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Oh she is thoroughly unreliable narrator - arguably the very best kind :) But still, young as she may have been, she knew what she needed to do to survive. There is a certain precociousness there.

I am getting bad vibes about this marriage though.
I guess arranged marriages rarely work.

Another good and interesting chapter:) I enjoy narrative AARs because I am a novelist in real life

I thank you! I hope I can keep delivering quality content.

This is an interesting story. I will admit to checking up on the Nicene Creed to make sure you'd omitted the Filioque correctly, but the story is quite intriguing.
I would never commit such a mistake. From the Father, not from the Son, never from the Son. :D

I just noticed that size 4 font is not the same thing as normal font size. How silly of me, I've fixed all the chapters.
 
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I think that the narrator (narratrix?) should describe herself as Sophia Palaiologina, because she's female. Great use of the Hagia Sophia mosaics, by the way. :)
 
Our narrator certainly seems to have mixed memories of this time. A symptom of her youth no doubt, and the wrenching changes she had seen in the year prior. The Empress seems to play her well, I am uncertain she feels much true sympathy for this half-Turkish girl she made Greek with a handwave. She will know a woman's outward position and her inward thoughts can run very differently I am sure.

But as an alternative to the Latins ... well, the Empress seems quite canny and I imagine she tries to achieve several objects with each action.
 
why can't Andreas simply do his duty and then go to relax with his boys? hehe
 
Chapter VI
VI

The wedding banquet had hundreds of courses, I ate many things I hadn't ever even seen before. It was a feast that would have made the ancient Romans proud. I was just happy to be sitting. After all the eating was over, the hall was emptied of all the tables, and the court danced until the midnight. I had to dance, even if my legs were swollen and hurting from all the standing.

Maria and I could barely see you, we were sitting somewhere far away, it was gracious of the empress to even let us attend. I danced with Maria all evening. We did see how exhausted you were, thankfully the empress allowed you to remove the heavy diadem. Kyría, how did it feel back then?

How did it feel? To be at the center of all that splendor? I was the focal point, everyone's eyes were on me. Everything I said, or didn't say, was examined carefully. My husband, the despot, sat next to me, laughing with his bad teeth visible, smelling bad and scratching his dirty hair. He wasn't my hero, He was what he was, I was never able to change him. I did get him to take a bath every now and then, but I couldn't end his insane expressions, talks, laughter or bad-temper. At my wedding I feared the coming night. One thing was required of me: get pregnant. Soon... now!

Finally, I was taken into the great bedroom. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to walk along the Sea wall, gaze at the Golden horn and the Genoese colony of Galatea. I could hear the ladies-in-waiting giggling and gossiping behind the walls of the bedroom. They were like a herd of chicken, pretending to do something, but really choking on curiosity. I opened the doors and looked at the ladies with a very serious face. The smiles on their lips died away and they gave me confused looks. "I must ask you to leave, I can go to bed without your help. Please, I do not require you any longer." It was my first order as a married woman. As Her Imperial Highness. They curtsied and quickly left the hallway.
The empress had ordered a certain Serbian woman as my "Great mistress of the court". She was a harsh woman, all the other ladies feared her like the plague. She was mean, sarcastic and domineering. And certainly not a beauty with her cold eyes. When the other ladies left, she stayed. We measured each other, I didn't lower my eyes. She curtsied, turned, and left. I went over to the windows and sighed. I knew that you were close by, you and Maria.

We were there Kyría, hiding behind the thick curtains, like always. Protecting you. We could always warn you if someone was coming.

I sat on the huge bed. Images of the mother of God surrounded the room. The bed was crowned with a laurel wreath, a reminder that everything that happens in the bed, happens for the benefit of Rome. I waited for my husband for two hours. Maria had climbed onto the bed and was brushing my hair whilst quietly reciting an Islamic prayer in Persian, she did it to soothe me, it was nothing serious. Finally someone came, and informed me that the despot was eating and drinking with his servants. He had apparently broken several bottles and was laughing like a demon. I looked at Maria, and she did something she had never done before. She embraced me and I leaned my head on her shoulder, I felt so close to her, like she was my elder sister.

-Maria, did he abandon me? I asked.
- He will come, sooner or later.
-What should I do?
-You won't have to do anything, despoina. He will.
-Oh God Maria...
-We shall not leave you alone on this night.
-Never leave me alone...

I feel rather bad. I didn't see anything positive about my husband. Not in his appearance, not in his nature, not in his soul, not in his upbringing, not in anything! I was deeply negative about him, I didn't even try to be pleasant to him. I could never seduce him, I hated him. And that's why my life has been so hard, and will be, as a punishment until my dying day.

He finally came during the small hours. He was drunk and smelled of alcohol. He threw himself into bed and I held my breath, ready to open my legs for him. But I didn't have to. My husband fell asleep and started to snore.
I rose from the bed and looked out of the windows. I had been abandoned on my wedding night. I was still a virgin. But on the other hand, I was deeply relieved.

Can you still go on? Shall I have tea or coffee brought?

No, ask for some wine instead.

Hah, I'll have a bottle brought to us. I could use a glass or two. But please Kyría, don't drink too much, even if your wedding memories have taken over your mind. Wouldn't it be time to let emperor Andreas II rest in peace?

Its not about the memories Nikolaos...

Authors note:
How do you feel about Nikolaos? I found Sophia's continuing monologue a bit dull, now she has someone who might question her from time to time.
 
I think that the narrator (narratrix?) should describe herself as Sophia Palaiologina, because she's female. Great use of the Hagia Sophia mosaics, by the way. :)

Fixed! So I can count on you to point out my mistakes. :D Truth to be told I was very tired when I did the translation.

Our narrator certainly seems to have mixed memories of this time. A symptom of her youth no doubt, and the wrenching changes she had seen in the year prior. The Empress seems to play her well, I am uncertain she feels much true sympathy for this half-Turkish girl she made Greek with a handwave. She will know a woman's outward position and her inward thoughts can run very differently I am sure.

But as an alternative to the Latins ... well, the Empress seems quite canny and I imagine she tries to achieve several objects with each action.

The empress is an interesting figure. She imprisoned this girl into the palace, when she herself went trough similar imprisonment under Manuel III. From a historical perspective she was a glorious ruler, recovering many areas to the empire, but privately she was a very difficult person.

why can't Andreas simply do his duty and then go to relax with his boys? hehe

You might have mistaken him for his brother Constantine. Andreas is quite simply a man child. (Though he's only sixteen years old at this time.) A bit later we shall speak more of Constantine and his...queerness.
 
Fixed! So I can count on you to point out my mistakes. :D Truth to be told I was very tired when I did the translation.

You've now got "Palaiogina". You might want to fix the typo you've added in. (Proofreading one's own text is hard; I know from painful experience!)

As for Nikolaos, I thought the italicised text was from Maria, as it wasn't immediately apparent, but it certainly breaks up the narrative.

Obviously, Sophia is the prize at her own wedding and thus the utmost care would be taken about her appearance, but why wasn't Andreas ordered to clean up for his own wedding? Bad teeth of course would be an occupational hazard, but apparently he hadn't even bathed prior to the event.

I was thinking that you might wish to consider using the term sebastos/sebaste, which means "venerable one" (the Greek equivalent of augustus), as the Komnenid dynasty used that as a form of address for imperial nobles, but it seems that it suffered significant deflation in status over the decades to come and came to refer to minor officials. Of course, since the title had originally been revived just prior to the Komnenoi taking power, there's nothing stopping your mighty empress from reviving the title once more, if you felt so inclined. :)
 
You've now got "Palaiogina". You might want to fix the typo you've added in. (Proofreading one's own text is hard; I know from painful experience!)

God damn it! Writing in one's own language is so much easier. :oops:

As for Nikolaos, I thought the italicised text was from Maria, as it wasn't immediately apparent, but it certainly breaks up the narrative.

Hm... Will have to think about how to present the discussions between the two. It will always be Sophia and Nikolaos speaking.

Obviously, Sophia is the prize at her own wedding and thus the utmost care would be taken about her appearance, but why wasn't Andreas ordered to clean up for his own wedding? Bad teeth of course would be an occupational hazard, but apparently he hadn't even bathed prior to the event.

You now forget that it's her own experience of the events. I kind of imagine her as a sort of early defender of personal hygiene, though the level of hygiene was certainly much better in Rome than it was in Latin Europe. But people did bathe much less often than we do these days. And when you are used to being clean, you certainly will smell if someone isn't. :D Notice how she always mentions how dirty he is. :rolleyes:

I was thinking that you might wish to consider using the term sebastos/sebaste, which means "venerable one" (the Greek equivalent of augustus), as the Komnenid dynasty used that as a form of address for imperial nobles, but it seems that it suffered significant deflation in status over the decades to come and came to refer to minor officials. Of course, since the title had originally been revived just prior to the Komnenoi taking power, there's nothing stopping your mighty empress from reviving the title once more, if you felt so inclined. :)

I kind of just went on with the late Palaiologos habit of naming their heir as Despot of Morea, and thought that if the crusading states never existed, then why not use the despot of Epirus for the second (adopted) son. I kind of want to refrain from restoring everything about old new Rome (?) and come up with new future traditions.

Thank you for your insights!
 
I think our narrator's mixed feeling as to the conclusion of her wedding night almost perfectly encapsulate the messy reality of what is going on here. On the one hand relief, on the other almost insult and neglect. And to be so young as well.

As to Nikoloas, well, to be honest I wasn't at all bored by our narrator's monologue. I found it flowed very nicely and has sold me very well. I have very much been able to "buy in" to her character, both the one doing the narrating and the one portrayed.

That aside I haven't really formed an opinion on him as yet. As to the device, the one danger I think to be aware of is interrupting the flow of an important passage.
 
It was for sure a very realistic chapter - it was surely a scene not so rare for arranged marriages. But surely it didn't play well for the bride.

Still, she would realize soon a pregnancy could be her lifeline and her golden chance. If she got a male and would even born in the Purple room... well soon or later the empire would be hers if three-four people would die before time.

The issue is how she would swallow the proverbial pill...
 
Some very good chapters here since my last visit. :)
 
Chapter VII
VII

Ordinary, dull, marriage life began after the grand wedding. We moved to the palace of the Porphyrogenitus, the official residence of crown prince Constantine and his lonely wife, and now it was also our home. Our rooms were just renovated and were situated on the left side of the palace with windows towards the many monasteries of the city. My rooms were a bit further away from my husbands, than in the palace of Blachernae, which was good.

Another good thing was, that the empress now considered me a Roman, thus I was able to finally walk around without guards, as long as I stayed within the palace grounds. In front of my windows was, and still is, a rose garden. Oh, how I loved those roses!

The strictest rule of our marriage life was that we had to spend all our nights in the same bed. Andreas always came. If he would have passed out, or otherwise forgotten to share bed with me, he would have been forced to go before empress Helene and apologize. Or Megas Doux Argyros would have reminded him of his "duty". Everyone was aware of our nightly activities. It was the same for the crown prince and his wife. The empress demanded a child, it didn't matter which princely couple made it.

Her Majesty again turned hostile towards us, and I think she was paranoid. She started transferring familiar courtiers to other places. No one was allowed to get close to us. My husband lost some of his Genoan courtiers and I was deathly afraid that Niko and Maria would be exiled. All of my even remotely pleasant ladies-in-waiting were taken away. And then... Nikolaos and Maria were ordered to leave. It was a banishment, they said it was not negotiable. I felt empty.

But after hearing about the empresses plan, I decided to make my own. I targeted my "great mistress". That petty Serb divulged my every cough to the empress. I decided to stop eating. I only took small bites or nothing at all. Despot Andreas asked if I was alright. I told him that I mourn, because I haven't seen my family in years. Not even my brother, who was in the same city. And the only close friends I have would be exiled.

I told him that I would never leave my rooms, that I would only drink water, I would simply wither away and die. It was all an act. My husband became worried. He complained to everyone that his wife was dying. The empress soon heard about my condition, as planned. She came to see me. I tried to look as unwell as possible, Maria even painted my face, so I would look sickly. I told the empress how my grief was killing me. My family was gone forever and now my trusted servants were going to leave me. I begged her to allow them to stay. I wept and coughed. I had lost all joy, and hadn't eaten in a week. (I lied.) The empress waggled her skirt, looked at me and said; "keep them". But she ordered me to get pregnant. Then she sailed away.

I started to eat. I became healthier and smiled again. I smiled every time I saw Nikolaos and Maria. We had won this round. But what happened next could have been fatal, for both Andreas and me.
 
I think our narrator's mixed feeling as to the conclusion of her wedding night almost perfectly encapsulate the messy reality of what is going on here. On the one hand relief, on the other almost insult and neglect. And to be so young as well.

As to Nikoloas, well, to be honest I wasn't at all bored by our narrator's monologue. I found it flowed very nicely and has sold me very well. I have very much been able to "buy in" to her character, both the one doing the narrating and the one portrayed.

That aside I haven't really formed an opinion on him as yet. As to the device, the one danger I think to be aware of is interrupting the flow of an important passage.

Okay then. It was just an experiment anyway. I'll continue like before.

It was for sure a very realistic chapter - it was surely a scene not so rare for arranged marriages. But surely it didn't play well for the bride.

Still, she would realize soon a pregnancy could be her lifeline and her golden chance. If she got a male and would even born in the Purple room... well soon or later the empire would be hers if three-four people would die before time.

The issue is how she would swallow the proverbial pill...
Welcome aboard! And yes, pregnancy might save her...or not. One must not underestimate the empress of the Romans.

Some very good chapters here since my last visit. :)
Glad to still have you. :D

The chapter was a bit shorter this time around. Hopefully I'll have time to write more tomorrow.
 
Chapter VII
VIII

Earthquake, as we called the event, happened during a period of fasting. It wasn't an underground earthquake, but happened on top of it, in Thessaloniki. It didn't happen because of earth's tectonic movements, but because of an uncontrolled rage of a woman.

Fasting periods were always dull. Trips to churches, trips to convents. Religious events, pious life and praying. No dancing, no feasting. Even meals were regulated. I didn't eat meat, and the empress, miraculously, expressed her contentment. Then the disaster happened. A disaster, that despot Andreas caused with his own stupidity.

We were in Thessaloniki when it happened. The empress wanted to pay a visit to the religious sites in the area. My husband, the despot, was idle and played his childish games that often didn't make any sense. He found a drill, and used it to cut holes through doors. At the palace complex in Thessaloniki, constructed by emperor Manuel III, he discovered a secret door behind a curtain in his own apartments. Naturally, he wanted to know what it was for and bored a hole in it. Behind the door was the private dining room of Empress Helene. It was the last room of the imperial rooms in the palace, and behind it was the first room of my husbands apartment.
After the hole was big enough, my husband looked through, and what did he see? He saw empress Helene, having dinner with her favourite, Megas Doux Petros Argyros. The Megas Doux was wearing a loose coat, the empress wore a white nightgown so thin one could almost see through it.

The Despot came up with a wonderful idea: He was going to show the hole to his friends. The court was a place filled with curious souls. I was shocked when I saw my "great mistress of the court" peeking through the hole. I watched her and the despot laughing, as silently as possible. I was guilty of many pranks and tricks, but not this. The idea of spying someone through a hole was disgusting. When he had told me of his discovery, I yelled at him. I told him to cover it up immediately and I forbid him of telling anyone about it. He laughed at me and returned to his apartments, inviting his friends to come and take a peek.

I knew exactly what would happen...

The following evening the empress arrived on a surprise visit. As I curtsied deeply I saw from her eyes that Hell was about to break loose. The despot arrived, singing merrily in a cheerful mood. That's when it happened, an earthquake in Thessaloniki. The whole palace was shaking. The empresses outburst of rage was tremendous.
The shacking despot confessed immediately. "Yes, I drilled a hole. Yes, I asked my friends to take a peek. Yes, I saw the Megas Doux sitting there... I'm sorry, I also saw Your Majesty. I deeply apologize."

SILENCE! KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! The empress yelled. Her face had turned red and was twisted by hate. She announced that she'd grown tired of the despots games. She stopped to take a breath, and said then, in an eerily silent voice, that his position as despot of Epirus was not something to be taken for granted. Andreas had gone too far, and might stand accused of violating majesty.
I burst into tears. The empress looked at me and said that I was not accused of anything. The ladies-in-waiting had heard me, when I had told my husband to cover up the hole. I curtsied and felt relieved. I couldn't stand him, the man who was my husband. The empress left and announced that the matter would be investigated, the despot would be punished, and she wouldn't tolerate his presence for quite some time. Despoina Sophia was not accused of anything, and would not be punished.

That idiot. To spy on the empress...

That evening that Serb, the "great mistress" spoke to my ladies, she told them that the empress was punishing her children, like any good mother would do. Her voice rose to new heights as she yelled and preached. She even mixed me into all of this. I listened her rambling for some time, then I got up and told her it was time to leave. She looked at me with her ice cold eyes. I said with a chilly voice that if she doesn't stop humiliating us, I will walk straight to the empress and tell her that I saw the honorable great mistress herself taking a peek through the hole and afterwards laughing to Her Majesty. She went pale and left, slamming the doors shut. My servants smiled at me. Afterwards, I refused to speak to her. Both me and my husband would ignore her and disobey her, whenever we could. To this day I can't remember her name, we always just called her "the Serb".
 
Andreas is truly a fool, and a sot, and even though we only have our narrator's view of him this seems too true a depiction to be complete fabrication. What I really like is how real the dislike for her husband leaks through her words.
 
Chapter IX
IX

Now I must talk about the 'first couple of the empire'. Like I have said, the princes Andreas and Constantine were born in Serbia, and spent their early lives in Belgrade. Constantine was 12 and Andreas 10 when the empress had them brought to Constantinople. Ripped from their homes, from their loved ones, just like me.

SvOIEt9.jpg

"Prince Constantine, now the despot of Morea, accepts his destiny before the Ecumenical patriarch."

Constantine proved himself an able man. He was handsome, astute and kind. Perhaps too kind. His younger brother Andreas was brought into Rome as the "spare heir", until Constantine would have children of his own. The two brothers had always been close, so close that Andreas was practically dependent on his elder brother.
Four years later Constantine married princess Melano Bagrationi and the couple was given the palace of the Porphyrogenitus. This shattered the fourteen year old Andreas, who had never been apart from his brother. The empresses domineering attitude towards the boys led to considerable friction between them and their adoptive mother. But whereas Constantine constantly adapted to the wishes of the empress, Andreas simply became depressed, and then disobedient. The older prince was paraded as a true Roman and a great future emperor. The younger prince was the laughing stock of the court.

Now I must tell you a story. When I first came to Constantinople, prince Constantine, like everyone else, was positively afraid of me, like I was some sort of devil. But curiosity won him over and he became one of my truest friends. He told me about his life as I told him about mine. One night, after we had returned to Constantinople from Thessaloniki, we shared a glass of wine after the first feast after fasting. (My husband did not attend, because of the earthquake.) That's when he told me about his "problem". He told me about an event in Belgrade, just before he and his brother were taken away. One day he wanted to ride, so he had gone to the stables to ready his horse. That's when he and the stable boy shared a kiss. It was the sweetest thing I've ever heard, just a quick kiss, nothing more. But that kiss defined the fate of an empire.

The despot of Morea had many favourites in the court. There was one servant in particular, Leon, who was a Greek from Peloponnesus, I think Leon was his truest love. Empress Helene naturally knew about all of this. "I don't care who you have in your bed, as long as the despoina gets pregnant." she had told him.
The marriage between the Georgian princess who desperately wanted to be an empress, and the crown prince desperate for Greek love, was a lie from the start. So we were all surprised to hear that despoina Melano was pregnant. Apparently the prince had taken her after the fasting ended with "Fierceness befitting the Dragon himself." That was hardly true, but someone had gotten her pregnant, as she certainly was no Holy Virgin.

The empress was overjoyed, and I felt the throne slip further away... But fate has a curious way of intervening when you least expect it.
 
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Andreas is truly a fool, and a sot, and even though we only have our narrator's view of him this seems too true a depiction to be complete fabrication. What I really like is how real the dislike for her husband leaks through her words.
Yeah, I kind of think that as she looks back towards the difficult times of her life, she needs to blame someone. Sometimes it's the empress, sometimes her husband. But she never blames herself.
 
Yeah, I kind of think that as she looks back towards the difficult times of her life, she needs to blame someone. Sometimes it's the empress, sometimes her husband. But she never blames herself.
Well to be fair to her, it is not like she had very much in the way of agency at that point. I mean, apart from potentially suiciding or putting herself in a position to get removed.

Now this is an interesting detail about the brothers. It does explain Andreas somewhat, even if it does not excuse him.
 
Chapter X
X

For the next few months the court lived in a permanent stage of excitement, it was like no one had given birth before the despoina. The ancient purple room in the great palace was in a sorry state, so the empress had ordered a new room to be built in the palace of Blachernae. She fussed about the child like she was the one delivering it. I couldn't stand it, any of it. I locked myself in my rooms in the palace of the Porphyrogenitus and avoided Blachernae as best as I could. My husband had become even more depressed after his "grounding", but had found a new hobby: He had gotten himself an army of toy soldiers, and would command his troops in bed. He was 19 years old when it began. A man, yet a child. We had entire regiments and legions in our bed. He would imitate the sounds of battle and shout commands, mostly in Ligurian or Serbian. He took these battles very seriously indeed. Rome always won, of course. I commanded his enemies, the Turks, the Persians, the Carthaginians, but the Latins were always on the Roman side. Occasionally he took a break, drunk an entire bottle of wine and then continued. He told me about the progression of the battles. "This hussar has been sent there to do reconnaissance, he comes quietly from behind the pillow. Turkish hordes are here, by the river bank, its the edge of the silk blanket here. You, Sophia, must organize the defenses there. No! Not those soldiers! They are the reserve. The other ones. Blam Blam! The artillery opens fire."

Nearly every night I was forced to be a pikeman, a squire, a drummer. But never a lover. I knew he thought of me as his playmate, because he never gave me a single kiss, never touched my hands. I was not a woman to him, not even a girl. He didn't understand women at all.

In the end Despot Andreas was not convicted of crime against majesty. The empress considered his crime to have been nothing but a childish game. But we were isolated like prisoners under strict surveillance. And that's when the empress delivered her next punch. The Serb was removed from our service, but in her place the empress appointed one Maria Tornikes, a relative from her father's side. She was empress Helene's trusted woman. We didn't call her Maria, not Kyría, we just coldly said "Tornikes" She had a pretty face, but a terrible personality. The Serb was a heart of gentleness compared to this woman. She was, in her own mind, the embodiment of all womanly virtues. She shouted with an awful voice. It hurts ones ears. What was the matter with people back then? Always with the shouting... Shout to the member of the Imperial family, shout to the despot, to the despoina. She spied on us. But Nikolaos and Maria spied on her, for me.

Finally the insufferable despoina Melano was going to give birth. We were all forced to gather near the purple room. She had paraded her belly in palace receptions, to annoy me, and further secure her position. The doctors told her she was going to have twins. The heir and the spare, all in one. But God had other plans. The labour was exceedingly difficult. The first baby came out stillborn, the other, a boy, only lived for a few hours, he died on the despoina's arms. Melano was devastated. She would never recover from her first and only pregnancy. The empress was disappointed, and afterwards behaved like the crown princess would have never existed.
I weep for her. I know what she went through. I weep for her now, but not then. Back then I was glad, it is terrible to admit, but it's true.

A few weeks later empress Helene came to visit me. One despoina had been unsuccessful, maybe the other one would deliver the heir she so desperately desired? I did not know what she had in store for me.