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CatAARstroph1c moderator
Apr 26, 2002
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The Central bAAR
Turning down a cramped alley, you see an oaken door in a quiet corner. The wood seems timeless and bears the stains of decades if not centuries of use. The door has a great brass knocker in the shape of an animal not seen in these parts in the life of any still living.

Entering through the door, you feel as if you are going through a portal that time forgot. The room is laid out with a central bAAR with a circular bAAR in the center. You see men and women in groups standing or sitting all around the room.

Descending into the pits of this subterranean lair, fighting aside great clouds of nicotine tinged smoke, ignoring the stares and glares from the resident patrons, you greet the bartender, complete with cigarette perched precariously from his lip.

"Welcome to the bAAR. Over to your far left is the Podium, where speakers can announce their latest works, or endorse others - but please, keep the mentioning of your own AARs to a minimum. You can also ask around in here for advice and new ideas" He scratches his chin reflectively, "everyone's welcome here. Absolutely everyone. Feel free to wade in and start a conversation.

“As for rules, well, we don’t have many, except to try to keep in persona when you are in here. What is that, you say, you came from different times so how do you keep in person? Well, we don’t hold much for time in these environs. I say, keep in style with the time you are discussing and we will get along just fine.”

“Teasing is allowed, but don’t let it get out of hand. See those six men over there. That is Myth, Qorten, CatKnight, Eber, Mr. Capiatlist and of course the old man, Stroph1

A right despicable collection of ruffians if ever there is one. If you get too out of line, one of those six may step in and I don’t like to clean up the mess they leave when they do!”

“So, ladies and gentlemen, what can I get you?” he finishes.

Note: this thread is a catch all for the following:

Announcing you own NEW AAR (but keep it to a minimum)
Endorsing others AARs
Teasing/taunting (but watch it)
Advice and ideas
Announcing events
Discussion of AAR related stuff not fitting any other existing thread

A few things are frowned on:

Quotes – if you look over at Stroph1 there with that big quote gun. You don’t want him to have to use it.

Updates – we are glad to have updates, but please don’t announce each one in these hallowed halls.

Fights – unlike American Westerns, fights are not tolerated in these halls.
 
Stroph is busy, of course, with the Dirty Rag (tm) on the countrertop at the old bar.

"Tell some of the newens about this here forum you mention. What kin' of tales be ye spinning?"

Wipe, wipe, wipe....
 
[Walks in, covered in a cloak and looking at every corner]

Hmmm... nice place you have down here, barman [coughs]. Full of Papal infiltrates, I'm sure, so I won't stay long... I'm looking for the emissaries of Dioclea. Have you seen some gnarled, squinting, very bad-tempered old man around here? He's easy to spot, usually people drop dead around him like flies...

No?

Well... I'll be back, then. If you see the old Duke, tell him I've got his new poison ready.

[Walks off into the smoke].
 
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"I'll have a babycham and a packet of pork scratchings please"

*munch, slurp, munch, slurp*

"Ahh. This is a bit embarrassing, but I seem to have forgotten my wallet. Could I offer you a recommendation to read Jape's excellent News from Nowwhere instead? A V2 AAR that keeps on getting better as the Confederacy continues to enjoy its independence. With a tough war over we are waiting for another of Jape's excellent election updates.

"Ahh you already knew about it. Do you offer credit?"

*visitor receives withering look and barman points to huge pile of washing up in kitchen*

"Oh....rats"
 
"Hah, you've been framed, my man!", says the ruffian they call Qorten.
"Don't need to be perfectly clean, them dishes, you know. Won't even get them perfectly clean for that matter. They've been used for ages, literally! Anyway, while you're doing the dishes, I here like to add that I'm itching to write another AAR, but I'll be waiting 'til mister gigau releases a version of MEIOU that works with EU3: DW."
 
A shortish man, pint of Smiddicks in hand, turns to Qorten and nods,
"It has been a while since I've been able to play a proper EUIII game. Gigau knows what he is doing and the maps are always marvelous. Of course I'll be doing an AAR based on that map soon enough... once I get the paper work sorted."

Turning to the bAAR tender,
"tuore is spinning quite the tale. Its mostly from a player's stand point, but it definitely has me considering putting away a couple bucks for March 29th."
 
A flagon of your best mead if you please, and easy on the froth. It gets in my warrior's mustache.

Do you have Cornish pasties? No?

A shame. I know what I like, and I tend to stick with my old favorites.

Speaking of which, I often enjoy munching on the souvlaki over at Rome AARisen. The meat is well-seasoned and the sauces are to die for. I hear the old man's got a new dish in the works as well, so I'd keep my eyes peeled if I were you.

Hey! I said easy on the froth. Can't an old Saxon get a good froth-less mead around here? Why when I was your age...
 
Bartender! Sorry to annoy you, wasn't around when the last bAAR closed, what drinks do you have round here? Food?
 
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"Alex, we just opened. Mead takes at least 100 days in barrel to be worth serving. Give us some time!" Mr. C returns his drink to its rightful place at his lips. "I thought someone as old as you would know that!"
 
A very regal looking WritAAR wanders in, crown lopsided on his head, cloak wrapped around his ankles from the rain. "King Richard, the Eleventh, Lord of Bar, Comrade Hochmeister and King of Munster. Any good works being composed of late? I myself am considering writing another AAR... not sure if I can find the time though. So how are you all?"
 
Och, Mr. C.! That's rightly daft. Any good bAAR'll have drinks that are already set! And next you'll be telling me your ales aren't yet fermented either.

I guess I'll head over to my old haunt, Piety of the North Star then. At least they've got some proper mead over there.
 
Random guess then. 1 G and T, with a load of chips with salt. i'm not feeling up to alcohol.
 
"Actually the ale is ready for kegging. Meads are bit harder, with the honey season and all."

Turning toward the Irish King with an English-sounding name Mr. C says, "I had an idea. Find an event in a game like CK or EUIII... one that is heavily character driven... and tell it from the point of view of a character that witnessed it. But here's the catch: do it in real time. Post only on days that are important to the plot and make us get a better feeling for how quickly things are happening!"
 
"Perhaps not in real time," murmured the man next to him. "Some of those events can take months and years to resolve."

CatKnight had lurked in the previous baar, perhaps the previous two. Age stole some of the color in his hair and replaced them with lines on his face since the day seven years ago when he first stepped off the boat at AARland's major port. Apparently he expected trouble, for he wore his mail shirt over a thick padded tunic and breeches along with leather braces on his arm. Oddly he shattered the image of a late medieval warrior with a flintlock pistol that he kept fiddling with as if trying to remember how to operate it.

"Like Qorten, I'm hoping to start writing again soon. Perhaps I'll take Mr. Capiatlist's idea myself." He reached for his drink, a pale translucent brown liquid in a weathered and smoky shotglass, and raised it in salute to the platypus banner over the door before downing it.

"Just not in real time," he smiled.
 
"You gaining a stutter with age?" Mr. C says, almost in a light whisper between ruffians, "If you don't do it in real time it is just a normal AAR, just with a more centralized scope. If something is well written and well timed it will be around for ages anyways." Mr. C nods toward a fellow surrounded by piles of Byzantine flags and maps frantically writing more and more pages. "Poor fellow started writing ages ago and has never stopped. They key would be well fleshed out updates that come infrequently but allow the reader to really get into the world. And I don't mean you put something up every hour. If something happens on day X, write an update for that whole day, or part of that day... then if something happens on day X+6, six days later you post what happened."
 
"What's the chaps name?", said the Welsh dude, in between bites. "I'm might read a bit of his work someday. The bit he's not writing, of course".
 
"He's a General in the army, only know his initials: BT. Our souvlaki munching friend, Alex, already posted a link to the masterpiece called 'Rome AARisen' from the CK forum."
 
Certaintly a masterpiece... any bets on finishing time?
 
King Richard stood in thought.
"I'd do it, Mr. C, but I've been planning another humorous composition, based in Novgorod. Filled with jokes about Soviet Russia, you know. What's your opinion on it?"
 
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