VI
The wedding banquet had hundreds of courses, I ate many things I hadn't ever even seen before. It was a feast that would have made the ancient Romans proud. I was just happy to be sitting. After all the eating was over, the hall was emptied of all the tables, and the court danced until the midnight. I had to dance, even if my legs were swollen and hurting from all the standing.
Maria and I could barely see you, we were sitting somewhere far away, it was gracious of the empress to even let us attend. I danced with Maria all evening. We did see how exhausted you were, thankfully the empress allowed you to remove the heavy diadem. Kyría, how did it feel back then?
How did it feel? To be at the center of all that splendor? I was the focal point, everyone's eyes were on me. Everything I said, or didn't say, was examined carefully. My husband, the despot, sat next to me, laughing with his bad teeth visible, smelling bad and scratching his dirty hair. He wasn't my hero, He was what he was, I was never able to change him. I did get him to take a bath every now and then, but I couldn't end his insane expressions, talks, laughter or bad-temper. At my wedding I feared the coming night. One thing was required of me: get pregnant. Soon... now!
Finally, I was taken into the great bedroom. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to walk along the Sea wall, gaze at the Golden horn and the Genoese colony of Galatea. I could hear the ladies-in-waiting giggling and gossiping behind the walls of the bedroom. They were like a herd of chicken, pretending to do something, but really choking on curiosity. I opened the doors and looked at the ladies with a very serious face. The smiles on their lips died away and they gave me confused looks. "I must ask you to leave, I can go to bed without your help. Please, I do not require you any longer." It was my first order as a married woman. As Her Imperial Highness. They curtsied and quickly left the hallway.
The empress had ordered a certain Serbian woman as my "Great mistress of the court". She was a harsh woman, all the other ladies feared her like the plague. She was mean, sarcastic and domineering. And certainly not a beauty with her cold eyes. When the other ladies left, she stayed. We measured each other, I didn't lower my eyes. She curtsied, turned, and left. I went over to the windows and sighed. I knew that you were close by, you and Maria.
We were there Kyría, hiding behind the thick curtains, like always. Protecting you. We could always warn you if someone was coming.
I sat on the huge bed. Images of the mother of God surrounded the room. The bed was crowned with a laurel wreath, a reminder that everything that happens in the bed, happens for the benefit of Rome. I waited for my husband for two hours. Maria had climbed onto the bed and was brushing my hair whilst quietly reciting an Islamic prayer in Persian, she did it to soothe me, it was nothing serious. Finally someone came, and informed me that the despot was eating and drinking with his servants. He had apparently broken several bottles and was laughing like a demon. I looked at Maria, and she did something she had never done before. She embraced me and I leaned my head on her shoulder, I felt so close to her, like she was my elder sister.
-Maria, did he abandon me? I asked.
- He will come, sooner or later.
-What should I do?
-You won't have to do anything, despoina. He will.
-Oh God Maria...
-We shall not leave you alone on this night.
-Never leave me alone...
I feel rather bad. I didn't see anything positive about my husband. Not in his appearance, not in his nature, not in his soul, not in his upbringing, not in anything! I was deeply negative about him, I didn't even try to be pleasant to him. I could never seduce him, I hated him. And that's why my life has been so hard, and will be, as a punishment until my dying day.
He finally came during the small hours. He was drunk and smelled of alcohol. He threw himself into bed and I held my breath, ready to open my legs for him. But I didn't have to. My husband fell asleep and started to snore.
I rose from the bed and looked out of the windows. I had been abandoned on my wedding night. I was still a virgin. But on the other hand, I was deeply relieved.
Can you still go on? Shall I have tea or coffee brought?
No, ask for some wine instead.
Hah, I'll have a bottle brought to us. I could use a glass or two. But please Kyría, don't drink too much, even if your wedding memories have taken over your mind. Wouldn't it be time to let emperor Andreas II rest in peace?
Its not about the memories Nikolaos...
Authors note:
How do you feel about Nikolaos? I found Sophia's continuing monologue a bit dull, now she has someone who might question her from time to time.