlander be run by my designated successor, that is, whoever among ComradeOm, Rensslaer, Hajji Giray I, stnylan, or coz1 wishes to take it, in that order. Unfortunately I never bothered to actually designate them publically, so a succession based on this is questionable at best. So that's up to the current management. Hell, all of them are probably busy anyway.
3. The HOI2 LibrAARy. HOI2 is huge. Imagine a huge forum. It's pretty huge. Nobody will ever actually update this. It will be stuck at being last updated in 2006 until the end of time. These are simply declarative statements, not something that I want my will to enforce or anything. Just saying.
4. The OscAARs/Scrolls/VictAARian Crosses/Whatever. Bring them back and make sure they're as regular as the ACAs this time. You guys have a precedent for actually being regular now.
Now I would like to give some shout-outs to various people who have existed over the years. I wish I could be sure this was everybody, and if I missed you I'm sorry, but I ain't coming back to fix it! In no particular order:
Prufrock451 and Peter Ebbesen, your excellent AARs were among the first I've ever read all those years ago, specifically WAAR of the Worlds and To Stand Against The Night. The former especially gave off an air of simply having fun, and that was something I think will be missed in this community.
coz1 and stnylan, you may or may not remember the fact that you two were the entire readership of my first Delusions of Grandeur AAR at one point. You've always been in a special place in my mind and it simply felt natural when you became Demi-Moderators. I still have the PMs each of you sent me back in January-February 2004 when I was feeling angsty about my AAR in my Archived folder. They've been replicated dozens of times consequently in many PM-savings-to-text over the years. Your words will live on forever.
Semi-Lobster, your own Ethiopia AAR was the inspiration for that whole Secrets of the AARk business and you were one of my earliest fans and friends. I would say 'I should have kept in touch with you' but I'm pretty sure I can say that for everybody on this list.
calcsam2, you too were one of my earliest fans and friends and at one point we were going to do a joint AAR in the Delusions of Grandeur world or something. You posted one update I think, disappeared for two years, came back to post a comment in DoG, then disappeared again after that. So you probably won't read this but whatever.
JoshWeber, you were a good friend and wrote a couple of pretty decent AARs as well. Your ban of four years ago was bullshit.
The rest of the DoG readers, your words praised it to the heavens as being a marvelous work of literature. You were wrong of course. The narrative was basically entirely geopolitical exposition interspersed with bland dialogue and cliche plot twists. But 16-year-old me must've been made very happy by your words. Sorry for abandoning it, especially after hinting at a lot of awesome things to come.
Le Ran, you SotA-loving Frenchman, you did good for yourself in picking up that HOI2 Comedy torch. I was honored to have the torch pass to For A Few ReincAARnations More. Didn't like This Is SpAARta! though, though for all I know that ended months ago. Haven't really been keeping up with HOI2 AARs see. Actually any AARs. Anyway, thanks for being a fan and helping out with those French translations.
Snake IV, sorry for that LibrAARy incident and that SotA thing, I was being a huge dick as well as completely pathetic. Thanks for being honest.
Rest of SotA readers, sorry for melting down at you that one time, it was really pathetic of me. And sorry for failing to deliver on those bonus updates on the last month that SotA was regularly updated. And sorry for abandoning it. I had an epic ending planned which I never got around to so I will tell it to you right now: It was basically going to be on the premise that SotA was a television show. The penultimate update would have been me going up to the Board of Directors and failing to convince them that SotA should be renewed for a second season. And then the ultimate update would be an epic story about me and the actors and crew getting together and robbing a zeppelin or something. Anyway it ends with the premiering of the SotA movie financed by said efforts. The guy playing Herouy/Heruy would be a classically-trained Shakespearean actor who was grateful to me for writing in the Heruy role after being forced to act as the buffoonish Herouy for so long. It would've been a pretty funny idea and I could've stuck it in whenever I got tired of the AAR itself but it never materialized.
Murmurandus, I'd say something bad about your pretty-much-spam postings in RMDA, but that would be hypocritical. So thanks for sticking to the spirit of the AAR for so long. If anyone were to commend me for my perseverance they should commend you as well.
Rest of RMDA readers, you should really be thanking ME here because RMDA was pretty much the perfect way to boost your postcount without it technically being spam. But thanks, and I hope I inspired the idea of playing games with crazy goals like that.
Dysken, you were a SotA reader and I talked to you on MSN or something and that was pretty cool. Also you were part of the Paradox Urban Dead team and that was cool too.
Underhand, sorry for not being on MSN for the past few months. Hell you might be the only reason if I ever get back on it. And Urban Dead was fun.
The Gonzo, I guess you hate me for some reason but whatever it is, I'm sorry. Wish I knew what it was though. If it was about calling you and the other people that were younger than me children then I am more specifically sorry, I never meant to offend.
Rest of Paradox Urban Dead crew, thanks for putting up with my crazy plans and sometimes even implementing them, especially in the face of my frequent absences.
Strategist and the rest of the Paradox Travian crew, thank you for going on to be awesome after the breakup of the overarching alliance at the hands of my incompetent leadership. I assume that I have a place in your historical annals. If not then put me there.
Carthade, you'll probably hate me for this because finally people have forgotten about it, but as this is my farewell I must mention That Incident one more time. Thank you for providing so much mirth, not only to me but the entire community as well. And sorry for continuing to rag you about it like everyone else long after it happened. I should have stopped after the twentieth time or so. And sorry for mentioning it here again.
kenneththegreat, sorry for continuing to call you a small child all these years, but unlike the rest of the people I called small children you were seriously a small child. I mean, goddamn. But if my constant demeaning of your young age caused any hurt then I am truly sorry.
billy bob, Nameless, HannibalBarca, Shy Kid, Yoy21, Anarhco Liberal, Dr. Zoidberg, lifeless?, other people I've called small children, the reason why I kept calling you small children long after it was funny was because as a child prodigy I have a complex when it comes to people younger than me possibly achieving greater successes. Not that any of you did such things, which is a good thing for you actually because instead of trying to achieve great successes on an internet forum you were probably talking to girls or something. And if you haven't been doing that start. Really you guys must be 17-18 by now start immediately.
Fiftypence, we cool. I tried to keep up with your AARs once. Something about turtles.
invertigo2004, I'm still waiting for your AAR's return.
MacRaith, same with you.
Gjerg Kastrioti, you had that really cool British history AAR that mentioned Emperor Tewodros once so that was cool.
Sir Humphrey, I've always had this weird respect for you.
Wolfhound, your comic AARs were a pretty good addition to the diversity of AARland, and honestly when I added the Graphics Category for the ACA I was thinking of you.
The Yogi, your yarns were pretty damn entertaining. Thanks for supporting my failed effort at a HOI2 narrative which was two years ago I think. Or maybe a year ago. Sorry for abandoning it I guess, but I might use that central idea I had later, so you may see it yet, in a form not like this one.
cthulhu, I liked your Lovecraftian AAR as well.
phargle, Knud Knytling remains the best CK AAR, though you may not think so, and to me it's because of its simplicity. And of course it was an inspiration for RMDA. I really liked the experimentation with the song lyric parodies and the iambic pentameter. Also, thank you for your contributions to the AARlander. And you helped out with the ACA that time.
LM+, you did some pretty good AARs, and if I recall correctly you helped me a bit with the HOI2 LibrAARY and that was cool.
Singleton Mosby, others who participated in 'Has Anyone Ever Tried This?', too bad we never got to the actual dance competition. I had a cool idea for a showdown between Haile Selassie and Mussolini.
TC Pilot, sorry for never catching up to Chronological Influences. I remember when you very first started.
El Savior, may you always be immortalized for being the OP of the HOI2 LibrAARy Update Thread
frogbeastegg, reading your AAR was always something I had planned but never got around to. Sorry for that.
Estonianzulu, Phoenix Dace, Atlantic Friend, thank you for being on my AARlander staff, and for being good contributors to the community in general. I just wish I had been more diligent with my end of The AARlander.
ComradeOm, we were supposed to build an empire together, but with the takeover of The AARlander that was sadly not to be. Thanks for helping out so much though. I really did have great plans, too. Your Sins of the Fathers was excellent, and the kind of AAR I'd really like to see more of in AARland.
Rensslaer, you've been a good friend over the years despite us talking to each other at around the rate of twice a year, but that seems to be the norm between me and my Paradox friends. Your help in the early quarters of the ACA was invaluable, and ensured its continued continuance to this day. Can't thank you enough for that.
Hajji Giray I, sorry for not doing that Guess-the-Author thing like I promised. You've been a good friend as well.
Henry v. Keiper, Cicatrix, there was something about souls and Tajihk hats I think. Just letting you know my fifteen-year-old self had fun.
Director, Catknight, Mettermrck, Amric, and others still writing those really long EU2 AARs, you all were on my to-read list but again, I sadly never got around to it. Hypocritical I know, especially as I keep telling others to crack open one of your tomes when they have time. Thank you for your perseverance and quality.
Other old dudes who built the foundations of AARland, thank you for creating a community that I have enjoyed for years. May your efforts never be forgotten.
Lord Durham, Stroph1, thank you for letting me go through with my crazy plans.
canonized, I'm sorry for doing things like intentionally ignoring your PMs and IMs. I must confess that when you once 'chalked up' something to my 'social awkwardness', I really let that stay in my heart and poison my view of you. I also must confess that I really did find your outward personality quite annoying and your true personality quite horrifying, but that shouldn't have affected our projects or our discourse. So please forgive me. You have the desire to change AARland that I once did, and the only difference is that you also have the will to match. And that's when I realized that I had outgrown this place. All of these changes were happening and I couldn't muster up a care.
*********s, and if that's still censored, those-that-cannot-be-named, you guys were a pretty entertaining bunch before the incidents, and it is only for the sake of completeness that I include you here. You were also the only source of major drama here in the five years of my stay. Sorry for being an idiot on your forums, I guess we're even.
curtis, bunch of other guys I spammed OT with back in the day, thanks for letting me get it out of my system while I was young.
MacGregor, cdat, Aragos, Amric, I have appreciated your old-person viewpoints in OT that you have shared over the years. Don't worry I haven't taken them to heart or applied them to my life or anything like that. It was just nice reading of the experiences of men that have already gone through the years ahead of me.
Abdul Goatherd, OHGamer, ComradeOm, Sarmatia, Stonewall, Some Other People I'm Forgetting, thank you for your civil discourse in OT and History. You've taught me that it's possible to have intelligent discussion without being assholes. OHGamer is the best at this. I don't know how that man does it.
KINGBEN, Goraja, Yakman, Olaus Petrus, thank you for making OT interesting.
And finally, Paradox Mods and Admins, thank you for keeping the forums drama-free. Please don't delete or move or edit this post or anything.
And looking back I don't think I've mentioned half the people I should have, but such is life. I just hope that this is sufficient closure for five years' worth of experiences on an internet forum. Five years that end today.
I may return one day, but it will not be under this name, and I will not say a single word about Ethiopia. So this truly is the death of the anonymous4401 you knew.
Peace.
The excuse for this is that I have been accepted into a highly-ranked PhD program in Mathematics with a very prestigious fellowship, and though my life has changed greatly in the past five years this change will dwarf all before it. This program also happens to be tied into a very competitive Financial Mathematics program. Without any exaggeration or humor, I say to you that I have the ability to become a millionaire before the age of twenty-five. Yes, I am gloating on my way out. This is so that you may speak freely about what you've thought of me from what you've seen these past five years and trample on what legacy that I have without feeling guilty in the slightest because I will be achieving successes in the real world in far greater quantities than you will ever be able to in your entire lifetime.
And well, I've also just been losing interest, as you may have been able to tell by my anemic participation in the past year or so. The last time I played a Paradox game was to continue my Crusader Kings AAR. I don't think I actually keep up with any AARs. It really is quite frightening. So I suppose all this is just me finally giving up the ghost.
I am grateful to this community though, and here I mean Paradox at large, for if nothing else the fact that there are far worse online communities to grow up in out there. In fact I honestly cannot think of a community that would have been better. I shudder to think where I could have been but for the grace of God, among that drooling legion peppering their writings with anime-derived emoticons and internet acronyms. And as for AARland specifically, I like the way that for the most part nobody made a big production out of anything. There were no secret clubs or conspiracies or anything like that. It was just a hobby that a bunch of people partook in without drama or seriousness. Such is rare on the Internet, and becoming rarer, and I hope that AARland does not change in that respect. In retrospect, I am nothing but glad that so many of my ideas failed.
Speaking of which, I will now talk about my relationship with this forum over the years with a frankness never before seen or to be seen again. I must confess that what I had most of all was ambition. I saw Prufrock451 and Peter Ebbesen's great AARs being lauded and thought that I too would be like that! And that's all I wanted - the adulation. And I thought that if I just tried hard enough, I could pen the epic AAR that will stand the test of time. To the AARland nubs reading this: DON'T THINK THIS WAY. Vying for the adulation of an internet message board is right above trying to play every Freecell game configuration in order on the list of the most useless things that you could ever try to do. You're writing video game fanfiction, remember that always. Doing it seriously means that you are the biggest loser in the entire universe. No, you should write AARs because you have this cool game that you just played you want to share, or got this story idea while playing the game that you wanted to share, or just because it's fun. If somebody criticizes you, don't take it personally, and if somebody praises you, don't take it personally. In fact I'd go as far as to suggest completely ignoring praise for as long as you can. You're writing video game fanfiction, not an epic novel that will change the world, always remember that. Now don't take this as saying anything against AARland - as I stated before the very lack of such thinking is what makes this community so endearing to me. Please keep it that way by not making the mistakes I made.
My very first AAR was Delusions of Grandeur, an Ethiopia AAR in Vicky, and it sucked. Six months later I restarted it as Delusions of Grandeur: Abyssinia Triumphant. It was supposed to be a grand alternate history epic about the Empire of Ethiopia as it took over pretty much the entire continent of Africa and became a world power. I had planned a dozen 'books' of thirty or so 'chapters' of more than a thousand words each, each starting off with a cool quotation from within the alternate history and everything being all epic. And I was fifteen or sixteen or so when I wrote it, so it sucked. Also I was fifteen or sixteen or so when I wrote it, so my original plan of writing a chapter a day or three chapters a week or whatever did not stand up to the mighty powers of teenage procrastination for long. It took me more than a year to get into the third book, as I recall, with many breaks. But while it was fun at times I also remember stressing out and getting depressed over what seemed to be a lack of views and replies.
My second big AAR was Secrets of the AARk, a HOI2 Ethiopia AAR that was supposed to be a comedy. It was terrible, because it was all the same CHEESE RANDOM LOLOLOL crap that infects the Internet to this day. I suppose I should be glad to have done it though as it had gotten all that out of my system at a young-ish age. But again there was depression over the lack of replies. I even went as far as promising bonus updates if X number of people replied, which ranks among the lamest things I've ever done on this forum.
My third big AAR was Real Men Do It Alphabetically: An AARgau, a Gameplay CK AAR. And from the beginning I told myself that how many views or replies it got would be merely incidental, and not affect the AAR or my attitude to it at all. I had set a goal for myself, and that was updating three times a week. And you know what? This AAR is the only one of my three that I am not embarrassed about in retrospect. I wasn't writing it to create a dramatic epic or a hilarious bit of comedy, and so wasn't disappointed when I looked at it objectively and found it reached far short. I was writing it for its own sake, because I had this cool idea for a game that I wanted to share, and not because I wanted fans or readers. And above all, I wasn't taking it seriously.
So if you take anything out of this really long post, it should be to write AARs purely for fun. Not for anything else. Anything. If my legacy was just to have that drilled into all your heads then I'd say it was worth it.
Speaking of my legacy, it certainly is not my AARs, seeing as how then my legacy would be three really long unfinished AARs that have achieved moderate success, which is kinda depressing. No, my legacy are the two AARland institutions that I have created, the AARland Choice AwAARds and The AARlander. And I must be honest here with you now: The reasons why I created these institutions were purely self-serving. As for the ACA, at the time there was no regular awards system in AARland. The ACA is still the only regular awards system. And the reason why I created it was because I wanted my AARs to win awards, and that was hard without a regular awards system. Do you know the reason why I've insisted on keeping Comedy a separate category? Because I wanted Secrets of the AARk to win it. True story. And The AARlander was to be a way to wield power and command adulation from AARland with minimal effort. I hope you don't throw away your trophies or anything.
But you see, I designed them to need minimal effort not only because of the obvious, but also because I really did want the institutions to be easy to continue even after I was gone. And it looks like it has succeeded! You've all passed my test! Congratulations! But the following is my 'last will and testament' if you wish, considering my legacy. Unlike an actual will you don't have to follow it but whatever.
1. The ACA. Of course it will continue schedule-wise in the same format, running for the first month of the quarter with voting reminders at diminishing intervals and private votes being posted anonymously at the end of the voting round. I hope all that is self-evident, as is the format for which results will be placed in the ACA Results Archive. As to the question of Categories, I would like for them to remain as-is with the Overall, Narrative, Comedy, History-Book, and Gameplay for each game, adding new games as they are released. And an important thing: If it is judged that a game category does not have enough activity in the quarter to warrant all five categories, then I would like to just have a single 'Overall' category of that game. I would like EU2/1 to remain separate until EU2 reaches the activity levels of EU1 which is literally two running AARs if that. I can see EU2/1 being dropped to one category first, followed by perhaps CK then Vicky, barring expansions or sequels or something, I don't know. In any case, it is ultimately up to the current host, which I guess is coz1. As for the Overall categories, I was contemplating dropping New Writer if voting in it continues to be so anemic, so that's up to you. I just ask to not have a Favorite Character category because that just ends up being a mess.
2. The AARlander. Looks like this has gone on without me as well, and under new management. My first request would be to be given the title of 'Editor Emeritus' or something that equally means 'guy-who-doesn't-work-for-it-anymore'. My second request, which is much less likely to be fulfilled, is to have The AARlander be run by my designated successor, that is, whoever among ComradeOm, Rensslaer, Hajji Giray I, stnylan, or coz1 wishes to take it, in that order. Unfortunately I never bothered to actually designate them publically, so a succession based on this is questionable at best. So that's up to the current management. Hell, all of them are probably busy anyway.
3. The HOI2 LibrAARy. HOI2 is huge. Imagine a huge forum. It's pretty huge. Nobody will ever actually update this. It will be stuck at being last updated in 2006 until the end of time. These are simply declarative statements, not something that I want my will to enforce or anything. Just saying.
4. The OscAARs/Scrolls/VictAARian Crosses/Whatever. Bring them back and make sure they're as regular as the ACAs this time. You guys have a precedent for actually being regular now.
Now I would like to give some shout-outs to various people who have existed over the years. I wish I could be sure this was everybody, and if I missed you I'm sorry, but I ain't coming back to fix it! In no particular order:
Prufrock451 and Peter Ebbesen, your excellent AARs were among the first I've ever read all those years ago, specifically WAAR of the Worlds and To Stand Against The Night. The former especially gave off an air of simply having fun, and that was something I think will be missed in this community.
coz1 and stnylan, you may or may not remember the fact that you two were the entire readership of my first Delusions of Grandeur AAR at one point. You've always been in a special place in my mind and it simply felt natural when you became Demi-Moderators. I still have the PMs each of you sent me back in January-February 2004 when I was feeling angsty about my AAR in my Archived folder. They've been replicated dozens of times consequently in many PM-savings-to-text over the years. Your words will live on forever.
Semi-Lobster, your own Ethiopia AAR was the inspiration for that whole Secrets of the AARk business and you were one of my earliest fans and friends. I would say 'I should have kept in touch with you' but I'm pretty sure I can say that for everybody on this list.
calcsam2, you too were one of my earliest fans and friends and at one point we were going to do a joint AAR in the Delusions of Grandeur world or something. You posted one update I think, disappeared for two years, came back to post a comment in DoG, then disappeared again after that. So you probably won't read this but whatever.
JoshWeber, you were a good friend and wrote a couple of pretty decent AARs as well. Your ban of four years ago was bullshit.
The rest of the DoG readers, your words praised it to the heavens as being a marvelous work of literature. You were wrong of course. The narrative was basically entirely geopolitical exposition interspersed with bland dialogue and cliche plot twists. But 16-year-old me must've been made very happy by your words. Sorry for abandoning it, especially after hinting at a lot of awesome things to come.
Le Ran, you SotA-loving Frenchman, you did good for yourself in picking up that HOI2 Comedy torch. I was honored to have the torch pass to For A Few ReincAARnations More. Didn't like This Is SpAARta! though, though for all I know that ended months ago. Haven't really been keeping up with HOI2 AARs see. Actually any AARs. Anyway, thanks for being a fan and helping out with those French translations.
Snake IV, sorry for that LibrAARy incident and that SotA thing, I was being a huge dick as well as completely pathetic. Thanks for being honest.
Rest of SotA readers, sorry for melting down at you that one time, it was really pathetic of me. And sorry for failing to deliver on those bonus updates on the last month that SotA was regularly updated. And sorry for abandoning it. I had an epic ending planned which I never got around to so I will tell it to you right now: It was basically going to be on the premise that SotA was a television show. The penultimate update would have been me going up to the Board of Directors and failing to convince them that SotA should be renewed for a second season. And then the ultimate update would be an epic story about me and the actors and crew getting together and robbing a zeppelin or something. Anyway it ends with the premiering of the SotA movie financed by said efforts. The guy playing Herouy/Heruy would be a classically-trained Shakespearean actor who was grateful to me for writing in the Heruy role after being forced to act as the buffoonish Herouy for so long. It would've been a pretty funny idea and I could've stuck it in whenever I got tired of the AAR itself but it never materialized.
Murmurandus, I'd say something bad about your pretty-much-spam postings in RMDA, but that would be hypocritical. So thanks for sticking to the spirit of the AAR for so long. If anyone were to commend me for my perseverance they should commend you as well.
Rest of RMDA readers, you should really be thanking ME here because RMDA was pretty much the perfect way to boost your postcount without it technically being spam. But thanks, and I hope I inspired the idea of playing games with crazy goals like that.
Dysken, you were a SotA reader and I talked to you on MSN or something and that was pretty cool. Also you were part of the Paradox Urban Dead team and that was cool too.
Underhand, sorry for not being on MSN for the past few months. Hell you might be the only reason if I ever get back on it. And Urban Dead was fun.
The Gonzo, I guess you hate me for some reason but whatever it is, I'm sorry. Wish I knew what it was though. If it was about calling you and the other people that were younger than me children then I am more specifically sorry, I never meant to offend.
Rest of Paradox Urban Dead crew, thanks for putting up with my crazy plans and sometimes even implementing them, especially in the face of my frequent absences.
Strategist and the rest of the Paradox Travian crew, thank you for going on to be awesome after the breakup of the overarching alliance at the hands of my incompetent leadership. I assume that I have a place in your historical annals. If not then put me there.
Carthade, you'll probably hate me for this because finally people have forgotten about it, but as this is my farewell I must mention That Incident one more time. Thank you for providing so much mirth, not only to me but the entire community as well. And sorry for continuing to rag you about it like everyone else long after it happened. I should have stopped after the twentieth time or so. And sorry for mentioning it here again.
kenneththegreat, sorry for continuing to call you a small child all these years, but unlike the rest of the people I called small children you were seriously a small child. I mean, goddamn. But if my constant demeaning of your young age caused any hurt then I am truly sorry.
billy bob, Nameless, HannibalBarca, Shy Kid, Yoy21, Anarhco Liberal, Dr. Zoidberg, lifeless?, other people I've called small children, the reason why I kept calling you small children long after it was funny was because as a child prodigy I have a complex when it comes to people younger than me possibly achieving greater successes. Not that any of you did such things, which is a good thing for you actually because instead of trying to achieve great successes on an internet forum you were probably talking to girls or something. And if you haven't been doing that start. Really you guys must be 17-18 by now start immediately.
Fiftypence, we cool. I tried to keep up with your AARs once. Something about turtles.
invertigo2004, I'm still waiting for your AAR's return.
MacRaith, same with you.
Gjerg Kastrioti, you had that really cool British history AAR that mentioned Emperor Tewodros once so that was cool.
Sir Humphrey, I've always had this weird respect for you.
Wolfhound, your comic AARs were a pretty good addition to the diversity of AARland, and honestly when I added the Graphics Category for the ACA I was thinking of you.
The Yogi, your yarns were pretty damn entertaining. Thanks for supporting my failed effort at a HOI2 narrative which was two years ago I think. Or maybe a year ago. Sorry for abandoning it I guess, but I might use that central idea I had later, so you may see it yet, in a form not like this one.
cthulhu, I liked your Lovecraftian AAR as well.
phargle, Knud Knytling remains the best CK AAR, though you may not think so, and to me it's because of its simplicity. And of course it was an inspiration for RMDA. I really liked the experimentation with the song lyric parodies and the iambic pentameter. Also, thank you for your contributions to the AARlander. And you helped out with the ACA that time.
LM+, you did some pretty good AARs, and if I recall correctly you helped me a bit with the HOI2 LibrAARY and that was cool.
Singleton Mosby, others who participated in 'Has Anyone Ever Tried This?', too bad we never got to the actual dance competition. I had a cool idea for a showdown between Haile Selassie and Mussolini.
TC Pilot, sorry for never catching up to Chronological Influences. I remember when you very first started.
El Savior, may you always be immortalized for being the OP of the HOI2 LibrAARy Update Thread
frogbeastegg, reading your AAR was always something I had planned but never got around to. Sorry for that.
Estonianzulu, Phoenix Dace, Atlantic Friend, thank you for being on my AARlander staff, and for being good contributors to the community in general. I just wish I had been more diligent with my end of The AARlander.
ComradeOm, we were supposed to build an empire together, but with the takeover of The AARlander that was sadly not to be. Thanks for helping out so much though. I really did have great plans, too. Your Sins of the Fathers was excellent, and the kind of AAR I'd really like to see more of in AARland.
Rensslaer, you've been a good friend over the years despite us talking to each other at around the rate of twice a year, but that seems to be the norm between me and my Paradox friends. Your help in the early quarters of the ACA was invaluable, and ensured its continued continuance to this day. Can't thank you enough for that.
Hajji Giray I, sorry for not doing that Guess-the-Author thing like I promised. You've been a good friend as well.
Henry v. Keiper, Cicatrix, there was something about souls and Tajihk hats I think. Just letting you know my fifteen-year-old self had fun.
Director, Catknight, Mettermrck, Amric, and others still writing those really long EU2 AARs, you all were on my to-read list but again, I sadly never got around to it. Hypocritical I know, especially as I keep telling others to crack open one of your tomes when they have time. Thank you for your perseverance and quality.
Other old dudes who built the foundations of AARland, thank you for creating a community that I have enjoyed for years. May your efforts never be forgotten.
Lord Durham, Stroph1, thank you for letting me go through with my crazy plans.
canonized, I'm sorry for doing things like intentionally ignoring your PMs and IMs. I must confess that when you once 'chalked up' something to my 'social awkwardness', I really let that stay in my heart and poison my view of you. I also must confess that I really did find your outward personality quite annoying and your true personality quite horrifying, but that shouldn't have affected our projects or our discourse. So please forgive me. You have the desire to change AARland that I once did, and the only difference is that you also have the will to match. And that's when I realized that I had outgrown this place. All of these changes were happening and I couldn't muster up a care.
*********s, and if that's still censored, those-that-cannot-be-named, you guys were a pretty entertaining bunch before the incidents, and it is only for the sake of completeness that I include you here. You were also the only source of major drama here in the five years of my stay. Sorry for being an idiot on your forums, I guess we're even.
curtis, bunch of other guys I spammed OT with back in the day, thanks for letting me get it out of my system while I was young.
MacGregor, cdat, Aragos, Amric, I have appreciated your old-person viewpoints in OT that you have shared over the years. Don't worry I haven't taken them to heart or applied them to my life or anything like that. It was just nice reading of the experiences of men that have already gone through the years ahead of me.
Abdul Goatherd, OHGamer, ComradeOm, Sarmatia, Stonewall, Some Other People I'm Forgetting, thank you for your civil discourse in OT and History. You've taught me that it's possible to have intelligent discussion without being assholes. OHGamer is the best at this. I don't know how that man does it.
KINGBEN, Goraja, Yakman, Olaus Petrus, thank you for making OT interesting.
And finally, Paradox Mods and Admins, thank you for keeping the forums drama-free. Please don't delete or move or edit this post or anything.
And looking back I don't think I've mentioned half the people I should have, but such is life. I just hope that this is sufficient closure for five years' worth of experiences on an internet forum. Five years that end today.
I may return one day, but it will not be under this name, and I will not say a single word about Ethiopia. So this truly is the death of the anonymous4401 you knew.
Peace.
