Good dialogue coz1. Good update overall. Catches the atmosphere of the time very well I think.
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Well, there goes my observationInteresting parallel here - his old pals from the force think he's only one step above being a loser, and he thinks the reporter is only one step above being a loser. I wonder what sort of person Jasper thinks is almost a loser - a politician maybe, or perhaps his editor
. You forgot lawyers and insurance salesmen...Great atmosphere coz. The picture really helps set the mood.
I am really enjiying this. I've never actually read many stories of this style so my judgement is far from expert but I think you have really got the atmosphere and characters perfect.
"easy case"... you know, with such a down payment and the mentioning of a gem... One would think that he'd be cautious in assuming it's an easy case...
Excellent writing, though
Excellent writing, though
That one's too easy - the police look down on the detective who looks down on the reporter who looks down on... the police.
The first post was good but a trifle stiff, the second very good, the third impeccable. Beautiful use of language and patterns of speech. Information carefully conveyed and withheld, keeping the readers intrigued but puzzled...
(Opens fourth wall to audience). You and I talked about this on the phone the other day, and I am delighted you're going on with it. I understand now what you meant about using the same approach Nil-the-Frogg did, with cuts back and forth between eras. Looks like it is working well, and you've got the writing chops to make it work. One caution - don't let the fun you are having with the noir era tempt you to spend too much time there. The story is in the past...
Now I need to know why I care about these characters. (closes fourth wall).
Great stuff, coz. More!
The first post was good but a trifle stiff, the second very good, the third impeccable. Beautiful use of language and patterns of speech. Information carefully conveyed and withheld, keeping the readers intrigued but puzzled...
(Opens fourth wall to audience). You and I talked about this on the phone the other day, and I am delighted you're going on with it. I understand now what you meant about using the same approach Nil-the-Frogg did, with cuts back and forth between eras. Looks like it is working well, and you've got the writing chops to make it work. One caution - don't let the fun you are having with the noir era tempt you to spend too much time there. The story is in the past...
Now I need to know why I care about these characters. (closes fourth wall).
Great stuff, coz. More!
Noah West clearly went missing when his train was attacked by mysterious bandits in the Papal States.
Good dialogue. I'm looking forward to the treasure hunt Finch goes on now.
Good dialogue. I'm looking forward to the treasure hunt Finch goes on now.
Fb-fb:
Not giving anything away just yet. We'll have to wait and see what happened to Professor West. Thanks.
To all - I took a break from writing yesterday though I tinkered a little bit. I hoped to have an update today, but I have something to do this evening which may keep me from it. I'll try but no promises. If not today, then tomorrow certainly. Thanks for the great comments, folks! I really appreciate it.
Thanks, stnylan. There definitely is a lot of possibility going forward and I'm hoping I can take advantage of it.
Indeed - we'll keep following that. We'll see Miss Sullivan again at some point. Patience.Uhhh
More miss Sullivan soon
Of course it does. A couple of breaks aren't going to crack this case.Easy?
Sounds complicated to me.
Yeah, I thought of that after I wrote it. Hopefully it shows just how much none of these guys really trust the others.I think that last thought will come back and haunt him. In fact, I don't think it, I know it.
Interesting parallel here - his old pals from the force think he's only one step above being a loser, and he thinks the reporter is only one step above being a loser. I wonder what sort of person Jasper thinks is almost a loser - a politician maybe, or perhaps his editor
Well, he just took the case. He wants to get back to that, believe me. She didn't give him much of a chance either. Will she later? Wait and see.Very nice. I, too, await the return of the Miss Sullivan. Wait she's a Miss? If this was a hollywood movie, he'd done her already
I don't usually read murder mysteries but your work has me hooked!
Great! I appreciate that.
Excellent! Thank you.Great update! You have me hook, line and sinker! KUTGW!
Thanks! Indeed, Jasper might prove a problem...though he might prove a help. We aren't done throwing some roadblocks up for Sam.Although I'm not surprised Mr. Finch is excited about having an "easy" case, I do believe drafting Mr. White into his investigation will only bring more trouble than he's worth.
Excellent Writing, as usual, Mr. coz1!
Great. I really do like writing in this style. It's fun and easier than trying to get language right in earlier generations. Though there will be chance for that here too.
Yeah, I'm working to try and get some good shots to do that very thing so that the dialogue, pictures and description really create a mood.Well, there goes my observation
Great atmosphere coz. The picture really helps set the mood.
Thanks. Like I said, it's pretty fun. Hopefully I can keep it up.
You may have a point. I think he's perhaps just too focused on seeing Miss Sullivan again. He'll soon realize this is no easy case. And thanks."easy case"... you know, with such a down payment and the mentioning of a gem... One would think that he'd be cautious in assuming it's an easy case...
Excellent writing, though
That sounds about right, Director. This last post pretty much flowed out, dialogue, description and all. The first post was much harder to write. And no doubt I'll need to get back to the earlier stuff soon. I don't want to lose sight of that and hopefully I can weave both seemlessly.That one's too easy - the police look down on the detective who looks down on the reporter who looks down on... the police.
The first post was good but a trifle stiff, the second very good, the third impeccable. Beautiful use of language and patterns of speech. Information carefully conveyed and withheld, keeping the readers intrigued but puzzled...
(Opens fourth wall to audience). You and I talked about this on the phone the other day, and I am delighted you're going on with it. I understand now what you meant about using the same approach Nil-the-Frogg did, with cuts back and forth between eras. Looks like it is working well, and you've got the writing chops to make it work. One caution - don't let the fun you are having with the noir era tempt you to spend too much time there. The story is in the past...
Now I need to know why I care about these characters. (closes fourth wall).
Great stuff, coz. More!
That is a possiblity.
Not giving anything away just yet. We'll have to wait and see what happened to Professor West. Thanks.To all - I took a break from writing yesterday though I tinkered a little bit. I hoped to have an update today, but I have something to do this evening which may keep me from it. I'll try but no promises. If not today, then tomorrow certainly. Thanks for the great comments, folks! I really appreciate it.
Easy case? Yeah right
I bet my bottom dollar that this won't be easy. I can't wait to see where this story goes and how it goes back in time! And I am most interested in seeing Mrs. Sullivan too!
I bet my bottom dollar that this won't be easy. I can't wait to see where this story goes and how it goes back in time! And I am most interested in seeing Mrs. Sullivan too!
Is this actually based on a game? I sometimes wonder with certain AAR's. Definitely in EU3, where you have to make up a lot of things to get a real story. If it is based on a game, my guess is it's usually just the environment, the story itself has hardly anyhting to do with what happens in-game.
* * *
New York City, 1792
He opened his eyes with difficulty, having trouble adjusting to the light and the tightness with which his lids held one another. It was as if he wished to keep sleeping but knew that it was time. A shadow appeared, hovering over his face and he struggled to adjust his vision to focus upon the object. It was a woman. She held a candelabra in her left hand and moved to wipe his face with the right, the wet rag feeling good upon is skin. He moved in bed slightly and felt a tightness in his muscles – one that made him feel both old and young at once. He did not recall why he was there, but a voice inside his head told him something foul had occurred and yet, he felt no pain. But he pushed to rise from the bed and this told him he was unable to do so.
“You should not move,” the woman said with kindness.
She whispered in his ear to be quiet and wiped his head again, wringing the wet rag in a bowl of iced water.
He blinked once or twice and finally the shape of the room came to him, a well built room with high ceilings and finely crafted furniture. It was dark, save the candle light and he could see little in the shadows of the evening but he could tell easily that this was a wealthy home. He struggled to recall what might have brought him here, but still nothing came to him.
“Where am I?” he asked, becoming more comfortable in his voice.
“You are safe?” the voice replied and this caused him to finally look upon the woman.
She was ghostly pale with a distant face, but sharp eyes that seem to attract the light of the candle. Her hair was long and black and she wore simple clothes, a well worn apron tied about the waist. She seemed of slight build but had a firm touch as she promised again when she felt at the man’s head.
“You are hot. Perhaps a fever.”
“What is this place? Where am I?” the man asked again.
The answer did not come and the women moved from the bed and placed the rag in the bowl. She stood over him and watched him for a while, variously at his face and then his stomach. Her eyes seemed to stare directly through him giving him a disconcerting feeling. She bent down and offered a cup of warm liquid, tasting of iron on his tongue, but he accepted it freely and drank as if quenching a thirst.
“I…” his voiced gurgled as he attempted to speak again, “I must know what happens here?”
“You have been injured. Quite badly, Mr. Huard. Do you not recall?”
In the silence left from her question, it started to come back to him. A dark street…cold…him…the pain felt…so much blood…
His neck began to throb and an aching feeling seemed to take over his body. The man looked up to her and asked with questioning eyes, “Am I dead?”
“You will be,” she replied and added an extra smile.
* * *
New York City, 1792
New York City, 1792
A shape in the night stood by the docks by the East River and looked over the water, the cold apparent in the air meaning nothing to him. His blood was hot and his mind a frenzy. He’d missed out on it again and struggled to wrap his thought around the vision he wished for, and had for most of his life.
He sensed that he’d acted too quickly and his impetuousness might cost him. The calculation was there, but it was best to feed quickly and this meal was very little. It would have yielded nothing in sustenance or goal. But it tasted good, he had to admit. It always did. If only he could find the true thing and be able to live as he always wanted…free with no encumbrances. He longed to walk with the people and sense the smells of the day. They seemed so helpless but full of life. Perhaps that was why he enjoyed it so.
But his anger was too strong and he could not take his mind off the object of his desires. What he could do with that…the life he might lead and the…everything. He could have everything he had ever wanted and his long lifetime of struggle would be at an end. No longer would he be outcast but part of the play and his actors would hear his direction. He could lead and make the world a better place, certainly for himself. He knew he was selfish. He had little qualms about such a desire. But he could do so much more.
A slight breeze wafted through the air and he held his cheek out to feel the coolness whip by his face. It was the little pleasures, he thought to himself. One had to savor existence, especially if you were doomed to experience it. And he would find his special charm…his link back…his token of destiny. For he had been promised this and no one else.
He cursed under his breath and the frosty air left his lips leaving crispy dew in the night. Eyes hovered over the city, looking…seeking that which was his. That which could make him whole...that could make him human. That could make him…alive.
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Hmmm, mysterious indeed. Don't know what to think of it. But good writing as always.
Well now, it appears that both these individuals in the past might be getting into hot water. The one because he is dying, the other becaue he wishes to become alive.
true
I wonder if there is any correlation, such as the man is dying for the other to become a alive?
I don't think it is a coincidence that there is one dying and one wishing to become alive, there must be a reason, a reason probably explained in further chapters.
Human?
Whom, or what?
'U r hot', nice nice.
Nice narrative!
The eu3 game must have been interesting.
Whom, or what?
'U r hot', nice nice.
Nice narrative!
The eu3 game must have been interesting.
A vampire story, eh? The hints in the first half of the chapter color the entire second half. Nom nom on our mysterious clunked-over-the-head man, which means he may live to play a part in the 1938 chapter.
This is certainly keeping me pacing for more and more!
I can't wait for more to come...
I can't wait for more to come...
Fb-fb tonight, so let's get to it:
Outside of that, I really don't want to give too much away so as to keep the story exciting and the readers guessing. As you might have guessed at least this far, there is a little post-war USA. You have it right that, certainly in my narrative stories, what game action there is is buried deeply.
Hopefully I can keep churning out good stuff. I admit, I feel a little rusty right now, having gone too long with little writing. The Eagle in Winter's end has come entirely too slowly and I've let a lot of readers get away through such slow times.
To all - I really appreciate this great reception to this work. As I stated above, I hope the mixing of games works to allow for a good narrative here. I am trying to work on an every other day pace (at least every 3 days) and we'll see if that works. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
Glad to have you so hooked, comagoosie. And you are entirely correct, there will be a few hardships along the way. It'd be a pretty boring story otherwise.Easy case? Yeah right
I bet my bottom dollar that this won't be easy. I can't wait to see where this story goes and how it goes back in time! And I am most interested in seeing Mrs. Sullivan too!
That's a good question, Qorten and one I've kept close to my chest thus far. It isn't based on any ONE game but rather bits and pieces from others I've played in the past. You see, I had to buy a laptop when my CPU went down, and this one won't play EUIII anymore. The games I'd previously played kept offering me ideas here and there and I've been kind of building on them since. They finally came together when I started writing this.
Outside of that, I really don't want to give too much away so as to keep the story exciting and the readers guessing.
As you might have guessed at least this far, there is a little post-war USA. You have it right that, certainly in my narrative stories, what game action there is is buried deeply.Excellent! That's what I was going for, certainly.
Mysterious !
Thanks.
Good parallel and one I can't explain just yet. Soon, the picture will become brighter.
Something like that, though not quite. There is correlation though. I'll get there soon.
They all were but none enough to give me a full (and interesting) story. This hodgepodge, however, may well result in one.Human?
Whom, or what?
'U r hot', nice nice.
Nice narrative!
The eu3 game must have been interesting.
Do you think? Could be. There will be more where that came from. Certainly a connection is meant. I'll be jumping around like that often.
Excellent. That is what I want to hear from my readers.
Hopefully I can keep churning out good stuff. I admit, I feel a little rusty right now, having gone too long with little writing. The Eagle in Winter's end has come entirely too slowly and I've let a lot of readers get away through such slow times.To all - I really appreciate this great reception to this work. As I stated above, I hope the mixing of games works to allow for a good narrative here. I am trying to work on an every other day pace (at least every 3 days) and we'll see if that works. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
Uh-oh, looks like I'll have to really pay attention now... :rofl:
Eagerly awaiting the next update!
In that case, the history and characters you provide ought to be very interesting. But we already knew that.