Work commences on a castle in Guria. I wanted to name it Castle Awesome, but my advisers distracted me with some cake and christened it Castle Bagrat, after my kind-of-awesome father. Oh well.
Looloo will be raised by monks. Tourettes, meanwhile, will get an education from God. Because, quite honestly, I am ashamed that someone as totally freaking awesome as I am can father children such as these. I also don't feel like putting up with their crap, Teimuraz is enough of a pain in my rear end as is.
At any rate, uh... wait,
WHAT?!?! Seriously, it's only been a week since my good-for-nothing nephew Nino came of age and was sent back to his father in Kakheti. ONE. FREAKING. WEEK. And he can't stop thinking about dry-humping Helene's skirt-tails. I kick him in the rump and tell him to get the crap out. SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!
ARRRRGH I'M SO ANGRY. SOOOoooo Ima vent my anger in the only logical way:
HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO. Time to claim my rights to Albania!
...
ANNNNYWAAAY, Albania falls to my army of awesomness swiftly.
Fishtabs, Emu of Derby Hat, the liege lord of Fail, Milksheik of Albania, wisely accepts a white peace proposal shortly thereafter. Flawless Victory!
Sumbody Idunno is appointed Bishop of Albania. I mean for this to fly right in the face of Fishtabs, as he watches his former vassal's people be converted. Even he cannot deny my awesomeness now!