• Hearts of Iron IV Survey

    Help us make HoI IV better by sharing your experiences in this 5 minute survey


  • Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

gja102

Captain
81 Badges
May 7, 2008
447
152
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Age of Wonders III
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Shadowrun: Dragonfall
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • War of the Roses
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Magicka: Wizard Wars Founder Wizard
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Shadowrun Returns
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
  • Crusader Kings Complete
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • BATTLETECH
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Age of Wonders: Planetfall Sign Up
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Imperator: Rome Sign Up
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Shadowrun: Hong Kong
  • The Kings Crusade
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
  • Cities in Motion 2
  • Lead and Gold
My aar will follow the fortunes of the kingdom of England, whichever dynasty happens to control it (hopefully it won’t be pagans, because then I’ll have to mod it).
DISCLAIMER: I have shamelessly stolen the title, style and a fair few of the jokes from the book 1066 and all that, which means it will be written in a kind of surreal textbook-history manner. So if you find anything funny, it’s probably unoriginal. On the plus side, the aar will at least be fairly short.
DISCLAIMER #2: I seem to have made a lot of jokes about France; please don’t be offended as I have nothing against France. France is great. I’m merely parodying the traditional, impulsive, irrational Anglo-Saxon distrust of anything Gallic. Honestly.

William I: a Conquering King

The Norman Invasion
In 1066 England fell quite completely to the Normans, a pragmatic and warlike folk who had previously descended from Scandinavia, and thus resided in northern France and southern Italy. The Normans were compelled to conquer England by their fervent desire to avoid becoming Frenchmen (a cause to which the Pope himself had given his blessing), and therefore easily triumphed over the one-eyed English king, Harold.

The Futile System
Upon being made king in the south, the Norman leader William made some very conquering laws to deal with his conquered subjects. He immediately introduced his futile system, whereby all the land belonged to the Norman barons, and all the barons belonged to him. He then very cleverly decreed that this was ‘Traditional Custom’, and that things had been like this all along. If anyone complained, he pointed out that the numbering of English kings started with him, and therefore any previous Saxon rules were by definition illegitimate, and probably imaginary. In this way, he was able to brush aside the fact that he had slaughtered five-sixths of the old Saxon nobility, and so despite having usurped 24 different titles, he was able to maintain an ‘honourable reputation’ abroad. Thus he became known as William the Conqueror (or, in the Saxon translation, William the Bastard).

Leo Fricson and The Saxon Revolt
Initially his system was a success, and William was able to spend his time planting new forests, dukes, etc. Inevitably, though, the remaining natives became restless at this state of affairs, and the whole of the north of the country rose upwards in civil war, under Leo Fricson, the memorable Saxon rebel. The rebels were assisted by various brands of zealous, rebellion-preaching firebrand, and by the Norman turncoat William Fitz Osbern de Breteuil, who trecherously lent the use of his many names to the Saxon cause. Matters were further complicated when several of the King’s regiments decided that, by the terms of the new traditional custom law, there could be no Saxons to fight as they had never existed in the first place, and accordingly went home. However, the rebellion ultimately failed, because of course their being conquered by King William the Conquerer was somewhat inevitable in the end. The defeated Saxons were exiled to the furthest reaches of Scandinavia (and, due to an administrative oversight, Derby). Meanwhile, the infamous Osborn FitzWilliam de Breteuil was given the harshest possible punishment under Norman custom, and was sentenced to France.

firebrand.png

fig 1: wave of nothern firebrands

custom.png

fig 2: norman footsoldiers find a legal loophole

rebel.png

fig 3: sentenced to france

Demise of William I
Immediately after these victories, William held a victory hunting party in one of his newly created forests with one of his newly created dukes. During this trip he was attacked by a vicious bore and left only half-alive. Thus his enemies had the last laugh.

wound.png

fig 4: the conquerer's painful, drawn-out, mildy ironic death
 

unmerged(9167)

Imperator Universalis
May 4, 2002
1.339
0
Visit site
:rofl:

I will keep my eyes on this story!
 

kadvael56

Major
80 Badges
Apr 18, 2008
528
0
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Hearts of Iron III Collection
  • Heir to the Throne
  • King Arthur II
  • Magicka
  • Cities in Motion
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Semper Fi
  • Sengoku
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Majesty 2 Collection
  • Knights of Honor
  • Warlock 2: The Exiled
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Colonel
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • For the Motherland
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • For The Glory
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Field Marshal
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Sword of the Stars II
gja102 said:
Meanwhile, the infamous Osborn FitzWilliam de Breteuil was given the harshest possible punishment under Norman custom, and was sentenced to France.
At least he will be able to cure his sorrow with wine :D.
 

unmerged(81763)

Sergeant
4 Badges
Aug 6, 2007
77
0
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
Meanwhile, the infamous Osborn FitzWilliam de Breteuil was given the harshest possible punishment under Norman custom, and was sentenced to France.

NOOOO!

They'll make him eat frogs...:eek:

Amusing read!
 

unmerged(104889)

Captain
16 Badges
Jun 19, 2008
452
0
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2 A House Divided Beta
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Pillars of Eternity
I was about to say that William the conqueror was also known as William the bastard, but then I noticed that you had added this little but important fact :). Anyways, you got another reader on board.
 

gja102

Captain
81 Badges
May 7, 2008
447
152
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Age of Wonders III
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Shadowrun: Dragonfall
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • War of the Roses
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Magicka: Wizard Wars Founder Wizard
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Shadowrun Returns
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
  • Crusader Kings Complete
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • BATTLETECH
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Age of Wonders: Planetfall Sign Up
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Imperator: Rome Sign Up
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Shadowrun: Hong Kong
  • The Kings Crusade
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
  • Cities in Motion 2
  • Lead and Gold
thanks for the positive feedback!

i was a bit worried that a satirical approach wouldn't work in an alternate history... events in crusader kings end up crazy enough, without trying to add extra layers of confusion...

anyway, chapter 2 should be ready in a few days, featuring, amongst other things, a psychotic marine mammal. naturally.
 

Olaus Petrus

Field Marshal
89 Badges
Nov 20, 2004
6.916
797
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV Sign-up
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis 4: Emperor
  • Divine Wind
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Diplomacy
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
It is most pleasing to see that the king William kept the good traditions of English realm.
 

Murmurandus

Crusader for Fun and Profit
84 Badges
Apr 12, 2002
5.876
1
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Naval War: Arctic Circle
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Victoria 2
  • 200k Club
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • March of the Eagles
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Age of Wonders: Planetfall - Revelations
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Cities in Motion
  • Divine Wind
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Hearts of Iron III: Their Finest Hour
  • Heir to the Throne
Satire just suits fine, dear Sir... Keep up the good work...:D
 

Eöl

First Lieutenant
37 Badges
Mar 22, 2008
277
12
  • Hearts of Iron Anthology
  • Knights of Pen and Paper 2
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Victoria: Revolutions
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • A Game of Dwarves
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Death or Dishonor
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Together for Victory
  • Tyranny: Archon Edition
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Expansion Pass
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Stellaris
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • 500k Club
  • Victoria 2
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
So are you going to try and keep things historically and satirically accurate as possible or go for a WC*?

*No not, Women’s Constitutional the other kind of WC.
 

Olaus Petrus

Field Marshal
89 Badges
Nov 20, 2004
6.916
797
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV Sign-up
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis 4: Emperor
  • Divine Wind
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Diplomacy
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
So are you going to try and keep things historically and satirically accurate as possible or go for a WC*?

*No not, Women’s Constitutional the other kind of WC.

Water Closet?
 

unmerged(96639)

bezrodniy kosmopolit
9 Badges
Apr 10, 2008
511
1
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness

gja102

Captain
81 Badges
May 7, 2008
447
152
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Stellaris: Humanoids Species Pack
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris - Path to Destruction bundle
  • Age of Wonders III
  • Cities: Skylines - Green Cities
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit
  • Crusader Kings II: Reapers Due
  • Shadowrun: Dragonfall
  • Crusader Kings II: Jade Dragon
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Fury
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Cities: Skylines - After Dark
  • War of the Roses
  • 500k Club
  • Cities: Skylines
  • Magicka: Wizard Wars Founder Wizard
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Shadowrun Returns
  • Stellaris: Digital Anniversary Edition
  • Crusader Kings Complete
  • Stellaris: Ancient Relics
  • BATTLETECH
  • Stellaris: Distant Stars
  • Stellaris: Apocalypse
  • Crusader Kings II: Monks and Mystics
  • Stellaris: Megacorp
  • Age of Wonders: Planetfall Sign Up
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Cities: Skylines - Parklife Pre-Order
  • Stellaris: Leviathans Story Pack
  • Imperator: Rome Sign Up
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Shadowrun: Hong Kong
  • The Kings Crusade
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
  • Cities in Motion 2
  • Lead and Gold
Chapter II - Robert I: A Hateful King (Part I)

King Robert was an angry, cruel man, who was known for hating everybody and everything, regardless.

Unpopularity of King Robert
His temper was such that it often overwhelmed his ability to talk; the resultant stuttering rages could last for days. He hated his wife, whom he suspected of turning his advisors against him (he was mistaken, they were already against him), and he hated his children, sending them all away to be raised by a strange, bearded schizophrenic (who had been driven mad by the confusion of ruling a place called ‘Eu’). For the first two years of his reign, Robert was even rebellious against himself.

bearded.png

fig 5: Pleasingly named, but a poor choice of foster parent

problemscopy.jpg

fig 6: Satisactory childcare was the least of the king's problems

Continued Unpopularity of King Robert
Robert further upset the Norman barons by scandalously allying with the King of France, and marrying his eldest son to a French princess. Robert dealt with the main rebel, Henry de Beaumont, by massacaring his eldest son on the battlefield. Next, Robert dealt with an upstart Welsh lord, Cadwagon, by massacaring his eldest son on the battlefield. These child-murdering polices proved unpopular, and soon Robert faced rebellion by an alliance of ‘ford’ dukes: Hereford, Oxford, Bedford, Derbyford, etc. The last remaining Saxons joined up with the last remaining de Beaumonts, and a full scale civil war ensued.

The Barons’ Revolt and the Dolphin of Atholl
As well as being a bad man and a bad king, Robert was also a coward, and thoroughly inept at military matters. As crown prince of Normandy, he had spent the duration of the Saxon revolt marching his regiment in aimless circles around the rebellious territory of Evreux, unsuccessfully hoping to dizzy the enemy into submission. Fortunately for him, he was now able to call upon the services of his one loyal servant: the Dolphin of Atholl. The Dolphin was of course from Berwick (hence the name), but had been exiled to England by the Scots king. Robert duly gave him control of the army, and the Dolphin was soon savagely laying waste to large parts of England, burning down buildings in the manner of a Viking. Thus the civil war was eventually brought to an end, and the dukes of England brought back into line, though Northumberland remained independent, unwilling to forgive the infamous cruelty of the Dolphin.

dizzy.png

fig 7: Robert's unusual, non-combatitive military strategy

dolphincopy.jpg

fig 8: The Dolphin strikes fear into enemies of the king

Continued Unpopularity of King Robert (Continued)
Later in his rule, Robert abandoned the subtleties of child-killing and took to directly murdering his excessively rebellious vassals, and was caught assassinating the unfriendly Duke of Norfolk. The Duke of Canterbury saw this and, despite being a prodigal mastermind, decided that it would be a good idea to complain about the king’s behaviour. Thus Canterbury’s lands were overrun and his titles seized by Robert (who showed remarkable leniency in not murdering him). Having completely run out of friends to give land to, Robert decided to create England’s first Archbishop of Canterbury. The Bishop proved to be Robert’s only loyal vassal; his loyalty can be explained in the following ways:
a) he was the younger brother of the Dolphin
b) he was blind, and so unable to see what Robert was up to
Nevertheless, finding someone who was actually prepared to support him was somewhat of a landmark event in Robert's reign.

ralph.png

fig 9: Robert overtakes intestinal worms as a leading cause of death
 
Last edited:

unmerged(104889)

Captain
16 Badges
Jun 19, 2008
452
0
  • Cities in Motion
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Divine Wind
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Rome Gold
  • Semper Fi
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2 A House Divided Beta
  • Mount & Blade: Warband
  • Pillars of Eternity
Well, not very good times for Robert. I wonder how he can live with all those delusions he has without totally loosing his mind? :)
 

unmerged(90994)

Second Lieutenant
Jan 14, 2008
194
0
I have a feeling the intestinal worms would be better companions. And better kings. :p
 

Olaus Petrus

Field Marshal
89 Badges
Nov 20, 2004
6.916
797
  • Europa Universalis: Rome Collectors Edition
  • Sengoku
  • Sword of the Stars
  • Teleglitch: Die More Edition
  • Victoria 2
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
  • Rome: Vae Victis
  • 500k Club
  • Crusader Kings II: Holy Knight (pre-order)
  • Europa Universalis III: Collection
  • Europa Universalis IV: El Dorado
  • Europa Universalis IV: Pre-order
  • Europa Universalis: Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: Way of Life
  • Europa Universalis IV: Common Sense
  • Crusader Kings II: Horse Lords
  • Europa Universalis IV: Cossacks
  • Crusader Kings II: Conclave
  • Europa Universalis IV: Mare Nostrum
  • Stellaris
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Stellaris: Galaxy Edition
  • Hearts of Iron IV Sign-up
  • Hearts of Iron IV: Cadet
  • Europa Universalis 4: Emperor
  • Divine Wind
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne
  • Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
  • Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods
  • Crusader Kings II: Rajas of India
  • Crusader Kings II: The Republic
  • Crusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham
  • Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
  • Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
  • Deus Vult
  • Diplomacy
  • Europa Universalis III
  • Hearts of Iron II: Armageddon
  • Europa Universalis IV
  • Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
  • Europa Universalis IV: Conquest of Paradise
  • Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
  • Europa Universalis IV: Call to arms event
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • March of the Eagles
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
Curthose of this AAR is about as competent military leader and ruler as he was in the RL. :D

But this made me almost fall from my chair:
Robert decided to create England’s first Archbishop of Canterbury

So, the English Church is Curthose's creation, that certainly explains some of it's oddities. ;)
 

unmerged(96639)

bezrodniy kosmopolit
9 Badges
Apr 10, 2008
511
1
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Deus Vult
  • Europa Universalis III Complete
  • For the Motherland
  • Hearts of Iron III
  • Heir to the Throne
  • Semper Fi
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Victoria 2: Heart of Darkness
Yes, probably why the Anglican Church's main tenets are: "Drink tea with old ladies" and "Murder the firstborn sons of our enemies". :p

Robbie probably won't win many "Most Popular Monarch" contests, but I'm sure history will judge him well. Largely because he probably had all the dissenting historians disemboweled.