The Good Boltons?
Chapter II - The War of Northern Stupidity (8284 - 8287 AL)
Last time on the Good Boltons, Roose’s beloved overlord Eddard Stark has declared independence from the Iron Throne and crowned himself King of the North! The Riverlands and the Twins, have also both declared separate independence wars from the Iron Throne. Clearly the AI has been smashed with a brick this game.
Whilst waiting for the Northern forces to gather, I have a quick peek at some canon characters down south. Young Renly is getting a good marital education under Stannis, Lyanna is in Rhaegar’s court while Jaime is still a knight of the Kingsguard.
Meanwhile blind Jon Arryn, has joined the Riverlands against the crown. THE EAGLES ARE COMING!
Nothing can go wrong with this plan...
Forces from the Reach, arrive in White Harbour while part of the Levies of the North are at Moat Catlin. Trust me Eddard, pulling a 300 strategy is a bad idea, the vast majority of the time outnumbering the enemy is how battles are won in the mod. IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT YOU ARE STATIONED AT THE BEST FORTRESS/CHOKEPOINT IN THE NORTH!!!
Yayyyy, I mean bow your heads in memory of the king.
Aerys has run down the curtain, joined the choir invisible and pushed up the daises, having died under suspicious circumstances. So Rhaegar’s now rules the Seven Kingdoms, hopefully much better then his fruitbat father.
May he not die as a infant.
At this point it is June 8285 and Roose get’s his wife pregnant once again, good on you Roose give me more alliances. The year passes with more Northern failure, but by late January 8286 Bethany has a son who is given the name Brandon.
Later that year Lyanna sires a bastard son from Rhaegar’s loins, christened Barthogan.
THIS IS THE NORTH!
Eddard’s first attempt to hold Moat Catlin fails with little surprise with nearly half of the army being slain.
(Lost Image)
The year carries on with further losses for the North the year 8287 arrives and Roose gets his wife pregnant again. (Gives Roose a pat on the back.)
Once more with failure!
If at first you don’t succeed don’t try again Eddard, yet he does try once again try holding Moat Catlin again and cement the loss of the war.
Jon Bolton is born shortly after this failure, getting the genetic trait huge.
The end of the year looms, with me having noticed that Stannis now rules the Stormlands, (since Rhaegar executed Robert.) The war being lost for the North, and the hopes for the AI ruling a free north dashed. Now we get to deal with the Riverlands and the Iron Isles who are close to being free. It never ends does it?
What to see more bad humor, an author trying to be funny and a canon that is turned on its head? Tune into the next chapter of the Good Boltons for more.
