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A Brief History of the Scottish Empire 1419 - 1819​

"There's nary a thing alive that ca' outroon a greased Scotsman!" Groundskeeper Willie, The Simpsons

Scotland in 1419 was weak, but with a disproportionately large army. Also, they are war with England. Guess what happened next? Yep, hordes of angry Scotsmen poured across the border, laying siege to Newcastle, Lancaster and York. Cries of "Freedom!" were oft cited to be heard, as the hordes moved ever southwards. By 1422 the Scots had taken London, and in the French agreed a treaty at Groningen handing over Lancashire and Northumberland to the Scots.


After a few years the regent Murdoch got bored, and decided to invade Ireland. Apparently he left a load of shields there, and had to fight the war to get those shields back. Or something.

Anyway, the war went badly, due to the 1 ship Irish navy repeated battering five Scottish ships. The Scots are not by nature a seafaring nation. Eventually Scotland occupied Ireland, and Murdoch got back 3 of his four shields.

Murdoch: Damn snivelling Irish, stealing my shields!

In the middle of 1424 Norwegian maps were gained from the, uh, Norwegians, which gave the Scots knowledge of Greenland and the seas around Newfoundland.

During this time the king had been kidnapped, and held by the snivelling English in London. In 1425 Murdoch did not ransom the king. Bastard.

Murdoch: I could ransom the king... but I really don't want to.

War once again broke out with England in 1427. More hordes rolled across the border, with cries of "Oppression!" frequently heard. Province after province fell as the Scots wiped the floor with the pitiful sassenach pigdogs. God, how the Scots hate those dastardly English. Even when being defeated totally they still managed to commit horrible cruelties during the war. The Scots, on the otherhand, acted nothing other than honorably (well, respectably at least. Nothing slightly tarnished about the Scots).

Burgundy paid a modest fee for peace in June 1428, and after many years of hard fighting England folded, giving Kent, Lincoln, Midlands, Yorkshire and Meath to the glorious Scots. Mostly the English army was fighting in France, giving the Scots more or less a free reign in the British Isles.


Kent was badly isolated from mainland Scotland, and a massive revolt meant that the province was to become a source of irritation to the Scots. It was eventually defeated after a daring mission.

In 1434 France declarted war on Brittany, leading to Scotland dishonouring the alliance in a show of solidarity with their fellow celts. They re-entered the alliance in spring 1435. Brittany was soon to fall under heavy French influence.

War once again broke out in Britain in 1438, with England losing all their French territory to France. The war on the island took a little longer, with England surrendering in May 1442. All that remained was London and it's surrounding. People in the conquered territories steadfastly refused to start eating haggis, playing the bagpipes and doing the Highland Fling, much to the irritation of their liberators.

1443 saw a brief war with Denmark, with brave Scottish soldiers slaughtering defenceless Danish traders in Greenland. New Scottish trading posts were established in this region. Peace was soon signed, a glorious Scottish victory.

The following events were one of the most strange seen in history. Criminal gangs from Albania annexed England and Ulster, causing much irritation for the Scots, mostly because the Albanians spoke better English. A couple of brief wars forced the Albanians from Britain, but at the cost of the Greenland trading posts. The Albanians showed no mercy in their slaughter of the innocent Scottish traders. Upon the capture of London the Scots established a vassal state in England

After the capture of London but before the capture of Ulster.​

In 1468 Albania attacked Scotland, ending with Ulster becoming the latest addition to the Scottish Empire in 1470.

The 1470s and 1480s saw the development of the Greenland colonies, with the cities of New Edinburgh and New Glasgow becoming thriving settlements loyal to the Scottish King (now James II). During a brief alliance the Scots had gained maps from Portugal, and were able to establish a settlement in Brazil.


During the 1490s Dundee, the main town, became a thriving port.

Peace reigned for many years, with Scotland quietly building up naval strength. This resulted in a surprise attack on France, with James II stating the cause to be the liberation of the oppressed Celts in Brittany. No one really bought it.

James II: This is by no means shameless opportunism!

The war started well for the Scots, with the capture of Brest in October 1507. Unfortunately, the Scots were to capture no more major towns (being too transfixed with Brest), and were driven by the evil French defenders. The war ended as a stalemate in June of 1508.

The Scottish Empire, 1509.​

Next: I don't know really, I haven't played beyond this point.


I decided to start a new thread as some may not go back to the Uzbek one, what with it being finished and all. This will be very quick, and a proper AAR will start in about a week.
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A very nice story, Fiftypence! I like the idea of an AAR that only takes a week to write/read. ;) And Glorious Scotland into the bargain - what could be better? BTW do they English have any new world colonies that you're going to snap up once the CoT appears, or did you trash them too thoroughly? :D
A Brief History of the Scottish Empire 1419 - 1819​

"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't seen the joke yet." Oliver Herford

The early sixteenth century saw Scotland fighting her first continental war, when their English vassals (read bitches) declared war on beleaguered Burgundy, along with most of the civilised world. While the sassenachs did not seem to realise their was a war on, the Scots did and sent three large inasion forces to occupy the Dutch provinces. The war went well, mostly because Burgundy did not have an army, but lasted a full seven years. Eventually, in 1520, Burgundy surrendered, granting the Scottish King ownership of the Dutch provinces of Zeeland, Friesen, Holland and Geldre. Unfortunately, the Aragonese had occupied Antwerp, meaning that the Scots were unable to gain the rich trading city for themselves.


The Scottish Netherlands. Aragon could have at least taken Flanders!​

In 1523 the King accidently annexed England, after a mix up involving paperwork and an annoying mouse. This was particularly irritating as the King knew that in seven years time London would have become a wealthy trading centre.

However, it was discovered that England already had a trading centre, in their colonial city of Queenstown, so the King was not too unhappy after all.


New colonies in the Caribbean inherited from England.​

The 1520s saw the beginnings of a Scottish Empire in the Americas, with various new cities being established in those areas of Nova Scotia that the English had had knowledge of. However, the prospect of discovering new areas seemed remote, and so the King decided to take decisive action. A few years before the Portuguese had illegally seized the Scottish colonial city of Dundee in Brazil, oppressing the native Scots who had made their homes here. Under this pretext Scotland, upon securing an alliance with Spain and Navarra, declared war on the perfidious Portuguese. It was time to properly test that newly built navy.

Battle after battle were won at sea by the heroic Scottish navy, allowing for a landing on the Iberian peninsula. Spain took Porto for peace in early 1527, leaving it down to Scotland and Navarra to lay siege to Lisbon, which fell in December of the same year. The city was plundered, and in the panic and confusion the King's special agents were able to steal several very informative Portuguese maps. A white peace with Portugal was agreed early in the New Year.

During the 1530s the Scots strengthened their position in America, and in 1540 the brave explorer Thomas came to the King, and mapped vast areas of the New World for the Scottish Crown. Over the course of the next decade colonies were established both around the St. Lawrence River and the area that came to be known as South New Scotland, south of the native Lenape tribe and north of the Creek Confederacy.

If the previous two decades had been fairly quiet then the 1550s was anything but. The religious strife of the continent finally hit Scotland when the Queen decreed that Scotland would from this time forward would have protestantism as it's state religion. Many people, including peasants and aristocrats alike were a bit confused by this, as Lutheranism was seen as the foul perfidious religion of the sassenachs down south. The Queen's intentions became more apparent when after a couple of months Scotland became the first and only country in the world to embrace the teachings of Calvin, modified slightly to create the Scottish Presbyterian Church, a religion prevalent in the Scottish mainland as well as the Scottish Netherlands.

Later that decade the Lords of the Covenant came to Queen Mary demanding that Scotland should convert to Reformed Christianity. It turned out that The Lords had actually been on Mars for the last ten years, and so this faux pas was excused.

Scotland continued on her merry path, colonising and discovering new provinces, until the forced abdication of Mary in 1567. When pressed on the reasons, the Queen's spokesperson mumbled something about stupid irrelevent events, although what he meant remains a mystery to this day.

The 1570s saw the expansion of several Scottish trading posts, with the establishment of the new cities of Queenston, Airdrie and Dunfermline* in Nova Scotia, along with new settlements in Cape Verde and St. Helena, and indeed by 1586 Dunfermline, in the state of Stadacone, had become a flourishing centre of trade, drawing merchants from several of the native nations and of course Scotland.


New Scotland as of 1580.​

The year of 1593 saw a decisive shift in Scottish colonial policy, after an edict legitimising the use of force against the larger native nations in New Scotland. The Lenape tribe was attacked, although impressive fortifications slowed the Scottish avalanche, resulting in only part of the country being taken in a treaty of 1594, with the city of Delaware being renamed Selkirk in the early 1600s.

The early seventeenth century saw the King send many Presbyterian missionaries to Ireland in an attempt to rid them of the catholic faith. James VIs attempts were only partially sucessful, with the northern provinces of Ulster, Meath and Connaught converting by the late 1620s.

In 1616 a new war with Lenape broke out, with the Scots again failing to gain a decisive victory against the natives, with Manhattan becoming a new colony in 1618. More wars were fought against the native tribes of Creek (1636) and Huron (1638), with the total conquest of these tribes unproblematic for the glorious Scottish Empire. By the mid seventeenth century Scotland were by far the most promenant colonial power, although the continental provinces remained in a delicate position, with the French advancing quite far into Germany. Surely it was only a matter of time until the French cast their eyes towards the Scottish Netherlands.


New Scotland in 1645​

*I added Scottish colony names in the colonynames file, in case you're wondering.
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BBBD: Basically bacause they failed to defend their home province in any way whatsover.

Farquharson: Indeed, they had a CoT in Placentia. I accidently clicked annex before I meant to, which was a bit silly, so I didn't get the Anglia CoT :eek:o

Lord J. Roxton: Well, this is a "Brief History of the Scottish Empire". I don't mince my words. :D
Let's see where this goes. I'd wish you good luck, but you seem to have plenty of it already ;)
Hmm, just out of curiousity could you have released England as a vassal, then re-diploannex them after 1530?
Clear, concise, and to the point. Excellent! Oh, and brief ;)
Grundius: Good luck? I'm not sure about that. Normally I would want to forcevassalise England as a one province nation, rather than be forced to release them as a strong sattelite. Scotland is actually fairly easy, due to the woeful England AI.

Catknight: Could have done that, although there would have been a risk that they would refuse annexation and cancel the vassalisation. The Anglia CoT is not that valuable, and I have done fine without it. ;)

Judas Maccabeus: Well, wherever they go it probably won't be Baden. Kentucky, on the other hand...

Farquharson: Europe is currently dominated by Austria and France. Who are allies. I don't think I'll be doing much on the continent :eek:

stnylan: Thanks. Yes, it is brief, isn't it?
A Brief History of the Scottish Empire 1419 - 1819​

"There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter." Billy Connolly

As the halfway point of the seventeenth century approached Scotland found herself involved in two wars, in which not a single Scotsman fought against Gotland and Denmark, the latter being conquered in it's entirety by Courland.

The 1650's were quiet, although somewhere in an alternative universe two civil wars resulted in the overthrow of the monarchy and the establishment of a military dictatorship in Lesser Scotland (England), and it seemed these two realities merged in 1660 when Charles II, son of the King Charles I, was restored to the throne. Everyone involved got slight headaches, and had to go for a lie down.

Meanwhile, in America war broke out with the tribe of Iroquios, who fought using a combination of massed ranks and cruel winters. It, along with the isolated and innaccessable land of Hindua, prevented a total Scottish conquest, with the natives ceding the lands of Susquehanna, Tuscarora and Shenandoah. The war ended in 1665.

The second half of the seventeenth century saw a lull in colonisation, with the Scottish Crown concentrating on consolidating their holdings and improving the overall infrastructure of the empire. Indeed, such progress was made in the formerly Huron province of Oshawa that it blossomed into a thriving trading centre, drawing merchants from those remaining native nations. However, Scotland was not content with mere economic domination of the continent, and sought to destroy the power of the Cherokee and gain access to the Great Plains that supposedly lay beyond.

The first war with the Cherokee was, of course, an easy victory for the Europeans, although the wise and beneficient King decided tto merely take the regions of Erie and Kentucky for peace in a treaty of 1677.

Crucially, this allowed Scotland access to Hindua, and thus meant a total annexation of all Iroquios land was possible. Within ten years, all Iroqouis lands were incorporated into New Scotland.


New Scotland as of 1686​

Domesatically, the King concentrated on conerting the British Isles to the one true faith of Scottish Presbyterianism. His efforts were rewarded with partial success, coming in the total conversion of Ireland. However, the foul sassenachs of Lincolnshire, Lancashire, Cornwall and London held on to their faith, while Wessex and Wales gradually embraced the religion of their protectors.


Map of 1708​

The decade preceding the new century saw Scottish expansion on two very different fronts. In the Americas the Cherokee were finally crushed once and for all in 1698, and the brave explorer Campbell mapped new areas beyond these lands, which were in time to become Scottish colonies. The other expansion came on the continent. In the 1670s Scotland had had much influence among the nobles of the city sate of Meckenburg, who had extensive holdings in North Germany and Flanders. In 1690 it was decreed that Meckenburg, Holstein, Anhalt and Antwerp were to be directly administered by the Scottish crown, with the Duke of Mecklenburg remaining as governor.

The beginning of the 18th century saw the expansion of some of the smaller colonies in the region known as New Ireland, in the provinces of Catskill and Adirondak, along with the region of New Wales, otherwise known as Connecticut. Colonies were also built in the lands beyond the lands of the Cherokee, areas which came to be known as New Holland and New Germany.

In the 1720s nothing much happened.


Europe 1730


America in 1730​
What a pair of mighty blobs.
Austria seem to have divided Europe between them. Make them see things the Scottish way, laddy!
Brief indeed! ;) But very good. :)

France is doing well! brr, rarely seen the continent look so homogenus...