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wam-mnebu

Second Lieutenant
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Jan 2, 2011
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Falling Into Favor
origionalcoatofarms-1.png

The Adventures of Kristof Dabilovich


Hello to all, who stumble pon this humble post.

My name is wammnebu, and this will be my first AAR. So i only joined into the Paradox scene last christmas with a steam sale of EU3, and since then I have realized this developer of all my history nerd dreams. The best part about the games though are the AARs, I mean other games and videos involve fanfiction with character A in *censored* with B, but here they are alternate history novels. I love reading AAR's. just finishing Iain's Suenik the Beleaguered, and wanted to write my own.

I also will say that I really like Mount and Blade So far. Its like this cross-breed between the best parts of Sid Meier's Pirates and Oblivion, satisfying that one frustrating wish i had where I could go into my game of total war and teach those stupid soldiers what side you launch the arrows with.

So after a few "junk accounts" where i learned how to play the game (all the while enslaved more than Ben-Hur trapped in Groundhog Day). I am going to start my own AAR. I will make one thing clear, like most things i like, i suck at them pretty hard.* Any advice, encouragement, or criticism from the community here would be most welcome as I stumble bout the map of Europe.

I'll probably move slower than most people here, but i'm open to correction if my pacing is bad.

*double entendre



 
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Chapter 1: And you may find yourself,in another part of the world

Falling Into Favor
Chapter 1: And you may find yourself, in another part of the world

2011-04-30_00007-1.jpg
Now, where do I begin, um… well, Hi?

Yes hi, allow me to introduce myself, I am Kristof Dabilovych, you probably haven’t heard of me before…have you?

No, I figured not. Here let me buy you a drink
-Bartender! pour me and my lady friend a glass of your most reasonably priced wine-
Anyways where do I begin? So-excuse me…*Kristof turns around* STOP SMIRKING YOU FILTHY PEASANTS, GET YOUR OWN HERALDRY AND WELL TALK! I guess that’s as good a place to start as any.

My family, the Dabilovych’s, come from a Slavic Kingdom called Valdimir, which is somewhere to the east, just follow the rising sun till you freeze to death. My families fall to power began when I was born-nonono, when not because I was born, I’m not cursed please stop inching your chair away.
You see, what happened was my beloved father, while a good man, was not a good Knyaz, squandering his fortune on friends, food, and fighting the oncoming horde. With all our good bribe money gone they forced us off our lands with nothing more than our name. Well, thats not true...We also had the protection of our proud family crest, which was especially helpful during the heavy snows.
What? Oh, my crest? Yeah you can see it,
2011-04-30_00042-1.jpg
woefully appropriate right?

There’s actually a funny story about that, you see after my father died from a dagger-inflicted heart attack, my brother and I went to work our separate ways. We split our inheritance equally: I got the 2 loaves of bread, he got the crest, i got the titles, he got the firewood, etc etc. But the banner was in one piece, so we split it equally. You see, my banner is only half of the full banner.
origionalcoatofarms.png
So when we went our separate ways, he took his fire-breathing-king-bears off to Yaroslavl, and I got the house collapsing on itself.
About 8 years ago I was walking through the winter and slipped on a river onto my hind. Consequently; I walked into a tavern and an old German knight heard me cursing about Novgorod ice. He called me out and… sorry Ill cut to the chase.

Why I’m adventuring? I cant do much else. After my travels with the Teutonic knight I was able to afford an education. But My parents and old passers by in the Rus, recommended the Romonioi Academy as the finest institution in the world. I applied, was accepted, and found after all of the staffnecks and budget cuts, the university wasn’t the most prestigious institution. Nevertheless; I finished my studies in Greek literature, and philosophy.
-It wasn’t a complete loss though,-thanks to my studies (and lack of security in the old library) I came across this old book of ancient wisdom and poetry. One that enlightened my soul, and I hope to spread its joy to the whole of Europe, you see its…
2011-04-30_00012-1.jpg

OHHH DAMN IT, I GRABBED THE WRONG BOOK-aghh how did I do that, I only had three, does that mean i-and my book is----awwwww

*sigh*

So, anyways, realizing the economy in Constantinople didn’t have use for non-sociopathic poets; I remembered my old master's home of North Germany, so with the clothes on my back, some money, fish, and my freshman economics textbook, I joined a group of traders for Elbing, to seek my fortune.
So that’s the sad story of how I got here, what do you think?
2011-04-30_00011-1-1.jpg

Liudvika: Am I hired?
Yeah, see you at six tomorrow.
 
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Thanks,

any tips or critiques for me before i post part 2 tomorrow?
 
Chapter 2: And You May Find Yourself, Living in a Shutdown Shack

Falling into Favor
The Adventures of Kristof Dabilovych


Chapter 2:
And You May Find Yourself, Living in a Shotgun Shack…


I wasn’t really the very best at combat, I lost a lot of supper-money from Genoas back at Byzantine U.
Yes I was a squire for that old Teutonic Knight, but I was a squire, but squires dont fight, we only rub our master's sword or hold his pole, polish his blade, that sort of thing. I didn’t use it on anyone else, or see any action myself.

Yes the old knight taught me the basic principles of swords and arrows, but that was against dummy targets and defenseless peasants. So my first encounter with dummies that fight back was here, and didn’t exactly display much finesse.

My first day in the city of Elbing was greeted by shouting bearded man, on my way to the tavern. I panicked, fired my bolt into his torso and kicked him in the crotch.
2011-04-30_00008-2.jpg


Hardly the most Valorus display, but the merchant Gerlt, saw this as the return of the Mighty BootvonBolt, the famed crotch-kicker bowman. So upon seeing me beseeched me to rescue his lost brother. I hesitated, but he offered me a convincing argument in exact change...
And here I thought that this seeking fortune business would be slow…

2011-04-30_00016-1.jpg


Volkstiffen the Arena-manager: Sir, the match begins in 5 minutes, which weapon you prefer?
Well, lets see, I could bear to improve my skills, so I believe I shall work with the claymore, thank you.

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGEEEEEEEEEEEE! *thwack*
2011-04-30_00015.jpg

-So as I was saying, I figured that the fighting arenas –OW- would be the perfect place to reacquaint myself with weaponssssss*clack* Because no matter how many bruises and welts I earn *OOF* or end the day more beaten and wasted than Constantinople *KYAH THUD* I won’t get killed or enslaved if I loose a sporting battle *dodge* or can I? –hmm that might have changed given ratings the way they are, I probably should have looked into that before joining the fray
-Excuse me , do you know if Elbing arenas use *BAM*

*ker-flop *
Volkstiffen: You took quite a beating there, the crowd loved it-hahaha-I mean- are you all right?
I gots money?
*tosses a small sack of coins*
Need more-I go gan
Volkstiffen: Er,I appreciate the enthusiasm kid, but shouldn’t you get some rest first?
Me get big stick, get denar-eeeeeeeeeeyeh
I feel like that’s a bad idea,
GIMMIE DABIGSTIK! you get me coin big stick?
*big stick nods*
CHYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! *OOF*
2011-04-30_00014.jpg


Two days later​

Well that was moderately successful, I feel much more comfortable with the use of swords and polearms, and earned about 30 denar. Unfortunately my keep and food cost about 15 so…
Weaponsmith: you aren’t getting the bow?
I’m not getting the bow
Weaponsmith: then what are you doing in my shop?
Can I look at it again?
NO!
Well the other silver lining is that all of those hits to the head made me forget that beautiful work I read, so I don’t feel sore about that anymore.
Liudvika: Aye, That’s the spirit sir *slaps on the back*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSS that’s still sore though
Sorry, sir

Milusegit, so shall we go recruiting in the villages-we need a few more men?
Rumors are that a large band of mounted robbers are lurking outside the wall…
Well good thing we are in one of the poorest cities in Europe, I’ll just set up a recruitment drive here.
2011-04-30_00037-1.jpg

You have contacts here, sir?
Do you?
No
Well who needs them? With my cunning mind, despiration, and some blank pages from my Treatise book, im sure we can get around this.
flyer2.png

Tada! our force of counter-thieves will be ready in no time.
 
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Thanks,

any tips or critiques for me before i post part 2 tomorrow?

No, because I was sleeping. ;)

I might mention that with my forum settings the dark green letters are basically invisible.

And with this new post the conversations got slightly confusing, as in hard for me to keep up with who was doing the talking. Might just have been me though. The parts where the MC was just retelling his experiences were still top-notch. :)
 
Im still trying to work with the formula, but Kristof is actually saying these things out loud, with other people present

ill change the font color, and thanks :D
 
ill post the next update tonight or tomorrow

question to readers: i am currently using the real castles and the 1257 mod, but are there any other mods i should add that work with war band 1287?
 
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Chapter 3: Look at My Horse, My Horse is Amazing

Falling into Favor
The Adventures of Kristof Dabilovych

Chapter 3: Look at My Horse, My Horse is Amazing
Some no time later, 12 men came to me asking about filling the position for Nobleman’s grunt force. –What was that about nobody being able to read the flyers Liudvika? – Now with Times being what they are-impoverished literate elite and all - I wasn’t going to just give a job to everyone who asks for it. After all, if you don’t use leverage your just a plank, so I decided to select to only select five of them. That Gelt only gave me so much money, and what’s the good of having it if im not going to make a profit somehow?
Ludick: but my Lord, I need work, surely you aren’t going to leave us on the streets for greed?
But if I Hired you I would be as poor as you are, that’s equipment money I need for myself. Besides the jingling purse is the favored instrument of the nobleman. And I intend to play it
But sir, Elbing is struggling…how shall we earn our bread?
Highway banditry market seems pretty lucrative nowadays… Any case, Liudvika, inform the applicants that the position is filled, thank them for their time, and to leave their resume’ at the door.
You might hire us in the future, sir?
Depends on how quickly I go through the other ones, now stop dawdling AND STOP EVESDROPPING!

With a small band of counter bandits at the ready we embarked upon the most noble adventure fighting villains half our size, but that’s not gonna spoil it for me, this is my very first battle as Lord Dabilovych, and even if it is just a bunch of smelly peasants with stones, they have my banner, and that makes it an army.

This said however, being the only man noble enough for a horse, I would feel more towering amidst the battlefield if the mountains didn’t to it so much better.
Common Kleyeh, you can do it
*whinny*
Just a little bit farther to see the looters and GAWWWWWWWWWWWWW
2011-04-30_00022.jpg

GAWD! ITS SOOOO PWETTY!!!!!
Just look at how the mountain peaks just rise up in the mist, and the majestic trees spiking out of the mountains, how the peaceful mists and forests absorb the clacks and painful screams of battle echoing through the- Oh

Right, uh CHAARRGEEEE! Oh,
2011-04-30_00024.jpg

uh, good work men, God has granted us victory and all that, soo…now for the spoils of war
2011-04-30_00025.jpg

A hat? That was a little anticlimactic
Liudvika: to be fair so was you performance, in battle I mean.
*Men snigger*
Keep your ears shut Hans, or Ill tell papa billy goat where you’ve been pasturing their kid!

Well it is my first spoil of war…As a testament to my first victory, I shall forever wear *sniffs hat* -er, keep this hat, as a membrance and a keepsake.
Now we just need to interrogate these prisoners, to find their secret hideout- and they’re all dead aren’t they?
Oh wait this one is still breathing.

You!
Prisoner: Gwah?
Thou shalt inform your lord of the center of thy vile deeds, afore I smite thee with my most noble wrath.
Gwah?
WHERE’S YOUR BLOODY HIDEOUT tell me and I may show you the depths of my mercy.
Souf off Felbin*guh*
Where is Fell Binga? TELL ME YOU CUR!
Hans: Milord, I believe I have seen this hideout before, it is just south of the city
Oh*looks at* prisoner, how dare you attempt to mislead me and my men to Fell Binga. Now I WILL show you the depths of my mercy

*throws him into the valley below*
AAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*splat*
LET IT BE KNOWN FROM THIS DAY FORTH THAT THIS VALLEY BE CHRISTENED “Clemens Kristophi!
Men: hear, hear!

With this established, and sign placed we set out to attack the hideout. With it being a secret operation of course all of my men practiced absolute silence, in order to better appreciate the melodious crunch that the leaves made against their feet. As we moved downhill through the forest and upon seeing the cabin I ordered them to pause until I gave the first strike as signal to atta-*twang*
2011-04-30_00027.jpg

Ok, fine you eager bandits ONWARD MEN!
After the Battle
Wow, that was quick good work men, wait there is one more. Ive got him boys *twang*
Merchant’s brother: ahhow
Ah-oh-um-Men there is still a bandit behind us-make haste and find him- don’t worry sir, we’re here to rescue you…
Now this raid was much more lucrative, and after I sold all of the clothes of the Robbers backs I made a sizable amount, sufficient to buy that bow and arrow –Yes that one in the corner, thank you.
Now the adventures begin….
 
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Falling Into Favor
The Adventures of Kristof Dabilovych


Chapter 4: Pass the Duchy on the Left hand Side

*groans*Did the adventure begin while I was out? What happened?
I mean I remember a peasant revolt, and striking an armed weaponsmith. What happened after that?
Liudvika: You were knocked out by one of the townswomen, sir.
Right, well im sure I was plenty valorous right up to that point, and if not, then will just omit this chapter from my path to glory. In any case, we have ambitions to fufill and kings to replace. Now I may not be an expert on the path to glory –with my knowledge on questing derived from the manuscripts I read as a boy, and the manuscripts burned by real knights as a student. And with continent declaring the opening season for festivities, i must set out on my own quest.
wars-1.jpg

But if there is one thing I have learned its that the path to valor needs to help the help the people above, and wreck the people below. And with the closest Lord within the city of Elbing itself – I swore to begin my path to follow whatever errand he may need of me
A promise I would most certainly carry through, should they be in their castle.
2011-04-30_00028-1.jpg

In their castle
In their castle
Their castle…

Ok, so Elbing’s lord is absentee, so with this knowledge in place I travel to the great Teutonic City of Thorn, in order to offer my services to the-empty chair?
2011-05-01_00004.jpg

Where have all of the Teutonic Knights go? – and why would they let me enter an empty throne room?
2011-05-01_00006-1-1.jpg

That’s more relevant than the rumors of Iberian battles war I saw, but no explanation as to why the entire monastic government was absentee, and thus any chances on receiving quests of glory. So while the Teutonic order cheered the Danes on in their conflict I ventured to the Kingdom of Poland, in hopes to find valor, honor, fame, and more importantly.

Acquiring the funds to pay for my ever-expanding military. Unfortunately –as proud as I am of my burgeoning army, their improvement has increased the rate in which they drain my dwindling coffers. So many capable men, with low budgets mean some deserving Kyminas from my force would not be receiving promotions.
2011-05-01_00026-1-1.jpg

But of course, none of my soldiers will know of their competence till i have the money to acknowledge it.
Hans: What competence, sir?
Exactly, now march faster you serfs, we have to kiss some polish ass!
 
i apologize in advance for my absence, i will re post next weekend after my finals are done

thanks