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links74

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Oct 2, 2014
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It's the year 1444. I sit upon a throne of glass, surrounded by three other nations of similar size. I, however, have the advantage.

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I'm far more fabulously pink than they are. Those posers are all in such horrible drab arrays of mild red, browns, and even a turquoise. Hideous. The world must be prefect, for all should be the beautiful pink it was meant to be, no?

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First order of business; seduce the pope. No way I'm going to be able to take out all the other Christians without becoming the "lapdog" of the powerhouse of Theocracy. Step two, angrily stare at the little turquoise eye-stain as it stays allied with France. Step three, pick out which of my neighbors is the lesser threat.

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It's so blatantly obvious, the weakest one is definitely the one with the drabbest of all colors. The first to fall before our mighty tidal wave shall definitely be Switzerland. With them beneath our boot, we'll be able to move towards higher goals.

Oh look! It's Ludovico!

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Truly, a kinder man was never known. Our almighty duke shall bring us glory by showing us exactly how to win:
We yell at them angrily until they wet themselves with fear. His son keeps attempting to tell him that he should "actually develop the lesser provinces", but how could he possibly focus on this with the new looming Swiss threat that he had just decided needed to be dealt with? There were far more important matters at hand now, Amedeo.
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It took three seconds.
Three whole seconds and they already throw themselves at my feet.
I knew that we were beautiful, but apparently we are also awe inspiring.
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There was an empire that I never remember being informed about. In fact, my gasp of utter astonishment and surprise was so intense, that I almost forgot about the fact that those Turquoise Bastards had just insulted our glorious nation. No matter, they will be dealt with in time.
But I digress, there were better things in store.

For example, it's been long enough that the Swiss are now liable to be attacked at any moment.
Yes. Any moment.
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There we go. The war begins as per planned. I invade Bern, followed by cute little Monterat throwing their poor, defenseless body at Walstatte as a meat shield.
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Why would I care about the clergy right now Father Firerro, I am in the middle of conquering the lessers.
Sorry about that... Anyhow, war is going well, some heavy losses on both sides. I lost Montferat's three precious soldiers, and Switzerland lost their army.
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Alright so the siege is going well.
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As is evident, they've already lost most of their land. In effect, the war is over; but this is the first triumph. This is humiliation, or it's no victory at all.

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Now that's what I'm talking about, beautiful pink stripes. Looks like Neapolitan Ice Cream, delicious.
And now for the peace deal...


Oh, well that was unexpected.
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A wondrous new queen in honor of our new land acquisitions.
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A terrible fate has befallen our beauteous nation;

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He was already a terrible general, but now he's also turned from God. I'm not sure what to do with this heir, but I'm considering sending him of to Poland to live with the less civilized Christians. See how he likes sinning then, hm?


What? There's been a sudden resurgence in the olden ways of art? Oh my, what subject was responsible, I wish to have him paint for my palace.
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What the hell do you mean it was those dirty Boat Mormons to the south of us?
 
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He was already a terrible general, but now he's also turned from God. I'm not sure what to do with this heir, but I'm considering sending him of to Poland to live with the less civilized Christians. See how he likes sinning then, hm?
I would disinherit him, he seems to be good for nothing. Also nice you choose Savoy, a not so much taken nation for an AAR. I'm eager to discover how you'll do, and what are your goals?

Consider me subbed.
 
savoy was the first nation I ever world conquested with in patch 1.7

spread that pink!
 
A truly glorious shade of pink indeed.
 
Alright, it seems we need to adjust plans a bit. I was not anticipating those Ocean Dwellers to become the pinnacle of the art world.
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We need to keep the Emperor in check, otherwise he might try and break away from our alliance. A chess piece as big as he is? I'm not really willing to throw in my hand that quickly. Besides, he's currently split between us and the annoying yellow provinces. So, if we just prove that we're better, then he won't join in on their side in the war. Hopefully.

Let's check in on the other disappointment...
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Of course the French like this excommunicated failure of a Duke. Alright, so no interacting with them for a bit.
Followup, it seems that we've lost our Swiss rival. Hardly a surprise, considering we waltzed in, demolished them, and then laughed at their sad state of affairs. Perhaps we can go for a loftier target this time...
Oh, what's this?
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Too lofty. No attacking France, their blue is somewhat more acceptable than these other colors. It at least makes pretty lines as they conquer.
Alright, alright... wait. There they are. I nearly missed them.
Those blithering idiots that stole my cultural significance.
I think we've found who we're going to yell at next.
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An underhanded plot was exposed, showing that our merchants were actually not doing any trading at all. This saddens me, but the offenders were promptly executed and replaced with more competent workers. See? Now our economy is stable again:
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Wonderful. A whole nine hundredths of a ducat. Per month. Better than nothing, I suppose, but I'll probably need to revise some of this. Obviously the clerks aren't doing much to change it. I'll send out some lighter ships to protect trade, I suppose.
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Oh god, it's this guy.
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I'm so scared of you, oh almighty smaller country nearly three hundred kilometers from here. What, were you just going to skip right on through Milan? Sometimes I'm sure that these monarchs don't even think.
I'll just ignore it for now, it'll go away sooner or later.

Oh wait, more importantly, our Queen is turning out to be wonderfully resourceful actually.
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It may not have been intentional, but now our Vassal slides even more securely under our thumb. It's a good thi-
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Wait, my armies are harmed? It seems there was a Swiss rebellion, but it was crushed so quickly that I didn't even have time to be properly notified.
Alright, in that case, time to sit and tax the populous.
But in the meantime...
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How about a new Italian Vassal? I mean, it's just a more roundabout version of conquering... But less people yell at me for doing this so away we go!
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There seems to be a major problem. Our entire monarchy has been thrown into disarray; Our Queen has become a Cruel Mistress, our King is still a smooth talker but now he has a NEW son (Who isn't a sinner, praise the Lord) who was making connections while I wasn't paying attention?
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Giacomo, he sounds like a shifty man. Not only that, but he's not even a high-standing heir?! What, did we just grab the first person we found in the palace?
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The dark times are upon us all.
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The Kind Duke Ludovico has fallen after he decided to visit the still-recovering army. The country was not happy with this development, immediately raising up arms against our heir. I don't like this either, but rebellion is not allowed.
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Giacomo took to the armies much like his late father, fighting against Giacomo, his doppelganger from another family. It was a fight not to be taken lightly, as it did put a small dent in our coffers and manpower reserves. However, the rebels did fall. Running away like the children they are, they were swiftly felled by our useful pawn Monteferat. Good job, you little lime green pea you.
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Oh, the stars are shining on us tonight.
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The state is secured, and our claim to the throne is restored. This child is a gift from God. After nearly five straight years of aggression from the peasantry AND the court alike, we can finally have some peace. We must name this child accordingly. But what to name him...?
 
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Looks like a very nice Heir - should he stay alive.
 
so I gotta wonder @links74

you are new on this forum, and yet you start an AAR immediatly?

What made you start writing one?

I'll give a few tips: leave lines with "enter" key above and below an image before you write tekst, it makes it easier to read.

And, maybe make chapters in your AAR, and grouping the chapters and writing them along important stuff

Like, making a chapter on this war. Or that war.

Welcome to AARland!
 
Hopefully he stays alive indeed, if I had the opportunity I would abdicate as soon as possible to get rid of that awful king. And as atwix indicated, some more space between your screenshots and the text might be better for readability.
 
Noted, but Savoy is currently on a boat. This is his editor, and they will be taking this in to account for future reference. Also...

so I gotta wonder @links74

you are new on this forum, and yet you start an AAR immediatly?

What made you start writing one?

I'll give a few tips: leave lines with "enter" key above and below an image before you write tekst, it makes it easier to read.

And, maybe make chapters in your AAR, and grouping the chapters and writing them along important stuff

Like, making a chapter on this war. Or that war.

Welcome to AARland!

In response to this, he started it due to a dare posted in a Discord server, I believe. Also, he posited that he "Just likes writing". I hope this clears up any questions, and your suggestions on readability and accessibility will be assets well utilized in the future!
 
Nice work with Savoy so far. Looking forward to more!

And welcome to the world of AAR-ing too.
Cheers!
 
It has been my pleasure, @links74, to nominate you for this week's Weekly AAR Showcase! Congratulations, and keep up the good work.