- Aug 19, 2004
A Brief History of the Scottish Empire 1419 - 1819
"There's nary a thing alive that ca' outroon a greased Scotsman!" Groundskeeper Willie, The Simpsons
Scotland in 1419 was weak, but with a disproportionately large army. Also, they are war with England. Guess what happened next? Yep, hordes of angry Scotsmen poured across the border, laying siege to Newcastle, Lancaster and York. Cries of "Freedom!" were oft cited to be heard, as the hordes moved ever southwards. By 1422 the Scots had taken London, and in the French agreed a treaty at Groningen handing over Lancashire and Northumberland to the Scots.
After a few years the regent Murdoch got bored, and decided to invade Ireland. Apparently he left a load of shields there, and had to fight the war to get those shields back. Or something.
Anyway, the war went badly, due to the 1 ship Irish navy repeated battering five Scottish ships. The Scots are not by nature a seafaring nation. Eventually Scotland occupied Ireland, and Murdoch got back 3 of his four shields.
Murdoch: Damn snivelling Irish, stealing my shields!
In the middle of 1424 Norwegian maps were gained from the, uh, Norwegians, which gave the Scots knowledge of Greenland and the seas around Newfoundland.
During this time the king had been kidnapped, and held by the snivelling English in London. In 1425 Murdoch did not ransom the king. Bastard.
Murdoch: I could ransom the king... but I really don't want to.
War once again broke out with England in 1427. More hordes rolled across the border, with cries of "Oppression!" frequently heard. Province after province fell as the Scots wiped the floor with the pitiful sassenach pigdogs. God, how the Scots hate those dastardly English. Even when being defeated totally they still managed to commit horrible cruelties during the war. The Scots, on the otherhand, acted nothing other than honorably (well, respectably at least. Nothing slightly tarnished about the Scots).
Burgundy paid a modest fee for peace in June 1428, and after many years of hard fighting England folded, giving Kent, Lincoln, Midlands, Yorkshire and Meath to the glorious Scots. Mostly the English army was fighting in France, giving the Scots more or less a free reign in the British Isles.
Kent was badly isolated from mainland Scotland, and a massive revolt meant that the province was to become a source of irritation to the Scots. It was eventually defeated after a daring mission.
In 1434 France declarted war on Brittany, leading to Scotland dishonouring the alliance in a show of solidarity with their fellow celts. They re-entered the alliance in spring 1435. Brittany was soon to fall under heavy French influence.
War once again broke out in Britain in 1438, with England losing all their French territory to France. The war on the island took a little longer, with England surrendering in May 1442. All that remained was London and it's surrounding. People in the conquered territories steadfastly refused to start eating haggis, playing the bagpipes and doing the Highland Fling, much to the irritation of their liberators.
1443 saw a brief war with Denmark, with brave Scottish soldiers slaughtering defenceless Danish traders in Greenland. New Scottish trading posts were established in this region. Peace was soon signed, a glorious Scottish victory.
The following events were one of the most strange seen in history. Criminal gangs from Albania annexed England and Ulster, causing much irritation for the Scots, mostly because the Albanians spoke better English. A couple of brief wars forced the Albanians from Britain, but at the cost of the Greenland trading posts. The Albanians showed no mercy in their slaughter of the innocent Scottish traders. Upon the capture of London the Scots established a vassal state in England
After the capture of London but before the capture of Ulster.
In 1468 Albania attacked Scotland, ending with Ulster becoming the latest addition to the Scottish Empire in 1470.
The 1470s and 1480s saw the development of the Greenland colonies, with the cities of New Edinburgh and New Glasgow becoming thriving settlements loyal to the Scottish King (now James II). During a brief alliance the Scots had gained maps from Portugal, and were able to establish a settlement in Brazil.
During the 1490s Dundee, the main town, became a thriving port.
Peace reigned for many years, with Scotland quietly building up naval strength. This resulted in a surprise attack on France, with James II stating the cause to be the liberation of the oppressed Celts in Brittany. No one really bought it.
James II: This is by no means shameless opportunism!
The war started well for the Scots, with the capture of Brest in October 1507. Unfortunately, the Scots were to capture no more major towns (being too transfixed with Brest), and were driven by the evil French defenders. The war ended as a stalemate in June of 1508.
The Scottish Empire, 1509.
Next: I don't know really, I haven't played beyond this point.
I decided to start a new thread as some may not go back to the Uzbek one, what with it being finished and all. This will be very quick, and a proper AAR will start in about a week.